Why Men Pull Away When Things Are Good | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

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  • @matboggs
    @matboggs  Рік тому +2

    Want to enhance your self-love? Check out this meditation: www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/bf/mag/self-love-activation-kit

  • @kristiefang8173
    @kristiefang8173 5 років тому +376

    Quietly pulling away instead of open and sincere communication shows how immature they are. Don't waste too much time ladies!

    • @0fficialdregs
      @0fficialdregs 4 роки тому +9

      or they might be focusing on themselves for a day or two similar to when women do the same thing

    • @mkiwaloewen-rudgers5963
      @mkiwaloewen-rudgers5963 3 роки тому +1

      That is what is happening to me.

    • @nandlabh6349
      @nandlabh6349 3 роки тому +10

      Insecure man are a huge problem

    • @namithanandakumarful
      @namithanandakumarful 2 роки тому +11

      Immature or indecisive, whatever you call it, it is just not worth my time. If he is into me, he will make the effort. If he makes me feel bad, I will call it quits before he can even spell quit.

    • @hellojunes2778
      @hellojunes2778 2 роки тому

      @@namithanandakumarful truth...

  • @valerievalle5207
    @valerievalle5207 5 років тому +453

    I was with a guy who promised he wanted to get married and have kids, but then he would back away soon after bringing up the topic. After 2 years of that, I said goodbye. I'm now with an amazing man who loves me and my daughter very much! It may be hard to walk away from someone, if you feel you've invested so much into them, but I promise that it'll be worth it!

    • @spearmint4093
      @spearmint4093 5 років тому +8

      I hope you are right. I always meet these kind of guys... I hate them.l with avoidant attachment style

    • @marwahaddag986
      @marwahaddag986 5 років тому +2

      ok then i hope you're having a great life ^^

    • @JohnSmith-jz4pk
      @JohnSmith-jz4pk 4 роки тому +2

      jade Mabye look into why you have poor taste in partner’s. Therapy really helps!

    • @aishailikeyoursongssomucch8601
      @aishailikeyoursongssomucch8601 4 роки тому

      Same this side and congrats

    • @adaariana925
      @adaariana925 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing your experience, that’s the point.. the time you invested in them, it’s like you know they enjoy really your company, even they are like this 👌🏻 close to commit and then #2,3,4,5 of the things Matt mentions in this video comes to his mind and you’re screwed. And you feel like nothing that you did in all that time was even worth it, it’s like they didn’t care although you know they care. It’s also true that when they know they are involved in feelings they are truly afraid of abandonment because someone before abandon them or make them suffer, and who pays that?? Yeah, yeah the person who treat it like no one else will. I’m in that situation right now and it’s so hard to fame apart 🤯😖 I’m struggling... 😢 Thank you Matt, I follow you a couple of years and enjoy and learn so much with your videos and your contribution of helping women in healthy relationships.

  • @gamecrusher2024
    @gamecrusher2024 Рік тому +7

    I have experienced this "pulling away", however, I just said, "That's his loss!"

  • @memoir02
    @memoir02 5 років тому +342

    This is the story of my life and at 31 years old I am sick of it. To all future men I may meet: If you're not into me like that, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. Do not flirt with me, play off our strong chemistry and conversation, and act like you're so into me and are alluding to dating....then not follow through and expect me to chase you. I wish I didn't get so attached so easily when I meet a good looking guy and we seem to hit it off. But I get attached because I want that special relationship/connection with a guy so bad 😔

    • @nofybn7794
      @nofybn7794 5 років тому +27

      I used to. I am done. DONE.

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 5 років тому +51

      AngieR Crawley the irony is once you don’t care so much about getting in a relationship “so bad”...they’ll come flocking! You’ll put off a more confident, whole energy!
      Unfortunately we put off desperate energy when we want anything “so bad”...
      look at car lots!! If you act like you couldn’t really care less, they cater and will make deals more readily with you...if you have to have a certain car, they’ve got you..you’ve given away your power.
      When you see your immense value, worth, love spending time alone and don’t “have” to have anyone to complete you, but rather complement you... just watch, it’ll happen!
      Many blessings🌸

    • @memoir02
      @memoir02 5 років тому +9

      @@Alphacentauri819 Thank you for sharing! I needed to hear this

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 5 років тому +3

      AngieR Crawley you’re welcome!

    • @NewYorkNadia
      @NewYorkNadia 5 років тому +23

      @@memoir02 Work on yourself, your own ambitions and goals. This will put you in contact with like-minded men. Develop standards, fortify your boundaries, don't settle for "any" guy just because you don't want to be lonely. Surround yourself with people you respect and admire who respect and admire you. How? By focusing on your own interests and goals. People don't treat you the way you treat them, people treat you the way you treat yourself. Blessings.

  • @rezotydnic
    @rezotydnic 5 років тому +22

    My bf pulled away for a time, about 1 year in. But this was a long distance relationship at that time. He said he couldn't be the boyfriend I needed or deserved. Soo we talked, agreed to be 'friends'. I did 30 days no contact, and then sent a txt saying Hi. Thought about you today. Was out with my girlfriend and had lunch at our favorite restaurant. Remembered the great times we shared there. Hope life is treating you well. Have a great day 😊
    BOOM txt back right away and we've been going strong ever since. I made sure I told him 'you are enough'
    We have to appreciate a good relationship and a good partner.

