I believe I have lived my whole life in freeze ( and fawn) ‘disability’ from child abuse survival mode. I have a lot of grief about my ‘wasted’ life living gripped in fear. I’d love to access this type of therapy and recovery
Britt Shirriffs I have a similar issue with 8 years of extremely traumatic ill health.. I am locked into a guilt wrapped freeze zone.. unable to process and move through
Yes I feel the same way- today I cried only 2 x's that progress- it's like a heavy weight that I carry around most of the day- I have been going in and out- I felt in body about 2 times today- honestly I'm working on not letting it freak me out! I started laughing therapy a few times today and it helped. Hang in there relief will come to you/ your here listening to this video- I am proud of us!
That's funny because I have felt like taking a self defence class- everything feels like a trigger to me- I can hardly walk out the door and when I do I skake- I'm learning to slow my work out down.
Fight = Problem felt beatable. Flight = You had an opportunity to escape or obtain an advantage. Freeze = Problem feels too overwhelming or you feel powerless. Interesting.
Someone commented they feel they have been frozen all of their life. I can relate. As a young adult I naively thought my issue was simply low self esteem. Eventually I began to understand I suffer from a variety of anxiety disorders due to emotional trauma in my childhood. Now I recognize a paralysis that comes over me in certain situations and with specific triggers. And it happens far more often than I've ever been able to acknowledged until recently. I've always attributed it to me just being the weirdo I was made to believe I am since I was a kid. It's taken me 45 years to wrap my brain around the true extent of the damage done to me as a child. Turns out I've always needed intense therapy but could never afford it.
I'm exactly the same, I thought I was weird aswell, I'm in my 60s and I've just found out last week about this freeze. I've been like a statue for all this time. Very embarrassing and it's kept me living a hermit life. Cruel families get enjoyment from knowing what the have caused. Sadistic soulless creatures.
@@Sweepee-v2v Im sorry for your experience. I just discovered my frozen state at 62 years old. Always tense and never gained weight. Exhausted all the time. Also made coordination difficult.
Same. Really stunts you. I am so isolated and i feel im too damaged to break out of it. I know its possible but without support or working with someone i feel comfortable with, im trapped. Sucks
@kevseb66 I didn’t realize I’ve been in freeze mode as well due to childhood abuse. I knew it wasn’t a self-esteem issue due to the physical reactions I get once I’m in flight mode. Trauma from childhood /compounded with trauma from the workplace, (I worked in retail banking for many years where I unfortunately experienced robberies) that haven’t been addressed is mind blowing. We were trained to go back to work immediately and call a help number to talk “anonymously “. So you put on a brave face and continue doing the work. This channel is a godsend…. Wishing everyone healing, peace and a beautiful life..🤎
Thank you for this comment. It hit the spot so hard. Felt deep sadness while reading it, and at the same time - something bittersweet about your (as well as mine) coming to realisation about what was happening, with a glimmer of hope to turn the tables (not in a way of getting back to anybody, but leading a better life from now on).
This is so normal--yet when I would tell people that I could not process information because I was pretty much in panic mode 24/7, they look at me like I'm speaking gibberish.
@@TheRealMisterChopShop It's a nightmare, right? I will say that it is possible to beat it--I know from meditation and other mental work that you can beat it. I am nowhere as panicky as I used to be.
Yeah, this happens with me to, only no one knows this about me though, as I believe they’ll be thinking of me as a weird person :/ I never know what’s wrong with me
Emma, I am a Psychotherapist in Canada and I just wanted to tell you that I've seen a few of your videos and I think you have an amazing skill of presenting information in such a digestible fashion. I like your simplistic, brief and warm approach. You are definitely a huge asset to the therapy community and all of humanity. Thank you for your videos.
Having major anxiety over work. It takes me FOREVER to finish something or answer an email. I have nausea, and I retreat by covering my face and welling up tears in my eyes. Thank you for validating what I feel.
I have unrelentless nausea that even causes this gross churning feeling & dizziness. I feel like death & no anxiety meds have helped. Keep going to the ER. I think I need a gi dr or neurologist.
Exercise is HARD to commence if you are indeed feeling frozen. Once you CAN get encouraged into movement (or manage it alone) then EXERCISE IS A “Godsend.”
Excercising is easy but in my case i have half my right side frozen due to the trauma and i cant train properly my muschles.If that wasnt a thing i wouldnt even care at this point.Also being frozen doesnt allow me to properly study for university so yea its a fucking stupid thing and you cant do shit properly
I totally understand. Which is why they teach you to understand anxiety first and accept it. When we understand it, we remind ourselves that the freeze state/paralysis is not due to a physical/structural issue, but only based in our thoughts/anxious mind. This reinforces safety, takes care of the worry and fear, and makes it much easier to re-engage with outside world/movement. Of course, this requires repeat practice and consistency too: the freeze response/anxiety won't go away with one session.
1. Reengage the Body -Remind it it’s safe -Body sends message to brain that your safe -Create movement (Pat your legs, stomp your feet, shaking arms, dancing) -After you can process trauma out of freeze -Don’t move in a fear based way, but in an intentional way 2. Self defense training 3. identifying your triggers/symptoms -what happens when you freeze, so you know how to ground yourself 4. Exercise -Get excited, similar to flight or fight 5. Practice how you would like to response -if you freeze in a meeting practice what you want to say with others 6. Develop the ability to Envision Safety -Same as how you imagine flight -Imagine times that went well
I'm 52. I have had effective therapy in the past decade and the freeze response is incredibly hard to escape from. Your video is so helpful to remind myself that I can't think myself out of this, it is truly like you mentioned resolved via just tricking my brain to realize it isn't needed. Now, I can easily regret the 1000s of hours of my life lost in this state, but I know as I move forward there will be less of it. Folks like yourself make a huge difference in lives like my own. Thank you.
I recently discovered my problem with procrastination is related to my freeze response. I have only gone into the physical aspect of the freeze response once but, the going silent and becoming "invisible" until I will not be noticed leaving has gone on for decades. I'm now realizing following my dreams and doing things my family screamed at me I could not do are triggering the same response that I thought was procrastination. Now that I have acknowledged what's really happening the "procrastination is gone."
I am suspecting this today. As a kid I used to physically freeze when I was in danger/being abused. Seems to me that my brain works like this when I have a huge task ahead that I need to do alone. Funny thing, if it is a collaborative project I am OK, if anything I will take up the larger workload....I think I feel safer when there are enough people aware of the "threat" than when I am all alone working at it.
its not uncommon to feel safe in productive and collaborative work/school environments while feeling frozen on your own when things are really 'close to home'. I had a fear of being alone for so long because of this i think. @@neema5942
I went through 4 therapists in this past year alone, undergoing and reliving so much trauma. Not ONE explaining or mentioned any of this to me, even though I was describing and exhibiting these exact symptoms. Now I can’t move past this ‘block’ to even find a new therapist. Thank you for these videos
It's hard to find a therapist that works or think like this. I get tired of looking. I'm sick of wishy washy therapists that don't guide you through things like this.
I sympathise. The only thing that's helped my personally with this feeling you describe is medication. I have done inner work and made progress but theres an anxiety that you mention that gets triggered and I can identify with what you say. There are Assertiveness skills and social anxiety and trauma (bullying) all have an effect from my experience but the only relief for me from it is what I've described.
Omg when you describe the stiffness it rings true. I’d be so angry but my body becomes rigid, my mind becomes rigid and I can’t process through to the end of the anger. I’ve found that developing awareness of what’s happening is the key to breaking the wheel.
I wish I had a therapist who knew about this. I had trauma therapy and we never left the talking stage because I kept dissociating. The therapist thought I was pretending to ignore him or trying to force the session to end. While I wanted to work on processing my trauma so much, because it was and still is disrupting my life every day. And he claimed to be a specialist.
@@soblue315same thing happened to me too here in South India! ❤ My life story was very entertaining to him, he was laughing and enjoying every bit, did not help me much, charged me a lot and finally told me that I have no future in Indian society, because of my experiences in life!!!
"Patients treated by male surgeons were 25% more likely to die within 90 days, and 24% more likely to die within a year when compared to patients treated by female surgeons." Also "People treated by female physicians have lower rates of mortality and readmission than those treated by male physicians. That’s according to research published today in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine."
6:09 Re-engage the body (create movement, pat legs, move arms, stomp feet, shake arms, dance, go a little crazy) 9:05 Train in martial arts 10:27 Work out! 11:08 Practice and Role-play effective responses Creating a Safe Place Video ua-cam.com/video/Isw37iCwMCg/v-deo.html
I realize Ive done some of these things automatically, but in a cubicle environment everyone keeps telling you to sit down, stop pacing, stop fidgeting, stop walking the corridors. But sitting down in a chair just adds to the freeze response and eventually my brain will just lock up. Thank for for telling me that what Ive been doing is what is required for me to function when faced with tough deadlines.
I have childhood PTSD. I have to keep moving. If I stop I freeze. It's worse under stress and with people who don't emotionally regulate well. I had to learn how to make my movements smaller or mask them so I looked just like the folks around so I didn't become a target. Some abusers remind me of wildlife predators, they look for movement and anything that distinguishes you from the people around you. Being in a cubicle environment with those needs sounds tough. One guy I worked with would pace and stretch a lot. He said it was to get his brain juice flowing and fight off cognitive fatigue. Only worked cause he was an older guy though.
