"Things Were Going Well... Then He Ended it Suddenly"
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
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2 rules. 1) Actions over time: the only thing that matters at the beginning of a romantic relationship. 2) Don't sleep with a guy before commitment. Hard rules to apply but it saves you from so many disappointments.
Totally agree with your comment. I would like to add though, if a guy genuinely is a good guy he will stick around even if you sleep with him at the beginning of a romantic relationship. There are plenty of stories out there from women where they waited and the guy was still an ass and left after sleeping with them months down the line.
I agree with you and not about sleeping with a guy... Because:
-He can lie about what he wants and ghosting you after sleeping with you. And you are involved already a lot emotionally...
-He is just bad in bed, and you just fing it out so late, that you emotionally invested a lot, just can't let go easy.
How do you define commitment?
Here's the thing, if you _don't_ sleep with a guy and he knows you're easy, he'll drop you. No guy wants to pay more than the guys before him simply because a woman suddenly 'knows her worth' and wants to settle down. The not sleeping with him is only relevant if she has a low to zero body count.
@@csx6910 i don’t agree with this comment, because it goes for men as well then ? A man with a high body count who wants to suddenly settle should be taken less seriously by women ? My ex boyfriend and my healthiest relationship was with a man with a high body count, when he met me, he changed completely. And at first it was a turn off for me. But then he was able to show me how serious he was. The thing is, being honest and authentic about our intentions. Not to get something from the other person, but because it’s truly what we want.
The important thing is continuity of the person, not intensity. Stop thinking that the one who triggers the most intense feelings of all is the right one. I felt that ❤
The last time I tried with someone, I had some epiphanies about relationships. The main one was no matter how great someone might be for us, go the distance, commit and show up, they can go to work one morning and never come home. An accident, a heart attack, an act of violence--we can lose our person at literally any moment. And if someone chooses to back out, we need to love ourselves enough to know our life will go on. It's important to grieve, and definitely vital to be honest with your investments. Don't pretend intimacy is casual for you if it isn't!
I've decided to spend some time not trying to meet anyone, to just see who I am and what I like without hoping for a partner. I happen to be a creative person, and it's true that finding your purpose is just as important as finding your partner (maybe even more?). But it's sobering to realize that you can get exactly what you want and still lose it. So you always need to look within for validation. And if you recognize and cultivate your own value, it's much easier to invest in another person without it 'needing' to work.
Go and see Twister movie. Fills a lot of what are you talking about. Plus Assuming and surprises for both of them.
Quite deep
Well said! 😌
@@SagittariusBabe87😊
Five words: time is the best test. You could write this on my tombstone! I learned the hard way.
"So much of dating is energy management"- I love that
And to her question, how do you manage your energy? With discipline
@tasrajwani I'm learning!
That’s so true- how invested are so many “friends”. A real friend is there through thick and thin, the good, bad and ugly! A friend is someone who cares / really cares about you and others - someone who is capable of being empathetic and someone who has your best interests at heart and doesn’t want you to suffer and enjoys your company - is the basis of a healthy friendship!
Memento mori!
If they are ghosting intentionally, they're a**hole. If they are ghosting because they are scared or realized they were lying and moving too fast, they're an idiot with very low emotional maturity. Either way, who wants someone like that?? Therefore, for my own sake, I've adopted a zero 2nd chance policy on this. As Matthew has said before...don't focus on how much YOU like THEM, focus on how THEY treat YOU. And this is the perfect time to live by this. If they are treating you like they don't care - then they truly don't care. Its really just that simple.
But some people take time to accept it 😢
I am struggling one thing is that before he ghosted me, he really treated me well. But he hasn´t replied my message for 21 days. We have no contacts. And I feel so painful.
