life as a boring person - how I'm feeling happier about it
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2023
- While on a surf trip to Western Australia I journaled some thoughts and made them into a short video here. Alongside the typical surf content that I love to post, I want to share more of these more philosophical aspects of my life. They've become really important to me as I get older and I wish I'd heard these things when I was young.
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Hey guys. It’s always been my goal to start integrating my personal development and life exploration journey into this channel. Of course it will always be underpinned by surfing and this won’t impact the educational content either. I think the way the world is now it’s really important for us, particularly men who make up the majority of this audience, to talk about this stuff openly and be open to being vulnerable as well as humble and happy. I really appreciate you all and hope this first one landed ok 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Na not boring. Simple. Much better living. 🤙
As an introvert that's been doing the van life thing for exactly two years now in the US, it "landed" quite well. Thanks.
love it
Wow, incredibly honest and almost therapeutic video, big applause for making it and sharing openly! Just because you prefer surfing, ocean and quietness over partying doesn’t make you boring. You just have different values in your life and frankly, it sounds you have the right ones, regardless of what others say.
Is that van transcendental? 😂
Doctor 🤵
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone," wrote the French philosopher Blaise Pascal.
What a True Quote! I so agree! I’m going to write that out & share it!
The quote isn't completely true, for example sitting in a room alone would not solve poverty.
Pretty much
@@bigballz4u Solve poverty? 🤣 Stop expecting other people to "solve" your problems.
@@bigballz4u it is not about poverty . Actually go into a room alone without distraction or pointless phone calls and think about what the quote really means.
There’s a huge difference between boredom and peace
And fucking world travel.
Not too different, actually.
Have you ever wondered how one never seems to be bored when they're alone? It's always with other people does boredom set in. Peace is quite literally the absence of eventful stimulus which many would interpret as boredom. But it's semantics really.
Synchronicity is very real and we achieve that with time spent alone in order to solidify and be more judicious about the people we let into our lives.
Boredom is merely the mismanagement of psychological, intellectual and emotional resources. More often than not the first thing we do when we are bored is try to avoid dips in dopamine so we seek interactions that spike it's level otherwise known as pleasure. Pleasure is not contentment. We conflate the two so we end up chasing more dopamine seeking behavior. The issue with this is that when we don't get the rush of "feeling good" we get down and stressed which releases cortisol. Cortisol than down regulates dopamine receptors leading to decreased effectiveness of dopamine.
See where this is going?
You got it. Now one seeks more dopamine spikes to feel worse than they initially felt. This is addiction, depression and anxiety.
Contentment is regulated by serotonin which tells you "this feels good I've had enough" instead of "this feels good but I want more."
Contentment is being OK and accepting where you are at any given moment and if that is achieved by yourself in a seemingly boring life to others...so be it 😊
Mahalo my brother. Great video.
@@soapbox187 No. Peace is an 'Experience' it is not an abscence. The experience of inner peace is beyond words and is complete fulfillment.
only a few letters hun ❤
@gilldanier4129 'experience' is a creation, borne of the cerebral realms
therefore freed of all physical and emotional limitation
therein lay THE beauty
I used to feel the same way but now I’m in my 50’s I finally realised I find other people boring, most are shallow and looking for cheap thrills, their lives revolve around work, tv, latest trends etc, lack substance and highly critical just so they can feel better about themselves. Keep being yourself, follow your dreams and you will never be bored.
Yes I really agree with this. When I look at the lives of the people I know that are busy and doing a jillion things all the time, I wouldn’t trade places with them. It seems like mostly noise to me.
This resonates strongly with me, I turn 50 this year and the older I get the more I prefer my own company. I can't stand the bbq conversations that revolve around houses, renovations and material crap. I'm very happy to just go to a remote surf spot and be the only one there or even share it with a couple of like minded souls
Boring is subjective, a human construct to entrap people into doing what other people want them to do. Boring is beautiful. 👊☘️
Amen
A buddhist monk once told me the definition of boredom. Boredom is finding fault with the present moment. Are you doing that? If not, you'll never be bored or boring!
Wow. I like that
Well, that was very wisely put by the monk.
I always ask, how can I get bored while being myself 😄
That's an excellent definition. It's also a great means of not becoming boring.
Wow yes , that definition sums it up perfectly , I have never been bored for 28 years , since 8 had cancer and was not given long to live , since then I appreciate where I am anytime anywhere ,
I wouldn’t say this is boring, this is the best way to live. I don’t socialise because my life style is so far from everyone else’s that I feel completely disconnected from the majority of people, I do everything on my own, travel, gym, hiking, i go out for food and coffee on my own and I’m not sad, I enjoy my life. I don’t enjoy nights out drinking, I enjoy being out in nature, travel, exercising often, cycling, yoga, hiking and meditating.
