I was really sad and getting upset listening to her panicked call. I am really glad you both jumped in to help this person. Being stuck in a toxic and abusive relationship(in any form) is really scary and we all need help to get out sometimes.
I’m a 911 dispatcher, and these domestic violence calls are not only the scariest calls I deal with, they are also the number one most dangerous calls to police officers. As much as I hate picking up those calls, I am also glad the victim is reaching out for help.
YES!! Thanks to the Nurses, Drs. Everyone that works for hospitals… And for the ones who get you there.. Dispatching is the 1st point of call.. THANK YOU
I don't care what anyone says about Dave, to take a distressed woman of domestic violence and guide her through this situation has earned my respect and I hope yours to!! He took the role of a man, a husband, a father, a leader and a man of God.
A man of god doesnt shut the doors of heaven. Jesus and the prophets used the LAW to bring people to Christ through faith. But the rest i dont disagree . But the book of james explains that those who do the law should live in them; and if u fail in one then your guilty of all
@@theunjustservant9220 okay... What is it the part that you disagree with? Having trouble understanding the theology of your reply to the context of the situation that took place of the show. Thanks! :)
I was impressed how calm and methodical he was which is incredibly important to not cause escalation. Hats off to Papa Dave. Wish more people had fathers like him
This girl owning her own home and having a good job was a dream come true for this guy. He got her with a baby. Now he took over. He felt she wasnt going anywhere and he could contol her. I wouldnt be surprised if when she sold the home he didnt demand half the money. Ladies take it from a old gal who has see it all walk away while you still can and dont look back ever!
Exactly!! Don't stay, hoping it will get better. If he's going to get better, he can make those improvements without you there. Then, you'll see the proof and can make your decisions objectively.
Thats why all of my uncle advice to never let a man took the lead of the house you own. My mom is one of this victim. She bought the house under my dad's name and she messed up when my dad sold it to buy mistress a bigger house. If you are an outstanding lady, you need an outstanding man that matches you.
I’ve been there.. my heart goes out to her. This situation will make you walk in circles with no idea how to get out, your brain freezes😢 I hope she’s ok
This was a really hard call for me to listen to. I broke down into tears as a 46 year old male, married 25+ years, separated for two years now. My wife accused me of being abusive to her but not our kids, it was the most horrible year of my life. If she would have called Dave, she would have sounded the same way that woman did. I felt for her, I believe her yet in my situation both my wife's and my therapist didn't see things the same way my wife does. It's sad either way
An abuser can make you believe you're too weak and stupid to live without him. Nothing is further from the truth. There are place women can go to be safe . The Police should know where these places are. God bless you...
Being a victim of domestic abuse while women is horrible. Now imagine being a male victim of abuse. It's sort of like being a female victim except no one gives a shit , there are no resources, no one will help you , and your abuser doesn't go to jail
This brings back all the trauma to someone that has been abused. She needs to run! She is so scared. I want to tell her leave and never look back. Life will be better. You and your son deserve better.
I'm a survivor also took me 16 yrs to escape. The people that say I would do this or that have no idea what mental abuse does to you it never goes away
@@kathytew4698 My Mom couldn't get rid of her ex-boyfriend after awhile. He would find us if we moved. He would just break into the place if we weren't home. The Police wouldn't do anything to help us and neither would the Landlord. Our extended family members didn't seem to care. All the Landlord had to do was prove that he wasn't on the lease and the Police would have taken him away. She had to move to another part of the country to get away from him. The only reason why she dated him was because her friend told her to give him a chance after she told her that he looked like a creep. Well, my Mom called it right. Some friends need to mind their own business.
Yeah, she probably does not feel comfortable. Knowing that if the police do not arrest him he could easily come back and do something terrible to her and the baby or both of them.
@@clayhealey8428 That’s what I did..I had secret plans to leave him in the middle of a planned night. I packed my car and my cats and left my house where I was being watch and reported back to him. I moved to another state where I lived with my family for a year and started my life over…These women that are in domestic violent relationships have to realize that if you do not completely sever ties with these evil men they are pulling the whole family and with the drama which isn’t fair for them… fortunately this woman had a house in her name and a good income. She just needs to grow a backbone and really understand that true honorable men don’t treat women like that and kick him to the curb. But to realize that you have to go through a lot of counseling and want it! Unfortunately women who tolerate these types of men have something in the background that makes them want to or tolerate it, which I did and got counseling for.
@@regulus8319 The only way he can be arrested if She has visible Bruises or if he will not leave the house. In my case I took him back over and over and over again which hopefully won’t happen to her and she can get on with her life but she’s going to have to install a really good security system in her house and maybe learn how to shoot a gun for protection…I opted to leave the state and keep my Whereabouts secret as long as I live and only put my drivers license address in my families address
@@BeyondTigerMilk wait do you actually think every other country has doctors delivering babies for free and that’s why it’s cheaper in every other country!? Lmaoooo
Yeah, that was pretty creepy, wasn’t it? This guy definitely has some sort of weird dungeon in his basement. You can just tell. I bet he’s holding multiple women captive in his house, and making them call him “Doctor.” He’s a sick person, for sure.
It's true. You can't think straight. I was abused by violent ex for 16 years. I nearly lost my mind & I was suicidal. It took forever to see what was happening.
It is terrible. I was like a scared rabbit around him, and my poor brain was completely scrambled. I finally fled and went into a womans refuge. I stay in my home now, and I do not interact with anyone but 4 family members. 😁
This is so wrong for you stay...you are smarter than you think and stronger than you think. Emotional abuse will affect your son. @@DisabledAussiePrepper
Gosh, im happy he was removed from the property. I was so nervous for her. Ive been in that spot and sometimes the police show up and dont remove the aggressive person. People violate restraining orders, stalk the victime. Its so scary. I didnt want to open the door or leave my house. I hope her family shows up for her. Thank you for what you do!
I'm so glad you got out. I know exactly what you mean about the police. I was I a DV relationship and he'd held me for days in the house and I thought he's going to kill me so I opened the window and just started screaming and someone called them and they kicked the door in and found him trying to push me out the third floor window. Do you know how long he spent in jail? One night. Then he came straight to my house but I had male friends there who are real men and they told him if youbtouch her again your going in a bin upside down with 20 hopes in you and the only reason your not is because she asked us not to but you touch her again and she doesnt get a say. He went and packed his bags and left. They hurt females because they're cowards and when a real man fronts them out they crumble. He ended up homeless and then went to prison and then into a shelter when he got out where he died from a drug overdose and finally I knew I was 100% safe.
@@Lizzie-h3jWow! What a story! My heart was beating fast while I read it & you know why. It’s the PTSD that stuff gives you when you go through it. I know you, because I was there, too. You are not alone. I pray you have healed…❤ 🙏🏻
I was abused. I still have damage. I've had issues, surgery. Etc. He said it wasn't abuse because he didn't "hit" me. I guess pushing someone down steps is a freebie? Thrown across a room? Sporting black handprints on my chest bone? Not abuse. Ok.
@@devorahstevens6194It's the ULTIMATE gaslighting, truly. I hope every person who's been harmed by a partner hears this: THE ABUSER DOES NOT GET TO DETERMINE/DEFINE WHAT CONSTITUTES "ABUSE." If you feel harmed, if you feel frightened, if you feel threatened, if you feel physically injured or emotionally damaged in significant ways, if you feel unsafe--YOU are the one who has the right to define your abuse. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is an ABUSER. One that I've heard often is that it's not abuse if the batterer uses "an open hand" as if somehow it only "counts" if it's a fist punch. Anyone who's ever had a man thunk them in the head with his OPEN HAND knows the truth of how strong men really are, and how that non-fist can still make you see woozy stars. No one who loves you truly would ever hurt you in any of these ways. Ms. Stevens is completely righteous in her indignation because her man abused her and tried to gaslight her about it. May she never experience that again from anyone. It's time for so-called loved ones to STOP hurting their partners! For all those who've suffered abuse--young, old, female, male, trans, non-bin, gay, staight, and every other category of humanity, I'm sending this to them tonight: 🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘 YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ABUSED, my dears.
Yes, she was using a lot of code. The first thing I'd have done would be to call the Police but keep her on the phone. Thank goodness he didn't gave a weapon. (other than his fists) It doesn't have to be about power- he could just have a twisted mind.
@@Good-DaySunshine she kept trying to talk more abt the money problems. he was next to her, its hard . my ex wouold break my phone, check my convos. but it on speaker. its hard
Being a victim of domestic abuse while women is horrible. Now imagine being a male victim of abuse. It's sort of like being a female victim except no one gives a shit , there are no resources, no one will help you , and your abuser doesn't go to jail
@@mortgageapprovals8933this is not true man if you’re getting abused please get help there are a lot of people out there that are willing to help you through this. anybody is capable of abuse anyone can be a victim of abuse and nobody deserves it. if you’re being abused please seek help
Yes, but it takes years to believe it. I finally stopped spiraling after talking to my ex's SECOND ex-wife, who experienced exactly what I had. I wish I could have spared her the pain. But, at least we both know that it wasn't us - it was him.
@@sandyg3772 16 years later and I sometimes wonder if my ex-boyfriend beats on and emotionally abuses his wife. Rationally, I know he is a bad person but I have wondered if it was me that brought it out in him and that she caused him to change for the better. I am very happily married to the man I met whilst getting away from him but the grips of abuse still reach all these years later in some small way.