@chansamnang9602 Yes, it does take time to get over when you really cared for someone. Remember, not everyone has your heart - nor does everyone take their own words and behavior seriously. It is sad, but eventually, you will see the positive side, which is at least they showed you who they truly were before you became further involved. I know at first you feel a loss, and maybe you even feel used - but if you stay strong and DON'T reach out to them, as time passes, you'll feel better and respect yourself more. Again, I know when you're hurting it doesn't feel like that, but you will eventually. I promise. ❤️
@yuyingdai6733 I know that confusing feeling too - I've been there, and it makes no sense whatsoever! But his silence is telling you something - it's telling you that he thought so little of you that he thinks he can disrespect you by not responding. That should turn your sadness into anger, and you can use that anger to keep you strong and do NOT reach out to him again. Just take it one day at a time.
This happened to me after dating someone for a year. I thought I was in love with him and he said he loved me too. We were very close, he treated me well, bought me gifts for holidays, we were planning a future...then POOF! He disappeared. Now granted, I knew some troubles he had going on in his life with his family...but...that is still no excuse for him ghosting me and not having the courage to break up with me formally with a conversation. Ghosting me showed me what a total lack of respect for me he had, and no one should want to be with someone who doesn't respect them. It's been 2 years now since he ghosted me and yes, It still makes me sad and angry and confused at times. But because I never chased him or called or texted him, I AT LEAST have my dignity and I can respect MYSELF.
After that experience I had, I now have a firm standard of respect that I require of someone towards me. I treat myself and others with respect, so I have to require the same treatment from others. I'm sorry I've written so much here, but you're not alone in this. The good news is these horrible experiences will only make you love yourself more in the months and years to come. You'll look back and maybe see the red flags you missed with him, and in the future your radar for mistreatment and bulls**t will become much better and if you stand firm on your requirements for how others treat you, you'll attract better people with good hearts and honest intentions. I'm not saying being hurt or fooled by someone will never happen again, but you'll be able to handle it better and recover quicker because you've gotten through it before. ❤️
@@yuyingdai6733same thing happened to me. He treated me so well, promised me he cared for me and we had such a healthy and happy connection and then one day he broke it off and went silent. Out of nowhere. Broke me to a million pieces, I cried everyday for 6 months. I am finally at a place where I made peace with it and I no longer feel sad about it. You will get there. Allow yourself the space to heal, feel your pain so you can process it and one day, you will wake up and you won’t feel that way anymore. I promise.
I am probably not the age you are targetting to but this episode resonated so much to me, i dared to react.
Because unfortunately, this happens at any age and hurts as much as when i was young.
I,m 63 been in a great relantionship for 18 months, we were both very happy to have found each other and made plans for the future, including buying a house abroad to retire together.
There were no signs at all something was off.
Yet, one day, out of the blue and with no reasonable explanation, he said he could not go on. He is 65 . And just like that, and astonishing to everyone that knew us ( family, children, grandchildren and friends) it all ended.
I still have a good life without him and i have moved on . But sometimes I stil wonder what happened, what on earth happened. Regards V.
Sadly, I don't think you will ever really know. You will never get an explanation that makes any sense, that behaviour is not rational. Be glad it happened after only 18 months, not after 5 years when you'd already moved to another country with him.
I JUST had the same thing happen. I’m 54 and he is 48. We had this amazingly wonderful relationship for a year and 3 months. He invited me over one night for what was a regular date night and then broke up out of nowhere. No warning, no indication. Nothing. However, we spoke a couple of days afterwards because the breakup was so emotional for both of us, and THAT is when the truth came out. I had NO idea how deeply damaged/traumatized he is due to his marriage breakup 9 years ago after deep betrayal and cruelty (mental) she inflicted on him. He was a sobbing mess. Side note: he never went to therapy for it after it happened, which I told him he needed it desperately. He worked it “out in his head,” he said. 🤦🏻♀️ Had I HAD this information from the get-go, things would not have progressed. I would’ve ended it. *sigh*
Nobody wants a relationship anymore. There's too many "options"... or so they think.
@wootenkristy Yes, I had a similar thing happen to me recently except he confessed about his mental health issues fairly early on. I knew it wouldn't last anyway, there was a big age gap and physical distance between us. I'm sorry this happened to you. I know it hurts. ❤️
@@SkyePhoenixThank you, and I’m also so sorry that you also experienced something similar.
