Of course, but sometimes you just thought through all the thoughts and you cried all the tears and now you are just ruminating irrelevant things. And sometimes the only thing helping is distracting yourself from reliving this over and over again. It’s also unhealthy to stay in this hole and cry your eyes out forever. But I agree you should always let you emotions out but also don’t stay stuck in them forever
I think the key of her whole talk was "friends" good friends are really hard to come by and great support, encouragement and unconditional love at any time and especially when you're broken can become the catalyst of how one moves through grief. You can only do things for so long, by yourself. People need to remember that a break-up is similar to the patterns and stages of grief one experiences when someone they love dies, saying statement's like 'get over it,' there's more fish in the sea,' when one door door shuts another one opens' while perhaps well intention-ed, lack compassion, lack the heart needed when your own heart feels broken.
I have this theory that the "getting over the relationship" half life is the same as the length of your relationship: by the time you've doubled the time, you're over it. This applies only to certain relationships I found but to all those posting here, I've been through several breaks (the longest relationships were 5 and 2 years) and I'm now married for 20+ years. So yes, it inevitably gets better but the only thing that works consistently is time. Give it time, be easy with yourself, and this too shall pass. Also worth remembering the Serenity Prayer: you can't control other people's actions: "Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Every break up has it's own story, most of them are traumatic and I was one wo had experienced it. I thought I'm not gonna heal anymore but time is the ultimate healer. All you have to do is just embrace the pain but be sure that at the end of the day you'll make yourself okay because break up is not the end but perhaps it's the start of something new.
It’s also okay to feel your emotions to the fullest and not distract yourself every chance you get. I would actually argue that most of the time, grieving a loss and feeling it is very important. Of course we need relief from this and it’s great to try new things. But it’s also important to just lay in bed and cry and sit with your emotions.
Wow... Cruises, a supportive family, home interior design makeovers, concerts and film festivals, lots of friends with free food and money, a fun visit to a psychic, plenty of vacation time(?) from work, some road trips, and a super cute new Sonic Youth shirt? Am I the only who can't relate to ANY of that?
I missed most of that I got to the point where she was crying to her landscaper to get her lawn mowed. Since she didn't decide to mow it herself I decided she wasn't worth listening too.
We know the tips and books, we have to read after such breakups.. and there are some takeaways from this too. But It takes huge courage to share your story to the world. She is an amazing women!! So thank you Cari.
One of the best Ted talk on breakup. Loved it. It had some rational steps and ideas on how to recover than many people just telling you that breakup could be good thing. As for the female privilege or being in France, losing a 4.5 years of relationship fucking hurts bad no matter where or who on the Earth you are.
Yep, all good comments below all reflecting the person's perspective and orientation. Breakups are Quite Impossible, for a while of course, and I've found I can only embrace the pain as fully as possible; yes Staying Busy and Involved in life is critical(!), but Feel the pain and do things anyway. Do NOT repress it, deny it, ignore it. It loses it's power over you the more you Face it; talk about it, Write about it. Hardest goddamn thing I experienced when wife left. We struggle over the Whys and Wherefores, but you know what? Most people aren't really sure Why, seldom fully understand it themselves. It Just Happens That Way. Also, even if the Other DOES know 'why,' exactly, sometimes it's better NOT to tell them. Really. Life can be such Crap in these experiences, but it does get better this way...most of the time! Do NOT give up or in. Cheers, all..
Great advise!!...going through the same thing. Questions always pop-up but in the end it doesn't matter. All that is left is yourself and your broken-heart... Only you can heal it!❤
Everyone is so hyperfocused on her finances. Seriously people?! I guess if you work hard to create a comfortable life you aren't allowed to feel any emotional devastation - even if its caused by an @-hole that breaks up after 4 years over the phone! She's merely trying to give positive advice - and even states that she was fortunate to be in her position through the whole ordeal. Thank you for sharing you heart and thoughts to those open to looking for positive suggestions in moving forward in their own lives. 💗
When you have money is easier to deal with a heartbreak. I was crying in Paris over my previous breakup. It was not so bad. This time around I cannot afford the same luxury so it's more painful.
@@TammieSchaffer I think it does to a certain extend. When you don’t have the Ressources to distract yourself or even when you have to move out and don’t have the Money to do that so you Life in a small Apartment with like a mattrace then yeah it’s probably harder to get over it
wow! she is super pruvileged. friends put her on planes to distract her? man, I'd just like to have friends who invite me over for coffee! wish I had her resources.
After a brief look through the comments, people are either complaining/jealous about her finances and expensive trips or complaining about this not being a traditional "TED talk". I'm pretty sure everyone experiences heartbreak, regardless of wealth or other life experience. With that in mind, I think this video is much more human and "relateable" than some other TED talks.
marhie siccuan _First things first you need to know what mistakes you have done to her to gave you an idea on how to win her back and apologize to her deeply. Then, thats the time you act on the things that should be acted upon to bring her back._
hey marhie, you should purchased this program offered by: *getyourexbackn0w.blogspot.com* It has its all the things you need to learn to win her back. I myself tried it and it worked for me ^__^
Thank you so much! I'm going through this situation NOW. I've always been the type to dwell on why it didn't work I even question myself, but there's a reason for every situation....
One of the best things to do after a relationship dies, is to do an autopsy on the relationship. If you are honest with yourself, you will not need a psychic. You will see what happened, and why. He broke up with you while you were surrounded by loved ones there to support you. Also, what are you doing cruising around without your beloved?
i THINK THIS WAS A GREAT TALK. It is perhaps something that only someone else who has dealt with sort of struggle and loss will understand or appreciate. This ted talk is a raw account of how lost and broken you can become after intertwining your life with someone. To be faced with being blindsided and broken and she is reminding us that we are human and thats ok, and not everyone is made of stone. I am grateful for this as I have gone through similar pain after a for year relationship . Every person and their story is different but to share an authentic experience such as this one may reach only one other person so that they know they aren't alone and accepting your feelings is crucial ... yea.
What lessons did she really learn from the breakup? For me, it sounds like she avoided the situation and experience of going through the breakup by distracting herself. So how can she get get over the breakup up if she avoided thinking about it? The heart needs time to heal. I thought she was going to reveal what she learned about herself during this difficult time.
TED Talks are supposed to be from experts on real issues and solutions. Not cell phone videos of a women's retreat who have no real insight into anything but their myopic experience,
I think it's best to let the raw emotions manifest as you heal, so that you when (if you chose to) you get into the next relationship, you won't carry that weight into it.
I appreciate my friends for helping me-but no one pulled me out of my environment. I was mainly encouraged to pray-which is great, but it is not everything that’s needed to heal from a breakup.
I had a similar set of lessons from a break up myself. It can be a rubbish time, but if we deal with it right can be formative in a really positive way.
I'm in a very emotionally hard period in my life. I was in a turbulent relationship for one year. One year might sound minor to some, but after this breaking up I feell that my life is so empty and I actually hesitate to move on. I suffer so much, cannot sleep,eat, I'm dying inside. At the beginning I was blaming my ex for the most of things that went wrong, but now I cannot help myself but feeling guilty that I let him down and didn't recognise when he needed me the most. I loved him and still love so much, but obviously didn't show him in a way he needed. He don't want me anymore in his life, and even though I know I should let him go to find his happiness, I feel urge to do something and fight for him. And I cannot forgive myself Ppl how did you fix yourself and accept walking alone after being one with other?