I always had the freeze response when confronted with someone saying something degrading to me in school. I could never think of a good comeback until later that evening while in bed. It seems my first response to anything that would get my adrenaline going was always to freeze, never to run or fight. I still do this when someone yells at me and I become very compliant. I lost a cat this way and it destroyed me because I let the vet who was yelling at me go ahead and put her to sleep without having any time to think about it. For 9 months afterward I cried continuously over her and started thinking that I was an evil person to allow that to have happened. The thing that made me stop crying over my cat was that my youngest daughter committed suicide. All this happened in 2012 and 2013. I could have really used this information early on in life, especially during the 18 years or so that I was continually replaying my childhood traumas in my head and crying every night. I would say my brain was definitely frozen then!
I'm so sorry that happened to you, hope you are healing and doing well. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your experience, it helps others that are struggling as well.
Szusza, I was forced to put my cat down and regretted it. Im so sorry about your daughters suicide😭 I hope you find peace & power to never let anyone yell at you again!
I’ve been stuck in this on and off all of my adult life (since my trauma at 18). You are the only one talking about this, no one gets it. I hear, “just get up” 🙄… umm if i could I would! It’s destroyed my career, it can last weeks. Im just so sick. Edit- awww! I see my comment from one year ago! Always coming back 🧡
I agree it's great what she is saying, but she's not the only one talking about it, lots are - look at Dr. David Berceli w Trauma Release Exercises, anything about Somatic Experiencing, and all these people whose names are excaping me at 1am haha
8:00 That reaction of the person coming in is exactly the reason why we nowhadays have so many problems getting rid of the traumas - we're being admonished for doing the stuff that helps, like running, moving, spazing out like children do naturally. Thanks so much for sharing the tipps, they really help!
This was such a helpful video. I'm an art therapist in Korea and I notice more and more people experiencing freezing response daily and I was trying to put together practical ways to help them. This summarized so well, and I think you immensely!
Here's a tip that helps me a lot of the time: "I'll take care of it tomorrow. It's not now, it's later. Right now, I'm safe." The false sense of urgency of facing the impending danger is countered to some extent by the fact that the danger is not immediately in the moment but something that scares you and will happen in the future, some hours, days or weeks from now. Luckily, I have a laziness habit and "postponing" allows me to tap into that and calm down. Of course, when the perceived danger is in the present, the other things you mentioned have to be used. About body-movement, another "peace-time" trick for telling your body there is no danger is listening to your favourite music. I like folk or country music or music videos with funny things in them, as also things that make me feel like dancing. Dancing immediately changes frozen stiff mode into play mode in my case.
I started doing the exercises when you mentioned them, and I just started crying automatically, just by patting my thighs. I have been crying a lot lately, but I think there was almost a resistance to wanting to move. But I am hoping that was a sign it was helping me "unfreeze." Thank you.
I know this is a super blanket non-trauma informed statement but I hate PTSD so much lol like it has been 2 years of increasingly, and daily, freeze response episodes and constant dissociation and my entire life & support system has suffered because of it. This video was very helpful, thank you 🙏
Emma, in the name of accessibility, it would be helpful to add Closed Captions (CC) to this video. I am hearing impaired and barely able to comprehend the speaker. Thanks for your assistance. Click Settings > click Subtitles/CC > click Add subtitles/CC > select English and proceed. This way, you can reach a wider audience - deaf, English learners, etc. Judging from the first go-around, I like your style of presentation and the abundance of information. And I would like to be able to fill in the missing pieces in the next go-around with the aid of CC.
Hi there, I am currently working on adding subtitles for you and other hearing impaired people who find this video. I'll reply to this comment when I'm finished :)
Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for this video and your work. The timing of this tonight…my freeze response had me locked up and going to some dark places a few hours ago. I’m no longer there thankfully. I can almost just start to envision a better future for myself. It feels possible.
Literally the most life changing thing I have done for myself is implementing intense exercise in my moments of chronic-anxiety -freeze. This is all so valuable. Thank you!
I related to your description of holding emotions in the body. Also, I realize I start to disassociate with the present moment, get stuck in my head, overthink, and procrastinate when something comes up that induces anxiety. I like the idea of engaging my body, and your suggestions are even things I can do find a way to do quickly at my cubicle at work without getting weird reactions.
I’m so thankful that I stumbled upon your video. I was blaming myself for years as to why I would just completely “shut down.” I thought it was just my depression or menopause or the recent divorce and on and on. I felt like I was stuck in a real funk! I went as far as feeling like I couldn’t even do housework or get dressed anymore. I have been troubled by this for going on 10 years. I am slowly clawing my way forward but sometimes I rebound and have to bravely take steps that keep me moving. It’s very hard because I’m alone now but my dog gives me reasons for staying somewhat motivated. I am a faithful Christian and I do a lot of praying. I am very thankful that I am not living on the streets and no food to eat. I hope whoever reads this can realize that this “freeze” response is real but can be overcome. Thanks and God bless!🙏🏻❤️
This is extremely valuable info. I recently had my brain's freeze response triggered (extended full-body numbness and mental haze). I knew enough about Dr. Peter Levine's work to search for a trained Somatic Experiencing practitioner and found several in my area (Dallas, TX). Even just one session helped me know what to do to feel grounded, empowered, and capable of finding a safe container for myself in my own skin. Much love to everyone else doing this work!
You seem really knowledgeable, maybe you could point me into the right direction, if you don’t mind. It seems as if the freeze response is dominant in me. I’m seeing a therapist and he elaborated the plan he is going to pursue in therapy - so I’m really looking for complementary information to help cope me with my daily issues. Whether stemming from trauma, cptsd or what ever I relapsed with social anxiety and some flashbacks from previous physical attacks. I’ve read all the Books from Vessel van der Kolk, to Pete Walker, Judith Herman and so forth. But as Emma stated, once you triggered into fight or flight there’s little you can do. I know from experience (like when I’m Jogging) that movement can break the physical cycle of a freeze response. But what to do when freeze strikes you while walking through the city or sitting in the metro? I try breathing exercises but the attempt to desperately keep calm and focused (anxiety part) makes it worse. So if you or anybody reading this comment could give me some hints I would really appreciate it. I’m kinda stuck on that part...
Having a rule that it’s ok to be anxious and just do the thing - has been something I’ve done all my life without having the words for it. I just did it today and it was just as hard/frightening as the first time. But, if it’s going to help someone, the company you work for, or improve a situation, then it’s best to white knuckle it from time to time.
Thank you for this video, especially pointing out that actual trained therapists do not know this. It is a minefield trying to get help from a good therapist who understand these things, and not getting re-traumatized simply from therapists themselves who do not understand these things
This video has helped me so much. I never had a therapist even talk about this. I catch myself holding my breath all the time. When something "blindsides" me, that is overwhelming, my brain goes "offline" and it's so difficult to restart my mind. I am happy to hear about going in through the backdoor with exercise and activity. Thank you for this information.
@@faisalbi1330 sometimes when things don't go as they should I just freeze up stop I need to continue but it becomes very hard to continue in my state of fear
I'm just learning freeze response has been my go to. I always thought I was fight, but it's actually freeze. It takes a lot to bring me down, I have very little triggers, I overcome all the obstacles in life. But recently, some big changes and loss put me into freeze mode and I thought it was a new response coming from me. But it's not new. It just feels new bc I rarely have to access it. Coming to this realization is powerful. Since the big changes and being stuck in freeze mode, I've since recognized my triggers and traumas that still need healed. I recognize a pattern of freeze mode in my behavior. I want to learn how to change it and/or get out of it when I start feeling trapped there. Or maybe learn how to utilize other coping skills when these triggers come up. Your video is very helpful. Don't apologize for talking too much. I'd listen for hours!! Thank you for sharing!! ❤
This made me realize that I have a freezing problem in some situations and what I can do about them. I didn’t realize what had been happening. Very helpful. Thanks.
I've been struggling with this my entire life and never acknowledged it until I started a job that required me to move my body quickly in order to get my tasks done in time. I feel inadequate all the time because of freeze response, but this video helped me understand that it's a normal response and that there are ways of mitigating it. Helped me more than 6 months of speaking with my therapist. To anyone in the same boat as me -- Chin up! You CAN do this!
I've been suffering from neck stiffness and headaches, & I think this freeze response may be at the root cause of my issue. I really appreciate the content you're providing. Thanks so much; you're awesome!
Two years ago I left a bad marriage after 25 years and 19 as a stay at home mom. This past year I have struggled trying to find work. Im 57 and trying to survive alone.My fear of becoming homeless is now out of control and I got downsized at work after 7 months and just spent 4 days frozen in bed. I got up today and am trying to function. I realize I need therapy but lost my benefits. In the meantime, I am trying to use all the tools I can find. Thank you for posting this.
It's also about feeling like you can Get Out of the position / room/ situation that you're in-- not just feeling safe. It's being able to re-active that ability to respond as needed-- to be free to move At Will----- while feeling safe in that ability
Aw I can't thank you enough. This method is helping me. I am in a very sad/torturing freeze response. Doing nothing and feeling dead. I didn't know how to end this awful feeling. You helped me. Thank you very much for your words.
Your videos have helped me realize that I’m trapped in this “freeze” response after years of trauma and abuse and feeling very powerless and trapped. For a while now, everything in my life has seemed extremely overwhelming. I’m having a really hard time doing the simplest of tasks, so things keep piling up all around me, and I just can’t find the motivation to do any of them. I thought it was just depression, but I realize now there’s a lot of anxiety involved, and my brain just keeps trying to shut down to protect me. I’m hopeful that with the wisdom I’m learning from you, I’ll be able to kick myself in gear again and get on with living my life.
