Why he only wants you as a friend? | Tony Gaskins

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  • Опубліковано 30 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @Jasmyne444
    @Jasmyne444 3 роки тому +434

    “Never allow yourself to be in the friend zone with someone when you ultimately desire marriage. You are blocking your blessings and the man God is trying to send to you.” Tony you are breaking chains out here!!

  • @CarmenLifeCoach
    @CarmenLifeCoach 3 роки тому +1032

    If a man doesn't see you as the woman to be in love and have a relationship with, please love and respect yourself enough to not try to convince him or prove your value and qualities to him because it takes nothing for him to accept you and waste years of your life with a mediocre half-hearted affection but you will never get the feeling of being cherished, respected, valued and loved as a woman because he did not pursue you, he had other priorities or taste. That is your protection, not rejection, so you can one day be blessed with the one who will know for sure from the beginning he wants love with you and only you.

  • @jackksterr
    @jackksterr 3 роки тому +775

    A man knows what he wants. If you’re questioning it, that’s your answer.

  • @virtuous_committed
    @virtuous_committed 3 роки тому +779

    Ladies let me tell you, Tony know exactly what he is talking about. I recently cut a guy off because he was telling me "Oh I just want friendship and see where it leads'. I'm not the type of woman you keep in the friend zone. You either know what you want or you don't. Since he didn't, I cut it off and I moved on. I caught myself catching feelings for him. Now he had already told me that we were just friends, I left it at that. So he calls me every now and again trying to get me to come around and I'm like nah we good. All I can say ladies know your worth and stick to your standards and your requirements. If you want to be married and he's telling you, you're just friends walk away because, in the end you going to do yourself more damage by staying, then if you had by walking away. It's best to cry now and get over it than to cry later because you stayed too long.

    • @kimfrazier5752
      @kimfrazier5752 3 роки тому +29

      So true I been there done that

    • @mzsprettyyoungthang760
      @mzsprettyyoungthang760 3 роки тому +8

      💯

    • @happywithin1008
      @happywithin1008 3 роки тому +64

      This same thing happened to me recently, except the guy came on very genuine and clearly expressing interest from his introduction, actually even asking for 100% trust up front, to which I told him trust is earned, not just freely given. From conversation: in person, text and by phone, it was clear he was interested in dating (I was too, to be honest), but he also made sure to include this, "let's be friends first and see where our friendship can go" because of how his last relationship ended. I almost went with it, thinking he meant let's take our time to get to know each other, until I saw his communication quickly transition into him just texting.
      So, I did as Tony has been telling us, I "BLOCKED" him, gotta go.... It's been a while since I connected with someone like this man, but I am not going to be a placeholder while you figure out your life or the role you want me to be in it while I cling to a fantasy that's just that.

    • @christineporter9914
      @christineporter9914 3 роки тому +5

      Yes, so true

    • @jasminelikescookies818
      @jasminelikescookies818 3 роки тому +6

      this right here 💯💯💯💯

  • @Dr.Elaine1
    @Dr.Elaine1 3 роки тому +345

    “It means you are not his wife.” TG

    • @Jusleen0403
      @Jusleen0403 3 роки тому +7

      That part !!! 💯💯💯💯💯

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 3 роки тому +2

      Yes i am not and yet. He doesn't admit it but i do to myself.

    • @debsmith2789
      @debsmith2789 3 роки тому

      It means the man is not worth 2 cents. Kick him to the curb for better.

    • @debsmith2789
      @debsmith2789 3 роки тому +7

      I’m going to disagree about men sparing a woman’s feelings. He is either a coward or he is leaving the door open to return.

    • @Dr.Elaine1
      @Dr.Elaine1 2 роки тому +1

      @@debsmith2789 So, when women ask men, “Does this make me look fat?”, they say, “Yes.”?

  • @mrkmaker
    @mrkmaker 3 роки тому +245

    I agree about friends stepping back to create space. My best friend growing up was a man. Once he started dating his now wife and I saw how serious he was about her. I stepped all the way back. His wife is his new bestie as she should be.

    • @studyingeducation8438
      @studyingeducation8438 Рік тому +8

      Wow that's good.

    • @bkkid100234
      @bkkid100234 Рік тому +8

      This is what I'm working to do on a relationship with a friend I have. To be a really good friend and remove myself from any underlying romantic scenarios and create space for myself and him to be open to our future husband and wife.

  • @KrystleLaughter
    @KrystleLaughter 3 роки тому +890

    Society conditions us to settle for less, but God desires for us to have His best!

  • @sylviasalcedo8569
    @sylviasalcedo8569 3 роки тому +259

    To a woman, when you meet a man and he says his best friend is a woman???? Track 👟👟👟

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +18

      Yes!

    • @denisemyers733
      @denisemyers733 3 роки тому +28

      And don’t look back either. Learned lessons.

    • @mileyroe4877
      @mileyroe4877 3 роки тому +19

      Yesss. Worst mistake I ever made.

    • @kikikiki3216
      @kikikiki3216 3 роки тому +9

      Omg please why is that?... The guy am seeing currently said his best friend is a woman but he also said she's married....

    • @sylviasalcedo8569
      @sylviasalcedo8569 3 роки тому +30

      @@kikikiki3216 there is something deeply wrong with a man that does not have a male as a best friend because of the way men are wired. There are situations in a man's life that only a male will be able to relate to. How is her husband alright with that? Something is not right. A real man would not be ok with his woman having a male as a best friend. No one wants competition. It's messy. When you are in a relationship, you want to know without a doubt that you are #1. That you are the best friend, confidant, safe place for the other person. Tread carefully, my sister. Sometimes they won't know, until you speak into their life gently with love and respect. There has been several men that I have verbalized that I am not ok with that. And they say, you know that makes sense. Never saw it from that perspective. Bless you dear one. Continued success and growth in your journey.