@@HealthyandLovingLife you didn't bring it out in him. He was that way because of himself. Chances are that he treats his wife the same way he treated you. It's typical to wonder if someone else will get " the better side" of an abuser. The answer is usually "no" because they don't change. I am happy for you that you are married to a wonderful man now.
"He has convinced you that you’re not able to operate without him, but I am convinced the only way you’re ever going to be able to operate is without him!". The definition of a narcissist! I was in a relationship with one, and that's exactly what happens when you "love" this type of people! Dave Ramsey here was an absolute hero! You need a boyfriendectomy! Love him!
So weird thing is, if you've ever called into the show, you have to leave a voice message explaining your situation and what you need to talk about, then Kelly or whomever screen those and call you back on another day. So more than likely she called a few days or week ago when she was in a better state of mind and they finally got around to call her back and she was in the middle of that chaos, so it was almost fate that it happened then, to give her the help she needed. Its crazy how that worked out and I hope she and her son are safe and grow past this.
I was a Domestic Violence Hotline Counselor ... and the way he 'heard' what she wasn't saying was textbook ... and I have mad respect for him for knowing how to get her to open up and say as much as she shared. I had a moment of deja vu ... remembering that job was the most stressful one I've ever had.
@stewman82 ... it was chilling to hear that play out in real time, cause we know how quick it can go left !! Especially that moment when she said, 'he's holding the baby' next to the car .... !!!!
I agree with you both. He did a great job. I too am a crisis therapist/hostage negotiator and these situations can flip in the blink of an eye. Kudos to Dave for paying attention. I pray she and her baby remain safe and are able to move forward.
@@Chris-es3wf I sure hope no one ever has to look to you for help. Anywho... let us remember that she called about selling her house. DAVE was the vigilant one and noticed the distress in her voice. She NEVER asked him to call LE. Soooooo maybe you should stop looking for nails and hammers and see things for what is really going on. Talk about jokes....🙄🙄
@@tiffanyreeves2980 Yeah, Chris is an idiot.For him to read these posts right here from real trauma trained hotline callers and still remain in his same frame of mind, he comes across as ignorant of what DV can and IS LIKE.
I’ve been in this woman’s shoes. My ex-wife absolutely terrorized me. Which is hard to admit as a grown man. Leaving her was the best (and most difficult) decision I made in my entire life.
Keep your mental health up. Sometimes late onset PTSD can strike randomly (I know from personal experience). Stay mentally healthy. Glad you're okay now.
Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s so important that people remember men can be victims of DV as well. I’m so glad you got away from her, I hope you are well!
My mother was killed as the result of domestic violence in 1977 when I was seven years old. If any woman reading this is being abused, or your kids are being abused, you simply have to overcome the fear and find a way to leave. Because even if you stay, you are not safe in an abusive situation. If my mother could speak to you now, she would tell you that very thing. God be with you. John 3:16.
Father, I pray asking you to heal & mend every broken fragment of this heart. Remake and renew each broken piece into something new and beautiful. You are Jehovah Rapha. I pray Your healing & peace for everyone who has experienced trauma and brokenness. In Jesus name.💓
As a domestic violence survivor, I can't thank you enough for how you handled this situation Dave. Obviously that man was manipulating her with her child and you gave her the best advice anyone could ever give her - *Leave, it's better to be a single mother than to be a dead one*
I to am a survivor. My boys dad would threaten to take my boys and change their names and I would never see them again. I was in my early 20's then. I was terrified.
This was certainly one of the most disturbing calls i have heard on the show since I started listening and so much so that I actually have a headache. My God that was really scary to listen to and I just hope she gets some time to heal after all of this.
@@Chris-es3wf Sound like a nice guy Chris. Maybe you’re the deadbeat BF or play one in real life? If this is fake, that girl can quit her $21/hr job and move to Hollywood, because she’s got leading actress talent.
Child of domestic abuse here: Dave is absolutely incredible. He cared about the woman and her baby FIRST, not the financial side of things. I wish I had had someone like him in my life when I was little.
As someone who had been abused for many years, especially by my ex-husband and his family I want to say thank you for reaching out and helping her. It is such a lonely time to feel like you have nobody you have to do it yourself 🙏🏻
That phone call sent chills down my spine. Glad they did a follow up the next day to let the audience know she was alright. He handled it great, staying calm and reassuring her that what her boyfriend told her was just manipulation and she needed to first ensure her safety
I am pretty desensitized to a lot of content, but this one was hard to listen to. You could hear it in her voice, like Dave said, how distressed she was. Too many victims go back to their abuser and I truly hope she's not one of them.
I understand her reluctance to call the police. It's so, so hard when you're in that situation, and you think you have no choice but to stay. You feel that you are nothing without them, and nobody else will ever want or love you. You feel stupid, worthless and you're unable to think clearly. I heard this woman talk and it took me right back for a minute. I would love to.give this woman a big hug, and tell her she's gonna be ok. She probably still loves him or at least she will think she does. It's devastating for her. 💖
Lol, sure. Like there are no 32 year old people with homes that don’t have mental problems. Birds of a feather flock together folks. I have witnessed a lot of domestic abuse situations and it has been very rare that both parties involved didn’t take part in perpetuating the violence.
@@williambrandondavis6897 oh yes, women are not the prey. Nearly all of us come from dysfunction and only with UA-cam do they even figure out what toxic is. And thank god!
She called about her “home” pretending she really wanted to sell so she could tell someone she needed help. He was in front of her and She cried about selling her home. She was really calling because she was in danger. Edit: Thanks for all of the likes and comments. I enjoy Dave’s show because he speaks to people of all backgrounds. I also love watching ‘Millennial Money’ because it’s really gives perspective, saying that to say we are all on different paths but I wish the best for everyone.
@@missmiss40258We live in a capitalist country. Last I checked, financial security contributes to safety here. You know what’s really unsafe? Being homeless. Of course she’s going to want to work out finances first before just running out the door and fleeing to a homeless shelter (which also have pretty high violence rates due to the transient people and unstable personalities that come through so often).
I think that's why a lot of women go for these badass wannabe tough guys, assuming that they and their offsprings will be included in the guy's circle of protection, absolutely unaware that the abusive guy is the actual lowest common denominator in all the violence that surrounds him.
@@mucheq5386 agree and disagree but as a full grown 40 year old man woman can be the abusers as well I literally had no choice but to deal with it try to be a guy and get a restraining order she tried OVER 2k times to have me arrested for crimes I did not commit she stalked me at every turn made to where I could not work I could go on and on but until your in that situation you could never understand But with that said There should be more people in the world like Ramsey truly someone to look up to
I weep as I write this.. 38 years ago, I was the baby in the arms of my father, who abused my mother. He threatened to take me to be raised by his parents in rural North Dakota. It was my mother in the driveway begging him to put me down and leave. Thankfully he did. My mother passed away in April of this year. She was that brave woman once upon a time. The bravest woman I have ever met. I only met my father again after I turned 18, and have seen him only a handful of times. We're not close, and I can't imagine we will ever be. I am so thankful for the life I didn't have with him, and even more thankful for the life my mom made for us. We were poor financially. She struggled with debt, she couldn't always pay the bills. Our lights were cut off at times, as was our phone. Once we even had to move because she couldn't keep up the rent. I understand why we lived the way we did. I understand the fear that she lived in that he'd come back. He didn't. Amazing clip, and... Danielle, if you ever happen to watch this video and read this note: Thank you for getting help by whatever means you needed to. You and your child will be ok. There will be hard times, and money may be a challenge at times, but you just made the best decision you could have possibly made for you and your child. Don't look back.. not even for a moment. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THAT DECISION!
Tyler, as I read your comment, the scene that was playing in my mind was that of my two-week-old son, in his father's arms, being dangled off the edge of a 6-foot tall porch. I had made it across the driveway, in my bare feet, and was on the way to the neighbors' house to call the police. I had to choose. I chose my son's safety and I walked back into that house. I survived that day, and I left him, and my son, who barely remembers his father, is now 21 and will earn his Master's next spring. My kids are all healthy, happy adults. Mama bears do what we have to do, and God is good. Thank you for sharing your appreciation of your mom with us. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's obvious that she raised you right. I'm sure she was very proud of you.
As someone who has been in an abusive relationship, you don’t believe it can ever happen to you or that it’s happening to you until it is already too late
Absolutely. This is why I stayed in my abusive relationship, it was terrifying to leave. People don't understand this. (I'm not in the relationship anymore by the way)
I think the only reason she called a radio show about finances was in hopes of being rescued in a covert way. It seems to me that she made such a brilliant move that even Mr. Ramsey didn’t catch her true intention behind her desperate call. Thank God he called 911, I’m assuming that’s what she was praying for.
Nah, he knew . The” do you need me to call 911” shows he knew exactly what was going on what to do …I’ve been there, called a cab company covertly and they caught on. Called the police to extract me safely.
As a 911 dispatcher of 20 years, I’ve handled many calls of this nature. But despite law enforcement intervention, the woman most generally returns to the abusive situation. She invariably feels guilty and worst, alone, without anyone. These women have been stripped of any confidence in themselves and even allow themselves to be convinced by the abuser that they deserve the abuse. These women don’t believe they can make it on their own. It is a cycle that is hard to break. I’ve seen it happen too many times. My heart goes out to them.
