INTJ | What it's REALLY like being an INTJ | Description vs. Reality
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- What it's REALLY like being an INTJ | Description vs. Reality
In this video I share what it's really like being an INTJ. I discuss the personality descriptions and how they correlate to reality. Be sure to check out my other INTJ videos: INTJ female spouse & INTJ female emotions 😍
Are INTJs better or worse than the Myers Briggs descriptions make us out to be??
1:06 Descriptions
VS
4:57 Reality
By the end of the video, I hope you'll feel understood as an INTJ and feel the love
Remember to watch the video all the way to the end as I’ll be sharing some personal details!
If we're just meeting, I'm Alexis and I help introverted planners 😍add risk-taking to their repertoire in business 🔥I basically spent my life following the rules and doing the right thing - and it turns out risk taking is all that I needed!! Just a little more confidence and your bomb self is OUT 💣
Love ya babe xx
Alexis Kingsley
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✔RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO:
🎥 INTJ Emotions
• INTJ Female Emotions |...
🎥Myers Briggs from start to finish | What are cognitive functions??
• Cognitive Function Sta...
🎥Get out of comfort zone loops
• GET OUT OF YOUR COMFOR...
✔WHAT TO WATCH NEXT:
🎥5 Things Introverts need to hear [and actually do] in 2020
• 5 Things Introverts Ne...
🎥Mindset of high achievers
• THE MINDSET OF HIGH AC...
🎥This Video: • INTJ | What it's REALL...
🔊 #intjchallenges #intj
Don't we all want the mindset of high achievers?? 👊
Tip: listen to "Busyhead" by noah kahan, as an INTJ I felt really understood by that song
"All I really Want" Alanis Morrisette
I guess the "loneliness" creeps in occasionally but most of the time I enjoy reading/learning/working solo at home.
There is so much joy in learning!
Exactly! Or just go to a coffee shop, find the quietest place or somewhere behind or near the wall... And learn! Read! Focus!
@@AlexisKingsley I’m mentally an INFP but emotionally an INTJ
@@BabyGirl-uw5uz That is the weirdest thing to wrap my head around all day lol
@@AlexisKingsley actually im an entj-intj to confirm it. i love attention,, im narcissistc, prideful, blunt, stubborn, intolerant and also logical, ambiverted. love loneliness, always seeking answers, good at lying and i sponge up knowledge and im more insightful than entjs
also i always believe im right and im arrogant about my vieews and perspectives and i make decisions based off facts and sometimes im honest to a fault when im just trying to tell someone the cold hard truth.
im more critical than the average person, i cant stand rules that serve no purpose and stop freedom, im not good at getting along with people unless i fake it, sometimes i kinda switch between intj and entj if its thats even possible
mbti is a tool, not a rule. i think people should use it to better themselves & improve their lower functions.
Great words 👏👏
Wise 👍👏
Yep, the "i" in MBTI stands for indicator. It never professed to be anything else.
People who see things as black, and white, and only understand concepts involving rigid rules seem handicapped to me. Few things fit within that ideology. I agree with working on lower functions. Doing so really opens doors.
I feel like its pretty easy for me to make friends, I can match people’s sense of humour and am sarcastic but often feel like I’m not really being who I am. It’s really easy after not seeing a friend for awhile to completely drift away because I expect them to start the conversation or invite but also never tell them that I like hanging out with them. And don’t ever talk about something deeply personal or vulnerable so there’s no emotional bond it’s easy to cut off.
That's SO true about not telling them I like hanging out with them. Love the thoughtful comment!! Thanks!! I also like what you said about it being easy to make friends, but at the same time feeling like it's not you - I feel that for sure.
maybe it just us trying to adapt to our surrounding
prolly bc we are often that analytic to know how to do ppl
This comment was so close to home it's downright aggravating 😂. Being sarcastic, witty, and being able to match people's humor is sometimes all a person needs. I'm so good at that yet if I've never had a deep conversation with someone I feel no actual connection whatsoever and sometimes secretly resent them for even talking to be to begin with. Why would you talk to me if all we were going to do was shoot the breeze? It's tough cuz I'm actually pretty sociable but the energy it exerts eventually wears me down and I can't hold up the act for long before the other person realizes I'm not "like them". thanks for letting me vent, good day! 😅
Exactly some time i
Adjust for two reason its either to cope up with the people around me or they can keep up with me its really hard when you need to adjust its like being another persona 😂
INTJ: I'm always looking forward. My cognition is always focused on 2 years down the line, 5 years, 14 years, 20 years. I often get trapped in daydreams where I find myself strategizing exactly where I want to be in the future and how I'll get there. I waste a lot of time thinking instead of being productive.
