Reevaluating Purity Culture: Faithfulness, Anger, and Healing | Dear Future Wifey S7, E711

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  • Опубліковано 3 лис 2024

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  • @DrIpelengObGyn
    @DrIpelengObGyn Рік тому +435

    What hurts is when the married ‘Christians’ mock the singles. Treating you like you are not spiritual enough as if being married is a payment God gave them for living right.

    • @PRTEEGRL
      @PRTEEGRL Рік тому +43

      THIS COMMENT NEEDS TO BE PINNED!!! Thank you for writing this!!

    • @reneesampson6566
      @reneesampson6566 Рік тому +9

      Wow didn’t even know this was a thing

    • @utamu777
      @utamu777 Рік тому +67

      Or that marriage is evidence of a spiritual graduation and those who are single automatically lacks some kind of maturity. This is not biblical at all, may as well say Jesus, Paul, Daniel and more were all spiritually immature then. God uses both singleness and marriage to sanctify us. He who began a good work...

    • @DrIpelengObGyn
      @DrIpelengObGyn Рік тому +13

      @@utamu777 Exactly, best way to put it. ‘ marriage = spiritual maturity’

    • @DrIpelengObGyn
      @DrIpelengObGyn Рік тому +38

      @@PRTEEGRL listen. Being 37 and single I avoid being around married Christians. Tired of the judgement and being looked down upon

  • @keatlaretsemooketsi7267
    @keatlaretsemooketsi7267 Рік тому +324

    "People think that because they wait they are healing, you don`t know how healed you are until you are in a relationship and allow somebody the opportunity to trigger you". I resonate with this so much, I waited 5 years when I decided to get into a relationship, i realized that i wasted that 5 years because i didn't do any inner work, I was just waiting.

    • @michelegreen9262
      @michelegreen9262 Рік тому +10

      Yes, that statement brought tears to my eyes, literally 😢

    • @keatlaretsemooketsi7267
      @keatlaretsemooketsi7267 Рік тому +19

      @@michelegreen9262 i know right, it's so true, waiting without working on yourself is really just a waste of time

    • @chanewint5567
      @chanewint5567 Рік тому +7

      Season of waiting is healing from your childhood trauma...growing closer to God on different level...learning love and treat ppl in ur life well....
      When God bless with partner u have learn n understand who that person is n how they give and recieve love n walking the purpose of that union ..
      No time anyone take deal with self n growing is not a reason of time...
      I'm in waiting season n it's isolation season for no now..God has show my toxic behavior..how deal with ppl when I'm upset..how give love ..how let go of hate..how to forgive..how love ppl will hate me for no reason.....
      In this waiting season ppl come n will go on date but I pray and ask give wisdom n understanding n person for this person in life... n he reason no this not Adam for but u learn money management here...
      Don't take the time invest u as a waste of time....

    • @mariea3421
      @mariea3421 Рік тому +1

      👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @dafnenoel9825
      @dafnenoel9825 Рік тому +1

      Amazing

  • @aliciasandy2042
    @aliciasandy2042 Рік тому +527

    "When you discern well, you will decide well" This statement right here is simple but profound!

  • @suhweetee
    @suhweetee Рік тому +98

    “I’m not independent. I’m interdependent on the Father.” COME ON SISTER 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

  • @NBnNC
    @NBnNC Рік тому +155

    Depression comes from ruminating on the past - anxiety comes from expecting overly focusing on the the future - peace comes when you settle in the now

  • @turquoisgoins536
    @turquoisgoins536 Рік тому +145

    This truly touched my heart. 😭 I literally wept with my sister yesterday saying,” I am so tired. All I do is work, church, and go to school!” I am praying to break that pattern. Life is so much more. Jesus want us to experience life more abundantly. I want to experience that promise!!!!

    • @DearStephanieX
      @DearStephanieX Рік тому +2

      I hear you 😢❤🫶🏽

    • @dafnenoel9825
      @dafnenoel9825 Рік тому +2

      I feel the same way and do the samething work, church and working out.🤳🏾

    • @BriaBarrows
      @BriaBarrows Рік тому

      Definitely

    • @debrar2148
      @debrar2148 Рік тому +1

      I understand you. I'm with ya. A lot of us women can relate, especially since the pandemic.

    • @meeks4004
      @meeks4004 Рік тому +3

      Lol.. it sounds to me like you are experiencing what it feels like to be responsible. What else do you expect to do?... Life is boring and takes discipline to have an enjoyable one..

  • @tianapeterson4513
    @tianapeterson4513 Рік тому +253

    My God!!! She said “depression is attached to being overly focused on the future” 🤯 ❤ 🙌🏾 🔥 #Good

    • @cb4664
      @cb4664 Рік тому +16

      Or the past! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @melissaechols1969
      @melissaechols1969 Рік тому

      Very Good!!

    • @shaesmith1130
      @shaesmith1130 Рік тому +12

      Something else she said that rocked my personal world was something like:
      "I have REAL boundaries around my personal privacy, but I'm called to a very public work"...
      I COULD'VE FALLEN OUT RIGHT THERE FOR THIS IS THE TESTIMONY MEANT TO SPEAK TO MY ENTIRE LIFE! 👋🏽👏🏾🙌🏽

    • @erind2261
      @erind2261 Рік тому +3

      I'm so pissed I was obsessed with the future of husband & kids by CERTAIN TIME that I missed gems along the way.
      I so loving being single rn, Thank You Father for keeping that from me I wouldn't have been ready 🙏🏿🙏🏿

    • @thendelove
      @thendelove Рік тому

      @@cb4664yes!!!