That's why Ramsay made such a point of giving her free counciling. She isn't safe until she realises men like the boyfriend are dangerous and she shouldn't be around them. He knows it's not just about solving the crisis but preventing it from occurring again in the future. That and the counseling will help her recover and heal from what she went through.
Im actually crying. When he said, "It needs to happen, and its happening today." Im all about peoples freedom to self determination but sometimes people just arent in a place to do whats best for themselves and they need someone to step in on their behalf. What a beautiful way to handle the situation.
I would love to see Dave, Rachel. & this caller Danielle have a reunion and be able to meet face to face. She is probably so grateful for what he's done for her and her baby
The look on Rachel's face says it all. Him holding the baby was such a punk move. That's why every woman needs at least one strong male figure in her life. This woman used Dave as hers.
Ladies…be VERY careful of the men you chose to have children with. If a man lays his hands on you even once, then he’s made it very clear that he’s capable of doing it again. Leave immediately…no second chances when it comes to physical violence
This shows how mental abuse makes you feel trapped within your own mind. It's her home and she is ready to sell the home just to get out of this situation. God give her strength to fight for that baby. And for herself.
@@rickdeckard4735 Things can change drastically from the time a relationship first starts to where it gets to this point where there is danger involved. Women don't always realize the man is dangerous in the beginning and then it usually slowly gets worse over time, until really bad things start happening eventually. So what seemed like an ok relationship in the beginning turns into a nightmare in the end. I don't blame the woman for that at all. IF it's the man who is causing pain to others, then yes, there is definitely something wrong with HIM. You seem to wrongly blame the woman for the bad things that the man is doing when you say "raise your daughters right".
@@Sheryl777 When the situation shows itself to be bad the women need to have enough strength to recognize it and get out of the situation. If she is not strong enough, then seek out male help in the form of a dad, a brother or a male friend.
This is the most alarming call I have ever heard on the Ramsey Show. I pray this woman and her baby are safe. Very upsetting just to listen to this call.
@@mariejones7136 I understand your thoughts, but not quite what I am talking about…self-defense through martial arts of Thai Chi with one simple hand movement you have them at their mercy or you can just push them away consistently without really hurting your opponent
@@karenbuchanan2340 your heart in in the right place, but tai chi is not a fighting martial art. Learn jiu jitsu or mma to be able to effectively defend yourself
Bad choices? The abuser, like most, can be quite manipulative in the early part of the relationship, slowly starting to control a person, then violence. Violence that she probably didn’t see coming.
We've heard half the story and she picked him and made a baby. She will have a co-parenting relationship with this guy for 18 years whether she likes it or not. Dave should try to get the boyfriend on for an interview.
@@davidmuth4571 maybe, maybe not. If he's violent and /or terrorizes the mom and potentially the kid... He will probably lose his rights to be in the kids life.
@@jeanna7851 Well, supervised visitation. A person I know had supervised visitation. She wanted to take her kids to Hawaii for a week, but had to take her ex mother-in-law. In the end that turned out very well.
I love Dave Ramsey, he can feel her pain, fear, and terror. His intuition is spot on. He saw right through the situation in seconds. We need more Dave in this world. What a beautiful human being.
My bio dad pursued my mom for 64 years until she passed at 84…from 20-84…she kept trying to get her & me away from him…but he reminded her it was until death do us part & she knew he always kept a loaded pistol…she finally got free by going to assisted living in 2022 after battling non Hodgkin lymphoma since 2008…I’m learning so many new ways to hear things. Resting in peace now means resting in death, an eternal peace away from her abuser. Wishing this lady love & peace.
I'm a Florida lawyer. She can get a domestic violence injunction easily. In Florida she is automatically the parent who has legal custody of the child if she is not married to his father.
"she is automatically the parent who has legal custody of the child if she is not married to his father." Wow, so much for equal rights in Florida! LOL
@@FreedomsNurse This is not an equal rights issue. It is a safety issue. Domestic violence is involved so this argument does not make sense at this time. I agree that both parents should share custody as long as a parent is not putting their children in harm's way. What is best for this child?
@Dorian Sullivan oh, so in Florida, biological fathers who aren't married to the mothers of these children don't have to pay child support since they're "not the parent" ? Lol
@@benzmane7564 well no if they aren't on the birth certificate than paternity would have to be established for them to be court ordered to pay child support
The way they both winced when she said her baby was only 8 months 😭 Such a visceral reaction to how helpless she was at that moment. “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing” He stepped up and did something. May we all
She also said she tried that. The police aren't a big help in these situations unless there is a clear crime, and usually in progress. This girl needs Mike from Breaking Bad, no half measures with this POS.
This is the most dangerous time...when a woman is trying to plan her escape from her abuser ....The abuser feels the loss of control and will often hurt them the worst during this time...Sometimes even kill them.
And children too, even a baby. When she was asked where the baby was and she said... "In his father's arms - in front of my car" I felt sick. My stomach dropped.
Mine asked to meet him with our children ! Went into our house after I left to grap paperwork saw a sawed off shotgun on the floor 😪! I knew this wasn't going to be a happy meeting ! Hid our kid's and myself for a while scared for our lives 😪😪😪
She may have wanted to sell her house and relocate somewhere he couldn't find her. We all know that unless a guy is prosecuted and locked away, she won't be safe.
Even if she moves elsewhere, public records will eventually be available. Name changes are also traceable in many instances. It's difficult to be completely safe nowadays if a person owns or rents a home and/or vehicle plus has a legitimate job. Not enough is done to protect the victims whose abusers (who already threatened violence or did commit violence) are living as free citizens.
This Gentleman who walked the poor young woman through the Process of Protecting herself and her little boy, just earned a Thumbs Up and my Subscription as well! He made a difference in their lives, for sure!
This was my situation. He wouldn't leave my house. He didn't help me with anything, taking care of the baby, chores, bills. I wanted to sell the house to just get out of the relationship. I had to sneak out of my house to see a lawyer and get a restraining order to get him out. These abusers are crazy. They feel entitled to own you, your property, your children.
@@annamarie2754 PLEASE please please take every threat seriously. Get a restraining order and purchase a gun. Take a class or have a good friend show you how to use it. Do not tell him about the gun. Leave the house and stay with family. Surround yourself with friends and/or family. Do not think he won't kill you. Get armed and get strong!
Unbelievable how many SAY they would stand against it UNTIL it’s their brother, their son, their friend, their coworker…..”but he’s such a nice guy”…they simply cannot believe it. Until we understand AS A SOCIETY that abusers are not the Hollywood portrayed maniacs throwing lamps and raging chaos. Abusers are very much IN control - that’s why they’re abusers. They are in control. It is calculated and manipulated.
This call scared the S--T out of me! It was all too real. My wife and I were in Vietnam visiting her parents (I married into a Vietnamese family). My sister in law, wife's younger sister, shows up one day with her son. I see a big bruise on her arm, and she is complaining about her left rib area. She was rushed to the hospital. Her husband (now former husband shows up). I tell him that if he wants to see his wife he will have to punch me out. I am bigger the him. He backs down. Ultimately, the now former husband ended up in jail that night. I blocked his punch and pinned him. By this time the cops came. My sister in law did recover. Her son and her moved in with her parents, and away from him. My father in law told the husband that he is not welcome at their house. My sister in law has recovered, and has grown closer to my wife (her sister). My sister in law is doing much better now, and her son is doing well. The former husband is still in jail.
Abusive partners never start out with physical abuse, it starts with beating down your self confidence and isolating you from support systems. Bless her because the courage it took for her to make that call was incredible. She will need some counseling and help no doubt. DV is such an awful family issue.
I know one across the street. She's so scared, she's totally cut herself off from us. I didn't hear/ see her for years. He's attempted to kill her a few times, probably because he couldn't figure out how to get her money.
I agree. I usually have this playing in the back ground as I'm working on other stuff, but this made me pause. I was like wth is going on. I hope he provides an update. Jesus Lord!
I love the empathy Dave shows, but: This woman needs an exit extrategy. A woman is the most susceptible to being killed by her aggressor as she is trying to leave them. That's why she wants to sell. She can call the police, but she has got to move.
This poor woman, you can tell she just needed someone to reach out to, not for her debt but for help in this situation. I’m glad that they handled this the way they did instead of just brushing her off and telling her that it’s not their problem.
One thing I do love about the folks on this show is they have 0 tolerance for abuse and other bs. It's a financial advice show but these kinds of situations will prevent any financial progress full stop.
You can hear in her voice she was frightened. Trying to stay strong to figure a plan out. Much respect to Ramsey for his care and concern and pray this woman safely got out of her situation.
She could be faking it too. If she was in danger, she would've left, call 911, and start the process of eviction against boyfriend number 70. Also, she would have applied for a restraining order
I would bet she hadn't talked to her father or brothers for quite awhile. They always try to separate you from family and friends who may help you. She can't live in her house anymore... I wish her safe.
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I was really sad and getting upset listening to her panicked call. I am really glad you both jumped in to help this person. Being stuck in a toxic and abusive relationship(in any form) is really scary and we all need help to get out sometimes.