Being INTJ has me being locked in my mind; it's a bit harder for me to socialise compared to normal ppl. If you have bad mental health, being trapped in your mind is torture. If your mind is healthy, your mind can still be your biggest distraction, alongside your greatest asset. It can trigger anxiety unnecessarily. It's times when I'm not thinking where I'm at my happiest. My biggest fear is not living up to my potential and falling short of my personal expectations.
This is the most spot on thing I’ve seen from another INFJ
@@risingright367 ikr lol
It’s like I have all these huge plans I just don’t know how to go about them sometimes. I feel trapped in my own mind, but once I go with it and figure it out there’s no looking back
@@risingright367 Meditate and disconnect yourself from your thoughts. Realise that your thoughts aren't you
Shah Zad You will never live up to you potential and your expectations. You’re an INTJ, you think in perfection terms. But life’s trickier than what our minds conjure up and will hit you on the head to ground you. Then your daydreams will get a more realistic tone and you’ll start achieving.
I never initiate anything either. However, no one really invites me anywhere so I end up doing nothing haha.
hahahaha same
@@AlexisKingsley I want to be invited but i dont want to go. - INTJ
@@DoomLegion83 lol that's so true!!
This is why I game. You can do "social" stuff without going anywhere, and when you need a break you can just hit mute.
Lazix VonBerg Hmm, that’s not really socializing though...
"at best people don't understand us, at worse people misunderstand us" this right here. I don't know a single person, including my family that I feel like they understand me. We feel lonely and never fit into society, and yet we don't care about living to societies expectations and standards. So many contradictory things going on in our heads that I sort of understand why people don't understand us.
Couldn't agree more, as a younger INTJ, late teens, early twenties, I felt isolated and I consoled myself by saying that I was so superior to other people. I've moved on from that now, but a lot of INTJ's seem to be stuck in that mindset. So many INTJ forums are full of jaded people, who go on about how much better they are than everyone else, and how they could "be a super villian" if they really wanted to. A lot of these people seem to focus on their "superiority" as a way to ignore their shortcomings. Very few actually have their lives figured out, those that do usually aren't the jaded types.
Me too. I'm 32 and very disillusioned by society and jaded by having to "fake" extroversion.
It’s funny that when you’re talking you also like to look up and around almost like you’re looking for the words you want to say in your head or out of the air. As an INTJ, I do that all of the time too 😂
I'm an INTJ and I'm never lonely. I actually enjoy my self and relax trough solitude.
Me too😃
My INTJ loneliness is less about enjoying myself in solitude and more about having no one to have intellectual conversation with because they rarely care about actually diving into subjects as deep as I would
Fully agree when you say some who label themselves as INTJs get too wrapped up in themselves and become narcissistic.
It’s a personality, not your destiny. Don’t let it get to your head.
Totally agree!
INTJs by nature have narcissistic tendencies. With or without the discovery of one’s personality type, and change to several fundamental frames that shape the way one sees himself as a result of this discovery, I believe INTJs would still have this shortcoming. Narcissism is not something that can be activated from reading an ego-boosting description.
@@AkireMaru that’s an unhelpful lie.
That is the same thing as saying that ESTPs and ENTPs are sociopaths.
It’s simply not true.
@@AkireMaru No INTJs are not narcissistic unless they are really really good at something, but at that point they are just saying a fact. I think so many INTJs are mistyped xstjs that use this personality type to lick their own balls. Even younger INTJs will do this.
INTJ here, it's nice to see another female INTJ, you seem chill and nice and I can relate with this, I was not expecting that so, new sub!
"are you willing to learn and suck at the beginning" thank you for this. 100 times thank you. I'm in a bad place right now this was a nice unexpected trigger.
I was really insecure about being a true INTJ, but now I see that I actually am!!! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Ugh yes, when you said you extrovert your worst qualities. Yes!!! I can come off hard and unmoving with my opinion but they can change every day with new information I felt that!!!!
