@@YouKnowImtellingTheTruthverbal abuse drives u crazy but abuse is the driving u crazy just being verbally mean to someone isn’t abusing this is just being verbally mean or aggressive this probably won’t ever happen in a gaslighting relationship because it’s way more deep and manipulative it’s making someone believe there wrong and actually driving someone insane verbal abuse is just hurting someone’s feelings
Most of the time… it’s in less direct ways that allow you to assume the direct statement. “Yeah, no worries. I expected that.” “What?” “You’re always busy, Imma go grab some food with my friends.” With something like this, it’s much easier to feel as if you’re the one at fault. You can clearly hear the words that are being said, but you can’t as clearly hear the intention behind those words. Especially if you’re wrapped up in your own thoughts. It’s your fault he left, you should’ve done better. Maybe he wouldn’t ignore you if you had just stopped being so lazy and just cooked dinner that one night. Everything would be different if that one moment was different.
Exactly! Really good manipulators and abusers are very subtle, it’s hidden and insidious, because then when you even start to catch on it has so much plausible deniability baked in that you will question yourself..and duh, that’s the goal! If someone just calls you useless it will be much easier and quicker for you to see and leave 🤦🏻♀️
My Baby daddy said that to me. Turns out, he was just trying to brainwash me so that I'd never be confident enough to leave his violent self. I bless the name of the Lord for delivering me from that hell
@@LoremIpsumPeach because if you love someone that works all day for you the minimum is to feed them. History of humans always center love with food. Unless you are lazy
Actually, it’s not he’s calling her out because she made excuses she’s not that busy. She’d either still have been busy or should be too tired to be that happy and you’re excusing it because enabling that kind of behavior gives you a reason not to be a better person.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Not even close to gaslighting. Gaslighting is more like leaving the victim question their reality and what they did wrong, and when the victim tries to confront the abuser, he'll just avoid or deny he said that. Maybe if the clip had a follow-up like this and the abuser says "Wtf are you talking I never said" or "I never meant that it was just a joke" then it would be more accurate.
I still have ptsd from my narcissistic mother who would do this all the time. She gaslights everyone and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings. She will make your life a living hell and know it’s her causing the hell but gaslight you so hard you are left thinking maybe she isn’t doing anything wrong and she really loves you
@@joshuafoubert8474 she will never change! Save yourself and leave her. Don’t even call her back or buy her presents. She probably won’t even appreciate them anyway. Run as far as you can from her. Life won’t get any easier for you if you stick around. She’ll manipulate you and try to make it out that everything in her life that went wrong is because of you. Believe me, I lived it for 36years with my mom. 😢I’m now in my 40’s. Still can’t get over that witch.
Gaslighting would be more you tell her not to cook dinner then when you get home yell at her for not cooking "But you said not to" "i never said that!"
Gaslighting is more like youve cooked dinner many times and didnt one day, and then he tells everyone in your family you dont cook everyday when you only missed one day, and tries to dramatize how hungry he was to them to make them gain irritation towards you. Now everyone thinks you dont feed your man right
@@jujumama I think that also falls under #victimcomplex and if u yell back it's #reactiveabuse ! I hate ittttt bc most of the time when peopleee #reactiveabuse and then narc plays dumb/innocent so it's like now youuuu LOOK like the problem but still not
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤️
Gaslighting is when they play dumb to make you question your reality. This is just being verbally abusive. Gaslighting is a lot more confusing and passive aggressive.
Her: Sorry. I'm so useless. I'm at work all day and didn't have time to cook you a 5 course gourmet meal. You deserve a proper wife who will work, make 6 figures, look like a supermodel, cook, clean, do your laundry, iron your shirts, carry your slippers for you. Let's get a divorce so you can find that perfect wife. 😂
And she probably has to take care of the kids at least he gets 2 days off and. A few hours off of work she probably never gets a break and has to work on the weekend as well
Another example would be if she actually did promise him a 5 course meal, in front of a group of people that also chimed in on the conversation, he then comes ready to dig in and everyone apart of the initial conversation all relentlessly deny the conversation ever happened to begin with but they all know it did. That’s a more elaborate type of gaslighting but the purpose is to make the target question their sanity and reality.
Love video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
That’s just straight up abuse. When you have a partner that is gaslighting you, it’s so subtle that you start questioning yourself because they turn everything on you. Gaslighters play the victim and no matter how you try to explain that they are in the wrong, they will argue in a circle until you feel like you’re crazy. It is usually slow and can go on for years because it’s so difficult to recognize.