Thank you Dave and to all your staff for helping that young lady.
Thank you for helping that family & doing this vid with the great advice!
Inappropriate
We don't really know the real picture here. She could be the crazy one. We need to keep emotion and biases aside and think logically.
I’m a 911 dispatcher, and these domestic violence calls are not only the scariest calls I deal with, they are also the number one most dangerous calls to police officers. As much as I hate picking up those calls, I am also glad the victim is reaching out for help.
Thank god for people like you, never in a million years could i take your job.
Thank you for what you do to help those people. You’re a hero. I cannot imagine doing your job. It takes someone very special to do this.
YES!! Thanks to the Nurses, Drs. Everyone that works for hospitals… And for the ones who get you there.. Dispatching is the 1st point of call.. THANK YOU
First question is access to a weapon.
Weither you hate it or not, its your job.
I don't care what anyone says about Dave, to take a distressed woman of domestic violence and guide her through this situation has earned my respect and I hope yours to!! He took the role of a man, a husband, a father, a leader and a man of God.
A man of god doesnt shut the doors of heaven. Jesus and the prophets used the LAW to bring people to Christ through faith. But the rest i dont disagree .
But the book of james explains that those who do the law should live in them; and if u fail in one then your guilty of all
@@theunjustservant9220 okay... What is it the part that you disagree with? Having trouble understanding the theology of your reply to the context of the situation that took place of the show. Thanks! :)
@@corbincreamer4353 honestly just the man of God part . Thank u for the reply tho
@@theunjustservant9220 no problem! Glad we have the space to discuss! God bless you!
This was a good deed, but Dave's still a charlatan.
This wasn't Dave Ramsey, financial guru; this was papa Dave talking to a woman in trouble.
it is caring for another not wisdom
It’s a shame everyone that needs this help doesn’t have Papa Dave to go to. So glad she made the choice to call someone that she knew would care.
Lord! Yes!
And I loved seeing it!
I was impressed how calm and methodical he was which is incredibly important to not cause escalation. Hats off to Papa Dave. Wish more people had fathers like him
This girl owning her own home and having a good job was a dream come true for this guy. He got her with a baby. Now he took over. He felt she wasnt going anywhere and he could contol her. I wouldnt be surprised if when she sold the home he didnt demand half the money. Ladies take it from a old gal who has see it all walk away while you still can and dont look back ever!
Exactly!! Don't stay, hoping it will get better. If he's going to get better, he can make those improvements without you there. Then, you'll see the proof and can make your decisions objectively.
Excellent comment!
Low value men are worthless!
They are back together. She got him out of jail
@@kcs.1728how do you know?
Thats why all of my uncle advice to never let a man took the lead of the house you own. My mom is one of this victim. She bought the house under my dad's name and she messed up when my dad sold it to buy mistress a bigger house. If you are an outstanding lady, you need an outstanding man that matches you.
This is what abuse does. It makes you feel like nothing and doubt all your choices. I feel for this woman.
I know all about it! People often blame the victim in this world sadly.Glad she's ok.
I’ve been there.. my heart goes out to her. This situation will make you walk in circles with no idea how to get out, your brain freezes😢 I hope she’s ok
This was a really hard call for me to listen to. I broke down into tears as a 46 year old male, married 25+ years, separated for two years now. My wife accused me of being abusive to her but not our kids, it was the most horrible year of my life. If she would have called Dave, she would have sounded the same way that woman did. I felt for her, I believe her yet in my situation both my wife's and my therapist didn't see things the same way my wife does. It's sad either way
An abuser can make you believe you're too weak and stupid to live without him. Nothing is further from the truth. There are place women can go to be safe
. The Police should know where these places are. God bless you...
Being a victim of domestic abuse while women is horrible.
Now imagine being a male victim of abuse.
It's sort of like being a female victim except no one gives a shit , there are no resources, no one will help you , and your abuser doesn't go to jail
As a survivor of domestic abuse... I CAN'T SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR WALKING HER THRU THIS! GOD BLESS YOU DAVE thank you.
I need to issue a brown toilet warning
This brings back all the trauma to someone that has been abused. She needs to run! She is so scared. I want to tell her leave and never look back. Life will be better. You and your son deserve better.
I'm a survivor also took me 16 yrs to escape. The people that say I would do this or that have no idea what mental abuse does to you it never goes away
@@kathytew4698 My Mom couldn't get rid of her ex-boyfriend after awhile. He would find us if we moved. He would just break into the place if we weren't home. The Police wouldn't do anything to help us and neither would the Landlord. Our extended family members didn't seem to care. All the Landlord had to do was prove that he wasn't on the lease and the Police would have taken him away. She had to move to another part of the country to get away from him. The only reason why she dated him was because her friend told her to give him a chance after she told her that he looked like a creep. Well, my Mom called it right. Some friends need to mind their own business.
@@saynotohookups and the legal system needs to demand accountability for landlords and others charged with providing safe housing (like police)
When she told him she was sorry, it made me cry, she probably felt like she was bothering him with her problem, glad he got her help and she's safe!
Me, too.
Same. Bless her heart. I hope everything worked out for her. I would love to hear an update.
She probably has to say I'm sorry to her abuser all the time.
@@bleuskye8124 That is exactly what i thought! She probably says that word a heck of a lot to try to appease him.
@@jujutrini8412 So she finds herself always saying sorry. To everyone she interacts with. Abused people do that.
Even if he leaves, he knows where she lives. That’s why she wants to sell the house. God I hope she’s okay.
Rip
I was thinking the same thing.. sell it and start fresh
Yeah, she probably does not feel comfortable. Knowing that if the police do not arrest him he could easily come back and do something terrible to her and the baby or both of them.
@@clayhealey8428 That’s what I did..I had secret plans to leave him in the middle of a planned night. I packed my car and my cats and left my house where I was being watch and reported back to him. I moved to another state where I lived with my family for a year and started my life over…These women that are in domestic violent relationships have to realize that if you do not completely sever ties with these evil men they are pulling the whole family and with the drama which isn’t fair for them… fortunately this woman had a house in her name and a good income. She just needs to grow a backbone and really understand that true honorable men don’t treat women like that and kick him to the curb. But to realize that you have to go through a lot of counseling and want it! Unfortunately women who tolerate these types of men have something in the background that makes them want to or tolerate it, which I did and got counseling for.
@@regulus8319 The only way he can be arrested if She has visible Bruises or if he will not leave the house. In my case I took him back over and over and over again which hopefully won’t happen to her and she can get on with her life but she’s going to have to install a really good security system in her house and maybe learn how to shoot a gun for protection…I opted to leave the state and keep my Whereabouts secret as long as I live and only put my drivers license address in my families address
“Medical debt from the birth of our son.”
It’s a sad world.
Not a sad world...sad country. 😢
@@BeyondTigerMilk newsflash doctors in other countries with free healthcare still get paid🤯
@@BeyondTigerMilk lmao what
@@BeyondTigerMilk wait do you actually think every other country has doctors delivering babies for free and that’s why it’s cheaper in every other country!? Lmaoooo
I felt it when she said “our.”
How he called her baby doll while telling her he's calling the cops for her 😭❤️😭
I know right! I felt safe and I wasn't even in the situation.
Yeah, that was pretty creepy, wasn’t it? This guy definitely has some sort of weird dungeon in his basement. You can just tell. I bet he’s holding multiple women captive in his house, and making them call him “Doctor.” He’s a sick person, for sure.
"baby doll" wasn't a phrase used towards a girlfriend, it was used towards a daughter. He's being a dad.
@@chriswebster24”baby doll/girl” is what we in the south at least call our daughters. Stop making it sexual.
@@chriswebster24you need Jesus 😂
He’s 100% right. When you are under the influence of an abuser, you can’t see things clearly.
It's true. You can't think straight. I was abused by violent ex for 16 years. I nearly lost my mind & I was suicidal. It took forever to see what was happening.
It is terrible. I was like a scared rabbit around him, and my poor brain was completely scrambled. I finally fled and went into a womans refuge. I stay in my home now, and I do not interact with anyone but 4 family members. 😁
Yes; narcissistic control is ALWAYS a characterising factor
I know this is an old call but I couldn't help but cry. She had so much fear in her voice and the hopelessness she conveyed. Dave was a hero that day.
This is so wrong for you stay...you are smarter than you think and stronger than you think. Emotional abuse will affect your son. @@DisabledAussiePrepper
He actually knew to say, “You’re not the crazy one.” So impressed.
That struck me too! Amazing!
She started crying right when he said that...she needed that!
Wish people would stop using this pathetic crazy word it doesn't help mental health at all
@@perry6712that is true
❤❤❤
Gosh, im happy he was removed from the property. I was so nervous for her. Ive been in that spot and sometimes the police show up and dont remove the aggressive person. People violate restraining orders, stalk the victime. Its so scary. I didnt want to open the door or leave my house. I hope her family shows up for her. Thank you for what you do!