  • @kenyacarl3626
    @kenyacarl3626 Рік тому +45

    Exactly! I love what she said “I’m not in a waiting season”. Single women can live their lives and be happy and do their thang until their hubby comes. We’re not “ maids in waiting” ❤

  • @tout2324
    @tout2324 Рік тому +81

    Can we bring her back on for a part two? “The Father is trying to get you whole relationally period”

  • @WomanWithHISPlan-un4rp
    @WomanWithHISPlan-un4rp Рік тому +59

    I LOVE how she made it CLEAR that we should keep ourselves sexually BUT we should keep ourselves as our reasonable service to GOD, NOT as a reward to get a HUSBAND! She is right! That has been the issue with a lot of singles ministries that the focus is on being single until you get a husband not being whole as a single person. But I am DETERMINED and have been for months to continue to be whole and content single because like she said, the RIGHT husband is ONLY the BONUS!!!! ❤️

    • @BriaBarrows
      @BriaBarrows Рік тому +2

      It’s true

    • @cerissabrown3487
      @cerissabrown3487 8 місяців тому +1

      Facts 100

    • @lisabrown2965
      @lisabrown2965 4 місяці тому +2

      I loved her analogy because people don't realize EVERYTHING WORKS ON single women as well.Its just your commitment to God that helps you sustain with the help of the Holy Spirit!!!

  • @shawnvernon9904
    @shawnvernon9904 Рік тому +266

    YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!. this is the best interview of this season! Thank you for having guests that heal and inspire. You are truly a man of God who is annoited 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💞

  • @MsAFS1
    @MsAFS1 Рік тому +142

    Best interview yet! The Holy Spirit didn't show up in the midst... HE was there from the beginning. Thank you both. This was profound. Hallelujah thank you Jesus 🙏🏽

  • @mari_Clau
    @mari_Clau Рік тому +194

    This topic is needed in every church platforms. 👏🏼👏🏼

  • @MsBeeBee1031
    @MsBeeBee1031 11 місяців тому +4

    At the beginning of this, the Woman of God said "Obedience in the safest place in the world."

  • @pamelagrady5288
    @pamelagrady5288 Рік тому +95

    The guest comment was so powerful when she said being single for a period of time doesn't mean you're healed. I found that out after being single for 15 years and got into a relationship only to discover l wasn't healed at all and neither was the individual l was involved with.

    • @TheAliciafly
      @TheAliciafly Рік тому +3

      I have been trying to find a good example to back up a quote that I love, “you can’t learn to swim if you don’t get into the water”.

    • @sonyajones283
      @sonyajones283 Рік тому +1

      That’s why I know I’m not ready!! Amen

    • @dafnenoel9825
      @dafnenoel9825 Рік тому +2

      Facts I been single for 10 years and I just started talking to a guy 2 months ago and he told me am not heal.😢

    • @MsDera81
      @MsDera81 Рік тому +1

      ​@@dafnenoel9825
      How in the world does he know. It's probably just a lame excuse to break things off with you. One thing that I must really train myself to remember is that most of the time when people come into your life and make comments that make no sense and have you scratching your head, it's really just a demon spirit sent to throw you off.

  • @Thegripspot
    @Thegripspot Рік тому +70

    I’ve never been sexually abused but I felt what she said about running from the work. I ran from grief work for a long time. I lost my only sibling at 14 and was not safe to grieve in my own home. My feelings were not validated as a surviving sibling due to my parent being my first bully. 26 years later I’m a licensed therapist embarking on full time private practice as a grief therapist. I love teaching and holding safe spaces for grievers. To give them what I never had! I praise God for my purpose through this pain!

  • @imanii4u
    @imanii4u Рік тому +80

    Apostle Paul was single. He also offered relationship advice. It’s the wise counsel and Godly wisdom that matter. 😊

    • @prettyuniquell2011
      @prettyuniquell2011 Рік тому +1

      🙌🏽🙌🏽

    • @keahharrison4765
      @keahharrison4765 Рік тому +1

      I was about to say this

    •  Рік тому +1

      Amen

    • @Nigerian373
      @Nigerian373 Рік тому +1

      YES!!

    • @jenealeverett2269
      @jenealeverett2269 Рік тому

      I wouldn't go to a single person for marital advice. You have to show the results I want if I'm coming to you for advice. Would you seek out an overweight personal trainer?

  • @TheBambieyes
    @TheBambieyes Рік тому +78

    This podcast is what Christian platforms are supposed to be. Practical advice from a biblical perspective graced with the anointing to walk it out.

  • @Contentcreator139
    @Contentcreator139 Рік тому +33

    Yoh!!! This morning I heard a whisper that "If you can't submit to God, how will you submit to your Husband" I broke down and from today I have decided to sit quietly in my prayer moments and learn submission. Submission to God first so that when my king comes I will be ready.

  • @suzettecounsels
    @suzettecounsels Рік тому +67

    I started speaking in tongues when she said, "There's a relationship revival happening right before our eyes!" She prophesied right there!!!!! I felt all that! "The gift of God doesn't have a status!!!!!" 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @Msjojo_ma
    @Msjojo_ma Рік тому +82

    We need a series with her!!!!!This is the single most important episode that you’ve ever had!

    • @MD-qw5yp
      @MD-qw5yp Рік тому +2

      Amen sis!