Would it feel wrong to do all those same things with someone else who also likes doing them alone? Then you could both do them alone together
@@yeboscrebo4451 Certainly not, my point is, finding someone who is at the same level as me is not an easy task lol. Most ppl enjoy drinking every weekend if not every day, have no purpose in life or self development.
same! ❤
I feel the same. I surf, go to the gym. I have friends, but I don't see them. I can spend all day working on my midi collection. Before I got married I would spend Mon-Fri by myself and meet my friends for one beer and one coffee, and a chat at their house. This would all happen in a 4 hour time frame, and then back to my house for a quiet night watching TV by myself. Sometimes I had girlfriends, but I'd limit my time with them. I was married for 18 years and had 2 kids, and met people through their sports activities, but I didn't consider them social friends. Now I'm separated, and I'm back to being alone most of the time. M kids live with me, and I still see my ex, still "date" her about once a week, but I just do my own stuff and wait for the surf to happen. Then I call my friends and we go surfing. Doesn't happen too often these days. Weirdly, I'm often the life of any gathering, but I don't seek out those occasions.
I'd love to find a quiet woman one day to occasionally share some alone time, but until then, leave me alone.🤣🤣🤣
And Tejapi, if that's your pic - you're freakin' gorgeous!!
I am in the exact same boat as you. I have a couple great friends but we don’t hang out. It’s weird…I would do anything for them and vice versa but I only like being alone.
As a fellow "boring person" I really appreciate this video. I've always felt guilty and embarrassed for having a quiet, simple and unexciting life and I'm learning to accept it and not care what anyone thinks.
Boring’ has a negative connotation I would see it as someone who likes to be at one in the present and hasn’t succumbed to the constant madness of distraction in life that were bombarded with! 🙏
I never understood what people mean by someone is 'boring'. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s just another label created by humans. Boring because you are quiet? Boring because you do you? Boring because you found your way? I don’t get it.
Relate much. My family can't seem to understand that this is the way I want to live my life.
I turned minimalist about 5 years ago. The world is all a perception put out by an elite group of criminals that want people lost and weak and unable or interested to stand up against the criminals. TV programming has worked great for them. Now Mask up and obey.
@@old-soul they are stressed and lost trying to live life through others. Sad society out there
One person's boredom is another person's peace and friggin' quiet.
So true!
This is raw, man. In a world that constantly pushes us to socialize and not take in consideration the ones who prefers solitude, it's a thing of beauty to just say "fuck it" and do you. cheers mate
Couldn't have said it better
I have to laugh! As a 75 year old surfer (who surfs on 1-2' waves on a long board) I often apologize to my daughter and son in law for being boring when we get together to surf or have a meal. I live alone, wave to neighbors and offer to help them but don't socialize. I meet plenty of nice people - surfers, boogie boarders and families on the beach & make instant short term friends there. I remember the days when I "had to fit in" and therefore made bad decisions that mostly caused grief (to myself and others). I used to try to date older ladies but they all asked "what do you do?". I would say I surf, take care of chores and otherwise do whatever I feel like doing. Not a one found that appealing! (LOL). I Don't drink, smoke or take any sort of drugs (even after open heart surgery) and I have to say I've never been more happy and peaceful! The only regret is that I didn't figure this out sooner!
A surfer knows when they are old because you know more dead surfers than live ones. 😮
I can relate. Since turning 40 anyways. At 60 now Whatever floats youre boat. Right?
Love this Jim :)
i can totally relate to try to date older ladies. its hard and draining. you need to find someone whos open for it, and most arent. in fact, a lot like to humiliate and rub in the fact that theres no way. its cruel when youre young.
Make the most of what you can, while you can. Don't be afraid to try new things. Don't surrender to age, adapt to it.
Nobody lives for ever but how long we are young is much shorter.
Try not to take drugs, any drugs, even those that the doctor wants you to. It will shorten an already short journey.
Finding what works for you is a constant struggle that is part of aging. Never expect the answers in a gift packet for $$$.
I'm a sixty year old woman, the opposite of a surfer, and UA-camr, appreciating your honesty and boringness. I'm encouraged to embrace more, what appears to be boring, but is actually very rich. Thank you.
From one 60-ish yr old woman to another - I completely agree!
Ditto from another ❤
I'm a woman celebrating my 66th birthday today. LOVE this comment!!!
same! 60 y.o. woman here!
Boring 😊 63 & that's alright with me 🧡💙🧡
I struggled with being a boring person all my life. It wasn't until about a year ago, at age 44, I finally accepted this is who I am. I don't need my life to be a Budweiser Commercial of a beach party. I'm simply better at being apart from instead of, apart of the crowd. This video is so relatable and spot on for me. So very grateful for this.
This video has been really valuable to me. I'm 25 and also a "boring" person, and with that comes so much self judgment and unease rooted in the expectations of what the majority of people are doing in their 20s. I'm learning to accept and love myself wholly for the fact that I'd much rather be in my own company out in the garden, walking, cooking, reading books, or just being, rather than being out with people. I find that I really need to be in the right space to engage with others, or it will drain me. It's so good to hear that you are similar.... I've always thought there was something wrong with me
Cheers Kale 🌱
Hi kale,
1. You're not boring.
2. Reading books in a natural place is more interesting than sitting in a bar listening to drunks.
3. Of course they're jealous of you!
4. Don't confuse boring/boredom with tranquility.
5. You are inspiring the next generation of surfers.
6. You've helped my surfing immensely, and I'm happy that I joined the Surfer's Roadmap. You should have seen me rip today.