I'm so glad you got out. I know exactly what you mean about the police. I was I a DV relationship and he'd held me for days in the house and I thought he's going to kill me so I opened the window and just started screaming and someone called them and they kicked the door in and found him trying to push me out the third floor window. Do you know how long he spent in jail? One night. Then he came straight to my house but I had male friends there who are real men and they told him if youbtouch her again your going in a bin upside down with 20 hopes in you and the only reason your not is because she asked us not to but you touch her again and she doesnt get a say. He went and packed his bags and left. They hurt females because they're cowards and when a real man fronts them out they crumble. He ended up homeless and then went to prison and then into a shelter when he got out where he died from a drug overdose and finally I knew I was 100% safe.
@@Lizzie-h3jWow! What a story! My heart was beating fast while I read it & you know why. It’s the PTSD that stuff gives you when you go through it. I know you, because I was there, too. You are not alone. I pray you have healed…❤ 🙏🏻
My gut hurts. Beenbb my there, it’s paralyzing when you’re inside of that type of abuse.
The sigh she took when he told her she was not the crazy one. man that got me. I can feel her pain… praying for her healing
Just reading this made me 😢
Because it was so spot on and her deep sigh replayed in my head over and over again😓😭
❤❤❤
I was abused. I still have damage. I've had issues, surgery. Etc. He said it wasn't abuse because he didn't "hit" me. I guess pushing someone down steps is a freebie? Thrown across a room? Sporting black handprints on my chest bone? Not abuse. Ok.
@@devorahstevens6194It's the ULTIMATE gaslighting, truly. I hope every person who's been harmed by a partner hears this: THE ABUSER DOES NOT GET TO DETERMINE/DEFINE WHAT CONSTITUTES "ABUSE." If you feel harmed, if you feel frightened, if you feel threatened, if you feel physically injured or emotionally damaged in significant ways, if you feel unsafe--YOU are the one who has the right to define your abuse. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is an ABUSER. One that I've heard often is that it's not abuse if the batterer uses "an open hand" as if somehow it only "counts" if it's a fist punch. Anyone who's ever had a man thunk them in the head with his OPEN HAND knows the truth of how strong men really are, and how that non-fist can still make you see woozy stars. No one who loves you truly would ever hurt you in any of these ways. Ms. Stevens is completely righteous in her indignation because her man abused her and tried to gaslight her about it. May she never experience that again from anyone. It's time for so-called loved ones to STOP hurting their partners! For all those who've suffered abuse--young, old, female, male, trans, non-bin, gay, staight, and every other category of humanity, I'm sending this to them tonight: 🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘 YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ABUSED, my dears.
@@devorahstevens6194😅
It's March 25, 2024
Can we get an update of this brave lady?
I prayed for the safety and well being for her and her baby.
Would really love that too 😢😢😢
Me three !
Me four
I believe the cops were called and he's in prison
@@FatootooKhamoun and you believe that because of what?
This is basically just a call for help in disguise.
Sometimes when you need help this badly - you don’t even know what you need help for. It is heartbreaking to hear someone else go through that .
Yes, she was using a lot of code. The first thing I'd have done would be to call the Police but keep her on the phone. Thank goodness he didn't gave a weapon. (other than his fists) It doesn't have to be about power- he could just have a twisted mind.
@@Good-DaySunshine she kept trying to talk more abt the money problems. he was next to her, its hard . my ex wouold break my phone, check my convos. but it on speaker. its hard
And she made the best decision to make that phone call.
I thought so too.
As a retired firefighter/EMT the worse calls were domestics. They are very dangerous for everyone involved.
Being a victim of domestic abuse while women is horrible.
Now imagine being a male victim of abuse.
It's sort of like being a female victim except no one gives a shit , there are no resources, no one will help you , and your abuser doesn't go to jail
@@mortgageapprovals8933and men set it up that way
@@mortgageapprovals8933this is not true man if you’re getting abused please get help there are a lot of people out there that are willing to help you through this. anybody is capable of abuse anyone can be a victim of abuse and nobody deserves it. if you’re being abused please seek help
@@mortgageapprovals8933 Idk about no one gives a shit. Johnny Depp certainly won in the court of public opinion
@@jennys2543 money talks
When someone is gaslighting you non stop, it's emotionally healing to hear you aren't insane
☝️ 👏 Yes!
Yes, but it takes years to believe it.
I finally stopped spiraling after talking to my ex's SECOND ex-wife, who experienced exactly what I had. I wish I could have spared her the pain. But, at least we both know that it wasn't us - it was him.
@@sandyg3772 16 years later and I sometimes wonder if my ex-boyfriend beats on and emotionally abuses his wife. Rationally, I know he is a bad person but I have wondered if it was me that brought it out in him and that she caused him to change for the better. I am very happily married to the man I met whilst getting away from him but the grips of abuse still reach all these years later in some small way.
@@HealthyandLovingLife you didn't bring it out in him. He was that way because of himself. Chances are that he treats his wife the same way he treated you. It's typical to wonder if someone else will get " the better side" of an abuser. The answer is usually "no" because they don't change. I am happy for you that you are married to a wonderful man now.
@@sandyg3772 Thank you! I thank God he got me out of that.
"He has convinced you that you’re not able to operate without him, but I am convinced the only way you’re ever going to be able to operate is without him!". The definition of a narcissist! I was in a relationship with one, and that's exactly what happens when you "love" this type of people! Dave Ramsey here was an absolute hero! You need a boyfriendectomy! Love him!
Same.
She’s calling Dave, because she’s too scared to call the police..
This was a scary call. I'm glad that Dave's team got on it to help her.
I definitely think some domestic violence is going on. Poor woman. This is not a house problem, this is battered woman problem.
So weird thing is, if you've ever called into the show, you have to leave a voice message explaining your situation and what you need to talk about, then Kelly or whomever screen those and call you back on another day. So more than likely she called a few days or week ago when she was in a better state of mind and they finally got around to call her back and she was in the middle of that chaos, so it was almost fate that it happened then, to give her the help she needed. Its crazy how that worked out and I hope she and her son are safe and grow past this.
@@ThommyGunnGaming I didn't know that
This call is recorded. Law needs to be involved. Young lady you ask for help. Your child is at risk and so are you
Saddest thing is, abusers frequently ignore a restraining order. Praying for her and her son.
Even sadder yet, often times the victim cries for help so often but nothing ever gets done until it’s too late.
And yes and come back…..
2nd Amendment stops returners
That was my concern. I was in her situation years ago and he violated the restraining order all the time.
Yes sociopaths dont care about the law
I was a Domestic Violence Hotline Counselor ... and the way he 'heard' what she wasn't saying was textbook ... and I have mad respect for him for knowing how to get her to open up and say as much as she shared. I had a moment of deja vu ... remembering that job was the most stressful one I've ever had.
@stewman82 ... it was chilling to hear that play out in real time, cause we know how quick it can go left !! Especially that moment when she said, 'he's holding the baby' next to the car .... !!!!
I agree with you both. He did a great job. I too am a crisis therapist/hostage negotiator and these situations can flip in the blink of an eye. Kudos to Dave for paying attention. I pray she and her baby remain safe and are able to move forward.
@@tiffanyreeves2980 everything looks like a nail to a hammer. If she was serious she wouldn't have called then. What a joke...
@@Chris-es3wf I sure hope no one ever has to look to you for help. Anywho... let us remember that she called about selling her house. DAVE was the vigilant one and noticed the distress in her voice. She NEVER asked him to call LE. Soooooo maybe you should stop looking for nails and hammers and see things for what is really going on. Talk about jokes....🙄🙄
@@tiffanyreeves2980 Yeah, Chris is an idiot.For him to read these posts right here from real trauma trained hotline callers and still remain in his same frame of mind, he comes across as ignorant of what DV can and IS LIKE.
I’ve been in this woman’s shoes. My ex-wife absolutely terrorized me. Which is hard to admit as a grown man. Leaving her was the best (and most difficult) decision I made in my entire life.
Keep your mental health up. Sometimes late onset PTSD can strike randomly (I know from personal experience). Stay mentally healthy. Glad you're okay now.
I'm so glad you got away. God bless!
You did good Daniel. It wasn't your fault
I am glad you said this, most people don’t think about male dv victims and sometimes don’t believe they are actually victims because of their gender.
Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s so important that people remember men can be victims of DV as well. I’m so glad you got away from her, I hope you are well!
Everyone please say a prayer for this lady. She is really in pain and needs help.
Please LORD help this woman and her child they needs you IN JESUS NAME I PRAY 🙏🏼✝️
God bless this woman in Jesus holy name and through his precious blood ✝️
Just did. I hope she is safe. This made me emotional.
Amen. I’ve been praying through this whole video. Breaks my heart.
Done!
My mother was killed as the result of domestic violence in 1977 when I was seven years old. If any woman reading this is being abused, or your kids are being abused, you simply have to overcome the fear and find a way to leave. Because even if you stay, you are not safe in an abusive situation. If my mother could speak to you now, she would tell you that very thing. God be with you. John 3:16.
I'm so sorry.
And also with you...
Hugs. May God bless you, too.
Father, I pray asking you to heal & mend every broken fragment of this heart. Remake and renew each broken piece into something new and beautiful. You are Jehovah Rapha. I pray Your healing & peace for everyone who has experienced trauma and brokenness. In Jesus name.💓
I am so sorry, I cannot imagine how she and you suffered
Hearing "he's standing right next to me" nearly gave me a heart attack
That's what they do she will be such a happy women the baby too I felt her pain
Dude she's quivering in her voice. Geez this was hard to listen to.
why ?
