When I refused to come to a man’s house for dinner and stay overnight. He said that no man would ever put a ring on my finger because I was being difficult. I laughed, and said boy please, that’s your hurt ego talking….any man would be blessed to be my husband.
One of my ex husband's jump offs thought she was something serious. Slept with him on the first night and did everything his wife wouldn't do in her words. He ended up leaving her high and dry and talking about her like a dog. She did the most for the least respect, in the end she found out she was one of many. Although she bragged that she was very experienced , he only appreciated her expertise until he didn't want her anymore. So being exclusive isn't enough, a man needs to marry a woman first and make sure he's God sent.
wendy2630 yeah still gotta make sure it’s the right man to marry because I have men in my family that marry women but talk about them like a dog even while still being married to them ( and they talk about their ex wife’s like dogs) like you said make sure he’s god sent
LADIES: Focus on living a FULL LIFE SINGLE. I just came back from a solo Vegas trip and meet two nice gentlemen and one took me out to dinner after meeting him during a dirt bike tour! Even if I never meet these dudes again, live a life of abundance! Fitness, meal prep, hobbies, travel, etc whether you got a man or not.💕💋
"Remove the desperation, the frustration, things that make you do too much, give too much, show too much. Just read and respond, let him do the talking." Amen Tony.
I mean its true tho. It makes me think about what people have said to me years ago. "Just be yourself" but ive noticed some want to "win" so much they will deceive. Honestly tho nowadays, love is a transaction. Real love is free.
What about reciprocating or being true to the energy he gives you. For me I don’t hold back on love. If you give me 50, I put in 50 but it seems men don’t like it that way. Maybe I should start holding back but it’s gon seem like I’m toxic. Relationship is hard.
I just met this man about a week and a half ago and I’ve have definitely been doing too much 😩 from today on... if he doesn’t call me won’t be talking and if he doesn’t text me or give me updates on what we are working on he won’t hear from me.
Hey ladies when I meet a man and he ask, "what are you looking for in a man" the best response for me has been "I am looking for a man to be exactly who he is so I can observe, then figure out if he is someone I want in my life." Say it sweet and with confidence. Works like a charm. 😉
So true I solely agree. I also notice women. That cling to men that have no jobs. Live with their Momma's. Some women have their own Apt. But get off work and go straight to his Momma's house. And lay up with him in his one room. 🤔 No way would I disrespect myself like that or his Mother home. They just have no self esteem.
I have a male colleague, who is in a relationship with a girl who is studying in another city. I asked him once how often do they meet. He told me, that every Friday, he drives 3 hours to her and early on Monday mornings, he comes back straight to work. And then you have men who tell their girlfriends , living in the very same city that they don't have time.
That was me. My husband was driving 4 hours every week before he transferred to the same city but even then he was driving 2 hours faithfully to see me. Never made excuses. He made the time. Even when we went tom2 different churches. He went to his service then left and met me at my my afternoon service. If they want you they will make the time and the effort.
The free love movement that started in the 60s has escalated to the point of what it is now. Men don't have to be faithful to a girlfriend or a wife,.. BECAUSE they don't even necessarily have to get a wife 😞.. because they don't have to wait to have sex for marriage,.. men would throwback their head and laugh at that outdated thought.😢😮😊 If women would just close their legs you might say then things could go back to men wanting women in marriage. However; something NOT new and perverse is happening that happened and was brought out in the Bible in Genesis, about Sodom and Gomorrah..😮 Men having sex with men. No longer a bizarre thought in many people's minds, a man will turn to another man in many cases if a woman will not put out.😊 Nobody it appears is thinking of the moral consequences. Guess what? GOD IS...HE IS THINKING ABOUT IT AND HE WILL HOLD ALL PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE THAT ARE IMMORAL. So why am I putting this comment on this particular place. Just so you know that it is all under control,..( nobody is getting away with anything) God is not letting anybody get away with anything that they shouldn't be doing. They/We will all answer to God on their/my judgement day.🎉❤
He was checking on me daily. Sometimes 5 times daily. Too excessive. Then he was asking for intimacy. Slow down buddy. I told him no. Now I think he so gonna ghost 👻
@melissacolon girl the same thing is happening to me right now 🙄. He said he didn't have a problem with it but he's not texting as often anymore. I know I deserve better and so do you!
