How To Shift Your Anxious Attachment & Make Him Prioritise You.
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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When you focus on putting yourself first and always strive to be the best version you can be, people will gravitate towards you.
I THINK IM GONNA NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS EVERY MORNING!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me too ❤❤
No seriously. 💯💖
I was just thinking that too:)
me too girl i might start listening when i workout i need her in my ear “stop chasing his ahh” “don’t text him” in between each rep 😂
HAHAHAHAHAHA
"I served my master correctly this week. He shall give me love." I'm dying 😂😂
I can’t explain what Margarita has done to my life in the past year. There’s no one I would rather take advice from, I don’t feel understood by anyone else anyway.
Same 🙌🙌 lessons I didn’t even realize I needed.
Same! She has gotten me all the way together!
Shifted my life majorly too!! Thank you Margarita! Doing Gods work
Same here! She became a Big Sister figure for me :)
When you shifted too hard and now you’re avoidant instead 😂😂😂
That's me now😂
That's me sometimes
Same, dayum! 😂
A pendulum has to swing in the other direction before returning to centre… 😘
@@theoutlawblonde this one 😂😂😂
I'm 47, and I wish I had all this information when i was 18! ❤
I’m 55…sent to my daughter 24…wish I would’ve known this at 18 as well.
Me too!
I'm 28 and feel like I've wasted so many years. If I would have known this at 18 I'd be so much further
Amen! Very similar age & wistful yearning here!
@@avleck same here!
Self-validation
Activities outside of your relationship
Practice mindfulness & emotional intelligence- think of it like business
Set boundaries for yourself
Avoid ever pursuing someone
Set your energy on yourself & fitness
Thats not a good advice for any relationship. I dont know what are those strange times. If you focus on yourself and being fit, you also got a job, and hobby… how oh how would you be able to share life and make compromises with another person who you want to be vulnerable with?
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.
If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
Cut the crap already
25:52 -26:13 don't be afraid to WALK away if he's not meeting your needs, or rspecting your boundaries. There are other people out there! if he continues to be distant, disrespects your time and efforts, doesn't make plans.
Ungh yes 😊 I recently did this, yet he’s now chasing and making all these offers.
I know i need to do this
He was the one who pulled me when i wasnt interested last year and now he is the on who has pulled me away when I am anxiously attached to him. I am learning each single to detach myself from him and started to focus on myself. Learning it from you❤
Watch the stilvi show and implement some of her advice it might help ur situation ?
How long since you detached yourself from him and how’s it going?
Same exact thing happened to me!
@@JennyDolma Its been a week since and I am healing.
Proud of you ❤
I think journaling counts as meditation. When your body can more quickly work through feelings without recording, sitting with your body in stillness takes you farther in time. 💞
I served my master correctly this week he should give me love!!! lol 😂 nailed it
I love your videos! I’m 29 and really wish I understood this before I had 2 kids with a dismissive avoidant
Same! 😢
That’s not only ur „fault“,
Avoidants can be really difficult.
My ex was a DA,
Now I’m with a fearful-avoidant,
However he tells me that he likes me AND actually likes my anxious traits too.
Also u can still change!
For u, not him!
❤
Hey Friend, if you haven’t already listened to The Empowered Wife Podcast, or read the book I would highly recommend it! It helped me a lot with the same situation and my hubby really isn’t avoidant anymore because of changes I was able to make about my own behavior. Hope this helps 💕
As dismissive avoidant my self i can assure you we love you , i can feel your pain. As avoidant I wish I can understand myself better, that's why I am here.
realizing i cannot control someone’s actions is SO HARD
"oh they're walking away, oh it's ok they're back" HAHAAHHAH gold
I think this advice also applies to people pleasers. They always complain that people don't reciprocate all that they give, but the reality is that people don't want to be manipulated by someone's neediness.
not everyone gives to receive. that is not the point of being generous.
@@TheLittlestPetHouse Then that's not someone being a people pleaser. Being generous is different. It brings the giver joy on its own.
“care manual” is such a fresh way of describing your boundaries & expectations. love that term sm❤️
*I'm glad you made this video,* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love..
Please how ?
Am a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down 😭 of myself because of low finance but I still believe God😞
It's Maria Angelina Alexander doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.
$356K monthly is something you should feel differently about....
Lovely! I enjoyed it like I enjoy a $100k monthly around the turn!!!
