For example, they say how are you? Instead of just saying “I’m doing well”. You can say, “I’m doing well, how have you been?”. This is a simple way to establish comfort in the beginning
Yessir my ex wishes me a happy new year but I haven't replied.she texted me saying she's happy I'm moving on that I deserve the best not just her. Please help me what should I do @@blacademic
He keeps reaching bc out with messages. First they were very angry bc I left him after ten years and two of him cheating. I know we both have strong feelings for each other but I couldn’t give more chances. I gave plenty. I left and he went back to the back burner. Now messaging is very much nicer than prior. What is he doing? Why? Broken hesrts etc etc etc. help. I’m so lost. I never stopped loving him. Three months ago we broke up.
@blacademic He keeps reaching out with messages in an app . First they were very angry bc I left him finally after ten years, and two of him cheating. I know we both have strong love feelings for each other but I couldn’t give more chances. I gave plenty. I left and he went back to the back burner. He claimed never cared she was a puppet and a “filler”. Now messaging is much nicer than prior messages. What is he doing? Why? Broken hearts etc etc etc. help. I’m so lost. I never stopped loving him. Three months ago we broke up. He’s sent other messages but now he’s sending the broken hearts 💔 and hearts ❤️ and I think feeling out if I’m seeing someone (I did over the spring of our last break up) and I am currently. However, I don’t know why he’s reaching out now? Is it for supply? He is not a full on Narc, but he is definitely showing traits (sine he was caught cheating). Is it even worth my time or energy ? I do love and miss him!
One year of no contact and we are getting back together slowly but surely! Almost lost my hope after making many mistakes, but kept on learning and developing myself and now she is iniciating almost every single conversation, we had a date and kissed many times, and we are having another date tomorrow! I imagine that this time it's going to be more than just kissing! NO CONTACT WORKS BETTER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE AND UNDERSTAND!!!!!
My ex girlfriend reached out to me three times after she broke up with me since September 2023. She mentioned that she misses me and i am still in her heart. She also wanted to meet. I refused her suggestions and i told her respectfully that i am not interested in meeting her and i wished her a good luck . Se people, when the relationship is broken then it’s broken. besides , when someone plays with fire she/he will get burned.. this chapter of my life is over and i am starting a new chapter with more wisdom, knowledge and confidence.. ..
My ex asked to see me!!! 🎉Your videos got me through the worst of the heart break! When I couldn’t sleep due to anxiety, these helped me so much! Now after no contact, I’m due to meet up with my ex tomorrow, for the first time since the break up and he initiated the meeting. I’m wondering what his reason is for wanting to meet up, but obviously I’m happy, but playing it cool and not having any expectations! Once again, thank you for creating so much great content and sharing your knowledge for free! ❤
If you have to get your 'ex' to show you that they still have feelings for you - they're not the 'one' and they're an 'ex' for a reason. Be cautious not to attract the people that hurt you, mistreated you, because youre inviting them to possibly do it all over again - if not worse, if they're a narcissist! Use logic and discernment over 'feelings' because they can make you see things that simply was not there! Good luck everyone.
@Shi-px2iw That's a good question, and it may seem baffling, or some might think I'm trolling! I'm not. I had this mindset once of thinking if I did this or did that, then perhaps things would be alright - I was wrong. Sometimes, people come back because they want to mess with you a little more for an ego boost it had nothing to do with them having feelings for you. That's just wishful thinking, and it's dangerous. It will set you up for more heartache and pain, and your growth will be compromised. If your ex wants you back , let them prove it! Let them grovel and apologise with sincerity for mistreating you. Let them show you they've changed or are committed to real change . Only then should we think about taking them back. People can pretend to have feelings- Let their actions show they mean it.
So what if I was the one that did the hurting and now realize my wrongs . She broke up with me and now I’m like shit maybe I didn’t treat her how she deserved after 5 years
No Merry Christmas , No Happy Holidays, no nothing after 5 years together. Not even a simple explanation . She won’t respond to me, won’t answer texts. My only answer at this point is no contact forever. The person that I loved the most and treated with love and respect is the one that hurt me like no other. Cruel and Sad…. I don’t understand her suddenly shocking behavior, but it appears that she no longer has any feelings for me so nothing left to do. People are strange. lol.
Kinda the same been with her for 5 year had an argument one evening even since then I've been staying at my mums met her outside work and she saod we needed to work on ourself ever since then nothing we have so much still connected up nothing
@@basicinfo2022 seriously, I asked her and would have gotten her the biggest ring imaginable. Her husband died young of a brain tumor and she was having emotional issues with getting married again. Afraid she couldn’t deal with another tragic loss. Things are not always as they seem.
Going through everything right now with my now ex fiancé. She said I wasn’t giving her the love and attention she needed over the last few months and she needs to work on herself because she’s unhappy with her life. I am doing my best to stay strong and to build myself up with the hopes she will see the value that I had one brought and have an abundance of confidence in myself for whatever happens. This is the worst pain I’ve ever been in in my life, but I’m becoming the strongest person I have ever been. It’s made me grow up and take a hard look at my life and my faults.
"she needs to work on herself" is one of these funny excuses women with low interest give. There's a new guy in her life and you"re her backup right now. Move on.
So tough 🙏 and raw at first. A couple months later of NC and I now feel relieved and don’t want him to break NC - I am at a place where I don’t want him back. Continuing my Training at the gym and outings with friends has made a world of difference.
Sounds like she's an 'Avoidant '. And I think you've learnt valuable lessons, and that's the key to our relationships, reflection, and understanding where we went wrong and fixing the flaws within us. Although, truthfully, there might not be any. Sometimes the problem is with 'them', not us, and I think it's important to bear that in mind. I wish you well on your journey and all the best. I hope you find everything that you're looking for.
After 7 months of absolutely NC, no bday, no Christmas, no NYE nothing, crickets. I dont think he ever had any feelings whatsoever for me. It is what it is.
Man, I love watching your videos. My ex and I split last July because of anger and lack of communication skills on my part. We got back together back in November/December last year but the issues were still there since I didn't get to the root causes of my issues so she split again 2 weeks ago and back to square one. Thankfully, her leaving again forced me to really dig deep and find the roots of my issues and traumas preventing me from opening up and I am now in the process of healing. Hopefully I can get one more chance with her, just leaving her alone like she asked and working on myself while seeing her kids that I love like they were my own whenever I get the chance
She also reaches out every couple days or so to give me random updates on the kids, if I coukd pick them up that day or other things going on in her life. The the only time we communicate nowadays is when she reaches out with those texts or random ig videos, just focusing on my healing and taking care of myself to be the best man I know I am and no longer allowing traumas & ptsd to run my life or emotions. No more being stuck in survival mode. I plan on booking a 1on1 with you as soon as funds and bills allow it haha
Coach, you have no idea how much you have been helping me through this 2nd round of no contact. I fucked up. I chased. I begged. I cried. I apologized. I spilled my guts out. I handled the breakup way too emotionally. We both reslly hurt each other. No success. She blocked me. She unblocked me. I started to live my life. She reached out on instagram relating to some artwork she did (taking it off my page, not realizing it was hers). We had some very toxic moments, especially my own doing. Her mom is a toxic barrier too. I know we still love each other, but she might be fully done, she's showing some signs of the opposite. I might be in denial or I might be realistic. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. NC round 2, day 15. Its easier than round 1, but its still difficult. Im staying strong.