    • @dafnenoel9825
      @dafnenoel9825 Рік тому +1

      Facts

    • @SimplyMichelle81
      @SimplyMichelle81 Рік тому +2

      I second that !! I just want her pour into me. Sis believes in the Lord and is walking in her purpose!!

  • @angelajones6557
    @angelajones6557 Рік тому +34

    Spirtual mother's words of wisdom!!! "You different, and they gone try to change your different; but God want to use your different"❤...Blessed by these words and this episode

  • @evelyntaylor9215
    @evelyntaylor9215 Рік тому +161

    OMG 😢😢😢😢👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽That prayer at the end was a revelation of my current circumstances. I've carried seeds from molestation that are harvesting, and I tried to excuse the fruit. That prayer gives me the tools to forgive myself and claim victory. This will lead to obedience and what God has waiting for me. Thank you, LATERRAS, for being obedient about who sits on that yellow couch 🛋 💛 🙌🏽

    • @stephaniejohnsonsimpson4743
      @stephaniejohnsonsimpson4743 Рік тому +2

      Thank you, Lord ❤

    • @WamaithaWamzKaranja
      @WamaithaWamzKaranja Рік тому +1

      This was my exact experience with this episode 😢😢😢😢tears of gratitude, tears of joy that I finally heard my pain being spoken back to me and hearing a prayer wash over me and my spirit FINALLY beginning to receive total healing and restoration. 40 long years after I was first abused, abandoned and ostracized! Praise the chain breaking, miracle working and covenant keeping God. His grace is more than sufficient for each of us hurt by the vile actions of our perpetrators. He can and He will restore us! He'll teach us the way of healthy relationships, heal wounds of abuse, broken self esteem and drowned voices. Thank you Lord for using this podcast to bring freedom, in Jesus matchless and mighty name, with love from Nairobi 🇰🇪.

  • @celestawilliams5234
    @celestawilliams5234 Рік тому +69

    This has blessed me, I have cried because this conversation has spoke to my heart and it’s given me my push. “I can grow at the rate of my obedience” now I must finish my book and do the other things God has called me to do. 🙌🏾😭🙌🏾😭♥️

  • @topekiagarnett2810
    @topekiagarnett2810 Рік тому +60

    OMG! I needed alllll of this! Dropping gems 💎 “Loneliness is a thief of time and focus”
    “Depression is attached to being overly focused on the future”

  • @jacqueline4868
    @jacqueline4868 Рік тому +6

    “I will never uncover anybody I ever loved” ❤

  • @Treebee6009
    @Treebee6009 Рік тому +63

    I have to laugh to keep from crying, y'all. I'm in my 50s and grew up in purity culture. All those years we spent going to single's conferences and being a part of single's ministries at church surrounded by nothing but women. Where were the "church" boys/men? They were out dating and having sex😂. They weren't being abstinent or paying tithes and offering either. I remember someone saying if Black women stopped giving money to the church, half of them would go broke. Another young woman pastor on a podcast asked, "Wanna know why a virtuous woman is so hard to find? Cause ain't nobody looking for her!" Now, single women are evolving and so many single men are lonelier than ever.

    • @abawitx
      @abawitx Рік тому +6

      This comment 100%

    • @cb4664
      @cb4664 Рік тому +2

      1000 not 100.

    • @sherrisolomon2843
      @sherrisolomon2843 Рік тому +3

      @trelaandwrson64986, Man ADOS/FBA in and out of the church need to open their options outside their race, and culture cause there are Christian men alll over the world! Most BAM ain't about that devot Christian life.😢😢😢😢

    • @chrisharris2367
      @chrisharris2367 Рік тому +6

      I think going to a multicultural church may increase your chance of getting married compared to going to an all black church
      Just my own opinion

    • @uscitizen1035
      @uscitizen1035 Рік тому +3

      I remember as a 27 year old getting cute and dressed up to go to a church singles meeting hoping to meet a nice single man and the room was full of women who were also cute and dressed up. Not one man in sight..I had to laugh.

  • @charronsmith1795
    @charronsmith1795 Рік тому +12

    “People hear through their trauma first”
    Deep! ❤
    Teach ma’am ❤

  • @PRTEEGRL
    @PRTEEGRL Рік тому +54

    Purity culture has ruined soooooo many marriages right up in the church house!! For YEARS!!! This conversation is much needed!

    • @mizzcashmoney1
      @mizzcashmoney1 Рік тому +2

      Ruined it how?

    • @PRTEEGRL
      @PRTEEGRL Рік тому +18

      @@mizzcashmoney1purity culture teaches no sex and methods to avoid being sexual. In a marriage, you need to embrace being sexual. Sometimes it’s hard to flip the switch. I can personally attest to this.

    • @Peaceoverhere
      @Peaceoverhere Рік тому +1

      ​@@PRTEEGRL Purity shouldn't be practiced in a marriage.

    • @PRTEEGRL
      @PRTEEGRL Рік тому +10

      @@Peaceoverhere my point is that purity culture is indoctrinated in the hearts of singles so deeply that when it’s time to be married, it’s a STRUGGLE to “be married”. There’s a lot to unlearn. You may not have experienced this but many people have and understand why it’s destructive.

    • @cgray5025
      @cgray5025 Рік тому +6

      @@PRTEEGRLI don’t see this as a common issue. I see more marriages ruined from cheating and other things. There is hardly anything pure in 2023.