I always cry with relief when I watch these videos. I used to have insurance and take advantage of cbt therapy and now, without insurance, I love them to maintain what I've learned. Living in current times with this stuff available on UA-cam for free makes me feel sad for the people before us that didn't have the same access but I'm so grateful for it. ❤
I loved this video! I was freezing from being overwhelmed by over-planning in too many projects for one person. I like the word apprehension when I feel like procrastinating from being overwhelmed. One thing that helped me is thinking of the opposite of apprehension as excitement. It's easy to take for granted all of the opportunities and possible great outcomes of starting. Some people say just simply turn your anxiety into excitement. Using the information you outlined here, that seems attainable. Thanks ❤
Thank you so much for making this. I always thought I was a wierd kid because my mind would shut down whenever I was around strangers. But now I am realising I was stuck in freeze response.
Thank you. I hate feeling powerless and small so often, even the idea of a confrontation with someone puts me into freeze. I’m glad to know a way to kickstart my body into motion again.
Thank you. Throughout a year of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis CFS with autoimmune disease due to unknown possibly covid virus, your videos have helped me so so much. I have so much to overcome and I feel frozen in freeze, physically. Your explanation is healing to the soul. Learning to feel safe. God bless you.
Thank you so much for this video! My first therapist told me my early childhood sexual abuse was my fault because I froze. I’ve always struggled with it since. This was so helpful to hear and makes so much sense.
That was a wicked thing to say! No doubt you didn't have the strength at the time to report them. There are some sick 'therapists' out there, using people to project onto.
Love these tips - thanks for sharing them. It validates the 'freeze' response without shame. I've been told several times in the past talking is the only way to get out of freeze and always hated it because the voice in your head is screaming 'I'm too frozen to talk'. I think many people still underestimate the power the body has to lead the mind
I used to freeze up working at a restaurant as a busser. Probably looked like a deer in headlights. My waiter pointed it out and forced me through it during rush hours lol I spent months before he said I got way better at handling stress. I wasn't even the same person anymore. So I guess got over it through exposure and consciously trying to get better at not doing it. :) I didn't even know there was an official name to it. It's crazy my waiter called it out and even said the words "I freeze in the face of stress" not knowing how close he was to actually naming it! Now I know why I used to do that. This was years ago. I guess there's a reason for everything.
This makes so much sense and I wonder why more therapists aren't aware of this because it would help SO many people who are suffering. I WISH you had some tapes to listen to.....
The night my husband was killed in a farm accident i experienced this. I was totally detached and calm to the point of sluggish. There was my inner voice screaming at me from afar off telling me to go through the motions of calling for help, searching for him in the dark, finding and comforting him and doing cpr after he passed. I did everything on some kind of autopilot knowing that I had to give him every possible chance and not being in regret for not doing something that I could have done. It was so crazy trying to whip my frozen body and brain into action. I now find that the response is almost my default mode in times of stress but it gives me a second to think about what I need to do and then push against my stupid brain and body and move💜🙏
I did your full body shaking last night, and started crying after a minute or so, amazing release. Thank you so much for ALL the videos, greatly appreciated.
Looks so simple, and you smile so confidently. I've been doing all these things, day after day for a year and a half; and day after day is a living hell with no respite and no improvement. I know all about the limbic system, amygdala and flight, fight freeze, and the body's response to trauma. I'm an accomplished scientist/technologist/engineer and understand the mechanisms; After having to work it out for myself. Like all professionals we are good at defining the mechanisms of a given problem but that does not necessarily present a solution or a pathway out. One can feel NO joy or happiness when one's life is urgently threatened. That's how trauma sufferers feel all the time; the alarm bells don't switch off. Along with debilitating shame and humiliation. I feel patronized when therapists explain trauma to me while offering no tangible direction or steps to find a path out of this joyless hell.
I agree. Today I HAD to take a shower and THAT made me anxious! My body was starting to go into a freeze and I punched at the air as if I was fighting something and my body must of communicated to my brain that there was no threat and I was in control. The freeze went away and I showered. A victory for sure. Try it, you may like it!
For whoever is looking for more solutions... After 30 years of all of this FFFFFF'S I seat down and start asking questions to myself... Why this and why that... base on my problems... I reviewed my doctors recommendations and come to answer that I have been all the time treated for pain but not for healing. Fatty liver... recommendation... don't eat fat... They told me that I have to go on diet and no one told me that I have licking gut and that my body is full with water... That proteins have been broken and don't function properly... Hair lost, edema... And regarding my brain... antidepressants and I have a notebook of time and dates when I feel pain and in which region of my head... So... all the problems star from the Adrenal glands... When under all of this FFFFFF'S this glands, that seat on the top of our kidneys, start to produce too much CORTISOL Our live, that have over 500 factions, then start to over work and with the time our body starts slowly to get out of balance and different aliments start to show up. I have learn about three nerves systems in our body, peripheral neuropathy , licking gut... and once you start looking the algorithm of YT will start to recommend videos in that field... I found Dr Berg and look at Ayurveda and found Nityanandam Shree... In conclusion... it is not our brain that controls our body... and I have lost so much time trying to understand only the "brain"... but now I understand that the fuel that we give to our brain is VERY IMPORTANT and crucial in our thinking and actions. Very many blessings to you all. Ps: all the good to all vegetarians but I am sticking to balance diet. YOUR SOUL KNOWS
This video is really good. Thank you for actually giving tips without trying to sell a course without giving the tips. All these other UA-camrs don't actually give you exercises like this to help. They just talk about the trauma then say oh you can get this info how to heal if you go to my website and blah blah blah.
I have developmental trauma and I'm basically mostly in a locked freeze response. I just had my first Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy a few days ago to heal these unresolved traumas I have. I want to break free from the unhealthy patterns. 🙏
I too have trauma from a specific event, it affects me a lot now, I can't think sometimes and have powerful migraines. How are you now, did the SE exercises helped you truly release your trauma?
@@Puya008 I've been having weekly sessions for almost 4 months now, and I feel the differences in how I process things especially when I get "triggered". I learned to start looking on the inside assessing how I truly feel bodily (somatically) and emotionally. It helps create a sense of awareness.. and my anxieties usually manifest through my heart pumping beating so fast and my chest closing in.. and before SE therapy, I only knew how to "rationalize" and calm my brain by trying to stick to my present reality.. which I realized, wasn't really always enough for me.. But with SE Therapies.. somehow, I could say, I am starting to build more resilience in facing my negative emotions (anxiety, anger, fear, etc.) tied to my past traumas by properly processing them somatically. So, yes, SE therapy has been helping me to release and process my trauma. I have quite a lot and.. healing takes time. ☺️☺️
@@hennuhpi Thank you for explaning how the somatic exercises helped you until now. I'm happy that it helped you manage you trauma better and the corelated emotions with it, like anger. I will look at it too, hopefully it will help me truly release my trauma and just return to my life before. Just trying to think about it and make sense it doesn't work. I wish you a true recovery, and much joy in your life.
Thank you thank you, was completely frozen. After watching this tried the tapping and stomping. Then started crying, which surprised me. Now brain fog has disappeared and was able to continue on with my day thank you angel.
I have this cyclical issue sometimes with freeze. I can feel it or feel it building and then that makes me feel more upset and angry at my body for doing it again. Or I feel distressed thinking it's never going to go away and of course that escalates things even more. My brain tends to then find MORE things for me be upset by. Like: "Oh, and what about THIS thing that made you feel this way last year?" etc. Sometimes it feels like I am my own worst enemy. Or like my head is doing it's best to make it even harder than it already is. This video is really helpful and the note about saying I can feel anxious and be okay is excellent. Thank you ❤
Can you please make a video about being stuck in fawn response? I grew up in a hyper enmeshed relationship to the point that during the difficult days, I feel like I’m a livestock, whose life purpose and existence is to provide, cheer, and help my mom who had full control of my inner child. I’m never allowed to have an opinion or preference, if I do, I get shamed or called ridiculed. She lived her life vicariously through me and enforced her point of view in everything. I was never allowed to date until I’m in my 30s. I grew up to be a people pleaser but I did very well in education, financial, and job aspects. I rose up quickly in my career..my peers are all atleast 10 years older than me. So I’m this boss young lady who is still a people pleaser, struggles with setting boundaries all the way around,have severe difficulties forming an opinion, and seems to attract people in my life with narcissistic traits.
This is genius! This is more powerful than most people imagine and is actually life changing. There isn’t enough thank you’s that could be generated for this ❤️
After watching several of your videos, I see how none of the six therapists I saw in the past had any idea what they were talking about. I wish you and You Tube had been around in 1969 when I began my search for help for my anxiety and depression.
I feel like this is really complicated by chronic illness. I would love any videos about chronic illness/trauma/freeze response trifecta if you have the expertise to provide them! If not that’s fine, and thank you so much for everything you do on this platform.