I share his content with all of my sisters. Dad just doesn't know how to have these conversations because he still isn't ready for his babies to grow up.
Thanks to my grandma who taught me this when i was 16. She told me NEVER NEVER to chase a man bcoz i am the prize. Now im 30 and married to the most amazing husband on earth. One day i asked him why he decided to marry me from all the girls in the world, he said.. " because you made me EARN you. You never chased but i did and it made me fall in love with you bcoz it made me feel that im the man and i had to earn you." So ladies, NEVER chase. Let him do the job. He will realize your value and worth.
I met this guy at the gym and we had 2 dates. Initially he would call regularly but leading up to and on Valentine's day the calls turned to texts. Then the day after Valentine's he asked me to go to his place so he could cook breakfast or lunch. I suggested that we meet somewhere for lunch. He said he had been working all week and wouldn't feel like getting out. I said well I'm not ready for home visits. He proceeded to go off, by text message. Tried to shame me. Said I have trust issues and some more junk. He said we are both too old to have that mindset. I was like, I don't know you but you be well sir. Lol
So glad I found this video and channel at 21. I cleaned my exes room trying to prove to him I was wife material, never again!! This video was a huge wake up call thank you! I’ve been praying a lot and been celibate and I know God sent me this for wisdom. Amén!
I’m so glad you saw this at such a young age! You have definitely saved yourself years of hurt. Don’t ever try to earn love from a man (or anybody really). Women have been programmed to believe that we are lesser than men & need them to survive. We don’t. If a dude leaves, let him go! Rejection is protection. You’re still super young. Don’t trip off no boy. Use discernment and take your time. Have fun!
Me too Juliana, not giving up to no one for nothing. Only marriage is going to score this woman. That's the mistake that so many women are making they give them the one precious thing that they truly have to offer from the very depths of their being. And they give it in such a quick amount of time too. The guy doesn't have to work or want for nothing. Why should he marry her? He shouldn't and he won't.
I hate mind games. Whats wrong with loving someone and being true to urself. Not everyone wants to go beating around d bush. If i like u i like u. With all the protocols about being distance, etc. U still see rship crash. This doesn't work for everyone. Trust me.
Yeah it all is good when a man wants a women it really don't matter to some men they will know you are a woman that respectful will cook, clean responsible and faithful but will gets with a unfaithful player that will lay on her back fast! So you do have to be your authentic self! And let him earn your love.
My dad told us stories how he was a player. And never put us his daughters on game. Didn't protect us, I ended up bumping into men that were who he used to be.i had to learn completely the hard way. I am so happy you are out here being honest. God bless you and your family forever Amen.
Don’t be ashamed...you ain’t the only one...just take it as a learning experience. Most of us have learned this the hard way...but once you know...you know.
He lean over to kiss, he got the 19, he showing no symptoms, now you got the 19. You got respiratory issues *Clap* Now you going to meet the Lord. 🤣😂 Went From 0 to 100 real quick
If a man have to ask what you are looking for, he is not the one, he only want to know the acting role you want him to play so he can act like the one until he get what he wants from you.
A man was so mad at me, one time, because I just wouldn't cook - clean - and sleep with him. He told me that I would remain single because no one's doing what I'm doing now. I told him "the devil is a liar" I'm not doing anything like that and you can be mad all you want. He later said "I want to meet the man you'll marry and shake his hand." 😂😂😂
A man was so mad at me, one time, because I just wouldn't cook - clean - and sleep with him. He told me that I would remain single because no one's doing what I'm doing now. I told him "the devil is a liar" I'm not doing anything like that and you can be mad all you want. He later said "I want to meet the man you'll marry and shake his hand." 😂😂😂
For someone who’s NEVER HAD A FATHER! I want to say thank you ! Some of this seems so obvious I just never had a man explain this to me. I will definitely take this advice to heart and live by it.
