I Don't Trust Women
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Might want to put quotation marks on the title. Can't have your words twisted.
Is it just me or the tittle of the video has been changed from "You don't need to trust women to date her" to "I don't trust women"?
Edit: Please answer it reminded me of barensteins bears theory, I hope Im not insane.
@@muhammadihsanyarda5409 yes.
@@mrdonut3382 oh thanks
Please put that on your official UA-cam channel later on!
This applies to both sexes. The difference is that there is a spotlight on red flags of low quality men, while women aren't held accountable.
🤔
@@colinesquire2480 he’s saying it’s time to lose the victim mentality
point no. 8
@@jeremiahlewis4630 that’s asking too much of women unfortunately.
Exactly. Women have no social pressure anymore, so the unwritten social contracts are all unbalanced. No matter what guilt trip one tries to put on men, sorry, hard pass. There is ZERO DOUBT we men have faults, are causing issues, have to work on ourselves and all that. But guess what, it's not bullet proof at all since it takes only of the two in a partnership to bail out for it to end. Modern women are known for admitting wrongs, introspections, accountability, keeping their words even when they don't "feel" like it? Ha. You go girl. Be happy.
""A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her" Oscar Wilde.
🤔
Facts
as long as she loves you more than you do
What would a man gain from a relationship with a woman if not love and sexual intimacy?
A statement coming from a notorious homosexual. Tell it, girlfriend!
Trust is a very big component of my relationship with people. If I can't trust them, I don't need them.
That's why I have a few friends.
Best way.👍
This. A confident man has trust in his ability to determine the integrity of others.
I know a lot of people: I only have a few friends. Trust and Reliability are overused words in today's society: they have deep meaning.
Trust is something one has as an integral part of their personality (or doesn't) while in any relationship trust must be earned and developed.
Why would I ever consider dating a woman who I felt did not deserve my trust - ?
So i do my man. Also very few occasional relationships.
Same
Small circle is the best friendships. I only have 6 friends and they are awesome. I don't bother with romantic relationships, never had and never will, because they aren't gaurenteed to last according to the things i've seen in society
The more I learn about how women are the more I appreciate healthy relationships.
For me the more i learn the sooner i want to leave this human world.
@@MyNameisRevenant 💀
@ Is good to know that im not the only one who thinks the same, im not a mind reader thou thanks for the compliment.
@@brentwilliams694 hence some decide the juice isn't worth the squeeze (a two hand hard squeeze for a single drop of juice) and channel their effort into other aspects of life where fulfilment is more stable
@@MyNameisRevenant facts bruhh
Your ex will never give you the true reason for breakup. You'll just get lying feedback
I give up, i can't let anyone see me vulnerable, especially a woman/girl. I'm glad i don't a girl said she was never my gf even tho she was the one that told me she wanted to be with me. I was a fool for giving it a shot. Welp my gut had a feeling that no girl would like me and it's always right. Whenever a girl said she liked me she either lied or publicly shamed me, so i was never wrong after that. As soon as she said she never liked me i simply said "ok, gn" blocked her and deleted the number. I was basically mentally prepped so meh no skin off my back
@@joshualabadie6914 Bro look up coach Corey Wayne on UA-cam?
Basically the answer is yes with your exgfs. Logic doesn't work. Just emotions which change on the moment and ovulation cycle. She hates you and loves you depending on the minute. She felt she was your gf that is true. She also said she is not your gf which is equally true too. It was all at the moment in her mind. As a dude you're supposed to know it and see it as she can fall out and in love depending on your alpha presence moment by moment. Be an awesome dude and she will keep loving you
She will lay all the blame on the man.
@@gabem6863 my favorite is yelling at the soon to be ex-husband for causing her to cheat because it's all his fault
@@joshualabadie6914 stay strong king
I don't trust crocodiles. But I trust my ability to evade their bites. That's why I hang out with crocodiles all the time.
I think this is a useful insight
Bad analogy. Look up murphy's law. You can't just hang with crocodiles safely. If you do do, eventually, you know...
@@seitokimbo8900 I think you're getting my point!
@@ChristieNel Man i feel dumb after re-reading it.
Even steve irwin got killed by a stingray.
Watch out mate. You think you can evade their bites, but one day its inevitable that you will get bit.
The main problem is that modern dating dynamics give most women an illusion of choice and most men an illusion of drought. Most men are so excited and amazed when a reasonably attractive woman is interested in them that they ignore red flags and go "all in".
For men the drought is no illusion it's a very real thing which is why they act so desperate. No, the "illusion", the mirage formed upon the barren desert caused by said drought is the woman herself.
@@edwhatshisname3562 Largely agree with your point. I think if men did learn the game and how to increase their SMV etc then there likely wouldn't be a drought for most of them. That said, the illusion of choice is one of the reasons why the drought exists for men, and the Game becomes necessary in dating.
@@edwhatshisname3562 Yes I largely agree. The "illusion" I guess is that in basic numbers terms there is one girl for every guy. In reality of course if the vast majority of those women find the majority of the men undesirable then it's not illusion, it's cold reality.
@@TheInsomniaddict If society actually bothered to put some effort into humbling women the way that it does men rather than spoiling them from the time they are little girls and catering to their every whim and need maybe they wouldn't be so picky and or disagreeable in the first place.
Right now your average woman is overselling herself.
@@edwhatshisname3562 I'd say women are overvaluing and underselling themselves. One reason why I think men could work around the drought is that most men can improve themselves further. I think a lot of guys don't strive to win the girl because the girl isn't worth winning, which means that their own value is lower than it could be as well.