  • @michelleluv1039
    @michelleluv1039 Рік тому +12

    "If you don't learn how to allow yourself to be corrected you are going to buck against the man that you say you want so bad"- help us Lord! ❤

  • @kristigibson6772
    @kristigibson6772 Рік тому +38

    “Depression is attached to overly thinking about the future”….. That touched me in a special way. That statement was immediate confirmation that I am on the right track of being set free!!! Thank you so much sis!

    • @gingerbreadmangangafarmer2251
      @gingerbreadmangangafarmer2251 Рік тому

      @@mckinleyjohnson3842That is not true

    • @carleenwilliams6202
      @carleenwilliams6202 Рік тому

      That part.. I drove myself into depression and anxiety because of that statement. I am grateful for my counselor assisting in getting me back to a healthy space.

  • @ayelove1838
    @ayelove1838 Рік тому +41

    I didn’t intend to cry. Her ending prayer was absolutely amazing. Thank God for grace and goodness ❤

    • @trishag.
      @trishag. Рік тому +2

      When she said "God is not the one who broke your heart" I lost it. "Seeing" that changes everything.

  • @annabatiste3854
    @annabatiste3854 Рік тому +50

    Sister Sefana, I don’t know you, but I love you! I often have bits of frustration when I hear spiritual perspectives that discount psychological facts and social engineering, BUT your wisdom and insight has been holy and whole. The understanding and compassion you have for trauma, the development of promiscuity, poor decisions, etc. is so warming to me. I’m a therapist that definitely supports coaching because our fields compliment one another, and can only further empower the healing of our community. God bless you, Love! God bless the Dear Future Wifey platform❤❤❤

  • @revacleveland5238
    @revacleveland5238 Рік тому +51

    This podcast is what I’ve been waiting on FOREVER!!!! I was getting extremely frustrated because I was doing EVERYTHING that I heard about getting and /or attracting a spouse. When it wasn’t coming I would constantly tell myself that I wasn’t good enough or I wasn’t special to God because everyone else was in a relationship. I would tell myself I know God loves me but because of my past I’m being punished and this will be my life.
    Thank you sooooo much my New Homie My New Sister friend. You have blessed me by the words that you spoke. I was sooo focused on the husband I didn’t have that I wasn’t living life. I would wake up , go to work, workout and go back home constantly thinking about “where is he and what am I doing wrong “ . I have so much to say but I thank God for this episode!!!!!!! Oh and yes women LOVE SEX and we are extremely visual!!! Until next time ❤

    • @kameilmoving4294
      @kameilmoving4294 Рік тому +6

      That’s what I though that God was punishing me because of the mistakes I made in life by fornicating, I’m here still waiting

    • @sweetsugar1014
      @sweetsugar1014 Рік тому +6

      ​@kameilmoving4294 I thought the same while in my laye 30's and 40's because that's basically how I was taught. That I would have to wait LONGER because I fell short. Foolishness! I'm so glad I awoke from that nightmare of living in consistent discouragement. Once I learned better, I began to FOCUS on ME and building my career as an entrepreneur and nothing excites me better than this new found FREEDOM!!! ❤

  • @GINNIEJOY5420
    @GINNIEJOY5420 Рік тому +65

    I'm about 20 minutes into the Replay of this Podcast and I am SO GLAD I RAN ACROSS IT, or maybe I didn't just run across it by accident because this lady is "reading MY mail." In December of this year, if I still haven't gotten married, I would have been CELIBATE for 21 years. Back in December of 2002, at the age of 48 years old, after dating sporadically and being sexually active with several men I'd dated since I was in my 20's, my Christian upbringing caused me to feel convicted about having sex outside of marriage. So in December of 2002, I ended my relationship with the guy I was dating and made a promise to God that the next man I was sexually intimate with WOULD BE MY HUSBAND, not realizing when I made that promise how long it would be before I got married. Now I am in my late 60's, still NO HUSBAND, and feeling a bit confused, and yes, upset with God. Not only am I not having sex, I've never smoked, did drugs, or drank, and I am a Faithful Tither! So now I am at a point in my Flesh, like, what's going on God. I'm attempting to live the life you expect a Christian to live, but why haven't I reaped the mate that I've been sowing seeds for after ALL THIS TIME. But in the Spirit, I still have hope that God does have a mate for me because I wouldn't have such a strong desire to be married if God hadn't placed that desire deep down inside me. Please pray my strength....🙏🙏🙏

    • @jazmineg.3325
      @jazmineg.3325 Рік тому +1

      🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @sherrisolomon2843
      @sherrisolomon2843 Рік тому +1

      @KingdomBuilder4Jesus, See my comment. Btw, I think it's great you still have that desire at 60/ 60+ Mines went away coming into my 50's accompanied by almost 10yrs old celebacy. Now heading towards 60 still not really a desire.

    • @midabingamlata9129
      @midabingamlata9129 Рік тому +1

      Those who wait upon The Lord...they shall walk and not faint !

    • @CosmicMama888
      @CosmicMama888 Рік тому

      We might be getting ready for the next lifetime. ❤❤❤

    • @WomanWithHISPlan-un4rp
      @WomanWithHISPlan-un4rp Рік тому +1

      It’s exactly what she said is your answer. It IS RIGHT to wait until marriage to have sex BUT the problem is, A LOT of women have been waiting, giving seeds, praying, etc for the WRONG reason. Like she said, we’re supposed to be “waiting” as HONOR & OBEDIENCE TO GOD, NOT to get a husband. THAT’S the difference. The focus and motives have been wrong.