You guys defently take some time man , Had the Same . And still have .. Right Know we need the time . In the end After a Long time the toxic moments will be forgotten . In the end you guys will think about the Great times . And those Beautiful Moments catch you from to time Even more . So there is a big Hope But time is your best friend Right now . Mine too .
@reggaekingz7143 I appreciate that response. That's where I'm leaning towards. That made me feel better no matter what the outcome will be. Ill give her space and time, while i work on myself more. Thank you.
I have insomnia . It’s been 3 days since we break up or took a break I am not sure. You help me so much. Thank you! I hope everything works out for us. I love him more than anything and anyone else
I appreciate you fam, I learned a lot today and we haven’t completely broke up yet but it’s been me keeping things together trying to hold on scared to go no contact but next time she mentions us not doing this anymore I’m going to allow that time and space
It worked He contacted me Flirted the usual he’d been in a relationship and picked her over reconciling with me Told me it was just a rebound and he will be willing to work hard on being with me
Thanks for the great vid and for your reply on my other comment, Coach! Since I'm dealing with an ex-gf with avoidant attachment: Now that contact over text and in-person has been re-initiated (by her), only 5 weeks since our breakup, what frequency of contact do you suggest? I got a surprisingly heart-warming Happy New Years text (even though it wasn't until mid-day Jan 2nd). I want to sprinkle in some comfort since I know it's so hard for her to be open emotionally, but I need to see more effort on her part to text and to set up future meet ups. (She's quite attractive and is used to being pursued by men, so I imagine her doing the pursuing will be foreign for her).
After our last interaction Dec 10th.. we decided to no longer see each other.. I refuse to be an option. Haven’t heard from him since.. I’m focusing on me.
After 3 years she told me she wants to focus on her son, which is awesome Told me she wants to be friends. We did have some bad confrontation after her decision of just friends.
I went 10 months no contact. She left late 2022 and in September 2023 she called me and we talked for about a week until she ghosted me…. That hurt a 2nd time since the break up. I kept no contact and then in November she calls me nonstop one morning. Me knowing it’s BC she needed help I didn’t answer her. I called her back a few hours later and we talked it out and she was feeling better. I didn’t expect our conversation to go anywhere so I said my goodbyes again. Anyways last week she called me again asking for a favor of course, I said no. Then that same week she texted me to hang out and we’re meeting this Saturday!! Never expected her to contact me again let alone go out since she left. I have low expectations and just playing it by ear to see what her intentions are. Just want to say thank you coach for all the help 🙏🏼
7 months together, talking for hours and hours a day when we weren’t together. Ghosted me for 6 weeks saying his mental health was struggling… then started contacting me again saying he loves me, I’m amazing and sees a future for us but needs to work on himself… then after 6 weeks of talking again, he cut me off, saying the pressure of knowing I was waiting was too much and because of our feelings for each other we can’t be friends. 2 days later he’s in a relationship with a girl 15 years younger. I’ll never understand men.
I was married for 28 yrs to my best friend. We have been divorced now for 13 yrs. He filed after repeated affairs sadly! However, we moved our lives on. He moved to another country and I suppose is involved into another relationship. We have two son’s that I have spoken with him periodically about. Recently, I have dreamed about him, had feelings of wanting him back and restoring our relationship. We have NEVER talked about fixing our relationship. If he feel something he has not share any feelings with me. I did send him a text message, letting him know that he is importantly to me and that I was thinking about him. HE NEVER RESPONDED BACK! When we talk, he always ask me how I’m doing? I’m very friendly and respectful towards him, but I DO NOT EXPRESS ANY INTEREST! He told me once that, “ OUR DIVORCE WAS THE WORST THING THAT HE EVER EXPERIENCED!” I know that he cares for me but not sure WHY HE NEVER COMMUNICATES IT? Any suggestions?
Together 4 years, yoday is day 13 no contact. I miss him a lot, but he has to come forward having looked as his life. I really hope he does, but if he doesnt i know i get do better next time. Which is a long way in the future. Im not rushing.
I've done no contact twice and got her back both times. I used the time to work on myself, got in the gym changed my body and went to counseling to help heal the internal because I had baggage to unpack but here's the thing, the more I worked on myself the more I saw how incompatible we were. This time around I left her and I know in myself it's done, I want and need more than she can give
@@karissakarma2997 of course, I have a had a tiff before which we gave eachother space for a few days (so that it’s not really a break up) and a text here and there but the first time of NC she messaged after a week but this second NC had been nearly a month so far, I have made a list which has helped me of things I gave to her life over 5-6 months which has helped me understand my value. I pray she comes back asap. I wish you good luck in your situation.
I am new to your channel and I am really appreciating your perspective… Sometimes it’s slightly confusing though when I’m trying to follow along and then all of a sudden we’re talking about a man trying to get a woman back and then I’m like wait what
last night wrote to me father of my ex, wished me for New Year, tonight wrote me my ex, she told me when I will go to Germany xd and told me to text her when I will go to Germany lol. THEY COME BACK!!!, after 6 months
I'm in no contact since the 27th, I started the convos beforehand, broke up 2 months ago, and left with no contact when she left other than get your belongings, and me reminding her when she was at her dad's which was the start of December. Also me being told she cheated, which she didn't cheat, which I know was a mistake now, but I wasn't overly freaindly. Had a face to face as well that chat was 1 hour and her dad called her and she had to go. But I said bout mates, and she said yes and openly said she missed me and that she has to work on herself. She also said to me that she fully was really struggling with the whole break up she looked ruff as well. We had 2 convos since I started them but then just stopped didn't say happy new year, and all convos I ended after 3 texts cuse I took your advice
It's best to let them go on about there business if they are in a rebound relationship because they made up in there mind who they would hurt and leave and who they would chose to be with and not hurt . Why would someone want to attract an ex back with a rebond in a situation like that if they have been dumped ? The ex who was the dumper has to be the 1 to make the first move in no contact and put forth effort to make things right and be honest to the one they broke up with and broke there heart . It's about the person who got dumped and haveing love and respect for there ownself and not getting hurt anymore and moveing on . We all regret things , make mistakes and relize that nobody is perfect . People can be forgiven when people get hurt and trust is broken but it takes time if people work hard at there relationship and have love and respect for each other again and really mean it . But in some cases some people are not ment for each other . But coach what you teach us is true in some cases and in some cases it's not true . Be blessed and safe . Miss . Linda 💯💯💯
Keep it strictly about the kids. She'll eventually start trying to be petty to get reactions out of you. Remain stoic. Live life & be the best dad ever. That's what really matters.
I think no contact is a bit immature. It doesn’t take into accounts personal accountability. If you fucked up in a relationship, how exactly does no contact convey a sense of regret? I think no contact only makes sense if theirs nothing else to explain or talk about. Theirs no sense in repeating yourself. But if ur wrong, ur wrong
I’ve been doing no contact for 20 days and she just told me hi thank you for sending my stuff I couldn’t send yours but I’m going to do in the end of October ( it was middle September) in the begof breakup we talked and she told me I love you but then she saw a comment of a girl in my picture and stay mad . I tried she said no there is no chance of getting back and I did no contact since then
Stay Strong my friend, you are Not the only one and your are not alone, even If you feel Like that in this Moment. Day after day you are going to Upgrade yourself to a better Version and after a while you can See your past and the Relationsshop with different eyes and a smile after this long process. And at the End you can be proud of yourself and your ex will regret the decision, even If she didn't Show it. My Friend do me a Favorit and never give Up please.