I was watching this while I sat outside in the dark early morning having a cigarette. A gray cat came around the corner fairly fast and stopped to look at me. We were both in the mode. I slightly swayed and bounced my thighs a tiny bit. The cat walked on, and what normally would have had me shaken up for hours- is replaced with well, nothing! I can proceed with my day, my life. Actually, I’m a little thrilled that I have a tool to use now, that I can do on purpose. I have been doing it most of my life, but now that I know why, and how to use it, it’s a game changer!!!!!! Thanks for the little video with the great big message 🙂
just watching this video sends me into dissociative mode as it triggers memories of being frozen and a sense of shame and regret at having missed so many wonderful opportunities because I went into locked in freeze mode. I had to keep skipping back to get everything, but the video is full of hope. Thank you.
I wish you were my therapist. Watching this and no idea why I started to cry. Been in freeze big time since yesterday. Usually it’s not this in my face, so to speak.
It is very interesting to see your techniques when you say that we have to move our body to hack the brain's response. I noticed than when I am in an extreme freeze mode, I would shake my legs, foot and toes like, even swing my body to force myself being present in the body and try to ground myself. I always thougth movements sooth me. You just confirmed that I am not doing crazy things 😂
Wow I did not know I had a freeze response - I use fawning behaviour very easily to get out of situations, I didn't associate that with freezing because I have an easy fight response too, now a lot of things make sense and why I feel trapped sometimes! This is great, thank you for highlighting it Emma. I'm probably overcompensating with fight response and blame, for the times I freeze somewhere else.
I’m 75 and as a child I lived in a very dysfunctional family. My parents fought ugly and my dad had multiple affairs he didn’t hide. Mom cried and cried. I froze as a child, shrank or tried to help but to no avail. This adaptive mechanism continued into adulthood. I’m married to a great guy who loves me deeply and I have 2 daughters. I was reflecting for awhile before I found this video about freezing. I wondered why I never felt normal joy at things others do. Birth of a child, I detached. I wanted a baby dearly so why? A wedding, I smiled a lot but didn’t really engage. I thought I learned to detach to protect myself, now I believe it is freezing. Thank you, it all makes sense.
Thank you! Just listening to this helped me feel calmer. So much of my anxiety, is feeling like something is wrong with me or feeling guilty for wanting to interact with ppl less. I’ve had others shame me for the symptoms of my trauma. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m So grateful for ppl like you. 🙏💝
I recently found this channel. Looking forward to this video as I am one that freezes due to trauma. I want to change it. I want to be different in that area.
You are awesome in these videos because you’re not boring and you treat the problem for what it is- a natural response that is not to be feared. It’s difficult to adjust but it can be done. Thank you!
This has helped a person whose experience has been the absence of help for 30+ years. Encumbering helplessness lacking even momentary reprieve. Only recently have I found genuine actionable techniques. Keep up the successful explanations 🏆
this video is super informative and helpful! thank you! i freeze a lot in general, i have mentioned to therapists and doctors how i sometimes just cannot move at all and/or simply cannot do things. Things as basic as going to the bathroom or eating or more complex tasks like studying and working... even things i enjoy... And getting up in the morning can be so hard because i just feel so heavy and sometimes i try to move and i can feel my muscles trying to tense up to move but they don't move unless i put soooo much effort into it i am exhausted in the end... The multiple docs and therapists didn't explain to me why or what was happening to me, and i came to them because of it because it interferes with my life so much, it was very frustrating. But if i am freezing because my brain thinks i am in danger and that will help, it makes sense now! specially because as a child i did physically freeze several times when i was in danger and that did save and help me get through it with less damage than otherwise. So my body and brain must know is an effective measure when i am just stressed or anxious. I will try somd of these techniques ❤️ Also, the self defense training works, i can attest to it. It can even be scary and surprising. After having trained karate for about a year as a teen, this one time my mother came to beat me up after cornering me (which was not unusual and as you can imagine with my previous paragraphs, i usually just froze and let it happen), i automatically blocked her swing, which was terrifying when i realized what had happened, because when i was smaller any resistance was met with even harsher punishment, but now that i was bigger i could see she felt scared i might fight back in her eyes so she got very mad and offended but went away and never hit me after that day... So yeah! self defense works. Is good excercise too.
My freeze response comes when I try to write my personal projects. I have no problem sitting for hours in order to work, but when it comes to myself I totally have a freeze response. This is helping out a lot, thank you
I just wanna say for a second... Thanks so much for making these! I am in therapy myself right now (CBT for anxiety), but I WISH MY THERAPIST HAD TOLD ME THESE THINGS. Imean... really. Tbh I kinda felt not understood and CONFUSED cause she kept telling me to "asses the thoughts" and then "do the thing", while I was like "H O W do I DO THE THING when I am more frozen solid than a block of ice?" Your approach and explanations feel very to the point, yet thorough, and compassionate.
I've watched a number of your videos and each time I am taken with how knowledgeable, compassionate, and empathetic you are. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your work.
This is so relatable! I have frozen a thousand times around a former boss who was probably a narcissist. He was so abusive. Now that I am applying for a new role, I am having flashbacks and feeling incredibly tense about it. He was fired a long time ago, so the threat has passed, but I still have those intense feelings.
Thank you so much for this video. I experience freezing at a disproportionate level when approaching the unknown. I was very adventurous as a child, both mentally, and physically and now looking back see my repetitive, long-term, traumas as a big part of where I find myself today. I'll pursue the strategies you provided as I look to find a good therapist.
My...i never imagined that living with a verbally abusive, extremely narcissistic woman would lead to this. Although i thought staying in the relationship would be best for my kids, I now realize I have to save myself in order to save them.
I went thru this with a mentally and verbally abusive narcissist husband, for 20 yrs,I stayed for my kids, then left for my kids. Now in therapy trying to heal, I actually got physically sick, even anxiety induced seizures, brain scan and blood work all showed it to be stress induced physical illness
I believe I have lived my whole life in freeze ( and fawn) ‘disability’ from child abuse survival mode. I have a lot of grief about my ‘wasted’ life living gripped in fear. I’d love to access this type of therapy and recovery
Me too from childhood trauma, check this out; ua-cam.com/video/tybOi4hjZFQ/v-deo.html
I am taking a class from Richard Grannon.
You put it perfectly 😔, I relate!
Britt Shirriffs I have a similar issue with 8 years of extremely traumatic ill health.. I am locked into a guilt wrapped freeze zone.. unable to process and move through
Sage I watch him. How is his class working for you, if I may ask?
Is there anyone else that can burst into tears at ANY moment during the day without any trigger?
🖐
Me
Yes I feel the same way- today I cried only 2 x's that progress- it's like a heavy weight that I carry around most of the day- I have been going in and out- I felt in body about 2 times today- honestly I'm working on not letting it freak me out! I started laughing therapy a few times today and it helped. Hang in there relief will come to you/ your here listening to this video- I am proud of us!
That's funny because I have felt like taking a self defence class- everything feels like a trigger to me- I can hardly walk out the door and when I do I skake- I'm learning to slow my work out down.
I had this when I was experiencing depression :(
Fight = Problem felt beatable.
Flight = You had an opportunity to escape or obtain an advantage.
Freeze = Problem feels too overwhelming or you feel powerless.
Interesting.
So narrative is important here
More like "Freeze = the only way out of this one is if they think I'm dead or flat out don't see me".
@@Adnama3697 being powerless implies that imo
Freeze is camouflage or hoping the attacker gets bored, not powerless.
@@janeblogs324 and why does one do that? Because they can’t do anything else = powerless^^
Someone commented they feel they have been frozen all of their life. I can relate. As a young adult I naively thought my issue was simply low self esteem. Eventually I began to understand I suffer from a variety of anxiety disorders due to emotional trauma in my childhood. Now I recognize a paralysis that comes over me in certain situations and with specific triggers. And it happens far more often than I've ever been able to acknowledged until recently. I've always attributed it to me just being the weirdo I was made to believe I am since I was a kid. It's taken me 45 years to wrap my brain around the true extent of the damage done to me as a child. Turns out I've always needed intense therapy but could never afford it.
I'm exactly the same, I thought I was weird aswell, I'm in my 60s and I've just found out last week about this freeze. I've been like a statue for all this time. Very embarrassing and it's kept me living a hermit life. Cruel families get enjoyment from knowing what the have caused. Sadistic soulless creatures.
@@Sweepee-v2v Im sorry for your experience. I just discovered my frozen state at 62 years old. Always tense and never gained weight. Exhausted all the time. Also made coordination difficult.
Same. Really stunts you. I am so isolated and i feel im too damaged to break out of it. I know its possible but without support or working with someone i feel comfortable with, im trapped. Sucks
@kevseb66 I didn’t realize I’ve been in freeze mode as well due to childhood abuse. I knew it wasn’t a self-esteem issue due to the physical reactions I get once I’m in flight mode. Trauma from childhood /compounded with trauma from the workplace, (I worked in retail banking for many years where I unfortunately experienced robberies) that haven’t been addressed is mind blowing. We were trained to go back to work immediately and call a help number to talk “anonymously “. So you put on a brave face and continue doing the work. This channel is a godsend…. Wishing everyone healing, peace and a beautiful life..🤎
Thank you for this comment. It hit the spot so hard. Felt deep sadness while reading it, and at the same time - something bittersweet about your (as well as mine) coming to realisation about what was happening, with a glimmer of hope to turn the tables (not in a way of getting back to anybody, but leading a better life from now on).
This is so normal--yet when I would tell people that I could not process information because I was pretty much in panic mode 24/7, they look at me like I'm speaking gibberish.
You’re speaking my language
@@TheRealMisterChopShop It's a nightmare, right? I will say that it is possible to beat it--I know from meditation and other mental work that you can beat it. I am nowhere as panicky as I used to be.