Usually men like that learned from Their dads or they have underlying hate for women and maybe even themselves. They want to lower your self esteem so you never leave them and can continue to feel in control. A vicious cycle that rarely ever gets better. Once they’re done with you because you start putting up boundaries or once you leave they just look for the next supply/victim.
@@nickjones3860 tell me at one point in my claim was there a fallacy in my assertion and professional opinion? Just because you’re a man does not mean you understand psychology. However, maybe you can shed light on the egregious behavior of the actor in the original post from a masculine perspective?
Or maybe he’s just brutally honest and doesn’t care about her feelings. “That’s why they shouldn’t let dumb bishes read psychology books.”- Mr. Ruckus.
Man here. I have done this. I don't hate women, that is a generalizing fad that needs to stop. My issue is with my absent father and abusive mother. My gf doesn't work, has very little actual chores to do at all, and will sometimes refuse to cook. This gets me real angry. Living off my wage, wants to stay at home and not do shit? What? It's not even about man vs woman anymore, it's about not being a damn freeloader. Sure I could have worded it better, but going around with bottled up anger and sadness is not an easy thing and a partner who doesn't even want to have sex or cook or anything is useless
My ex husband was in the merchant navy on oil tankers. He'd be away months on end. When he returned home (to a spotless house) ,before even asking how I was, he would run his finger along our mantle piece, and check it for dust. Mind you, I saw him for what he was and asked him if he thought I was some kind of a retainer. This was the VERY least of his abuse. I won't depress everyone by listing his faults and abuse. Suffice to say, I left him within 3 years and 2 babies later. He's now a multi millionaire, but a sad and unloved by anyone old sod. Contacts me often from the other side of the world wanting to see me (as if! 😂). Whereas I'm certainly not wealthy, but I AM loved and needed, and know that people care about me for ME, not my money. I enjoy reminding him of what he lost. Revenge is best served cold 😊
Sounds like you were indeed the problem , if you know how a man likes things why not just do it to pls him , thats right because most of you women are selfish af.
Sounds similar to me... when my 2nd child was a baby and I was SAHM He came home and picked up the kettle to check for dust underneath and said "oh you've been cleaning all day? this says different" All while yelling it at me. I was heartbroken, my daughter stopped day naps real quick and I struggled as she cried alot and wanted to be fed alot and was just so demanding, complete opposite to my son yet I still kept the house beautiful and had cooked meals etc This was one of thousands of incidents.
Sounds like a perfectionist, or a mysophobic. Sometimes such people actually mean no harm. No matter what, if it makes you uncomfortable, leaving him is the right thing to do.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you think that your reality is a lie. They try to change the truth. Then they play like you’re crazy because you rather believe the truth.
Gaslighting is when someone is invalidating /disregarding your real feelings,responses,or reactions to their or someone else’s bad behavior towards you.
Some guys does this and laugh and you say WHAT? The cowards say "I didnt say antyhing".Dont let them create WINGS cut them out QUICKLY and SHARPLY.Thats a real RED FLAG right there.
Gaslighting is more like "You didn't make dinner." "Oh i was busy". "You always do this , i miss when you used to love me enough to cook" Then you feel bad because you hurt them and fold in even though you have evey right not to cook
Literally just went through this. Even though I am fussed at for touching anything in his home. And if he misplaces anything it’s my fault and announcements are made saying “I’m not CRAZY! I know you do stuff! When I found out who somebody getting their ass beat” But in my home.. we’ll it’s ok to break everything, holler until the cops are called bc he’s saying things like he will “kill” me, I’ve never put him out my home however he enjoys pleasure in now throwing me out his home after conning me to come over and giving me a key. For this very reason , tonight 2am, myself and my to little a were thrown out like trash during a thunderstorm. I have ruined his life, I offer nothing, and I’m a bum. Despite the fact up until now he stayed with me rent free, took care of his kids when he felt like it, and despite whatever I’ve never called the police, and when the police come I never say anything that would get him in trouble bc I would never want to do that to him.
Please please dear sis, you HAVE to care more about your well being and that of your children than this low life man who has no right to abuse you and treat you like this. You are valuable in the sight of the Lord, but must reframe your focus on Him and seek Him to lead your path and give you an understanding of your identity and worth. From the bottom of my heart, I implore you to muster the courage to GET OUT and DONT LOOK BACK! This will end in total destruction…seek the Heavenly Father while He May be found and pray on your knees for His wisdom and help and He will hear from heaven.