Me and my ex broke up June 29 I moved out of to another state ( we had kids) he texted me happy birthday I saw him on his birthday (son has same birthday ) it wasn’t even in me to tell him happy birthday I didn’t tell him merry Christmas or happy new years i just don’t have it in me I’m done done
After 6 years of being together, she broke up with me, and she could not tell me why . I have been in contact for almost 3 months, and then she texted me why she did not hear from me. Then I texted her back, but she was not saying anything like she wanted the relationship to fix, so what should I do.
He text me on Christmas Eve and said Happy Holidays. He text me today and said Hey pretty lady. Just checking on you.. we text back for a few minutes. I asked him if he was doing anything after work. He said yes. He followed up and said let’s get together soon. I responded back saying sounds great. Is he still interested?
@@CatwalkPurz I stopped contacting him on August 10th. In December I ran into him at a lounge he was a DJ at. He came up to me and started talking to me.
What if everything you described was said and done, and eventually ended asking him to interrupt any interaction as this was not getting anywhere. Said him that we are no friends… which he admitted that he does not see me as a friend, however he is not willing to get back together to where we were. 3 years relationships, living together, trying to have kids, and etc. he is now comfortable with just keeping contact with me and this hurts, so I pushed him away. Did I do right?
ITS been about 30 min since she left and she messaged asking where her card is I told her she will have to look. she said she found it I didn't respond. about 20 min later she sent another text saying where she found it in different wording. NO CONTACT WORKS! I'm staying strong/\.
Can anyone help me in this question? My girk broke up with me 2x through text but she still uses coming to see my son and staying the night and we sleep together ! Then her Birthday came up and i didn't tell her Happy birthday so she told me she dont want to be friends no more and blocked me on fb and then i tried to bring her a birthday gift and she replied through text that she would be coming to see my son on Christmas! Im sure we will have sex but i want to take control and get her back but should i tell her i dont want to be friends no more because i only see us togther? Please tell me how to text her or tell her in person? Thanks ⏳️
We both agreed we will not see each other again.. last time I seen him was December 10th.. which i shouldnt of.. I didn’t wish happy holidays and I didn’t plan on.. as he mentioned to me. He want to do what he want when he wants..
How do I schedule a reading with you? My ex broke up with me and he’s been in and out messaging me then he disappears then he messages me and I don’t know what to do. I still love him. I still want to be with him and I’m very confused.
The former gf and I had a breakup in mid July. I had a reaction to an outside circumstance and I then suggested we "move on" after not having seen her for nearly a year. She works quite a bit. Once I said this she agreed it was probably for "the best". We spoke some for a few weeks but she cut conversations at the end of August after it dwindled off. I understand through external means she is on a dating app looking for a long term relationship...is it time that I let it go? My frustration of not seeing her was hard. We have known each other for 9+ years and had been very close (we never lived together).
What about similar story & your ex wife you have two kids with only calls for next to no reason other then to try use you for catchups as a ‘family’ when the only want to be ‘friends’. (I pay for everything) & it’s only when it suits her if I asked her to catch-up she’s not available & intimacy is hard work. when I say I’m not interested in being friends we don’t talk for about a week to 3 weeks her only reaching out again about the kids trying to plan catch ups then we hang out there’s some half arse affection then after a weekend where she needs something she goes back to saying I can’t do this. Do I ignore calls from here on out cancel family trips plan say I’m not interested in hanging out unless we are as a family and working on things. When you see your children outside of your court order dates.
mine is the same situation cause i have been no job for 2-3 months and she broke up with me and says wants to work on herself but then 1week plus later she got a new guy i have been no contact for a week alr but idk how to make her come back to me after seeing her have a guy with her after 1week plus 0.0
My girlfriend broke up with me after 10 years together it's the third time all these years but this time I did all the mistakes I begged I call I text and she blocked me from everywhere except email she told me that she lost attractive and fillings for me .I was still send her emails the last two months sometimes she responded and told me don't send me again.please any advice I still love her so much help
We have children; ages 8, 17 and 20 away in college, no Contact is working but my X uses our children to circumvent no contact. What is the solution for this situation ?
Everyone I want to calm down and not cry or txt or call my ex I watch your videos. I have hope. We were together for 16 years. Tomorrow will be a month since he broke up with me. I’ve broke contact a few times. The longest was 4 days no contact but I seen him post negative stuff about me on social media. That’s when he blocked me. But then 2 days later he unblocked my number. The only social he doesn’t have me blocked on is tik tok. The last time we spoke he said he thinks about me all the time. But at first he said he wishes inwould just leave him alone but that was after I confronted him about what he said online. Then he said that then he thinks about me all the time and then he would take the post down.. what does this meen???? I’m working so much trying to stay busy working out all that good stuff but night time is the worst time for me
When I and my ex split up I had her block me 3 weeks later she texts me telling me she unblocked me that is not right for her to block me. So I told her keep me blocked because I still have feelings for you and I'm afraid that I'm going to text you a week later she texted me saying I hope you're not looking for me I am talking to someone and I'm what does that mean and what should I obviously move on?
Hi, I think my relationship is complicated. We live together, and he said he wanted to be friend's,I don't think anything is going on yet its this woman he works with they spend a lot of time together, And? He still calls me babe.Hon like he once a work on this relationship, but I think he's torn between the both of us.We've been together for nine years, and I found it so hurt to move on, I really can use some advice, thank you, God bless
Can you go deeper into explaining the avoidant person? This seems to be what my guy is like. When the relationship was getting closer and deeper intimacy of feelings were required he seemed to pull away. He was afraid of being vulnerable. I feel. Is there a way to get that type of person back and to get them to open up when they do?
@Coachblac I have been watching your videos for the past two weeks. Recently “dumped “ out of nowhere on 12/26/23. Blind sided! In a relationship with this guy for 4 years. He has done this before and we were apart for about 4 months and slowly got back in a relationship. I know he loved me and I loved him. I recently heard you mention in one of your post about avoidant attachments. Not trying to self diagnose, but I think that’s what I am dealing with. The sad thing is , I know he will be back. I was heart broken and extremely sad the last time, Now I am outraged!!!! My tears are out of anger. Is that a normal reaction?
