I’m a Survivor of Sex Trafficking. How Do I Tell My New Husband?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- I’m a Survivor of Sex Trafficking. How Do I Tell My New Husband?
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
Get Dr. John Delony’s new 80 page quick read, Redefining Anxiety here: bit.ly/3pcQsBK
Get a money plan for real life! Start your free trial of Ramsey+: bit.ly/2JcSe6H
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
ua-cam.com/users/JohnDelony?...
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Network (Subscribe Now!)
• The Ramsey Show (Highlights):
ua-cam.com/users/TheRamseySh...
• The Ramsey Show (Full Episodes): ua-cam.com/users/TheRamseySh...
• The Dr. John Delony Show: ua-cam.com/users/JohnDelony?...
• The Rachel Cruze Show: ua-cam.com/users/RachelCr...
• The Table with Anthony ONeal: ua-cam.com/users/aonealmi...
• The Ken Coleman Show: ua-cam.com/users/TheKenColem...
• The Christy Wright Show: ua-cam.com/users/ChristyWrig...
• EntreLeadership: ua-cam.com/users/entreleader...
John calming her down by talking about her husband and the gym in the beginning just shows how great he is at communicating.
Dr. D is a great dude
Dr. D's great, no question.
Side Note: That first-meet story would be great in a movie.
Right? He pretends the conversation went the wrong direction, but he's actually calming her down. Genius
It's a psychological technique where you get someone to change their emotional state temporarily at the beginning of an interaction. Tony Robbins often uses the same technique.
Ikr!?
This poor girl was on the verge of tears at the beginning and you had her giggling in minutes. So sweet
Giggling was a clear trauma sign, it's a defenceman, but certainly can feel good in the moment
Wouldn't YOU be if you were in HER shoes?
Have some compassion for other human beings named women.
@JoDawnNZ Yes, I thought the same thing. Praying for her.
@@LB-uo7xywtf are you talking about?
As a survivor, I had to stop reading the comments after seeing so many people (majority males) saying she is wrong or anything less than for not intially telling her husband about her past. Being a victim of this crime is INCREDIBLY COMPLEX! If her husband would divorce her for not having the capacity to speak her truth, that's on HIM. She did nothing wrong. Big love to the caller! You have survivored what would kill most and for what it's worth, I Am so proud of you. Plus, any other survivors who may be reading this 💚 Healing is not linear.
What comments are you reading? I didn’t see any saying she was wrong
@@hereforthecomments456they may have been moderated out
Sad what happened to her but selfish that she didn't say. It wasn't her fault what happened and if he can't handle it, then he isn't for her
Well said. People can impress these memories for many, many years. Often people with post traumatic stress disorder have avoidance and can't even talk about trauma. It's interesting that you mentioned. These men in the comments having this opinion, It's interesting that they never have this opinion when speaking about men with trauma, for example, Military. It's a double standard
Thank you!!!! It’s not easy to be that survivor
I am a grown man and I don’t cry often. This one was hard to hear. I’m praying for her, and her marriage
Same here. That would be so hard to carry
I have a 14 year old daughter. I could not stop crying dude... 😢
Ditto. Hurts imagining it at all, but much more with a wife and daughter.
Men feelings are valid don't change I was nearly trafficked so I know personally how touchy this topic is😢
I cried the whole time. Poor girl. Every Christian hearing this needs to pray for her and her family
"Is he super good lookin`"
John is so good at bringing people back from dark emotions
My heart went out to this woman as she told her story. I felt for her, but the tears didn’t come until John asked her what her husband would do when she tells him about it, and she said, “He’s going to hug me and cry.” What a man! That’s the kind of confidence every woman ought to have in her husband-the knowledge that he loves her that much!
Huh ? A real man would walk away from damaged goods
@@billymabum3514 A real man would be ashamed that members of his sex could do this.
@@billymabum3514 We’re all damaged goods. If you think you’re not, your damage is pride.