It’s been four months. Please tell me you have moved on or at least held this man responsible for his actions. If not, I hope my comment is a reminder , just incase he love bombed you into staying, or you lost your strength. You deserve better and it’s not okay. ❤️🩹
Hello, ma'am. I read your comment, and I couldn't refrain from answering. I have gotten myself into a very similar situation as yourself, with a very abusive and manipulative deceptive man who treated me exactly like you' re describing, and more... He took pleasure of getting me to tears with severe bullying, gaslighting, and nervous breakdowns... I couldn't figure out what is wrong, and thought he was genuinely sorry every time, but his aggressive outbursts became unbearable. I found the strength to leave, even though feeling like a shell of my former self. And I hope you leave too... It is a not ok, you and me, we deserve better. They'll never change... Peace be with you, sister. I hope you get away from this dangerous man.
As a person who just experienced this with a BPD ex boyfriend who ALSO stole my identity and bled me dry financially for his gambling addiction.. he was very much obsessed with me having to do everything including pay all the bills pay for everything and make his dinner by the time he got home. They are very particular about devaluing you if they’re not waited on hand and foot and are very picky with food.
What if it was dirty dishes and a dirty home. And the husband works away for two weeks at a time. Supports his wife and children, but has to come home to a filthy house. So if he says after walking into the house, “ hmmm I already knew the sink would be full of dishes and the house filthy” and this hurts the woman’s feelings. This makes the man a Gaslighting abusive partner?
Just break up with them, calling them anything and there’s a whole ass term that says that’s not okay. Just BREAK UP if they are actually just straight up useless.
Gaslighting is telling a person that they’re making things up in their head or not recalling an incident correctly to get them to doubt their own judgment and memory.
Gaslighting would be like “I thought you loved me? You know i love food so why wouldn’t you make it? I know you were busy all day but I thought you said i was the most important thing in your life? You’re such a liar.”
That's not gaslighting. What you're describing is manipulation, more precisely emotional blackmail. Gaslighting is also manipulation, but you wouldn't come out as strong. The gaslighter never fights. He always makes the victim get angry while he remains calm.
@@mimio008 Ding ding, emotional blackmail. Thank you - amazes me how many ppl in the world ohhh sooo INCORRECTLY assign personal drama/false examples“gaslighting” Muddying the waters & devalues how incredibly serious, harmful & traumatic gaslighting behavior is.
I have a friend thats in an abusive relationship. Each time we meet, I tell her all the signs, everything she needs to know!!! And she won't leave. She won't change. Nothing is helping. I feel like all of our conversations are super repetitive at this point. And I feel like the 2nd victim in this story because each time she tells me new abusive stories, i feel mentally abused. It's like watching a friend self harm in front of your eyes, yet you can't do anything to help. At this point, im going to distance myself from this friendship because it's become painful to hear what she consciously puts herself through, and my own mental health is being harmed 😢
I didn’t see how it’s gaslighting but now I see it. She said she didn’t Make the food or whatever cause she FORGOT , then when he told her “I knew it would happen” and she asked “why”, he said “cause you’re USELESS”. He changed her words, and he invalidated the actual reason why she didn’t make the food.
I’ve started recording my husband and in a few months I’m going to let him hear all the recordings…so he can hear how ugly he is to me…and how bipolar he sounds. So maybe he will go get some help. I’ve offered to go to counseling and even help him get help with his anger but he refuses so now everytime he starts having a tantrum…I just turn my recorder on and I’m saving them. This morning he had a meltdown because he left pens in his work uniform and they busted in the dryer. Guess who got up and cleaned the ink stained dryer and found the little baby a new uniform??? Yup me. All while being called an a**hole and my voice being made fun of. If I had the financial backing to leave I would but I don’t and honestly I want him to take anger management and work through this because it can be fixed…it’s just hard being treated this way and having to do this.
You absolutely don’t deserve this and I encourage you not to let this man destroy your self-worth or believe any lies spewing from his mouth. You must not expect anyone to change unless they themselves first acknowledge and recognize there’s a problem and seek to get help. He may never change and are you willing to live this abusing and tormenting life that your children are witnessing? I am in a similar boat and I’ll tell you this, enough is enough and financially being in a position to do what you must do for the protection and mental stability of your family , is of the utmost importance. You can do this girl! Find online opportunities, search for ways to build passive income and hustle to find a way out of that is what may need to happen. Above all else, pray and ask the King of Heaven (Yah) to guide and lead your footsteps and open the doors to help you. Trust and seek God as He is our only hope. I highly recommend this video: ua-cam.com/video/IzaBiazHWIg/v-deo.html
Ppl don’t get it 🙄 covert abusers will never be obvious ! Their goal is never so you can blatantly see or understand what is going on…calling someone useless is very obvious! They need to create plausible deniability baked into these interactions so they will make you FEEL useless in subtle ways and gestures etc but there will always be an “out” so that you will second guess yourself that you were over-reacting or misunderstood something…this is why this kind of abuse is insidious and takes years for someone to leave…calling ppl overt names and put downs I’m sure happens but I guarantee most ppl will be out the door or at the very least KNOW what’s going on and happening to them! 🤦🏻♀️
Gaslighting is making someone feel crazy, not verbal abuse like this video depicts
Verbal abuse drives you crazy. Gaslighting is a form of abuse that includes verbal abuse. No difference, really.