  • @Brownpearl212
    @Brownpearl212 Рік тому +9

    “It’s important to discern well, decide well and date well”. (Speaking on the vetting process when dating). YESSSSSSS LORD!!! I needed this

  • @shalee89
    @shalee89 Рік тому +54

    Wow Laterras you done did it again. Thank you for your ministry. Thanks Sefana for your obedience and vulnerability, I cried NOT beacause of saddness but because of the victroy we have in Jesus!! We are so blessed !!! Glory to God !!

  • @juanderuano8969
    @juanderuano8969 Рік тому +204

    Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Рік тому +2

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?.

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 Рік тому +1

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @tecoranoble9939
      @tecoranoble9939 Рік тому +12

      So y’all really scammers, a different video but same lame story. Shame on y’all

    • @elizabeth-q9b2u
      @elizabeth-q9b2u Рік тому +1

      I'm sorry to hear that really! If y'all are meant to be God will bring y'all together. But for now focus your relationship with God...seek Him first. Maybe y'all separation is for God to work on y'all individuallly so that you can be better together in the long run or maybe y'all are meant to be. The only way you will find out is if it's going to be one or the other is if you draw closer to the Lover Of Your Soul...Jesus. I'll be praying for you!

    • @MsDera81
      @MsDera81 Рік тому

      ​@@tecoranoble9939
      What are you talking about?

  • @TysonDavis3
    @TysonDavis3 Рік тому +17

    Girl, you betta preach! "DEPRESSION IS OVERLY FOCUSING ON THE FUTURE"..... It is sheer madness to try to live today on future plans created in our head that may never be (or can be better than what we can imagine), but we don't allow God to write our story and work feverishly to try "make things happen" TODAY. Then when it does not happen, we are depressed that we not getting what we want or what we think we deserve. We don't have any idea what our future is going to be because God is the only one who can see our future, protect our present, and heal our past. Thank you for helping me put things into the right perspective!

    • @kaydiew802
      @kaydiew802 Рік тому +1

      This is so true. Many times we focus on the where we are going without realizing we haven't lived in the present moment! The thing is many times we think we are healed when as she said we are just waiting...such powerful words. Her views helps one to reassess whether healing has taken place or certain things still trigger us.

    • @TysonDavis3
      @TysonDavis3 Рік тому

      @@kaydiew802 Amen!

  • @mz.blaquebutterfly2569
    @mz.blaquebutterfly2569 6 місяців тому +2

    I’ve watched almost every episode on Dear Future wifey & This one right here was the 1st one & only one that really touched my soul & connected to my spirit. I felt it in my soul & I cried like a baby. I received healing & I felt Her Energy when she was praying. She’s my Favorite at this point. Thank you both for this well needed to hear episode. I felt God delivery on this one . Omg God is real . I absolutely love ❤️ her thanks Sis

  • @financiallysane
    @financiallysane Рік тому +47

    She is fabulous!!! I love and agree with EVERYTHING she said. I loved what she said about seeing a real godly, healed man too! That is a sexxy thing indeed!!❤ I hate how the world tries to paint this picture that godly men are not wanted or they are corny, or weak. We don't need any more rappers or celebrities. We need some strong, Christian men!

  • @MoiWonder
    @MoiWonder 9 місяців тому +2

    Sefana is a sweetheart. I asked her to speak at my daughter's choir at U of M years ago, and our daughter couldn't say enough about her afterward. We used to be in Periscope Sisters so many years ago. So glad to see her "out here", :) Keep going, Sefana! She's such a beautiful soul.

  • @HisPurposeDaily
    @HisPurposeDaily Рік тому +28

    😇 "Every woman that's in this season needs to hear this! Sefana's emphasis on our relationship with the Father, ourselves, and then others is the roadmap many of us have been searching for. It's not about the ring or the status; it's about the journey and the growth. Blessings to everyone on this path. 🙏🏾

  • @toiahgordon8892
    @toiahgordon8892 Рік тому +22

    This was an excellent episode! Growing up in church, purity culture was a bit toxic. I truly believe that if we teach boys and girls early how to see each other as valuable human beings and friends we wouldn't have as many issues. Also, if we teach women early how to value to themselves as whole and complete, with more emphasis on the value of their hearts and minds, there will be less issues with toxic sexuality. Teaching girls that their most valuable gift is their virginity or genitalia is problematic in every way. A woman, actually person's most VALUABLE assets are their heart, soul, spirit and mind. If we cultivate those properly beginning in childhood, there will be much more careful consideration before engaging in sexual activity. Just my humble opinion.

  • @toreyjo1290
    @toreyjo1290 Рік тому +31

    This is the first time I’ve ever cried listening to a podcast. This woman has blessed my soul🥺❤️

  • @caramelcocoa234
    @caramelcocoa234 Рік тому +8

    This is a conversation that is NECESSARY IN THE CHURCH COMMUNITY

  • @brittanydiggins6145
    @brittanydiggins6145 Рік тому +48

    I wept during the time before prayer. Sis I relate so much to you it scared me. That very authority you just spoke about came through the phone. I struggle with letting weed go but God has been so patient with me and slowly the desire is falling away. You gave me hope and the spirit gave me comfort. I thank God for this powerful episode! ❤ I have to connect with her!

    • @sandrapollard2541
      @sandrapollard2541 Рік тому

      My struggle with sleeping pills has been the hardest for me,my God cleanse and deliver me from taking them... Lord Jesus 😭

  • @moniequeen22
    @moniequeen22 Рік тому +13

    I don't usually leave comments, but this right here was a game changer for me. Sefana was so authentic and a true woman of God. As a single woman, this resonated with me so much. Thank you for bringing on people who genuine, passionate and LIT!!!