I second this. Where I live I’m considered odd because I’ve removed myself from the usual getting on the piss etc but to be considered boring because I’m not on the piss or have a party house or whatever it’s bullshit
Haha I love this comment thank you so much :)
Love this quiet, honest, vulnerable post so much. Good on you for respecting yourself and living life your way, my deepest respect. This is crazy inspirational for someone like me who wears herself out being a social chameleon.
👏👏
In reality 90% of the world want to like this [ At Peace in their Person ].
I’m also a boring person. Nice to meet you.
I’m a highly sensitive empath who finds interaction with other people is emotionally and physically draining. I love being alone and doing adventures by myself. I golf, cycle, run, travel, swim, kayak, fish…..all by my lonesome. I love to read and play my guitar. Everything I love does not involve another person 😍
I'm the same, but can't seem to make my extroverted red head sister understand that I am very happy to be in in own company . She will never get it
That sounds perfect to me! We should hang out sometime…oh no, wait lol!
THAT IS NOT BY CHOICE
I can relate. Just curious how do you handle work?
@@RhymeandRamblings For me, it's my work that makes my alone time even more precious. I am a teacher and dealing with children and other adults all day long!
I have to admit, I'd never seen or heard of you, Kale, before today. But for some fantastic reason, this video popped up in my suggestions and I'm so glad it did. It's a cracking, definitely NOT boring illustration of vulnerability and invitation to be authentic. All we can ever really do is be ourselves; trying to be anything else is destined for failure and disappointment. Thanks for the great reminder. Keep well and keep smiling : )
Same here! 🎉
You are definitely NOT boring! You are awake and peaceful (in a messed up world full of people walking around in a continuous fog). 🥰
As a boring person myself I can say that I'm very content with who I am and I don't produce any drama for myself and others.... And more importantly I don't do other people's drama either.
Here here 💃 had my own recent check in lately, recognising the temptress of drama.. No thanks, adios amigo, I value my own humble awareness and freedom from unnecessary drama and guilt pushing.
To anyone feeling a sense of unease or division from self by another, trust your gut, gaze upon disordered attributes from narcissism to the supposed spiritual sage.
Corruptions from a calm self state are abundant.
Never doubt your own goodness and humility.
Others will attempt to thrive upon it, dismantle, entangle, confuse and occupy your true, healthy psyche-being.
If in doubt, get out and be in your own honest, trusting space 👌🏼
@@apocalypticdaze2139 well written response... Thank you
It's only boring to those who can't appreciate the deep contentment in life that is hidden beyond the word and futile emotionally charged behaviors.
@@apocalypticdaze2139 it's not an easy place to exist in at the moment, to be content, at peace and happy within your present moment. It's as if people are addicted and hypnotised by the need for incessant drama in their lives. TV shows, social media, the professional victimhood that gets people money and fame. Once upon a time a person might share that within a tight trusted circle of family n friends. But now it's shouted from the roof tops, the infantile cry of look at me rising from the crib into the town square. Personally I'm sick to death of it, my fuse for self inflicted stories of drama to be someone of interest is the tip of the narcasistic iceberg. The human race has got themselves well n truly hemmed in by imagined stories that no one is really interested in.
You’re not boring - your life is authentic, has purpose and depth of meaning. You’re far from boring.
As a long time introvert living in an extroverted world, I can relate to your need for me time. I am also a "boring person" and have zero need to change that. Your life looks beautifully, fulfilling to me and you seem healthy and happy living with your personal pace of life. I am glad for you that you are comfortable in your skin. Carry on.
The UA-cam algorithms randomly suggested this to me and I'm really glad I watched it. I totally resonate with what you're saying. I wouldnt even so much say you're being boring. You're being real and authentic and not so much going with the crowd and that's how we should all be living our lives.
My brother, you are authentic. That's all that matters. Your content feels like checking in with a friend. It's pure.
Thank you that's lovely feedback :)
I used to feel almost guilty that for me quiet and simple was enough but with each year that passes I feel more and more at ease with this “invisible” life. Likewise I don’t judge others for living in a more colourful way, I guess it’s really a matter of where your at and what your seeking, for me it’s peace
Comparison is the thief of joy, especially in today’s world. Leading a “boring” and quiet life is an awesome way to be. Even the thought of going to nightclub in a big city gives me anxiety
I definitely don't define this as boring. I see your existence as more in tune with yourself and your surroundings, moving at a natural pace. As far as I'm concerned, you're living the dream.
Definitely living my dream :)
Can relate to this, on a bus tour round Europe me and my husband found out we were described as ‘nice people but a little bit boring’ because we went to bed early and couldn’t be bothered with the party bus life. It always felt like quite the insult but it’s grown on me with age, loving my boring, early to bed, book reading, healthy, surfing life! Great video
It’s taken me 45 years to work out who I am, what I actually enjoy and model my life to better serve that. The peace that this “boring” life brings is incredibly rewarding of itself.