Boys should be tought that!!!!! Wish my father had respected my mom so I could learn that early on, how to respect and value myself and not give myself away to any man. Also my brother woul have learnt to respect women.
i’m only 16 but i guess i’ll learn early🤷♀️ update: i’m turning 18 in a few days and i still listen to tony. he’s changed my life and i’m so grateful 😇
After hearing dont do this, dont do that....honestly, im tired. Dating is like taking the SAT. With all the preparations and studying, its so overwhelming. Maybe i should just stay single🤦🏽♀️🤷🏾♀️
Right, I get the essence of his message, don't be thirsty, however it comes across as some type of a game, where if you do this or that you can "win" a man, very Steve Harvey like. At the end of the day, love yourself and you'll attract what you reflect, you are the prize!
I don’t see it as a game. I think Tony basically teaches us that we have to love ourselves enough, just like everyone else tells us, the difference is he explains specifically what that means and how a woman that loves herself acts. 💗💗 he breaks it down beautifully
I think what it is is the fact that so many women are operating with no to very low standards that men don't have to work as hard and they think that all women operate the same. So they automatically come into a situation thinking they can try you.
Yes, it's like a man can be disrespectful and we have to play a game around it and can't be your true self. Thank God I'm happily married, but I didn't play all those games. I'm a giver, but directed by God. I let my husband know who I was from the beginning and he said that's what he loved about me, no games.💛✌🇱🇷
It's crazy true.... the moment the scales fell from my eyes, and realised that I GENUINELY didn't need/desire any man, and I was enjoying my solo (free) life (building friendships, travelling, working and pursuing my dreams, becoming healthy, being happy, etc)... it was THEN my now fiancé came into my life. Met him at work. I turned him down multiple times, because I genuinely was content with my life and being single. I couldn't be bothered with no man😂😂😂. The man should be THE ADDITION to your ALREADY- FULFILLING life. Your man should add/enhance your life....not subtract and distract you. You are the prize ladies. 🔑 🗝 🔐 💯👌🏾
I hollered when he said “he got that 19” 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂....TONY NEVER CEASES to MAKE me SCREAM IN LAUGHTER!!!! So I’m done saying “the Rona” ... it’s “that 19” 😂🤣😂
Exactly don't give too much of yourself in the beginning stages. Don't give your address or show where you live. I had a stalker 5 years ago & had to go to court for a restraining order. Please listen to Tony.
Amen, the other day i was thinking about marriage and i thought about the fact that my husband could show up tomorrow... so i asked myself if i was ready to be his wife..and the answer was no. So I told myself I would get myself together in the process of waiting
He just confirmed that everything I have been doing is the right way, despite being called old fashioned by some grown boys. God bless this man, his wife, his children and children's children.
HeyA Cher!!! Got dat right sis!!! You do move different when you kno you worths!!! I am so grateful for Tony's self love course!!! Have great day Cher.😌💃❤
So true Tee. Seems like a lot of our women (meloenated women) treat them as if we're their mothers (washing their clothes, cooking for them, watching their kids, having their babies) and get nothing in return.
Went on a date with a guy and gave him a church hug after the date. He made not of that and was offended. I normally don’t even hug on the first date, especially a sensual hug. Our communication fizzled out after that, and I was happy about that. I knew he wasn’t going anywhere because when he texted me, he would use “u” instead of “you”. That told me that he was lazy and likes to take shortcuts. “You” is already and short word and abbreviated it is again laziness.
This video makes me angry, not because I disagree with what you are saying, but because alot of us were disarmed before we even got in this whole dating game. Its one thing not to teach your kids these realities, but it another thing to disarm your kids and breakdown their small sense of self esteem and self worth because you as a parent are messed up. Thank you for teaching us these things Mr.Gaskins, at least somebody is willing to teach us right. I know its not to late for me but if I was prepared, I would have avoided a whole lot of embarrassment, humiliation, and heartache.
Thank you! I could not have said it better myself. I actually cried while watching one of his videos because I couldn't believe how wrong I had been doing things. I could have been in a great committed relationship had I known these things a long time ago
Gurl, were we raised in the same household or did our parents study the same manuscript, that encouraged them not to prepare us for life in a realistic way??