Is there any update on the situation? Is she and her son safe?
Why?
Shoooo I didn’t breathe that entire call. My God. Praying for that mama and her baby
As a domestic violence survivor, I can't thank you enough for how you handled this situation Dave. Obviously that man was manipulating her with her child and you gave her the best advice anyone could ever give her - *Leave, it's better to be a single mother than to be a dead one*
I to am a survivor. My boys dad would threaten to take my boys and change their names and I would never see them again. I was in my early 20's then. I was terrified.
I hope you are doing well now 💕💕
@@maryconner1631 I hope you are doing well now 💕💕
Was he the father of her kid ?
@@maryconner1631 I’m so sorry. I’m here for you 💕💕
This is probably the most upsetting call made on the Ramsey show.
This was certainly one of the most disturbing calls i have heard on the show since I started listening and so much so that I actually have a headache. My God that was really scary to listen to and I just hope she gets some time to heal after all of this.
Feels.jpg
The fake type?
@@Chris-es3wf
Sound like a nice guy Chris. Maybe you’re the deadbeat BF or play one in real life? If this is fake, that girl can quit her $21/hr job and move to Hollywood, because she’s got leading actress talent.
@Neal J. Obviously you have never been in an abusive situation.
Child of domestic abuse here: Dave is absolutely incredible. He cared about the woman and her baby FIRST, not the financial side of things. I wish I had had someone like him in my life when I was little.
i'm so sorry you had to live through that. i truly hope you've found some healing.
The best revenge is to be that person who cares and stops others from suffering a similar experience. God bless.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I am praying for you ❤️
🙏❤️
So sorry you went through all that. I hope you are doing well 💗
As someone who had been abused for many years, especially by my ex-husband and his family I want to say thank you for reaching out and helping her. It is such a lonely time to feel like you have nobody you have to do it yourself 🙏🏻
You can tell Dave’s “father instincts” kicked in.
Yeah, it's rather endearing.
God bless Dave for pressing her like a father would, that was beautiful!
Yes great dad!
😂🤡
Yup, as soon as someone says “my sons father” and not their boyfriend or husband, you know there’s something wrong.
That phone call sent chills down my spine.
Glad they did a follow up the next day to let the audience know she was alright.
He handled it great, staying calm and reassuring her that what her boyfriend told her was just manipulation and she needed to first ensure her safety
my fight or flight response kicked in so fast.............I have never felt that before in my 22 yrs of God-given life
@@josephgavlek3419, A lot of Women of all ages are feeling vigilant about their safety these days.
He's probably the Best Brother in the world...he understands how frightening life can be when you're a woman on your own...
I am pretty desensitized to a lot of content, but this one was hard to listen to. You could hear it in her voice, like Dave said, how distressed she was. Too many victims go back to their abuser and I truly hope she's not one of them.
What happens when he gets out though? He knows where she lives. That’s scary as all get out.
So much pain in her voice. This is scary.
Yes !!
More like FEAR.
totally. This is how i sound when Im freaking out...
Let's join Dave Ramsey tech via*telegram
Jesus, please help this momma and her baby🙏🏻 in your holy name, I pray, Amen
This is the most dangerous time for a woman and her children. This is a delicate situation.
The terror in her voice was absolutely chilling...
I swear!
I felt that before.totally connected to hrr
I understand her reluctance to call the police. It's so, so hard when you're in that situation, and you think you have no choice but to stay. You feel that you are nothing without them, and nobody else will ever want or love you. You feel stupid, worthless and you're unable to think clearly. I heard this woman talk and it took me right back for a minute. I would love to.give this woman a big hug, and tell her she's gonna be ok. She probably still loves him or at least she will think she does. It's devastating for her. 💖
God Bless you for taking care of her.
She had me crying. So much pain!!
Can we just take a second to appreciate how calm Dave was here while even his own daughter was getting afraid. That's leadership
Good to know there are decent men around, I met one today too
Absolutely!!
@@dannym6552 Most men are decent.
This is where Dave truly demonstrates magnificence. God Bless Him
A great man
When you’re 32 years old own a home and made to think you’re the problem...that’s gaslighting 100%.
Yep she should watch a few Dr Ramani videos on narcissism. The confusion will clear much quicker
10000000%
What is gaslighting
Lol, sure. Like there are no 32 year old people with homes that don’t have mental problems. Birds of a feather flock together folks. I have witnessed a lot of domestic abuse situations and it has been very rare that both parties involved didn’t take part in perpetuating the violence.
@@williambrandondavis6897 oh yes, women are not the prey.
Nearly all of us come from dysfunction and only with UA-cam do they even figure out what toxic is. And thank god!
She called about her “home” pretending she really wanted to sell so she could tell someone she needed help. He was in front of her and She cried about selling her home. She was really calling because she was in danger.
Edit: Thanks for all of the likes and comments. I enjoy Dave’s show because he speaks to people of all backgrounds. I also love watching ‘Millennial Money’ because it’s really gives perspective, saying that to say we are all on different paths but I wish the best for everyone.
Domestic abuse looks like this.
Yes. Wow.
She just wants attention... her BF didn't do anything... people making a lot of assumptions while she never said ANYTHING.
@@Chris-es3wf naw this isn't attention
Good point. I didnt think about it like that.
She called Dave before her father. That says something.
She's more worried about money than the safety of her child
@@missmiss40258Money affects the safety of the child
@@missmiss40258We live in a capitalist country. Last I checked, financial security contributes to safety here. You know what’s really unsafe? Being homeless. Of course she’s going to want to work out finances first before just running out the door and fleeing to a homeless shelter (which also have pretty high violence rates due to the transient people and unstable personalities that come through so often).
@@katherine2000cl so you're saying keeping her son in danger at home is better? Interesting
@@katherine2000cl she owns the house. She wouldn't be homeless. Didn't you watch the whole video?
The pain in her voice breaks my heart.
A real man protects women and children. Period end of sentence.
Not a real man but a real person protects everyone, regardless of gender.
I think that's why a lot of women go for these badass wannabe tough guys, assuming that they and their offsprings will be included in the guy's circle of protection, absolutely unaware that the abusive guy is the actual lowest common denominator in all the violence that surrounds him.
@@alankuruvilla8939 do you have to ruin everything with your feminist bs
@@mucheq5386 agree and disagree but as a full grown 40 year old man woman can be the abusers as well I literally had no choice but to deal with it try to be a guy and get a restraining order she tried OVER 2k times to have me arrested for crimes I did not commit she stalked me at every turn made to where I could not work I could go on and on but until your in that situation you could never understand
But with that said There should be more people in the world like Ramsey truly someone to look up to
@@mucheq5386 What? Everyone should protect all people; regardless of gender. We are all humans & need to support one another.
Dave went full dad mode. God bless Him !
FUCK everything people say about dave’s decisions and financial statements, dude just saved two people’s lives over a phone call.
Don't cuss
@@amberrose1108piss off
@@amberrose1108 Stop believing that the Moon is made of cheese!!!!
@@amberrose1108 Don't be such a whus!!!
Good job Dave! I’m a 911 operator and I hear this every day! I hope she doesn’t let him back in her life!
If she does, he could take her out
😥😥
Most women do take back their abusers
@@marita6862 🎯
@@marita6862 most times out of fear
The sad thing is that this is not over for her. Guys like him don't go away easily.
They can be made to go away.
@@judymanuel4314 How
@@JohnBeezy3 classic ol fist fight
@@brittanymillerry2327 What if he wins the fist fight?
They never change. Unfortunately I have had everything taken from me. There is not always a way to live some place else.
I weep as I write this..
38 years ago, I was the baby in the arms of my father, who abused my mother. He threatened to take me to be raised by his parents in rural North Dakota. It was my mother in the driveway begging him to put me down and leave.
Thankfully he did.
My mother passed away in April of this year. She was that brave woman once upon a time. The bravest woman I have ever met.
I only met my father again after I turned 18, and have seen him only a handful of times. We're not close, and I can't imagine we will ever be.
I am so thankful for the life I didn't have with him, and even more thankful for the life my mom made for us. We were poor financially. She struggled with debt, she couldn't always pay the bills. Our lights were cut off at times, as was our phone. Once we even had to move because she couldn't keep up the rent.
I understand why we lived the way we did. I understand the fear that she lived in that he'd come back. He didn't.
Amazing clip, and...
Danielle, if you ever happen to watch this video and read this note: Thank you for getting help by whatever means you needed to. You and your child will be ok. There will be hard times, and money may be a challenge at times, but you just made the best decision you could have possibly made for you and your child. Don't look back.. not even for a moment. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THAT DECISION!
WOW Tyler. Amazing story you have there. Wishing you well
@@TheHoriginal thank you!
Thanks for sharing. Sometimes people feel stuck in these situations.
Tyler, as I read your comment, the scene that was playing in my mind was that of my two-week-old son, in his father's arms, being dangled off the edge of a 6-foot tall porch. I had made it across the driveway, in my bare feet, and was on the way to the neighbors' house to call the police. I had to choose. I chose my son's safety and I walked back into that house. I survived that day, and I left him, and my son, who barely remembers his father, is now 21 and will earn his Master's next spring. My kids are all healthy, happy adults. Mama bears do what we have to do, and God is good. Thank you for sharing your appreciation of your mom with us. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's obvious that she raised you right. I'm sure she was very proud of you.