The yes master commentary is KILLING me lmao
Wait where?!!! 😂😂😂
@@Itsaliceyoufwit9:05
@@cini_tini thank you 🩶🩶🩶
🤣🤣🤣
Yo I just heard her say it before reading this 😂🤣😂
You survived another day, but you ruined your relationship ...made me laugh, but it's on point.
i really struggle with anxious attachment and i always cry when i watch videos about those topics because everything just feels so serious and i can feel this devestating fear of loosing my relationship coming up. but her video just made me laugh and take it easier. so thanks for that :)
So weirdly enough I didn’t have parents who didn’t make time for me. I didn’t have many friends growing up but I felt like that didn’t phase me much because I also didn’t chase friends. I feel like I only became anxiously attached when I got in a relationship…maybe because I felt entitled to attention because this person chose me 😢 …and I didn’t ask for him to choose me. But he did. And now I feel like I’m unbearably anxiously attached and it’s one of the worst feelings ever because you feel like you’re inflicting yourself on this person whereas they bear some responsibility for making you this way too.
Maybe wrong partner (it was for me),
If they’re not abusive maybe try and just talk to them that it bothers u?
It’s in relationships that our attachment styles and patterns come to the front. It’s amazing of you that you actually see it and can reflect on it. ❤ keep on going - you can do it and we will be on this journey together
I feel this way too. It was a relationship that made me anxiously attached.
You said this so so aptly. Thankyou for sharing 🍃🎀💅🏼💫♥️
It is the worst feeling ever.
I am a guy, and I really enjoy your UA-cam videos. They are very clear and straight to the point
I love looking at you Margarita. I love the way you talk and gesticulate.
Same!!
She's so feminine and beautiful, divine even.
@@ven7ce510 I admire her because she wasn't raised to be a girly girl, or a feminine woman, she faced a lot of struggles (like moving to another country where she didn't know the language, being raised without a father in the picture), and being Slavic like me. I can relate in many ways. It requires a lot of inner strength to "break the habit of being yourself" or being conditioned in a certain way and gain this sense of inner knowing of who you are. She was chosen Miss World for a reason.
@@KatLewandowska it is the exact same reason for me. Slavic, pick me mother with no backbone and a narcissistic and sadistic stepfather, the biological one left me at a very young age.
It is amazing to see what we too can achieve by standing up for us the way no one else ever did.
@@ven7ce510 Yh, I had a very bad relationship with my dad, so no sense of self-worth. And an absent mother who gave me no sense of safety. So I have to reparent myself now. But we can do it 💪🏻🫶🏻
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
scam -.-
@snowfall7557 exactly. I've seen this ridiculous comment several times on similar videos, its so bizarre
Honestly, i wish I WISH i had found this two months ago, I'd be so much happier with myself. Thank you for saving me! 😊
I love your “serve your master” comment!😂 I’m dying!! Lol. What a great wake up moment. Ha ha
When she said Yuck!!!! I felt that... your girl felt it... someone save me!!!!!
“What are you doing canceling it? Yuck, you’re disgusting” harsh but true. Spot on and thank you for the wake up call.
I can't express how timely this video is for me right now.
I have been holding the desire to shift the dynamics of my relationship, from being the chaser (anxiously attached, masculine energy holder) to securely attached, chased feminine energetic holder)
This is the clearest way this has ever been explained Thankyou!
Halfway through this video I realized I don’t have a well rounded life, even though I’m working/going to school/ gym I’m living on autopilot without any hobbies or definite goals…so what did I do? Signed up for ballet classes! I danced from ages 2-14 and stopped when I got to high school and just never picked it back up. So here I am at 30 rediscovering one of my favorite activities! Thank you Margarita I needed this ❤
My relationship has shifted quite significantly since I began my journey on self love. I am still anxiously attached, however I have altered the way I act completely within my relationship, and it has been amazing. I let my anxiety and attachment style run my actions for months, and it was destroying everything I had worked for. I realized that I was the issue, and for about a month I have been working on myself. I’m quite proud of how far I’ve gotten, but I don’t think this journey will ever stop, it may delve into different directions and I know I’ll learn more about myself. I think there’s an infinite amount of things to learn about yourself, and there’s always something to better yourself on. Thank you for posting videos like these, because this is what kickstarted my journey ❤
What are u doing for ur self love?
@@SabrinaAliyeva-y5i I focus on myself more and pick up more hobbies! Also place boundaries
Margarita, I laughed so many times 🤣
HAHAHA me too when she said it in those funny voice
Y’all are All So Beautiful✨❤️🌻
Look At Us, on this Journey healing our hearts with Margarita
I’m So Thankful for YOU, Margarita✨🙏🏼🌹
I love this message and reminder
Margarita is the internet's big sister. Thank youu for another wonderful video Margarita ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was such a good video! I've watched many videos on this topic and you put it in the easiest way possible girl this went right into my heart and head 😂
Although I know your content by heart, it is awesome to keep watching a different version of your message every week! I will say this again, thanks partially to you, a left a guy who, to put it bluntly, was not that into me after many years of being together. It was a long process to transform myself and I am still rebuilding and reinventing so much of myself. My friend group exploded in size, and it wasn't easy, I put a lot of time and effort into it, organised so many different activities and tried new things with different groups of friends. Now, I don't really have time for my new boyfriend and he kind of likes that, not in a "Oh, I can ignore you" way, but in a way that makes him think in advance on how to organise dates with me and spend meaningful time together.