Just got dumped 2 days ago...I started blaming myself for so many things. Don't try to bottle up your feelings, let them show. Stop asking yourself on the things you "should've" done different. Start to care about your body, your mind and your heart. Step by step, you will be better. We will be better.
I know this is written easier than done, but blaming yourself doesn’t help anybody. Neither him nor yourself. So you have to look forward on what opportunities you have now. Maybe there are some things you couldn’t have done in this relationship (for example move away because his job was in a city you didn’t like, maybe you have more time for friends now or hobbies, maybe you can go for your dream job or whatever it is). Also it helped me to think about it as fate. It just shouldn’t be. Also this one sentence helped me a lot: The relationship didn’t fail, it was completed. Maybe this one year was the time you were supposed to be together, it maybe changed the two of you for the better, you learned something etc. So you got everything out of this relationship that was supposed to come out of it. Now a new chapter begins. I am positive that this new chapter will bring you joy and happiness!
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
Hello strangers on youtube This has nothing to do with Ted Talks this is just my breakup story and it's the honest to god reality, I didn't try to make myself look good or her bad, just the documented facts. I do believe my story is unique in many ways but someone might still learn a thing or two from it. So read if you want and if not well this is a place for me to get something off my chest, sorry. Well you see I didn't have a happy childhood, my mother had these issues and would erupt in anger over nothing and beat me bloody as the eldest child, my father was either unwilling or incapable of interfering and protecting me. So from a very young age I had no real emotional and caring support in my household and had numerous times attempted to escape. That's the context and that's where my ex came in my life. She was the first girl who expressed interest in me (I was always to shy to approach girls) and by the first time she held my hand I fell for her completely as a means to obtain love and affection. She even had an affair but like a chump I forgave her and in the 8 years that we were together not once I mentioned that. Not only that but after a year or so from the start of the relationship (and before her affair) I immigrated to Canada and then secretly and without telling anyone in my family I married her and sponsored here. I had obtained a master's from a Canadian university but as we were starting our lives together and needed money and as finding a job for me was taking too long I took on minimum paying jobs to support my family while she attended classes for new immigrant women which offered job placements. And that's how she got her foot in. After she got her steady job I tried to get into the job market myself but all I could get was temporary and project based positions while she (being the hard worker and workaholic she is) slowly advanced in her career. I won't lie here, I was dealing with depression and feelings of adequacy all these years and my unemployment was weighing heavily on me but in all instances I did everything in my power to make her life comfortable and I'm not exaggerating but anyone who ever saw us together could tell how much I loved her, and now that I think back she didn't even offer me emotional support or affection, but me as she was my very first girlfriend had no idea what to expect from my "life" partner so I let everything slide and even made jokes that we need at least a dog in our family so I too can get some affection. And that's why I went to porn sites and started chatting with people (and I know many of them are probably just guys pretending to be girls). I never even speak with anyone or saw one on webcam let alone meeting one in person and I made 3 "friends" whom I mostly chatted with who had personal problems and I tried to help them and be a supportive person, and I repeat to this day I have to idea if those women are real or not, never spoke to one or saw them. And that was my sin(or that's what she claims) and when my ex found out (she used to go through my laptop and back account and I just considered all these silly and funny) she said she doesn't want this relationship anymore. Let me back up a bit, that day I was sitting on the bed and called to her to come there so we could cuddle a bit and when she came in she just said I'm breaking up with you. Just like that. My goal all these years was to make her life easy so I didn't even make a fuss, I went down to a supermarket, got some boxes and put all my clothes in those and left everything else as not to affect her quality of life in any way. I was still unemployed and if my brother wasn't kind enough to offer me his couch I would have ended up homeless. When I called and met her a few days later and asked how on earth a 10 year old relationship can disintegrate like this and if there's an issue here we should try to resolve it as a couple all she said was that this is what she wanted and if I don't respect her choice she would call the cops on me. And when I told her that I'm so heart broken and sad that I'm thinking about suicide her response was "this is a weak person's talk, I don't want a weak person in my life" So yes this is the story of my breakup so far (I just left out some parts that makes me look like an even bigger fool) and even now I don't think she's a bad person per say but extremely self centered, calculating and ungrateful, qualities that are polar opposite of mine. I do know my faults and problems and for sure I wasn't the perfect boyfriend(she made me hide the fact that I married and sponsored her, so calling us husband and wife was a no no) but she was far from one either. If you're still reading this well I hope you get something out of it. But that's the story of how my love and trust was betrayed my fellow internet friends. I wish nothing like this on anyone, and if I'd want to leave you with something it's this: love is a precious commodity, don't spend it on just anybody.
she should have taken her boyfriend on the cruise. my ex-wife went on a family cruise and pulled that shit with me, and I just took it as her way of saying it was over. never saw her again.
Look she is just a young person and this could have been her 1st breakup. she shared ideas that worked for her. Main ideas were : hang around your friends. Don't allow yourself isolation and the time to mope and doubt yourself. go to outings and group discussions just to keep busy. I can understand a break up over the phone. The other person has decided they don't want you anymore. They have no desire to explain why or hold you. It is just a simple fact that they do not love/lust you anymore and are probably already enmeshed with a new lover. one the phone seems clear. at least they are decent enough to tell you. When they tell you over the phone they are telling you that the relationship is over. What else do uo need to know? the bond is terminated. "Move on" they are saying. "forget me." "I am not yours or accountable to you anymore" No amount of crying or pleading will change their mind. In fact we know that that kind of behaviour is repulsive to your ex. Once you are ex-ed all bets are off. They have told you that they have no responsibility to care about your feeling. The best a dumped person can do is accept what they are told and show the dumper their inner grace and acceptance like it doesn't hurt. I wouldn't give the dumper the satisfaction of seeing me upset. you calmly discuss the removal of their stuff out of your Life and immediately move on with your wonderful life. No one needs a person who need them. No one wants a person who doesn't want them back ! that would be illogical. it is better someone be honest enough to say it's over by text than them cheating on you all about town and lying about it !! you cannot argue that that would feel better. I was was disappointed with commenter's here sounding si jealous of her. Her mum could have won lotto and if she lives in London - Paris is just over the water or by the underground highway. jealousy looks and sounds ugly
Obviously this could happen, but what if the love you would accept would be the best thing that ever happened to you? Even if a breakup happens, you will be hurt but it won’t hurt forever and you are left with such great memories and loved time that you would otherwise miss. Dont let the anxiety take over you decisions, you can overcome them by just doing what you fear and realising it isn’t so bad
she starts at around 9 minutes talking about doing things and desperately trying to hang around other people and do things to distract herself from the devastation of her boyfriend leaving her. This was scary because I found myself doing these things when I was depressed.
Or you go through a really bad break up and your best friends you've known your whole life move away across the country, steal your old girlfriend, or get married themselves and all abandon you completely. Yeah. Try that route and see where it takes you... 9 years later this October and still haven't worked through it.