  • @lizzylewis5793
    @lizzylewis5793 3 роки тому +584

    I think that's the most evil thing men can do is to lead a woman on for weeks, months, or years knowing he never wanted her from the very beginning...smh😡

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +91

      Yea but sometimes women twist men arm by sticking around. It takes a very evolved man to turn down free 😸.

    • @lizzylewis5793
      @lizzylewis5793 3 роки тому +17

      @@toriyt2714 That's true too

    • @cassandralopez1162
      @cassandralopez1162 3 роки тому +1

      Amen

    • @letrice2892
      @letrice2892 3 роки тому +39

      True but women have to take accountability as well bcuz we see the truth its just a hard one to swallow for some so they convince themselves differently determined to "change " the outcome not realizing the only thing they're doing is wasting time and blocking their own blessings they spend time leading into months even yrs convincing not only the man but themselves that there is more to their dealing with that man if they just hold on a lil longer put more effort he will come around and they will have the relationship she desires and in the end she still doesn't have that only battle scares bcuz she placed herself to remain in a situation that wasn't conducive to what she really wanted nor deserved ...ladies don't wait for a man to show u he's not interested more than once don't wait for him to become vocal about it either bcuz some aren't built that way meaning they don't want to say anything bcuz they don't want to be viewed as the " bad guy" they figure u will get the hint and keep it moving and then u have some that will remain silent bcuz theyre loving the benefit of u they dont want u over all but they damn sure will continue to come around bcuz they get something that requires no real commitment especially if u have given them that privilege for some time look at the behavior it always reveal the truth we have to be willing to stop and see things for what it is versus for what we would like it to be

    • @valerie5325
      @valerie5325 3 роки тому +26

      @@toriyt2714 a grown boy will stick around, a grown man will walk away.

  • @jenniferthompson5146
    @jenniferthompson5146 3 роки тому +720

    I was in a situationship for 2 years after he broke up with me. I was lying to myself and letting myself get led on. Broke my heart in the end. If a man rejects you, accept it and cut him COMPLETELY off. Don't waste your time and don't let him waste your time. There IS someone out there waiting for you. Get right with God first and the rest will follow.

    • @kayladaniel2814
      @kayladaniel2814 3 роки тому +11

      $/^&----Aint even gotta send this to him, he is intelligent and KNEW what he was doing and RISKING!

    • @lisadeen7147
      @lisadeen7147 3 роки тому +5

      @jennifer thompson
      As these kids say, "Real Talk. Preach."

    • @sylviasalcedo8569
      @sylviasalcedo8569 3 роки тому +4

      Well said! Excellent beautiful one!

    • @8adassa
      @8adassa 3 роки тому +4

      Amen 🙏 well said

    • @wandataylor3227
      @wandataylor3227 3 роки тому +27

      You got out in 2 i stayed 2 more then you until i asked him point blank period when i got off work at 6:30 am are you going to marry me? He danced around it tried to say im pressuring him then that didn't work so next let's try the manipulation game that didn't work so i told him it was over put 30 days in with my landlord 2wk notice in with my job and at the end he helped me load my truck saying i didn't give him time to think things out. Cut ties and never put myself in a friendship zone ever again.

  • @nikkyshamz2696
    @nikkyshamz2696 3 роки тому +197

    just recently cut someone off cold turkey for this issue right here, made it clear at this stage of my life that im not looking for male friends, please and thank you. gottago, ladies refuse to be played with cos these men will play you like an 8 track if you let them. stay woke in these streets, most of these grown boys are mad selfish

    • @evettematthews4083
      @evettematthews4083 3 роки тому +15

      You hit the nail where you posta sis.🙏🏾🖐🏾 I am being told that he is open to a relationship after we both work on ourselves more down the road... I do not believe him. He is lying.

    • @tashaequeen8935
      @tashaequeen8935 3 роки тому +16

      Very selfish yes they are. Smh

    • @tashaequeen8935
      @tashaequeen8935 3 роки тому +17

      It's funny because they will tell their homeboys or the new brood that your just mad because they don't want you. As to why you have an attitude. When in reality they hurt you. Smh

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 3 роки тому +9

      @@tashaequeen8935 facts, they stay lying and manipulating people and facts.

    • @nativechique7589
      @nativechique7589 3 роки тому +5

      Day 3 of NC to protect my own feelings after being "friends"

  • @reinaquisha9418
    @reinaquisha9418 3 роки тому +104

    The way I see it, if a taken man is trying to get with me, I couldn't trust him if and when he does become single because he's showing me that he has a low moral compass 💯

    • @reinaquisha9418
      @reinaquisha9418 3 роки тому +27

      If he isn't faithful to her, he's not going to be faithful to me.

  • @iconicsavage2327
    @iconicsavage2327 3 роки тому +381

    And he is correct, when a man wants, you will know... !

    • @micheleprice9771
      @micheleprice9771 3 роки тому +9

      SO RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT!

  • @breannn
    @breannn 3 роки тому +327

    That’s why I don’t believe in having friends of the opposite sex! So basically a female friend is just like a side chick almost.😂

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +29

      Basically

    • @StitchetyDoodah
      @StitchetyDoodah 3 роки тому +10

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @michelletiaraharris
      @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +15

      Yes basically!!!