People often say to me “don’t you get lonely by yourself all the time?” ... I usually respond in some short polite way to end the conversation but what I’m really thinking is “yes but I feel even more lonely surrounded by other people because I’m forced to acknowledge that I’m different and that most people don’t understand me, sometimes it leaves me feeling jealous that I can’t just live in the moment care free and have fun without having to analyze everyone else’s actions and words but I can’t and while they’re talking to me all I can think about is how moronic and wasteful they sound because they’re spending so much time and energy focusing on who won a football game that they played no part in when they could be spending that time and energy on improving themselves which leads me to the conclusion that they’ve wasted so much of their own time and energy on the subject they are now attempting to waste mine”
I wanna give every INTJ out there a digital hug right now. You are doing good!
I can relate to most of this. Although being the more typical INTJ male, I'm not sure how being a woman interacts with the type for you. My biggest suggestion I can give for INTJs to counter some of the problems you're talking about is to really take care of yourself physically, and make it a priority that you don't neglect. It's not easy, but if you can turn it into a self-actualization effort, something to work on and perfect, instead of just a boring chore, you can get there. Te and Se are areas where we can excel, while Ni leaves us misunderstood, and Fi is our Achilles' heel. The soft underbelly. I honestly don't know how to deal with Fi issues. But Se is something we just neglect, and shouldn't. And working on it has positive effects that carry over to the other areas, making you more confident and relaxed in social situations, and forcing you out of your head, where INTJs can get trapped in negative ways. And maybe if you're more attractive and confident, you can find that special someone a little bit easier, instead of wallowing in nerdy Fi hell shoveling in ice cream. (Not talking about Alexis here - you look quite nice already, and I think that's an engagement ring on your finger, so you aren't doing too poorly).
What you say about open mindedness is completely right. We spend hours theorising and perfecting our principles and positions. When we then bring those out to the world we often don't actually present the reasoning and theorising we went through to reach that conclusion. We are then often forced to rationalise and explain it to people which is difficult, annoying and time consuming. Sometimes wish I could just let someone into my head lmfao
One of my best friends is an INTJ. This helps me to get perspective on what he is really feeling. Thanks for putting this together, Alexis.
That's so great to hear! Thanks Devin!!
Being an INTJ is essentially being a living embodiment of the yin-yang symbol--not in the sense of masculinity and femininity --rather in the sense of projective and receptive traits...seeing the best and the worst simultaneously and attempting the ride the ebb and flow of all that energy. It's complicated and I think we thrive on that chaos that we strive to organize.
I think I'll check out your video about emotions. I tend to be like a volcano--everything seems calm, but periodically it erupts--for good or ill.
I've always resonated with ideas of yin-yang, two contrasting and paradoxical perspectives combined into one.
I’m also an INTJ and I cannot agree with what you said more. Definitely going to check out your other videos!
FunkyCrazyMonkey101 thanks!!! What other videos are you interested in? ❤
Every type has its own inner demon, the 8th function. Ours is if i remember correctly is Si, tell me if this sounds familiar. When I am at my worst and most destructive, all my memories of failure boil to the surface and take control. All my memories of shame, disgust, and loathing dominate me, and all i can think about is how much i hate failure. INTJs are defined by this. Our inner demon makes us better in many ways, but it is a demon that most are unfamiliar with.
This is probably the most relatable INTJ video I've ever seen
I agree, been going down the youtube rabbit hole and this was very refreshing to see, especially the imposter syndrome. I know this is older video but keep up the good work!
Imposter Syndrome and being misunderstood really is something I struggle with. Many employers seem afraid of me and so do others socially. Quite often I get the sense that I don't belong on Earth in this time in history, especially when nobody seems to want to listen to different thoughts, views and opinions. People seem ultra-sensitive these days and dealing with their outbursts is draining to me. - INTJ Australian Male
Same here...I have three words describing what people think of me...hate, fear, ignore. Hate I can see things they can't. Fear that they don't 'know' (or can't figure me out) me, that and infamous death stare. Ignore because I rarely feel the need to speak. Sad life sometimes to be so lonely. Really, I like being alone, but I still get lonely...such a confusing contradiction.