Wow, what she explained happened to me almost exactly. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me over a random phone call out of nowhere 2 days ago. It leaves me questioning what I did wrong even though I know the main cause is due to his own personal reasons. Of course I played some part in it, but I just can’t believe he would blindsight me like this when we were planning a future together right up until that phone call. I’m devastated. I don’t know whether I’ll ever recover. He was my first real love whom I spent 4 years of my life with and was so excited to spend the rest of my life with. Seems like he just doesn’t care and probably never truly did.
Hi Shannon, Your story resonates with me, it hit me on emotional level; especially a part that you were blindsided. Me too. We had plans to get old together…at one point, she changed it. Well, I am heartbroken, but I hope the Universe has better plans for me. I wish to you easy recovery. You will recover, believe in that.
☝️My dear, there is no lost hope, I pray that the universe will grant your heart's wish, making your partner love you unconditionally with more care and dedication through Dr. Akhigbe, the powerful manifestation of love that restores my broken marriage of 6 years, and also cures for any kind of diseases.
@@lamusic1996 ☝️My dear, there is no lost hope, I pray that the universe will grant your heart's wish, making your partner love you unconditionally with more care and dedication through Dr. Akhigbe, the powerful manifestation of love that restores my broken marriage of 6 years, and also cures for any kind of diseases.
You're so strong! I'm in a similar situation..Its not easy but it has made me STRONG! I cant wait to completely heal from this pain :) I've learned to enjoy the healing process. Thank you for sharing your story!
+Ana Loza I agree. Heartbreak is one of the hardest things I've come across in life, but looking forward to what you can do from that experience sheds some light on life.
What steps did you take to be able to overcome it? I'm in the same situation right now, my ex of 8 years had recently married someone else. Rough road still..
Poor princess had her holiday in frogland ''ruined'' by her latest squeeze not having the balls to drop her face to face...what a man, must have been a great guy...
I broke up. And then it broke me. And is still breaking me. All my friends we're her friends too while we were together. And so now when she is getting married after my breakup. She is happily calling all my friends and it feels like i am no where to go. I slept at 11 woke up at 2 and it 7 in morning and i am still awake. At the same time now my family looks parting away. I just feel like completely going down in my life. Family, love life, is all not working.
man i feel you. my ex not sayin anything at all. we just dont spoke for like 2months except for work things (shes my co-worker), conversation just cold. i cut the communication because, im asking bout our future, i mean i dont wanna waste any of time for some nonsense relationship, not wasting my energy money for this kind of relationship. anyway, last week she just posted on her facbook story that she married to her ex. it just hit me. since then i only eat once a day. its really hard for me. my eating schedule just mess. but only once/day its not my regular activities. but im trying to get this thru. trying to hit the gym yesterday. hope we gonna survive thru this
My best friend isn't in my life anymore,my sister is somewhat,but it was brought up again when he bf cheated on her and she told me,why are you worried about things that happened so long ago?! All I want is for her to admit it and say sorry.She can't even do that! My trust is gone in people 4-ever. thx for commenting xo.
try losing the few friends you've had since elementary school die before 40, losing your parents to cancer,losing your sisters ,moved across the opposite side of the county,no contact in 14 years,not having ,the resources you need to do want you really want to,having more month than money to get through it,then miraculously,meeting the girl of your dreams, hearing her tell you all the time,shell never hurt you or leave you ,loves you through everything she does ,re inspires you makes you feel safe,and like a king,for 3 years ,then suddenly walks out of your life ,without any contract,or reason or answers,doesn't acknowledge your existence and you have nobody to talk to no support, nothing, you start researching and realize ,you were dating a covert bordline,a type of narcissistic person that feeds of your every weakness and has moral standards of a pig,actually that would insult a pig, this cowardly narcissist,has a huge ,rich family,tons of friends and always feels entitled ,doesn't take responsibility for anything ,and lies to everyone including family ,heartbreak is heartbreak nomatter what your situation,but having friends and a somewhat abundant life and family that cares sure would be a nice addition to your pain and confusion, going through it alone is the hardest thing i struggle with inner conflict and can't stop feeling worthless ,even tho i have built a successful business and do well with work related issues,i have no personal life and am questioning everything
We had a misunderstanding and I tried to talk to her but she kept nagging and digging the problem deeper when i was willing to communicate. I eventually just left myself. I learned to love without shame. I admit I love her and even though she acted like she didn't care at the end...all those feelings of guilt will be on her not me. I was vulnerable
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
Don't worry anymore Sweetheart , I will introduce you to The greatest relationship Restorer that helped me get my ex back in less 48 hours... He will help you okay
All these activities are great ways to keep yourself busy but personally I don't think they are lessons learnt from a break up. They seem more like ways to overcome a breakup.. In any case, I do feel your pain and my biggest question is why you never asked him to explain to you the actual reasons of your break up... Why to ask a psychic and not him? Why to accept whatever a psychic would say and not accept his word?
There are a lot of mean, insensitive comments here. I also can not relate to having a lot of friends to send me places or give me tickets. Nor can I afford a landscaper, or do I even have a lawn FOR a landscaper. Her reality is much different than a lot of ours. HOWEVER, heartbreak is heartbreak... all the money in the world doesn't make that any easier. The basic message is the same though... you have to figure out how to make it work for yourself and fill that void within yourself. I wonder how many people that hide behind a computer screen and make mean comments would actually say those things to someone's face.
What kind of man he was to breakup with yoh when u were on vacations with family. Very stupid n cruel! How bad is that! It was really nice listening to all this.I'm Going through the same time n trying the same things. 😊 Goodluck for your next relationship!
Yeah my boyfriend broke up with me just 2 days ago, which was 3 days after my birthday and on my best friend’s birthday - AND he broke up with me over the phone. Couldn’t even look me in the eyes while he shattered me. He’s selfish and I realize it with how he handled this situation. I can’t believe I’m so unbearable that he couldn’t wait and had to ruin it all out of nowhere.
@@shannonmorehead2000 One thing that i’d want to tell everyone is that “ Karma is real” I’m speaking with experience. So learn from if and leave it on God then sit back and watch how karma will hit him. Also, learn from it. Don’t let it go waste. I know it’s really hard for you rn but my sweetheart really time heals things! 😊
not saying she doesnt have her faults in a relationship but there are many men out there that go without and would value having a women that cares that much and could still batle through it
I want to feel sympathy for this woman but how out of touch is she? 1st world much? Her boyfriend sucked for breaking up over the phone, but she was lucky enough to go to france on a cruise, and have rich friends to send her on a plane to travel? wtf? how is this relatable at all?
She also had female privilege and cried to her landscaper and got a deal from him to mow the grass. That must be that self reliance thing going on. Mowing her own lawn wasn't an option.
I see what you're saying but that privilege only exists because it's rooted in the idea that women are weak and in need of help, which is part of a much bigger oppression. Women often internalize this oppression and act this way as they have been convinced that they actually do need help.
I've done a lot of things. But I would never hurt someone that way. Revenge is sweet. I would spend what ever it took to distroy him. You don't have the money to do that. I do.
While I disagree with her decision to visit a psychic based on what she said, it sounds as if that was her first and only time. Either way, why assume it had anything to do with the breakup? Maybe her ex was cheating and decided her trip was the perfect time to breakup with her and move in with his new girlfriend.