📢"A man earns you when he gives you his time when he doesn't have endless time to give you!" Shift your mindset, don't be desperate & remember that you are the prize!! 🎁
@@iamteresaspeaks Yes, consistency and kindness should be required from a man. He has to take action to make time when his time is limited in order for his authenticity & reliability to be shown.
Girl we have all talked too much... Me: “I am looking for a Christian man who will be a great husband and father in the future.” Man: “Oh, I am a great Christian man and will be a great husband and father in the future.” Also me: 🤦🏾♀️😅
I am a healthy single woman in her 40s, successful career, home owner, and biblically based in the way I live. I am extremely happy with where my life is going and the path ahead of me. I would love to have a companion, someone to love me and for me to love, a husband. It is sooooo difficult to find that one. What I have decided to do is pray a certain scripture, I have never spoke the scripture out loud, only prayed it on my heart. I have asked the Lord to put that scripture on the mans heart who he has set apart for me. That man will speak it to me. The God who created the whole world will make it happen when the time is right. I will be patient and excited when the time unfolds.
It’s all about changing our mindsets. Show up as your authentic self ALWAYS but we have to read these men and react accordingly. Dating is our way to chose the RIGHT partner based on these set of standards that Tony is hipping us to.
Women don't necessarily need a man. They're good to have if the relationship brings you peace. If it doesn't bring you peace, he's not from God. And most womens' mistakes and heartbreaks are due to not consulting God first about the man. I always say that a man will only reveal what he wants you to know about him, but God knows his heart. This is why we need God at the forefront of any relationship.
So glad my last relationship didn't work because I didn't know my worth then. I gained so much new knowledge watching your channel. My mindset shifted!
Mildred casseus i agree with you i was the same way before. Now my mind set has changed alot more. I learned alot by watching Tony videos he keeps it real truth. Im learning and growing im proud of my new knowledge mind set and i know my worth and value. Don't settle for less. God bless everyone.
@CoolJ Nah, you can just begin your life again by prioritizing yourself, your needs: emotionally, spiritually, sexually. You need to start there. Then, get excited about real discovering your authentic self and be a woman with self love, pride, and se,for respect, not to mention the confidence you will gain.... This is not a psss/fail system. Allow this to be a comassionate process met with patience, self love practice self compassion matched it with passion and be inspired. This is an adventure of self discovery. By doing these things... you will be armed with the knowledge of self.
@@chichisosweet2141 it's fine to feel like that. i felt the same way but i think you have to feel it all so you can be re-born. now i feel like a brand new woman. do things that bring you joy, help others and take care of yourself.
It’s okay! Just remember you’re not where you were yesterday. A new chance, a new opportunity to exercise your self worth. Sometimes we have go through things so that we know how feels and will never accept that again
@@FA9082 say who ? You ? God is in control of our life not humans who say its over...its not over until God say its over... Ur talking pure ignorance !!
As a a divorced women in my early 40’s with minimum dating experience, putting into practice the knowledge shared in this video will save me from future heartbreak and brokenness due to making poor decisions. Thank you, Tony! 🙏🏽☺️🙌🏽
Amen Sis! Thank you for this. I forgive myself for every behavior committed in ignorance and now I hold myself accountable to be better now that I have learned better.
Shoot that was really good. I can't believe I listened to the entire video. Tony was spitting some real truths. Opened my eyes, even though this was geared toward the women. If a man really wants a woman, he will put in the work. I can attest to that because when a man really want to be with someone, he'll go all out for that special lady.
Hahaha, i usually dread listening to these relationship videos, can be too serious sometimes, but this is my second Tony gaskins video and i feel so empowered and happy!
After just 10 months of marriage with verbal, mental and physical abuse , I thank God for this brother Tony . Watching his videos have pushed me to separate from my husband for the safety of me and my kids !! I’m going BACK HOME. 😭🏃♀️🙌🏽
Destanis Destiny yess. Know your worth and never let no piece of crap dishonor the lord by putting his hands on you. God loves you and you must love yourself. God bless
Good for you my sis….. May Jehovah bless and Cover you under his protective wings. I too am a survivor of Mental, Emotional and more so Physical abuse for 6 years. I knew when I had enough and I left. God is a good God!!!! We’ll be okay!!!!!
