4am thoughts with bo and h
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Instagram: boberrymilkshake
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Paypal: rebeccaehooper4@gmail.com
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Hey Bo & H
Parts of me really resonated with this video. It's honestly so hard to look back on where things started and comparing things to then. The online shift in representation across multiple platforms is quite jarring at times. It's interesting as well that you mention the expectation of creators from viewers. I think the point about stats is very telling as to what the general population want vs long time viewers. They want the fascinating world of DID, the overt alters, or the systems with infighting or alters locked away. And like with many other mental health conditions, people don't want to see the dark parts, the depression. There's an expectation that if other creators can make regular well-produced content that you can too, that you're "making excuses". The unconstructive comments can feel overwhelming I'm sure. Juggling disability, mental health, poverty... The complexities.
I really appreciate the area of this video when you were explaining the sheer amount of things you never learned/ were given the opportunity to do due to a traumatic environment and abusive people because it sheds light on the impacts of childhood trauma in adulthood. While yes, it is possible to learn those things later in life, when it is many things at once, those changes aren't just going to happen instantly. Not to mention the effect some of that might have on alters that are stuck in the mentality of "I shouldn't rely on others for help because I don't deserve help". And of course, therapy could help your complex trauma, but therapy requires money, which requires a job. Leading back to the cycle.
This could turn into an essay. Just want to say this is a really insightful video and it really shows what the impact of childhood trauma can look like. I don't know if it would bring in views, but I think expanding on those points about things you didn't learn as a kid but are having to learn now could be really informative.
Edit: I also don't think people realise how little small youtubers make. Even if you have a video that gets thousands of views, your adsense is what.. like a few dollars. Which yes, that could buy some noodles or a coffee, but the payout threshold will take years
Thankyou guys, i guess you guys know as well as any what its like to look back, the sleepover was 5 years ago, so much has changed.
Your words always mean alot to us 🩷
THANK YOU! Well stated bobo. They act like because they have so many views makes them valid! They dont realize the work and effort to healing and that is to love yourself which is something that DOES NOT come easy because of the abuse and alternative states that take over our lives. This actually made me tear up because this should be your best video viewed! This should be what people look at and see! This is DID every fricken day. To wake up and try so hard to not feel shame or pain. Losing time and hard days of therapy and trying to trust your own self. Telling the struggles and truth! Stay strong you are seeing more and doing more step by step. Of course we fall back and have days you cant even leave the bed. But we still get up and keep going. Be strong young lady dont give up and this is what people need to hear! Not dressing up and wigs and sepurating those alternative states for show. But to talk about them and what you seen and didnt. Proud of you. Also on a side note love was what we needed but it was replaced with losing trust, pain and your talking about your mom is simular in some ways. My mom did my homework so my grades looked better so she could hide us. She would act like the smartest mom in the world at school meetings to hide the abuse and pain at home. I still love her but she failed all 3 of us kids in so many ways. Remember bobo you can love family but you dont have to love how they treated you or raised you. Your the parent now to yourself. Love yourself, be good to you and your alternative states.
I think the tragedy of UA-cam DID is how it turned DID into a branding spectacle for people's UA-cam careers. Instead of being focused on what DID actually is, DID is marketing and branding now. The reason your "Meet My Alter" or "Switch Caught On Camera" videos do so well is because it's what non-DID havers want to see - the exotic stuff. The real 'freaky shit', that's what the market wants. It doesn't want your authentic experiences, it wants the dramatised reality of marketable DID. That's why UA-cam DID cannot be an authentic force or representation of the DID experience, and it never will be. Same for TikTok or any other modern, algorithmised, social media platform.
Cant i just get both?
Learning takes time! Its not youe fault if you werent taught as a kid! Hey its so cool that youve learnt laundry lately!
It does seem like a lot to learn by yourself, and it is, but taking steps like that is a great start! Im sorry youve had to teach yourself now and you feel its later than is ideal but you can still do it, still keep learning at your own pace.
Im sorry if it ever came across that i expected change overnight, i meant it as friendly advice but im sorry if you saw that it came with judgement. Were proud of you for learning stuff now!
I'm so proud of you! This is a humbling video. And I'm proud of you to just be processing. And sharing all the hardships, again. I was devastated to see the DID community fall apart the way it did. And for all of the additional trauma everyone went through. I send wellness thoughts to you and will continue to send them your way. You are not a failure. You are you and that's perfectly okay.
You’re so good with words, it hurts to hear about what you’re going through and have gone through in the past. We see how hard you’re fighting and are proud of you. Wish you all good and beautiful things coming your way.