This speaker constantly refers to divorce as a stigma !! The days of remaining in a physically or mentally abusive relationship because of the so-called stigma of divorce are long gone. It is a mental torture for the abused spouse and the children of such marriages. The children assume that being an abuser or a victim of abuse is normal acceptable behavior. Such negative behavior is then perpetuated and passed on in the marriages of such children in the absence of therapeutic intervention.
at least your boyfriend wasn't with you on the boat!!!! tell thanks to god. my f***ing ex broke up with me at first day on Yacht when we came to greece, I needed to suffer him 5 days on the same boat with his friends!!! but I know the Karma is exit. I know he will get what he deserves!
I'm sorry, I feel for her breakup but...she doesn't look over it nor ok, I'm not taking advice from her ... then again how lame am I to look for help and advice on youtube (?)
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
Don't worry anymore Sweetheart , I will introduce you to The greatest relationship Restorer that helped me get my ex back in less 48 hours... He will help you okay
This video is poor. There is nothing of relevance or any real insight to the viewer. It's just an account of a relationship breakup of young, reasonably affluent American white girl.
I'm sure she was nervous and I don't know if I could have done any better, however, I surely would not have said, "and um" or "um" as many times as she did! It was extremely annoying! Also, if the only lighting is from a campfire, perhaps you should rely on your memory instead of struggling to read your notes.
Elizabeth Maglasang The campfire was likely on a nice island getaway. Perhaps St. Thomas, or St. Croix. Maybe closer to the states to save money, and only in Bermuda.
Some guy have very bad timing he couldn't break up with her until she got back from her trip. I can relate though my ex- boyfriend broke up with me the morning of my birthday when we had planned on going on trip together he wouldn't answer my calls and he just got his brother to text me it was over. I end up going on the trip on my own.
"they shared lessons they have learned", through the experience of life. I just listened to the whole thing. I found her input to be every bit as valuable (potentially life-saving, for someone with relevant needs) as any Ted Talk I've seen. That's TED enough for me.
Poor thing! Title should be "Life in La La Land". I tried not to be cynical during this. I hope this was off the cuff if not wipe your runny little nose. This was actually depressing.
The question in never: "Honey, do you love me". The question is always: "Honey, how good of a job I am I doing loving you". Here we have a young woman, who being in her total self absorption, did not have the insight to asks either the right or wrong question. Hence, she was blind sided by the "surprise" demise of the relationship. Those of the victim mentality will love this video, but sadly, our young lass has probably learned nothing.
James Chambers I think you're right, however, the guy who broke up with her doesn't sound a whole lot better with the way he went about the breakup. He took the route that was most convenient for him and not for her.
James Chambers uh, she was blindsided because SHE WAS BLINDSIDED- she went on vacation with her family and came back to a home where he'd removed all his things and left. instead of breaking up with her properly in person so they could have an honest talk about it, he disappeared. so yes, she is the victim of a shitty boyfriend. it is not 'victim mentality' that she is hurt by someone who supposedly cared about her. clearly he is an asshole who is self-absorbed, because no real man would break up in this crass and terrible manner.
James Chambers the boy she was an outgoing female with a network of support.She was involved with was a jealous narcissist trying his best to destroy her trip with her family.
Nothing against this nice person or her story, but do they just call - anything - TED these days? I know it's TEDx but .. there must be some standards when it comes to venue, audio/video quality, and having professional speakers who are prepared.
Wow, wish we could hear the guy's story. Imagine he finally grabbed the opportunity to bail out of an excessively high-maintenance relationship before legal entanglements. Cowardly perhaps, but I suspect he can still live with himself just fine. Dodged a bullet.
Negative view point, she clearly has wealthy parents. It's likely she always had a provider and now it was him. Taking care of someone is blessing but when the dependent knows nothing else they don't ever value it.
Seriously high class problems! Friends put you on planes for a change of scenery. Wow. Wonder how much the psychic and all those bands cost.Try waiting on a food pantry line in the scorching sun or better yet volunteer at one.
Carolyn B. This should be titled, "The Story of How Kim Gordon is my Spirit Animal" because unless i missed it, this "poor thing" didn't speak one word about learning lessons from a breakup.
I honestly think its good to GO through the emotions... distractions only work for so long before bottled emotions erupt.
Of course, but sometimes you just thought through all the thoughts and you cried all the tears and now you are just ruminating irrelevant things. And sometimes the only thing helping is distracting yourself from reliving this over and over again. It’s also unhealthy to stay in this hole and cry your eyes out forever. But I agree you should always let you emotions out but also don’t stay stuck in them forever
@@justjoe1669 My point is to first go through the stages of grief properly- if not, the healing process is only delayed.
I think the key of her whole talk was "friends" good friends are really hard to come by and great support, encouragement and unconditional love at any time and especially when you're broken can become the catalyst of how one moves through grief. You can only do things for so long, by yourself. People need to remember that a break-up is similar to the patterns and stages of grief one experiences when someone they love dies, saying statement's like 'get over it,' there's more fish in the sea,' when one door door shuts another one opens' while perhaps well intention-ed, lack compassion, lack the heart needed when your own heart feels broken.
This is a beautifully written comment.❤️✌🏻☀️
I have this theory that the "getting over the relationship" half life is the same as the length of your relationship: by the time you've doubled the time, you're over it. This applies only to certain relationships I found but to all those posting here, I've been through several breaks (the longest relationships were 5 and 2 years) and I'm now married for 20+ years. So yes, it inevitably gets better but the only thing that works consistently is time. Give it time, be easy with yourself, and this too shall pass. Also worth remembering the Serenity Prayer: you can't control other people's actions: "Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Every break up has it's own story, most of them are traumatic and I was one wo had experienced it. I thought I'm not gonna heal anymore but time is the ultimate healer. All you have to do is just embrace the pain but be sure that at the end of the day you'll make yourself okay because break up is not the end but perhaps it's the start of something new.
This breakup was horrible. Losing your future is not easy.
It’s also okay to feel your emotions to the fullest and not distract yourself every chance you get. I would actually argue that most of the time, grieving a loss and feeling it is very important. Of course we need relief from this and it’s great to try new things. But it’s also important to just lay in bed and cry and sit with your emotions.
Wow... Cruises, a supportive family, home interior design makeovers, concerts and film festivals, lots of friends with free food and money, a fun visit to a psychic, plenty of vacation time(?) from work, some road trips, and a super cute new Sonic Youth shirt? Am I the only who can't relate to ANY of that?
I missed most of that I got to the point where she was crying to her landscaper to get her lawn mowed. Since she didn't decide to mow it herself
I decided she wasn't worth listening too.
John Larson 🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣
John Larson hahahahah👍👍
I don't believe she has learned some precious lessons, it's still an dependence on the outside of ourselves.
This is the worst Ted talk I've ever heard
We know the tips and books, we have to read after such breakups.. and there are some takeaways from this too.
But It takes huge courage to share your story to the world. She is an amazing women!!
So thank you Cari.
I'm not going through a breakup but I found Cari's lessons to be inspirational and something I can apply to my own life.