  • @gailsutherland5764
    @gailsutherland5764 2 роки тому +28

    I once dated a guy I met at church. He was almost 22, I was 20. I was his first girlfriend and thrilled to be dating him. After 1 1/2 months of what I felt was a perfect relationship-he was attentive, considerate, patient, kind and I was that way back to him; he disappeared. He stopped calling me, stopped coming to see me, I never saw him at church-he just "poof, was gone." (That is what people now call 'being ghosted".) I waited for 2 weeks for him to re-appear but he did not. I wrote him a letter asking him why. He found me at church one day and asked if he could give me a ride home. He apologized for disappearing like he did and told me what was wrong. He said he was starting to have sexual feelings for me and felt wrong about having those feelings and avoiding me was his way to stop feeling sexually attracted to me and guilty about those feelings. I never saw him again after that ride home from church. I thought about our relationship, his feelings for me, and the guilt. It occurred to me that he had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old boy-never ever having a girlfriend before or dating, or anything of a romantic nature. What did I do? I cried, talked to my friends about it, but I did not eat ice cream! After about a week and a half, one morning I woke up and all my feelings for him were gone, just like that.

    • @maiaradias501
      @maiaradias501 3 місяці тому

      Just reading your comment cause it just what happened to me 🥹 the guilty feeling is awful. I hope to feel better in the next week :/

  • @enadine6405
    @enadine6405 5 років тому +219

    I think my old guy had all of these qualities. Really never was so heartbroken by a man before. It really changed me as a person, i've moved forward, but there is still a hole in my heart that never quite mended. I am sorry to any woman that has felt that pain. It gets better with time

    • @QuyLe-xk7pw
      @QuyLe-xk7pw 5 років тому +3

      E Nadine me too. At the end, he told me that I have push him when he was not ready. But he did it to me first.

    • @Rachel_PureBold
      @Rachel_PureBold 4 роки тому +2

      I have had a similar experience. Thanks for sharing xxx

    • @tawjihatarout
      @tawjihatarout 4 роки тому +5

      I am feeling it right now I'm so tired

    • @angelicearth78
      @angelicearth78 3 роки тому +1

      I am 40 and sometimes I still miss the connection and love I had with a boyfriend I had from 19-21... How do you ever get over this... Only if you find someone better which as it turns out I haven't...

    • @InspireFreedomForever
      @InspireFreedomForever 3 роки тому

      @@angelicearth78 😩😩😩

  • @deliapasqualini970
    @deliapasqualini970 5 років тому +17

    "remember this: it is NOT your job to try to change these guys, to convince these guys or even to coach these guys to become better men than they currently are.." AMAZING, DEEP, WISE WORDS.

  • @cezza57
    @cezza57 4 роки тому +43

    As a man I learn more about love and relationships watching these videos. I find that I learn more about myself seeing from a women's perspective.

    • @angelicearth78
      @angelicearth78 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah I guess reading the comments can be very informative too. By the way nice name care Bear 🐻

  • @nazatsakellaropoulou7110
    @nazatsakellaropoulou7110 5 років тому +233

    Thank you for putting an old couples in your videos, because old people can be in love too 🥰 wish you the best, love from Greece 🇬🇷

    • @rezotydnic
      @rezotydnic 5 років тому +14

      People of all ages want love.

    • @nazatsakellaropoulou7110
      @nazatsakellaropoulou7110 5 років тому +4

      @@rezotydnic yes indeed!!!

    • @candysmith8724
      @candysmith8724 5 років тому +12

      I had to wait till I was 45 to find a good man.

    • @vulpesregis
      @vulpesregis 4 роки тому +1

      @@candysmith8724 You mean you had to get to 45 to be mature enough and able to see a good man.

    • @mikalovely2758
      @mikalovely2758 4 роки тому

      Hoping in may age 45 right now I wish I can find trully loved me

  • @eeland6972
    @eeland6972 5 років тому +29

    It’s very healing to listen AND look at your videos...especially the ending.
    The last 3 months I’m walking as soon as a date start sending mixed signals. When they think I’m gonna chase them I’m walking away. Before I would make so many excuses for bad behavior I don’t any more. I treat a man with super integrity and respect from get go if he doesn’t show the same - I rather be single. I had a psychopath (sexaddict,, a liar, a manipulator) in my life for four years you - I had a lot of professional help to move on and now after two years I’m finally dating again. With my boundaries completely polished and watching these videos help to see that there is men out there that’s intelligent, whole hearted, respectful and loving. Thank you

  • @patriciaa2976
    @patriciaa2976 5 років тому +45

    My ex is definitely a text book love avoidant. Once I started asking for more he shut down. Now that I know what to look for I hope to attract healthier relationships.

    • @cn1976
      @cn1976 5 років тому +3

      Mine did this and I didn't ask for a thing! He knew I had no desire for more kids. I had no desire to get married again (at least not for the next 5-6 years.) I am very low pressure. I don't demand anything. Even my ex BF said I was the best GF he ever had (we are still friends) and very easy to date! This guy just freaked the F out!

    • @misslanapford9169
      @misslanapford9169 5 років тому +4

      And I can imagine u will... hes right .. everything Mat says.

  • @Anna_311_
    @Anna_311_ 5 років тому +60

    So sweet! I also liked the part "Don't lower your standards..."

  • @TheSienna29
    @TheSienna29 5 років тому +326

    If he pulls away, it's time to start dating other men, if you aren't already!

  • @anonymouslyartistic4854
    @anonymouslyartistic4854 5 років тому +54

    I met this guy that seemed amazing. Treated me great, showed all signs he wanted a relationship. He even asked for exclusivity. Then he says he isn't sure, doesn't know if he is able to form real romantic attachments. I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. He asked to hang out and figure things out. This video made me laugh because his name is James.

    • @katerinagavra1678
      @katerinagavra1678 4 роки тому +1

      why do you think that happened??? i ask coz i experienced that

    • @carmenblack9951
      @carmenblack9951 4 роки тому +4

      See that I dont understand about guys but I try to read between the lines because there is always other reasons...maybe his friends tell him something to scare him off or maybe another girl was in his life and he was waiting for her and used you for the time being. Hey I could be wrong but who knows. I always think and look at every alternative he might have

  • @loveandhappiness1111
    @loveandhappiness1111 5 років тому +534

    Damn...and men think women are psycho... Men are no different.