Yeah, this happens with me to, only no one knows this about me though, as I believe they’ll be thinking of me as a weird person :/ I never know what’s wrong with me
You are not alone
Me too
Emma, I am a Psychotherapist in Canada and I just wanted to tell you that I've seen a few of your videos and I think you have an amazing skill of presenting information in such a digestible fashion. I like your simplistic, brief and warm approach. You are definitely a huge asset to the therapy community and all of humanity. Thank you for your videos.
😘
100% agreed!
Good
Yessss!!
I agree!!
Having major anxiety over work. It takes me FOREVER to finish something or answer an email. I have nausea, and I retreat by covering my face and welling up tears in my eyes. Thank you for validating what I feel.
wow 😯 wish you best buddy
Hang in there! I've been frozen for weeks in this same way!
I have unrelentless nausea that even causes this gross churning feeling & dizziness. I feel like death & no anxiety meds have helped. Keep going to the ER. I think I need a gi dr or neurologist.
Healing and blessings forever and joy and release and light feelings for all of you
@@danashannon8234 Ginger helps settle the stomach. I suck on these ginger chews and it helps. I'm praying for you!
Exercise is HARD to commence if you are indeed feeling frozen. Once you CAN get encouraged into movement (or manage it alone) then EXERCISE IS A “Godsend.”
Excercising is easy but in my case i have half my right side frozen due to the trauma and i cant train properly my muschles.If that wasnt a thing i wouldnt even care at this point.Also being frozen doesnt allow me to properly study for university so yea its a fucking stupid thing and you cant do shit properly
I totally understand. Which is why they teach you to understand anxiety first and accept it. When we understand it, we remind ourselves that the freeze state/paralysis is not due to a physical/structural issue, but only based in our thoughts/anxious mind. This reinforces safety, takes care of the worry and fear, and makes it much easier to re-engage with outside world/movement. Of course, this requires repeat practice and consistency too: the freeze response/anxiety won't go away with one session.
Yes!
Exercise give me more anxiety
I feel that, I definitely want to curl up into a ball and literally freeze rather than engage my muscles, make big movements, and get heated up.
1. Reengage the Body
-Remind it it’s safe
-Body sends message to brain that your safe
-Create movement (Pat your legs, stomp your feet, shaking arms, dancing)
-After you can process trauma out of freeze
-Don’t move in a fear based way, but in an intentional way
2. Self defense training
3. identifying your triggers/symptoms
-what happens when you freeze, so you know how to ground yourself
4. Exercise
-Get excited, similar to flight or fight
5. Practice how you would like to response
-if you freeze in a meeting practice what you want to say with others
6. Develop the ability to Envision Safety
-Same as how you imagine flight
-Imagine times that went well
I watched the whole video, but this summary is great - thanks!
Thank you for the summary 😊
These are the things TO DO- now, HOW????
Thank you, this helps my ADD self! lol
Omg thank you. I've been rewatching the video trying to write this all down.
this is so underrated that people don't care when you have this disorder...
I'm 52. I have had effective therapy in the past decade and the freeze response is incredibly hard to escape from. Your video is so helpful to remind myself that I can't think myself out of this, it is truly like you mentioned resolved via just tricking my brain to realize it isn't needed. Now, I can easily regret the 1000s of hours of my life lost in this state, but I know as I move forward there will be less of it. Folks like yourself make a huge difference in lives like my own. Thank you.
I recently discovered my problem with procrastination is related to my freeze response. I have only gone into the physical aspect of the freeze response once but, the going silent and becoming "invisible" until I will not be noticed leaving has gone on for decades. I'm now realizing following my dreams and doing things my family screamed at me I could not do are triggering the same response that I thought was procrastination. Now that I have acknowledged what's really happening the "procrastination is gone."
Yes. You’ve articulated that perfectly. Me too.
I am suspecting this today.
As a kid I used to physically freeze when I was in danger/being abused.
Seems to me that my brain works like this when I have a huge task ahead that I need to do alone.
Funny thing, if it is a collaborative project I am OK, if anything I will take up the larger workload....I think I feel safer when there are enough people aware of the "threat" than when I am all alone working at it.
It is nice to have those to back you up and encourage you along the way as they understand your challenges. I wish I had that!
@@neema5942
its not uncommon to feel safe in productive and collaborative work/school environments while feeling frozen on your own when things are really 'close to home'. I had a fear of being alone for so long because of this i think. @@neema5942
Thats a blessing❤
I went through 4 therapists in this past year alone, undergoing and reliving so much trauma. Not ONE explaining or mentioned any of this to me, even though I was describing and exhibiting these exact symptoms. Now I can’t move past this ‘block’ to even find a new therapist. Thank you for these videos
It's hard to find a therapist that works or think like this. I get tired of looking. I'm sick of wishy washy therapists that don't guide you through things like this.
@@dianekmkyeah no trust in therapists here either
Thank you for helping my little 8 year old self that could not move when she was being sexually assaulted. I hated feeling frozen and helpless.
Same
😢
When someone says something especially hurtful or someone corners me I cannot think of anything to say, my mind just goes blank.
I sympathise. The only thing that's helped my personally with this feeling you describe is medication. I have done inner work and made progress but theres an anxiety that you mention that gets triggered and I can identify with what you say. There are Assertiveness skills and social anxiety and trauma (bullying) all have an effect from my experience but the only relief for me from it is what I've described.
Right because I didn't expect someone to come at me the way that they did so it caught me off guard so I froze. I was speechless.
I love all of you in the comments. Thank you for validating me and how real this is.
Omg when you describe the stiffness it rings true. I’d be so angry but my body becomes rigid, my mind becomes rigid and I can’t process through to the end of the anger. I’ve found that developing awareness of what’s happening is the key to breaking the wheel.
Hi can i ask something to u on instagram
I think I’m going through this, instead of getting angry my body just twitches and jerks
I wish I had a therapist who knew about this. I had trauma therapy and we never left the talking stage because I kept dissociating. The therapist thought I was pretending to ignore him or trying to force the session to end. While I wanted to work on processing my trauma so much, because it was and still is disrupting my life every day.
And he claimed to be a specialist.
I haven't had a good male therapist . Just saying. One straight up laughed and made fun of my life.
@innerdem0ns omg that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you!
@@soblue315same thing happened to me too here in South India! ❤ My life story was very entertaining to him, he was laughing and enjoying every bit, did not help me much, charged me a lot and finally told me that I have no future in Indian society, because of my experiences in life!!!
Statistics say there are worse outcomes with male drs
"Patients treated by male surgeons were 25% more likely to die within 90 days, and 24% more likely to die within a year when compared to patients treated by female surgeons."
Also "People treated by female physicians have lower rates of mortality and readmission than those treated by male physicians.
That’s according to research published today in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine."
6:09 Re-engage the body (create movement, pat legs, move arms, stomp feet, shake arms, dance, go a little crazy) 9:05 Train in martial arts 10:27 Work out! 11:08 Practice and Role-play effective responses
Creating a Safe Place Video ua-cam.com/video/Isw37iCwMCg/v-deo.html
It’s key to do these slowly and intentionally 9:02
thank you both for the recaps
Sounds good👌
GO CRAZY GO STOOPID LEGIEHLEGIHLEGIEH
I do this to myself though.
I realize Ive done some of these things automatically, but in a cubicle environment everyone keeps telling you to sit down, stop pacing, stop fidgeting, stop walking the corridors. But sitting down in a chair just adds to the freeze response and eventually my brain will just lock up. Thank for for telling me that what Ive been doing is what is required for me to function when faced with tough deadlines.
I have childhood PTSD. I have to keep moving. If I stop I freeze. It's worse under stress and with people who don't emotionally regulate well. I had to learn how to make my movements smaller or mask them so I looked just like the folks around so I didn't become a target.
Some abusers remind me of wildlife predators, they look for movement and anything that distinguishes you from the people around you.
Being in a cubicle environment with those needs sounds tough. One guy I worked with would pace and stretch a lot. He said it was to get his brain juice flowing and fight off cognitive fatigue. Only worked cause he was an older guy though.
I always had the freeze response when confronted with someone saying something degrading to me in school. I could never think of a good comeback until later that evening while in bed. It seems my first response to anything that would get my adrenaline going was always to freeze, never to run or fight. I still do this when someone yells at me and I become very compliant. I lost a cat this way and it destroyed me because I let the vet who was yelling at me go ahead and put her to sleep without having any time to think about it. For 9 months afterward I cried continuously over her and started thinking that I was an evil person to allow that to have happened. The thing that made me stop crying over my cat was that my youngest daughter committed suicide. All this happened in 2012 and 2013. I could have really used this information early on in life, especially during the 18 years or so that I was continually replaying my childhood traumas in my head and crying every night. I would say my brain was definitely frozen then!
Szusza Webster I’m so sorry that happened to you Szusza.
I hope you heal and start over with your life and feel more free this time.😢
I'm so sorry that happened to you, hope you are healing and doing well. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your experience, it helps others that are struggling as well.
Szusza, I was forced to put my cat down and regretted it. Im so sorry about your daughters suicide😭 I hope you find peace & power to never let anyone yell at you again!
Was your daughter and adult or child? My condolences.I hope you have gotten help to process all your traumas. Blessings to you
I’ve been stuck in this on and off all of my adult life (since my trauma at 18). You are the only one talking about this, no one gets it. I hear, “just get up” 🙄… umm if i could I would! It’s destroyed my career, it can last weeks. Im just so sick.