  • @quietlioness2575
    @quietlioness2575 Рік тому +75

    OHHHHMYYY GGGGGG! I am READY for this conversation! I gotta like this so I can watch later! Dear God PUHLEEZE let’s this be an honest and transparent conversation! Not more of the same ol’ same ol’ singles constantly get from church circles!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @MarciaJoi
      @MarciaJoi Рік тому +3

      Three things you’ll always get from Sefana: Jesus and Honesty coupled with Transparency❤

  • @terrasseberry5403
    @terrasseberry5403 Рік тому +23

    Coming to the conclusion that even @53 we women are still like little girls who are still wanting the love of a daddy. I'm just now finding out what being a daughter is to my daddy and also showing up for my aging earthly father. Restoration and obedience to the Father. Thank you so much for bearing your soul for us little girls on the inside. Blessings to you queen ❤❤❤❤

  • @paulamartin9507
    @paulamartin9507 Рік тому +33

    She woke up and chose violence! Each podcast just gets better and better, Laterras! ❤

    • @TheAliciafly
      @TheAliciafly Рік тому

      I love when Laterras says that😂😂😂😂

  • @SheelahA74
    @SheelahA74 Рік тому +11

    “Loneliness is a thief of time and focus” 🎤 drop. “The gifts of God don’t have status “🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽……I was about to shout in this office, hallelujah. She said a mouthful with many of the things she said. Some people can’t see past where they are . Oh baby and what she said about depression 🏃🏽‍♀️…..depression is attached to being overly focused on the future and where you are not yet “, that was a great definition of what it is. God can use anyone to teach you something. I appreciate your message. I’m in this single season and learning to rest in it and be happy in the wait.

  • @minyv23
    @minyv23 Рік тому +24

    Best one by far. I even teared up. She’s so sincere and anointed. First convo where time flew by and when it was over I was like wait. Have her back!

  • @Passion84GodAlways
    @Passion84GodAlways Рік тому +13

    1:21:46 - You can grow at the rate of your obedience!" [emphasis mine]
    I 👏🏾 almost 👏🏾 threw 👏🏾 my 👏🏾 phone 👏🏾 CLEAR 👏🏾 'CROSS 👏🏾 THA 👏🏾 ROOM!!!
    GOD BLESS HER and ALL of the GEMS she shared with us today!!! 💎💎💎

  • @melissas_heart
    @melissas_heart Рік тому +38

    “Either I have the Holy Ghost or I don’t.” That is the very revelation that will set you apart to be used by God for Kingdom Business! Blessings Queen for the wisdom you have imparted very early in this episode. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💜

  • @puseletsomazibuko5403
    @puseletsomazibuko5403 Рік тому +16

    Thank you for a deliverance episode, I've been praying to God and saying there must be more to life than just sitting and waiting for a husband. Live because you are alive, may we never miss our abundant life because we are single/divorced and desire to be married again. Thank you for delivering me from just existing but to go and live, serve God and be successful in my single season. Thank you, I'm delivered.

  • @herfamiller139
    @herfamiller139 Рік тому +39

    The Spirit of God showed up today(thank you Father)this is needed now more than ever. Thank you Laterras for providing this platform for us. Blessings and more blessings be unto you as you step out in obedience to do what God has called you to do. Thank you sis S for being so transparent and vulnerable.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️❤️❤️

  • @snknox
    @snknox Рік тому +13

    I don’t usually comment. But this podcast was amazing! Her openness, transparency was so inspirational and has happened to so many women. The rate of your obedience, is the rate that you can grow.

  • @AkosuaEve23
    @AkosuaEve23 Рік тому +31

    This is one of the best episodes I have seen yet. She is so annointed and full of wisdom. I have been so blessed by what she has shared, I pray that God will continue to increase her annointing.
    We need more of her please !!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾❤

  • @bdraytod5748
    @bdraytod5748 Рік тому +8

    Listen! I'm married and I needed this episode. This blessed me tremendously. Phew! The anointing on her life is apparent. May the Lord enlarge her teritory.

  • @TishTish-qm5wq
    @TishTish-qm5wq Рік тому +11

    And on a side Note!
    I have saved so many books written from guest on this Podcast I have a library 📚! Goodness.
    We are gonna need a “Dear Future Wifey Book Club” in a minute. Every time I get one here we go with another episode with 6 more! Goodness

  • @Abetterphiladelphia
    @Abetterphiladelphia Рік тому +3

    I’m speechless 😢 this woman has a deliverance ministry in her womb!! I can’t! I can’t! I’m in my house losing it! Whewwww this woman ain’t seen NOTHING yet!!! My God thank you for her life

  • @sapphiredelight
    @sapphiredelight Рік тому +5

    "You can grow at the rate of you obedience." That's a whole sermon right there! Glory!

  • @SH-jm3so
    @SH-jm3so Рік тому +8

    She is anointed!!! He brought on a warrior for This 🔥 episode. I putting this on replay MY GOD🙌🏾

  • @angelaharris123
    @angelaharris123 Рік тому +6

    My status is not what’s coaching you. What’s coaching is gift of God, the anointing and the wisdom of God. That’s good!

  • @lhaynes4548
    @lhaynes4548 Рік тому +3

    Whoa! When she talked about the rate in which you obey God is associated with growth and God holding things back. A word, Jesus! Have mercy!