  • @breeburgher7053
    @breeburgher7053 4 роки тому +19

    Great video. This describes sooooo many guys I’ve been with lol. I tend to pull away after the guy starts to pull away or when he stops treating me the way I deserve. I of course try to talk about it but it never seems solve anything. After watching this video it all makes so much sense now.

  • @nancybuchanan9552
    @nancybuchanan9552 5 років тому +1

    I sent a text that the content was stupid, it was the opposite outcome I wanted. First time he was ok about it. 2nd time no. However I faced my fear as a result and have peace. I'm giving him his space. It was nice with him.

  • @nataliyap.7341
    @nataliyap.7341 3 роки тому +7

    Lol. The guy whom i believed was my true counterpart, my twin flame, ghosted me a few years ago after making me believe that he felt the same way about me. I have got heavily into psychology, self- growth and spirituality since then and i have learned and was able to understand a lot. So everything that Mat said in this video has actually confirmed my own thoughts on the matter. His name was James as well. That's some funny coincidence or is it?! ;)
    Anyways i just love Mathew Boggs's videos and works. I find him simply amazing, - so intelligent, wise, perceptive, funny, knowledgeable. And you can tell that he's got a great personality too. I find myself binge watching his videos these days and i fell very grateful and privileged to have come across his works on the internet.
    I feel particularly joyous when i see him together in his videos with his just as amazing and gorgeous wife Irene. It just brings me this true joy to my heart to see that amazing couple. It also restores my faith that there are still men like that out there and that you can find an amazing partner, as long as you keep working on yourself to become that very amazing, confident and aware of your own worth partner, remain patient and scrupulous in your dealings with others, work on eliminating your limited beliefs and have confidence in the Intelligence of the Universe.
    Thank you for all the great and BRILLIANT work that you do and share with others, Mat!!! :)

  • @thewanderbabe
    @thewanderbabe 2 роки тому +5

    He nailed all the feelings I experienced in the first 30 seconds. Dated a guy for 4 months, he cried stating he didn’t know what was wrong with him and why he didn’t think he could give me a relationship. Had a reputation, but cried because I checked off everything. And he completely LEANED IN, actions were clear. And then a switch flipped. Said I didn’t change at all, no other person, etc. so what then?

  • @sarafeckete73
    @sarafeckete73 5 років тому +1

    I recently went through a break up after dating this guy for 15 months. He was very good to me, called me every night, always made plans with me then bam done. I've not spoken to him since the break up going on 55 days of no contact, but recently found out he is back to online dating, which is how we met. After I found out it just solidified the reason why we're not together and that I deserve someone better. Matt, your videos are inspiring. They have truly helped me move forward & want to be a better person in my next relationship. Thank you & the clip of you dancing with your daughters at the end of this video melted my ❤. I pray that God will bless me with a man of your character!

  • @jacquinewman8125
    @jacquinewman8125 4 роки тому +9

    This is one of the best clips I have seen on the topic, it covers everything I am going through on an emotional and psychological basis. And there is simply nothing I can do about it. It's out of my control. Very frustrating because we click on every single level. However the only thing I can do for myself is walk away. Thank you.

  • @beckyharper6263
    @beckyharper6263 3 роки тому +7

    He finally advised me he felt vulnerable and even anxious about due to a medical condition- a huge colon surgery left him with 25% of a colon. So, he said any partner would have to understand that he would have to use the restroom 15- 20 times a night. I advised him I could understand him and my sister had ulcerative colitis and I could understand and I used to work in a hospital.

    • @PushPastParalysis
      @PushPastParalysis Рік тому

      Exactly. It’s not an end to anything if a man has an insecurity about something. It can be worked through.

  • @sydneyallen3519
    @sydneyallen3519 5 років тому +60

    Yeah i just noticed a shift in him this weekend and im hurt by it. Hes the second guy in the last couple of months to do this with me. Its so hard to not to take it personally....

    • @jillyh8937
      @jillyh8937 5 років тому +2

      Sydney Allen same here!

    • @thenatural.hygienist193
      @thenatural.hygienist193 4 роки тому +1

      Same here. 😔

    • @jacquelingonza9685
      @jacquelingonza9685 3 роки тому +2

      Happened twice to me too. I explained the last one to please be honest but pulled away after sex. No word in two weeks.

    • @blesschild2159
      @blesschild2159 3 роки тому +3

      Being ghosted a few times well myself. But it's true please don't take it personally. Hardly your fault. If u have a fault, the decent guy will talk 2 u about it if he's interested. Those who ghost you just ghost them back, simple. They're not worth ur time.

    • @jenj1221
      @jenj1221 3 роки тому +1

      Men hate feeling like they were crap💩 to you. I’d always do this right before I’d ghost 👻 them. I’d tell them what a jerk they are, which always catches them off guard, and drop them like the trash 🗑 they are. But that’s just me I hate to live with “last words” in my head. It’s probably worse because they always came back a few months later wanting to apologize.🤔🙄🤮 You don’t have to say anything. it’s probably more mature to just block them and move on. Nothing you do will change the outcome. Cut him loose he’s about to “pull.”

  • @galexynotprovided9945
    @galexynotprovided9945 5 років тому +4

    This opened up my eyes to: My mom 'pulled away' when I was born. My dad, literally, pulled away when I tugged on his neck to kiss him good night, while he tucked me in when I was about 2 or 3 years old. He had a back injury from when he was in the Navy. I then made up a story that everyone 'pulls away' from me, eventually. I must have 'pulled away' from myself, while looking for someone to 'Love me'. "I AM" (God consciousness) now filling myself with a Loving Bond and Connection, where the hole once was. Thanks Mat.