I love this so much and I hope this content reaches many many women, because so many of us do need it!
That was the best video out of ~100 while I was trying to figure out how to forget/make up with my avoidant date! Forget him and respect yorself!!! Thank you so much!
❤Margarita❤I get so excited when you post a new video! Love love love your energy❤One of the most profound things you've taught me is to "leave it" works in so many facets of my life❤
Hi Margarita! I am listening to your audiobook and I just wanted to come here to tell you THANK YOU SO MUCH❤❤❤ I love your book. It seems it is going to be kind of my bible from now on and I feel amazing learning all this. So freeing and helps me become confident. You are just heaven sent. Thank you for sharing your gifts with the world
I just realized that I have anxious attachment to the person I’m dating right now. I feel that God is really speaks to me with this video. So thank you so much Margarita. Definitely will work on myself from now on
Thank you for taking the time to create such a long video on this topic, very generous! I went to boarding school at age 11 and I do feel this is why I am anxiously attached. I’m 53 and since raising an unwell child I am in the dating world again. I feel dating apps, dating on the whole both create anxiety for most people, or stress, fear etc.. We never know if the guy is genuine or not, quite terrifying at times and dangerous. So I feel my anxious attachment is magnified with trying to see(scan like Terminator!) if he’s ok. It’s a minefield. Your videos are so wonderful, thank you. I have sent them onto colleagues who are your age as I have learned a lot from you and I don’t want them to spend years unaware when you exist!
Like same here I've always been thinking about how I and when I got rooted into anxious attachment and as I was listening to her the light bulb came on it was n uha moment.... boarding school age 10 uh n God knows I hated it I really felt abounded by my parents though I will see them after every 2 weeks ba it killed me inside.thanks for sharing x
"You're right in his George Forman grill" 😂😂😂 I'm dead 😂😂😂
🙋♀️ anxious attachment girlie, here. also, in active recovery from it 😋 💪
Margarita you are absolutely hilarious 😂 “What are you doing canceling? Yuck! You’re disgusting!”
Loved this video as always!
Margarita don’t know if u will read this,
I trust u 100%,
There are a few „coaches“ on UA-cam that are very very scary dudes (one insulted his viewership once),
Meanwhile u put out amazing content 24/7.
Thank u❤
I love your videos!! They help so much!! Your quick witt and knowledge is amazing! I love the frank openness!! Thank you!!! 💖🙏👏😊
Love all of this. ♥️♥️
I just found your videos/podcast. 🙏🏼
I have been single by choice for ages and just entered into a beautiful new relationship and am working on these principles of being securely attracted to Myself!!
Love from 🇨🇦♥️
Oh my gosh. This just popped up and I just started a new relationship. Thank you! Your videos are so helpful .
You’re such a blessing ! Thank you for sharing your wisdom because this is me 100%
This was such a great video. I plan to watch it at least once a week just as a reminder and note to self of what to do
Our older smarter sister is back.
One day my bf said we talk too often (avoidant),
But then a bit later I went to bed,
And so didn’t text him for 8-12 hours and he was kinda angry.
So can’t do it right but it’s funny also.
Now he does want my attention
Try to keep the balance
I love this so much, thank you for sharing! I would love more videos on marriage.
omg your book is on apple books and i bought it seconds ago. i didn’t know you have a BOOK 📕 this is amazing! I know what I,m doing tonight, read your book. i’m so happy i found it 🎉❤
Okay. Now I am ready to accept this recommendations. Thank you.
Her videos is on time , esp when I need her . Love you MARGARITA
Straight to the point and useful as alway! Thanks for the weekly reminder: put yourself first. I like to listen to you bia ivoox but I couldn't wait for this one. I would also love it if you could share some journal prompts or explain how you usually journal. ❤
Actually dying 💀💀💀😂 “you’re Simon cowell he’s auditioning for you”
0h yes!!!! Please keep these podcast coming!!! i love these live podcast. thank you so much for making them❤
Thank you also for the humour! Needed this today. 🌸
Thank you for this video. All self recognition made me cry. Not sure how to change to secure, bc that’s so hard and I did like 90% of what you said. Read Robert Greene, not even this helped. Still not bringing him into the chase. Your explanation made rather sure now that he’s not for me.