@@joshpatrick8809present your self better become more friendly approach more people about their interests, strengthen your social skills it’s hard but possible also strengthen your shadow function life will be different
Well, I don't agree that everybody is special. If everybody is special, then nobody is special, because being special becomes a norm, and loses it's meaning. We just should stop thinking, that "being special" is something good or bad. Your personality type is just another trait, like your height, your iq, or your hair color. It doesn't make you better human by itself. What can make you truly special, is how good you would use your traits, how much of a potential you have would you use. Potential itself is not something to be proud of by any means, as it is simply a gift. Trying to be "normal" is also not a way to go. Everybody has a different mission, and different capabilities, so why should they act the same? It's a waste and tragedy, that so many people are giving up their potential for the sake of being a copy of other people, to "fit in". And one more thing. I don't agree on the statement, that INTJ hate traditions and rules. It just depends, what traditions and what rules. If certain traditions are rational and healthy, and if they give benefits greater than the cost of following them, I'm in. If it makes me an ISTJ or something in eyes of other people, i don't really care. The same goes for rules. If they are well thought and give benefits to people following them, I'm not going to break them just for fun. It all comes to one question: What is more rational thing to do?
Well said.
Spoken like a true intj 🤣
We are open minded, but I think it's very difficult for that part of us to shine through, because other people are naturally unaware that by the time we reached a conclusion about something, that conclusion is no longer an opinion, it's a conclusion to which we arrived by carefully pondering through logical and critical thinking. One simple way I have to explain this to people with other mtbi personality types is this: "The question you are asking is a question I already asked myself, and already found an answer to"
I actually got chills. The way you said every single thing I have always thought and experienced. it was like looking in a mirror. I have never had somebody relate so much, so thank you for talking about this!
This is so accurate, I'm so glad I found this video. I think being a young female intj can lead to another feeling of being misunderstood when it comes to blending into societal standards. It can be hard when the "stereotypical intj" that is depicted in tv shows, books, and other fictional media is shown as being cold and closed off- which can definitely be true but based on external pressures I know I have personally felt pressured to be more talkative or "extroverted" when engaging with others. Growing up I would let my Te show significantly more than any of my other functions, especially in school, so I often felt (and still feel today even) misunderstood and typed more like an ENTJ, because I never really share my Ni functions with the outside material world. It's so frustrating feeling misunderstood, and this video captures it well. Thanks for making this!
Very nice to get an inside look at INTJ. As another, I can relate to a lot of it. Always great to watch your videos. The overall analysis and brilliant abstraction on any of the types comes shining through so strong. 💙
im so glad you made this video bc i always saw those articles that say all good things about intj and at first i was happy but then i felt like since i wasn't completely like that, then it must mean im faking being an intj so this video and the comments as well really helped me feel like im not alone so thank you sm
I have finally found my tribe! Thanks for sharing, it is refreshing to hear from a fellow female INTJ alien unicorn. I have definitely been through the slump where I’m not achieving anything. I feel like things are finally climbing back up again with my music even if my other pursuits have tanked. Maybe this is why I jump around hobbies so much. If I don’t have something motivating me to pour my energy into it now then I end up stuck in the mental planning mode. Or I binge books and UA-cam all day, sucking in information and creative inspiration until something finally sparks. Anyway, I subscribed.
I'm so glad! Totally relate!
Ah so relatable 😌
This is so raw
Omg every part of this is soooo accurate.
Great job!
I think the "special" aspect of an INTJ is that our brains work different than other people. Because of our low representation in the population, an inordinate amount of value is placed on our cognitive ability based on the relative scarcity. On the issue of "success"... success is such an arbitrary term. People throw it around a lot and try to use it to shame people into conforming to a perceived ideal. When in reality, you can define success as just about anything you want. You don't have to be rich to be financially successful. As long as you make ends meet and can pay all your bills.... that's success. You don't have to have thousands of friends to have a successful social life. I have 3-4 good friends, and some dozen or so acquaintances through those friends that I interact with socially. That's really all I need / want socially so I call that success. INTJs typically have specific areas of interest that they're aggressively nerdy about. In a case where those specific interests don't line up with societal values, they can be seen as less successful. However in those specific fields the INTJ is most likely highly competent and knowledgeable. I guess my point is what is your metric for success? If you're an INTJ you have A-typical cognition, it doesn't make sense to me to value metrics that don't align with your personal values and priorities.