  • @logikgirl12
    @logikgirl12 5 років тому +4

    I really like that you made this distinction: the guy can WANT to be liked BY YOU. but he really doesn't like YOU. It's insane for us warm and naturally loving creatures (women) but that's nothing but the truth.

  • @zoyainam9871
    @zoyainam9871 5 років тому +94

    When you give too much attention without they being equally invested in you

  • @AkaHeart1
    @AkaHeart1 5 років тому +41

    I truly appreciate your wisdom creating this video!! You definitely put things in perspective!!
    LOVING YOURSELF FIRST is key to any relationship!! Wish more people would comprehend this!!
    Thank you and look forward for your next video!!

  • @brittanybishop1524
    @brittanybishop1524 5 років тому +10

    Thanks Mat!! Another reason I see men pulling away is because of intimidation, which doesn't make sense. But it's the reality.

  • @tinkerbell4161
    @tinkerbell4161 5 років тому +32

    Hi! Thank you! This is an affirming video about how to continue to move forward and create love inspite of some relationship outcomes. I used to lower my standards or think I could change a man by showing more love. Now I understand and this affirms that it is better in these times to let go, keep my vision and move forward while continuing to learn how to love myself and be a better partner.💕

  • @xw6475
    @xw6475 4 роки тому +2

    Awww!! I love the ending while you are happily holding your children. Stay blessed Matt 🙏

  • @adrianaaagaardsommer3466
    @adrianaaagaardsommer3466 5 років тому +16

    Thank you Matt. Your videos are just amazing! That western clip was hilarious.
    I have found that men (and women) pull away from their partner when they feel they are being emotionally consumed. If I am not able to love myself enough and find peace inside of me and I turn to my man for too much approval he will turn away. And that is double painful. We need to get to a point where we can find happiness within ourselves so that we can set the other one free anytime. That is my goal and I am getting there! ❤️

    • @nitahudson5109
      @nitahudson5109 2 роки тому +1

      I agree with your comments SO much!
      I realized lately, my behavior to my boyfriend was needy & I had low self value. I was OVERcomminicating to the point this man, someone who adores, me stepped back. Actually ignored me during a business working weekend. And I see why (my over texting) and I feel stupid.
      I was shocked and hurt. Then I looked at my behavior from his perspective - I was overly consuming to a point of him not wanting to engage. Any engagement would have led to a 10 text string. And I KNOW BETTER, but I was feeling really insecure and my self esteem was way low.
      I thought to a time last year when I had a pseudo new friend who called me a lot (not any kind of boyfriend or relationship material from my side - more dad-like to me) and his advice through a divorce was helpful.
      It was helpful UNTIL it became ALL CONSUMING to me. And my life. It was daily. Nightly. Several times a day. He would send me books or my child things via Amazon. It was invasive and draining (and got a little creepy).
      But I went from enjoying his advice, and friendship, to feeling like "how do I get rid of him?!?!" I dreaded seeing a text or his name come up because I KNEW it was a 2-3 hour (it was impossible to get him off the phone!) marathon call.
      And it ate up SO much time in my night, I ended up spending less time being a good mother (I was fighting a terrible divorce which he was giving me advice on) and I was not getting anything done at night. Like, I wasn't doing my skincare, I wasn't doing my chores, I was going to bed later.
      I finally had to jettison this person from my life.
      I CANNOT let myself be a nuisance to a man who loves me. And I was.
      I have now been prioritizing my own: health, physical fitness, hobbies, job search, and things are better.

  • @ranirangimoekau7857
    @ranirangimoekau7857 5 років тому +4

    Thank you - I have been in a 22 year relationship and we are now moving on as amazing friends because we both want different things moving forward .... this soooo helped me as I want the most amazing man in my life and I want to be the most amazing women for him nothing less - bring on the next journey xxx

  • @wateroffaduck2353
    @wateroffaduck2353 5 років тому +54

    Mat we need more "Guys Like You" in the world. Your daughters are just adorable! Thank u for this channel & all the valuable insight & advice!!!

    • @shwetasingh971
      @shwetasingh971 3 роки тому

      Actually … happy to see we do have such men on earth

  • @Volkslady
    @Volkslady 2 роки тому +2

    My late husband was wonderful, but had attachment issues that manifested about three years into our marriage. It made things tough at times, but we stuck it out, and in the end I'm so glad we did! I know it was hard for him to trust when everything inside was telling him to run away, so I'm proud of him for standing strong. Our Christian faith and our true respect for each other got us through! (Btw, on a lighter note, my younger son's name is James, and yes, he's a loner, too! That's amazing how many Jameses are indeed loners, even the fictional ones!)

  • @chrystalstewart5519
    @chrystalstewart5519 5 років тому +3

    Omg number 3 he associated his moms and dad relationship with negative. Once things where well he pulled back he seen marriage as a negative thing!!! Wow thank you.

  • @kimmiller2297
    @kimmiller2297 5 років тому +5

    Great video! I think an important thing to remember is that a guy pulling away can also means he has stuff to work on or go through. It isn't your job to save or change him. I think the not knowing why is the hardest part but knowing your worth is your best way to move forward. not easy, but sometimes necessary...

  • @agile_pearl
    @agile_pearl 5 років тому

    The last part of this video is my best part; you singing and dancing with your girls...so beautiful.

  • @cn1976
    @cn1976 5 років тому +2

    Yep #2 Avoidant Attachment Style is what I think just happened to me! "I am falling for you." "Wow, you are so amazing." "You just keep checking all of those boxes." "You are so sweet to me." Then, BAM! He broke it off and disappeared!