  • @therelentlessboss
    @therelentlessboss Рік тому +4

    Wheeeeewwwwwwww!!!!! when she said: "When I surrendered..." AND "Obedience is the safest place in the world." COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾👑

  • @dearfuturehubbypodcast
    @dearfuturehubbypodcast Рік тому +7

    "I will NEVER uncover anyone I have EVER Loved"!!!! Ooooooh, this just PREACHED!!! What a wonderful episode Laterras.

  • @ErickaH.
    @ErickaH. Рік тому +17

    Come on SEFANA! When she said, " Strategic I'm not loud" I felt that!!!! I truly understand. Those that are intentional know! Authentic and dedicated. This isn't temporary this is a life time ride. Come on Lady!!! Not everyone needs to be in the spot light. Allow those who do, do! It moves people out you way so that YOU can get things done and complete. Come on NAH!!!! AMEN!

  • @victoriam3838
    @victoriam3838 Рік тому +10

    Out of all the season and episodes. This one spoke to me the most! ❤I’m glad she was interviewed!

  • @cherylpgh9155
    @cherylpgh9155 Рік тому +5

    I have to admit I was so turned off by the Jackson couples episodes that I stopped listening for a while. I scrolled by and saw this sis and hit play and I’m glad I did. She has walked through it and is on the other side, slowing down to help other get there. We are not watching an “active meltdown but a proactive buildup!” Loved this. This is the type of content I’m here for.

    • @mrsburton7911
      @mrsburton7911 Рік тому +1

      Me too! I hadn't listened since I wasted 8 minutes listening to some of Derrick Jax episode. Still made about those 8 minutes 🙄😒😏

  • @lateshanewson120
    @lateshanewson120 Рік тому +5

    “Obedience is the safest place in the world” 😭🙌🏽

  • @cb4664
    @cb4664 Рік тому +5

    THIS SISTA IS THE TRUTH!!!! Through her tears she is telling you facts! Listen!!!!

  • @jessicajames45
    @jessicajames45 8 місяців тому +2

    I just finished listening to this episode on Spotify. I had to watch this on UA-cam ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @cesslyebob3685
    @cesslyebob3685 Рік тому +11

    Honestly, the Church needs to apologize for how they have handled singles in general. They may have meant well, but it hurt a lot more people than it helped. I say this as a clergy member. Sometimes, we have to have the hard conversations in order to bring healing and deliverance. IJS.

  • @Nicoe0987
    @Nicoe0987 Рік тому +9

    Loneliness is a thief of time and focus🎯Amen! This episode was so needed. Had to take notes. And watched it more than once.

  • @lachelegandy6993
    @lachelegandy6993 Рік тому +13

    You talking about HOLY BOLDNESS SHE DISPLAYED IT! I praise God for her! I sooooo enjoyed her! She preached an anointed word of encouragement!!!! Thank you, Sefana, May God continue to bless you to share His word!

  • @EMMA1673
    @EMMA1673 Рік тому +9

    This is definitely one of the best episodes yet!!! She was funny, relatable, and transparent. She literally embodied what Laterras defines as LIT! Loved everything about this.

  • @AMotivatedYou
    @AMotivatedYou Рік тому +31

    Is time for the church to be more proactive in talking to single people about sex in that season. She is so wise and I’ve taken so much from her today. Awesome woman of God.

    • @thequeenofresources
      @thequeenofresources Рік тому

      No Ma'am that is not the job of the church to educate the member about sex. That is their parents job to do that and we had sex education in school! Absolutely not Ma'am when I go to church I come to hear a word from the Lord!!!

    • @lovingme1st973
      @lovingme1st973 Рік тому

      ​@@thequeenofresources If the church can tell you not to have sex, they need to educate you about sex. You can't tell me no to do something but leave me with nothing stand on. The church will continue to have a congregation of single mothers because of this backwards thinking.

    • @ocbfdog
      @ocbfdog Рік тому +3

      @@thequeenofresourcesthe Lord created sex. Why not hear from Him about it?

  • @susanakaan810
    @susanakaan810 Рік тому +10

    Wow, this is a thousand episodes in one.❤
    1) no blue print for what God has called you to do.
    2)Its a year of manifestation.
    3) THE ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO GLORIFY THE FATHER AND ADVANCE THE KINGDOM.
    4) Marriage is partnership, sharing, covering.
    5) know how to properly vet. Discern well decide well.
    6)yes single people can give relationship advice (if they have the wisdom, experience and knowledge of God)
    7) There is a relationship revival.
    8)Have a relationship with the father, your self then others.
    9)Don't be caught up on the status so you don't miss the opportunity(be opened to the holy spirit).
    10)love covers, as you wait heal.
    11) The role of a man is leadership.
    12) you will grow at the rate of your obedience.
    Great, please bring her back again and again, there are lots of episodes in here to unpack and uncover.
    Thank you ma, thank you mr laterras.
    .

  • @Marci_Rich
    @Marci_Rich Рік тому +12

    This episode was absolutely life giving. The way she put singleness into perspective, the holy spirit in her, powerful. Thanks LW!

  • @katrinaheard7318
    @katrinaheard7318 Рік тому +11

    I am so glad my sister sent me this Podcast. OMG I needed this! 🙌🏾 😢 I know you are working in my favor. Strength us all in the name of Jesus!