Men can beat the drought, the question is "is it worth it?" From a dating perspective, likely no, but for personal benefits likely yes.
I have been single and celibate now for 3 years because I came to the truth that society today is drastically molding women into what I don't want to spend my time and energy on now in my life.
These ten points are amazingly close to how I found peace in my life. No. 2 and 10 are what I constantly reflect and act on.
It's clear today society has more low quality women and I prefer to be alone for peace and growth.
You can't see the horizon by choosing to stay in the deep valley.
BTW. I got 3.5 years off sex/relationships myself. Your comment was hands down one of the most hope giving comments I've seen in a long time. (That I'm not alone in my stance on women) because pretty much NO ONE around me feels the same way. Basically every man I know is terrified of being/dying "alone". Idk why! Cuz when they finally land a woman, within 2-3 years they are calling me talkin about how they made yet another mistake and want out. So what was the point? They could've spent that time with themselves, growing, becoming better, more desirable, wiser, smarter, more successful/skilled, a better father, a better man. Instead, they add to the list of regrets, or "things NOT to do again". All because they couldn't stand the stigma that our society places on being single, or really taking a self inventory. That scares most men. It's sort of the same reason alot of people today hate the concept of a holy God. It forces them to really look at themselves for what they are. Why do that when you can blaim someone else or do whatever you want all the time. Growth takes sacrifice. And I def sacrificed women for growth. Tho you may not agree on everything I believe, I think you are a strong, wise person...and I do hope things have gone well this past year for you! God bless!
1. Learn about female nature
So many relationships and personal issues would be solved or wouldn't even exist if there wasn't a systemic effort in all aspects of life which is designed to deny basic information about female nature to all of us, men and women. If a young guy follows nothing more than mainstream advice presented by the media he will have a completely wrong picture of what women are like and what is expected of him. That in turn will produce a ton of problems when dating to both him and the girls he will be with.
5. Don't offer commitment too quickly
Words to live by, especially once you understand that to a lot of women commitment is like heroin. At times it gets so bad they're not even in a relationship because they like you, they're only in it to get their fix, and the moment you show commitment they got what they were after and from that point on the "relationship" may as well be finished. If you want to commit only do it after you're certain that the woman wants you for you and not because she needs another fix. You've probably heard the good old 'men are afraid of commitment' mantra? Most of the time they're not afraid of it, they're afraid that their woman is an addict.
7. Set boundaries
That one is paramount. The main reason why politics, society, and culture are in the place they're in is because the masculine no longer has any and is no longer enforcing the few boundaries that remain. If you won't have boundaries and if you won't protect them don't be surprised if every relationship you end up in deteriorates into total chaos. There is a reason why old religious and philosophical thinkers all made a connection between chaos and the feminine. It's because the feminine is inherently designed to trample over any unguarded boundary, regardless of consequences of such actions or way of life.
Is your profile pic from Miami Vice movie?
Your examples here are spot on. Thank you for your addition to this already essential information.
How do you set boundaries properly?
@@saifshaikh3191 What do you think?
B. Be more attractive.
Q. Have more money.
I see lots of comments on your channel saying "I wish I have known it earlier" I'm 18 now and I couldn't be more thankful for finding your channel. Keep posting this great knowledge
You’re really lucky pal. This is a big gift for someone your age
I'm 17 and I learned about this side of human nature like an year ago and when I did it felt like there is nothing left to do in life anymore because there is guaranteed loss in relationships
@ There are still nice ladies, but they're getting very rare.
Congrats!! That's awesome! I'm happy for you!! You're going to have greater chances for success.
I'm 48 and had lots of success with women and a bunch of failures. Failures due to not understanding female nature. Failures cost more time, energy, money, emotional trauma, etc.
TRUST is too big a virtue, you can’t expect it from cheap people. Women or otherwise...!
Yes brother it's a true a thing . I expected it from every people I saw or talked to...!!!
@@DhilipNexus *every person I've seen or...
@@NikosM112 thanks
It's almost like dealing with children.
At least most children are honest.
Spoiled children.
They're like devil kids....
Yeah really mean nasty treacherous children.
@@Comeswoopfam 😭💀✌🏻
Instead of having to deal with problems I'd rather have no problems at all.
You'll suffer either way, so pick your suffering.
There isn't any way through life that is devoid of suffering.
Thats a child's way of abrogating responsibilities, not a good way to live life.
@@abotaweela1 Being cautious has saved more than a couple of lives , I don't see why it can't save futures
Intelligence is knowing when to give up and walk away. You're just stubborn.
facts
I think there is definitely some truth in your message in this video. I lost my wife almost 2 years ago. She passed away of liver failure from an alcohol addiction she managed to keep hidden. As angry as I felt at her for what she had done to herself, & by extension what she put me through, the person I felt the most angry at was myself for failing to see the warning signs of what was going on before it was too late. Even now I wonder if I was to get into another relationship if I would just be completely oblivious to such things.
Sorry for your loss man. I hope the future is fair brighter for you 🙏and i don't know you but I genuinely mean this
Ooof man that’s tough but accepting your boundaries (or lack of) & truths is a start to healing. Hope you’re doing alright these days!
Even if they don’t mean anything, be in the practice of meeting women (& people)
This will keep you sharp when you’re ready & also help you connect w some who are actually amazing people!
“How to be an adult in relationships” has been a good book for me I recommend it
Some drunks love the reckless party life, but their alcohol problem is obvious. That wasn't your wife. Part of addiction is the tendency to self-medicate. People with crippling anxiety will use alcohol to soothe themselves, to feel better. Unfortunately, alcohol is a depressant and has pronounced physical addiction. Let it go. How could you have saved her when she hid her inner demons so well?