Edit- awww! I see my comment from one year ago! Always coming back 🧡
How are you doing now Laura? ❤
I agree it's great what she is saying, but she's not the only one talking about it, lots are - look at Dr. David Berceli w Trauma Release Exercises, anything about Somatic Experiencing, and all these people whose names are excaping me at 1am haha
@@rachelsingermacdonaldthanks for sharing info about Dr Berceli , I just tried his exercise and I was amazed how my body reacted. 🫣 thanks ❤
8:00 That reaction of the person coming in is exactly the reason why we nowhadays have so many problems getting rid of the traumas - we're being admonished for doing the stuff that helps, like running, moving, spazing out like children do naturally.
Thanks so much for sharing the tipps, they really help!
This was such a helpful video. I'm an art therapist in Korea and I notice more and more people experiencing freezing response daily and I was trying to put together practical ways to help them. This summarized so well, and I think you immensely!
Here's a tip that helps me a lot of the time: "I'll take care of it tomorrow. It's not now, it's later. Right now, I'm safe."
The false sense of urgency of facing the impending danger is countered to some extent by the fact that the danger is not immediately in the moment but something that scares you and will happen in the future, some hours, days or weeks from now. Luckily, I have a laziness habit and "postponing" allows me to tap into that and calm down. Of course, when the perceived danger is in the present, the other things you mentioned have to be used.
About body-movement, another "peace-time" trick for telling your body there is no danger is listening to your favourite music. I like folk or country music or music videos with funny things in them, as also things that make me feel like dancing. Dancing immediately changes frozen stiff mode into play mode in my case.
Me too, music and dance helps a lot.
How do you go from not moving to dance mode?
I got a tip for you
Damage caused by 4 weeks of a false sense of urgency can often be fixed by 4 hours of false sense of non-urgency.
The right kind of upbeat
Music will get you up from your seat!
I started doing the exercises when you mentioned them, and I just started crying automatically, just by patting my thighs. I have been crying a lot lately, but I think there was almost a resistance to wanting to move. But I am hoping that was a sign it was helping me "unfreeze." Thank you.
Hope you are doing well, We’re like a micro online community all suffering with this same problem, You are not alone
This is so me and so helpful. My default is freeze. First step was realization, and now on to rewiring my response. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. Any updates?
I know this is a super blanket non-trauma informed statement but I hate PTSD so much lol like it has been 2 years of increasingly, and daily, freeze response episodes and constant dissociation and my entire life & support system has suffered because of it. This video was very helpful, thank you 🙏
Yeaaa😢😢😢
I couldn't agree with this feeling any more!! You described it perfectly 😢
fr man..hope youre doing good,, i have ptsd too, i get it
Clawdeena what are you doing here
Emma, in the name of accessibility, it would be helpful to add Closed Captions (CC) to this video. I am hearing impaired and barely able to comprehend the speaker. Thanks for your assistance. Click Settings > click Subtitles/CC > click Add subtitles/CC > select English and proceed. This way, you can reach a wider audience - deaf, English learners, etc. Judging from the first go-around, I like your style of presentation and the abundance of information. And I would like to be able to fill in the missing pieces in the next go-around with the aid of CC.
Hi there, I am currently working on adding subtitles for you and other hearing impaired people who find this video. I'll reply to this comment when I'm finished :)
@@assblaster5000 People like you are a treasure 🖤
Subtitles have been added :)
@@assblaster5000 you are amazing. 💙💙💙
@@assblaster5000 sonix.ai
I started “shaking it out” and moving while watching this and almost immediately started sobbing. Woah. Guess I needed it.
Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for this video and your work. The timing of this tonight…my freeze response had me locked up and going to some dark places a few hours ago. I’m no longer there thankfully. I can almost just start to envision a better future for myself. It feels possible.
It might not be a traumatic experience, it could be an on going situation which keeps you frozen in life.
That can still be traumatic. Trauma is essentially any situation which you don’t have the skills to cope with.
@Unknown Nordic prolonged PTSD is the worst
@Unknown Nordic Not if you have not released it on a cellular level
@Unknown Nordic N.O.T therapy, EMDR, TRT, kinesiology
@Unknown Nordic sorry TRT. Trauma Release Therapy. N.O.T is also very good.
Literally the most life changing thing I have done for myself is implementing intense exercise in my moments of chronic-anxiety -freeze. This is all so valuable. Thank you!
I related to your description of holding emotions in the body. Also, I realize I start to disassociate with the present moment, get stuck in my head, overthink, and procrastinate when something comes up that induces anxiety. I like the idea of engaging my body, and your suggestions are even things I can do find a way to do quickly at my cubicle at work without getting weird reactions.
I’m so thankful that I stumbled upon your video. I was blaming myself for years as to why I would just completely “shut down.” I thought it was just my depression or menopause or the recent divorce and on and on. I felt like I was stuck in a real funk! I went as far as feeling like I couldn’t even do housework or get dressed anymore. I have been troubled by this for going on 10 years. I am slowly clawing my way forward but sometimes I rebound and have to bravely take steps that keep me moving. It’s very hard because I’m alone now but my dog gives me reasons for staying somewhat motivated. I am a faithful Christian and I do a lot of praying. I am very thankful that I am not living on the streets and no food to eat. I hope whoever reads this can realize that this “freeze” response is real but can be overcome. Thanks and God bless!🙏🏻❤️
This is extremely valuable info. I recently had my brain's freeze response triggered (extended full-body numbness and mental haze). I knew enough about Dr. Peter Levine's work to search for a trained Somatic Experiencing practitioner and found several in my area (Dallas, TX). Even just one session helped me know what to do to feel grounded, empowered, and capable of finding a safe container for myself in my own skin. Much love to everyone else doing this work!
You seem really knowledgeable, maybe you could point me into the right direction, if you don’t mind. It seems as if the freeze response is dominant in me. I’m seeing a therapist and he elaborated the plan he is going to pursue in therapy - so I’m really looking for complementary information to help cope me with my daily issues. Whether stemming from trauma, cptsd or what ever I relapsed with social anxiety and some flashbacks from previous physical attacks. I’ve read all the Books from Vessel van der Kolk, to Pete Walker, Judith Herman and so forth. But as Emma stated, once you triggered into fight or flight there’s little you can do. I know from experience (like when I’m Jogging) that movement can break the physical cycle of a freeze response. But what to do when freeze strikes you while walking through the city or sitting in the metro? I try breathing exercises but the attempt to desperately keep calm and focused (anxiety part) makes it worse. So if you or anybody reading this comment could give me some hints I would really appreciate it. I’m kinda stuck on that part...
Having a rule that it’s ok to be anxious and just do the thing - has been something I’ve done all my life without having the words for it. I just did it today and it was just as hard/frightening as the first time. But, if it’s going to help someone, the company you work for, or improve a situation, then it’s best to white knuckle it from time to time.
This information is SOOOOO IMPORTANT and it's sad that this is rarely discussed
Thank you for this video, especially pointing out that actual trained therapists do not know this. It is a minefield trying to get help from a good therapist who understand these things, and not getting re-traumatized simply from therapists themselves who do not understand these things
This video has helped me so much. I never had a therapist even talk about this. I catch myself holding my breath all the time. When something "blindsides" me, that is overwhelming, my brain goes "offline" and it's so difficult to restart my mind. I am happy to hear about going in through the backdoor with exercise and activity. Thank you for this information.
Thank you so much madam l didn't know where l am what's going on after the loss of my daughter today finally l identify l am in freeze response ❤️
❤😢
I soooo needed this! I’ve been stuck in a freeze mode since my job has gotten completely overwhelming. Thank you!
I'm in a freezer mode also
I'm disassociated
Me too!
@@trudyvaccaro1560 hi how are you please reply me
@@trudyvaccaro1560 hi please talk I don't feel emotions feelings with my thoughts
@@faisalbi1330 sometimes when things don't go as they should
I just freeze up stop
I need to continue but it becomes very hard to continue in my state of fear
I'm just learning freeze response has been my go to. I always thought I was fight, but it's actually freeze. It takes a lot to bring me down, I have very little triggers, I overcome all the obstacles in life. But recently, some big changes and loss put me into freeze mode and I thought it was a new response coming from me. But it's not new. It just feels new bc I rarely have to access it. Coming to this realization is powerful. Since the big changes and being stuck in freeze mode, I've since recognized my triggers and traumas that still need healed. I recognize a pattern of freeze mode in my behavior. I want to learn how to change it and/or get out of it when I start feeling trapped there. Or maybe learn how to utilize other coping skills when these triggers come up. Your video is very helpful. Don't apologize for talking too much. I'd listen for hours!! Thank you for sharing!! ❤
This made me realize that I have a freezing problem in some situations and what I can do about them. I didn’t realize what had been happening. Very helpful. Thanks.
I've been struggling with this my entire life and never acknowledged it until I started a job that required me to move my body quickly in order to get my tasks done in time. I feel inadequate all the time because of freeze response, but this video helped me understand that it's a normal response and that there are ways of mitigating it. Helped me more than 6 months of speaking with my therapist. To anyone in the same boat as me -- Chin up! You CAN do this!
I've been suffering from neck stiffness and headaches, & I think this freeze response may be at the root cause of my issue. I really appreciate the content you're providing. Thanks so much; you're awesome!