This makes me feel better about maintaining my standards as a young woman. Dating is a bit crazy out here and some people’s standards are so low. I even had to cut off female friends because they did wife things for men that weren’t even committed to them. I had a better selection of men that treated me better than them and they got jealous. A man is going to do what you allow him to do.
I am a woman over 50. This is the only way I know to do it. With that said, these men to include “Christian” men are pushing a whole different agenda. They want everything but marriage. I had to be content with my standards. If it’s meant to be, he will find me.
@@cynthiastevens8302 meeee tooo.. I have a drawer full of rings but.. I think they ask me as a last stich effort... and they won't take the dang ring back even when I say I don't know .. or no... its the craziet thing !!
@Von Austin a drawer full of rings?? Gurl. You betta write yo book! You sitting on a goldmine. Blk women especially have been sold a bunch of bunk that spot of us have absorbed and low key are afraid is true. You are clearly not having THAT problem. Lol
Mr. Gaskins, I’ve been single for over a year now. I’ve never went this long without being in a relationship or situationship. I’m so proud of myself, I’ve been doing the work: reading, watching videos and loving myself. I never thought I would be this happy being alone. God is Great.... I try to be the best person I can be daily.... continue to let God pour into you and you pour into us...God Bless you...
For a good amount of us, we wished we would have heard this message long ago to have avoided the hurt, anguish & humiliation but hearing it late rather than never helps to stop pressing the repeat button! I want to congratulate you for delivering this message and hopefully to those young ladies who will listen and follow your wise advice to avoid the sorrow of not being warned! God Bless You, child of God Tony!!✝️❤️
A man called me baby girl and I told him not to call me that because it makes me uncomfortable and that's what you call your significant other. He said everybody does that. I repeated I am uncomfortable with that.
What Tony said about what's "Wife Material" is on point! Women have been taught that being "domestic" is the most important trait that a Woman should have. I can cook, clean, etc, but I learned that what was important was my character, how good I took care of my PERSONAL hygiene. Regular dentist visits, my conversations were never shallow. I learned that a Man enjoys a Woman that can LAUGH, have fun, be comfortable around people she may not know (his family & friends). These things are endearing to a REAL Man. I have attracted more Men with confidence in myself and my worth. REAL Men won't expect these things of you. It's WAY deeper than cooking and cleaning. The older you get, the more you realize that integrity, honesty, confidence, and knowing more about the world around you than what happened on "Housewives of Atlanta or Love & Hip Hop" is VERY important. Being WELL ROUNDED is key! To this VERY day, everyone of my exes seeks me out and trust me, it's better to be HUNTED than being the HUNTER! GREAT advice Tony! 🎯🎯🎯
You are definitely talking about old school type of men!!!..this younger generation (these millennial and generation Z type of men 32 and below) move totally different from what you are discussing in this video. Had a man tell me I’m not crazy enough!!.. I’m like you are so use to toxicity you think it is sexy and I am not the one for you because I am too grown for that!
A man said that I didn't deserve good treatment because I didn't respect myself... I had no idea what he meant by not respecting myself, now I know thanks to Tony
I’m glad you know what he meant now, but for any human to feel this way about another is nasty. We all deserve respect at the least until proven otherwise no matter how you treat yourself
@@lexxie225 exactly these same people will turn around and show respect to rapist in the neighborhood ( inner cities on east coast), but not to nicer people that don't know how to respect themselves
Hearing All tony said I feel so ashamed of myself, I used to do all those things thinking it will keep a man, guess what I'm still single. Thank you so cause I'm going to get it right this time
I slept w my husband on the very first day and we married and lived happily ever after for 19 years until God took him away from me. So now in my age I do not care. If it comes naturally and I know and talk to the man for some time I will want him in some point Then only destiny will show if is for and I m for him. If I slept w him and he does not want me after that too bad for him. Something wrong with him. All these rules are for teenagers . Been married twice My rules work i know for sure. Cooking is a pleasure for man you love.