    • @breannn
      @breannn 3 роки тому +34

      @@michelletiaraharris like having a female friend is no different than having another woman you are talking to on the side! You don’t always have to have sex, it can be an emotional affair.

    • @michelletiaraharris
      @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +57

      @@breannn exactly!! Just recently a guy who has been trying to be my friend told me "I won't lie, I'm attracted to you, we have chemistry and connection. Our conversations are great and you're an amazing woman. I can share and have conversations with you that I cannot even have with my lady". I was like hold up, this is where it stops bro! Enjoy your life

  • @lindseys5902
    @lindseys5902 3 роки тому +234

    This message is right on time! So many of us women get on the rites of passage track with men and never become their wife and then one day you look up and he's marrying someone else without hesitation. We gotta remember to love and respect ourselves and don't waste time on dead-end relationships.

  • @ginad8238
    @ginad8238 3 роки тому +507

    “There are no benefits to ‘friends with benefits’ “T.G.

    • @ginad8238
      @ginad8238 3 роки тому +2

      @@KINGDEVON16 ask T.G. why he made that statement..

    • @CaramelKissez
      @CaramelKissez 3 роки тому +11

      @@KINGDEVON16 be mindful of trolling under these post please.

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 3 роки тому +4

      none whatsoever

    • @sisis_eyes_wide_open
      @sisis_eyes_wide_open 3 роки тому +13

      Exactly! Don’t need that bacteria 🦠

    • @kayladaniel2814
      @kayladaniel2814 3 роки тому +4

      You give us strength and resolve!! Don't settle for less than you want! Or you won't get it!! ...SIMPLE

  • @denisemyers733
    @denisemyers733 3 роки тому +82

    Men put us in categories! Pay attention to this from the start. Slow him down. Stay off your back during this time tho. AND WATCH OUT FOR THE RED FLAGS. YOUR MIND IS NOT PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU TRUST YOUR INTUITION.....

    • @Nekole1
      @Nekole1 3 роки тому +6

      This is so true. They do.

    • @jalenpaulk2494
      @jalenpaulk2494 3 роки тому +10

      This is so true!! I’ve always trusted my intuition. A woman’s intuition never leads her wrong.🙏🏾

  • @kimberlycasimir5310
    @kimberlycasimir5310 3 роки тому +252

    Never give a man wifey privileges !!! when his action speak other wise. Let go and let god!

  • @strawberrycheesecake7912
    @strawberrycheesecake7912 3 роки тому +111

    Worst part is that you get attached to this guy who not there and you waste so much time being emotionally unavailable and blocking yourself from finding someone who can reciprocate

  • @aytiatarpley1591
    @aytiatarpley1591 3 роки тому +101

    I have been rejected, and I cut him off. Now I’m getting all type of unnecessary compliments from him. Don’t let these men play you sis. Your far more precious than rubies, so stop being treated like a ruby! I hope you caught that!

  • @samanthaharris5404
    @samanthaharris5404 3 роки тому +84

    Ladies, please listen to this. I was in love with same man for 10 years and he sure did get married, just not to me lol. I’m thankful that I was able to move forward and never be in that situationship again. Also, be careful cause even once their married, they will try to come back. The answer is noooo sir 😅.

    • @TheSpiritRoom23
      @TheSpiritRoom23 3 роки тому +17

      Agreed. Same thing happened to me and now he’s married and still asking to sleep with me😩 hell naw‼️‼️‼️

  • @lekeshial418
    @lekeshial418 3 роки тому +430

    My 12 yr old son just asked me,
    " Did you get your daily dose of Tony Gaskins?" 😂

    • @ktucker4083
      @ktucker4083 3 роки тому +27

      My children ask me the same thing every night.

    • @lekeshial418
      @lekeshial418 3 роки тому +28

      @@ktucker4083 they know our routine, lol. I usually make sure he's in the room or around, when TG does "man to man "talks on Fridays. My 17yr old daughter is getting lessons too😁

    • @kikikiki3216
      @kikikiki3216 3 роки тому +4

      Omg🤭☺️

    • @Coolct
      @Coolct 3 роки тому +5

      That is soooo sweeet!!!!

    • @lyfesaquarium
      @lyfesaquarium 3 роки тому +2

      Lol

  • @ruru9400
    @ruru9400 3 роки тому +132

    "I'm dating intentionally right now....okay, all right, see ya later!" 🤣🤣🤣

    • @janetholmes733
      @janetholmes733 3 роки тому +2

      Love it.
      Dating intentionally.....

    • @Brwngrly
      @Brwngrly 2 роки тому

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @sherrynelson365
    @sherrynelson365 3 роки тому +122

    Exactly you can’t be friends with the opposite sex and tell your business to them somebody will catch feelings Be wise!!!

    • @strawberrycheesecake7912
      @strawberrycheesecake7912 3 роки тому +12

      Why didnt yall tell me before i caught feelings

    • @brininahoward5445
      @brininahoward5445 2 роки тому +1

      You can definitely be friends with males, the key word is Friends, if you are having sex with this person, it is not your friend. Stop letting modern day society make up words. People having sex and not committed are called Fucking partners!!