@@pdlrkpdlrk9971 An innocuous and useless conciliatory expression, be better to say nothing.
Trust and respect are way more important than love.
Love can turn to hate in a heartbeat. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin.
Love is a fantasy
Hate is such an undervalued emotion. It can give you joy.
forgiveness vs wrath
They say the only people you will ever truly hate, are the people you initially love...
"Falling" in love
It called that way for a reason.
And “Love is Blind”. I told that to a group of 150 Marines last week. Hopefully the message got through to those chuckle heads.
@@trevorking2820 show them what Jodis done, that’ll get to their heads for sure
@@dominictoretto9645 Haha ikr. Man, I talked to a dude a while back and he had found out through the grapevine that his spouse had slept with at least 4 people in a week to include a threesome. The shenanigans on these bases are sad but hilarious 😂
@@trevorking2820 hahhaha yea but it’s only funny when you’re watching. Deep down we shed a tear for them
4:06 1. Learn about female Nature
5:10 2. Raise your value in the dating market
5:49 3. Learn to spot red flags
6:37 4. Have the courage to act on red flags
7:38 5. Don't offer commitment too quickly
8:30 6. Have Options
9:30 7. Set Boundaries
10:50 8. Enforce Consequences
11:58 9. Get outside feedback on your relationship
13:37 10. Fix your personal weaknesses
Hello Alexander, liked seeing this video, eloquent and to the point as always. Thought i might add some value, so here is the TOC. people, do like, if this helps you, so others can use it as well.
Last girl I was talking to had some red flags and I was not ready to offer her any level of commitment even more I wasn't ready to get into bed with her. This upset her so much she started a fight with me demanding I apologize, I tipped my hat, told her this was an interview not an offer and drew the line so she thought the dissolution was her choice.
Typical of a woman, demands apologies from a man for any reason, especially if he finds liabilities in her character.
“Trust but verify.” - Ronald Reagan
lol
That's one of those phrases that likely holds different meaning to people in STEM or IT, as it's used a lot there. For IT, "Trust" that the customer is attempting to explain the problem honestly and did attempt to do the troubleshooting, but "Verify" that it was actually done. There's a lot of communication problems where the end user doesn't understand what you mean, or thinks they did something not realizing a crucial step was missed or that the normal process has no impact in this situation (eg, "Shutting down a desktop" by powering off the monitor). Likewise in the Sciences "Trust" that an experiment was done faithfully, but verify the results.
"Trust, but verify" isn't a useful quote if you don't define what you're trusting. What I would trust is that a woman will largely follow their biological and social programming, but i would try to verify whether or not that assumption is true. I've found that it predominantly is true of most women's personalities. "Don't listen to what she says, instead watch what she does" is a negation of the initial quote, as it generally implies little to no trust in what she says, and instead focus on her actions.
@@TheInsomniaddict Insightful response. I am from a STEM background and 'verify' for me does have a specific meaning that is not exactly aligned with common usage. Reagan used this quote during the SALT talks (Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty) with the Russians. He promoted the idea that if he said he would do something they could trust that it would be done and he expected the same in return. At the same time he would verify (spyplanes, sats etc) that his trust was respected and, he fully expected, even required, that the Russians do the same.
I haven't trusted a woman since when i was 13 when a girl said her friend liked me and i agreed to go on a date then she said she was only joking and proceeded to tell the whole year group about this
That girl seems very immature to me. I am very sorry you had to go through that. I don´t know how old you are but I am guessing that this incident happened at least a few years ago. Because you weren´t a saint with 13 as well. People get older and more mature. I am sure this girl wouldn´t do this at an age over 17. What I mean is that I hope that you don´t assume that every girl is like this because you would miss out on a lot!!
@@_isabelle19_ You seem like a very nice person, but you’re wasting your time. I’m much happier being alone than dating. I don’t have to face rejection, face the fear of being used or manipulated, and get to live freely without being told what to do. Whenever I feel lonely, I just watch TV, read a book, or listen to music. That usually makes me feel better. I’m happier the way I am. I’m glad that you found love, and are living your life happily with the person you love, but that’s just not for me. Thanks for trying, though! It’s nice to know someone cares
It's entirely possible she liked you, but when she got bombarded with negative feedback, real or not about you from her girlfriends, she buckled under stress.
Had a similar thing happen to me. She bailed out on me during the school year, but approached me on her own and safe terms without her friends during summer holidays. Women are very prone to break from outside sources. Her family moved out to another country and I never saw her since, but it wasn't all that bad, considering she stomped on my heart and humiliated me in school.
@@janchovanec8624 You know what you are right, we know women bow to social pressure, my theory is women don't want to be happy because when they are happy they have nothing to complain about
@@_isabelle19_ all of you females are like this. Which is why I stick to men.
Women love having the power- when you need answers and they can withhold them. It makes them feel great.
Sometimes the universe just knows exactly what you need to hear.
If you can't trust 'em why would you want to date 'em. Sounds like a huge liability to me.
🤔
The same reason why you are watching his videos: We are "programmed" to want girls & children. If there was an off button everyone except the few guys who get girls easily would have pressed it.
Reproduction :(
No trust No Date...
Better hire a sex worker for sex .
Pingo For some people, the "off" button is the "on" button of their computer 😂. Or, in the future, the "on" button of some lover robot.