"You have to believe love is possible, otherwise love can't find you" Thanks for saying this Audrey!!!❤ Made me 💯 sure that I shouldn't go on a date yet. Cuz I don't believe it atm.
I started looking at the comments toward the end of the video and I read your comment with this quote right when she said it! 💫
@@Squintillions hahahahhah perfect timing ⏱️
This happened to me and after a year and a half I’m still not totally over it. It can be traumatic to feel like you could have met the one and then they just discard you and you never hear from them again.
Exactly,block you,so cruel to play with peoples feelings
Im sorry you went through this and I hope you heal 😢❤ x
Exactly, I'm still having a some what hard time with this.
@@matthewjamesturner8 thanks Matthew 🙂
I'm 63 and was in a relationship for 5 years and one day he went from I love you to I no longer love you. It was so traumatic. It's been over a year and I'm still trying to heal emotionally, mentally, and financially. Through everything I'm grateful for the spiritual growth and wisdom I've gained.
Here's the list: they unself-aware; do not self-reflect; are selfish and have been stringing you along - to get the benefits before it gets to the requirement of actual intimacy and commitment (this is soooo common it begs one to never get intimate until you know the person for more than 8 months imo); are dismissive avoidant; or are on the spectrum of psychopathy, sociopathy, narcissism etc. Otherwise, they would be able to communicate with you normally and would not end it 'Suddenly.' The writer in this video seems to be dealing with a Dismissive Avoidant. It is clear as a bell ringing to me. With the internet we're learning a lot of things about our fellow humans. I think we need to flip things around and instead of assuming the person can handle emotional intimacy it's best we assume they can't. Until they've proven otherwise
I like this. Very well said 😌
I was seeing a guy that I was feeling may be long term. We were creeping up on the 3 month mark and hadn’t defined what we were yet. On the Friday before our Sunday date he was telling me how much he was looking forward to seeing me. That Sunday 2 hours before we were supposed to meet for our date I get a text saying his “heart just isn’t in it anymore.” Of course my friends were all saying that he must’ve been seeing someone else and chose them, or the thought of that 3 month mark terrified him. I was disappointed, but cut off communication after that text. Even though I gave a cold response of “have a nice life,” I was crying on the phone to my best friend after it happened. I was hurt. It’s been a couple months since, and I still don’t feel like trying to date. I too feel so burned out with dating for a very similar reason.
Were you two sleeping together if I may ask?
Same thing happened to me 😢 it was the 3 month mark… went on vacation talked marriage and everything and two days later he ends it by text…. Still healing from it. Why do people act like they care so much and then be like nah I didn’t actually care lol ….
@@litty9701 it’s so devastating. I don’t want to experience that, or some form of that again. I’m tired of constantly being disappointed in people.
Why does this happen so frequently after 3 mos? It's very peculiar.
@@SagittariusBabe87 the 3 month rule I’ve heard of on social media. People say that no matter the gender, people typically “drop the veil” and show you who they really are at that point.
I never understood how "what we had" in reference to the first few months spent together, is viewed as anything more that the rose-colored honeymoon phase before the real connection is created. Getting attached to the honeymoon phase is a fantasy and an illusion. People should care more about what happens next, instead of ruminating on what was.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment?.... feelings freak them out. Maybe....The man wasn't able to manage his emotions so he had to pull away to feel safe? Emotionally unavailable. 😢
Yea😢My fearful avoidant ex bf said & did the same thing 3, 4 times , but came back everytime to reconnect .
But the when we got closer wit love again joy after 2nd breakup , he jumped into a rebound in December 27th for getting delayed to text him in his longing time, a word I shared on 26th abt END assuming I rejected him, ended our love. He was in deeply love with me since 2022, but its like a on off bulb, hot & cold, push pull. He wants see me whenever he gets an opportunity he expected sex from me (but we couldnt do it physically ) , but he feared intimacy , commitment💍 .