    • @Valcey777
      @Valcey777 2 роки тому +2

      This is so true

  • @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165
    @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165 3 роки тому +171

    Pray for me y’all. I got caught up in a situationship with a friend who i had been friends with for 10yrs. I didn’t like him growing up but ended up falling for him more recently. He pretended like he wanted something serious but didn’t. I cut him off but now I’m left with a broken heart and a soul tie that has to be severed.
    **update: Dropped that thang, healed, and never looked back lol! I’m free, loving and living my life. I learned a valuable lesson from that situation and that is wait on God! Otherwise, it won’t be worth it no matter how familiar that person is.
    Hope this helps someone 💕

    • @lasheikatucker4598
      @lasheikatucker4598 3 роки тому +34

      Sis that was me a few years ago. My feelings were hurt and the soul tie ran deep. Out of nowhere he said he was with a woman and was going to get engaged 💍 I felt empty, used, questioned things about myself such as my looks etc. I had to remove him out my head and heart and reintroduce myself to my worth and values. It took time by I did it. If you can say his name and not feel anything, then you know your soul tie has been broken. Prayers to you

    • @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165
      @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165 3 роки тому +13

      @@lasheikatucker4598 thank you for sharing. I’ve been praying and have asked others to pray for me to have this tie completely broken for good. I praying for my heart to be healed and for thoughts and emotions to be completely cleared from him

    • @purplesoul9927
      @purplesoul9927 3 роки тому +9

      @@mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165 I'm in this as well. But my heart is shifting and I'm grateful it's not a sudden loss. But I'm growing out of it on my own. I prayed for change and I'm changing. I pray for a smooth transition for you as well. Things will work for your good if its truly what you believe YOU deserve. May you find strength to love YOU so deep this will be a distant memory 🙏😇❤

    • @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165
      @mybrwnisbeautifulhin1165 3 роки тому +4

      @@purplesoul9927 I receive this. Thank you

    • @letrice2892
      @letrice2892 3 роки тому +8

      I have been in that situation he became engaged as well and that fool actually told me he wanted both of us I said im good and wished him well it stung at first but I knew my worth I was reclaiming it I didn't care about the situation I focused on myself and thats the important part getting back to yourself bcuz we tend to lose just a lil bit of it going through the nonsense and taking accountability was key for me bcuz I saw signs that he and I werent going to progress so I can't blame him fully for things I think ppl always try to figure out where they went wrong in these situations but not focusing on how in the hell did they get there from the start bcuz that requires too much truth from ourselves and some ppl arent ready to be honest within themselves and that stops the healing process but one day your heart will heal beautifully and this will be a mere chapter of the past

  • @itsmetifft
    @itsmetifft 3 роки тому +211

    This gave me chills!! A word from the Lord!

  • @stargoldqueen5894
    @stargoldqueen5894 3 роки тому +27

    Oh my goodness! 😆
    "You don't know if they truly love you or loyal for you unless they had options".

  • @Mywatercrystaltv
    @Mywatercrystaltv 3 роки тому +65

    I honestly don't know how PHD women settle for GED men. Once I figured out my energy was being drained for years, I went on a 40day fast--- from him! It worked!!! 💃

  • @RoZzieAwake
    @RoZzieAwake 3 роки тому +78

    Waitttttt! I was listening and when I heard the skit about her not needing any male friends I looked up to see if he was going to grab the purse and keys and YALL, TONY WAS ALREADY GONE. lol... I swear we need to be that fast.

  • @michelletiaraharris
    @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +78

    Tony is telling the absolute truth!!! And this is why I refuse to let a man waste my time and be friends especially when he originally sought me out for attempting to date me!!! No sir I'm good we don't have to be friends go do that with your girlfriend or someone else.

  • @iamannettec
    @iamannettec 3 роки тому +101

    I feel like a true friend would not want to potentially disrupt or prevent you from your happiness. Also, any sane woman/man would not be happy with a single, attractive, woman/man being “best friends” with their man/woman. You just have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Boundaries are very important!
    I honestly believe a woman and a man cannot be “only friends”. I don’t believe that anymore. I used to, but every guy who claimed to have wanted to be my friend or best friend has tried to shoot their shot eventually lol

    • @JJ-vp3bd
      @JJ-vp3bd 10 місяців тому

      Are you single

  • @ertfgghhhh
    @ertfgghhhh 3 роки тому +92

    I think we watch too many movies/tvshows and believe them

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +13

      That’s my theory exactly. A lot of our conditioning comes from tv/movies.

    • @ertfgghhhh
      @ertfgghhhh 3 роки тому +14

      @@toriyt2714 and music.......

    • @studyingeducation8438
      @studyingeducation8438 Рік тому +1

      @@toriyt2714 true, sometimes I just want to see truly what kind of a friend you are before giving false hope. Can't be dating and building friendship at the same time that's energy draining.

  • @betterhealth1651
    @betterhealth1651 3 роки тому +102

    Tony is about to hurt my feelings lol

  • @alvaniquegaitor3709
    @alvaniquegaitor3709 3 роки тому +50

    The best thing was the man wasn't even husband material😂😂😂🙈🙈

  • @Realness4sho
    @Realness4sho 3 роки тому +38

    😳 I’d rather be Single, Celibate and Disease “Free” Before I ever allow this to happen or Settle again. Ladies/Men Stop the foolery and focus on God, Self Love and Total Celibacy Before your Next Encounter. Try 6 Months or More celibacy depends on your last entanglement!!! 💯💯💯🥰

  • @Pr_20
    @Pr_20 3 роки тому +50

    Nothing wrong with being mates with a male. Just don’t be silly enough to think he wants you as a wife. Treat him like you would any other friend

  • @roowens8799
    @roowens8799 3 роки тому +86

    You are sooo right Tony!
    If I didn’t see a guy as husband, he was immediately informed and put in the friend zone.
    ••Be careful how you handle it, some men do not handle rejection, period!
    My rejected person turned into a stalker and law enforcement had to get involved.

    • @katythebeauty330
      @katythebeauty330 3 роки тому +7

      @@CS-pl1re When you move out don’t let him know. Just pack your things and leave when he’s gone. Don’t let him know!