@@YouKnowImtellingTheTruthverbal abuse drives u crazy but abuse is the driving u crazy just being verbally mean to someone isn’t abusing this is just being verbally mean or aggressive this probably won’t ever happen in a gaslighting relationship because it’s way more deep and manipulative it’s making someone believe there wrong and actually driving someone insane verbal abuse is just hurting someone’s feelings
@@YouKnowImtellingTheTruthI think you should do some homework or talk to some specialist before saying things that are not accurate...
It was a douche thing to say, but I wouldn't go as far as verbal abuse unless it's consistent
@@YouKnowImtellingTheTruthI was about to say this. This person doesn't know abuse at all.
That's NOT gaslighting. That's verbal abuse.
Fair
Social media loves to make a word trendy, and then ppl start to wrongly use it everywhere lol
Same thing really
That's not verbal abuse, it's the truth.
I agree, that's just direct abuse. Gas lighting is ....I knew you wasn't going to be able to cook. You never cook for me😊
Gaslighting is far more manipulative and less straightforward than this ‘by far’…
Agreed
Most of the time… it’s in less direct ways that allow you to assume the direct statement.
“Yeah, no worries. I expected that.”
“What?”
“You’re always busy, Imma go grab some food with my friends.”
With something like this, it’s much easier to feel as if you’re the one at fault. You can clearly hear the words that are being said, but you can’t as clearly hear the intention behind those words. Especially if you’re wrapped up in your own thoughts.
It’s your fault he left, you should’ve done better. Maybe he wouldn’t ignore you if you had just stopped being so lazy and just cooked dinner that one night. Everything would be different if that one moment was different.
That's not gaslighting thats just straight up bullying
Gas lighting is way more subtle this is just straight up bullying
I don't know, I don't really think gaslighting is a thing, I think you're just trying to make me look stupid.
Fr
@@criticality8522that's gaslighting 😅
@TheMatrixofMeaning i don't think that's what it means, please stop manipulating me into thinking that's what it means
Exactly! Really good manipulators and abusers are very subtle, it’s hidden and insidious, because then when you even start to catch on it has so much plausible deniability baked in that you will question yourself..and duh, that’s the goal! If someone just calls you useless it will be much easier and quicker for you to see and leave 🤦🏻♀️
“You’re useless” is a wild statement to make 😂
Does she stay at home all day? How hard is it to heat up a can of vegetables and make mashed potatoes from a box and put something frozen in the oven
My Baby daddy said that to me. Turns out, he was just trying to brainwash me so that I'd never be confident enough to leave his violent self. I bless the name of the Lord for delivering me from that hell
@Liberalcali if its so easy why don't he do it himself?
@@LoremIpsumPeach because if you love someone that works all day for you the minimum is to feed them. History of humans always center love with food. Unless you are lazy
I would’ve laughed in there face lol and walked out
That’s not gaslighting, it’s just insulting.
Fr
Right! I hope this dude isn't in mental health.
😂😂😂 so true
That's exactly what I said b 4 I saw your comment
And manipilation...
Gaslighting would be denying he ever said that when faced with the consequences
Somebody need to do some more homework on gaslighting
😂
A LOT more homework.
Yeah, this is just staight up devaluation. Gaslighting would be denying the devaluation ever occurred
Right. Anything for views. They just took a word and ran with it.
The content isn’t gaslighting but the entire post is…
Somebody didn’t read the definition to gaslighting 😂
He’s gaslighting us with this video 😂💀
Haha I just wrote that before I saw this comment. Wit ftw!
Exactly lol
I think so too 😂😂
HONESTLY!!! lolllll!!!
😂😂😂
WE WOULD BE DONE THERE IS NO COMING BACK FROM THAT!!!
this isn’t gaslighting, this is just straight up degrading behavior.
Actually, it’s not he’s calling her out because she made excuses she’s not that busy. She’d either still have been busy or should be too tired to be that happy and you’re excusing it because enabling that kind of behavior gives you a reason not to be a better person.