@@VMHCreationsYT men being damaged isn’t the same as a woman who’s damaged. We’re not the same
@@billymabum3514I agree we are not the same, but damage is damage
I was relieved when she said he was dead. I was worried he could still somehow get to her, especially with her calling a national show like this.
The fact that he's dead relieves her husband of the rage that would want to go after him.
@@ivorybow Not necessarily. It's still vicariously distressing.
I was relieved as well. I know it doesn’t end any pain for her, really, but she never explained how she truly got away from the relationship emotionally, just physically. I was wondering what more there was to the story until learning that he was dead lol
@@candace3493yeh but it'll keep the husband out of jail.
I was relieved that he's never gonna hurt anybody else and hopefully burning in hell if God ever exists but I'm also heartbroken that she can't ask the question 'why' to his face. I know because I want to ask my abuser
Dr. Delony is amazing. The way he calmed her down and diffused a possible panic attack was just brilliant.
He made sure she was in a safe place before she began telling him her situation.
I realize he is educated on how to counsel, but he has all kinds of stuff coming at him. Even if he has a paragraph in front of him regarding the callers problem, he still has no idea what the person is going to say.
I love the way he can switch from goofy and making everyone laugh, to getting to the nuts and bolts of the situation and being serious.
He is awesome I just found him! I ❤his advice
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 wow me too, I’ve been on a binge here I feel like I’m almost in therapy because everything he says makes such complete sense
Doctor doctor of what the Dude Looks like he's younger than me and I'm still screwed up in the head what do you know about life in your 30 or whatever he is
I like the way he stops the callers and gets them to slow down and relax . He is very quick to pick up what is being said . He looks like Michael Buble .
I think he's exceptionally good at what he does....trust me, a lot of therapists do NOTHING in a session but still charge you $200 per session
I’m actually more impressed about how quickly he recognized this was going to be really HEAVY than how he diffused the situation. I didn’t see this conversation heading to such a traumatizing escape. I hope this young lady is doing well. There’s a lot of good in the world to counteract the evil.
They literally screen the callers prior ? He knew exactly what she was going to tell him
@@1232lyftor because she was already crying and you can hear that. Omg are you two deaf?
@@marki57686 they screen the callers . No amount of name calling is going to make you correct.
@@marki57686he's not wrong at all though
They have to submit the emails in advance.
I can’t speak for all men here obviously, but if I was her current partner it would break my heart that she had been through this. I would completely understand that she hadn’t told me and I would be so so proud of her for getting herself out of that situation.
I was abused and trafficked as a teen, barely 18. I didn't meet my husband until i was 30 after years of bad decisions/relationships and then finally a lot of healing. I told him i was hurt sexually when i was younger. And then slowly as i felt i could or if i became triggered. I would tell him more and more. After about 2 1/2 yrs he knew most. Knew what he knew without all the gruesome details that i didn't want anyone to ever know. I have now been married for 11 yrs this month. I still get triggered at times but it got less and less with his acceptance, love, and kindness.
I’m a sex trafficking survivor. I told my husband about 6 months into dating and he didn’t care. He proposed 11 months into dating. We have been married about 2.5 years, and we have a few issues, especially with our sex life, but we are working on them. I ended up with complex ptsd and a bipolar disorder.
Thank God he wasn’t one of those guys that’ll throw your trauma in your face and treat you worse…
@@a.b.2405 he grew up with drugs, shitty parents that abandoned him for half of his life so he basically had to raise himself, he also had his own baggage to bring into the relationship, and we understand that our pasts do not define us.
Why would he care? You got trafficked!. Its not your fault.
@@purplelove3666 you’d be surprised
@@purplelove3666 why would he care? You'd have to be an ignoramus to not understand how difficult it can be for the partner to accept these things happened to the person they love.
Sex trafficking should be an automatic life sentence.