Lazix VonBerg Having 3 or 4 good friends and other acquaintances is actually the standard for most people, so in that regard you don’t seem to have an INTJ problem.
I think I understand what you mean about the impostor syndrome, the INTJ I know hates himself for not being Nikola Tesla yet. He knows he has a lot of potential, everyone who knows him thinks he's the smartest person they know, but the pressure to practically save the world and inability to communicate his ideas properly to the right people keeps him in this frustrated limbo.
I have always felt alone and alienated my entire young life even before learning about what type I am, I can say that this video has helped me understand myself a little more. Thank you.
I'm an INTJ too and I agree with you. Expectation/ potential vs reality is so hard. Btw, you are one of the few on the internet being completely honest about what is it like to be an INTJ. Thank you so much for this video.
Thank you Gabee! That means so much!!
@@AlexisKingsley You are welcome! Kisses from Brazil :)
It's beneficial to hear your point of view :) can relate a lot (intj)! Thank you for sharing
Wow i've never felt so seen, thank you for this video and normalizing the INTJ personality
Wow it’s like you jumped in my head and said what I was thinking And experience on a regular basis. Thanks for making the video
The hardest thing I had to face as an intj was finding out about this description of my personality type. Being an ni dominant is no breeze. I had to work so hard to integrate Te and Fi into my personality and finally make sense of the fruitless chaos Ni caused. After working that hard and developing some positive INTJ qualities I found out about the mbti.
It undermines the work I've done already finding out it's only a natural step in the life of a INTJ and reading about this amazing personality which I can relate to but still require a tremendous amount of effort to achieve.
So glad I found this channel !
Well timed find, you voiced my fi very clearly, thank you.
Intj-t male on the verge of opening and managing a bar/restaurant. So happy I found your channel. You got a new subscriber. 👍🏽
Real INTJs see our flaws just as much as our capabilities because of our innate need to always improve
Ugh feeling misunderstood when you know you are being completely and totally honest and direct is probably the thing that's drove me closest to rage.
yup always feel alienated, also embedded on objectivity even though we're trying to be on other moccassins and what turns out, we step into perspectives more as angles and factors of points
The way you dress is the typical intj look
Like i mean the sweater and comfortable sweatpants(it feels like very comforting to be alone)
and the coffe(heaven)
I really liked the book "personality isn't permanent" I am a copywriter working freelance and the book helped me get through making sales calls and networking when necessary, something that is definitely not super enjoyable or in my comfort zone. It's alright I guess, the more you do it. I was also Typed as an INTJ.
As a fellow INTJ, I want to hug you right now. I understand everything.
Sometimes i feel bad to my parents cause they expect me to be like everybody else and i can’t be that. I am not like everybody else cause I’m weird this is just the way i am, this is what i want to do. I actually don’t care with other’s opinions about me but my parents is important to me, so i just really they would accept me.
I’m an INTJ female. YES! Thank you for this!
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. I put alot of pressure on myself to change how others see me, as an INTJ-T.
I’m about to take a self growth journey across the country, as an INTJ who recently found MBTI after starting a business, I’d be willing to make a stop to purchase a session of your help for introverts taking risks in business haha
7:30 this hits close to home.. I'm trying to let myself out from the Ni-Fi loop by practicing to use my Te and I started to feel more relaxed also happier like I don't have any extra burden that I have to carry
I can't believe how u describe the path that INTJ's go through when they learn about the MBTI and their personality , believing that they're the best and after that they feel like a huge loser and how u also experiment that way, because I also feel that way at the moment
About being misunderstood - Out of all my family, my grandmother was the one who really got me. There is still a huge gaping hole in my heart left from her death. Thinking back, I remember my grandfather and how he was, and I wonder if the reason my grandmother got me was maybe because my grandfather was really like me, another INTJ. So after having been married to one for all those years, she recognized another one in her granddaughter. Whatever it was, I still miss her all these years later. It's so rare to find someone who gets you that losing even one is a massive loss.
Te function makes us look cold and robotic, but actually we have Fi function which makes our Ni-Fi world chaotic and emotional while we can't share with anyone.
Very relatable video. Sometimes I feel lonely, but sometimes it’s more me noticing that when I’m alone thinking it’s strange I don’t feel lonely. Kind of a double edged thing. Often I feel torn in 2 directions.