I hope she reads this , as a mother, we only want the best for our children.
This is a sign of a true man and a person who is in touch with the world. God bless this lady and her kid. Hope she's in a better place
The emotion she showed when he told her she wasn’t the crazy one. Wow.
I know! 🥺💔
It’s because that man has told her she was!!
Because he has made her feel crazy for however long they've been together
He's obviously gaslighting her.
As someone who has been in an abusive relationship, you don’t believe it can ever happen to you or that it’s happening to you until it is already too late
The most dangerous time is when you leave the abuser.
💯% 😔
Absolutely. This is why I stayed in my abusive relationship, it was terrifying to leave. People don't understand this. (I'm not in the relationship anymore by the way)
@@HaleySmith glad you broke free. 🙏🏽
@Mikael no actually its when you first leave and the abusers desperate to get their sontrol back
@Mikael And Abusive men don't care about a court order of protection that triggers them to get what's theirs by any means necessary.
I think the only reason she called a radio show about finances was in hopes of being rescued in a covert way. It seems to me that she made such a brilliant move that even Mr. Ramsey didn’t catch her true intention behind her desperate call. Thank God he called 911, I’m assuming that’s what she was praying for.
Exactly.
Nah, he knew . The” do you need me to call 911” shows he knew exactly what was going on what to do …I’ve been there, called a cab company covertly and they caught on. Called the police to extract me safely.
As a 911 dispatcher of 20 years, I’ve handled many calls of this nature. But despite law enforcement intervention, the woman most generally returns to the abusive situation. She invariably feels guilty and worst, alone, without anyone. These women have been stripped of any confidence in themselves and even allow themselves to be convinced by the abuser that they deserve the abuse. These women don’t believe they can make it on their own. It is a cycle that is hard to break. I’ve seen it happen too many times. My heart goes out to them.
The mental effects are brutal!
That's why Ramsay made such a point of giving her free counciling. She isn't safe until she realises men like the boyfriend are dangerous and she shouldn't be around them. He knows it's not just about solving the crisis but preventing it from occurring again in the future. That and the counseling will help her recover and heal from what she went through.
Dave is the kind of dad everyone deserves.
Im actually crying. When he said, "It needs to happen, and its happening today." Im all about peoples freedom to self determination but sometimes people just arent in a place to do whats best for themselves and they need someone to step in on their behalf. What a beautiful way to handle the situation.
“We don’t need to call a realtor, we need to call the police, your father and your brothers” 🙏🙏🙏.
Sometimes the father or brothers won't help.
But she must leave.. no matter what!
I would love to see Dave, Rachel. & this caller Danielle have a reunion and be able to meet face to face. She is probably so grateful for what he's done for her and her baby
“And It’s happening today” - you could here her sigh of relief.
Well done team.
The look on Rachel's face says it all. Him holding the baby was such a punk move. That's why every woman needs at least one strong male figure in her life. This woman used Dave as hers.
She has a brother and a father! And she called Dave to ask if she should sell her house!
Sad that the man in her life couldn't be that for her. World would be different without weak men and scummy men.
M Love Spring STRONG male figures. No strong male figure would allow those things to happen to a female relative like that.
@@julianaristizabal1657 they may have tried and she pushed them away. Like she tried to dave
@@Rileysuniques well if a man raised her, she wouldn’t have been in this position, no strong male gets pushed away by their daughter
Ladies…be VERY careful of the men you chose to have children with. If a man lays his hands on you even once, then he’s made it very clear that he’s capable of doing it again. Leave immediately…no second chances when it comes to physical violence
Not only men dont blame men for all the issues
Frank S, well said. Leave immediately and don’t look back nor go back, no matter how much the abuser cries, begs and apologizes.
Same for men.
@@nicolebond3992 Correct! They are trying to find your weak spot so you will go back to them! They lie 100%
It really takes a neutral person to open one's eyes and see what is happening! Thank you! for helping her!!!!
All those men who abuse their lady's and kids are just dirt. So proud of the Ramsey team and this young lady fighting
And the willing women? What are they called?
The one that couldn't have a nice guy. This is why we just say date a bad boy you can see what happens.
You mean abusers of both genders, not just men, right?
@@dontblameme6328 victims. Just because someone gets in this kind of situation doesn't take the blame from the abuser.
We need to stop calling them men. They are male but don't deserve the title of man. All men are male, not all males are men.
This shows how mental abuse makes you feel trapped within your own mind. It's her home and she is ready to sell the home just to get out of this situation. God give her strength to fight for that baby. And for herself.
Your first sentence is SO on point.
Sitting in a doctor's office rn and this had me sweating. Poor girl.
Raise your sons right so people don't have to go through this
Raise your daughters right so they don't put themselves in these situations - take responsibility folks!
Both of you are right.... people in general need to be raised better with better morals
@@rickdeckard4735 Things can change drastically from the time a relationship first starts to where it gets to this point where there is danger involved. Women don't always realize the man is dangerous in the beginning and then it usually slowly gets worse over time, until really bad things start happening eventually. So what seemed like an ok relationship in the beginning turns into a nightmare in the end. I don't blame the woman for that at all. IF it's the man who is causing pain to others, then yes, there is definitely something wrong with HIM. You seem to wrongly blame the woman for the bad things that the man is doing when you say "raise your daughters right".
@@Sheryl777 When the situation shows itself to be bad the women need to have enough strength to recognize it and get out of the situation. If she is not strong enough, then seek out male help in the form of a dad, a brother or a male friend.
@@mercuryrising2424 Well at least she did call Dave which shows she is reaching out for help. Glad about that anyway.
As a DV survivor I want to say thank you so much for caring and for acting. Thank you.
This is the most alarming call I have ever heard on the Ramsey Show. I pray this woman and her baby are safe. Very upsetting just to listen to this call.
Yeah. I'm still watching and crying and I don't know why?
Yes it is
Dave might have just saved this woman’s life
I hope she and her child are safe…wishing her the best
I also recommend women take a self-defense training course and learn martial arts as the defense of Thai Chi
@@karenbuchanan2340 like in the movie Enough with JLO..
@@mariejones7136 I understand your thoughts, but not quite what I am talking about…self-defense through martial arts of Thai Chi with one simple hand movement you have them at their mercy or you can just push them away consistently without really hurting your opponent
@@karenbuchanan2340 Giving people a false sense that they can defend themselves is dangerous & irresponsible.
@@karenbuchanan2340 your heart in in the right place, but tai chi is not a fighting martial art. Learn jiu jitsu or mma to be able to effectively defend yourself
He’s holding the baby. She’s afraid to do anything while he’s holding the baby.
Yep, and that's exactly why he was holding him.
@STUPID TABLET Hey Stupid, sometimes you don't know you're trapped until you are!
@@greekgirl9897 isn't his name very fitting.
@@greekgirl9897 Truth !!!! 🙌
Restraining orders dont work. It is terrifying. Thank you for helping her.
Made this grown man tear up. She went to a voice of reason. Sounds like she was raised right and went into a spiral of bad choices.
Bad choices? The abuser, like most, can be quite manipulative in the early part of the relationship, slowly starting to control a person, then violence. Violence that she probably didn’t see coming.
He’s using fear to control her. That’s the devil right there. I pray she gets out of that abuse. Been there!
Terrifying situation. That man can manipulate and emotionally torture her with their baby. So horrible. Good job, Dave.
We've heard half the story and she picked him and made a baby. She will have a co-parenting relationship with this guy for 18 years whether she likes it or not. Dave should try to get the boyfriend on for an interview.
@@davidmuth4571 maybe, maybe not. If he's violent and /or terrorizes the mom and potentially the kid... He will probably lose his rights to be in the kids life.
@@jeanna7851 "Emotional abuse" without specifics is always suspect.
@@jeanna7851 Well, supervised visitation. A person I know had supervised visitation. She wanted to take her kids to Hawaii for a week, but had to take her ex mother-in-law. In the end that turned out very well.
and that woman can manipulate and emotionally torture that man with their baby, financially torture that man.
I love Dave Ramsey, he can feel her pain, fear, and terror. His intuition is spot on. He saw right through the situation in seconds. We need more Dave in this world. What a beautiful human being.
he became "Dad" and not "Dave" on that call.
He has a daughter!!
And dads with daughters will rip a dude's heart out for giving grief to their little girl.
My bio dad pursued my mom for 64 years until she passed at 84…from 20-84…she kept trying to get her & me away from him…but he reminded her it was until death do us part & she knew he always kept a loaded pistol…she finally got free by going to assisted living in 2022 after battling non Hodgkin lymphoma since 2008…I’m learning so many new ways to hear things.
Resting in peace now means resting in death, an eternal peace away from her abuser.
Wishing this lady love & peace.
That is awful. I'm sorry. Praying for you🙏
Dave and Rachel,
Your kindness and empathy to this woman on this call are from God. Beautiful souls, both of you.
@Matt right ? They gave the appropriate response to anyone in need. This is what people SHOULD do .
@Matt you obviously dont know humans... the normal human response is what her "husband" did
@@77Friction No , it is not the normal human response to be a domestic abuser. Some people are , that doesn’t make it normal.