Since December Still he didnt text / chat me other than a 👍 . Even I msgd him I didnt do as that in January & after NC I msgd him for his bday in June. No reply for any, may b having resentment . Even I told abt his childhood traumas ( FA + BPD traits) , he admits it, but no communication . But as Im in NC he comes to see me whenever there is an event in my college .He removed those photos from profiles after my 1st msg. But then I cant see his whatsap profile.
I dont know how fast his rebound goes, if he loved me truly how he keep connection wit her this long? Should I continue if he comes back? But Im not sure abt his behaviour , character unless he heals 100%💔
💯 I just experienced this with a guy I was dating. He could barely open up to me emotionally when it came to a lot of things. Shut down, ghost and be distant. Then, disappeared soon after with an excuse which I don't really believe.
I so love,, how Aubrey brought it back to Charlotte. So much wisdom in Matthew’s words, however, one can get a bit lost in it all and Aubrey bringing it back to Charlotte, frames things.
I thought the same❤ she's great
Those men, those people, don't love the other. They love their imagination of the other.
This happened to me a few months ago. In my situation, I found out that the man I was dating was a dismissive avoidant. I wasn't aware what attachment styles were all about, but I (of course) know now. It was a very painful experience that caused me to spiral into depression. I'm taking as much time to heal as possible before I put myself out there in the dating world again, but I feel that this time, this incident hurt me so much that I may not fully recover. I'm just so tired of dating apps and the whole dating scene in general. 😢
This describes my situation exactly. Hurt so much I have been crying and depressed for over two months. I don’t think I’ll fully recover either.
@@michellek2946 I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting too. I wish you strength and am sending positive energy your way. We'll get through this eventually. After this, we'll be able to recognize the red flags in men we date going forward. 💛
This is exactly my situation, but it wasn’t a dating app. It was someone I connected with after 20 years of just being friends. It was going so well that he even stated “everything feels so good and comfortable”. He had said “most girls would have demanded XYZ by now, but you’re so relaxed and cool”.. Then he turns around and disappears. I know that he just got out of a relationship so I’m giving him space because I wouldn’t want to take advantage of him if he realizes he’s not ready. I totally get that. The problem for me is he let the entire connection drop and really didn’t text or call for months. Like when he said he needed to take a step back he followed it up with we could hang out as friends and do fun things. And I was totally OK with that. He responded to my few texts, but that’s not the same as your own Action to reach out to someone. Now he’s been avoiding me so I gave up.
❤@@flutist581
@@peacepantherproductions Sounds like the actions of a DA especially the friends part
My boyfriend took me on vacation and talked marriage and family and then two days later broke up with me by text … makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one going through this😢….
29:45 how to protect yourself
30:32 show up, consciously
Such a fantastic question and answer.
Focus on your healing. If you keep attracting the wrong partners, you may have an attachment wound that needs addressing. My dating life has become alot healthier from doing alot of inner work with old trauma wounds and building more self love, trust and respect.
I find that one thing that is not mentioned very often is that not everyone has the same degree of curiosity towards others. In the early stages of a relationship, having fun brings people together, but the degree of curiosity that people have towards others can be a crucial factor in who is out of it first. Someone may want to know you for a week and then lose interest just because they are not people who get interested in things IN GENERAL. If we are the curious type it's impossible for us to see how someone may want to stop the process of knowing each other and end up feeling like 'we are not interesting enough', just because we cannot figure that other people may just not be capable of the same degree of curiosity we have. But that's on them
A therapist once told me: low selfsteem and trauma can blur or mess up with our intuition so is important to be careful cause is like “going to the supermarket while starving” you will end up eating anything
change the narrative and make dating a funny thing without much expectations
I am 50 and have been on over 100 first dates. After being single for 8 years I met someone. Then had the same thing happen. We spent every night together for almost 3 months only to be told I'm not enough 😢 it's broken me. He met my entire family. I did everything for him. It's going to be so hard to trust myself again.
This is sad,but its the rotten 3 mth thing
My dear lady, always trust yourself! You will have a great life no matter with or without a partner. Don't give him that much credit. He's not worth it
Rejection is god's protection
I think you dodged a bullet
At first i was not sure about Audrey but now that i have gotten to know her advice, i find she really lends a dose of reality that was a little needed. Have always loved Matthew’s content of course, just think she is a great addition to it
as a guy, that's the most common experience i had of ladies overselling how they felt about me to suddenly pull away from a serious relationship and i felt used for some quick attraction, conquest and sex.