I had some family trauma and I saw an awful counselor who looked at me and said “so what to you want me to do about this?” I was shocked and I said I didn’t come here for you to solve my problem, I came here for help in how to cope. What a jerk. I left there feeling worse than ever.
I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤
Wow 😢 that counselor sucked
And you moved on!!! Knowing no help there..,
@@Somethinglikethat2023
I wanted to report him but I didn’t, don’t know why but I did tell my primary doctor not to refer him anymore. I think he needs to retire.
I hope you received the help and support you so desperately needed. So sorry this happened to you. ❤️🇨🇦🙏
John, the level of empathy you showed her is commendable.
I'm a survivor as well. My heart is totally with you! That's exactly how I got out, too! I escaped. I ran away while the person was passed out. I ran into a gas station and hid behind the counter and waited for the police to come. It was the scariest moment of my life. This NEVER leaves you. But we can heal and use this for good to help other survivors. ❤❤❤❤
I hope you are OK now 🙏🏿 ❤️
God blessed you to get out of that situation
You're so courageous! May life be good to you in the future.
Wow. Being a high school science teacher for 20 years, now I’m thinking about all my students (always girls) who were overly apologetic. Some that would start every sentence with the words, “I’m sorry.” I’d naively think and say to them that they have nothing to be sorry for… I’m not scary, ask your question and I’ll re-teach “x” to you. I’m actually crying for them and any trauma they might have been living through.
This is an American cultural response for women. It is learned at home and through watching other girls and women behave this way. Guys rarely do this. If you find one that does, THAT would be a stronger indicator of abuse. Because 1 in 4 women have experienced some degree of sexual assault (groping, unsolicited sex-related insults and comments, date rape, etc) by 15, you cannot tease this out on one behavior.
@@Cathy-xi8cb the stats on how many women are sexually abused in the USA is high. And then those who are verbally or physically abused, it is likely those girls who over apologize it’s a survival mechanism. If enough people are doing it, I guess you can call that “culture.”
I always started every sentence with "I'm sorry". Never sexually abused. I was way too empathic of others emotions because my dad was always yelling. So probably verbal abuse.
@@Cathy-xi8cb It's not just in American culture (I'm Irish). Women/girls are told that they should act humble and be polite. I find myself doing this all the time 😭
I've heard that before from me and others the "I'm sorry."
2:04 Dr John is epitome of sweet dad energy: easing the tension and making her laugh even she’s still crying a bit.
Sending my love and prayers to this woman. I'm also a survivor of sex trafficking. My own father trafficked me to two of his buddies. I was about 12 years old when it started. It's so difficult disclosing this to partners because a lot of them just don't want to deal with it, so they'll invalidate you, tell you to get over it, they wind up being just as bad. I hope her situation has a positive outcome and she lives a life of happiness with her husband. She deserves peace.
I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. My heart goes out to you, and I hope life gets better for you.
This interview made me CRY. Poignant, realist, sad and still so raw...
I am not a religious man but I pray for Liz a strong, resilient amazing woman.
The diffusion of the tension by John at the beginning was a masterclass. Thank you.
Jcl, it's about relationship, not religion
She sounds like such a sweet & broken woman. I hope she has found comfort and peace in her husband and in a therapist. 💙
Victims are told. We are selfish. We want to share the abuse we suffered with others. How dare we. We should keep it to ourselves. I know. I was told that. By my abusive family. They control everything. You are not selfish. I am not selfish. All I want is accountability. How is that selfish?
Exactly, and it may take a while to learn "how" to trust others because some will pretend to be loving and give you space so you tell them of your trauma only to have them weaponise it against you later. This is what happens to SA survivors every time they hear someone preach about what women should wear or that they should be nice or any other beliefs that are pushed to set girls up to be easy prey for abusers.
Some people are POS. Try to stay clear of these sorts of people, as they are most likely the selfish one, not you. Good luck.
Wow thats crazy.. well its not your fault, you take as long as you need to health and ppl are stupid
I'm 4 min in and the way you speak and calm her down... i'm crying loudly in my living room. what a great man you are.