Their are some things out of a mans control alexander. Society wants to believe and give the benefit of the doubt to the woman, laws are written in favour of women. A low quality woman is an expert at playing the victim role regardless of her actions. A low quality woman can wreck a man regardless of how he handles the situation. Its pretty scary and will continue to be until society acknowledges mens problems and women are held accountable to poor actions the same way a man is
Problem is this society is producing too many low quality women.
So if you say "low quality women", does that mean there are also "high quality women"? This just feels to me like some people are better than others and that is just not true. Every person regardless their gender, nationality and skin tone has the same value and is amazing in their kind of way. Of course there are people who fit better and people who don´t fit at all. But one girl you call a "low quality woman" can be high quality and the "perfect match" to another guy. We in Germany have this saying: "There is a lit to every pan". And the same applies to men. Some women say that men only try to get girls to have sex with them. While that could be true to SOME men in a specific age gap, this shouln´t be viewed as the default for men and I would never go on and call them "low quality men". Because that would mean I look down at them and I am a better person WHICH IS NOT TRUE. Everyone deserves to be happy and accepted. And these men just don´t fit to me but they will meet other girls who will make them happy and (in return) will be happy because of those men. I hope I could help you get a different perspective and PS: I am a woman
@@_isabelle19_ there's no such thing as a "high quality woman"
@@vklnew9824 So what you´re saying is that women worth less than men? That is pretty sexist
@@_isabelle19_ well many of you sure take pride in devaluing yourselves, as if it were a badge of honor.
you can choose to understand women or you can choose to love women but you can't do both
Oscar Wilde tier quote
Dayum
You won’t love women for long if u are constantly getting cheated on.
This video is the most polite way of saying “she belong to the streets”
She's a roadbuilder?
@honky tonk you got it bro
@@honkytonk4465 She's building 'the wall' so she can smash into it at 60mph.
corey wayne = P?
Trust isn't something you give. It's something they earn.
What he's saying isn't "it's okay never to trust women", but "don't put your trust into people, men or women, too fast. The more you know them, the more you can trust them. But never trust them more than you trust yourself."
Just never trust anyone, your closest person have the best opportunity to stab your back. There's no action without risk simply choose on which risk you are ready to bear
This guy is a life saver. Thank you man.
Know a guy, he married his highschool sweetheart. She cheated on him the whole time they were married. I will NEVER trust women lol
Hands down one of the best rp/dating videos in youtube/ and my favorite among yours. thanks for your contribution to the community.
When partners cheat on you it's because of them and not because of you. Look at her relationship with her father, ask questions about her family and upbringing and you can discard her very fast in that case.
So a girl who was rised with an absent father it's a "dont even try" escenario?
@@chacondetunaerma sounds like high risk if she grew up lacking a father. I've seen how a woman with a very negative and aggressive father not acknowledging her leading to high promiscuity and her having serious self harm behavior in general.
@@chacondetunaerma Yes. Leave her for the streets
I agree but even if they have a good relationship with their father, she can still be for the streets.
@@BreeOwnsMyHeart I didn’t have a dad and I’m watching all these videos to learn what men think I’m defiantly not for the streets I’m not a slag
Seeing things through a redpill lens I see them strictly as stress relief and find it relatively easy to remain emotionally detached knowing what they are about
This hurts because it's true.
Remember, there is no such thing as "No Strings Attached".
Much of your advice focuses on how to "fix" the actions of a low quality woman. Don't fix her.....leave her.
Leaving is the number one way of getting rid of her actions. Let someone else deal with her toxicity
I disagree tho. I can relate to most of the points he gave and I realized that the problem was truly with me and trusting myself.
Have you even seen the video? Lol
"Notice red flags and be willing to act on them"
"It is better to be alone than with a low quality women"
"Have options"
"Make it clear that leaving is on the table"
I don't see where your idea of fixing low quality women comes from. Both high quality and low quality women will try to find your boundaries and test to see if you are serious. The difference is that a high quality woman will come to respect them.
@The demon Doctor Every woman "gets to go" the moment she decides to go, or when she gets cut loose.
I think that the problem not being addressed here is that we actually want to trust them in the same way a man would trust his best friends... but they always inhabit a stranger within them that we've never met.
Men and women are wired differently so you will never get that same trust as you do with your boys
@@damartsnakk i mean yeah i'm aware of that, i just mean that we "wish" it wasn't the case
@Wooo BaccWednesday oh yeah im with you brother, hence why i ride solo for the last 10 years LOL
A video on "8. Enforce Consequences For Negative Behaviour" would be interesting
It's always a good idea to daily strive to improve yourself. You cannot expect to attract excellence if you are a deeply flawed human being. But no matter what you do, after the wedding, the joyous reception, and the wedding bed, when you wake up the next morning, the person sleeping in the crook of your arm will be a total stranger to you. The woman who had been expending all of her time and energy to attract you, via the magic of a wedding ring, will be transformed into the woman who now sees you only as a means for her to achieve her own personal life goals.
Me when a girl tells me she likes beyblades and asks me to come hang out at her place to play
It's a trap! ;)
don't do it.. don't let it rip
@@mohandasjung Thats what I usually say when I visit Thailand 😅
Zzzip It before you Rip It!
and once you get there, she starts undressing herself for some reason
you have to be prepared to take a loss if you want a relationship
That kind of attitude is setting not only yourself but all of western civilization up for failure.
You can’t lose if you don’t play that kind of game..