Crazy how common this is becoming with dudes
Sam Vaknin said 50 percent of ,men are narcissoistic and 50 percentr ofd women are narcissistic.
Dr. Bruce Lipton says people behave the way they were raised in childhood,
or things they learned in childhood, because the subconscious mind program was created in childhood.
But in adulthood you may reprogram the bad habits.
So maybe you have to find a girfiend in the healthy 50 percent. Learn genuine communication.
Date multiple then instead of focusing on one .... note date as in going for coffee not sleeping together
But Soooo many guys want a sounding board... not sex...men are sexless now, they just want a "listener" not a lover,
i say put out or get out!!!
You’re actually a legend mate. Please don’t stop doing this there’s men in the background like me that need this help even if we don’t necessarily speak up
Thank you 👍
This just happened to me today .It no loss weren't meant to be.We just start talking Monday via text. Our conversation went were respectful and pleasant. Nothing surprise me what a person do .
Excellent podcast Matthew and Audrey. So many good points and advice given. At the end of the day, I think an important concept to keep in mind is balance. "Keep reaching for the stars while your feet remain firmly planted on the ground." Living our best life while we remain open for the right person for us to show up. Fill up our life with good, supportive relationships via family and friends; be engaged in work or hobbies that we're passionate about; have adventures traveling solo or in groups, and not wait until we have a partner to create and live this way. Once we meet someone with potential, implement the"invest and test" method that Matthew always speaks about to evaluate and integrate this new person into our life. And be willing to make any adjustments based on their actions along the way, including deciding that they're not right for us. And finally, after implementing all of the above, keeping in mind that there are no guarantees and if we don't take a risk we'll never know, and we may lose out on the opportunity to share our life with the right partner. 💫💖
Hey Matthew, I want to thank you for helping men heal as well. It's been very tough but for me you definitely make it easier to know there is a better tomorrow.
So nice to hear men listen to this kind of stuff and are interested in this kind of self growth and relationship awareness ❤
Find support and love in those who have consistently shown you love and support….
And love comes in many forms….
It’s not only romantic…
There can be romance without love..
And love without romance…
New Romantic experiences can be a form of affection…joy…..adventure…
But love takes time…
Trust takes times
💛
We all want to go into love with a certainty that the person we love wont hurt us leave us or die before us. Nobody likes uncertainty but life is full of risks
This happened to me a month ago. It was a very promising connection and I finally felt like something could work out. He kept saying "I really like you, and I want to be able to build your trust" only for him to say he is not ready for a relationship two days AFTER agreeing to be in a relationship! Sex never happened however because it was only a month of dating.
He offered to remain friends but he got overwhelmed by my constant texting (I do not handle rejection well) and decided to not even be friends. I felt double dumped. I am getting better day by day but I do wonder had I reacted differently we could be friends :/ I tried saying sorry for my behavior but no response. Oh well.
Friends wouldn't have work out anyway. Better to just move on all together. Hope you feel better soon!
You dodged a bullet. Friends nonsense is bs.
The constant texting is just your way of trying to reconnect after someone has disconnected from you - I don't think you should blame yourself for that. I've done that myself and it happens to a lot of us who want to connect to someone. It's just an indicator that the other person isn't available for connection in the way that you need.
I found out my partner of 32 years was cheating on me. I never thought I would be with a man again. Genuinely. I met a man out one evening, where neither of us had any intention of doing so. It's 3 months and im trying to manage my feelings because I really do like him. Unexpectedly.