  • @annettecriswell6669
    @annettecriswell6669 Рік тому +27

    Love this episode because it touched every part of my life and how she just let the Holy Spirit take over brought tears to my eyes. Thank you

  • @MillyWright-bp2gn
    @MillyWright-bp2gn Рік тому +6

    My GOD! This woman is on point with this because it's so hard for single christian folks to figure it out, especially growing up in a COGIC church. You always have the older women who have been married before half of us were even born, teaching the single women how to be chased keepers at home & how to be a wife, but nobody ever teaches the singleness. A lot of them have been married since they were 16 years old so they never really had an era of singleness. I feel like they don't really have an answer to that because a lot of them have never experienced it. It's always a teaching of point 'A straight to point 'Z and there are a whole lot of letters in between that are being missed. I wish I had these types of classes growing up.

  • @imanii4u
    @imanii4u Рік тому +30

    You are a blessing! Thank you for the truth, Sis. Sefana! If we have sight, humans are visual! Humans are intended to be sexual beings. Teaching that only men are sexual is deceptive and manipulative; the roots of purity culture. God said be fruitful and multiply. He wasn’t just speaking to Adam.

    • @chrisharris2367
      @chrisharris2367 Рік тому +2

      We need to encourage more black men to marry and be faithful husbands

  • @arnessad16
    @arnessad16 Рік тому +8

    I made a decision during my dating season to not give up myself to a man until I'm married and it was THE BEST decision I ever made. When you give yourself up to a man, especially when you hear the words "I love you" it immediately opens up your emotions, you give all of you to a man who ends up breaking up your heart!! The key is being focused on God, experiencing the love of God which is the best love you can ever have, & I enjoyed my single life to the fullest! Did I have my moments, yes but I didn't stay there. I believed that God was going to send me someone who I needed not what I wanted and over 10 years later, God blessed me with a wonderful man of God. I encourage all single ladies, stay positive, stay pure, wait on God for your Boaz and trust the process!!

    • @janellamurphy5665
      @janellamurphy5665 Рік тому +2

      Amen Sis I have been abstinent for 8 years going on 9. I am not giving up any kibbles and bits to any man until marriage period! Excellent advice to us queens!!!! It is very wise to wait and definitely watch Gods Process🧎🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️💃🏿

  • @osharobinson7707
    @osharobinson7707 Рік тому +8

    At 47 I am so grateful this is what we needed to hear someone speaking out the truth God Bless You my sister Amen

  • @temeakahamm2278
    @temeakahamm2278 Рік тому +10

    Wow!!! This podcast was God ordained, anointed and filled with words of pure wisdom! Enjoyed every minute. Thank you woman of God. I love this podcast and everything it stands for. Bless you @dearfuturewifey

  • @roots4140
    @roots4140 Рік тому +6

    "There are people who are called to your voice."
    Thank you for that Word!

  • @jenesis_8
    @jenesis_8 Рік тому +4

    Whew! “You can grow at the rate of your obedience” 🙌🏽 I received that

  • @Naturallyshe77
    @Naturallyshe77 Рік тому +5

    This is my first time being introduced to this woman and I love when I come across people of God who are really about HIS Word. This was a great episode!

  • @brendabaskerville633
    @brendabaskerville633 Рік тому +4

    I've been following and watching this podcast for a while. My Gawrd! At 54yrs old, divorced this, no children, Christian woman who still desires marriage and having a family. Queen hit my nail on the head!!! This came at the right time. I too never believed in saying I was independent and didn't need a man. This Queen shared nothing but TRUTH, the while TRUTH and nothing but the TRUTH! Peace and Blessings ❤👑

  • @Iamkrystamarie
    @Iamkrystamarie Рік тому +8

    Oowweee I just clocked in and this video came in swinging I’m 32 and pursuing purity as well but babbbbbbyyyy let me just watch the video cause three years single two years abstinent ain’t no joke

  • @NaeButterflies
    @NaeButterflies Рік тому +6

    We need an encore with her! 🥰

  • @teejay5775
    @teejay5775 Рік тому +8

    This legit fed my spirit! 🙌🏾🙌🏾 I needed to hear every word spoken. Thank you Sefana for blessing us with your testimony and wisdom!

  • @JustUdoro
    @JustUdoro Рік тому +14

    “You can grow at the rate of your obedience” my goodness!!!! The confirmation and conviction connected to this here blessed conversation…wow…The Lord is so good. Thank you for having her!! Thank you!! 🙌🏾💛🙌🏾

  • @HappyHealthyHair
    @HappyHealthyHair Рік тому +17

    My takeaway :
    Dont Rob the Bank in Bright ORANGE SOCKS😂
    this has been my favorite episode this season
    I very much relate to this SISTAH
    THANK YOU for your Testimony

  • @klasha125
    @klasha125 6 місяців тому +1

    I need this woman in my life, I have been praying for good Godly counsel and I am so grateful that I was lead to this podcast.... touched and crying at work

  • @lauraking04
    @lauraking04 Рік тому +3

    I never comment. I don’t even have words for the healing that took place today as a result of this discussion. I am forever changed. Blessings to you both.

  • @thyrajoseph2720
    @thyrajoseph2720 9 місяців тому +1

    A relationship revival!! Yes, Lord! My relationship with God is a priority for me! What an awesome episode! Laterras, God is truly your publicist. You have the right guests for the right seasons! Glory to God! I thank God I am not a frustrated single person. I just know that God will bless me with my husband when it's time so there's no need for me to be frustrated. A man that leads is definitely attractive and sexy! Especially a man groomed by God. I felt her on that part!!! Loved, loved, loved the prayer and your letter! ❤❤