@@renepcj4017you need help 😂
Naw he’s right .. hoes are to emotional got to be blunt and tell them .. otherwise they will tear you apart
Wrong it's the truth. She home and not doing Her job
@@natela_mk well if true then you need to be in a mental hospital for engaging with me
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is Father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive ❤️
Not even close to gaslighting. Gaslighting is more like leaving the victim question their reality and what they did wrong, and when the victim tries to confront the abuser, he'll just avoid or deny he said that. Maybe if the clip had a follow-up like this and the abuser says "Wtf are you talking I never said" or "I never meant that it was just a joke" then it would be more accurate.
I still have ptsd from my narcissistic mother who would do this all the time. She gaslights everyone and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings. She will make your life a living hell and know it’s her causing the hell but gaslight you so hard you are left thinking maybe she isn’t doing anything wrong and she really loves you
Busy all day lies and crap
@@joshuafoubert8474 she will never change! Save yourself and leave her. Don’t even call her back or buy her presents. She probably won’t even appreciate them anyway.
Run as far as you can from her. Life won’t get any easier for you if you stick around. She’ll manipulate you and try to make it out that everything in her life that went wrong is because of you. Believe me, I lived it for 36years with my mom. 😢I’m now in my 40’s. Still can’t get over that witch.
@@galaxyqueen8835i understand.... But sometimes she acts like she cares... Making tea & then usual stuff goes " u see, no one can be like mother... "
🎯
That took me off guard 😂
Gaslighting would be more you tell her not to cook dinner then when you get home yell at her for not cooking
"But you said not to" "i never said that!"
Exactly!! 💯 Perfect example.
Bingo!
No its not. @user-jp5ou6jx5l
Gaslighting is more like youve cooked dinner many times and didnt one day, and then he tells everyone in your family you dont cook everyday when you only missed one day, and tries to dramatize how hungry he was to them to make them gain irritation towards you. Now everyone thinks you dont feed your man right
@@jujumama I think that also falls under #victimcomplex and if u yell back it's #reactiveabuse ! I hate ittttt bc most of the time when peopleee #reactiveabuse and then narc plays dumb/innocent so it's like now youuuu LOOK like the problem but still not
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤️
That escalated quickly lol
Ong🤣🤣🤣
It jumped up a notch.
Woahhhhhhhhhh????? If yo person talks to you like this leave. Please. You are worth so much more.
Gaslighting is when they play dumb to make you question your reality. This is just being verbally abusive. Gaslighting is a lot more confusing and passive aggressive.
😢
You fools! The gas lights when you turn on the damn stove
. DUH
😂😂
This isn’t gaslighting, he’s just insulting her. People throw around terms like gas lighting or narcissistic abuse before doing their homework.
Dis gas ain’t gon light itself!!
Her: Sorry. I'm so useless. I'm at work all day and didn't have time to cook you a 5 course gourmet meal.
You deserve a proper wife who will work, make 6 figures, look like a supermodel, cook, clean, do your laundry, iron your shirts, carry your slippers for you.
Let's get a divorce so you can find that perfect wife. 😂
Now when did she say that?
REDRUM😈
This is an ideal answer for an abuser, after which you get out and leave forever...
And she probably has to take care of the kids at least he gets 2 days off and. A few hours off of work she probably never gets a break and has to work on the weekend as well
That’s not gaslighting… that’s a direct hit. No confusion around that
That's not gaslighting. It's just abusive.
Insulting not abusive
abusive cause he called her useless lmfao
@@bananamawnyt6307yes verbal & emotional abuse.
@@TheSweetie223 if she called him useless is that abuse?
But gaslighting is abusive as well tho..
He’s useless for not taking his girl out to Dinner!
Gaslighting would be if he claims you had promise him a 5 course meal upon his return home and you never did. 😅
Another example would be if she actually did promise him a 5 course meal, in front of a group of people that also chimed in on the conversation, he then comes ready to dig in and everyone apart of the initial conversation all relentlessly deny the conversation ever happened to begin with but they all know it did. That’s a more elaborate type of gaslighting but the purpose is to make the target question their sanity and reality.
Thats not Gaslighting that's just speaking the truth.
Spoken like a person who has never been gaslit 😂😂😂😂
Love video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?
His name is Owen Abiola, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.
How about cooking and cleaning
That’s just straight up abuse. When you have a partner that is gaslighting you, it’s so subtle that you start questioning yourself because they turn everything on you. Gaslighters play the victim and no matter how you try to explain that they are in the wrong, they will argue in a circle until you feel like you’re crazy. It is usually slow and can go on for years because it’s so difficult to recognize.
My guy couldn't stop looking at the bare stove!!!!!😂
That was literally straight to the point. I wish i had that honesty instead of wonder for the wasted years. With passive aggressive abuses.
LMFAAOOOO THE CUT OFF IM SO DEAD 🤣🤣🤣 “IM USELESS???😰”
This is not gaslighting. Please research what the definition really is. This is just verbally abusive.