I am 42 and just started actively working out who I am (previously it was just a mind numbing go with the flow/expectation mentality) hope to truly be aware about my authentic self and live more intentionality and be less apologetic moving forward. 😊
Same. Boring is the best!
I think creating peace in ourselves is what is needed to be able to show up in a loving and attentive way for others.
You have no idea how helpful this video is. I am a recently retired 58 year-old female and I'm getting more "boring" as I figure out this new phase of life I'm in. I can identify with the confusion and mix of emotions you describe when considering doing or being different. I think the word "boring" is what some others may use to describe me, but I welcome it because it means to me that I'm finally pursuing my own interests and peace. I think you're doing a fine job of pursuing yours. Thanks for the video!
the biggest problem is the judgement associated with living a "boring" vs "exciting" life. Over the past year I have tried accepting my introversion more and it feels like I have finally ended a war with myself. I used to force myself to go out every once in a while to bars and clubs with my friends out of politeness and honoring their invitations. Every time it was dreadful to be in that environment and would sap all of my battery. The lights, noise, transience of people you meet for one day only was just too fake for me. The same way this is peoples idea of a good time, my idea of a good time is watching youtube or movies alone. Boring or not, im not going to force myself into environments that I've never liked to please others. While there is some pain in shedding a few friends because I turn their invites down now, the internal peace I have gained is so worth it
Absolutely! Be true to yourself and you’ll discover peace and happiness.
You are a male version of me. Everything you said could have come out of one of my notebooks. I just returned from a solo camping trip and it was so refreshing, reading, writing and breathing in the world in my own time and not feeling pulled away from what is important. Be well and I’m glad you appeared on my suggested page
same! 🤗❤️
Same 😊
Same 😊
Boring is just a label we’ve been taught to judge a simple life that’s real. Boring is a label by people who are caught up in a life of constantly chasing more.
Yay to us the ‘boring’ people living our life the way we want to.
Thank you for popping up in my feed this morning and reminding me of this 😊
At 58 years old I’ve finally learned to embrace my introverted personality and stop trying to fit in where I feel uncomfortable and drained. I travel alone and it gets questioned all the time but as soon as I jump in my campervan and hit the road, alone, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Appreciate this video so much, thank you!
From my experience, this questioning is even more common when you're a woman. Some people, including my mom, can't believe that a woman might truly need and desire freedom and independence.
@@fletch2117 I’ve always been independent, it’s now also a necessity though being on my own. Sometimes life forces us to be adventurous and face our fears 😀.
If you are boring my friend...I'm lining up to be boring 😂You are merely content and I assume comfortable in your own skin, which sadly most people these days are not and are constantly chasing the newest things to try and stay current. You are one of the hardest people to find these days...someone genuine...keep it up. Cheers
Thank you :)
Love that perspective. Not boring but content and comfortable. It's all about the perceptions, right, our own and others.
This 53 year old gal who watches your videos believing she can lose enough weight to surf at least one wave before she dies is jumping for joy for you!!!! Best video I’ve seen in years. Im so proud of you.
Thank you so much Lisa
You can try surfing no matter what, even if you think you can't! Paralyzed people can surf nowadays, people without legs even. All it takes is just going out there and doing it. Book a lesson. It's not easy, but I guarantee you'll have a fun day anyhow.
If you can do burpee you can surf. Fat people can do burpees.
@@ieism1 THANK YOU
You can do it. Set aside the time to learn. You can start with a boogie board, then use a surfboard and paddle a lot. The extra weight will come off while you are enjoying yourself, staying in the flow.
This is such an incredibly beautiful video. Life can be so amazing when you listen to yourself instead of the society / culture you were born in.
love you, people! ❤
Can relate to this 200% and glad you are brave enough to admit it. People treat me like there is something wrong with me or like I have two heads because I prefer to do my own thing than to be hanging out all the time with others.Thank you for embracing this. Its okay and "normal" to be boring!
same, but who cares!?
enjoy your life! ❤
I really love the story of this video. I'm 22 and probably don't fit into the mould of people my own age. Like you, I'm pretty academically inclined (studying a pretty tough degree) and would rather wake up early for a surf than go party with the few mates I have. I don't even drink haha. I am extremely comfortable hanging out with myself. So much so that I even get anxious hanging out with others as my life isn't filled with crazy stories or moments of excitement - it is in fact, pretty boring.
I'd love to be a "boring person" and surf with you in the mornings! I'm in SoCal! I'm 22 and finishing a physics degree.
Feel the same and 20
I'm with ya bruv! True and true. I'm 24 and surrounded by the noise of others my age. Couldn't even bother with "hanging out" or even drinking haha. I spend my days Learning about things that interest me. Wouldn't have it any other way. Cheers
Was going to write this same comment mate! ...23 here. Cheers :)
Love this :)
Bravo ! I am 54 and it took lockdown in a tiny flat in London to make me recognise who I am.
An introvert who enjoys my own company.
I didn't have to "do, do, do".