  • @taurahelms3068
    @taurahelms3068 3 роки тому +56

    "Let's see where this goes". RUN!

  • @angelat99130
    @angelat99130 3 роки тому +89

    Tony, you breaking it down like a fraction!!!🤣 This is sooo true...

  • @acurlyjourney9018
    @acurlyjourney9018 3 роки тому +73

    Tony, you just saved my life. Thank you!
    My best friend was trying to hook me up with an amazing man. Thing is... he said “I want to focus on my son for now” was his excuse when she mentioned him dating me. He also said he wants to go on a date for fun and see what happens. He also has 2 baby mamas and an ex-girlfriend who he helps financially and keeps them as “friends”. I almost got added onto his friends list and I am looking for a husband.
    Thank you again. You have amazing discernment and timing!

  • @asiaz248
    @asiaz248 2 роки тому +60

    My heart breaks for women who settles like this. Ladies you are worth so much more.

  • @enrichmentforgrowth8460
    @enrichmentforgrowth8460 3 роки тому +5

    Just took myself out of this exact situation you are discussing. What helped me is I always keep in the forefront of my mind that I have no room in my life for no other man than my husband who I have, ON PURPOSE, made room for.

  • @breanna7245
    @breanna7245 3 роки тому +90

    I love seeing Tony grab the fake purse! 😂😂😂

  • @siennamillerbroadcast
    @siennamillerbroadcast 3 роки тому +71

    This is why they call it " Cherry Picking"👌. Don't allow a man to cherry-pick and take only the pieces of you that he likes and wants...while picking other 🍒 cherries from other places.

  • @JustRella
    @JustRella 2 роки тому +75

    I just ended a 5 month “friendship” today, there were no benefits. So this video is right on time , Tony answered my question on IG a month ago. I told him the synopsis and he said “that man had a girlfriend and he is cheating on her. Move on!” I didn’t get the confirmation but my spirit knew! Ladies know your worth and add tax!

    • @childadvocate8374
      @childadvocate8374 2 роки тому +11

      Good 4 u. I just ended a seven month “friendship” yesterday. he texted me that he missed me but he had ghosted me for about 9 days. I did not respond and I will not respond. Unfortunate for him I found Tony Gaskins videos about a week ago. Unfortunate for me I didn’t find Tony Gaskins videos seven months ago. I could’ve saved myself a lot of regret & aggravation. HoweverI haven’t felt so peaceful in about…….seven months 😂

  • @nitaj_
    @nitaj_ 3 роки тому +109

    Facts! Hearing brutal honesty hurts less than knowing you were being lied too! We just want the truth.

  • @onelove4672
    @onelove4672 3 роки тому +221

    Men who manipulate situations end up being manipulated into a situation. Prime example, I dated a guy who had no kids and I had 3. He cheated with a younger girl who also had no kids. Made me feel like I was not able to keep up because I had to provide and be available for my children. Fast forward 7 to 8 years later, my 2 oldest are in college and my son is about to graduate high school. Meanwhile he took the bait to move to Atlanta (quick way to manipulate a man, they love upgrades) 5 children later. They're still not married. I'm in a place in my life where I can take trips and my children are old enough to contribute to the household. I guess the grass wasn't so green on the other side!

    • @Jas-qm4cg
      @Jas-qm4cg 3 роки тому +25

      Love your story! Yes the grass was definitely not greener on that other side

    • @onelove4672
      @onelove4672 3 роки тому +23

      @@Jas-qm4cg She literally purchased his love but now he's stuck. It was fun and games when he was getting the benefits.

    • @Jas-qm4cg
      @Jas-qm4cg 3 роки тому +10

      @@onelove4672 honestly that’s what he gets🤣

    • @adaofcharles1217
      @adaofcharles1217 3 роки тому +8

      Karma got her nails dirty, I love her b***hy pay back.

    • @onelove4672
      @onelove4672 3 роки тому +3

      😂definitely!!

  • @roxannejones5190
    @roxannejones5190 3 роки тому +25

    Walk AWAY! GOD GOT SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU. DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS. KNOW YOUR WORTH. THEIR IS A MAN WHO WANTS YOU FOR HIS WIFE. AND YOU WILL FIND HIM. PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD!

  • @ssavanahhh_
    @ssavanahhh_ 3 роки тому +104

    when they wanna be my friend only, i just let it be bc that probabaly means they aren’t good for me :/

    • @ssavanahhh_
      @ssavanahhh_ 3 роки тому +27

      meaning he doesn’t wanna title, I’m only 17 but I know unfortunately 😬

    • @aaliyahk6700
      @aaliyahk6700 3 роки тому +12

      Yes learn young so you don’t waste time

    • @michelletiaraharris
      @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +6

      Yes babygirl learn this stuff while you're young so you can save yourself the heartache later of wasting time!!

  • @jewelsafire6844
    @jewelsafire6844 3 роки тому +40

    Sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, fifths, sixths, sevenths, eighths, ninths, tenths, and so on & so forth🙄🤦🏽‍♀️. I'll pass on these SLOPS!😩✌🏽

  • @mbtilover3575
    @mbtilover3575 3 роки тому +15

    He said a man can look at you with a mask on and see your eyes and hair and know if your his wife. That was deep had to let that sink. It would be nice if you made a video going deeper into how a man feels and knows your his wife at first site

  • @bx3436
    @bx3436 3 роки тому +6

    How the guy treats you is how he shall continue to treat you. Don’t disrespect yourself like that. Move on and continue to love yourself, let the healing process begin . Break the soul ties, you are worth so much more beautiful 😍 🤩 😊 .
    Never be a side chick !!