One of the best Ted talk on breakup. Loved it. It had some rational steps and ideas on how to recover than many people just telling you that breakup could be good thing. As for the female privilege or being in France, losing a 4.5 years of relationship fucking hurts bad no matter where or who on the Earth you are.
Yep, all good comments below all reflecting the person's perspective and orientation. Breakups are Quite Impossible, for a while of course, and I've found I can only embrace the pain as fully as possible; yes Staying Busy and Involved in life is critical(!), but Feel the pain and do things anyway. Do NOT repress it, deny it, ignore it. It loses it's power over you the more you Face it; talk about it, Write about it.
Hardest goddamn thing I experienced when wife left. We struggle over the Whys and Wherefores, but you know what? Most people aren't really sure Why, seldom fully understand it themselves. It Just Happens That Way. Also, even if the Other DOES know 'why,' exactly, sometimes it's better NOT to tell them. Really. Life can be such Crap in these experiences, but it does get better this way...most of the time! Do NOT give up or in. Cheers, all..
Great advise!!...going through the same thing. Questions always pop-up but in the end it doesn't matter. All that is left is yourself and your broken-heart... Only you can heal it!❤
Everyone is so hyperfocused on her finances. Seriously people?! I guess if you work hard to create a comfortable life you aren't allowed to feel any emotional devastation - even if its caused by an @-hole that breaks up after 4 years over the phone! She's merely trying to give positive advice - and even states that she was fortunate to be in her position through the whole ordeal. Thank you for sharing you heart and thoughts to those open to looking for positive suggestions in moving forward in their own lives. 💗
Well said :)
When you have money is easier to deal with a heartbreak. I was crying in Paris over my previous breakup. It was not so bad. This time around I cannot afford the same luxury so it's more painful.
@@lolac1ark I disagree. I don’t think money buys you out of grief.
@@TammieSchaffer I think it does to a certain extend. When you don’t have the Ressources to distract yourself or even when you have to move out and don’t have the Money to do that so you Life in a small Apartment with like a mattrace then yeah it’s probably harder to get over it
Cari, Thank you for sharing your journey. Very grateful for your tools. Fabulous!
Do not shack with anyone. Marriage or live apart.
Don’t go through a difficult life experience if you aren’t rich. Got it!
hahaha so true
wow! she is super pruvileged. friends put her on planes to distract her? man, I'd just like to have friends who invite me over for coffee! wish I had her resources.
After a brief look through the comments, people are either complaining/jealous about her finances and expensive trips or complaining about this not being a traditional "TED talk". I'm pretty sure everyone experiences heartbreak, regardless of wealth or other life experience. With that in mind, I think this video is much more human and "relateable" than some other TED talks.
marhie siccuan _First things first you need to know what mistakes you have done to her to gave you an idea on how to win her back and apologize to her deeply. Then, thats the time you act on the things that should be acted upon to bring her back._
hey marhie, you should purchased this program offered by:
*getyourexbackn0w.blogspot.com*
It has its all the things you need to learn to win her back. I myself tried it and it worked for me ^__^
Thank you so much! I'm going through this situation NOW. I've always been the type to dwell on why it didn't work I even question myself, but there's a reason for every situation....
thank you cari you seem like a strong person & i think i know where you are coming from :)
One of the best things to do after a relationship dies, is to do an autopsy on the relationship. If you are honest with yourself, you will not need a psychic. You will see what happened, and why. He broke up with you while you were surrounded by loved ones there to support you. Also, what are you doing cruising around without your beloved?
i THINK THIS WAS A GREAT TALK. It is perhaps something that only someone else who has dealt with sort of struggle and loss will understand or appreciate. This ted talk is a raw account of how lost and broken you can become after intertwining your life with someone. To be faced with being blindsided and broken and she is reminding us that we are human and thats ok, and not everyone is made of stone. I am grateful for this as I have gone through similar pain after a for year relationship . Every person and their story is different but to share an authentic experience such as this one may reach only one other person so that they know they aren't alone and accepting your feelings is crucial ... yea.
What lessons did she really learn from the breakup? For me, it sounds like she avoided the situation and experience of going through the breakup by distracting herself. So how can she get get over the breakup up if she avoided thinking about it? The heart needs time to heal. I thought she was going to reveal what she learned about herself during this difficult time.
i know, right?!?!?!
Trust me, she didn’t avoid thinking about it.
@@TammieSchaffer How do you know?
@@sparklydiamond Because I’ve been there
@@TammieSchaffer So have I. A couple of times.
TED Talks are supposed to be from experts on real issues and solutions. Not cell phone videos of a women's retreat who have no real insight into anything but their myopic experience,
I think it's best to let the raw emotions manifest as you heal, so that you when (if you chose to) you get into the next relationship, you won't carry that weight into it.
I appreciate my friends for helping me-but no one pulled me out of my environment. I was mainly encouraged to pray-which is great, but it is not everything that’s needed to heal from a breakup.
I had a similar set of lessons from a break up myself. It can be a rubbish time, but if we deal with it right can be formative in a really positive way.
Beautifully vulnerable. Thank you for sharing and also giving valuable advice.
For clarification: this was not a sanctioned TEDx talk. Note the description, this person was an attendee.
I love this. Pain being used as a fuel to create such art. Can't think of any better way to cope with it.
I'm in a very emotionally hard period in my life. I was in a turbulent relationship for one year. One year might sound minor to some, but after this breaking up I feell that my life is so empty and I actually hesitate to move on. I suffer so much, cannot sleep,eat, I'm dying inside. At the beginning I was blaming my ex for the most of things that went wrong, but now I cannot help myself but feeling guilty that I let him down and didn't recognise when he needed me the most. I loved him and still love so much, but obviously didn't show him in a way he needed. He don't want me anymore in his life, and even though I know I should let him go to find his happiness, I feel urge to do something and fight for him. And I cannot forgive myself
Ppl how did you fix yourself and accept walking alone after being one with other?
Just got dumped 2 days ago...I started blaming myself for so many things. Don't try to bottle up your feelings, let them show. Stop asking yourself on the things you "should've" done different. Start to care about your body, your mind and your heart. Step by step, you will be better. We will be better.
I know this is written easier than done, but blaming yourself doesn’t help anybody. Neither him nor yourself. So you have to look forward on what opportunities you have now. Maybe there are some things you couldn’t have done in this relationship (for example move away because his job was in a city you didn’t like, maybe you have more time for friends now or hobbies, maybe you can go for your dream job or whatever it is). Also it helped me to think about it as fate. It just shouldn’t be. Also this one sentence helped me a lot: The relationship didn’t fail, it was completed. Maybe this one year was the time you were supposed to be together, it maybe changed the two of you for the better, you learned something etc. So you got everything out of this relationship that was supposed to come out of it. Now a new chapter begins. I am positive that this new chapter will bring you joy and happiness!
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
He was the one who helped me restore back my ex 3 days ago without delay 🌹🌹
Whtsapp him"**
Hello strangers on youtube
This has nothing to do with Ted Talks this is just my breakup story and it's the honest to god reality, I didn't try to make myself look good or her bad, just the documented facts. I do believe my story is unique in many ways but someone might still learn a thing or two from it. So read if you want and if not well this is a place for me to get something off my chest, sorry.