I have since moved back to Africa, to a cottage at my moms place, and live my boring life to the fullest ! Her garden and dogs are enough stimulus for me.
And... YT is filled with brilliant people like ECKHART TOLLE and RUPERT SPIRA who affirm that "being empty" of ambition or the need to please others, is perfectly alright.
Tolle's UA-cam has really helped me lately, regarding living in the moment. I will look at Rupert Spira
I’m 62 in a couple days, and use to be a real social butterfly, but in the last 5 years I’ve become super boring and I love it!
Being yourself, appreciating stillness/being by yourself, reading instead of connecting are not boring things. You are not boring, not at all! I find it incredible, that you did follow what's good for you especially as a teenager. That's a sign of authenticity and this is exciting.
Btw.: just the fact that you can surf makes you an extremely interesting person, because I can not do this (yet). :)
Sounds to me like someone who is coming more beautifully into their own, and reminds me of a great saying, "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Thank you for sharing your authentic self! It truly is what the world needs now! Three cheers for peace, tranquility and knowing thyself!
Love those words!
lovely and wisdom words about tensionat and relaxation. ❤
This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I salute your lifestyle choices there is so many of us thinking we are alone with this. Because we don't get to meet other hermits while hermiting 😅
That is exactly it.
Yeah it’s funny as a hermit I find social media gives me just the right amount of connection without becoming overbearing.
Whoever thinks they get to decide what is boring and what is exciting might have to reconsider. It's about being yourself and going for what your heart longs for. Everything else is fabricated and externally imposed BS. Continue on your path, its beautiful.
Thank you! This was one of the first "exercises in authenticity" that I've seen from anyone in the surfing world. It truly resonates with me (an intoverted extrovert who prefers to be alone amongst others) and makes me feel less alone knowing that you operate similarly. Keep it real & keep making awesome content like this that's true to you & which others can relate to & you'll have the largest group of loyal subscribers. It seems sometimes surfers suffer from a lack of intelligence. Thank you for showing that surfers don't have to be ditzes. Rather, you can foster inner peace & harmony through balanced pursuits & self care. Keep up the great work, brother!
Thank you legend :)
Im shocked at how much this has resonated with how im feeling right now, and I'm very grateful to have come across this vid. Thank you for being you 😊
I'm so glad :) thank you
What is boring? What's important is working out who we are and what we need. FOMO is the worst of the modern illnesses. I love your honesty and passion. Thanks for sharing.
Very touching. Half the population is introvert but we are pushed at school and by society to be extrovert.
I feel like you. My life may appear boring to most people, yet, with my introvert husband, we have travelled the world riding our motorcycles ( South America, Africa, Russia, Europe, central Asia…) by stages, over the years, and spent several months exploring the Balkans with a campervan… we passed on many offers of staying with people on our travels and we don’t relish socialising. It is exhausting. Even in my youth I hate clubbing or group events. I never fitted there.
Now we are settle in a village, and we socialise even less. Thanks Covid!
Embrace your introvert side. I am sure you have a rich inner life. You are not boring, many extroverts are, as they need to fill every second with action as they have no thoughts or inner life.
appreciate the positive message -
I recently realized that by saying "no" to partying and going out, I get to spend time with people who seek active experiences, and less with those who just want to eat and drink and sit around watching TV.
By saying no to participating in those, it has enabled me to lean into the hobbies and pursuits that are truly exciting.. I exercise more often, feel more energized, play soccer a few times a week, and even joined a competitive soccer team.
Also, waking up early over the last few years has been a huge win for me, on days when the stars align and the surf + water quality is good enough to go out (which isn't often hah), I get to surf early before it gets crowded.
Love the videos and the Channel! Keep it up!
Thank you :)
Great video. The content reminds me of one of my favourite life quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson 'To be oneself in a world constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment'. Pertinant content in today's age of internet. Nice one 🤙🏻
Love that!
Started following you a few weeks ago, as I’m just learning to surf. Watching this video was such a bonus and I do hope you continue to create this type of content. As a 48-year old man who was taught early to suppress their emotions, it’s inspiring to hear someone be so “real”.
I've never seen any of your videos before, but this one found me at the right time. I'm a slow-living "boring" person too. And I feel more content in this lifestyle than I ever did when I was pushing myself to go everywhere and do everything all the time. But I've also felt the insecurity you describe here. Thanks for saying what you said. It made me feel seen and validated a little bit. I think others may see people like us as working to be happy with less, but I see it as learning to see how much more there is to be joyful about in the mundane than others might see. That's a gift, I think. Not that one way is morally superior to the other, as you say here, just that our way isn't a sacrifice to us, you know? Anyway, thanks for being a source of joy to me today. Go well 💜
This is a wonderful video, you are not alone in how you feel. Just be mindful of spending too much time in introspection without having other people to bounce off. You don't need to party with them, but sometimes just literally checking in on your perspective with other people is really important, particularly as someone who is clearly very intelligent.
Great advice :)
Beautifully spoken, Kale. I'm happily living my monotonous life too, and I don't think I'd like to live any other way. There is so much to be content and grateful for. Embracing the JOMO vibes.