Womp womp
LOL that's the last time he'd ever have to look my "useless self" in the face.
Talk about telling someone they aren't wanted!
babes, this isn't gaslighting... this is arson 💀
help where did you get arson from😭
@@vote_igor the gas was lit so hard it turned into a fire.... arson 😁
Man this is pure gold! This humour is right up my alley! Unreal..love it and sooo true
That's not gaslighting. Its bullying and verbal abuse with projection of negative labels onto other people!
Not that deep lol
Thats not abuse, you're just weak minded
Holy smokes… wow. I’m not usually attracted to choco-ladies but this one is 🔥
Definitely abuse and not gaslighting.
They gaslit you into thinking there would be gaslighting in this video
Usually men like that learned from
Their dads or they have underlying hate for women and maybe even themselves. They want to lower your self esteem so you never leave them and can continue to feel in control. A vicious cycle that rarely ever gets better. Once they’re done with you because you start putting up boundaries or once you leave they just look for the next supply/victim.
You don’t understand men at all
@@nickjones3860 tell me at one point in my claim was there a fallacy in my assertion and professional opinion? Just because you’re a man does not mean you understand psychology. However, maybe you can shed light on the egregious behavior of the actor in the original post from a masculine perspective?
Or maybe he’s just brutally honest and doesn’t care about her feelings.
“That’s why they shouldn’t let dumb bishes read psychology books.”- Mr. Ruckus.
@@nickjones3860Go away bot
Man here. I have done this. I don't hate women, that is a generalizing fad that needs to stop. My issue is with my absent father and abusive mother.
My gf doesn't work, has very little actual chores to do at all, and will sometimes refuse to cook.
This gets me real angry. Living off my wage, wants to stay at home and not do shit? What? It's not even about man vs woman anymore, it's about not being a damn freeloader. Sure I could have worded it better, but going around with bottled up anger and sadness is not an easy thing and a partner who doesn't even want to have sex or cook or anything is useless
Add in him chuckling and saying, “Oh, quit getting so defensive. You take everything so serious.”
Lmfaooo that’s not gas lighting that pure honesty 😂
Someone told me I gaslight, but she wore the same jeans seven days in a row😂
Good one 😂
That's when you heat up the grits, but those aren't for dinner 👀 😂.
If people keep misusing the word gaslighting it will completely lose its meaning. It has a strict definition.
“I’m useless?!”😂😂😂
That’s not gaslighting. That’s being outright disrespectful.
My ex husband was in the merchant navy on oil tankers. He'd be away months on end. When he returned home (to a spotless house) ,before even asking how I was, he would run his finger along our mantle piece, and check it for dust. Mind you, I saw him for what he was and asked him if he thought I was some kind of a retainer. This was the VERY least of his abuse. I won't depress everyone by listing his faults and abuse. Suffice to say, I left him within 3 years and 2 babies later. He's now a multi millionaire, but a sad and unloved by anyone old sod. Contacts me often from the other side of the world wanting to see me (as if! 😂). Whereas I'm certainly not wealthy, but I AM loved and needed, and know that people care about me for ME, not my money. I enjoy reminding him of what he lost. Revenge is best served cold 😊
Sounds like you were indeed the problem , if you know how a man likes things why not just do it to pls him , thats right because most of you women are selfish af.
What the worst did he do?...
Sounds similar to me... when my 2nd child was a baby and I was SAHM He came home and picked up the kettle to check for dust underneath and said "oh you've been cleaning all day? this says different" All while yelling it at me. I was heartbroken, my daughter stopped day naps real quick and I struggled as she cried alot and wanted to be fed alot and was just so demanding, complete opposite to my son yet I still kept the house beautiful and had cooked meals etc This was one of thousands of incidents.
Job well done….
Sounds like a perfectionist, or a mysophobic. Sometimes such people actually mean no harm. No matter what, if it makes you uncomfortable, leaving him is the right thing to do.
Then when you get mad they called you useless all the sudden youre the bad guy
It’s often waaaaay more subtle than that
That's not gaslighting, that's correct observation
Gaslighting is when someone makes you think that your reality is a lie. They try to change the truth. Then they play like you’re crazy because you rather believe the truth.
lol her face when she hugged him you could tell she didn’t want to 😂
This couple is unqualified to demonstrate this issue.
Gaslighting is when someone is invalidating /disregarding your real feelings,responses,or reactions to their or someone else’s bad behavior towards you.
Some guys does this and laugh and you say WHAT? The cowards say "I didnt say antyhing".Dont let them create WINGS cut them out QUICKLY and SHARPLY.Thats a real RED FLAG right there.