Hi me and my partner we are still talking but she told me there is no chance my insane that I want me to work on myself she hasn't blocked me but wondering what does that mean
This is exactly what I’m going through right now but I know there’s a 3rd party he went 2 a month or so after we were done .. he cheated on her with me without me knowing the whole time til he got caught up .. he has been having full access to me and the kids he got me Christmas by blowing me up and wanting to come over but when he got what he wanted he stopped talking again but I did text him a few times after he left now I’m confused again Nov he started saying he missed us or he was thinking about us but every time I’ve always got into it with him .. he normally text me every few days now it’s once a week . He didn’t say happy new years and he normally never misses a holiday but I know after he left Christmas I said a few things that was too much . I decided to be in no contact since then so it’s been 8 days
@@AussieRic thanks I will be doing so . He hasn’t reached out since Christmas after I said what I said and I haven’t tried to contact him anymore. I honestly don’t know if he wants me back at this point too busy entertaining the other female and I heard she lets him do what he wants as well as I was. He was going back and forth between us even though he denies it but I’m putting a stop to it
@@ConnieEnglish-lr5ti I did so good ignoring him then my mom talked me into letting him see them because she thought he was just going to be focused on the kids . He was for a min then his focus turned to me so he was definitely trying to see if he still had access to me and I gave him what he wanted
@@Danski6 If he comes back will you ever trust him when he goes out? Someone said to me... why do you think of her when shes not thinking of you when she kisses someone else. I was with her 13yrs & she cheated, told me on my birthday. I know it hurts, after 2 mths of no contact youll feel a bit better & it helps to focus on the negatives of them, takes some of the suffer away, I always think how could she do it, yea I think a bitch, it helps me move on. As they say..love is blind
Thanks but the dynamics varies from place to place. Here in Naija, money rules over love and 80% of the time your ex will leave for the highest bidder. But once you make it, they'll be coming back with their two left legs.
Money is important in dating but if you had a genuine emotional connection before the breakup and not a relationship solely based on money, if you apply no contact properly you will find that those emotional attachments a very powerful
@@blacademic Thank you for your insight. Like I said 80% of the times, ladies over here consider their survival instinct first before love. We live in a country with high level of poverty, so there's a high chance that any girl you meet is broke or struggling and wants meet her destiny helper. That's why the country has the second highest paternity (4/10) fraud behind Jamaica (6/10).
@@blacademicplease coach, I really want to apply the no contact rule properly on my baby daddy as he keeps reaching out anytime I go no contact and he ends up not saying anything important about the relationship, only asking about our daughter always telling me things I should tell her I feel his calling is about the baby not me..or maybe I should stop picking his calls? What should I do at this point please coach? Happy new year to you 🎉❤
What if my ex broke up with me and then I slept with someone else, we got back together and I told her i was with someone else she kept asking me the details of how it all happened and I white lied about it and she broke up with me again because I gave into my lie and was totally honest
What do I do if I’m still living with my ex and he messages me occasionally (I’m trying to do more no contact cos I’ve been very needy) but every time they talk to me or text me it’s something angry or just hostile.. what does this mean or how do I respond?
Could you coach me : i wanna make ammends, re attract possibly ( i say possibly because no contact for 7months after 4+ years relationship , i dont know if im going to like her), she might with rebound. What should i be prepared for, rather how should i prepare..any books you recommend. I got discarded, she waited for me 2 years!! I couldnt recover from a simingly hopeless state of mind fast enough (" hooked " is not an understatment). I loveded and love her. When she left it felt like a piece of me died. She told me to come bk in 3 months.i did. Another was in ny place. In time an ammends is my desire. Rambled, hard to make a coherent sentence and type with this broken hand...the broken heart is mending😊
You go to no contact which means that you only talk about childs matter when needed. Dont talk about privat stuff or whats going on with you. Dont let he/she provoke you.
Hi Coach. I was in no contact then one day my ex wished me on a festive occasion over a text and after that called me one day to wish me on birthday. Since then we texted few times over a month but things are not progressing much. What should I do in such a case?
I'm almost giving up ,,I had a date this Saturday with my sons moms for dinner with also my 2 daughters n she was with it but then she said she has a homegirl that's coming from Florida n wants brunch with her Saturday n said we coukd do it Sunday but she said if she's disturbing we can just go without her,,, I said ok cool I'll keep her posted but ima just be like we can link up some other time ,,I feel so drained by this ,,,
So my ex just dumped me on New Year’s Eve It has been about 5 days since we last talked, she sounded happy and she was smoking and drinking blocked me on everything and said she stopped loving me a week ago. Idk what to do
So I've been in no contact mode from my ex and about a week ago a buddy of mine sc a story of hers and it said "I miss my ex". Before that I hadn't really thought much about her. What do I do?
I didn’t necessarily understand what you meant by respond to a question with a question. Could you give an example please?
For example, they say how are you? Instead of just saying “I’m doing well”. You can say, “I’m doing well, how have you been?”.
This is a simple way to establish comfort in the beginning
Yessir my ex wishes me a happy new year but I haven't replied.she texted me saying she's happy I'm moving on that I deserve the best not just her. Please help me what should I do @@blacademic
He keeps reaching bc out with messages. First they were very angry bc I left him after ten years and two of him cheating. I know we both have strong feelings for each other but I couldn’t give more chances. I gave plenty. I left and he went back to the back burner. Now messaging is very much nicer than prior. What is he doing? Why? Broken hesrts etc etc etc. help. I’m so lost. I never stopped loving him. Three months ago we broke up.
@blacademic
He keeps reaching out with messages in an app .
First they were very angry bc I left him finally after ten years, and two of him cheating. I know we both have strong love feelings for each other but I couldn’t give more chances. I gave plenty.
I left and he went back to the back burner. He claimed never cared she was a puppet and a “filler”.
Now messaging is much nicer than prior messages.
What is he doing? Why? Broken hearts etc etc etc.
help. I’m so lost. I never stopped loving him. Three months ago we broke up. He’s sent other messages but now he’s sending the broken hearts 💔 and hearts ❤️ and I think feeling out if I’m seeing someone (I did over the spring of our last break up) and I am currently. However, I don’t know why he’s reaching out now?
Is it for supply? He is not a full on Narc, but he is definitely showing traits (sine he was caught cheating). Is it even worth my time or energy ? I do love and miss him!
@@blacademic please coach help me
One year of no contact and we are getting back together slowly but surely! Almost lost my hope after making many mistakes, but kept on learning and developing myself and now she is iniciating almost every single conversation, we had a date and kissed many times, and we are having another date tomorrow! I imagine that this time it's going to be more than just kissing! NO CONTACT WORKS BETTER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE AND UNDERSTAND!!!!!
Start watching AMS strategies...
I don’t know how you did that. A year!
so happy for u
So happy for you man ❤️ 😃
@@KatieThomas-jl2rn now we are back together! Hope that we will spend so much time together that this year apart will seem like nothing at all!
I refuse to downgrade in my relationship to FWB.. when I should be upgrading to a wife especially after 4 yrs
I honestly just want her to feel my pain. She left me out the blue, now I feel miserable and alone. Can’t believe she did me like that after 3 years
I understand how you feel because I am in the same boat as you!
Best revenge is doing well. Level up
So very sad. So sorry for your pain. Go into no contact. Keep your self respect.
My ex girlfriend reached out to me three times after she broke up with me since September 2023. She mentioned that she misses me and i am still in her heart. She also wanted to meet. I refused her suggestions and i told her respectfully that i am not interested in meeting her and i wished her a good luck . Se people, when the relationship is broken then it’s broken. besides , when someone plays with fire she/he will get burned.. this chapter of my life is over and i am starting a new chapter with more wisdom, knowledge and confidence.. ..