I pray that her husband and parents will support her recovery 100%. Her journey will be tough but love and respect for this brave lady is what she needs. ❤🇨🇦🙏
It’s touching that she was not only so gutsy, but made sure her dogs were ok and told people the situation.
Delony is a prince among men. The amount of empathy and awesomeness in this convo is crazy.
Sharing what happened is beyond difficult. My husband and I were married 35 years before I told him I had been sexually abused and actually kidnapped by a man that I babysat for. There is more much I have never told anyone
So sorry this happened to you, Lisa. I hope you got some serious counselling. This was not your fault and you can talk about it if you feel safe. You must be one strong lady. Saying a prayer for you. ❤️🇨🇦🙏
@@mmmmlllljohnLovely reply however most counsellor are useless.
@@GailOwens True enough - I hope she finds a good one.
@mmmmillijohn Speaking from personal experience with a family member, I believe most counsellors choose that profession because they have been through something that required counselling themselves.That often makes them good counsellors, even though they might still have their own demons, and other times they just aren’t the right fit for a patient. It’s not easy
I’m so sorry. You are incredibly brave. I hope you find/found healing.
Deloney is a prince among men. Never in a million years would i have the wisdom and guidance to even think about handling this call even half as good as he did.
One thing this got me thinking is: how many other women in the sex industry got there because of similar abuse and were never willing, and because if that, just seem to be willing (and it's a part of their survival to seem to be).
My heart goes out to anyone who is s3xually abused or trafficked.. this was a real tear jerker. I pray for your healing.
Dr. DELONY... you are a gift from God for what you do! Thank you. ❤
She’s so strong for being married, if I went through something like that I would never trust a man again
Exactly what I was thinking…
Never trust a man period. Always be ready to leave any relationship
@fdsqueen5375 with that attitude you should remain single
you should never trust people 100% trauma or not !
A man? What then you went through something since toddler till 20s? I don't trust any human being. Even if it's not to that extreme at age is so damaging I guess idk maybe it's my head and I over react or I deserve idk
I am so proud of this young lady for having the courage to leave that guy! And I am so glad she called you.
I had some trauma that I disclosed to my fiancé, it took him a while to open up to me about his (he has PTSD) but I always was supportive and told him, “do NOT shield me from anything, if im gonna marry you then I need to know all of you, and I will love every part of you, even the parts you dont love” whatever you went through made you who you are today and you are stronger now! Be proud of yourself.
So true and succinct❤
I was in her husbands shoes. I knew things weren’t right, but never knew to this extent. Hiding it, even just early on, has made everything so much harder. Even 9 years later, literally in this very moment, it’s a whirlwind of unintentional pain in all directions. Tell them sooner, it will save your life, the alternative is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
From your perspective & experience, it is totally understandable to expect and want full disclosure from your partner.
But we're flawed humans and we're all a little or a lot, broken by past experiences outside our control mentally, emotionally & physically and sometimes one is not ready or strong enough to break the psychological conditioning imposed upon survivors in order to literally survive.
I hope your situation improves and that you try your best to maintain an empathetic perspective.
I can’t help but think it was selfish for her to keep this from her husband, since before getting married. I feel like she was only thinking about what she would lose and how it would affect her, rather than be selfless and loving enough to respect that her husband (then boyfriend) may not want this for himself.