  • @splitraven7060
    @splitraven7060 3 роки тому +2

    A guy, I’ll call Birmingham, and I were really hot via long distance. I shared with him that I wanted to meet him. He seemed somewhat interested, but this never transpired. He always maintained distance is an issue plus expressing frustration at times.
    Our conversations usually were around the clock all day and night intense. There is a point where I began wanting a break as I know he does too. Well this week we hit that breaking point.
    My feelings are we’ll always maintain and have that deep connection and inner conversations that we only understand and will continue to check over time. I told him how much I cherish him and our conversations and always wanted to be friends.
    I’ve shed quite a few tears 😭 over this. He has texted me. I feel so happy when he does. I’m the one who’s pulled away more than him. We need space.

  • @amyc1022
    @amyc1022 5 років тому +15

    Matt, I love this video. It helped me a lot when I was dating someone. He admitted to having a fear of abandonment and a fear of inadequacy. I have a question though. Where does control play a part in this? What fear does that fall under? He thinks women are trying to control him when actually, for example, all I ever wanted was his attention. Thanks in advance!

  • @flasun6839
    @flasun6839 Рік тому +1

    This (another) good reason to put off sleeping with a man until you know who you are with. Somone looking for a short term or less serious relationship are looking for something "easier" in some cases, and you can avoid feeling so vulnerable when they ghost you or don't continue to seek you.

  • @veeee1584
    @veeee1584 5 років тому +3

    I’m a female, and all 5 of these explanations have made me realize that I do this to men

  • @judylaky6213
    @judylaky6213 5 років тому +5

    Great video. I don't know if a woman ever really knows why a man pulls away, but I truly hope that women don't blame themselves. I think it is more about the man, and we perhaps give him much more credit/power than he deserves. He really wasn't all that great! I love the ending of the video - sooo cute. You are so real and sincere! Beautiful family.

  • @GirlGolden4
    @GirlGolden4 5 років тому +39

    ...and guys think WE’RE so complex...🙄 I love what he said about repelling the wrong guy so the right guy can find an opening to find me/you/us! :)

    • @0fficialdregs
      @0fficialdregs 4 роки тому +1

      lol you are

    • @GirlGolden4
      @GirlGolden4 4 роки тому +3

      Dregs I guess both men and women can be. :) I just don’t like when guys say they’re “simple,” because often, you guys are not as simple as you think, which is fine; just don’t tell us we’re “overreacting” if you guys act differently than you say you will plz. Lol

    • @0fficialdregs
      @0fficialdregs 4 роки тому +1

      @@GirlGolden4 well i tell a woman i'm very simple and my loved ones can confirm that. If i'm quiet all day and NO ONE text me, then ima continue on with my day. however, if a woman i'm with text me first (VERY rare) then ima let her know i need a day or two just to relax and be me. i'm not cheating, i'm not losing interest or love (it takes cheating and being taken for granted to lose my love)) or anything like that i just need some relax time.
      Speaking a prep cook dealing with tons of shouting everyday, i definitely need several hours to relax from a long ass day at work.

    • @0fficialdregs
      @0fficialdregs 4 роки тому

      @@GirlGolden4 and also, there's time when i don't talk because i want the woman to text me because 99% of my past relationships, i'm the only always starting the conversations and i hate that deeply.

    • @GirlGolden4
      @GirlGolden4 4 роки тому +2

      Dregs About the food service industry and reaching out to the opposite gender, I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with those issues, and I’ve been there, too! I get what you mean, and I need to decompress sometimes, too. I just like a man who’s aware of his feelings and communicates with me; my bf is and does most of the time, and I’m the same that way; we are very affectionate with each other but know when to give each other space. It’s awesome that you are in touch with your needs and communicate. :)

  • @giellatinous
    @giellatinous 5 років тому +8

    I can't thank you enough for this Matt! I've been really frustrated with the whole dating scene and was on the verge of giving up when I saw your video on my recommended. It's videos like these that make me realize that there are still decent guys out there, and that I just gotta keep pushing through

  • @KirstenOrndorff
    @KirstenOrndorff 5 років тому +22

    My heart EXPLODED at that ending and I don't even want kids. So stinkin' cute.

  • @rascalragdoll182
    @rascalragdoll182 5 років тому +3

    I find it to be perfect timing that you posted this. My boyfriend, whom I’ve dated before and have known for 10 years, just told me he is out of his antidepressants and has been acting “off”. He has no intention of getting back on them, due to not having insurance, hates the doctor, and fell for the whole “I don’t think I need them anymore” delusion; but finds himself irritated with any little thing. Last time this happened he left me, there was more to it, but him doing that started the issues.
    Now he has a habit of pushing away eventually in a relationship, we both don’t know why. I know he does this like a cycle, but I feel like I grew up a lot since we dated and fixed my problems enough to realize that I’m not the problem anymore. I’m not perfect by any means, but I can at least accept that if it doesn’t workout again that it’s not my fault.
    I’ve mentioned that if he does leave me without REALLY trying to do everything he can to make it last, that I have to have him out of my life. We are long distance currently and kinda hoping to move late summer/early fall. He is my first true love and love of my life, who has been there for me many times as a friend; but I cant enable him anymore and need to know my worth. He’s my best friend, but I can’t fix him and just gotta accept that. So your videos remind me of that and even times help me understand him a little better.
    Anyone who is willing I could use some prayers. I want him to get back on his meds, be his happy self again, and stay with me; but if it goes bad I’ll need all the help I can get to move on. I’ve been in this so deep I kinda forgot what life was like without him and it scares me. Thank you. God bless! ♥️

  • @marie-joseeleblanc8883
    @marie-joseeleblanc8883 5 років тому +4

    I know he pulled away when he felt I was not giving in in his insecurities and trust issues. He definitely seems to be a mix of avoidant and probably also anxious attachment style He always said, and I had a funny moment when you mentioned it Matt, :”I am a rebel I’m a loner” and I kept on asking him to stop programming is brain with this belief system . Also saying that up to meeting me he was a bachelor (53 years old) as so far he hadn’t find the love of his life (me). I truly believe we were madly in a deep loving relationship but his past childhood trauma took over the center of attention and started creating challenging arguments that were unnecessary. Matt of your can talk more about the healing process it would be great 👍🏻

  • @ojala5555
    @ojala5555 4 роки тому +3

    OMG how cuuuute father with his cute daughters singing and chilling there! It is moving ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Lablabu28
    @Lablabu28 5 років тому +64

    Oh Matt your girls are gorgeous.I bet you are a phenomenal Dad.