@@mysteriousfleas Honestly, the current state of western civilization deserves a hard, crashing, burning "failure". It cannot be fixed any more
There's a fine difference between being able to take a loss and expecting a loss. Think about failure all the time, and you've already lost
@@mysteriousfleas bruh you guys are simply not the type of guy women lust after cause if you were you would never trust women again. They’ll give out their number like candy while in a relationship. They’ll talk to men behind her guy’s back and guys wonder why she gets a new bf a week after their relationship is over... She never closes her options. Her options stay open and she’s constantly setting up potential others. Notice how I never mentioned the guys she was already talking to when she met you cause women are NEVER really single like men are single. It’s literally two different definitions. A single woman is one that still has one or two guys that she sleeps with from time to time. These could be exes or players she can’t see herself with cause she can’t control him but she will sleep with them until she finds a guy. She won’t let them go during her relationship either because she’s already thinking about the end and “don’t want to end up with nobody” when it ends. She doesn’t have no faith in her relationships it’s just constantly setting up backups and keeping past men around with time to time texts.
I don't trust anyone.
I learned the hard way.
But putting your trust in someone is different than trusting someone.
I never thrusted any woman in my life, that's why i'm still a virgin
I see putting your trust in someone as you accepting the potential for it to fail or be broken ect. I see trusting someone as giving them a piece of your very core of your heart and joy that you can never be the same without, and then they take it with them for good once crushing your heart and soul.
100 % true Alexander.
To the new woman i dated i openly admitted my trust issue. But it actually was okay for her. It basically showed me that this might be a high quality woman.
thats a bad move to open up about your emotional scars so soon into dating a new woman no matter how high quality she is
@@johndoe5715 how do you know that I told her that „so soon“? Obviously I did not tell her that after our 10th date or something. You have to do it someday. But obviously not on one of your first dates.
Never ever show your weakness as a man, your girlfriend is gonna use that to you and you may not notice it at this time. Let her earn your trust or you goddam fix your trust issues first before going into relationship.
@@ineptadept3251 you cannot fix a trust issue by yourself. How will you fix it if you don’t actually go ahead and try it? This is a tough lessen to learn. But some things require other people. It it risky, just as you said. But you have to take risks to get further in life anyway.
@@lukaskoch2508 i agree, but never ever put your woman on the pedestal and always remember to set boundaries. Then youll be good
There can be no love without trust.
Says who
@@nobody-pu2ep The Ancient Greeks.
@@aleidius192 its valid for ancient time..this time is not like that
@@nobody-pu2ep why would you say that?
Because she is "modern".
I trust women... to be hypergamous & otherwise follow the standard female playbook.
"You can't trust Melanie but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie."
IMHO some guys get this wrong: You don't need to trust women.
Why?
Because if she's a high quality woman, she'd never do suspicious things (to you). Therefore, there's no need for trust. If someone intentionally does bad things to you, then that one isn't of high quality and should be removed from your life.
What's your thoughts on a woman who hides the relationship status, ditch the engagement ring, get half of your pics deleted from her social medias two months BEFORE asking you for the break up? Could that woman still be considered a "high quality"?
@@gbrl89 It depends. Did she all of that because she felt in danger and wanted as quiet as possible out of the relationship? Or because of an affair or seeing someone else? I consider the last one and for that it would be the following: I'm asking myself what was it in the first place, how this woman could to be considered as "high quality". For me she looks like a fan turning to the wind - far away from being "high quality". It seems for me like "I take what I get and when I see someone better, I take that and dump everything before". Many people say something like "all the experience you shared together is a nice to have" - but with such a break up? It was only a waiting game for her. IMO.
@@Lunaticusius That was my ex-fiancee behavior in the last two months we were together. I was in quarentine because I live with my parents and they belong to the group of risk, I told her that I needed her to be a little comprehensive until the vaccine or the virus were under control. I'm from Brazil and the situation isn't the best here, but it's been 9 months and she's already with another guy now that she found after six months. She had some health issues that lasted for more than a year, and I supported her during all this process, unfortunately I didn't have the same comprehension.
To me it's not so much that men don't trust themselves to realise when something goes wrong, it's more so that no matter how keen you are at noticing red flags, how knowledgeable, confident, high value, etc you may be, it seems that it's impossible to be sure that you'll always be able to tell, if something's wrong. That all the things you've mentioned will make it more likely that you do but since the information you're able to get and what you could extraction from them is so limited that with even having a lot of the qualties that you mentioned, it's still not enough.
Women are really good at convincing themselves that they're never wrong, that's why there are so many stories of them cheating for multiple years with little signs, all while using her partners money and resources like a leech. If they were able to convince themselves that they have valid reasons for doing so, then they won't experience any anxious or nervousness that you could use to catch on that something's wrong.
I hope I'm wrong and that in every failed relationship, there were always enough signs that if one was capable enough, he could find and realise beforehand but it doesn't seem like it is
High quality women nowadays are very rare. Keep working on u and avoid the 304s. ✌🏻🙌🏻
304s?
@@flowerofash4439 Type it in the calculator and turn it upside-down
It's also important to address the reasons why you allowed a woman to manipulate you, and why you kept taking her back. Perhaps a fear of loneliness, or fear of losing the connection. Do the inner work and it'll stop another woman treating you this way in the future.
It worked perfectly
Trust women to be women.
The thing is I’m to scared to even allow a girl to be my friend I always push them away cuzz I’ve just seen to many bad things
How could you ever trust them as a man with sharp sight?
Wall putty to cover wrinkles and craters. Paint to manipulate colors, shadows, shapes, sizes etc. Perfume with phthalates to make our brain want intimacy. Stilt shoes to appear much taller, push the chest up, hips out and tightening the calves. Corsets to make the waist look smaller and hips bigger. Push-up bra to make the breasts appear larger and firmer. Implants, botox, nose jobs, face lifts. Hair colors and extensions.