Follow your feelings. 😌
Makes a lot of sense! Nothing in life is guaranteed, especially relationships
One thing about Matthew is he is not going to give a one word answer, that itself has helped me do the same now. A recovered black and white thinker
Audrey is just the epitome of loveliness ❤
consistency over intensity. that's a good one
You two together are the perfect example of synergy and how marriage can (and should) enhance or complement what we’ve started building as individuals. Matt, you have so much insight and I love so much of what you say. Audrey then comes in and enhances it by asking the real world questions we as women would ask if we were there and then it helps you to provide additional clarity and explore what she’s says. It is just synergy in action. It’s how men and women are meant to complement each other’s strengths in relationship. Love it, thank you bringing Audrey in and may the synergies continue to come forth as your marriage grows in the richness of love and companionship.
These situations where you get carried away happened to me as a woman but I also definitely did it to some men too (partly unconsciously / partly self-deceiving myself or hopping it would work somehow).
Are these characteristics of avoidant attachment? A trip away then they freak out and disappear? This exact same thing happened to me. We are 8 hours apart, had 2 remote weekends away together whichbwere great, then i stayed a weekend at his home and 2 days after I left we were over. All after he say many times, "this feels too good to be true" ... When they say that, believe them.
As a man, this happened to me just now, dated her for 3 months then she lost interest and started being short, no more babe calling or hanging out, we were so close every weekend, I’ve been giving her space and distance, she never really told me she’s not interested but I’m worried at this point, when she does text me , it’s like I’m a friend.
Romantic relationship experience can be form affection joy and adventure, timing is everything ❤
Matthew & Audrey are couple goals 🫶🏻
Wow. This is spot on to my exact current situation... It is so devastating to go through this kind of breakup. Thank you Matthew for helping me during this time and giving me hope for the future. Love your new book too!!
I have started dating after 2 years of separation and I find it very tricky compared to how it used to be before I got married. Especially on dating apps. I had a very similar experience to Charlotte a few times and it seems like boys are more into short and non-commited relationships at first. And they don’t come across as decisive.
Got over skis emotionally. Man found things he wasn’t specifically attracted to when having sex. It’s a very hard thing to know ahead of time. It sucks, I’ve had that happen multiple times and it’s HARD to tell someone “I’m not attracted to this.” Especially after building up an emotional connection.
There’s always a tangible reason. But we also aren’t trying to hurt others by being brutally honest. So we give all the excuses we all give.
Women are biologically wired to form attachments to their sex partners because of the oxytocin they release during sex. Men, on the other hand, bond through vasopressin, which is released after spending significant amount of time with someone. Western dating culture is linked to very high rates of depression and anxiety and that's because of how fast sex happens and things like 'casual' dating (when sex is already involved), one night stands, nonexclusivity or situationships being normalized. Just don't have sex before commitment is given and don't accept the things I mentioned. This will save you a lot of trauma and damage to your self-esteem.
Thank you, very well said. 😌
What if the sex turns out awful?
I know this is about relationships but I’ve had this with 2 friendships recently. Told me I was a great friend & then changed their minds. It hurts. X
Great point. Being concious of our feeling is very important
This happened to me almost four months ago, a guy I was dating for a year ended things and I thought everything was going great. I haven’t heard from him since and I’m still trying to get over it.. 💔
Thank you, Matthew and Audrey! Following the end of my own "Situationship" I've found immense help in your podcasts and videos. Keep up the good work, you're helping plenty of women around the world! 💛
@@anastazjamalczyk7683 Virtual hugs from me, Anastazja❤️ I also ended the situationship 3 weeks ago...
@@kingaszperka7675❤️❤️ hang in there, too, it does get better. I had a few relapses but this current week I'm feeling really great, nearly don't think about him at all. Maybe he'll cross my mind twice or three times a day. I'm also on vacation so the change of scenery and new people serve me well, too, in that sense.
I actually went on a cute date today :)
I'm not ready for a relationship but even just talking to someone was a good thing for me.
Give it time. Relationships, in any shape or form, suck and make you ache so much but time does heal. I think I can finally say I have moved on, after 2 and a half months...