  • @datchickvl4862
    @datchickvl4862 3 роки тому +57

    This is so true , friends with benefits always ends anyways .Then are feelings are a wreck !

  • @micheleantoinette8072
    @micheleantoinette8072 3 роки тому +47

    "I want a wife but, you ain't it!" Said TG.... this is so very true, this would save so much time.

  • @debbiepatterson6365
    @debbiepatterson6365 3 роки тому +69

    Am I the only one that kept looking at my phone throughout this video? It was as if Tony had a window to my past and was talking directly to me. I'm listening Tony - thank you for taking the time.🇨🇦🙏🏾

  • @carlashelton7682
    @carlashelton7682 3 роки тому +35

    Hey Tony! I am not that woman, but one thing I know if he leave his wife for another woman he will leave that woman for another woman and so on... I don't want nobody man or husband I think when God send you your husband/wife you are grace for that person. Everybody is not Grace to be with certain people.

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +3

      Right I was like noooo that is not how most women think and that GIRL was trippin.

  • @Kellergirl
    @Kellergirl 3 роки тому +85

    Tony, you are spot on. I've been there, and everything you said is 100% true.

  • @adaofcharles1217
    @adaofcharles1217 3 роки тому +52

    I am bringing my Nigerian sisters here, TG all the way.

  • @BeBeautifullyYou
    @BeBeautifullyYou 3 роки тому +81

    I have platonic male friends and that is perfectly understood between the two of us.
    Nothing else. When it starts to feel different, like he’s shifting his feelings towards something more, I distance myself or if need be, sever the friendship. Period.

    • @happywithin1008
      @happywithin1008 3 роки тому +21

      Just curious...if it starts shifting, was it ever truly a platonic friendship? From what you've described, the guy may just be following your lead for it to be platonic if you're always the one ending it when it shifts. I have males that I have known for years and in certain seasons we were indeed friends, and even those seasons they would insinuate things, that let me know if I wanted something to happen, they'd be down. I didn't fall for it because I valued friendship over lustship and fortunately knew the difference when a man genuinely is interested without the pretense of friendship.
      I have yet to experience or know heterosexual men and women who can remain 100% platonic friends, without one developing feelings or at minumum test flirting with the other.
      Also, when a woman comes into that man's life, especially as a wife, most of those male friends will shut that friendship with a woman down real quick. Not always because the man's new woman or wife is insecure, but because that woman/wife is trusting her intuition that's telling her the unspoken energy she sees between her man/husband and the female friend is not just platonic, even if the two have never had sex.

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 3 роки тому +26

      Y’all are not friends as long as you have a vagina and they have the male sex organ it is only a matter of time. Women and men are not friends I wish we would just be honest and accept that.

    • @petlee3965
      @petlee3965 3 роки тому +7

      @@toriyt2714 Exactly how I would put it. From now on, if aman has a female friend, I will cut him off right away without an explanation. That's my major cut off game

    • @BeBeautifullyYou
      @BeBeautifullyYou 3 роки тому +12

      @@toriyt2714 we’re friends. Some have been decades long friendships. I was speaking hypothetically, although there have been a few that I have had to block because they become insistent on trying something more. In my opinion, it’s harassing to me, but it would be misleading on my part if I danced around the situation. So, in all fairness and to be clear, I have had to end a few of those friendships. But, for the most part, I have truly platonic relationships with a few men friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 3 роки тому

      @@BeBeautifullyYou not bad, you can keep platonic friendships. Wow.

  • @yannabradshaw6496
    @yannabradshaw6496 3 роки тому +78

    The truth hurts but better to hear it from a man point of view

  • @angelalittle7522
    @angelalittle7522 3 роки тому +55

    Tony you are spot on!!! These so called “friends” have just been blocked. Never again. I deserve better.

  • @stephaniewebber9536
    @stephaniewebber9536 3 роки тому +57

    My partner of 6 years 3 kids with one on the way disappeared said ill be your friend or brother. Cut him off.

    • @Beauzesta
      @Beauzesta 3 роки тому +16

      Woah what a doosh. Feel for you and sending you much love, prosperity and healing xx

    • @Beauzesta
      @Beauzesta 3 роки тому +17

      Also this happened to my sister 18 years back and she started to live her best life. She’s now planning for her retirement and watching her kids turn into fabulous young men and women whilst she got herself a great career. Am sure you will fly high too x

    • @stephaniewebber9536
      @stephaniewebber9536 3 роки тому +7

      Yep. Done. Congrats to her glad shes winning. I cut him off he called dhs on me. I was like.

    • @stephaniewebber9536
      @stephaniewebber9536 3 роки тому +2

      No control. So. Petty? Ok.

    • @8lack8erry1
      @8lack8erry1 3 роки тому +7

      Such a messed up situation. I’m wishing you well on your pregnancy and your future ❤️

  • @beauti2thecore
    @beauti2thecore Рік тому +22

    This is true!! My ex Bestfriend told me that we was close friends because the conversations we had, he didn’t get from his girlfriend. Then he tried to have sex with me while having a girlfriend and told me that he didnt plan on leaving her. Welp we are no longer friends anymore 🤷🏾‍♀️ I want a genuine friendship ‼️

  • @UCTWEETY
    @UCTWEETY 3 роки тому +47

    I love when you begins grabbing your ear plugs & starts packing "fittinna" hit the road......