/ another system
your videos arent the most eye catching, but during my little marathon of your videos ive realized your videos are so so good. sure, while there are other youtubers who make educational content, the content that always most resonated with me is the personal videos, the one where a person jsut talks about their day and such. im sorry you dont get the appriciation you deserve, but know that you matter
This is the nicest comment 😭💖
Proud of you for being able to address issues that are triggering for you. It seems like it might be a good project. I loved your last video. Don't think your hard work didnt go unnoticed ❤
9:07 we understand. We are homeless of three years. Only eat ramen 🍜 lost everyone. 10:49 same!! We had no vaccines. No toothbrush. Nothing. Now we have rotten teeth. People don’t get how hard it is and debilitating DID is!!
Please don’t give up.
We are 33 and need an entire team behind us, just to function day to day things that normal people think… why don’t you know this. Uhhh cos I had a traumatic life from 1-32 years old. Various things. I wasn’t taught either. I’m learning how to love now at 33… and that will take a long time. It took 33 years to find a good psych who cares, believes us, helps us, goes above and beyond. It’ll happen for you all too! It’s hard, but stay strong 💪🏽 the only thing you can do is get thru each day. Day by day.
You always have a friend in us. We have very similar views and lifestyle. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. We don’t offer this to anyone. But I feel a pull to say it. We understand. You’re not alone 🖤 ❤ - Harley
The only person who doesn’t believe in me being a fully functional adult who is capable of handling common day to day responsibilities is… me. I can’t seem to make anyone around me see or understand just how inadequate or lost I really am… I’m 38 and I can’t hold a job. I’m almost completely dependent on my mother financially. She says she doesn’t know what she would do without me… so I stay alive so she’s never without me. That’s my sole purpose. I’m here so a mother doesn’t lose her child and it’s sad because I know that someday I will be without her. And that’s how it will have been meant to be and my purpose will cease to exist. I will likely cease to exist.. and it doesn’t matter who I tell that to. No one believes that I will completely fall apart and have no idea what to do or how to survive. “You’ll figure it out.” Really? Will I? I’ve not figured any of this out yet and that is WITH constant guidance, teaching, infinite love and support.
Anyways… I hear you. I see you and I know you’re fighting to survive. You’re doing it. You’re doing the best you can and that’s enough. There will be skills you may never learn but those things don’t determine your validity as a whole. Society is the individual’s biggest enemy… expecting us all to perform on some standard level that simply does not exist. I wish you all the best and I know there’s a lot stacked against you. You’re still breathing and that is what matters most.
Im so sorry you feel like this, you may not figure it out by then, but you may have someone new to live for 🩷
I'll say the same thing to you that I said to bo.
You are not a failure. You've fought every battle so far and won! Thats pretty effin amazing!
Youre stronger than you think ❤
You are absolutely NOT a failure! None of you are! Its you that has been failed by the people who you are supposed to be there to teach you how to live. You are not the failure.
They are.
Never apoligize for that. Its not your fault. The fact that youre still here and learning everything yourselves just proves how strong you are. Youre literally doing everything for yourselves. Thats amazing and inspirational. Youve faced every battle so far and youve won.
I know what its like to be evicted and not know where youll end up. I was moved too far away from my job and had to give up. I was also moved away from my support network. It fucking sucks and i wish i was closer to you because i would 100% want to help you however i could . Doesnt matter how daft or small it seems , no one should be mocked or met with negativity for wanting to learn life skills and needing help . Again you are not the failure here, they are. You will always have my support . ❤❤
there are a ton of remote jobs available these days, including part-time work from home
Thanks for always being so honest ❤
"Positive vibes only!" But the same people just loooove drama. Don't try to please anyone. You make videos about what you want to make them. I love your miniature things. Also I like to hear about healing, but I'm not expecting to hear like "I started keto diet and was completely healed in a week!".
Thankyou, i feel i see one or 2 comments and just take them way too to heart, they expect me to be fixed overnight
18:33 I felt that.
It is hard indeed to unlearn things and then to start to believe that you’re not a failure and to learn that you’re capable and worthy of love.
I know myself how it feels to be blocked, to feel like anything you do is wrong.
I’m so proud of you for not giving up and trying every day.
Sending love your way
It’s always lovely to see you all. Your feelings are so valid and living costs are so horrible, especially for low income. Can’t imagine how hard it may be to navigate this world as a system with everyone demanding things from you, especially through the internet. The fact you’re reflecting on everything you’re learning is an incredible step. You’re not a failure! Coming on here and sharing your story, the happy or the open-hearted, is a healing step and educating the world. I don’t have DID, but I relate somewhat through my autism and queerness. I too wish I could burn the world, but aside from humans, it’s pretty damn beautiful. All of you is valid, wonderful, and you have nothing to apologize for sharing your truths.
We do ❤ 0:52
Never stop fighting. You are all so worth it!! Sending love and strength xo
I'm so sorry things are so hard and you've been through so much. You have every right to not be ok about it and it's not surprising you're struggling.