Your podcast is my guide. Trying to slow down my phase .. thank Matt and Audrey
Thank you. I almost let myself fall for someone I was seeing for 3 months. He was totally consistent and lovely towards me. Then he ended it saying he thought we were both starting to develop feelings and that he never wanted love again and was going to live on his own with his dog in the country. Sounds ridiculous but he's moved to the country since and is still single. He had a bad divorce so I guess he's not willing to work on himself to get over that. Not sure why he really bothered dating me for so long in that case. How strange are people. I am glad I didn't go all in right away. Though it still hurts.
Great grounding podcast! Be solid within yourself - I will be ok should you leave. Matthew & Audrey thank you ! You have changed the way I am approaching my dating journey in such a healthy way!!! ❤
This is such a considerate and understanding point of view. Yet when you‘ve been there yourself and you‘ve taken it slow, yet after three months get ghosted with no explanation, it‘s hard to see yourself responsible for what happened. Or show any understanding :(
timing is everything
People getting carried away n then, not having the guts to be truthful about it .. ..
😐
Awesome! loved the perspective from both of you, I think having a man and woman come from different angles makes a huge difference. I could see your pragmatic perspective Mathew and.Audrey had a feeling of understanding in an empathy approach.
One of the most powerful things Matt’s ever said- don’t date someone based on how you feel about them, date based on how they make you feel. Such a great line to remind yourself of when you find yourself anxiously overthinking because of someone’s low investment. It helps you instantly feel back in control.
Mathew that saying about being in a hurry was so relevant today.
Matthew and Audrey make such a great team ❤
Thank you both for the video! So nice! It would also be so nice to share with us how you two went through the first months of your relationship, the thoughts you had when you first met, your doubts etc.
Thank you Matthew and Audrey..going through something you mentioned and your discussion and the points you made inspired me to perceive points I initially thought of but discarded because feeling pain and other emotions. Your discussion inspired me to write to the person and tell him that whatever his reasons for the sudden change after 2 years, I choose to forgive him and wish him happiness with whomever he chose over marriage with me. I feel this releases me from the spiraling negativity I feel inside ...
Great video and very helpful to give some perspective to what I’m going through. Thank you.
Thank you SO much for both of you to have this video and it is very similar to me as well .. love your lovely wife and hope your channel grown 😁
Thank you very much for this video Matthew and Audrey❤
I really liked the example of how you hire someone, go out for drinks, have an amazing time and create a story about how good is this person without actually didn't have any evidence to assess this person against the standards of the working place. This example helps in our love lifes and also in the professional environment, I love it!
This reminds me of this song from "A Chorus Line." But it is also incredibly painful at times, so painful.
What I Did for Love
Kiss today goodbye
The sweetness and the sorrow
Wish me luck, the same to you
But I can't regret
What I did for love, what I did for love
Look, my eyes are dry
The gift was ours to borrow
It's as if we always knew
And I won't forget what I did for love
Gone
Love is never gone
As we travel on
Love's what we'll remember
Kiss today goodbye
And point me toward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for
Love
Love is never gone
As we travel on
Love's what we'll remember
Kiss today goodbye
And point me toward tomorrow
Point me toward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love what I did for love
I love how Audrey challenges Matthew and it’s so okay with him and her. She really questions things w vigor and honesty and intuition. I see why you two are a match. Good shit.
Another great episode!!! Thank you both for the nuggets of wisdom and insight.
Thank you for all that you both have been sharing!
Thank you both for this great podcast ❤
AMAZING INTERVIEW THAANKS
I experienced this and it was such a needless stupid unnecessary situation in my life, I could hardly believe it. I guess it was meant to just shatter some illusions I had about love and dating.
@user-yr9ry2nn8e same here😢
What a wonderful episode, so accurate and important!
I love the intensity versus consistency conversation
Loved the comparison with job interview!
Pretty much same thing happened to me, except I’m a guy and the girl broke it off, not me. Grateful for this video.
We dated for 6months and she out of the blue said “I’ve now evaluated the relationship and I’m choosing to go another way” after plenty of intimacy and travel and those three little words. It hurts pretty bad.
This Video is unbelievable 🎉🎉🎉 honestly both of your communications are impressive amazing insight and advice ❤ love the fact we dont hear the stories of the unsuccessful .... Golden
Men who are watching, could you please confirm from a male perspective?