Good for you 🙌🏾👏🏾
Respectfully
What a coincidence i filed for divorce from my wife on september 2024, is final in November, she mistreated me and disrespect me in so many ways
My ex asked to see me!!! 🎉Your videos got me through the worst of the heart break! When I couldn’t sleep due to anxiety, these helped me so much!
Now after no contact, I’m due to meet up with my ex tomorrow, for the first time since the break up and he initiated the meeting.
I’m wondering what his reason is for wanting to meet up, but obviously I’m happy, but playing it cool and not having any expectations!
Once again, thank you for creating so much great content and sharing your knowledge for free! ❤
How long has it been in no contact after he requested to meet. good luck and update us on how it goes!
How long no contact
@@SonuSharma-kv8qi5 weeks
How did it go
How did it go
If you have to get your 'ex' to show you that they still have feelings for you - they're not the 'one' and they're an 'ex' for a reason. Be cautious not to attract the people that hurt you, mistreated you, because youre inviting them to possibly do it all over again - if not worse, if they're a narcissist! Use logic and discernment over 'feelings' because they can make you see things that simply was not there! Good luck everyone.
But why u here tho?
@Shi-px2iw That's a good question, and it may seem baffling, or some might think I'm trolling! I'm not. I had this mindset once of thinking if I did this or did that, then perhaps things would be alright - I was wrong. Sometimes, people come back because they want to mess with you a little more for an ego boost it had nothing to do with them having feelings for you. That's just wishful thinking, and it's dangerous. It will set you up for more heartache and pain, and your growth will be compromised. If your ex wants you back , let them prove it! Let them grovel and apologise with sincerity for mistreating you. Let them show you they've changed or are committed to real change . Only then should we think about taking them back. People can pretend to have feelings- Let their actions show they mean it.
So what if I was the one that did the hurting and now realize my wrongs . She broke up with me and now I’m like shit maybe I didn’t treat her how she deserved after 5 years
My Nigerian relationship coach who is a pure genius❤
No Merry Christmas , No Happy Holidays, no nothing after 5 years together. Not even a simple explanation . She won’t respond to me, won’t answer texts. My only answer at this point is no contact forever. The person that I loved the most and treated with love and respect is the one that hurt me like no other. Cruel and Sad…. I don’t understand her suddenly shocking behavior, but it appears that she no longer has any feelings for me so nothing left to do. People are strange. lol.
I really feel the same,but mine sometimes communicates
Kinda the same been with her for 5 year had an argument one evening even since then I've been staying at my mums met her outside work and she saod we needed to work on ourself ever since then nothing we have so much still connected up nothing
She loyally dated you for 5 years with no proposal?... how much more time of hers do you want her to waste?
@@basicinfo2022as long as it fucking takes
@@basicinfo2022 seriously, I asked her and would have gotten her the biggest ring imaginable. Her husband died young of a brain tumor and she was having emotional issues with getting married again. Afraid she couldn’t deal with another tragic loss. Things are not always as they seem.
Going through everything right now with my now ex fiancé. She said I wasn’t giving her the love and attention she needed over the last few months and she needs to work on herself because she’s unhappy with her life. I am doing my best to stay strong and to build myself up with the hopes she will see the value that I had one brought and have an abundance of confidence in myself for whatever happens. This is the worst pain I’ve ever been in in my life, but I’m becoming the strongest person I have ever been. It’s made me grow up and take a hard look at my life and my faults.
She did you a favor.
"she needs to work on herself" is one of these funny excuses women with low interest give. There's a new guy in her life and you"re her backup right now. Move on.
So tough 🙏 and raw at first. A couple months later of NC and I now feel relieved and don’t want him to break NC - I am at a place where I don’t want him back. Continuing my Training at the gym and outings with friends has made a world of difference.
Sounds like she's an 'Avoidant '. And I think you've learnt valuable lessons, and that's the key to our relationships, reflection, and understanding where we went wrong and fixing the flaws within us. Although, truthfully, there might not be any. Sometimes the problem is with 'them', not us, and I think it's important to bear that in mind. I wish you well on your journey and all the best. I hope you find everything that you're looking for.
I had similar situation. Most probably she has another dude on side.
So many PEARLS of wisdom but also, makes so much sense. Human behavior when understanding the other person’s side of the break-up! Diamond of wisdom!
Im sending positive energy to everyone in here going thru it,,its tough ,been thru it with both of my babymommas smh,,,
Me too bm just play me took everything
You’re a genius bro you pushed me over a huge wall with your wisdom
After 7 months of absolutely NC, no bday, no Christmas, no NYE nothing, crickets. I dont think he ever had any feelings whatsoever for me. It is what it is.
Damn that’s long but keep going and don’t look back
Did he break up with you or you the one who ended it?
I feel so comfortable with this coach, thank you so much.
Man, I love watching your videos. My ex and I split last July because of anger and lack of communication skills on my part. We got back together back in November/December last year but the issues were still there since I didn't get to the root causes of my issues so she split again 2 weeks ago and back to square one. Thankfully, her leaving again forced me to really dig deep and find the roots of my issues and traumas preventing me from opening up and I am now in the process of healing. Hopefully I can get one more chance with her, just leaving her alone like she asked and working on myself while seeing her kids that I love like they were my own whenever I get the chance
She also reaches out every couple days or so to give me random updates on the kids, if I coukd pick them up that day or other things going on in her life. The the only time we communicate nowadays is when she reaches out with those texts or random ig videos, just focusing on my healing and taking care of myself to be the best man I know I am and no longer allowing traumas & ptsd to run my life or emotions. No more being stuck in survival mode. I plan on booking a 1on1 with you as soon as funds and bills allow it haha
@@ZAC90715how is this going now
Coach, you have no idea how much you have been helping me through this 2nd round of no contact. I fucked up. I chased. I begged. I cried. I apologized. I spilled my guts out. I handled the breakup way too emotionally. We both reslly hurt each other. No success. She blocked me. She unblocked me. I started to live my life. She reached out on instagram relating to some artwork she did (taking it off my page, not realizing it was hers). We had some very toxic moments, especially my own doing. Her mom is a toxic barrier too. I know we still love each other, but she might be fully done, she's showing some signs of the opposite. I might be in denial or I might be realistic. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. NC round 2, day 15. Its easier than round 1, but its still difficult. Im staying strong.
You guys defently take some time man ,
Had the Same .
And still have ..
Right Know we need the time .
In the end After a Long time the toxic moments will be forgotten .
In the end you guys will think about the Great times .
And those Beautiful Moments catch you from to time Even more .
So there is a big Hope
But time is your best friend Right now .
Mine too .
@reggaekingz7143 I appreciate that response. That's where I'm leaning towards. That made me feel better no matter what the outcome will be. Ill give her space and time, while i work on myself more. Thank you.
@@robertrivera4701 Exactly 💪🏽 your welcome
@@robertrivera4701how’s it going so far? Better off?