I was diagnosed with autism and I am shocked by how much feels similar to INTJ traits (which is my type). Thank you so much for your videos. I’ve found them to be helpful!
omg i relate to u sm. thank u for this
GREAT, GREAT, GREAT video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as a intj myself, i HIGHLY IDENTIFY with damn near the ENTIRE thing.
a suggestion on how to get out of the Ni/Te loop IS to let go of that little perfectionistic tendency that you probably have (i KNOW that >>>>>>> I
Thanks Ryan!!!! That's all so true!! I really had to get it into my head effort > skill
The thing I loved most about this video is that you just kept saying that "Its hard..." without crying or making your voice emotional. Most people would have caught their voice at these sentences.
I am a female INTJ.
IMO the overall most frustrating thing about being INTJ-T is having a strong creative urge and either being too anxious or scatterbrained to actualize it into existence.
Though this is some years later, I still would like to add to this. As an INTJ Chick myself I can only say that everyone in the whole world sucks at the beginning of something. We all need to learn, we all need to start in some things. But when I am really interested or really want to go for something. There comes a time when you got everything down, and you just smash the competition. Yeah you got high and lows, things to deal with. But then you get at it again, and you can do these extraordinary things. They can range from hey your doing a good or great job, to highly impressive. Or even shoot up into something almost Mythical, that leaves an impression of Awe. It really comes down to energy output.
Which comes down to working through the mess, others have thrown at us. But reality is, we are as these descriptions given to us. But not all of us have the energy output, to keep this up in results for the majority of the time. There are enough that do though. So we will just have to keep working on ourselves, and focus on what we do best. Taking enough rest, learning, getting nice results and live for the thrill of those moments when we kick ass.
It’s extremely frustrating, living in a world where people don’t think clearly, and take so long to think so poorly.
So many ppl are mistyped due to the mbti. I’ve examined so many self claimed INTJs on UA-cam. And many of them turned out not to be INTJs. I am an INTJ. And I have INTJ radar. I came here to expose you only to realize you are actually an INTJ. You are a textbook INTJ. Well done. My sister form another mother.
This is the best comment I've ever received hahahaha This made my day
Tell me this is a satire comment. Lmao
Matt _ she is an INTJ
You guys just might be ISFP....
She's an INTJ her eyes say it
I can't say I feel that I like being marginalized, it's just how things have worked out. We all have strengths and abilities and they all matter. You talk about "the loop", but that's actually not a good description of it. The Loop is a very bad place for INTJs to be because when we are in it, we are basically trying to numb ourselves through sensory indulgence, which is unhealthy for us. When stuck in a loop, we need to get out of the sensory, and back into our own heads. Easiest way to do this is grab a pen and paper, write down what we are feeling, write down what we want to be doing, then plot and write down a plan to get back to doing what we wrote that we wanted to be doing. Then we need to take the steps of that plan, and as we do so, we snap out of that loop.
Imposter Syndrome is a bad one, and basically, the way I deal with it, is to just focus on trying to do whatever task it is less wrong than I did it last time. Cool video. Looking forward to more.
By the way, I say write it down and I mean just that. The physical act of doing this makes a commitment, psychologically. It allocates resources to an idea. Yes, it's just a piece of paper, but it is something real and tangible that has just been dedicated to capturing and making that thought concrete. When you write it down you are making a promise to yourself and the paper that you must do these things. You can change your mind later and and cross them off the list if the acts become unnecessary later, but at the time you write them down they are necessary, and that process of recognizing and writing them down is actually very powerful, very centering, and it works. It doesn't carry the same meaning or value for other types, but if you are actually an INTJ, this tool should work for you.
You can even write down the steps involved with each task if you feel you need or want to, but remember that each step is another commitment. This is not bad thing, either, because as you go through the list and check things off, you pull yourself further and further out of the loop you were stuck in. You create actual attainable goals, you achieve them, and you get your ass back to being your badass self, which is exactly who you are not while stuck in the loop, and you know it, which is a big part of what got you into the loop in the first place.
No one believes that I’m an introvert. I think I keep connecting to people, making friends, in order to find someone like me. Someone who understands.