@RPC P5V18 it's challenging to say it's "selfish," but I agree that this should have been disclosed before marriage. Reason being, like you said, not everyone is prepared for a lifetime of what it takes to love and support a survivor of major trauma. And it can cause more pain when you're harboring that pain, it always comes out unconsciously, and the other person can be insensitive because they don't know. But they're already married now, so hopefully they can go to therapy together and heal
Dang
❤❤❤
It’s unfair to call it selfish because that entirely dismisses the extreme difficulty of how hard it is to disclose something as traumatic as this is and how painful it is when you speak of the events and how she relives the trauma. That isn’t some easy thing that she delayed on because she was self interested and selfish. It’s also reasonable to be scared that someone you have trust in and love with will abandon ship once they’re informed about it. That’s fair for the person to do because they’re not required to stay but it’s an entirely reasonable fear to have and would be extremely challenging. That being said I do think this is something that should be discussed before marriage because I do think marriage should be entered with full knowledge between the parties but I have empathy for her and how difficult this entire thing had to have been for her. As John mentions with the things people adapt into doing when they’re trafficked it’s extremely easy for people not in the situation to say what people should be doing in these scenarios and sadly they dismiss the difficulty of it
My story is similar to hers but I’m not married. I had to escape and run away like that too. If you haven’t been through a situation like this, it’s hard to comprehend being in fear of your life in this way. Knowing that if the person catches you, you could end up dead. It really changes you as a person. I’ve never told my real story to a single soul. Unfortunately for me, my trafficker and abuser is still alive and being released from prison soon, so I’ll be “scanning the room” for the rest of my life, basically.
Get a dog taser and gun learn self defense
You're worth getting well. Please get help ❤
Same. 💔every time I hear on the news someone died in the city he lives in, I secretly hope it was him. That’s messed up. But it’s true. Bc then me and my family wouldn’t have to live knowing he might show up any time.
Sorry to hear, bless you
Praying for you
As a woman who went through domestic abuse, it was so amazing to hear how John talked to this woman (who went through WAAAAAAYYYY worse than me). He’s such a good dude
It would break my heart to know that my spouse or child was carrying a weight like that and didn't trust me to love them through it.
Mmmm I would have nothing to do with you... Explaining trauma might retraumatize the victim if they're not ready... Is not about trusting you, is about being ready
@@3CulosGordos Its still valid for them to feel hurt.
@@3CulosGordos if you are not ready, dont step into a relationship again...plain and simple
I feel like her parents dropped the ball with their parenting and she doesn't trust them. There's definitely a lot that we don't know about her childhood that led into her situation.
@@3CulosGordos you clearly haven't learned a fucking thing watching this show. Secrets are the root of all evil.
I want to hug this woman so tightly. God bless her.
If I wasn't ever convinced that you are a fantastic therapist this call just further convinced me.
So proud of this caller! Hugs!
Prayers for this woman 🙏🙏🙏 and for all of us who survived SA 🙏🙏 Sending prayers and hugs 🙏🙏🙏
This is one of his best calls. I don’t always love his approach, but this one was perfection.
You guys saying she should have told him before marriage are just trolls. Things that are traumatic you have to walk through at your own pace. The fact that she is at a point now that she even reached out is amazing.
These trolls have no empathy at all…
@@a.b.2405 its not about having no empathy.
Its about not being open to your significant other, not telling WILL effect the relationship. No one is forcing them to tell anything. But a relationship is build around honesty and things you deal with....if you arent ready for that, dont go into a relationship
BS
@@justinnaarden9290 yes but that's like saying you should divulge every single thing on the first date so that they know everything before getting into a relationship. Things unfold the way they do, it takes longer than a lifetime to truly know another person. Let alone know yourself.
@@Grace-db1ix Why are you using the first date as an example???
Saying something in the first couple of hours you meet someone, or saying it after years and years of being together only to then spill out on very valueable information for your partner is just two different worlds aint it?
honesty is always the best policy.
Dr. Delony is a gift for so many people with complex personal issues. He is valued to humanity.
Dr John is soooo incredibly wise. The way he saw immediately how heavy the conversation was going to be, and he distracted her and helped her refocus on her joy and her safe person to help hold her hand in strength so she could re-ground herself enough to tell her story... Damn. What a chef's kiss of a man to have the ability to perceive and intuitively respond in such a tactful way. Bravo.