    • @claudiaborzea1386
      @claudiaborzea1386 5 років тому

      Yesss i agree. Specially the older girl in the left. So beautiful. She could grow up to be a fine young lady with high standards and intelligence level that could actually do something with her life. And i am not talking about beauty contests, IQ for that is below 0 if you want to win.

  • @dannyellefinch4450
    @dannyellefinch4450 5 років тому +4

    Pulling away helps me process how I feel about him and myself...individually

  • @chrystalstewart5519
    @chrystalstewart5519 5 років тому +2

    Thank you soo much you opened my eyes. Most of the guys in my life have had bad understandings of what marriage is. Most of them the ben afraid because they were not ready. I settled for men who are not ready expecting and trying to change them to be and now I know what I need to change. Who I needed to steer away from. I don't know why it took me this damn long but I get it.

  • @cheryl9030
    @cheryl9030 3 роки тому

    They cannot shed a rejection from someone they poured their heart and mind into. I am a terrific amazing person, he has told me, but he know he has to work on himself to get passed it... yet says he probably won’t and nothing makes him happy no matter how good you are. I’m a friend and aware of his mindset to know we will not be a tight couple. I’m good.

  • @monp.4903
    @monp.4903 5 років тому +2

    Thank you. This helps me try to understand a man that I had to leave who hurt me too much. Forgive myself for wasting time on that man and move on.

  • @JenniferAyoub
    @JenniferAyoub 5 років тому +6

    I loved your video at the end with your girls- so precious and adorable, thank you for sharing it~ I have never seen a dad with his two girls be so open and carefree, it was great to watch! Thank you for sharing your understanding for this topic-- it illustrates a good perspective on men during dating.

  • @kamaakestad
    @kamaakestad 3 роки тому +5

    Omg the self image makes so much sense for a current situation I was in. Also super helpful for achieving the goals I an pursuing! Thank you so much!

  • @CherylYung-f4c
    @CherylYung-f4c Рік тому +1

    My colleague brought me to his parent's home for Christmas and stayed over for 4 days. He is not a Christian, but since he knew I am a Christian, he kept me company to the church for Christmas service in an early morning. He said I am a nice girl. When I thanked him for being my companion to the church, he said he is more than willing to keep me company.
    He shared about his broken family history during his childhood with me and encouraged me that my failed marriage because of an abusive husband is a life lesson rather than a failure.
    We worked in the same workplace, quite often we will meet, but I just feel that is started to ignore me or avoiding eye contact with me.
    All I think he pulls away is because I am a married woman who still hasn't filed a divorce yet. Or he just doesn't want a woman who has married before to be his partner

  • @misharsa
    @misharsa 2 роки тому

    Not Telling the truth about yourself from the beginning; having sex way too quick and after expecting commitment from him; accusing him of things that he didn't do but are based on your own fears... such a long list.
    Great insight 👍thank you!

  • @eliagudes2613
    @eliagudes2613 4 роки тому +2

    I needed to hear this. My situation is that he comes from divorced parents, hasn’t accomplished all the things he wants in life, and has baby mama issues (e.g., court). I see how amazing he is, but he doesn’t see it, which makes him have moods swings and feel depressed. I need consistency and someone that is strong enough to move on and problem solve. How can one live with a person who sleeps next to you and doesn’t even want to touch you? It’s sad. It’s strange. I’m out.

  • @jayejaye011
    @jayejaye011 5 років тому +5

    Hi Matt. I just watched this today and it totally resonated with me. The guy I’m currently talking to did exactly this. But I haven’t lowered my standards. Thanks for this video. I look forward to more videos 🙏🏾😊

  • @alesacrawford941
    @alesacrawford941 4 роки тому +1

    These are somethings that I have done. I havent been in the right place with myself, when I have done these things. Thank you!! For making me look into myself.

  • @amberscottcmt7400
    @amberscottcmt7400 4 роки тому

    I could use your voice in my head... I often walk away really sad and let down because I get very few men who pursue me and it takes me years to find a new relationship, because I get the guy who pulls away almost every time. So when a new situation sours I DO feel discouraged. I have no idea how long before the next opportunity may come. My rhythm was 18mo relationship, single 7yrs, 2.5yr relationship, single 6yrs, 4.5 yr relationship, single 3.5 and counting... I almost created a new one in record time, and now he's pulling away.
    So yeah, I need a voice telling me not to get discouraged. I'm 42 and attractive, but for some reason rather unwanted.

  • @homeschoolhugs
    @homeschoolhugs 5 років тому +7

    One of the most painful experiences ive gone through. I mean this guy made me feel like i was.. (and i quote).... "everything he was missing" . He admired me and I felt truly adored. The most amazing guy ive dated and then one day, after amazing conversation, he went ghost for like 5 hours and hit me a text about how needs to focus on self love and appreciation. This was a few days before we was supposed to spend time on his bday, I bought him gifts just for that day just to show how much i appreciated him investing in me. And He stated the more he invested into me , the less he felt like himself. I was like wth? Like he was leading the relationship strong, talking about future plans, so genuine and such a nice guy, about to introduce me to friends, and then within a matter of hours, he completley switched. He claims there was no other woman, that he just needed to focus on himself. I couldnt even text him back . My heart was broken and im still healing from this. (It was only a week ago). I still cant wrap my head around how God let this great guy cross my path and then all of a sudden he's gone. Apart of me still feels awful for hoping he would call me and start over. 😞

    • @MM-of5po
      @MM-of5po 5 років тому +2

      Same exact thing happened to me.... almost exactly. And it’s been one week. I am mind blown !!!