Fake tears to make you feel bad about yourself. Fake cuddly talk to do things for her. They don't invent anything. They don't build anything. They don't repair or maintain infrastructure. They don't share resources. They say one thing do the opposite. They don't honor promises. They only consume and spend on things to make the illusion stronger or make herself feel good right there and then.
About your second paragraph: Do you think any girl actually enjoys doing this? Especially when you said "corsets". You can´t really believe girls like to starve themselves, hide themselves under layers of make up and do everything they could in order to appear more beautiful FOR THE SAKE OF IT. The truth is: many many women would do anything just to be attractive FOR MEN! We feel very insecure and have a lot of pressure on us from the society. And about your second paragraph: What are your sources? It is true, there are more male repairmen and mechanics, but of course there are also women who do these things (e.g. Marie Curie). And men are also good liars. "They say one thing do the opposite. They don´t honor promises." That´s bullshit. I am not saying, no girl does that. Surely there are women who act like that. But there are also men with these personality traits. That is not connected to a gender.
Well, I'll concede that society is generally viciously dickish. I think we can all agree that we're sick of each others bullshit. Maybe a couple more years of solitude will do humans some good.
@@_isabelle19_ Regardless of whether or not women enjoy doing those things, they don't do them for men's benefit - they do them so they can ultimately benefit from men, whether directly (such as the physical and tangible benefits from a relationship with a successful man) or indirectly (such as the ego reinforcement from positive male attention). You don't feel insecure because of men, but because of the female competition who are better at playing that game than you are.
You are wrong here. Not trusting women is a good thing.
We are human, you can’t just have an on and off switch if you get attached or not, or if you get addicted to them because of sex. It’s a really tough time to be intimate with someone and have them disappear from your life. Soul bonding is not fun either. Maybe I have issues involved though as well.
You can change that belief , Sir, it's hard for you because you never draw a line in the sand, it is the ability to walk from any relationship that is not in your best interest regardless of how much you like her, you are the most important person in your life period, once you internalize that in your psychological make up ( which is not easy 😊 but can be learned ), as a matter of fact once you learn it ! , you will ask yourself way & how you couldn't see it that way before, sometimes you see the words but you might not seeing how deep is the meaning of these words, good luck Sir.
Reflect on the feelings and attempt to get out of yourself to view it from another perspective. Grounding yourself through meditation, or an activity that allows you to focus deeply, can help. Dropping the spiritual part of it, it's about quieting the maelstrom and finding a moment without. Use that to help better understand your situation and what decisions need to be made.
As an aside, I think I get your POV. I've only really cared about finding someone that I could deeply love, and it seems like not just society but women aren't built for it the longer I look into this stuff. I don't have much in the way of advice except spend time by yourself if you're not used to it. You can give love or attention or time but you shouldn't try to demand it. Realize most people won't give you the same amount of time as what you feel you're willing to invest. Don't give things away for free nor devalue your own contributions in such relationships.
Hey from the uk just wanted to thank you for helping me keep consistent after my last sad story this new girl is going so much more natural, fun, loving by just being a real man following your advice, thanks.
Everything you have said is true. I can’t help that I am terrified of women. I have been hurt once and will never go through it again.
A valuable and wise commentary. I know in the past I have made some woeful mistakes, ugh, actually plenty. But gradually getting wiser via finally learning. I met a woman who was really good for me, very smart, sexually adventurous, inspiring, but she would lie now and then (or a lot), and finally I had to admit she was delusional. I don't mean delusional as in she believed things I didn't believe in, I mean *delusional* as in requiring psychiatric intervention. So I broke off our relationship. In the end I had to admit to myself that I didn't love her, and I didn't trust her. Bingo. I was married to a woman I mistook for 'spontaneous' who happened to be simply unstable, did that for 20 years, yeah, not again. I've met some wonderful women since but self understanding can deflate your romantic illusions and leave you liking them but nothing deeper.
Not "trusting" or trusting, usually comes down to in reality: Am I safe? Can I relax now?
Uncertainty sucks. It creates fear, so the natural inclination is to make the fear go away.
One way to do that is by deciding, I'm safe, this is good, she is good, I can trust her.
I can relax.
That means she will always put us and me first.
Sweet, problem solved. No more fear. I can rest and relax.
Now I can write a fictional story/fairytale about who she is and how this will go.
Ahem....no so fast cowboy.
That is actually the trap.
For a man there is no resting.
Nothing is ever settled in this permanently.
If you rest, you will slack, and actual reality will change, even if you WERE 100% right at the start.
Life goes on and the truth changes.
That just happens to be the way life ... IS!
Nothing is ever settled and never will be in life.
Get comfortable with uncertainty.
Uncertainty IS reality. Reality and outcomes are always uncertain.
If you want to know who she is and what she is up to, ignore her words and
Pay attention to her behavior, today and every day thereafter, FOREVER.
Pay attention to your own behavior too.
Mind your story writing.
Mind your slacking.
Do you respect yourself based on your own actions?
If you do not, why should she?
If you were right at the beginning, you are likely to stay right as long as you:
- PAY ATTENTION to her behavior
- Focus on being the best you that you can be, by YOUR OWN standards, not her's.
Always be willing to walk away if staying, if keeping HER, requires YOU to compromise your own integrity.
Oddly enough, this approach I describe will also give you the best shot of having a relationship that actually WILL last forever.
Which if you are honest with yourself, is what you actually want.