Not that easy. Your life is threatened, you’re frightened and feel powerless. My first husband was so controlling I couldn’t do anything without his ok. I was beaten and hospitalized multiple times for being disobedient. I told my mother but she blamed me. My dad would have killed him if he knew. So I pretended everything was ok. Covered injuries with makeup and excuses. It’s not your fault. Just get out. I suffer from PTSD but my husband is loving and supportive because he knows what I went through.
One of the most touching John Delony episodes I've ever listened to. I thought this would be 30 minutes of traumatic venting, but John's interjections were so well timed and helpful to the listeners and the caller, like at 13:20
It's been a tough tough tough emotional battle. She is an exemplary woman, ready to divulge the entire truth now
Sending my prayers to this beautiful women on her journey to healing. She’s so powerful and deserving - we could all use this reminder. Thank you for Dr. Delaney for extending her so much grace and love during this difficult call. 🖤
This is what the psychiatrist told me!!! You are fine, you are over it otherwise you will not be able to talk about it, you can choose what to think about so don't think about the past.
Eff youuuu!!!
Thank you John for validating my feelings too
Unbelievable! If it's not too late, do consider reporting him.
Liz doesn't talk about her body or directly what happened until she mentioned the burn, and that therapist missed the removal from herself is how she stayed calm. Abused people can tell the most horrible things with no emotion because there is a wall between them and their bodies as long they are saying I was SA'd but the minute you confess to being held down for it the panic almost stops your breathing.
I did 12 sessions of EMDR throughout one year and it was lifechanging - its hard while youre going through it but I swear by it
When my husband and I were getting licensed to be foster parents, we had to do a personal history report.
That was the first time I told my husband about my childhood SA. It was rough....on both of us.
I'm 51 and just starting EMDR. I'm hopeful that I can get past the automatic responses and finally be able to have deep personal connections.
John handled this call well. I sure pray she takes his advice and gets the help she needs.
And
Some people just suck.
I tell the 4 kids in my carpool almost weekly "____ is fighting a battle you know nothing about." Which is a great way to teach empathy. They can all recite the quote and understand why making fun of or picking on someone for their differences has no place in their lives.
Good for you. Wtg parent
Dr John’s wife is one lucky woman. That’s all I’ll say.
I saw his wife on his show and I think she helped him get to where he is today … and vice versa. 😘
You are so brave for sharing. I am praying for your healing.
It’s such a blessing that she found someone and got married.
Not for him. Would be nice to know before he married her
Jckarla, I'm grateful that she found herself. We MUST NOT abandon ourselves in a relationship!
@@BenJamin-jc4jmanyone who would regret being with their partner because they experienced something like this in their past is a terribIe person. A True love would understand how horrible her experience was and be there for her, instead of getting upset
@@botanicalitus4194 no they are not, and she bears some level of responsibility in this situation. If he still wants to be with her after hearing the truth, that is up to him, but to not tell him prior to marriage is a low selfish act. I hope he divorces her when he finds out.
@@BenJamin-jc4jmyou are terrible person😡
On the behalf of the survivor community, we are so proud of you ❤. I survived domestic violence and sexual trauma, it’s a constant battle every day to heal but I keep remembering I’m out and I survived. I was careful to select my circle though in who I tell because sometimes people don’t believe you and they don’t understand.
Proud of you caller ❤
I love how John calmed her down by changing the subject for a while ❤️❤️
What a brave woman. I'm so sorry, Liz, for what happened to you. And I salute you for having the courage to take action and leave.
John took a really roundabout way to make her feel comfortable in conversation before he made her go into the details. Real pro move and one of the reasons I love this show
This guy is a true professional. Knows how to navigate around sensitive issues and calming his patients / callers.
This poor girl. She doesn’t need to do this alone. My daughter is 20 and I would bear this burden for her if I could. But for sure I would bear this burden WITH my daughter. If her mom and/or dad are trustworthy, she needs to tell them. They can be part of her healing. And her husband - if he’s a man worth being married to he will do ANYTHING for her. Including helping her bear this pain. She is amazing and she is worth it. She’s worth it.