    • @prettynatural1973
      @prettynatural1973 5 років тому +1

      Ashley Copeland babe it’s not God. Use the spirit of discernment and stop buying a man that is not your husband benefits. You are special no sex before a ring and I promise you will never ever feel bad again. I was dating a guy that said he loved me I turned him down for sex now his shift changed to midnight he is going out of town oh and did not come home last night. Do I feel bad a little but imagine if I believed him and gave him my soul nope 👎

    • @edithsalas8473
      @edithsalas8473 4 роки тому +3

      Ashley Alexandria i send you a big hug, hope this pain Heals as soon as NOW :( i dont know whats happening to this world, to the people, taking to garbage all the good feelings and Love, i mean if he found that amazing conection with you, why pulls away??? Dont writte him back, dont answer, NO reaction, he doesnt deserve anything! He will be back that MF💔

    • @starcatcher3691
      @starcatcher3691 2 роки тому +1

      Give him time. Lean back! Be gracious and be at peace. He will be back most likely

    • @christinejones9397
      @christinejones9397 2 роки тому +1

      We sharing same and exact story ,I can't believe it ,I even pray that one day he will come back and continue with our future plans ,it hurts to see that we can't talk not even chat ,cause whenever I text him the text are not read update almost 3weeks ,hopes heaven will hear my cry cause it's killing me silently , sometimes I even feel like I wasn't meant to be happy with any man I'm giving up ,it's not easy

  • @lailapastor4233
    @lailapastor4233 4 роки тому +6

    Thank you Matt. I'm just at the very very early stages and he is already acting weird. For once I am thinking, it does not have to do with me. It has to do with him. This is the first time I understand this. Thank you.

  • @bebotbenitez4995
    @bebotbenitez4995 3 роки тому

    always love yourself first so let go those who really does not love you and keep the best

  • @Sterilite101
    @Sterilite101 Рік тому

    All I needed to hear is a confirmation for reason #1. Thank u. ❤

  • @jackiekemp9415
    @jackiekemp9415 5 років тому +2

    Can not hear well. Past few video's sound is very low. Thank you for your information. Love it. Learn a lot from you.

  • @rea00000
    @rea00000 5 років тому +7

    I pull away when a man make me feel afraid of him, make dramas, and he always feel negative about his live.

  • @kk70x7
    @kk70x7 4 роки тому +6

    THANK YOU for educating me about men. I now understand that it's a total and complete waste of time and energy to persue and maintain a relationship with one. #betterthings

  • @karlawinter9801
    @karlawinter9801 5 років тому

    I felt like he pulled away because of physical things about me was NOT PERFECT enough. However now that I just heard you speak, it can't be that. He was NOT into ME, which now is cool. This will help me to mature and tighten up what I want more. Thanks Peace

  • @anisatrela9839
    @anisatrela9839 4 роки тому +1

    Matt u are the most amazing person and the best teacher on line dating, thank u so much God bless you

  • @ThaMaterialGurl
    @ThaMaterialGurl 5 років тому +1

    Ohhhh that video of you and your girls!!!! I love it!! Your family is so blessed to have you! ❤️

  • @roseestrada1411
    @roseestrada1411 3 роки тому +1

    Greatest episode by far😁 I have recently been the one pulling away from a 6 year deadend relationship.It was hurtful at first ,but I'm glad when I encounter these inspiration episodes.I feel empowered that I made the right decision by leaving my boyfriend .Too many inadequacies and he made no change to correct or address them.Im looking forward to the next chapter in my life.I know there is A Great man out there for me🙏🙏💖💖💖

  • @phyllismontoroula6454
    @phyllismontoroula6454 4 роки тому +4

    I had a man pull away from me now I have new boyfriend now I'm so happy now

  • @angelicearth78
    @angelicearth78 3 роки тому

    Thank you for posting this last part with your daughters! It is really sweet and touching to see.

    • @reneekelley4279
      @reneekelley4279 3 роки тому

      I have always suspected my wife was cheating on me. We have been married for 12 years now and its been a smooth ride until last year when she changed and started seeing other men. A friend of mine linked me up with a great hacker ultimate Hack who helped me hack into her phone, I had complete access to her phone right on my device and I could monitor all her activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, her location, call logs, text messages and all. I was left with no other choice.I loved my wife so much and I just dont know why she chose to betray me, I have been a good husband and never for once cheated on her. I tracked her down to a hotel where I found her with another man . You can contact them at ultimatehack003 at gmail or Whatsapp +17202954268 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into her phone without even touching her phone.I have enough evidence against my wife now and I am thinking of Filing for divorce. I want advice from men and other women on here, should I give her another chance because of our kids or file for divorce ? We have a 9 months old baby

  • @tinyking11
    @tinyking11 Рік тому

    Amazing video. Thanks. It makes so much sense now. 🔥💯

  • @tanja-janinagroe1248
    @tanja-janinagroe1248 5 років тому +2

    Awwww ❤️❤️❤️❤️thank you Mat for this beautiful reminder... it brought huge light and understanding same as certainty about staying in resonance to attract a man who is willing, ready and able to commit.. a true soulmate ❤️

  • @AlanaAgapi
    @AlanaAgapi 2 роки тому

    Such a great video! Thanks Mat! ♡

  • @saras.2173
    @saras.2173 Рік тому

    I love the last few seconds of this video! Gives me hope. ❤

  • @joyfullove1430
    @joyfullove1430 5 років тому +4

    Thank you! Funny how things like this present themselves to you when you least expect it! I was in a relationship that was going well, Love was spoken, moving in together, families spending time together (we both had adult kids)... and then as soon as I bought into all of it and committed - BOOM... (and via text) it (the relationship) wasn’t working out, I should have felt it too - I was stunned and hurt and confused and “What, are you kidding me?” Ack... looking back I gave that waaaayyy too much power and it has made me very hesitant to put myself out there - until now - damn near 10 years later. I’ve only recently been opening up to what I want - that relationship you speak of all the time and seeing / knowing I AM worthy and worth it and have so much love to offer. So... still somewhat hyperventilating a little, I am open to all the possibilities and potential and still believe there are good men out there!
    Thanks again! 😉

  • @KrystalMoniique
    @KrystalMoniique Рік тому

    Aww.. love the ending message of hope:) amen. God bless you and your beautiful family!