I always joke and say if I could take time back to age 20.... “No” would have been my favorite word..... “ Can I have your pho....” “NO!” “Why don’t you come ove....”. “NO!” “I need...” “NO!!!!!” “Can I borrow a...”. “NO!!!!” I’d be saying “NO” to everybody lol and give to those who, I actually see need time and help and not to those who guilted me in to giving to THEIR, needs at my expense... But that’s alright!! I’ve moved on
14:35😂😂😂 let him earn your love ladies if you want to have a husband. Don’t let these men run anything especially in the earlier stages. I pray for clarity , humbleness, and discernment over you all.
Brilliance !. Thankfully I had a Daddy who taught me these things, and It served me well. I have three grown sons, two of which are married now....ages 32, 36 and 38... And I can tell you, even though I tried my best to teach them that every woman they meet, is somebody's daughter, or somebody's sister....and even though they are Godly , good men, They have done exactly as Tony says. It has to be in the male genes, ladies. So women must adapt and do exactly as Tony says, if you want the love and family God would want FOR you. Blessings to you Tony. Every single woman deserves these teachings !
This is exactly what God has allowed me to start learning, and I have tried to tell other women, and they argued me down. Thank You, God, I am getting it and You are teaching me. Thank you for being a vessel Tony. Keep up your ministry beloved. 🖤
@@ericae1066 UA-cam algorithm saving us all. Even after learning the better way I still do some "dont's" 🥴 like talking too much! It' s a learning curve
Treating him like a married man until HE express monogamous interest is the guideline I’ve been looking for. Now it’s crystal clear and I know exactly what [NOT] to do. Thank you so much.
That’s so funny: “I slide down the pole, I sing on the microphone... “OMG! Real talk! LOL! You mighty good juggling balls! SMH! I so need this lesson. Thank GOD for Tony Gaskins! This is such a blessing to hear... Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us to help us become better women. It’s hard to hear, but needful!
I was 25 years old, now Im 56..my older male cousin told me to mirror a man no matter how I felt about him and that I wouldn't go wrong I honestly didn't quite understand it then as I do today, recently with this ghosting behavior which is new to me I've had to learn the hard way if a man goes ghost let him be a ghost. TG💯
I'm in my late 40s. When i was younger and dating, it wasn't so many rule, regulations, time stamps and all this stuff. If a man wanted you, he wanted you regardless of how many children you had, how many men you had or how quickly you let him get it. If you gave it to him the first night..if he wanted you, he married you. If you waited 5 months then gave it to him, if he didn't want you he didn't. You young people today got some real issues with all these policies, rules and regulations. Y'all may as well be writing manuscripts and questionnaires before dates. Just be yourself ladies. Respect yourself. Be safe. But live your life. Not based off what a man going to grade you on.
Azuriah you're right. I will just have to be myself otherwise I will die alone and end up buried with a dead mouse that's what they do where I come from. Thank you so much for the advice
@Ase Kavy I disagree for the very key component Tony constantly mentions: social media and the internet. Not only do they not make men they way they used to, but the average men has access to excess due to the way social media can be manipulated. You could even be getting cheated on with a catfish! It’s a whole different ballgame for women of this current generation
That's how it was back in the day nowadays they meet them at the club tonight and they living together tomorrow next thing you know she 24 running around with for baby and three baby Daddy's because no one's teaching them
Most men overlook ladies who have flaws it is like they want a perfect woman nothing out of place. Well I can't blame them they are GROWN -BOYS!!!!!. I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️.I LOOOOOOVVVVVE ME😊😊😊😊 always
i am still learning to be Imperfect. i sadly grew up with a father who put me down a lot and expected me to be perfect. i have a difficult time with the cleaning and cooking part because it was expected to have the house neat at all times. and sadly I placed my worth on cleaning and keeping my house clean now I am BURNT OUT! I also put all my worth on looking perfect and being perfect a little chaos is okay now and then(healthy chaos that is)
@@keyanna2633 Just accept yourself for you who are which include looks , charaacter, personality, Give yourself time nothing is done overnight.Not being able to cook does not make you less of a woman becuz u can learn if you desire to do so. Once you see where you need a change in your life that is a great start. Dont ever let no one make you feel inferior.