I have insomnia . It’s been 3 days since we break up or took a break I am not sure. You help me so much. Thank you! I hope everything works out for us. I love him more than anything and anyone else
I appreciate you fam, I learned a lot today and we haven’t completely broke up yet but it’s been me keeping things together trying to hold on scared to go no contact but next time she mentions us not doing this anymore I’m going to allow that time and space
It worked
He contacted me
Flirted the usual he’d been in a relationship and picked her over reconciling with me
Told me it was just a rebound and he will be willing to work hard on being with me
Thanks for the great vid and for your reply on my other comment, Coach! Since I'm dealing with an ex-gf with avoidant attachment:
Now that contact over text and in-person has been re-initiated (by her), only 5 weeks since our breakup, what frequency of contact do you suggest? I got a surprisingly heart-warming Happy New Years text (even though it wasn't until mid-day Jan 2nd). I want to sprinkle in some comfort since I know it's so hard for her to be open emotionally, but I need to see more effort on her part to text and to set up future meet ups. (She's quite attractive and is used to being pursued by men, so I imagine her doing the pursuing will be foreign for her).
I’m not doing none of tired shit 🤣 time heals
Facts cuz all you're doing is devaluing yourself and your self-confidence you shouldn't have to do that for nobody Time Heals time to move on
Value, minus neediness, comfort
After our last interaction Dec 10th.. we decided to no longer see each other.. I refuse to be an option. Haven’t heard from him since.. I’m focusing on me.
Did you hear back from him?
After 3 years she told me she wants to focus on her son, which is awesome Told me she wants to be friends. We did have some bad confrontation after her decision of just friends.
I went 10 months no contact. She left late 2022 and in September 2023 she called me and we talked for about a week until she ghosted me…. That hurt a 2nd time since the break up. I kept no contact and then in November she calls me nonstop one morning. Me knowing it’s BC she needed help I didn’t answer her. I called her back a few hours later and we talked it out and she was feeling better. I didn’t expect our conversation to go anywhere so I said my goodbyes again. Anyways last week she called me again asking for a favor of course, I said no. Then that same week she texted me to hang out and we’re meeting this Saturday!! Never expected her to contact me again let alone go out since she left. I have low expectations and just playing it by ear to see what her intentions are. Just want to say thank you coach for all the help 🙏🏼
I would be careful, and you're right to have little expectation. It will save you being hurt or disappointed.
She belongs to the street
7 months together, talking for hours and hours a day when we weren’t together. Ghosted me for 6 weeks saying his mental health was struggling… then started contacting me again saying he loves me, I’m amazing and sees a future for us but needs to work on himself… then after 6 weeks of talking again, he cut me off, saying the pressure of knowing I was waiting was too much and because of our feelings for each other we can’t be friends. 2 days later he’s in a relationship with a girl 15 years younger. I’ll never understand men.
He never wanted you for the long haul. He just kept you around because you were convenient.
I was married for 28 yrs to my best friend. We have been divorced now for 13 yrs. He filed after repeated affairs sadly! However, we moved our lives on. He moved to another country and I suppose is involved into another relationship. We have two son’s that I have spoken with him periodically about. Recently, I have dreamed about him, had feelings of wanting him back and restoring our relationship. We have NEVER talked about fixing our relationship. If he feel something he has not share any feelings with me. I did send him a text message, letting him know that he is importantly to me and that I was thinking about him. HE NEVER RESPONDED BACK! When we talk, he always ask me how I’m doing? I’m very friendly and respectful towards him, but I DO NOT EXPRESS ANY INTEREST! He told me once that, “ OUR DIVORCE WAS THE WORST THING THAT HE EVER EXPERIENCED!” I know that he cares for me but not sure WHY HE NEVER COMMUNICATES IT? Any suggestions?
Together 4 years, yoday is day 13 no contact.
I miss him a lot, but he has to come forward having looked as his life.
I really hope he does, but if he doesnt i know i get do better next time.
Which is a long way in the future. Im not rushing.
You gave some jewels here ty
Can you do a video coach on multiple break ups with an ex? It’s the 2nd time, I am now in NC. Thank you for your videos.
A woman doesnt leave unless her standards aren't being met. Do you know her standards?
Yes please! I’m in NC for the 2nd time! It worked before so I know that’s what it takes.
I've done no contact twice and got her back both times. I used the time to work on myself, got in the gym changed my body and went to counseling to help heal the internal because I had baggage to unpack but here's the thing, the more I worked on myself the more I saw how incompatible we were. This time around I left her and I know in myself it's done, I want and need more than she can give
@@karissakarma2997 of course, I have a had a tiff before which we gave eachother space for a few days (so that it’s not really a break up) and a text here and there but the first time of NC she messaged after a week but this second NC had been nearly a month so far, I have made a list which has helped me of things I gave to her life over 5-6 months which has helped me understand my value. I pray she comes back asap. I wish you good luck in your situation.
Be careful with multiple break ups…it lends itself to manipulation on the part of the dumper. Ime at least.
I have given him his break up
I am new to your channel and I am really appreciating your perspective… Sometimes it’s slightly confusing though when I’m trying to follow along and then all of a sudden we’re talking about a man trying to get a woman back and then I’m like wait what
last night wrote to me father of my ex, wished me for New Year, tonight wrote me my ex, she told me when I will go to Germany xd and told me to text her when I will go to Germany lol. THEY COME BACK!!!, after 6 months
I'm in no contact since the 27th, I started the convos beforehand, broke up 2 months ago, and left with no contact when she left other than get your belongings, and me reminding her when she was at her dad's which was the start of December. Also me being told she cheated, which she didn't cheat, which I know was a mistake now, but I wasn't overly freaindly. Had a face to face as well that chat was 1 hour and her dad called her and she had to go. But I said bout mates, and she said yes and openly said she missed me and that she has to work on herself. She also said to me that she fully was really struggling with the whole break up she looked ruff as well. We had 2 convos since I started them but then just stopped didn't say happy new year, and all convos I ended after 3 texts cuse I took your advice
This was a great video, very informative!! Thanks Coach!!
It's best to let them go on about there business if they are in a rebound relationship because they made up in there mind who they would hurt and leave and who they would chose to be with and not hurt . Why would someone want to attract an ex back with a rebond in a situation like that if they have been dumped ? The ex who was the dumper has to be the 1 to make the first move in no contact and put forth effort to make things right and be honest to the one they broke up with and broke there heart . It's about the person who got dumped and haveing love and respect for there ownself and not getting hurt anymore and moveing on . We all regret things , make mistakes and relize that nobody is perfect . People can be forgiven when people get hurt and trust is broken but it takes time if people work hard at there relationship and have love and respect for each other again and really mean it . But in some cases some people are not ment for each other . But coach what you teach us is true in some cases and in some cases it's not true . Be blessed and safe . Miss . Linda 💯💯💯
How do I do the no contact rule with my ex girlfriend when there’s children involved? That’s what I’m struggling with right now
Keep it strictly about the kids. She'll eventually start trying to be petty to get reactions out of you. Remain stoic. Live life & be the best dad ever. That's what really matters.
I think no contact is a bit immature. It doesn’t take into accounts personal accountability. If you fucked up in a relationship, how exactly does no contact convey a sense of regret? I think no contact only makes sense if theirs nothing else to explain or talk about. Theirs no sense in repeating yourself. But if ur wrong, ur wrong
Boss become who you were when y’all met bet thank you in process now
Happy New Year, Coach Blac! 🥳🥂🍾🎆 Hope the New Year brings Health, Peace, and Prosperity to us all! And a wonderful relationship!! 👏🙌
I need a 1-on-1 now!! LOL
No, seriously, I would love one now...I'm so confused!