Yknow what it’s actually really sweet that you guys can’t act this out realistically. Always remember to appreciate that.
I think he’s letting u know how he feels lol🤧
Yes cuz if this is a repeated pattern she obviously doesn't respect her man foh talking bout gas lighting lol
Gaslighting is more like
"You didn't make dinner."
"Oh i was busy".
"You always do this , i miss when you used to love me enough to cook"
Then you feel bad because you hurt them and fold in even though you have evey right not to cook
There is a gas stove, that’s it.
He better be paying 100% of your expenses girl if he's asking for cooking.
Literally just went through this. Even though I am fussed at for touching anything in his home. And if he misplaces anything it’s my fault and announcements are made saying “I’m not CRAZY! I know you do stuff! When I found out who somebody getting their ass beat” But in my home.. we’ll it’s ok to break everything, holler until the cops are called bc he’s saying things like he will “kill” me, I’ve never put him out my home however he enjoys pleasure in now throwing me out his home after conning me to come over and giving me a key. For this very reason , tonight 2am, myself and my to little a were thrown out like trash during a thunderstorm. I have ruined his life, I offer nothing, and I’m a bum. Despite the fact up until now he stayed with me rent free, took care of his kids when he felt like it, and despite whatever I’ve never called the police, and when the police come I never say anything that would get him in trouble bc I would never want to do that to him.
Please please dear sis, you HAVE to care more about your well being and that of your children than this low life man who has no right to abuse you and treat you like this. You are valuable in the sight of the Lord, but must reframe your focus on Him and seek Him to lead your path and give you an understanding of your identity and worth.
From the bottom of my heart, I implore you to muster the courage to GET OUT and DONT LOOK BACK! This will end in total destruction…seek the Heavenly Father while He May be found and pray on your knees for His wisdom and help and He will hear from heaven.
LEAVE HIM AND TAKE YOUR KIDS.
It’s been four months. Please tell me you have moved on or at least held this man responsible for his actions. If not, I hope my comment is a reminder , just incase he love bombed you into staying, or you lost your strength. You deserve better and it’s not okay. ❤️🩹
There really is no reason to stay with him. Not one. You can do this.
One day it will click and you’ll realize this, and you’ll leave.
Hello, ma'am. I read your comment, and I couldn't refrain from answering. I have gotten myself into a very similar situation as yourself, with a very abusive and manipulative deceptive man who treated me exactly like you' re describing, and more... He took pleasure of getting me to tears with severe bullying, gaslighting, and nervous breakdowns...
I couldn't figure out what is wrong, and thought he was genuinely sorry every time, but his aggressive outbursts became unbearable. I found the strength to leave, even though feeling like a shell of my former self. And I hope you leave too...
It is a not ok, you and me, we deserve better.
They'll never change...
Peace be with you, sister.
I hope you get away from this dangerous man.
That's just straight up being a bully lol
Don’t even question it. And certainly don’t laugh it off. The minute an insult comes out his mouth you simply tell him to leave.
Unfortunately in most circumstances she lives with him and can't leave or has no where to go lol. It's a sad ordeal but it happens
He would single asf 😂
SINGLE IS RIGHT WTF DOES HE THINK HE IS 😂😂😂.
That’s not gaslighting. That’s flat out rude and disrespectful.
That's what narcissists usually say
As a person who just experienced this with a BPD ex boyfriend who ALSO stole my identity and bled me dry financially for his gambling addiction.. he was very much obsessed with me having to do everything including pay all the bills pay for everything and make his dinner by the time he got home. They are very particular about devaluing you if they’re not waited on hand and foot and are very picky with food.
I see a lot of folks don't know the actual definition of gaslighting.
What if it was dirty dishes and a dirty home. And the husband works away for two weeks at a time. Supports his wife and children, but has to come home to a filthy house. So if he says after walking into the house, “ hmmm I already knew the sink would be full of dishes and the house filthy” and this hurts the woman’s feelings. This makes the man a Gaslighting abusive partner?
Man…he’s about to lose a real one.
That’s not gaslighting. That directly demeaning.
Just break up with them, calling them anything and there’s a whole ass term that says that’s not okay. Just BREAK UP if they are actually just straight up useless.
😂right
Gaslighting is telling a person that they’re making things up in their head or not recalling an incident correctly to get them to doubt their own judgment and memory.
It is so frustrating being apart of the culture that creates new meanings to already defined words. 😫
This is not gaslighting! It's insulting.
That may be insulting, however the truth hurts.
Gaslighting would be like “I thought you loved me? You know i love food so why wouldn’t you make it? I know you were busy all day but I thought you said i was the most important thing in your life? You’re such a liar.”