What the councilor told her is absolutely disgusting.
I went through the same thing.
When i finally reach out for help. All im told is. Don’t worry. Your fine.
I had a doctor tell me I was "fine" after I was hit by an 18 wheeler! I reported him immediately.
You rock Dr John. I know many counselors out there somewhere who would have labeled this poor woman with a personality disorder based on a silly questionnaire they gave her before the first interview and essentially somehow blaming her for this. She doesn’t deserve any shame, insecurity, embarrassment, or fear that she won’t be accepted or will be judged or will be ostracized from others or will be rejected bu her husband and others who are in her life that she is hiding from unknowingly. Bless you dear caller.
You know many counselors like that? How is that?
@@kellyeverett - There are a lot of them quick to label women with "BPD" and not trauma survivors.
@@kdphotos4691 that’s true
Dear dr.john delony the way you talk to people makes you fucking amazing!
The Doc is super kind, friendly and understanding. Very sensitive too
Happy for you that you had the strength to move away and that you married a good person. I hope you have a good life. May our creator bless you in both lives.
She told her husband a lot already and he was accepting. As a VICTIM she is entitled to not be pressured into reliving her nightmares until she feels she is strong enough. That can be traumatic in itself and it doesn’t fix itself overnight. If her husband loves her, like I’m sure he does, he will walk with her through this. She doesn’t owe anyone an apology for marrying him- there is clearly so much love there already and she felt SAFE with him ( that’s a BIG deal). She’s doing the right thing now by asking for help. Not many have that strength and no one has the right to say she “should” have done this or that. You aren’t in her shoes. If her husband decides he can’t handle it, HE isn’t worthy of her love and hand in marriage. Not her. She isn’t tainted goods. She is a human being and I’m so proud of her.
People who haven’t been through trauma or are close with someone who has experienced this level abuse just think it’s that easy
Yea she is exemplary
I'm not saying it's wrong that she didn't disclose this before marriage. I should've disclosed more than I did about my childhood abuse before marriage. Nevertheless, premarital counseling is exactly the place where this should be disclosed to your future spouse. To anyone looking for advice on this topic, take it from someone who did it the hard way...disclose it to your fiance before you say your vows.
@@LtGrandpoobah As a survivor of abuse myself, I can assure you, people need to do this when they are ready. Trying to get someone to disclose this before they are can only lead to further trauma. Simply because what you’re saying is true for you, that does not make it true for everyone else. Every relationship is different. A person needs to listen to their heart on this matter, and follow it, not the opinions of others.
@@ravenestrella2310 Truth isn't relative. If a person isn't ready to disclose their abuse to their fiance in (or before) premarital counseling, then they're not ready to be married.
Brilliant advice. It’s been 20 years since I left my very abusive ex boyfriend and several of these things are still pinging in me.
Good luck to this sweet lady 🌺
I like that he always calms the caller down by making them laugh
Wow. Heavy stuff. God bless you Dr. John Delony for helping this woman to start on the healing road. You are awesome and Liz is a brave woman to have taken the steps she already has.
Delony, you’re a living legend! I wish o could have a 1 on 1 with you in person, because you rock, man!
Dr. John displayed pure excellence in this call. He always does.
This is so well done. I'm not married anymore, but I am on the other side of my own similar experiences. Learning to love myself as much as I love my kids has been hard. I love that he explains the mindset of someone being abused to the listener so people can be more aware of how hard it is to get out, and how he then changed the conversation from what she feels she owes her husband to what she actually deserves herself (healing, unconditional love, etc.) I hope she got that and then some.