    • @sisis_eyes_wide_open
      @sisis_eyes_wide_open 3 роки тому +3

      Tony’s personality is pretty cool and love his sense of humor 😃

  • @iconicsavage2327
    @iconicsavage2327 3 роки тому +47

    I’ve been with plenty of family members that has told me time after time “I look up and the man is getting married”!

  • @StitchetyDoodah
    @StitchetyDoodah 3 роки тому +19

    From the beginning according to the Bible God’s plan was ONE man with ONE woman in the Garden. That was the original design and intent. There was no law or command forbidding multiple wives, but EVERY SINGLE ONE had terrible drama, turmoil, and unhappiness. Being fruitful and multiply can still have its fulfillment in one child because that child can then go on to have two children. So on and so forth. Maybe we don’t have to take that command so left??? Funny how everyone wants to take the command to be fruitful and multiply so seriously and extreme yet the command to not commit adultery, lie, or covet is barely glanced at. 🤔

  • @AndreaAnderco
    @AndreaAnderco Рік тому +25

    At minute 28 🤣 That’s exactly what I did. I told him I’m not looking for a friend, psychologist, pen pal, etc. and that there’s no platonic friendship between a man and a woman, goodbye! One of the best decisions of my life 😊

  • @outroseok
    @outroseok Рік тому +39

    "he knows you have feelings for him but because he does not want you he uses you as his escape, he uses you as his alternative energy/conversation" I NEEDED THIS, hard pill to swallow but I needed it. this guy who friendzoned me only reaches out to me when it's convenient to him and I need to put a stop to it, I need to stop being so available for him. (we are not fwb just "friends")

    • @zen_mindset1
      @zen_mindset1 10 місяців тому

      That's cold-hearted 😢

    • @morra_morra_
      @morra_morra_ 6 місяців тому +2

      Same situation! Glad that I realized and acknowledged it, but sucks that I allowed myself to be so blind to it. 😢

  • @lesj.7046
    @lesj.7046 3 роки тому +31

    Tony will tell you that man don't want you in a heartbeat! I remember the video where he told his own mother "Mama, that man don't want you!!" 😳😳😭😭💯

  • @jenniferwebb6741
    @jenniferwebb6741 3 роки тому +91

    These Talks with Tony give me so much knowledge! ❤

  • @tameciabracey7205
    @tameciabracey7205 3 роки тому +51

    This has to be one of my favorite videos. I’ve been in situations more times than I wanted to. Definitely, overlooked some great guys and wasn’t available emotionally. Instead, focusing on the flashy guy that didn’t think twice about me; hoping but knowing better. I’ve been single 3yrs now. It’s been very difficult watching these videos. I can’t believe how desperate I had become. I’m so happy I’m getting the knowledge and just focusing on myself. Shout out to The Breakfast Club. That interview with @tony has been life changing for me❤️

  • @nataliet.3023
    @nataliet.3023 3 роки тому +15

    No disrespect to anyone but a lot of this stuff is common sense and a two way street. If I just want to be a man's friend, that means I don't like him like that and I dont see him as anything more. So if a man were to do the samething to me, then that's the understanding I would get from that as well. It's nothing more to read into. The same way if I ghost a man. If I ghost a man, that's means I don't want anything to do with him. It shouldn't be a hard concept to grasp. Ladies think of all the times you friendzoned a man and why. It goes both ways.

    • @brininahoward5445
      @brininahoward5445 2 роки тому +3

      👌, Plain & Simple Common Sense. Why is the word Friend getting confused if it is a male.?.?

  • @Jasmyne444
    @Jasmyne444 3 роки тому +49

    I’ve always known this but this message freed me tonight from bondage I’ve been under for several years. Thank you Tony 🙏🏾

  • @summerdamra170
    @summerdamra170 2 роки тому +29

    U just saved me from a lifetime of heart break. My intuition knew something was wrong when a male friend of mine friendzoned me when I became honest of my feelings and then still maintained coy energy with me. "You gotta run" 🤣🤣 so true.

  • @trulyoptimistic3469
    @trulyoptimistic3469 3 роки тому +116

    Tony's analogy about cars in reference to women was spot on. Some men really view us that way smh. I was with a guy who wanted to keep sleeping with me, but refused to give me a title, he always had an excuse, I'm still in school (graduated and still making up stuff to say) like I'm not ready for a relationship. Well I'm not ready to continue this farse of a relationship. Three years ago I placed my self-esteem on my head and wore it like a crown, took my self respect and left him. I had to go nothing but peace ever since.

    • @lasheikatucker4598
      @lasheikatucker4598 3 роки тому +4

      Amen sis. We all have been in this situation but when you take power, and everything good in you from him and leave. It definitely gives you peace even if it hurts

    • @michelletiaraharris
      @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +2

      You go sis!!!

    • @letrice2892
      @letrice2892 3 роки тому +8

      🙌 nothing is more powerful than a woman knowing her worth

    • @michelletiaraharris
      @michelletiaraharris 3 роки тому +3

      @@letrice2892 I agree sis!!!!

  • @renitacody8841
    @renitacody8841 3 роки тому +3

    An excellent message! This message is the Truth.

  • @Rahkiya
    @Rahkiya 3 роки тому +21

    Your not his wife.

  • @lachellesimpson6727
    @lachellesimpson6727 3 роки тому +38

    Evertime Tony packs up to leave with "our purse"....I be over here in tears cracking up. "Thank you for the hat" 🤣🤣🤣 Lord have merrrrccccyyyy!

  • @jam1369
    @jam1369 3 роки тому +28

    The devil is a liar! Sin is always destructive period.