I wonder if there are resources to help people learn life skills because, as I think you said in your last video (or maybe I heard it from someone else, sorry, really crappy memory skills) it seems to be an increasing trend for parents to not be teaching their kids important things. And I know it may seem silly but have you tried searching online for things like 'how do I get a dentist for free NHS treatment?' and 'how do you make a bed?' I often end up searching all kinds of things that would seem obvious to most people and I can usually find info out there.
You shouldn't have to do this and it's OK to feel upset, bitter, angry, and grieve in whatever ways you need to for not only what you didn't have in the past but also that you don't have someone to come and step into a parental role and fix it all for you now. It's OK to acknowledge that it's not fair that your only option is to find ways to re-parent yourself, because nobody should have to do that, and I'm sorry that you are in a position where you have to.
It's OK to reject other people's ideas and opinions because, you're right, they aren't there with you in that situation. They aren't privy to every bit of information and they aren't living the situation day in and day out. They would be struggling too if they were
only 8 minutes in but I really don't think it's as much you as you think it is. I have the same problem, hardly anyone knows about my channel and I put so much work in to some of my videos and the views don't even match the amount of subscribers I have (in fact, according to stats, most of the views don't come from subscribers at all. why are they even subscribed, then?) -- and just about nobody ever comments or likes my videos, and over all, from what I've gathered, it isn't me and it isn't you. 1. there are SO many content creators on yt the whole system is probably overwhelmed and it is true that people's interests change over time (some people's more than others, some people's quicker than others, either way, there's nothing you can do about that. You changing too might help and it might make things worse for you- keeping up with trends to "stay relevant" can be quite dangerous in my opinion.) 2. ever since algorithms took over the internet became basically useless. no matter how carefully I tag my videos, what words I use in my descriptions and titles, okay I'm bad at thumbnails- it just never seems to be enough, and I'm convinced its largely thanks to the algorithms. they do not. work. and then 3. big topic of why but in short we're being told that people are looking for shorter more sensational things and that's true on one hand (the bigger topic) but also maybe not as true as the claim says it is, cause I've made much shorter videos to test it, and they regularly DON'T get any more notice than my long ones do, and this probably brings us right back to points 1 and 2. so. in the end, don't put all the blame on yourself. I really don't think it's as much you as you think it is.
Never being taught to look after you or given a toothbrush...of course youre allowed to be upset about that! Its neglectful. 😢 yes its our responsibilty to learn, but that doesnt mean its easy to teach ourselves what we werent taught or even told would be essential to know when we were growing up! I understand this alot, i was emotionally extremely neglected & high masking audhd as a child, but also i was babied in a way that my mum didnt show me how to do fuck all & i lived with her until i was 28 & pregnant & even then she didnt want me to leave. But i did when my daughter was 5 months old. & i instantly realised i didnt know how to do anything apart from care for the baby & myself. I didnt know how to budget, pay bills, clean, cook. Nothing. & id even told my mum i wanted to do stuff like that myself as i got older and she said no you'll do it wrong its easier for me to do it. Not oh yeah sure here let me show you how to put a wash on or make a meal. Lukcily my partner has lived independently before so hes been able to take the wheel & slowly show me the ropes but as im also physically & mentally disabled it sure isnt easy. There is so much nuance to these situations & people dont think of that when they just want to have a go at you for "not being an adult the correct way". Ugh. Like im actually very grateful my parents let me live with them for so long because i couldnt afford to move out, but it doesnt change the other traumas i went through as a child thanks to my mum & that my parents didnt teach me any kind of independence, & im allowed to realise that they should have. Sorry long ass comment.
Like you can actually be grateful to people & still hold them accountable, even if only in your mind, for things they've put you through. You can appreciate what you have in life & still acknowledge your struggle. A very useful thing a past therapist taught me is "2 things can exist & be true at the same time". Like yes this person helped me in this way, they also hurt me in this way.
Bobo I like you a lot and it will get better.
Who admitted to faking DID?
It takes a while to get back to certain youtube stats. There's also sleeper hits. Just because it doesn't have views now, doesn't mean it won't take off! Patience and hang in there.
So what are your prounouns? Are you part of the queer community?
Bo uses They/them and yes! Many of us are queer in some way 🏳️🌈💖
It's difficult for us to comment. we'll try. we find your videos hard to watch as they remind us of what it's like to live as you do only we knew nothing of our N Diversity or plurality or that we'd actually had a fkd up childhood. It's so far outside normies experience they will never get it. That's why they make those comments. You explain things so well here but I doubt they'll understand. The other thing is we feel so helpless. We want to help but we're not in the position to do so. that's as much as I can manage for now. We really hope thing s pick up for you soon.