Same. Thankful that you posted this. I hope the headaches have subsided for you by now.
😢me too chronic migraines and neck and shoulder pain also tmj
Two years ago I left a bad marriage after 25 years and 19 as a stay at home mom. This past year I have struggled trying to find work. Im 57 and trying to survive alone.My fear of becoming homeless is now out of control and I got downsized at work after 7 months and just spent 4 days frozen in bed. I got up today and am trying to function. I realize I need therapy but lost my benefits. In the meantime, I am trying to use all the tools I can find. Thank you for posting this.
It's also about feeling like you can Get Out of the position / room/ situation that you're in-- not just feeling safe. It's being able to re-active that ability to respond as needed-- to be free to move At Will----- while feeling safe in that ability
Aw I can't thank you enough. This method is helping me. I am in a very sad/torturing freeze response. Doing nothing and feeling dead. I didn't know how to end this awful feeling. You helped me. Thank you very much for your words.
Your videos have helped me realize that I’m trapped in this “freeze” response after years of trauma and abuse and feeling very powerless and trapped.
For a while now, everything in my life has seemed extremely overwhelming. I’m having a really hard time doing the simplest of tasks, so things keep piling up all around me, and I just can’t find the motivation to do any of them. I thought it was just depression, but I realize now there’s a lot of anxiety involved, and my brain just keeps trying to shut down to protect me. I’m hopeful that with the wisdom I’m learning from you, I’ll be able to kick myself in gear again and get on with living my life.
I always cry with relief when I watch these videos. I used to have insurance and take advantage of cbt therapy and now, without insurance, I love them to maintain what I've learned. Living in current times with this stuff available on UA-cam for free makes me feel sad for the people before us that didn't have the same access but I'm so grateful for it. ❤
I loved this video! I was freezing from being overwhelmed by over-planning in too many projects for one person. I like the word apprehension when I feel like procrastinating from being overwhelmed. One thing that helped me is thinking of the opposite of apprehension as excitement. It's easy to take for granted all of the opportunities and possible great outcomes of starting. Some people say just simply turn your anxiety into excitement. Using the information you outlined here, that seems attainable. Thanks ❤
Thank you so much for making this. I always thought I was a wierd kid because my mind would shut down whenever I was around strangers. But now I am realising I was stuck in freeze response.
Thank you. I hate feeling powerless and small so often, even the idea of a confrontation with someone puts me into freeze. I’m glad to know a way to kickstart my body into motion again.
Thank you. Throughout a year of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis CFS with autoimmune disease due to unknown possibly covid virus, your videos have helped me so so much. I have so much to overcome and I feel frozen in freeze, physically. Your explanation is healing to the soul. Learning to feel safe. God bless you.
Thank you so much for this video! My first therapist told me my early childhood sexual abuse was my fault because I froze. I’ve always struggled with it since. This was so helpful to hear and makes so much sense.
What an appalling thing ton happen. I hope you are healing.
Yikes, I hope that therapist is not still working as a therapist! What a horrible and ridiculous thing to say.
We have to stop giving all this power to therapists who aren't well trained.
That was a wicked thing to say! No doubt you didn't have the strength at the time to report them. There are some sick 'therapists' out there, using people to project onto.
Your first therapist is a disgusting human being. I hope you're feeling better nowadays!!
Love these tips - thanks for sharing them. It validates the 'freeze' response without shame. I've been told several times in the past talking is the only way to get out of freeze and always hated it because the voice in your head is screaming 'I'm too frozen to talk'. I think many people still underestimate the power the body has to lead the mind
I used to freeze up working at a restaurant as a busser. Probably looked like a deer in headlights. My waiter pointed it out and forced me through it during rush hours lol I spent months before he said I got way better at handling stress. I wasn't even the same person anymore. So I guess got over it through exposure and consciously trying to get better at not doing it. :) I didn't even know there was an official name to it. It's crazy my waiter called it out and even said the words "I freeze in the face of stress" not knowing how close he was to actually naming it! Now I know why I used to do that. This was years ago. I guess there's a reason for everything.
I’m glad it apparently helped and hopefully the people treated you kindly
I have been on the freeze zone for the last 7 years 😮😮😮- You are my confirmation for my prayers !!!
Thank you 🙏
This makes so much sense and I wonder why more therapists aren't aware of this because it would help SO many people who are suffering. I WISH you had some tapes to listen to.....
I've been in chronic freeze mode for 3 yrs. I'm happy I found this video.
Have you managed to get out of it?
I'm a therapist and I find your videos incredibly useful. Thank you
The night my husband was killed in a farm accident i experienced this. I was totally detached and calm to the point of sluggish. There was my inner voice screaming at me from afar off telling me to go through the motions of calling for help, searching for him in the dark, finding and comforting him and doing cpr after he passed. I did everything on some kind of autopilot knowing that I had to give him every possible chance and not being in regret for not doing something that I could have done. It was so crazy trying to whip my frozen body and brain into action. I now find that the response is almost my default mode in times of stress but it gives me a second to think about what I need to do and then push against my stupid brain and body and move💜🙏
I would like to give you a huge hug. You've helped me big time! You're an amazing person and professional. ♡
I did your full body shaking last night, and started crying after a minute or so, amazing release. Thank you so much for ALL the videos, greatly appreciated.
Looks so simple, and you smile so confidently. I've been doing all these things, day after day for a year and a half; and day after day is a living hell with no respite and no improvement.
I know all about the limbic system, amygdala and flight, fight freeze, and the body's response to trauma. I'm an accomplished scientist/technologist/engineer and understand the mechanisms; After having to work it out for myself. Like all professionals we are good at defining the mechanisms of a given problem but that does not necessarily present a solution or a pathway out.
One can feel NO joy or happiness when one's life is urgently threatened. That's how trauma sufferers feel all the time; the alarm bells don't switch off. Along with debilitating shame and humiliation.
I feel patronized when therapists explain trauma to me while offering no tangible direction or steps to find a path out of this joyless hell.
I agree. Today I HAD to take a shower and THAT made me anxious! My body was starting to go into a freeze and I punched at the air as if I was fighting something and my body must of communicated to my brain that there was no threat and I was in control. The freeze went away and I showered. A victory for sure. Try it, you may like it!
I presume you’ve tried emdr. If not, go there immediately. Good luck.
Perhaps this? ua-cam.com/video/jHlQ-kfrqdA/v-deo.html
Hi. Have you looked into the work of Bessel Van Der Kolk? Be had videos on UA-cam. I am currently reading his book, 'Thr Body Keeps The Score.'
For whoever is looking for more solutions... After 30 years of all of this FFFFFF'S I seat down and start asking questions to myself... Why this and why that... base on my problems... I reviewed my doctors recommendations and come to answer that I have been all the time treated for pain but not for healing. Fatty liver... recommendation... don't eat fat... They told me that I have to go on diet and no one told me that I have licking gut and that my body is full with water... That proteins have been broken and don't function properly... Hair lost, edema... And regarding my brain... antidepressants and I have a notebook of time and dates when I feel pain and in which region of my head...
So... all the problems star from the Adrenal glands... When under all of this FFFFFF'S this glands, that seat on the top of our kidneys, start to produce too much CORTISOL
Our live, that have over 500 factions, then start to over work and with the time our body starts slowly to get out of balance and different aliments start to show up.
I have learn about three nerves systems in our body, peripheral neuropathy , licking gut... and once you start looking the algorithm of YT will start to recommend videos in that field... I found Dr Berg and look at Ayurveda and found Nityanandam Shree...
In conclusion... it is not our brain that controls our body... and I have lost so much time trying to understand only the "brain"... but now I understand that the fuel that we give to our brain is VERY IMPORTANT and crucial in our thinking and actions.
Very many blessings to you all.
Ps: all the good to all vegetarians but I am sticking to balance diet.
YOUR SOUL KNOWS
This video is really good. Thank you for actually giving tips without trying to sell a course without giving the tips. All these other UA-camrs don't actually give you exercises like this to help. They just talk about the trauma then say oh you can get this info how to heal if you go to my website and blah blah blah.
I have developmental trauma and I'm basically mostly in a locked freeze response. I just had my first Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy a few days ago to heal these unresolved traumas I have. I want to break free from the unhealthy patterns. 🙏
I too have trauma from a specific event, it affects me a lot now, I can't think sometimes and have powerful migraines. How are you now, did the SE exercises helped you truly release your trauma?
@@Puya008 I've been having weekly sessions for almost 4 months now, and I feel the differences in how I process things especially when I get "triggered".
I learned to start looking on the inside assessing how I truly feel bodily (somatically) and emotionally. It helps create a sense of awareness.. and my anxieties usually manifest through my heart pumping beating so fast and my chest closing in.. and before SE therapy, I only knew how to "rationalize" and calm my brain by trying to stick to my present reality.. which I realized, wasn't really always enough for me..
But with SE Therapies.. somehow, I could say, I am starting to build more resilience in facing my negative emotions (anxiety, anger, fear, etc.) tied to my past traumas by properly processing them somatically.
So, yes, SE therapy has been helping me to release and process my trauma. I have quite a lot and.. healing takes time. ☺️☺️
@@hennuhpi Thank you for explaning how the somatic exercises helped you until now. I'm happy that it helped you manage you trauma better and the corelated emotions with it, like anger. I will look at it too, hopefully it will help me truly release my trauma and just return to my life before. Just trying to think about it and make sense it doesn't work. I wish you a true recovery, and much joy in your life.