Divine timing. Thanks sister❤
the dobby voice change was insane lmaoooooo! This was great!
Scanning like a Terminator 😂. My husband says it’s “in my look” he and my son will say to me “what”? They feel that I’m evaluating them. It’s hard to not overthink and when you’re sad, feel neglected it’s agony and hard to shift your mindset.
I think you are absolutely amazing! The way you present yourself and the knowledge you share are just wonderful ❤
😂 This is the exact way I need to hear this stuff.
I needed this. Thank you.
Lol. Happy to be a secure introvert child.
I always thought of it like “letting him cook on low heat”
He can take his time to grow in love towards you”!
By giving him space and always keeping him wondering about how you feel and think about him. ;)
Always keep it cool. 😎
I love it when a guy starts to show emotions in the form of angry outbursts . 🥰😂
It does prove his care for me. 🥺 I don’t provoke it on purpose it’s just my feminine urge to feel secure and valued in the relationship lol!!
Me too.
I didn’t text for 12 hours (8 asleep) after falling asleep (even texted each other good night),
And he got all grumpy and asked what’s wrong and y I don’t text.
I kinda like it tbh ^^
@@Magenta-maya93 lol yess. 🤭😋😈😝
This is why i like to take it slow. No need to care too much. Just enjoy yourself. It’s just like xxx
It’s always better when slow. And only real men know that. :)
So you shouldn’t care about them little boys. They want you to prove yourself to them because they are only in it for themselves. 🥱
This is exactly what I needed right now. Thank you so much Margarita.
You absolutely sent me with the canceling your dentist apt part 😂😂😂
Omg tbis is me I think I manifested this video lol
😮❤
This is absolutely amazing! ♥️ Working on this every day. Thank you
Just found you a couple weeks ago and so glad I did!! Your wise advice on how not to be an anxious wife has literally changed the way I feel about myself along with strengthening my marriage! I had no idea how or why I was so anxious while my marriage was literally falling apart. Now I can identify both my husbands attachment wounds along with my own which single handily saved my marriage. I can’t thank you enough ❤ Just one question.. How and where do I get your new book Being her???? I seriously can’t wait to read it!!
Being anxiously attached is such a pain. Its exhausting.
I find you very sympathetic thank you!!
Scanning him like terminator 2!!! i’m screaming😂😂😅
Best part of my Tuesdays ❤
You look beautiful when u smile 😊
That was an amazing video 💖
Muchas gracias 🙏🌟
Omg I laughed so hard at ur expressions..😂😂😂😂 man I nèded that..
Thank you for this! I ended things with my ex 9 months ago, and now that he is dating someone new, I am in a spiral.
Remember you left him because it wasn't working.
Thank you for this great content, it's very dense and powerfull❤🥰 you are so creative it's wonderful
I absolutely love you and your content. Anyone insecurely attached can be codependent I am very avoidant but also until I got until therapy four years ago very codependent. I do agree it is more likely a person anxiously attached will do this though.
I dated an anxiously attached man it was so unattractive he revolved his whole life round me no interests no hobbies copied everything I liked.
I'm an hour into your book! Thank you. 😊
“Your big fat face” hahaha that was funny
You are the bomb!🙏🦋 Thank you! 🐈⬛❤
I’ve read a lot of books, but women’s magic truths on borlest is on another level. It doesn’t just talk about vague concepts-it reveals secret techniques that can actually help you attract almost anything you want in life. This isn’t some watered-down law of attraction; it’s the real deal. You won’t believe what you’re missing out on until you read it.
Loving these videos so much it is truly helpful
Margarita there was a time when i hated you and blamed you for ruining my life with all these selfishness but i ‘woke up’ and Im thanking you with all my heart! keep glowing! 🤍
Love your content, every time so good, helps me alot ❤
wow this one was so good!!
When she says “you canceled it! You’re disgusting” 😂❤
🥰You are simply amazing 😍Thank you
5 MINUTES AGO I’m SO EARLYYYYY ❤❤ for the first timeeeee 😊
The Simon cowell thing changed my brain chemistry.
You are veryy funny, enjoyed this video thank you!!
Thank you for this!!!
I needed thiiiisssss
It’s so funny - I needed to watch this. Last year, I was super busy and happy with school, business, and many hobbies/events.
I met a man who was great then became emotionally inconsistent. However, he spoiled me with money, things, and experiences. It triggered my anxious attachment.
I would sometimes ignore and go out with friends. Other times, I would decompress in therapy and coaching sessions then have calm conversations with him about expectations. Yet, it persisted. I soon left the relationship and the country, he’s now chasing… Thoughts?
My life 😩 except I’m still in the chaos
Girl please I beg you.. leave this man alone.