@Matt yeah, I think Boris forgot that evolution programmed kindness into our DNA.
@@77Friction not true
I hate hearing a woman in this kind of fear of the man she is with.
what kinda of fear ?
@@FearlessCaper1 duh
He isn't even worthy to be called a man!
@@RoyalMasterpiece She isn't worthy to be called a woman either.
Wish I could have helped him out of the home ...
I'm a Florida lawyer. She can get a domestic violence injunction easily. In Florida she is automatically the parent who has legal custody of the child if she is not married to his father.
"she is automatically the parent who has legal custody of the child if she is not married to his father." Wow, so much for equal rights in Florida! LOL
@@FreedomsNurse This is not an equal rights issue. It is a safety issue. Domestic violence is involved so this argument does not make sense at this time.
I agree that both parents should share custody as long as a parent is not putting their children in harm's way.
What is best for this child?
@Dorian Sullivan not true if his name is on the birth certificate.
@Dorian Sullivan oh, so in Florida, biological fathers who aren't married to the mothers of these children don't have to pay child support since they're "not the parent" ? Lol
@@benzmane7564 well no if they aren't on the birth certificate than paternity would have to be established for them to be court ordered to pay child support
The way they both winced when she said her baby was only 8 months 😭 Such a visceral reaction to how helpless she was at that moment.
“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”
He stepped up and did something.
May we all
The sheer horror and this woman’s voice got to me. I wish we could find out how this woman is doing.
They did a follow-up, the boyfriend is in jail.
@@JP2GiannaT Good!
She immediately freaked out when he mentioned police. She's been conditioned
Yeah, that made my blood run cold.
She also said she tried that. The police aren't a big help in these situations unless there is a clear crime, and usually in progress. This girl needs Mike from Breaking Bad, no half measures with this POS.
Police only help after a crime is committed.
Kid napping is a crime
@@elliotjames5172
Yeah if the coward isn't holding a baby then .357>911
This is the most dangerous time...when a woman is trying to plan her escape from her abuser ....The abuser feels the loss of control and will often hurt them the worst during this time...Sometimes even kill them.
And children too, even a baby. When she was asked where the baby was and she said... "In his father's arms - in front of my car" I felt sick. My stomach dropped.
@@Pipsterz yes I was extremely frightened for her
Mine asked to meet him with our children ! Went into our house after I left to grap paperwork saw a sawed off shotgun on the floor 😪! I knew this wasn't going to be a happy meeting ! Hid our kid's and myself for a while scared for our lives 😪😪😪
She may have wanted to sell her house and relocate somewhere he couldn't find her. We all know that unless a guy is prosecuted and locked away, she won't be safe.
Even if she moves elsewhere, public records will eventually be available. Name changes are also traceable in many instances. It's difficult to be completely safe nowadays if a person owns or rents a home and/or vehicle plus has a legitimate job. Not enough is done to protect the victims whose abusers (who already threatened violence or did commit violence) are living as free citizens.
And when he gets back out…
And when he gets out, he will know exactly where to "avoid"
This Gentleman who walked the poor young woman through the Process of Protecting herself and her little boy, just earned a Thumbs Up and my Subscription as well! He made a difference in their lives, for sure!
This was my situation. He wouldn't leave my house. He didn't help me with anything, taking care of the baby, chores, bills. I wanted to sell the house to just get out of the relationship. I had to sneak out of my house to see a lawyer and get a restraining order to get him out. These abusers are crazy. They feel entitled to own you, your property, your children.
The nerve to not even pay anything but want to control everything 😳glad you got out of that .
I am going thru this now. He threatens to burn the house down
@@annamarie2754 I'm so sorry to hear that. Have you reached out to any domestic violence hotline or anything for advice and assistance?
Sounds like my storu too.
Today I am safe!!
@@annamarie2754 PLEASE please please take every threat seriously. Get a restraining order and purchase a gun. Take a class or have a good friend show you how to use it. Do not tell him about the gun. Leave the house and stay with family. Surround yourself with friends and/or family. Do not think he won't kill you. Get armed and get strong!
Unbelievable how domestic violence can destroy people’s lives.
Domestic violence and substance abuse; I hear substance abuse.
Domestic violence is the second most deadly call for police, next to break and enter robberies
Unbelievable how many SAY they would stand against it UNTIL it’s their brother, their son, their friend, their coworker…..”but he’s such a nice guy”…they simply cannot believe it.
Until we understand AS A SOCIETY that abusers are not the Hollywood portrayed maniacs throwing lamps and raging chaos. Abusers are very much IN control - that’s why they’re abusers. They are in control. It is calculated and manipulated.
This is why I wanted to be a cop
What's really unbelievable is how women seem to like jerks...If he was nice, she probably would've dumped him a long time ago!
This call scared the S--T out of me! It was all too real. My wife and I were in Vietnam visiting her parents (I married into a Vietnamese family). My sister in law, wife's younger sister, shows up one day with her son. I see a big bruise on her arm, and she is complaining about her left rib area. She was rushed to the hospital. Her husband (now former husband shows up). I tell him that if he wants to see his wife he will have to punch me out. I am bigger the him. He backs down. Ultimately, the now former husband ended up in jail that night. I blocked his punch and pinned him. By this time the cops came.
My sister in law did recover. Her son and her moved in with her parents, and away from him. My father in law told the husband that he is not welcome at their house. My sister in law has recovered, and has grown closer to my wife (her sister). My sister in law is doing much better now, and her son is doing well. The former husband is still in jail.
Dave, you and your team handled the woman's situation at a professional and very humanitarian level.
Abusive partners never start out with physical abuse, it starts with beating down your self confidence and isolating you from support systems. Bless her because the courage it took for her to make that call was incredible. She will need some counseling and help no doubt. DV is such an awful family issue.
It start with love bombing, then the removal of the pedestal, then the rest begins.
I spent 20 years in that situation until I finally left. God bless her.
Amen
I was in an abusive relationship. Took me years to get out of because of all the mental abuse. and now I am free. and happy. and a single mother..
I know one across the street. She's so scared, she's totally cut herself off from us. I didn't hear/ see her for years. He's attempted to kill her a few times, probably because he couldn't figure out how to get her money.
I have never been so scared listening to this show in my life. That poor woman, I hope she is okay!
I agree. I usually have this playing in the back ground as I'm working on other stuff, but this made me pause. I was like wth is going on. I hope he provides an update. Jesus Lord!
Mary Hornsby the good thing is that Dave and his team are offering all their help to her, so hopefully things will work out alright.
This comment section is like therapy for all of us who were perturbed just listening to the call and experiencing how the situation was affecting her.
I love the empathy Dave shows, but:
This woman needs an exit extrategy. A woman is the most susceptible to being killed by her aggressor as she is trying to leave them.
That's why she wants to sell. She can call the police, but she has got to move.
This episode needs viewer discretion advised
This got me very choked up. I hope she's doing so much better today and is safe.
This poor woman, you can tell she just needed someone to reach out to, not for her debt but for help in this situation. I’m glad that they handled this the way they did instead of just brushing her off and telling her that it’s not their problem.
Has Dave ever done that? He wouldn’t get great ratings if he did. I don’t think he had a choice here.
@@cconroy1677 honestly havent really watche d this channel so no clue. but either way I hope she took what he said to heart
Real men don't treat women like that
This call was gut wrenching. No all heroes wear a cape. God bless you Dave.
Dave is a boss. What a calm, collected, and accurate response.
One thing I do love about the folks on this show is they have 0 tolerance for abuse and other bs. It's a financial advice show but these kinds of situations will prevent any financial progress full stop.
The most dangerous time is when you leave
Oh god, yeah. You never know if you’ll just see them in a store or something. Then if you do, you gotta worry about getting followed.
Especially when you leave!
@@Yourlibrarianand they will follow!
You can hear in her voice she was frightened. Trying to stay strong to figure a plan out. Much respect to Ramsey for his care and concern and pray this woman safely got out of her situation.
Sometimes all it takes is a conversation from someone who actually genuinely wants you to be safe.
I can see how proud his daughter is of how he handled this situation. Wish my dad was this protective
I'm so sorry he isn't.
@@susancnw59 thank you Susan, I appreciate that
Way to go Dave. Financial advice is not even the best of his work, the man has a lot of wisdom.
Agreed. That's Dave for you. He is a people advocate in general.
Financial advice is only like 20% of why Dave is worth listening to. He is a wise, caring man has helped millions of people.
Wow. You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.
Unfortunately this is way to common in the US. I’ve been in a situation like this as a child and the only way it can change is by leaving.
@@shawnm9237 Shawn, I'm glad you made it out.
She could be faking it too. If she was in danger, she would've left, call 911, and start the process of eviction against boyfriend number 70. Also, she would have applied for a restraining order
@@BP-vr3rt anything is possible, but she sounded very afraid and desperate to me.
@@shawnm9237 *too common
I would bet she hadn't talked to her father or brothers for quite awhile. They always try to separate you from family and friends who may help you. She can't live in her house anymore... I wish her safe.
She could be a narcissist too. We don't know the full story here.
Exactly.
@@richardv9648 Narcs never have fear in their voices like this woman does.
Thank you for standing up for this young lady.❤