Well you see I didn't have a happy childhood, my mother had these issues and would erupt in anger over nothing and beat me bloody as the eldest child, my father was either unwilling or incapable of interfering and protecting me. So from a very young age I had no real emotional and caring support in my household and had numerous times attempted to escape.
That's the context and that's where my ex came in my life. She was the first girl who expressed interest in me (I was always to shy to approach girls) and by the first time she held my hand I fell for her completely as a means to obtain love and affection. She even had an affair but like a chump I forgave her and in the 8 years that we were together not once I mentioned that. Not only that but after a year or so from the start of the relationship (and before her affair) I immigrated to Canada and then secretly and without telling anyone in my family I married her and sponsored here.
I had obtained a master's from a Canadian university but as we were starting our lives together and needed money and as finding a job for me was taking too long I took on minimum paying jobs to support my family while she attended classes for new immigrant women which offered job placements. And that's how she got her foot in. After she got her steady job I tried to get into the job market myself but all I could get was temporary and project based positions while she (being the hard worker and workaholic she is) slowly advanced in her career.
I won't lie here, I was dealing with depression and feelings of adequacy all these years and my unemployment was weighing heavily on me but in all instances I did everything in my power to make her life comfortable and I'm not exaggerating but anyone who ever saw us together could tell how much I loved her, and now that I think back she didn't even offer me emotional support or affection, but me as she was my very first girlfriend had no idea what to expect from my "life" partner so I let everything slide and even made jokes that we need at least a dog in our family so I too can get some affection.
And that's why I went to porn sites and started chatting with people (and I know many of them are probably just guys pretending to be girls). I never even speak with anyone or saw one on webcam let alone meeting one in person and I made 3 "friends" whom I mostly chatted with who had personal problems and I tried to help them and be a supportive person, and I repeat to this day I have to idea if those women are real or not, never spoke to one or saw them.
And that was my sin(or that's what she claims) and when my ex found out (she used to go through my laptop and back account and I just considered all these silly and funny) she said she doesn't want this relationship anymore. Let me back up a bit, that day I was sitting on the bed and called to her to come there so we could cuddle a bit and when she came in she just said I'm breaking up with you. Just like that.
My goal all these years was to make her life easy so I didn't even make a fuss, I went down to a supermarket, got some boxes and put all my clothes in those and left everything else as not to affect her quality of life in any way. I was still unemployed and if my brother wasn't kind enough to offer me his couch I would have ended up homeless.
When I called and met her a few days later and asked how on earth a 10 year old relationship can disintegrate like this and if there's an issue here we should try to resolve it as a couple all she said was that this is what she wanted and if I don't respect her choice she would call the cops on me. And when I told her that I'm so heart broken and sad that I'm thinking about suicide her response was "this is a weak person's talk, I don't want a weak person in my life"
So yes this is the story of my breakup so far (I just left out some parts that makes me look like an even bigger fool) and even now I don't think she's a bad person per say but extremely self centered, calculating and ungrateful, qualities that are polar opposite of mine. I do know my faults and problems and for sure I wasn't the perfect boyfriend(she made me hide the fact that I married and sponsored her, so calling us husband and wife was a no no) but she was far from one either.
If you're still reading this well I hope you get something out of it. But that's the story of how my love and trust was betrayed my fellow internet friends. I wish nothing like this on anyone, and if I'd want to leave you with something it's this: love is a precious commodity, don't spend it on just anybody.
Seems like ur being used to sponsor her
Damn! this is one tough crowd!!
she should have taken her boyfriend on the cruise. my ex-wife went on a family cruise and pulled that shit with me, and I just took it as her way of saying it was over. never saw her again.
such a great organic ted talk
So,, this is a TED talk because??? Was her boyfriends name Ted?
+maskof LOL
All I have to say is Psychic! What a fun and marvelous way to let go when there is still the big WHY hanging over you.
Look she is just a young person and this could have been her 1st breakup. she shared ideas that worked for her.
Main ideas were :
hang around your friends.
Don't allow yourself isolation and the time to mope and doubt yourself.
go to outings and group discussions just to keep busy.
I can understand a break up over the phone.
The other person has decided they don't want you anymore.
They have no desire to explain why or hold you.
It is just a simple fact that they do not love/lust you anymore and are probably already enmeshed with a new lover.
one the phone seems clear. at least they are decent enough to tell you. When they tell you over the phone they are telling you that the relationship is over.
What else do uo need to know?
the bond is terminated.
"Move on" they are saying. "forget me."
"I am not yours or accountable to you anymore"
No amount of crying or pleading will change their mind. In fact we know that that kind of behaviour is repulsive to your ex.
Once you are ex-ed all bets are off. They have told you that they have no responsibility to care about your feeling. The best a dumped person can do is accept what they are told and show the dumper their inner grace and acceptance like it doesn't hurt. I wouldn't give the dumper the satisfaction of seeing me upset. you calmly discuss the removal of their stuff out of your Life and immediately move on with your wonderful life. No one needs a person who need them. No one wants a person who doesn't want them back ! that would be illogical. it is better someone be honest enough to say it's over by text than them cheating on you all about town and lying about it !! you cannot argue that that would feel better.
I was was disappointed with commenter's here sounding si jealous of her. Her mum could have won lotto and if she lives in London - Paris is just over the water or by the underground highway.
jealousy looks and sounds ugly
I'm a little confused about this talk here. I mean we all have a story, so can I just submit mine to TED and do a speech on how bad bad can be? LOL.
Great video for anyone with Scorpio or a strong Pluto in his/her chart. Transformation is the key to growth.
I can't ever be in a relationship because I fear getting broken up with so badly :'( I cried when u told me he broke up with u :(
Obviously this could happen, but what if the love you would accept would be the best thing that ever happened to you? Even if a breakup happens, you will be hurt but it won’t hurt forever and you are left with such great memories and loved time that you would otherwise miss. Dont let the anxiety take over you decisions, you can overcome them by just doing what you fear and realising it isn’t so bad
she starts at around 9 minutes talking about doing things and desperately trying to hang around other people and do things to distract herself from the devastation of her boyfriend leaving her. This was scary because I found myself doing these things when I was depressed.
Many people are depressed after a breakup that’s actually very common, maybe you both did the same thing
Thanks for sharing your story! You are very brave to do so in such a public way. Hopefully you have found a new love.
Or you go through a really bad break up and your best friends you've known your whole life move away across the country, steal your old girlfriend, or get married themselves and all abandon you completely. Yeah. Try that route and see where it takes you... 9 years later this October and still haven't worked through it.
Wow, what she explained happened to me almost exactly. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me over a random phone call out of nowhere 2 days ago. It leaves me questioning what I did wrong even though I know the main cause is due to his own personal reasons. Of course I played some part in it, but I just can’t believe he would blindsight me like this when we were planning a future together right up until that phone call. I’m devastated. I don’t know whether I’ll ever recover. He was my first real love whom I spent 4 years of my life with and was so excited to spend the rest of my life with. Seems like he just doesn’t care and probably never truly did.
Hi Shannon,
Your story resonates with me, it hit me on emotional level; especially a part that you were blindsided. Me too. We had plans to get old together…at one point, she changed it. Well, I am heartbroken, but I hope the Universe has better plans for me. I wish to you easy recovery. You will recover, believe in that.