That's not gaslighting. What you're describing is manipulation, more precisely emotional blackmail.
Gaslighting is also manipulation, but you wouldn't come out as strong. The gaslighter never fights. He always makes the victim get angry while he remains calm.
@@mimio008 Ding ding, emotional blackmail. Thank you - amazes me how many ppl in the world ohhh sooo INCORRECTLY assign personal drama/false examples“gaslighting”
Muddying the waters & devalues how incredibly serious, harmful & traumatic gaslighting behavior is.
Gaslighting is subtle and makes you question things about yourself.
I thought he was about to communicate. He just crushed her🎉
I have a friend thats in an abusive relationship. Each time we meet, I tell her all the signs, everything she needs to know!!! And she won't leave. She won't change. Nothing is helping. I feel like all of our conversations are super repetitive at this point. And I feel like the 2nd victim in this story because each time she tells me new abusive stories, i feel mentally abused. It's like watching a friend self harm in front of your eyes, yet you can't do anything to help. At this point, im going to distance myself from this friendship because it's become painful to hear what she consciously puts herself through, and my own mental health is being harmed 😢
I didn’t see how it’s gaslighting but now I see it. She said she didn’t Make the food or whatever cause she FORGOT , then when he told her “I knew it would happen” and she asked “why”, he said “cause you’re USELESS”. He changed her words, and he invalidated the actual reason why she didn’t make the food.
Why do I feel lyk she described her in the nicest way possible😂
I’ve started recording my husband and in a few months I’m going to let him hear all the recordings…so he can hear how ugly he is to me…and how bipolar he sounds. So maybe he will go get some help. I’ve offered to go to counseling and even help him get help with his anger but he refuses so now everytime he starts having a tantrum…I just turn my recorder on and I’m saving them. This morning he had a meltdown because he left pens in his work uniform and they busted in the dryer. Guess who got up and cleaned the ink stained dryer and found the little baby a new uniform??? Yup me. All while being called an a**hole and my voice being made fun of. If I had the financial backing to leave I would but I don’t and honestly I want him to take anger management and work through this because it can be fixed…it’s just hard being treated this way and having to do this.
You absolutely don’t deserve this and I encourage you not to let this man destroy your self-worth or believe any lies spewing from his mouth. You must not expect anyone to change unless they themselves first acknowledge and recognize there’s a problem and seek to get help.
He may never change and are you willing to live this abusing and tormenting life that your children are witnessing? I am in a similar boat and I’ll tell you this, enough is enough and financially being in a position to do what you must do for the protection and mental stability of your family , is of the utmost importance. You can do this girl! Find online opportunities, search for ways to build passive income and hustle to find a way out of that is what may need to happen. Above all else, pray and ask the King of Heaven (Yah) to guide and lead your footsteps and open the doors to help you. Trust and seek God as He is our only hope.
I highly recommend this video: ua-cam.com/video/IzaBiazHWIg/v-deo.html
Sounds like a narcissist
Don't be surprised, he will probably still deny. Recordings aren't going to help sadly.
I’m a gaslighting expert.. and this isn’t gaslighting but straight up savage! 😂
This is called " Countering", a type of gaslighting
Wrong, this isn’t gaslighting at all.
Feed the man!
“You’re useless” is not gaslighting, it’s a rude insult. Please delete this and make a correct video.
Ppl don’t get it 🙄 covert abusers will never be obvious ! Their goal is never so you can blatantly see or understand what is going on…calling someone useless is very obvious! They need to create plausible deniability baked into these interactions so they will make you FEEL useless in subtle ways and gestures etc but there will always be an “out” so that you will second guess yourself that you were over-reacting or misunderstood something…this is why this kind of abuse is insidious and takes years for someone to leave…calling ppl overt names and put downs I’m sure happens but I guarantee most ppl will be out the door or at the very least KNOW what’s going on and happening to them! 🤦🏻♀️
With Gaslighting you don't know you're being insulted until you've had a chance to process what was said or done
Change relationships to self esteem and thats what's I go through in a panic attack😂
That's not gaslighting. He told her like it is 😂
This is the woman gaslighting him and he was just honest
@@Liberalcali You have a point, but the man could’ve been nicer about it.
@@CarlosRodriguez-lt2kw you have a point yoo
He outrightly insulted her, he didn’t gaslight her
My brother said I was useless. He never said why. I don’t recall ever asking him for anything, except a ride to church once.
"I was busy all day" - she's definitely gaslighting
Wow why would you even talk or be in a relationship with someone whom spoke to you like that to begin with??? That’s wild
The most sinister type of gaslighting is much more subtle than this.