Mate I 100% empathise with this. As much as I like the occassional pint with mates or a big night out, or just socialising in general, I've never been able to sustain those encounters for longer than a single evening. On surfing trips with mates I'm the one that stays at the hotel reading by the second night rather than go out and socialise with new people. As much as it's important to socialise and get that new human interaction periodically, I don't think anyone should feel ashamed of being overwhelmed by it sometimes. Even my most outgoing friends will admit to "faking" that super enthusiastic outgoing persona from time to time.
I my opinion, the boring stuff is the most spectacular. Going to the grocery store is like a safari ride through the outback for me. Coffee shops, people watching - fascinating. Hiking, bugs, mushrooms, thinking about how a dog's brain works, stopping to actually look at the clouds. It takes very little for me to be extremely mesmerized by life, sometimes too mesmerized, but I'm working on it. We're all under pressure, and I think connecting to nature, and ourselves are the most epic and heroic things we can do right now. Let's all find who we truly are!!!
Agree w/ & love the grocery store analogy ! I can have a short chat w/ an acquaintance , store clerk , neighbor & having filled up my " socialization tank " for the week , am then quite content to return to my country home , dogs , books , music , etc. Meeting a person while walking my dogs at the local county / national park is nice as some have shared their interest in dogs , bird watching , observing monarch butterflies , etc. yet I've noticed most people are also enjoying their time at the park alone . 🐕🌳 📚 🎶💟
Thank you for sharing Kale. I think being comfortable in your own skin and embracing yourself for who you are is such a valuable skill to have learned. I’m trying to learn to do the same thing and seeing videos like this definitely help :)
You’re not boring, you’re an introvert. As a fellow introvert, I feel you. I have an Amazon prime membership (highly recommend for unlimited books) and I’m happy staying home with my son and reading several books a week. But the struggle of socialising is real, and anxiety inducing. The idea of dating is terrifying. I wish there was a dating app just for introverts, that would simplify things ☺️
🙏🏻
Boring people like me are my favorite companions, we know who we are, what we like, and we don’t need to be entertained or dazzled. Just quietly loving life!
I feel like some of the most genuine and sincere connections I’ve made with someone came from a slow, and quiet atmosphere because I was able to give them my undivided attention. Ive never adored a busy life that required copious amounts of social engagements, “friendly” competition, etc. I will gladly pick a “boring” life over a fast life.
Keep being you mate, that’s the best advice I’ve got in this crazy self consuming world.
Everyone’s too concerned about themselves to notice anyway!
Thank you, Kale for making this post and BEing YOU! It was no coincidence your video popped up for me… I am feeling very similar in that I enjoy my own space, freedom, and Connection to Source by BEing in my own presence. Yet often judge myself as “not enough” should I interact with others who seem to “do” so much. It’s so validating to know I am NOT alone… and that a beautiful BEing like you does exist, happily connecting to their own Source, and bringing light through authentic presence. Thank you for inspiring me. I love watching you surf!
I've just got to say, this was truly needed. Thank you. I could see myself in this story almost word for word, and your reflections made my anxieties regarding me as a person just melt away. Again, thank you.
Yay Kale!!! This is so wonderful! Thanks for speaking up for authenticity and contentment in simple pleasures. I recently was lucky enough to be able to take a solo trip to your lovely country (I am 67 and retired from teaching now.) I sincerely hope to make your acquaintance someday in person!
enjoying calm, the landscape, is not boring, there is a lot of interesting things you can do and love without needing to have the unbearable energy of a Mr Beast video. The 90´s are looong gone, entertainment is everywhere to a point it´s overwhelming, having an environment free of cultural "noise" for yourself is a gift.
Love that you shared this. I threw a 40th bday party for my husband last weekend and decided it was boring. We now prefer smaller, more intimate groups where pressures to be the funny drunkard aren’t there and conversations and interactions are richer. Good on you I say, I agree.
Well said.
Love that :)
This video couldn't have been recommended to me at a more perfect time. I've been thinking about this for a while, it's nice to hear it coming from someone else, thanks Kale :)
First time here and not sure how your channel came up for me but so happy it did. I'll watch this more than once as I become more intentional about what truly makes me happy. Nature and me time, paddling, walks, good books, real conversations - these are the beautiful things that make my life joyful.
This is brilliant, a slow and apparently boring life is in so many ways the most deep and meaningful. I can attest that spending much time alone in nature, is actually really healthy and allows us to connect with the wider world in a more positive way.
I wish my life were boring enough to surf every day. Jokes aside I think it's so sick you've worked towards your ideal life. Honestly it's really inspirational I strive to live a simple yet fulfilling life
I’m 100% like you… (halfway around the world)
“Boring” to me is FREEDOM
FREEDOM from stupid small talk, egoic BS, consumer fads, competitive idiots, drama queens and kings.
All that stuff wears me out. I WANT TO BE ALONE. I sort of have too. I will anger people because It seems to offend them that I don’t give a crap about their insanity.