I agree here.
Got over skis emotionally. Man found things he wasn’t specifically attracted to when having sex. It’s a very hard thing to know ahead of time. It sucks, I’ve had that happen multiple times and it’s HARD to tell someone “I’m not attracted to this.” Especially after building up an emotional connection.
There’s always a tangible reason. But none of us are trying to hurt others by being brutally honest. Sometimes…sometimes….vague is less hurtful than the real thing and can be a longer term mental health gift to someone than the brutal truth.
Such a relatable email❤😢❤
Very interesting even for those of us already in a relationship
I agree that in someway, we can be the ones who hurt people. I often feel I need someone to fill the void now that I am separated from my husband (just turned 6 months separation) but after dated and met several guys, I feel terrified that I might NOT be there for them because of boredom and I don't even know if I am a keeper. I love the game of being chased and needed by men but maybe someday, I will be more committed. Please don't judge me, I am just doing me.
this girl had THE EXCAT SITUATION LIKE I DID, BUT WHEN I TELL YOU IN DETAILS this helped me soo much thank you❤
I had this 7 months and was a serious official relationship, was always consistent, booked trips 3 days prior and then blindsided me one evening to end it and tell me he had conflicting feelings for a coworker…. And then he just disappeared
It happened to me too, I'm still recovering, it's been very painful
I looove the trial period illustration you gave about the having drinking with coworkers, forging a bond you thought would work.... it helped me put some distance in my mind to understand that just like he's trying me out, I'm also trying him out too, and it's okay that we might decide not to choose each other. Hurts less, allows me to be more sober minded. Thank you 🥹💕
I've been dating a guy for 2 months, at the beggining he promises all the good things, we have an amazing connection, lots of things in common, I haven't feel this connection in a long time, he said he love me, he wants this to work, until one day my car break down, I'm an inmigrant, I have no family here, so I ask him to help to figure out my car like connect me with a mecanic something like that he was just I'm not here to fix your problems, I wasn't ask to buy me a car, I wasn't expecting anything like that, I just want to hear let me see what we can do, i want to feel like he has my back, he's lack of empathy was so disappointed, then he said I'm stepping away from this, I ended up heartbroken
Please make videos on what to do to keep a fun, hot, healthy marriage 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Just look at Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban 🙌🏻
Btw this girl gave ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS
This is exactly what I need now, it happened to me last week.. He was hot and pursuing and things went so well, we did talk to a trip to japan too😅🤣. And out of the blue while i thought everything was good, he told me he didnt feel it, there's something missing and he cant tell what it is. He wouldnt feel more than being friend with me and that's the end of it.
So beautiful. As always ❤
My ex told me that he left me bcs the llving me used to be effortless but that it started taking more of his energy than it used to. Our relationship didn't change, I didn't change and there was no major life event that happened either. He said he doesn't know why it happened, that I did nothing wrong and that what we had was never insignificant to him. Just a week prior he was talking to his friend about marrying me and we were together for 3 years. We didn't have any major issues and we we're best friends. Idk how he could just leave, he promised me that he would never leave me
It is very little she actually has said. Oftentimes, the woman is not daring enough to ask what he's looking for and just assume it's the same as what she wants.
Besides, he might not have said any promises at all if she looks back.
I've experienced the same with the exception that I didn't have expectations. And he was honest and open, didn't manipulate or promised anything.
He was all in and then said his finances he couldn’t deliver and took a job elsewhere and we would not continue l, in a cold text . He gave a commitment and painted our life together”. In detailed. It feels so painful. Broken hearted. We got along so well .. and then we planned to move he would help me “, I gave notice to my landlord and he texted me a good bye text .. very cold with no response to my calls etc
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Yup, it happened to me, the exact same words and all. After staying 6 months in a cave i stopped the pity party and moved on. Im glad she destroyed me, it helped me become the man i want
Very powerful ❤
Special: People need to marry for Chemistry! It's awesome when a relationship just clicks.
This is my life right now.
Mine,too
😢
@@user-sj4hn7jo9d❤