  • @arpitashayarana
    @arpitashayarana 5 років тому +11

    Your kids are blessed to have a dad like you...Thank you for sharing the beautiful message.💕❤🌹💐

  • @nursiemarcieable
    @nursiemarcieable 5 років тому

    THIS was so good! Mat, I was with my last boyfriend for a year and a half. We lived together for a year. I really thought we'd be together forever. Then he started flipping out over our different faiths, started nitpicking, then BOOM! He's moved back to where he came from "trying to figure himself out." He keeps blowing hot then cold. Today is his 62nd birthday, but I've stopped contacting him period for at least the next 30 days. I can't take the merry-go-round another day. #overit

  • @HandleHandleHandle195
    @HandleHandleHandle195 5 років тому +1

    This is excellent!! Thank you!

  • @clairelivefreeordie2551
    @clairelivefreeordie2551 2 роки тому

    Loved this video especially the end. How lucky these children are!

  • @alainaschwartz6731
    @alainaschwartz6731 5 років тому +6

    Thank you for all the good work you do! My most recent partner divorced his wife 18 years ago and has said that I am the only woman he's been with other than his ex-wife that he could imagine spending his life with. He's also been a serial entrepreneur. We dated for 9 months. He's in the process of recreating himself a new and has said that our relationship is too new, and that he wasn't really looking for a relationship when we found each other and needs to focus on building his next mission. Curious how many times men disappear to focus on their mission? Thanks

  • @patriciaviii
    @patriciaviii 5 років тому +38

    I’ve noticed guys pull away when they plan a date in advance and then pull away....other times they would pull away when I don’t give them sex, they’re also the ones who disappears and reappears.. so annoying....

    • @juliusmartinez2282
      @juliusmartinez2282 4 роки тому +1

      Yes they plan a date and act weird to see if you chase them. Dont

    • @jacquelingonza9685
      @jacquelingonza9685 3 роки тому

      It's happened to me too the last guy one month into dating a very bumpy road He drove me crazy until we had sex and now disappeared for good no word a very respectful man playing a very nasty game and left me hurting.

    • @patriciaviii
      @patriciaviii 3 роки тому +3

      @@jacquelingonza9685 I’ve learned so much about their nasty games. I treat them like trash and they keep coming back, respectfully no sex at all.

    • @jenj1221
      @jenj1221 3 роки тому +1

      @@patriciaviii lol yup, I wasn’t giving up my cookies so quickly. You are right on that. I’d pray 🙏 to GOD please please please just bring me a man with a kind soul that has some kind of ambition to hold his own. I got rewarded with that and more. Even though he had an amazing soul I still had him wait 5 months before we had sex. The right guy will wait and will appreciate you. 💕 not having sex helps you filter out the gross men.

  • @hamalibaby4525
    @hamalibaby4525 5 років тому +1

    This video really made my night, this is what I go thru and it makes me sad almost all the time...I feel its all my fault or ain't good enough... Thanks

  • @napa7523
    @napa7523 5 років тому

    Happened to me recently. Went on a date with a guy and I was pretty meh about him. But he kept txting me, not too much, just to remind me he was there. With time we were txting more and more to the point I realized I actually liked him. A lot. He was consistent, we shared the same sense of humour, he was making plans in advance, the energy was right etc. Every dating coach would say it was going in the right direction. Then he went traveling on the other side of the world. In the mean time lost his phone. But as soon as he came back, got a new phone and txted me again I could feel in a second things weren't the same anymore. He was slowly, but surely pulling away. I asked him about it and he told me he was doing that, because he was becoming more and more "addicted" to me, but as he has decided he's going to move to that place where he traveled to asap he didn't want to attach. So I let him go :(

  • @jessiedelores4992
    @jessiedelores4992 5 років тому +3

    Thank you once again Matt ! You Hit the Nail on the head ! Everything you said in this video really rang true to me!

  • @sheyda22
    @sheyda22 5 років тому +1

    Dear Mat~ how I needed to hear this. To learn this.
    You are an amazing human.
    God bless You and Your precious Family and my the new decade shine back with even more loving light.

  • @carpediem.9
    @carpediem.9 5 років тому +3

    Thank you for all your great vids Mat. this one had the sweetest ending ❤

  • @sarahismail6850
    @sarahismail6850 5 років тому +3

    That helped a lot.. thanks.

  • @emilysargeant7557
    @emilysargeant7557 3 роки тому

    this video is so helpful, thank you!

  • @ZiggyLu-og3zp
    @ZiggyLu-og3zp 2 роки тому

    This was really informative. Thank you!

  • @lisalola1165
    @lisalola1165 5 років тому

    U rite..he already told me.."u touch my heart but u not in my heart"..im speachless..he just want to be my frz

  • @assiddiqui6393
    @assiddiqui6393 5 років тому +2

    Good job man really appreciate your videos 👏👏i like it👍😍

  • @maggieeitan7367
    @maggieeitan7367 5 років тому +2

    Much love ❤️
    This is soooooo true! Sending positive blessings