I’ve been doing no contact for 20 days and she just told me hi thank you for sending my stuff I couldn’t send yours but I’m going to do in the end of October ( it was middle September) in the begof breakup we talked and she told me I love you but then she saw a comment of a girl in my picture and stay mad . I tried she said no there is no chance of getting back and I did no contact since then
this was a great video, Coach Blac. Just what I needed today 🙂
I’ve been dumped 9 times and blocked 4 times and it sucks because it’s mainly my fault. This is the longest we haven’t been in contact 😢
How is it your fault
Stay Strong my friend, you are Not the only one and your are not alone, even If you feel Like that in this Moment. Day after day you are going to Upgrade yourself to a better Version and after a while you can See your past and the Relationsshop with different eyes and a smile after this long process. And at the End you can be proud of yourself and your ex will regret the decision, even If she didn't Show it.
My Friend do me a Favorit and never give Up please.
Why? Why do we tolerate such BS. You deserve more than that!!!!
Me and my ex broke up June 29 I moved out of to another state ( we had kids) he texted me happy birthday I saw him on his birthday (son has same birthday ) it wasn’t even in me to tell him happy birthday I didn’t tell him merry Christmas or happy new years i just don’t have it in me I’m done done
Yes . I'm very guarded, and my mate doesn't understand it❤❤😊
After 6 years of being together, she broke up with me, and she could not tell me why . I have been in contact for almost 3 months, and then she texted me why she did not hear from me. Then I texted her back, but she was not saying anything like she wanted the relationship to fix, so what should I do.
I need to know what did you say to her, Hope it was Short
Can you answer how did my ex get a new dude with in 3days
Thank you💜
Will this be the case if we only were casually dating for 2 months?, I love all the advice.
He text me on Christmas Eve and said Happy Holidays.
He text me today and said Hey pretty lady. Just checking on you..
we text back for a few minutes. I asked him if he was doing anything after work. He said yes. He followed up and said let’s get together soon. I responded back saying sounds great.
Is he still interested?
Yes. How long were you in “no contact”?
@@CatwalkPurz I stopped contacting him on August 10th. In December I ran into him at a lounge he was a DJ at. He came up to me and started talking to me.
@daliasmith3230 sounds like he’s interested. Make the plans and good luck!
Sounds like bread crumbing and future faking. Accept actions only. Let him lead and initiate. Be prepared to set your standards.
Just becareful man are like that
What if everything you described was said and done, and eventually ended asking him to interrupt any interaction as this was not getting anywhere. Said him that we are no friends… which he admitted that he does not see me as a friend, however he is not willing to get back together to where we were. 3 years relationships, living together, trying to have kids, and etc. he is now comfortable with just keeping contact with me and this hurts, so I pushed him away. Did I do right?
If you're with a narcissist, you can call it a wrap, unless that on your menu😮
ITS been about 30 min since she left and she messaged asking where her card is I told her she will have to look. she said she found it I didn't respond. about 20 min later she sent another text saying where she found it in different wording. NO CONTACT WORKS! I'm staying strong/\.
Can anyone help me in this question? My girk broke up with me 2x through text but she still uses coming to see my son and staying the night and we sleep together ! Then her Birthday came up and i didn't tell her Happy birthday so she told me she dont want to be friends no more and blocked me on fb and then i tried to bring her a birthday gift and she replied through text that she would be coming to see my son on Christmas! Im sure we will have sex but i want to take control and get her back but should i tell her i dont want to be friends no more because i only see us togther? Please tell me how to text her or tell her in person? Thanks ⏳️
We both agreed we will not see each other again.. last time I seen him was December 10th.. which i shouldnt of.. I didn’t wish happy holidays and I didn’t plan on.. as he mentioned to me. He want to do what he want when he wants..
hes saying your controlling, no offence
@jeaneengant6771 go get some cats.
Blocking each other and how can we know that he or she have still feeling..blocking on everything and how do we know the feelings.
What if they think what’s the point in reaching out because they live in another country?
How do I schedule a reading with you? My ex broke up with me and he’s been in and out messaging me then he disappears then he messages me and I don’t know what to do. I still love him. I still want to be with him and I’m very confused.
Hello, I love all your videos, they are just plain ingenious! My big question is if this could apply to a narcissist ex-wife?
I'm confused. He flirts with me when he sees me at events but won't call or text me or talk to me. I broke up with him without meaning too.
The former gf and I had a breakup in mid July. I had a reaction to an outside circumstance and I then suggested we "move on" after not having seen her for nearly a year. She works quite a bit. Once I said this she agreed it was probably for "the best". We spoke some for a few weeks but she cut conversations at the end of August after it dwindled off. I understand through external means she is on a dating app looking for a long term relationship...is it time that I let it go? My frustration of not seeing her was hard. We have known each other for 9+ years and had been very close (we never lived together).
What about similar story & your ex wife you have two kids with only calls for next to no reason other then to try use you for catchups as a ‘family’ when the only want to be ‘friends’. (I pay for everything) & it’s only when it suits her if I asked her to catch-up she’s not available & intimacy is hard work. when I say I’m not interested in being friends we don’t talk for about a week to 3 weeks her only reaching out again about the kids trying to plan catch ups then we hang out there’s some half arse affection then after a weekend where she needs something she goes back to saying I can’t do this. Do I ignore calls from here on out cancel family trips plan say I’m not interested in hanging out unless we are as a family and working on things. When you see your children outside of your court order dates.
I'm looking for the video where you mentioned her first step was Relief. What were the next steps you mentioned?
mine is the same situation cause i have been no job for 2-3 months and she broke up with me and says wants to work on herself but then 1week plus later she got a new guy i have been no contact for a week alr but idk how to make her come back to me after seeing her have a guy with her after 1week plus 0.0
What if he was the one pulling away so I was the one who broke up with him?
Did anyones ex really came back, or are these videos just for some motivation to keep going?
No
My girlfriend broke up with me after 10 years together it's the third time all these years but this time I did all the mistakes I begged I call I text and she blocked me from everywhere except email she told me that she lost attractive and fillings for me .I was still send her emails the last two months sometimes she responded and told me don't send me again.please any advice I still love her so much help
After 10 yrs! 10 yrs, your "girl friend"?
Thank you for the video, ❤ neediness duh.. so advice now? Forget move on or hope they change their mind?
No contact. Duh
We have children; ages 8, 17 and 20 away in college, no Contact is working but my X uses our children to circumvent no contact. What is the solution for this situation ?
My boyfriend walked out about 4 months ago with no explanation. I have tried texting him and calling and nothing, what can I do?
Everyone I want to calm down and not cry or txt or call my ex I watch your videos. I have hope. We were together for 16 years. Tomorrow will be a month since he broke up with me. I’ve broke contact a few times. The longest was 4 days no contact but I seen him post negative stuff about me on social media. That’s when he blocked me. But then 2 days later he unblocked my number. The only social he doesn’t have me blocked on is tik tok. The last time we spoke he said he thinks about me all the time. But at first he said he wishes inwould just leave him alone but that was after I confronted him about what he said online. Then he said that then he thinks about me all the time and then he would take the post down.. what does this meen???? I’m working so much trying to stay busy working out all that good stuff but night time is the worst time for me
When I and my ex split up I had her block me 3 weeks later she texts me telling me she unblocked me that is not right for her to block me. So I told her keep me blocked because I still have feelings for you and I'm afraid that I'm going to text you a week later she texted me saying I hope you're not looking for me I am talking to someone and I'm what does that mean and what should I obviously move on?