  • @yvette-yourfavoriteauntie247
    @yvette-yourfavoriteauntie247 3 роки тому +75

    I needed this video in 2018. This video just gut punched me, but I needed it 💯. Thank God, I did move on, but I was stuck for almost a year in the friend zone hoping for more. He was sending all kinds of mixed signals. 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @latoyaprince835
      @latoyaprince835 3 роки тому +7

      WOW..I was in a situation like this ever since 2018 as well. Easy getting in , seems so hard to get out. The chains are broken. I'm free!

  • @breewelch5982
    @breewelch5982 3 роки тому +20

    Get ya purse! Got to go! 🏃🏾‍♀️ no time for male friends.

  • @LadyAngela678
    @LadyAngela678 3 роки тому +6

    As I woman I wouldnt want a male friend. I hate sports, video games, and cars dont interest me. We’d have nothing in common. 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @JesusChrist-ke1lf
    @JesusChrist-ke1lf 3 роки тому +21

    Cuz hes not interesting in you

  • @monas
    @monas 3 роки тому +37

    T. G is hilarious 😂 "you just pull that out Rebecca? Put that in me ohh"

  • @dai5angel
    @dai5angel 3 роки тому +26

    From my experience when I was teenager, I had a guy who I used to hangout with playing video games and drinking. Not a good look at all. I ended up sleeping with him while I was drinking. I regretted it. I agree with Tony. Their is no way you can be friends with any guy because the more you spend time with your guy friend or friends. You are blocking your blessing.

  • @flydollronda1926
    @flydollronda1926 3 роки тому +20

    I can't wait to walk out on a man with my purse in hand just like that, Ima be laughin cryin doing my rendition of Tony Gaskins scene 🤣🤣🤣 He prolli gonna think I'm nuts

    • @foreverolly8864
      @foreverolly8864 3 роки тому +5

      When I talk to guys, the whole time I’m thinking, “ As soon as this nigga do something stupid Im grabbing my purse like Tony.” 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Brwngrly
      @Brwngrly 2 роки тому +2

      Same😂😂

  • @cheekscheeks5840
    @cheekscheeks5840 3 роки тому +28

    You are absolutely right ppl only think about themselves. Then when they threw with u or find someone else your the one stuck and hurt. NO MORE being your convenience period

  • @cheekscheeks5840
    @cheekscheeks5840 3 роки тому +21

    When a person truly LOVE you they will do nothing to hurt you period. So to hear those words without actions is a LIE to me

  • @victoriak.2707
    @victoriak.2707 3 роки тому +21

    Tony unfortunately you are are 150% correct, but good lesson learned, i hope young women find your channel because they can save a lot of heartache by believing your message.

  • @hopecousin6840
    @hopecousin6840 3 роки тому +32

    Every single woman need to watch this video. I've been following Tony Gaskins for a little over a year now and as a woman who never had long-term male figures to educate me about men, I've found that Tony is right about many of the things I've run into. Some of it is bitter to swallow, but he's a guy and knows how a guy thinks. Thank you Tony for taking the time and care to be our 'brother', telling us the truth, looking out for us, and keeping it real. Blessings to you and your family!

  • @dorisstokes2044
    @dorisstokes2044 3 роки тому +26

    I wish UA-cam would allow for Double Likes because this video needs to be at the top of EVERYBODY'S stream. 👍🏽👍🏽

  • @karamelbuttafly3624
    @karamelbuttafly3624 3 роки тому +50

    Again, Tony is 100% right. I had a conversation with a gentleman years ago, he was explaining this very thing of men having (using) multiple women for one reason or another. These dudes are users and shoppers only. Have you ever known a stray dog to walk away from free food or scraps? These type dudes are savages in the same sense of taking without regard.

  • @vhayashi7369
    @vhayashi7369 3 роки тому +12

    How do you build a good foundation for a marriage without friendship first? I'm not saying be friends forever but I can't be in a relationship without a friendship first. I don't do friends with benefits!

  • @briannamcspadden
    @briannamcspadden Рік тому +4

    I want a wife….. but you ain’t it 😂 LOL it stings buuut I can now take it at 32. Even better - Tony taught me how men say this on other ways. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! Imma save us both time and energy sugar plum 😉❤️💚💙💜

  • @love7loyalty-MHA
    @love7loyalty-MHA 3 роки тому +20

    Uncle Tony sprinkling all types of gems💎💎💎💎 💎 in this video. "Gem Sprinkler "

  • @jeaninedudley6538
    @jeaninedudley6538 3 роки тому +23

    I Love when Tony grabs his pretend pocketbook and leaving the situation. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @tennesseeminnissi2445
    @tennesseeminnissi2445 3 роки тому +18

    Been there, done that and never again!!! I wish I would have come across this years ago. Would have saved me a lot of time, tears and heartache.

  • @1221Grace
    @1221Grace 3 роки тому +16

    YES, YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT TONY, A GOOD WOMAN SHOULD NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS...EXPECIALLY IF A WOMAN HEART DESIRE TO HAVE A HUSBAND NOT A FRIEND 🤔🤔

  • @VintageAfro91
    @VintageAfro91 2 роки тому +20

    This is so true. I remember my roommate in college got into a friends with benefits situation and developed feelings for the guy and he blatantly told her, “You knew what this was when you got with me. Don’t switch up now.” Friends with benefits is only going to set us up to get hurt.

  • @teresaroquemore670
    @teresaroquemore670 3 роки тому +15

    It is needed for them to be honest because he has the women tied up and it does hurt her worst because her intuition is already telling her what u won’t and the lies and dishonesty and thinking u sparing her feelings makes things confusing and hurtful