I’m a super quiet guy… Loner to me is not boring and yes I have few close friends BUT just like me they live very separate lives from the dying status quo and we see each other whenever things work out, there is no agenda or timelines that must be followed whether together or apart… why ? We respect each other’s independence BUT if there is a real problem we are there as soon as we can be.
Living free from the burden of a collapsing social system is not boring… It’s actually a lot of work. Living free from the poison food you buy in a store or at a fast food garage dump isn’t easy… it’s a lot of work. Living a no debt life isn’t easy, it’s very hard AND doing ALL THAT and still have high quality stuff (just a lot less of it) is something that makes people understand that it’s actually a really smart way to live (boring or not).
Problem is most are so indebted to the system they can’t easily get out…
This video just showed up on my feed, and I think most people would think my life to be extremely boring, so I thought I’d check it out. I think your life looks like a life full of beauty, nature, and health that you love living. That’s a wonderful life, not boring. I think you’ve probably always had a good idea of who you are and what you want, while most people go searching for those things in other people and experiences. It makes me happy to see people who have the opportunity to follow their dreams and desires, and actually do it. Follow your heart and enjoy every minute of it!
This definitely resonated with me. Never really stopped to think about it / put it to words, but have struggled with this. Thank you - you articulated it well and was nice to hear your perspective.
Beautiful video Kale, thank you. Stop saying that you are boring, you are NOT!!! Do what you want to do and feel good about it. You’re in nature the healthiest environment we humans need. Are you living your dream? Surfing and appreciating nature is amazing!!! Embrace it!! Peace and love Rob, Newquay England. ❤
Lucky enough to be living my dream :)
Exactly how I feel. Went to a festival in the city I live last night. I don’t really drink or anything, and still came back early. But I still found myself thinking “I’m just not enjoying this at all”.
All I wanted to do was be at home, chilling with the cats, with a decaf cappuccino, learning something on UA-cam.
Thanks bro, you sure ain’t alone!! It’s bliss being a chill tranquil person. I love it and more and more finding confidence in it. 😍
Hi Kale
You are grounded enough to resist the social media pressure to promote a fantasy life.... that is actually lived by no one.
Following your own path makes you a bright light in the social media world that may inspire others to find the strength to forge their own way to a content life.
I am a 75 year old you….
I turned 70 sleeping in the back of my old Chevy van in a rest area on another solo surf trip.
since then I have surfed Portugal, Thailand, Mexico and the entire US East Coast.
Still chasing OH swells alone in remote locations and loving the surf life as much as when I was a Grom in 1964.
Nothing more peaceful or better soul food than a pre dawn session, soaking up the gift of another day.
Making surf videos brings me in contact with thousands of people around the world, who I always love meeting …. but most are past the party stage of life.
My only plan is to surf better at 76 than I did last year…… never let up, and you can keep growing!
Ironically, I think living in your van traveling around and surfing sounds pretty damn exciting! My boring life consists of reading, going to bed early, non-socializing and skiing every day I can and I love it!!
Lovely to hear your story, and thanks for helping to peel away the mask of social media. We live in a world where it is all to easy to confuse curated media images with reality.
Curated. That’s a good word for it.
I can relate to your experience. I love how you put it into words. Thank you because it has been a forever questioning with myself "am I boring ?" "Am I not enough ?" " why am I lonely ? " ^^
Totally appreciate this! Everything you said. The conflict around feeling inadequate in party and social settings, but also realising as I get older that maybe it's not for a lack of skill, but a true preference for more quieter situations where I know what is happening.
Thank you so much for sharing Kale! This is your first video that I've seen, surfing's not really something I've engaged with before. But what you talk about here is so relatable and poignant for me and my experience. Thank you for sharing, mad props
As a 24 year old I can really connect with kale on this one. In todays society is very difficult to find people with this “slow paced life”. I’m very socially awkward and I struggle to connect with people because now a days everyone is just into partying, drinking, concerts, sex, etc. I’m a surfer and I love to connect with nature, keep a small circle and like having a slow paced life like kale. But it’s difficult to find people like this. I’ve had quite some interest in some women but none have had the same ideology as me in this not to say it’s a bad thing but I get rejected since I’m boring when I try to show them a side of life like this one that kale presents. I’ve already accepted that I may stay single haven’t lost hope yet in finding someone who share these same values as me but I’ll see what life says.
Trust that the right people will align with you and come into your life at the right time :)
Keep your chin up. There are introverted women out there. Maybe you should put yourself in a place (location, etc.) where that special introverted woman would be. I met my partner in a place of very mutual interest, an art supply store. I was so intrigued with him, after asking him why he was looking at handmade papers, that I invited him to go across the parking lot to a coffee shop. All very safe. Low risk. It all worked. So put yourself in places that interest you and see who shows up. Smile. Invite them to low-risk places for coffee, etc.
I don't think this is a boring life at all. People compare themselves to others too often, myself included. It is bad, something I am working on not doing. Awesome vid!
A very interesting take, and I am very happy you stayed true to your honesty and chose to share it with us. Sendin love to your journey and keep sharing your thoughts.