Dear Liz. :) I want to thank you for doing something which I hope inspires and encourages so many women out there in a similar situation to open up. I applaud you and I hope you have amazing and incredible people to walk by your side. By the way, to your husband, I pray that he will love you as Christ loves His church. That he will love you, cry with you, and hold you to let you know that despite all of that he is in love with you. I'm sure to an extent he may apologize for not having showed up earlier, but he will be so proud of you and love you for honoring him by sharing with him the most in depths of your heart. You're an amazing woman, role model and wife! Good job :)
Praying this precious woman. I hope she heals through this. ❤️🩹
I have great respect for the wonderful work you are doing, Dr. John. God has blessed you . When you said people who have experienced trauma tend to develop "super powers" to cope and survive...that hit me and made total sense. I now can see and understand, with myself, my family and friends that the 'strength' they exhibit may be a coping survival mechanism.
Thank you.
Dr. John you seriously amaze me every time I listen to your podcast or watch your videos and I hear crazy life stories and you always have THE BEST advice to give, you don’t ever not have any advice to say! Thank god for you 🙏🏼 prayers for Liz! 💓
I also want to say … I stopped and prayed for this woman . God saved you and will continue to because he loves you .
Liz, you're incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing and helping other people know that it can get brighter. Best wishes!
thank you Liz for sharing your story, it might help people who is in the same situation you were in.
I ❤ this show. Dr. John is an amazing person and knew how to handle this situation. On a second note aside from the victims of this horrific crime anyone involved in sex trafficking should be charged with a capital crime and expediently prosecuted and wiped from the face of the earth
I really think those type of people should get the death penalty. Like for real.
This should include the men that are the buyers. They don’t care that the girls/women they’re ‘renting’ could be trafficked. Men don’t care about this when they watch p**n.
@@mickmash-5192 Very true. I've also read of men having sex with women who had a lot of bruised on their body, others who beg them to go to the police. They ignore their cries, have sex and leave.
Liz, hoping you find peace and healing in your life. It took such courage to share your story.
Liz, thank you for sharing your story and help us all better understand what abuse looks like and how it can happen. I do hope you write up the counselor. I mostly leave people be but wow, John's right. This counselor needs to be notified to the boards and have them look into his/her treatment of clients. He or she is indeed hurting people and prolonging their treatment by shoeing them off.
You are so compassionate with people. Grateful for you, Dr. D!
Everyone should only have compassion for this brave young lady. God bless you and keep you safe. You are more than worthy of the wonderful husband you have and I’m guessing he feels so lucky to have you. And when I say you, I mean all of you and that includes the hard stuff, you have experienced something awful and came out the other side capable of love! That speaks to how wonderful I’m guessing you are.
You are so amazing Dr. John. You have such a wonderful way of mixing seriousness and “hey, I am so sorry…” with helping the person on the other side of the call feel comfortable enough to laugh. It’s honestly such a beautiful talent. You are a blessing to so many ❤
Dr. John you are amazing. More than just a brilliant conversationalist and listener. He articulated the real catch-22s of this situation in a way I've never heard before.
You sir are very good at helping to get through the fear and nervousness in a person. Providing that safe space and comradery. Excellent. It's exactly what a person needs in a situation like that.
Really well done call.. in every way. Dr.Delony found a way to break the tension at the beginning, to be supportive and give great advice, and even to explain the situation further to the audience to lessen any judgement. Really great work.
John is such a wise and compassionate man. Such a warm and beautiful soul.
What a brave Woman! She went through stuff many powerful people can not even imagine.
I am so glad you were strong enough to get yourself out of that nightmare situation. I wish you happiness and peace in your life. God bless you ❤
OMG I'm Bawling. My heart goes out to you sweet and BRAVE soul! You have come so so so far.
Doesn’t have to be a life or death situation for me to understand her not leaving her dogs. I would never leave my dog. They’re a life commitment just like children. She didn’t leave her dogs in the same way you wouldn’t leave your children.
Masterful work making her feel comfortable and calming her down by joking around.
John is just a master. Such kindess, such ability to get the traumatized caller comfortable. What an angel.
I really appreciate you and the way you listen, share, with this woman. Kudos to you. Thank you
My heart just breaks for this woman and what she's been thru. The complete bravery she has.