EXCELLENT!!!
What if she's seeing someone else and it only been a month and s week and we been together for eight months.
Hi, I think my relationship is complicated. We live together, and he said he wanted to be friend's,I don't think anything is going on yet its this woman he works with they spend a lot of time together, And?
He still calls me babe.Hon like he once a work on this relationship, but I think he's torn between the both of us.We've been together for nine years, and I found it so hurt to move on, I really can use some advice, thank you, God bless
Can you go deeper into explaining the avoidant person? This seems to be what my guy is like. When the relationship was getting closer and deeper intimacy of feelings were required he seemed to pull away. He was afraid of being vulnerable. I feel. Is there a way to get that type of person back and to get them to open up when they do?
How do you go no contact when you work with an ex?
@Coachblac I have been watching your videos for the past two weeks. Recently “dumped “ out of nowhere on 12/26/23. Blind sided! In a relationship with this guy for 4 years. He has done this before and we were apart for about 4 months and slowly got back in a relationship. I know he loved me and I loved him. I recently heard you mention in one of your post about avoidant attachments. Not trying to self diagnose, but I think that’s what I am dealing with.
The sad thing is , I know he will be back. I was heart broken and extremely sad the last time, Now I am outraged!!!! My tears are out of anger. Is that a normal reaction?
Damn, you just described exactly what happened to me. Sheesh.
Hi me and my partner we are still talking but she told me there is no chance my insane that I want me to work on myself she hasn't blocked me but wondering what does that mean
This is exactly what I’m going through right now but I know there’s a 3rd party he went 2 a month or so after we were done .. he cheated on her with me without me knowing the whole time til he got caught up .. he has been having full access to me and the kids he got me Christmas by blowing me up and wanting to come over but when he got what he wanted he stopped talking again but I did text him a few times after he left now I’m confused again Nov he started saying he missed us or he was thinking about us but every time I’ve always got into it with him .. he normally text me every few days now it’s once a week . He didn’t say happy new years and he normally never misses a holiday but I know after he left Christmas I said a few things that was too much . I decided to be in no contact since then so it’s been 8 days
Same exact situation. I let him see the kids on Christmas.
let him see the kids at his house, remove yourself, he has to feel the loss to want you back
@@AussieRic thanks I will be doing so . He hasn’t reached out since Christmas after I said what I said and I haven’t tried to contact him anymore. I honestly don’t know if he wants me back at this point too busy entertaining the other female and I heard she lets him do what he wants as well as I was. He was going back and forth between us even though he denies it but I’m putting a stop to it
@@ConnieEnglish-lr5ti I did so good ignoring him then my mom talked me into letting him see them because she thought he was just going to be focused on the kids . He was for a min then his focus turned to me so he was definitely trying to see if he still had access to me and I gave him what he wanted
@@Danski6 If he comes back will you ever trust him when he goes out? Someone said to me... why do you think of her when shes not thinking of you when she kisses someone else. I was with her 13yrs & she cheated, told me on my birthday. I know it hurts, after 2 mths of no contact youll feel a bit better & it helps to focus on the negatives of them, takes some of the suffer away, I always think how could she do it, yea I think a bitch, it helps me move on. As they say..love is blind
Thanks but the dynamics varies from place to place.
Here in Naija, money rules over love and 80% of the time your ex will leave for the highest bidder. But once you make it, they'll be coming back with their two left legs.
Money is important in dating but if you had a genuine emotional connection before the breakup and not a relationship solely based on money, if you apply no contact properly you will find that those emotional attachments a very powerful
@@blacademic Thank you for your insight. Like I said 80% of the times, ladies over here consider their survival instinct first before love. We live in a country with high level of poverty, so there's a high chance that any girl you meet is broke or struggling and wants meet her destiny helper. That's why the country has the second highest paternity (4/10) fraud behind Jamaica (6/10).
@@blacademicplease coach, I really want to apply the no contact rule properly on my baby daddy as he keeps reaching out anytime I go no contact and he ends up not saying anything important about the relationship, only asking about our daughter always telling me things I should tell her I feel his calling is about the baby not me..or maybe I should stop picking his calls? What should I do at this point please coach?
Happy new year to you 🎉❤
Awesome advice
What if my ex broke up with me and then I slept with someone else, we got back together and I told her i was with someone else she kept asking me the details of how it all happened and I white lied about it and she broke up with me again because I gave into my lie and was totally honest
Helpful
Coach, I am not agree with you, because we can't be sure that ex will message us. What's going on if they don't?
What do I do if I’m still living with my ex and he messages me occasionally (I’m trying to do more no contact cos I’ve been very needy) but every time they talk to me or text me it’s something angry or just hostile.. what does this mean or how do I respond?
So how do u go no contact when y’all have a child together?
Show no emotion and speak coldly.
When you talk only focus on ur child not anything else
I have question. Can people have affair or Cheat on someone without never never having no sex yes or no
Yes. Can be emotional or kissing etc
Yes.
Texting is also cheating if feelings are involved
8:50 go no contact
There is more to it than no contact if you watch the video. No contact is usually just the starting point
Could you coach me : i wanna make ammends, re attract possibly ( i say possibly because no contact for 7months after 4+ years relationship , i dont know if im going to like her), she might with rebound. What should i be prepared for, rather how should i prepare..any books you recommend. I got discarded, she waited for me 2 years!! I couldnt recover from a simingly hopeless state of mind fast enough (" hooked " is not an understatment). I loveded and love her. When she left it felt like a piece of me died. She told me to come bk in 3 months.i did. Another was in ny place. In time an ammends is my desire. Rambled, hard to make a coherent sentence and type with this broken hand...the broken heart is mending😊
What about if you have kids and still live in the same house? Can you talk about that please
What did you do?That will have alot to do with her or his decision
You go to no contact which means that you only talk about childs matter when needed. Dont talk about privat stuff or whats going on with you. Dont let he/she provoke you.
I Do got a question.Let's just say your ex. Has her mother call you and she asks about her stuff. Do I break the no contact rule?
Hi Coach. I was in no contact then one day my ex wished me on a festive occasion over a text and after that called me one day to wish me on birthday. Since then we texted few times over a month but things are not progressing much. What should I do in such a case?
I'm almost giving up ,,I had a date this Saturday with my sons moms for dinner with also my 2 daughters n she was with it but then she said she has a homegirl that's coming from Florida n wants brunch with her Saturday n said we coukd do it Sunday but she said if she's disturbing we can just go without her,,, I said ok cool I'll keep her posted but ima just be like we can link up some other time ,,I feel so drained by this ,,,
So my ex just dumped me on New Year’s Eve It has been about 5 days since we last talked, she sounded happy and she was smoking and drinking blocked me on everything and said she stopped loving me a week ago. Idk what to do
My ex will always contact me after NC my advice though make sure it’s legit! Make them prove it
So I've been in no contact mode from my ex and about a week ago a buddy of mine sc a story of hers and it said "I miss my ex". Before that I hadn't really thought much about her. What do I do?