@@hennuhpi hi how are you please reply me
@@Puya008 hi how are you now please reply me
Thank you thank you, was completely frozen. After watching this tried the tapping and stomping. Then started crying, which surprised me. Now brain fog has disappeared and was able to continue on with my day thank you angel.
I have this cyclical issue sometimes with freeze. I can feel it or feel it building and then that makes me feel more upset and angry at my body for doing it again. Or I feel distressed thinking it's never going to go away and of course that escalates things even more. My brain tends to then find MORE things for me be upset by. Like: "Oh, and what about THIS thing that made you feel this way last year?" etc.
Sometimes it feels like I am my own worst enemy. Or like my head is doing it's best to make it even harder than it already is. This video is really helpful and the note about saying I can feel anxious and be okay is excellent. Thank you ❤
You are a therapist through and through. A rare breed indeed
I like that Emma is SO positive and optimistic!
Great communicator and easy to listen to. 😊
Can you please make a video about being stuck in fawn response? I grew up in a hyper enmeshed relationship to the point that during the difficult days, I feel like I’m a livestock, whose life purpose and existence is to provide, cheer, and help my mom who had full control of my inner child. I’m never allowed to have an opinion or preference, if I do, I get shamed or called ridiculed. She lived her life vicariously through me and enforced her point of view in everything. I was never allowed to date until I’m in my 30s. I grew up to be a people pleaser but I did very well in education, financial, and job aspects. I rose up quickly in my career..my peers are all atleast 10 years older than me. So I’m this boss young lady who is still a people pleaser, struggles with setting boundaries all the way around,have severe difficulties forming an opinion, and seems to attract people in my life with narcissistic traits.
This is genius! This is more powerful than most people imagine and is actually life changing. There isn’t enough thank you’s that could be generated for this ❤️
After watching several of your videos, I see how none of the six therapists I saw in the past had any idea what they were talking about. I wish you and You Tube had been around in 1969 when I began my search for help for my anxiety and depression.
I feel like this is really complicated by chronic illness. I would love any videos about chronic illness/trauma/freeze response trifecta if you have the expertise to provide them! If not that’s fine, and thank you so much for everything you do on this platform.
Hi how are you now please reply me
@@faisalbi1330 I have good days and bad days but I’ve made a lot of progress!
@@nimrodgrrrl thanks for reply. Do you feeling feelings emotions? Could we talk please
OMG THIS IS ME
Look up Gabor Mate! He's my hero!!!
Thank you for explaining the "freeze response". This helps understand the ability to become mindful of the "response' AND ways to correct/overcome
You are amazing. Thank you for all that you do. God bless 💖
L
I was watching this while I sat outside in the dark early morning having a cigarette.
A gray cat came around the corner fairly fast and stopped to look at me. We were both in the mode. I slightly swayed and bounced my thighs a tiny bit.
The cat walked on, and what normally would have had me shaken up for hours- is replaced with well, nothing! I can proceed with my day, my life.
Actually, I’m a little thrilled that I have a tool to use now, that I can do on purpose. I have been doing it most of my life, but now that I know why, and how to use it, it’s a game changer!!!!!!
Thanks for the little video with the great big message 🙂
This makes so much sense. I often feel to do physical things when overwhelmed and it calms me. Thank you
just watching this video sends me into dissociative mode as it triggers memories of being frozen and a sense of shame and regret at having missed so many wonderful opportunities because I went into locked in freeze mode. I had to keep skipping back to get everything, but the video is full of hope. Thank you.
So important to use our brains in a positive way! 🙏🏼
I wish you were my therapist. Watching this and no idea why I started to cry.
Been in freeze big time since yesterday. Usually it’s not this in my face, so to speak.
I know how you feel, I am going through a very tough time now. Today I was having chest and head tightness. Now I feel numb and lost.
@@chicago9368 so sorry to hear!
@@CianneDoodles hang on we got this
@@chicago9368 so very kind of you. Thank you. 🫂
It is very interesting to see your techniques when you say that we have to move our body to hack the brain's response. I noticed than when I am in an extreme freeze mode, I would shake my legs, foot and toes like, even swing my body to force myself being present in the body and try to ground myself. I always thougth movements sooth me. You just confirmed that I am not doing crazy things 😂
I wish I could find a therapist like you!!!!!
Wow I did not know I had a freeze response - I use fawning behaviour very easily to get out of situations, I didn't associate that with freezing because I have an easy fight response too, now a lot of things make sense and why I feel trapped sometimes! This is great, thank you for highlighting it Emma. I'm probably overcompensating with fight response and blame, for the times I freeze somewhere else.
I’m 75 and as a child I lived in a very dysfunctional family. My parents fought ugly and my dad had multiple affairs he didn’t hide. Mom cried and cried. I froze as a child, shrank or tried to help but to no avail. This adaptive mechanism continued into adulthood. I’m married to a great guy who loves me deeply and I have 2 daughters. I was reflecting for awhile before I found this video about freezing. I wondered why I never felt normal joy at things others do. Birth of a child, I detached. I wanted a baby dearly so why? A wedding, I smiled a lot but didn’t really engage. I thought I learned to detach to protect myself, now I believe it is freezing. Thank you, it all makes sense.
Thank you! Just listening to this helped me feel calmer. So much of my anxiety, is feeling like something is wrong with me or feeling guilty for wanting to interact with ppl less. I’ve had others shame me for the symptoms of my trauma. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m
So grateful for ppl like you. 🙏💝
I recently found this channel. Looking forward to this video as I am one that freezes due to trauma. I want to change it. I want to be different in that area.
You are awesome in these videos because you’re not boring and you treat the problem for what it is- a natural response that is not to be feared. It’s difficult to adjust but it can be done. Thank you!
This has helped a person whose experience has been the absence of help for 30+ years. Encumbering helplessness lacking even momentary reprieve. Only recently have I found genuine actionable techniques. Keep up the successful explanations 🏆
this video is super informative and helpful! thank you!
i freeze a lot in general, i have mentioned to therapists and doctors how i sometimes just cannot move at all and/or simply cannot do things. Things as basic as going to the bathroom or eating or more complex tasks like studying and working... even things i enjoy... And getting up in the morning can be so hard because i just feel so heavy and sometimes i try to move and i can feel my muscles trying to tense up to move but they don't move unless i put soooo much effort into it i am exhausted in the end...
The multiple docs and therapists didn't explain to me why or what was happening to me, and i came to them because of it because it interferes with my life so much, it was very frustrating. But if i am freezing because my brain thinks i am in danger and that will help, it makes sense now! specially because as a child i did physically freeze several times when i was in danger and that did save and help me get through it with less damage than otherwise. So my body and brain must know is an effective measure when i am just stressed or anxious. I will try somd of these techniques ❤️
Also, the self defense training works, i can attest to it. It can even be scary and surprising. After having trained karate for about a year as a teen, this one time my mother came to beat me up after cornering me (which was not unusual and as you can imagine with my previous paragraphs, i usually just froze and let it happen), i automatically blocked her swing, which was terrifying when i realized what had happened, because when i was smaller any resistance was met with even harsher punishment, but now that i was bigger i could see she felt scared i might fight back in her eyes so she got very mad and offended but went away and never hit me after that day... So yeah! self defense works. Is good excercise too.
My freeze response comes when I try to write my personal projects. I have no problem sitting for hours in order to work, but when it comes to myself I totally have a freeze response. This is helping out a lot, thank you
I just wanna say for a second... Thanks so much for making these!
I am in therapy myself right now (CBT for anxiety), but I WISH MY THERAPIST HAD TOLD ME THESE THINGS. Imean... really.
Tbh I kinda felt not understood and CONFUSED cause she kept telling me to "asses the thoughts" and then "do the thing", while I was like "H O W do I DO THE THING when I am more frozen solid than a block of ice?"
Your approach and explanations feel very to the point, yet thorough, and compassionate.
Is it trauma focused CBT?
@@carolynjanesutton4932unfortunately no. That takes a long long waitlist to get into
Great video thank you. I've suffered prolonged harrassment and emotional abuse and believe I've been stuck in freeze mode. Very helpful
You’re so likeable and super helpful. Thank you for sharing these chunks of wisdom with us. 🙌✨♥️
I've watched a number of your videos and each time I am taken with how knowledgeable, compassionate, and empathetic you are. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your work.
This is so relatable! I have frozen a thousand times around a former boss who was probably a narcissist. He was so abusive. Now that I am applying for a new role, I am having flashbacks and feeling incredibly tense about it. He was fired a long time ago, so the threat has passed, but I still have those intense feelings.
Thank you so much for this video. I experience freezing at a disproportionate level when approaching the unknown. I was very adventurous as a child, both mentally, and physically and now looking back see my repetitive, long-term, traumas as a big part of where I find myself today. I'll pursue the strategies you provided as I look to find a good therapist.
A tune plays in m head.
Then I start to move my shoulders and head, move back and forth.
Then I feel the smile start to grow on my face.😊
My...i never imagined that living with a verbally abusive, extremely narcissistic woman would lead to this. Although i thought staying in the relationship would be best for my kids, I now realize I have to save myself in order to save them.
I went thru this with a mentally and verbally abusive narcissist husband, for 20 yrs,I stayed for my kids, then left for my kids. Now in therapy trying to heal, I actually got physically sick, even anxiety induced seizures, brain scan and blood work all showed it to be stress induced physical illness
glad we got out😊