Yes
Personality is only one factor in determining behavior. While it is a dominating one there are many others. Such as mental illness/learning disabilities, physical disabilities, social standing as it relates to peer groups, cultural norms, financial status, etc. Depending on the situation we may be able do something about it, but often we can't or aren't even aware there is a problem. Speaking for myself, I've never felt like an imposter because I've been acutely aware that there are things holding me back and I've spent a long time finding out what they are so I can do something about them. I'm still working on the doing something about them part.
Being open minded isn't much of an asset when you are never wrong :)
I Can Definitely Get through the "Suck"
“Are you ready to suck at the beginning”, similar to how i learned to enjoy small talk. It aint my thing, but using my sarcasm and humour to get people to laugh is enjoyable and may lead to more interesting conversations in the future.
I was always so scared of being a psychopath because I always saw more of myself in villains than the heroes.
My partner is an INTJ. You're very similar. You both ramble on and on and I wish she was on UA-cam so that I can just pause her.
If you think you feel like an outsider now as an INTJ, wait until you're my age (56). That feeling of separation will grow exponentially as you gain more knowledge in whatever subjects you find worthy of investigation. At this point in life, I can't have meaningful conversations with almost anyone because they have not ruminated enough on anything. For the most part I don't care as I spend most of my time alone in my studio creating my art, but there are times when I want to talk about truly important elements of life and there's no one out there to converse with at my level. That's not arrogance, it's just I'm very different from almost everyone I know. I was lucky to find a great woman to share my life with thirty years ago and she understands me (for the most part).
Yes, I am 53 and very much relate to your words. I perceive that the world is living within one grand illusion and I am on the outside looking in - Consequently, I am seen, I believe, as both very intelligent, yet quite the alien by most which has mad me even more introverted over time, withdrawn from humans, in general.
@@tephveritas1750 Yes, the accelerated depth of introversion people like us experience can be difficult, but it's how we are able to live comfortably in a world of shallow thinkers. The irony is that I actually like people, in the general sense; I am not a misanthrope. I can easily engage with total strangers in public and often do because I am open to new experiences, but I find rather quickly that when conversations develop into a serious subject that my partner in the talk is simply unable to grasp the depth of the subject, and I am left feeling like an alien being on another plane of existence. This happens even with people I know, many of whom are of high intellect. I used to get angry when I was younger at these individuals, but as I got older I just felt frustration. I am at the point now where I am trying to just let it roll, and accept that I will never fully fit in to the myopic shallow pool where most others swim.
omg it’s like you’re saying exactly what i’m thinking especially with the imposter syndrome. what i think is difficult is to listen to your feelings without getting lost in your head because of overthinking. which i do. a lot. i also felt like i was mistyped because i “feel a lot” and these emotions interfere with my life but intj are supposed to be sooo calculated and cold. but once i looked at the functions it just made sense so i was like “why can’t i be like them if they’re so awesome?”
Same for me. I still can’t decide wether I am an Intj in an Ni-Fi loop or an actual Infp.
Nailed it. Love your work.
Thank you!!!!
Thanks you very much for this!
As a female INTJ, did you ever struggle with people pleasing, or thinking you have to present yourself a certain way in order to be accepted?
Yes! Socially I've found that Ni and Te don't tend to land very well - meaning the whatever topic I brought up will be instantly dropped by most people. However more people like Se and Fi, so I've found myself leaning on those functions in social situations, which is very draining and can only be done in short bursts. It's been easier now that I've found some people I can be myself with.
@@AlexisKingsley that's so interesting!! for me, Im still not good at using Te less without people assuming I don't understand things, especially at work. I also have problems where people of higher authority think I'm trying to steal their authority, so I've learned I need to utilize Fe and Ne more
@@user-eb6xu4pv8d That's interesting! I've neve worked on Fe or Ne before! How have you gone about it?
When you come up with something on the fly, and instantly start directing people to do your vision, but don't explain it. When it all comes together, people ask how you came up with it, and you lie "oh, we used to do it this way over at xxxx" when you literally just came up with it 10 seconds before you started pointing.
"the reason why I don't have any friends because I'm so awesome".... 😌
I can read your mind... INTJs can communicate with one another with just simple words or eye contact.
This girl just looked into my soul...