☝️My dear, there is no lost hope, I pray that the universe will grant your heart's wish, making your partner love you unconditionally with more care and dedication through Dr. Akhigbe, the powerful manifestation of love that restores my broken marriage of 6 years, and also cures for any kind of diseases.
@@lamusic1996 ☝️My dear, there is no lost hope, I pray that the universe will grant your heart's wish, making your partner love you unconditionally with more care and dedication through Dr. Akhigbe, the powerful manifestation of love that restores my broken marriage of 6 years, and also cures for any kind of diseases.
You're so strong! I'm in a similar situation..Its not easy but it has made me STRONG! I cant wait to completely heal from this pain :)
I've learned to enjoy the healing process.
Thank you for sharing your story!
+Ana Loza I agree. Heartbreak is one of the hardest things I've come across in life, but looking forward to what you can do from that experience sheds some light on life.
What steps did you take to be able to overcome it? I'm in the same situation right now, my ex of 8 years had recently married someone else. Rough road still..
Hi Ana, How do you enjoy the healing process? I am going through heartbreak now and talking about it makes the pain more bearable. Best to you.
Poor princess had her holiday in frogland ''ruined'' by her latest squeeze not having the balls to drop her face to face...what a man, must have been a great guy...
I broke up. And then it broke me. And is still breaking me. All my friends we're her friends too while we were together. And so now when she is getting married after my breakup. She is happily calling all my friends and it feels like i am no where to go. I slept at 11 woke up at 2 and it 7 in morning and i am still awake. At the same time now my family looks parting away. I just feel like completely going down in my life. Family, love life, is all not working.
man i feel you. my ex not sayin anything at all. we just dont spoke for like 2months except for work things (shes my co-worker), conversation just cold. i cut the communication because, im asking bout our future, i mean i dont wanna waste any of time for some nonsense relationship, not wasting my energy money for this kind of relationship. anyway, last week she just posted on her facbook story that she married to her ex.
it just hit me. since then i only eat once a day. its really hard for me. my eating schedule just mess. but only once/day its not my regular activities. but im trying to get this thru. trying to hit the gym yesterday. hope we gonna survive thru this
My best friend isn't in my life anymore,my sister is somewhat,but it was brought up again when he bf cheated on her and she told me,why are you worried about things that happened so long ago?! All I want is for her to admit it and say sorry.She can't even do that! My trust is gone in people 4-ever. thx for commenting xo.
try losing the few friends you've had since elementary school die before 40, losing your parents to cancer,losing your sisters ,moved across the opposite side of the county,no contact in 14 years,not having ,the resources you need to do want you really want to,having more month than money to get through it,then miraculously,meeting the girl of your dreams, hearing her tell you all the time,shell never hurt you or leave you ,loves you through everything she does ,re inspires you makes you feel safe,and like a king,for 3 years ,then suddenly walks out of your life ,without any contract,or reason or answers,doesn't acknowledge your existence and you have nobody to talk to no support, nothing, you start researching and realize ,you were dating a covert bordline,a type of narcissistic person that feeds of your every weakness and has moral standards of a pig,actually that would insult a pig, this cowardly narcissist,has a huge ,rich family,tons of friends and always feels entitled ,doesn't take responsibility for anything ,and lies to everyone including family ,heartbreak is heartbreak nomatter what your situation,but having friends and a somewhat abundant life and family that cares sure would be a nice addition to your pain and confusion, going through it alone is the hardest thing i struggle with inner conflict and can't stop feeling worthless ,even tho i have built a successful business and do well with work related issues,i have no personal life and am questioning everything
We had a misunderstanding and I tried to talk to her but she kept nagging and digging the problem deeper when i was willing to communicate. I eventually just left myself. I learned to love without shame. I admit I love her and even though she acted like she didn't care at the end...all those feelings of guilt will be on her not me. I was vulnerable
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
He was the one who helped me restore back my ex 3 days ago without delay 🌹🌹
Whtsapp him"**
Don't worry anymore Sweetheart , I will introduce you to The greatest relationship Restorer that helped me get my ex back in less 48 hours... He will help you okay
Wh'atsapp him
All these activities are great ways to keep yourself busy but personally I don't think they are lessons learnt from a break up. They seem more like ways to overcome a breakup.. In any case, I do feel your pain and my biggest question is why you never asked him to explain to you the actual reasons of your break up... Why to ask a psychic and not him? Why to accept whatever a psychic would say and not accept his word?
There are a lot of mean, insensitive comments here. I also can not relate to having a lot of friends to send me places or give me tickets. Nor can I afford a landscaper, or do I even have a lawn FOR a landscaper. Her reality is much different than a lot of ours. HOWEVER, heartbreak is heartbreak... all the money in the world doesn't make that any easier. The basic message is the same though... you have to figure out how to make it work for yourself and fill that void within yourself. I wonder how many people that hide behind a computer screen and make mean comments would actually say those things to someone's face.
Exactly!!! I just made two similar comments above. I’m glad I’m not the only one commenting who has compassion. 🙄🤷♀️😭
What kind of man he was to breakup with yoh when u were on vacations with family. Very stupid n cruel! How bad is that! It was really nice listening to all this.I'm Going through the same time n trying the same things. 😊 Goodluck for your next relationship!
Yeah my boyfriend broke up with me just 2 days ago, which was 3 days after my birthday and on my best friend’s birthday - AND he broke up with me over the phone. Couldn’t even look me in the eyes while he shattered me. He’s selfish and I realize it with how he handled this situation. I can’t believe I’m so unbearable that he couldn’t wait and had to ruin it all out of nowhere.
@@shannonmorehead2000 One thing that i’d want to tell everyone is that “ Karma is real” I’m speaking with experience. So learn from if and leave it on God then sit back and watch how karma will hit him. Also, learn from it. Don’t let it go waste. I know it’s really hard for you rn but my sweetheart really time heals things! 😊
not saying she doesnt have her faults in a relationship but there are many men out there that go without and would value having a women that cares that much and could still batle through it
I want to feel sympathy for this woman but how out of touch is she? 1st world much? Her boyfriend sucked for breaking up over the phone, but she was lucky enough to go to france on a cruise, and have rich friends to send her on a plane to travel? wtf? how is this relatable at all?
.
She also had female privilege and cried to her landscaper and got a deal from him to mow the grass. That must be that self reliance thing going on.
Mowing her own lawn wasn't an option.
I see what you're saying but that privilege only exists because it's rooted in the idea that women are weak and in need of help, which is part of a much bigger oppression. Women often internalize this oppression and act this way as they have been convinced that they actually do need help.
I've done a lot of things. But I would never hurt someone that way. Revenge is sweet. I would spend what ever it took to distroy him. You don't have the money to do that. I do.
Wow, I can see why he broke up with her. A psychic??
While I disagree with her decision to visit a psychic based on what she said, it sounds as if that was her first and only time. Either way, why assume it had anything to do with the breakup? Maybe her ex was cheating and decided her trip was the perfect time to breakup with her and move in with his new girlfriend.