This is the first time I have seen you or any of your videos. It is simply the best message and video yet. Thank God there are still humans out there like you.
I think i have become a boring person. Weep occasionally i think with depression (hope that stops soon) after leaving my significient other after 26 years. Its very sad but each day the weight 9n my shoulders seems lighter. I own my mistakes. I am 71 and a half. So it was not a spontenous decision to leave him. If only the tears would stop!!!
You lead actually an interesting life as you have a sense of adventure. Also you don't have to worry about time and money like very few. Also you are a very good videographer or film maker and I like your narrative. You are a good writer too! Thanks for sharing such an adventure. In the USA they would say you are a "rubber tramp" in a sense, someone who has a very nice RV to drive around on your adventures. I like your soundtrack too! Maybe you'd like some of my music with a soundtrack my solo piano and other originals. It would be an honor!
Great vid Kale, watched your first earlier vids almost a decade ago and seeing your videos appear on my feed again and seeing how much you have evolved is really beautiful.
Thank you :)
I love you for posting this! So many of us boring people ( non stress seekers) need you!
Wow! What a honest confession. Bravo to you to do it publicly. If you feel like not being neurotypical person, that is totally ok if you don't suffer and struggle with it. If everything is ok and you find your balance, live your life and be happy! You are not supposed be in adequacy with this mad overstimulating world we actually live. Anyway, big thanks to you for what you are doing.❤
It's important to find people who make you realize there's nothing wrong with being who you are.
No, wrong, people are the problem. loneliness is so under rated.
Hi Kale, I can 100% relate to this. I’m realising that finding meaning silence and simplicity is in fact far more profound than finding meaning in noise and business because in the former its harder to find and often takes more presence/attention, therefore holding more value. Love the new narrative 👌
Thank you mate :) Love that realisation.
Really appreciate these introspective glimpses into the soul, Kale. Being told throughout school that I was either really quiet or boring, surfing has become my new-found hobby since, amongst many other things, it lets me calmly float amongst other people in the line up without directly engaging with any of them. This video was highly relatable and authentic, thanks for sharing it!
Thank you for watching 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Kale. This is potentially the best post you’ve ever made - I’m sure you’ve read in praise of slow….. your life and the way you live it is extraordinary. The way you’ve described these feelings equally so. Your grammar and tone of phrase here is so precise, I am sure its resonated with many fellow - surfers - seekers of something more. Great work, I long to one day live a very similar life as I’m sure do many…. Rarely comment on anything but felt I had to today..
Thank you so much Jamie :)
Love this kind of content as well ! Pure authenticity and self miroring existensial questions . Keep the busy surf stoke alive and the gentle calm boring way of living a part of life is indeed a way for being fully happy and in the now. Love your work, Greetings from Mauritius Island mate !
Thank you :)
This massively resonated with me. Thank you for creating this video, one of the best I've seen on UA-cam lately.
Wow, thank you 😊
Love your channel and this video. You are REAL and it exudes through your videos and content. I hope you continue to make them and that you find satisfaction and happiness in all of your endeavors. Thanks, Kale!
Thank you so much 😊
I don’t think you’re boring, Kale. A lot of people see you as living the dream. Keep being true to your authentic self man. 🤙🏻
Thank you Brock! This is the best content i have seen all Spring! I am glad you talked about the necessity of me time, self care!! 🥰
I spent most of my teens and 20s feeling negatively, sometimes extremely, about my own "boring" tendencies, a lot of the same ones you have, which are pretty typical of an internally oriented person. It was tough to be the one kid in the dorm getting ready for bed while everyone else was getting ready to go out, and I definitely cried and felt cursed by my personality quite a bit. In fact, it got in the way of realizing that I did have good friends, and people did appreciate me for who I was. Looking back I feel i was pretty cool for not forcing myself into a role that didn't fit and would've made me wicked uncomfortable in my own skin. I wish I could've seen that at the time.
Probably everyone would be happier with the absence of social pressure. Wouldn't it be nice if in it's place we could have kindness and acceptance. Anyway, excellent video!
I found your channel as a beginner channel not too long ago. I am a beginner learning brand new as a 50 year old and I only started learning surfing last month. And this resonated with me more than any of your other videos. You've found the peace you were looking for in a way while following your path.
Thanks for always sharing your stoke with us, man.
Would love to get your top 10 or top 20 book list sometime.
Thank you! I’ll endeavour to share those books :)
This is so comforting to watch and read all the responses. I alway use to say 'boring is only used by people who are afraid to be boring.' As many things it's just a social construct. People who are authentic and stay true to themselves are in my opinion never boring. I feel your struggle to also be intrigued by it or it giving a kind of pressure. But seeing this video and reading the comments made me re-appreciate and reassure that 'being boring' chasing waves or being and appreciating nature, minding our own business, staying true to yourself without doing harm is exactly what 2023 needs. So please keep making your content as a counter balance for all the other 'madness'. It's a crazy world out there ;). I am very happy to stumbled up on this video and wish your authentic being [and your books] very wel!