Jumping through her hoops, doing whatever it takes to keep her based on her mercurial moods on the other hand, is the express lane ticket to breakup or divorce court.
Yes, the truth is precisely backward of what you believe it to be.
What you think will help hurts.
What you think will hurt (saying no) helps.
This is why your relationship keeps not working!
You are reading the wrong instructions, so no matter how well you follow them,
You are only going to create a mess and frustration for both of you.
Never take advice about women from a woman.
They know not what they do, or why.
ANY woman, including your mom and sister.
Your job, your fate actually, is to be the leader.
Whether you see this or are inclined to lead or not.
She will hold you to this standard,
and you will ultimately hold yourself to it too.
You must forge your own way and use your own compass,
and accept the results, whatever they are.
She'll fight you like a cat being baptized AND it's also what she deeply wants.
It's what YOU want too if you look closely and are honest with yourself.
When you trust yourself, you can find peace in the uncertainty inherent in the reality of life in general and relationships too.
Give up trying to predict and control reality.
Don't close your eyes and write "trust" fairytales,
Or paranoid stories either!
See reality, what is right in front of your nose.
Learn from it, and learn to flow with it.
Happy travels. :)
I've had a lot of relationships, some good, more bad.
This is really good advice, in every aspect.
First two I allowed it to drag on too much. The third I saw Snapchat messages from guys and I left the next morning and never returned. Growth with each experience LOL.
@@travis6694 life is all about lessons but make sure you learn something from the lesson
I just think women don't deserve the best version of me because they treated me like sh*t when I was at my worst version.
That’s just human nature for the vast majority of us unfortunately.
Most won’t admit it but we all do this, we may not be mean to the obese girl trying to talk to us, but we all know we aren’t going to be treating her the same as the 8-9 trying to talk to us for 99.9% of guys and girls.
I just found out my ex was a very flirty person. I was trying to make it work with her for 10 years. We didn't make it. I just don't want to put in the time or effort again. I'm not saying I don't trust women, but the consequences of putting in all this effort for something that will fizzle out is something I don't want to risk anymore. I don't know if I'll be ok being alone, but I know it will be better than trusting in someone else again.
This channel is a gold mine!
Found this channel 3 months ago, now this is all I listen to while I workout at the gym.
@@cole2561 I found it in December 2019 and have watched every video since!
@@gailan8393 Ngl, this channel has helped me create more sustainable relationships with all the important women in my life, especially my girlfriend.
@@cole2561 Very true it helped me get out of the rut of not understanding women's behavior in certain situations.
“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.”
How can you trust one when they put themselves in the perfect position to cheat. Crazy social media presence for attention, the constant need to go and hang in places where single people go to meet people, and constantly giving out snapchats or phone number to guys she deem potential backups. I see the interaction I have with other dudes' girls and its disgusting.
Agreed! It's not that they "don't trust women". They don't trust their ability to recognize a low-quality woman they shouldn't get involved with! We men a very visually stimulated. Sadly, a good-looking woman who behaves poorly is still a very attractive option to a lot of us. In the long term, good looks do not make up for a poor personality!
I became much more successful with relationships after I stopped salivating after the most physically attractive girl within my radius of vision. I started paying attention to girls who were nice and friendly to me. They made me feel good. The "hot" girls that ignored me or were rude to me, made me feel miserable. So, as a logical person, I avoided pain and pursued good feelings :)
i just dont trust women
I don't trust anyone, especially not friends or family.
So basically, treat every relationship casually?
🤔
on the contrary
Watching your videos for me was like being born again, there was so much stuff I missed in highschool and now I'm realizing.
I learned Real love is loving the female whether you're with her or not. All else is usually attachment and validation. A Buddhist perpective. This way you are always in an empowered place and see the person for who she is. Not your romantized version of who and what u think she is or want her to be. You can't give what u don't have, so the love/ care you have for a girl should just be an extension of what u already are. A compliment to your life and Not the main focus. Why men need to work on themselves to be their best selves. Peace.
In this day and age Finding a real connection with a loyal, genuine emotionally available smart woman is drinking soup with a fork. Handsome, rich, confident, high value etc will only get you so far. Dating and social media is just toxic now
You can trust anybody to behave according to his/her level of conciousness - Eckhart Tolle.
"She's not yours, it's just your turn"!
I feel like people who keep repeating that saying have nothing special to offer which is why no woman sticks with them.
@@ConstipatedTroll I feel like people who keep denying that are paying for milk that everyone else gets for free.
@@upstar21t that made no sense.
@@ConstipatedTroll TheirTube is censoring my response to you, even though it has zero profanity in it. I therefore can't explain what I mean better, due to this censorship. I'm so happy these are my last months on this pathetic platform...
Hey Alexander, sort of unrealated, but have you seen the video "Jill Soloway on The Female Gaze | MASTER CLASS | TIFF 2016"? It's really interesting. I don't agree with some of her points, but her description of the female gaze is interesting.
These tips are GOLD, I wrote them down in my notebook. Thank you Alexander.
They are all entirely predictable and patently generic in nearly every iteration.
Alexander. I have been watching your videos for awhile now but I believe this is your best one yet. Thank you so much for your insight and ability to break down this issue. I believe rule 9 is the most underrated of those rules. My ex wife was doing all kinds of toxic things in relationship including constantly talking to other dudes, I never sought outside help because I didn't want to change the way people looked at her, but ultimately it led to me tolerating abhorrent behavior for far too long and crushing my self esteem. Get advice from those who care about you, reach out. It doesn't make you weak
Tbh I don’t trust anyone. I’m the only person i can ever really trust and rely on.