This speaker constantly refers to divorce as a stigma !! The days of remaining in a physically or mentally abusive relationship because of the so-called stigma of divorce are long gone. It is a mental torture for the abused spouse and the children of such marriages. The children assume that being an abuser or a victim of abuse is normal acceptable behavior. Such negative behavior is then perpetuated and passed on in the marriages of such children in the absence of therapeutic intervention.
at least your boyfriend wasn't with you on the boat!!!!
tell thanks to god.
my f***ing ex broke up with me at first day on Yacht when we came to greece, I needed to suffer him 5 days on the same boat with his friends!!! but I know the Karma is exit. I know he will get what he deserves!
You are really very strong and a beautiful person at heart :)
Thank you so much for sharing this video. I am very glad I found it and it definitely help me get through today. God bless you 🙏🏼
Break ups are "easy" trusting someone else is the hard part.
I'm sorry, I feel for her breakup but...she doesn't look over it nor ok, I'm not taking advice from her ... then again how lame am I to look for help and advice on youtube (?)
This doesn't look like a Ted talk at all!!! It just sounds like a girl sharing her break up story to anyone who will listen.
Maybe not, but she actually said things that helped me even though I'm not going through a breakup.
Obviously, you didn't bother to read the description posted below the video.
I m also suffering from this situation now...but I will be okkk I know...I will come again here to update......let's start ....
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
He was the one who helped me restore back my ex 3 days ago without delay 🌹🌹
Whtsapp him"**
Don't worry anymore Sweetheart , I will introduce you to The greatest relationship Restorer that helped me get my ex back in less 48 hours... He will help you okay
Wh'atsapp him
Not all of us have such friends. And so that was the point?
Thank you so much for that.
Thank you
She talks like she is crying which makes it seem like she hasnt recovered
This video is poor. There is nothing of relevance or any real insight to the viewer. It's just an account of a relationship breakup of young, reasonably affluent American white girl.
Notice the "I" not we, us, you.
Adam Lewis comon man it is her experience
Hi Cari - No doubt you are in far better place now - do you / are you still reading any of these comments?:
How is this a TED talk??? What would the idea worth spreading be?
powerful words.
I'm sure she was nervous and I don't know if I could have done any better, however, I surely would not have said, "and um" or "um" as many times as she did! It was extremely annoying! Also, if the only lighting is from a campfire, perhaps you should rely on your memory instead of struggling to read your notes.
Elizabeth Maglasang The campfire was likely on a nice island getaway. Perhaps St. Thomas, or St. Croix. Maybe closer to the states to save money, and only in Bermuda.
Some guy have very bad timing he couldn't break up with her until she got back from her trip. I can relate though my ex- boyfriend broke up with me the morning of my birthday when we had planned on going on trip together he wouldn't answer my calls and he just got his brother to text me it was over. I end up going on the trip on my own.
I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you are doing well now. God bless us!
"they shared lessons they have learned", through the experience of life.
I just listened to the whole thing.
I found her input to be every bit as valuable (potentially life-saving, for someone with relevant needs)
as any Ted Talk I've seen.
That's TED enough for me.
This is so amazing! xo
can i do a ted talks while I'm on the crapper about the best way to take a huge painful dump?
DOODER1091 No.
Arikm7 exactly
She pinpointed the basic things to keep up the pace
Poor thing! Title should be "Life in La La Land". I tried not to be cynical during this. I hope this was off the cuff if not wipe your runny little nose. This was actually depressing.
What if the psychic tell you otherwise? Then how are you suppose to move on?
The question in never: "Honey, do you love me". The question is always: "Honey, how good of a job I am I doing loving you". Here we have a young woman, who being in her total self absorption, did not have the insight to asks either the right or wrong question. Hence, she was blind sided by the "surprise" demise of the relationship. Those of the victim mentality will love this video, but sadly, our young lass has probably learned nothing.
James Chambers I think you're right, however, the guy who broke up with her doesn't sound a whole lot better with the way he went about the breakup. He took the route that was most convenient for him and not for her.
James Chambers uh, she was blindsided because SHE WAS BLINDSIDED- she went on vacation with her family and came back to a home where he'd removed all his things and left. instead of breaking up with her properly in person so they could have an honest talk about it, he disappeared. so yes, she is the victim of a shitty boyfriend. it is not 'victim mentality' that she is hurt by someone who supposedly cared about her. clearly he is an asshole who is self-absorbed, because no real man would break up in this crass and terrible manner.
James Chambers the boy she was an outgoing female with a network of support.She was involved with was a jealous narcissist trying his best to destroy her trip with her family.
well, she's already counting on enduring many more tragedies, so clearly she hasn't learned enough much at all.
Oh, so one heartbreak 💔 is the limit? Have you had one yet? Good luck with that.
Superficial! Dogs, lawns...?
Nothing against this nice person or her story, but do they just call - anything - TED these days? I know it's TEDx but .. there must be some standards when it comes to venue, audio/video quality, and having professional speakers who are prepared.
LOL I'm about to make a TED Talk about how I mourned the loss of my cat from my bed with my phone cam.
And I'd watch! ...
your naked while sipping a latte ... cat-mourning Ted Talk.
Oh wait. Sorry. I just realized you never mentioned sipping a latte.
: P
I agree. I could of given a better ted talk.
Wow, wish we could hear the guy's story. Imagine he finally grabbed the opportunity to bail out of an excessively high-maintenance relationship before legal entanglements. Cowardly perhaps, but I suspect he can still live with himself just fine. Dodged a bullet.
Negative view point, she clearly has wealthy parents. It's likely she always had a provider and now it was him. Taking care of someone is blessing but when the dependent knows nothing else they don't ever value it.
This is absolutely hilarious. Gotta love how TEDx is basically the Jerry Springer of pseudo-intellectuals.
Seriously high class problems! Friends put you on planes for a change of scenery. Wow. Wonder how much the psychic and all those bands cost.Try waiting on a food pantry line in the scorching sun or better yet volunteer at one.
Carolyn B. This made me sick. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Petty but, winter scarf and a tee shirt? Just don't seem to jive.
Carolyn B. This should be titled, "The Story of How Kim Gordon is my Spirit Animal" because unless i missed it, this "poor thing" didn't speak one word about learning lessons from a breakup.
Wow! Bitter much? Need a shot of compassion? Money or not, a heartbreak/grief is a heartbreak/grief.
Is this a sign.. My ex bfs besties name is dylan tooooo... I miss my bf..but hes called the cops on me..
Awesome
Burning books?
NO!
Give them away!
I kind of expected more... lol was nice watching though :)
The biggest problem I see is EXTRA CLOSET SPACE!!!👍🏼👍🏼😜😜🙆🏼🙆🏼
I guess everyone experiences their own struggles whether big or small but this was like so...white girl problems
Interesting talk!Jforever5690
Out of my mind sad. I tried to lover her despite my terrible health.
My life is really sad because I have chronic pain.
I'm so sorry for how hard things are for you. xoxo
and um.....and um......and um......and um...... I cant anymore. I apologize but please its enough TED TALKS c'mon
only camera man is in the audience
Focus!
You could've donated those things to charity but it's okay.
Mow your own lawn. Geeeez.
Imogen Neumann LOL! Just what I was thinking.
and clean your lobster!
right? Be self-sufficient for a change. Break-ups don't make you broken.