Spot-on 👌
Female INFJ here, I don’t feel lonely but frustrated sometimes that I can’t find a girlfriend that speaks my language or keep up with me....yet I don’t really initiate anything...because it’s disappointing to realize that I just wasted more time on small talks. I felt that way since I was a kid. So not that I enjoy being marginalized but I just am and I except. I was never shy so no one at work thought I was an introvert.
Good video, keep it up
Do any other INTJ‘s find it inexplicably difficult to listen and engage in other peoples explanations of the INTJ type and what its like to be one?
I am toying with the idea that INTJ could be the normal human state of consciousness, and other types could be aberration from normal. If this is true, then a developed INTJ describing their experience is simply describing life, and so there are of course going to be huge disparities in description due to extremely different circumstance / situations. I think in the simplest terms, INTJs are guided exclusively by reason, while all other types evade reason to some extent and are guided by, well, irrationality.
It is particularly difficult to be or feel misunderstood, while others either have this grandiose idea of what an INTJ is with inflated expectations, which you can make the mistake of holding as well, or the polar opposite where people wonder how much weed you had to smoke today because you are or appear to be quiet, slow, aloof, and don't speak their language. Just feeling downright misunderstood on all fronts is something I deal with pretty much all the time. And unfortunately it's logical that people like memes more than the complexity of reality or don't really share an interest or grasp the big picture with MBTI. And then there are others that are just more IMDB than MBTI with their interests and don't even care to understand why you're different, and just make silly judgments. Narcissism, misanthropy, loneliness, depression, apathy... Easy traps to fall into for an INTJ but I think the more mature among us realize this and want to be useful with this knowledge, and perhaps we can, particularly to other INTJs. And we should consider just how special our friends really are that understand us. And how powerful the right work ethic and perspective is. I really respect what you're doing with this YT channel. Thanks.
I completely agree with everything you said. I appreciate the well thought out comment! It took a real life crisis to get me out of apathy haha
Being an INTJ has become a fad. I’m going back to being an INTP.
That's a fad too. All the INxx are actually
well INTJs and INTPs are very far from being similar , I'm not sure that is easy ....
For me it has always impacted my self-esteem I think because whenever I do become doubtful of myself I start to feel lonely and not know how to confide in someone like other types naturally do. Maybe I should just move to a city full of INTJs lol
11:15 "Can you get through the suck to get to the great part?" - Alexis Kingsley
4:30 I dislike following rules, but I also dislike when other people don't follow the rules
I will become the biggest extrovert when I'm talking with people who share my interests lmao. I'll talk about business with my friend Thomas and it wakes me up even more than my morning coffee. Or I'll discuss politics with my girlfriend and spend half an hour to an hour debating with her. Anyone else, I just zone out. I don't fit the typical introvert description, I'm not exactly socially anxious (though I despise and often avoid phone calls with strangers and get nervous around new people), I just get bored by other people sometimes and feel like my time is being wasted.
Amazing video!
Thanks Mia!!
I’m an INFJ. What scares me a little bit about MBTI is if people go too far down the rabbit hole using it as a way to define themselves to others and claim attributes like “giftedness“ or “highly sensitive“, “genius“. If I see too much of a pattern of self importance then I tend to get a little overwhelmed with people whom I think are overvaluing themselves and a bit narcissistic. Everyone is special and unique no matter what personality type. We all have our gifts no matter how rare we fit in on a Myers-Briggs scale. I guess the caution is we shouldn’t wear it to proudly on our sleeves. If we’re using it too frequently we might want ask why so often?
Shoot, I have gotten no narcissistic phase from my discovery yet lol. I’m still dealing with the fact that this crap nailed me down so fundamentally… As an autistic Chemical Engineer who had severe childhood trauma, I thought I was just a ball of f*cked up and didn’t fit anything, and naturally saw psychology as pseudoscience… but go figure that thought process is a trait of an INTJ🤦♂️ I’m intrigued on knowing these predispositions as the key to personal growth now.
I'm also really into philosophy and ethics, and I'm trying to write a book that explores morals. In the same book, i wanted to express myself as the protagonist and mirror everything he says as how i would say it. After finding out that im an ISTJ and that its a meme to call oneself a god or to say that they have some sort of god complex was kinda jarring, because my main character is the god of justice. Not that i view myself as one of course.
For warhammer 40k fans: read about Perturabos, Konrad Curzes and Johnson's story.