Exactly! Finally someone who gets it!
shame for me is that sometimes I can't even trust myself :(
Came in the world alone leave the world alone
Your content is gold. Thanks.
This video distills so many great lessons into such a compact space. A real gem.
I’m married but had red color blindness when dating as most of my friends but now I’m treated and just see red everyday hoping to change to green for a fast way out.
I only disagree with no6.
A man with standards cannot have options. It is impossible.
Mathematically speaking, there are only very few high quality women. Those are in high demand and are therefore usually not 'on the dating market'. If you raise your standards (which is normal if you improve yourself), you limit the pool of potential dates exponentially.
The ONLY way to have options is to date low quality women. Period.
Just stop looking for a relationship, people. Let the relationship finds you.
bluepilled
@@mastermati773 if you try to understand the real context of my comment, mate, it says "relationship". So it doesn't automatically equate to sex. You can have sex with someone but it doesn't mean you are already in relationship. A man should never refrain from having sex when opportunity is there, but looking for a relationship to have some kind of partner in life is something a real man should never seek. You only accept it when it is hand over to you.
2Pac for life!
@Mark Lane doesn't matter. I have money, I'm not bad looking, I have a good job and a car. That didn't even matter when I kept showing high interest to a woman I knew before. Theyll eventually punish for that. Let them come or leave at their own will.
@Mark Lane 2Pac here is right. There are some men, very rare, who realized that they don t care about social status, about having a partner no matter what, just because everybody does so etc. And they are also succesfull enough that they can accomplish almost everything without a partner. Me for example, I only want a person to spend quality time with and who appreciates me for who I am. Like Makaveli I am succesfull, I have almost everything, but I noticed that nobody cares when you are not showing this or you are not accepting people material interests ( people who want to partner with you for wealth or other reasons).
That s why I prefer not to play the game the way most people play it. I don t need a woman in my life, I am happy single. If the right woman for me shows up in my life, so be it, if not, searching your whole life and putting effort just to have a realistical small chance to find someone of high quality that is very rare out there, is not worth it. Invest in yourself. You ll gain much more. My 2 cents.
You can't trust anybody...news flash.
It’s not about trusting yourself to have boundaries for most. It’s trusting they won’t change at the drop of hat further into the relationship after you invested time, money and feelings into them. That or you have to take the approach of living detached which limits the amount of depth of connection.
Dude your videos it actual fact should be at the top of youtube, so much good advice to the young men and the old and burnt.
This video should be viewed by every male approaching adult life...precious lessons that could save your time, health, money and direct you towards a better future. Too bad school and family neglect to teach such crucial knowledge. Glad that in this age you can reach valuable content like this without effort...as soon as your first bad experience ends and you realize there is something important to learn from it. This video is an example of the perfect tool to better understand and navigate reality.
Also remember, with point 10 its pretty much never ending. Fixing your issues is something that you will always be working on throughout your life. However, of course there should be a point where you are confident in who you are because you have fixed the most urgent and important issues that you had.
I used to be so naive, giving and trusting but after being used, lied to, manipulated, gas lighted and cheated on multiple times I became less and less trusting in each relationship.
I love you so much. I just recognized all my mistakes after seeing your videos. I’m gonna watch every single one of them and then watch your patreon videos aswell.
8. Enforce Consequences for Negative Behavior. Some concrete examples would be good so we have a guide for appropriateness.
Most people don't think deeply enough on this topic. In my experience, it rolls over into work as well. People take a job and feel trapped because they don't have any control... It all comes down to contracts and how to negotiate. This doesn't have to be a formal process, it just needs to be about making your needs clear and getting them to acknowledge that they will be met.
Imagine you're buying a car. You hand over the cash but the other person doesn't give you a receipt and says they'll mail you the title. None of us would do this when buying a car but many do it in relationships and career moves everyday. I run a business and I negotiate terms for every client I work with. I put those terms in a contract and we both sign it. There are consequences if either of us break these terms... Doesn't it make sense I should do the same going into a relationship?
One of YOUR BEST VIDEOS THANK YOU DUDE FOR YOUR WORK!
I’m over 50, and I can say I know myself enough to trust myself and my judgment, and, nowadays it is hard to trust any one of thee.
Going out with, “dating” ? Sure.
Commitment ? Well, the trouble just isn’t worth.
You can either love women or understand women.
I only trust the highest of high 🙏
Word man! I used to...but not anymore. I don't truss it
Ah, and here I was thinking how you would need to record your entire life and have it saved in order to not need to trust women to not throw a false allegation at you twenty years later
women can hurt you YEARS later ! ( men never do the false accusation game....BIG difference between the sexes ! )
@@alexbrisbane3050 thats coz some men have honour
I only trust individuals who have demonstrated trustworthiness. I don't trust or distrust entire groups.
Thank you! :)
Same here individual minds are not group think.
Great advice! Thanks for this one
Alex this is video is top notch. your work gets better and better since I started to follow you. My sincere congratulations.
Good advice, but you're still putting too much emphasis on today's women being worth the risk. If you were going skydiving and the instructor said that 60% of the parachutes don't work would you still jump out of the plane? What about 50%? 30%? 5%? Of course you wouldn't. And with all the life changing potential false allegations of sexual assault at the drop of a hat and all the negative repercussions of just even being accused, why would any man risk getting involved with women today let alone cohabitate or have kids...
You can trust women... to be women.
It's the woman in you that makes you wanna play this game.. (Neil Young, Cowgirl in the sand)