Whew! It was hard for me to listen to this from beginning to end bc I’ve done so many of the wrong things! I now feel like I have the tools to start making better decisions for myself. This video right here was right on time 👏🏽👏🏽
Do a message on keeping hope alive Tony. I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was pretty nice, but he thought i had two heads when I told him I wasn’t ready to go to his house but that I would love to continue hanging out with him and know him some more. He took that as me being uninterested when I really was. He stopped contacting me the next day. Another one was bothered that I didn’t let him in my place after three dates. He ended that the next day. Another fella accused me of acting like a young teenager, almost childish, because I didn’t sleep with him on the third date. And when I told another dude I’m still interested in getting to know him further before being too physical , he went down the list of activities we’ve done (5 with barely any phone convos) as if I should know him “enough” at this point 🤦🏾♀️. And now he’s 👻!That’s the battle we’re fighting out here Tony. Your next message should be on HOPE LOL because lord I’m loosing it and I’m only in my mid 30s...the rejections sting each time. And I’m like “my goodness, these guys are spoilt by loose b👀ties.”
Sis, all those men were dusty grown boys, that’s why they reacted that way. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You actually did all the right things, however it seems like you may be attracting men who aren’t on your level.
That’s why I hate dating but I needed to hear other testimony . My last relationship after years of being in a toxic relationship I went in doing to much and settling I was always running over to his house straight doing Netflix and chill helping him buy food. I thought cause he was a single father and I was a single mother and I knew him from my past but he didn’t know my worth.
Having a man teach you these things is priceless. My dad wasn’t around and my mother didn’t bring other men around her kids. She just worked everyday. I had 3 brothers growing up so by time I got to the dating world I had soooo much to learn. I wish I would have known these things as a young girl.
When I refused to come to a man’s house for dinner and stay overnight. He said that no man would ever put a ring on my finger because I was being difficult. I laughed, and said boy please, that’s your hurt ego talking….any man would be blessed to be my husband.
Yes they try to gaslight and manipulate you when they can’t easily get what they want ! Smh atleast you knew your worth and didn’t give it up to him
Yasssss! Love how you shut his weak ass down with that as it’s clear that his motive was sex
He was trying to make you doubt your morals. How nasty.
Bravo girl. U shudve added one more line. "Pls get me a diamond ring n a new model iphone n then im all urs baby".
Amen
Stop doing the most for a man that you are not exclusive with
Denise Harper even when exclusive it’s still not yet the time to be doing the most.
@@toriyt2714 how is that possible when your friends before a relationship
One of my ex husband's jump offs thought she was something serious. Slept with him on the first night and did everything his wife wouldn't do in her words. He ended up leaving her high and dry and talking about her like a dog. She did the most for the least respect, in the end she found out she was one of many. Although she bragged that she was very experienced , he only appreciated her expertise until he didn't want her anymore. So being exclusive isn't enough, a man needs to marry a woman first and make sure he's God sent.
wendy2630 yeah still gotta make sure it’s the right man to marry because I have men in my family that marry women but talk about them like a dog even while still being married to them ( and they talk about their ex wife’s like dogs) like you said make sure he’s god sent
Leslie Chung did you watch the video
Give him the same energy he's giving you..
I'm about to do that to my boyfriend. Almost a year, and now he's acting stupid.
@Lovely me same here you’re not alone my sister been telling me about this guy in the video I wished I did at the first time
Just leave him. Matching negative energy with a toxic person doesn't work
Yup
Yeeeeeeesss
LADIES: Focus on living a FULL LIFE SINGLE. I just came back from a solo Vegas trip and meet two nice gentlemen and one took me out to dinner after meeting him during a dirt bike tour! Even if I never meet these dudes again, live a life of abundance! Fitness, meal prep, hobbies, travel, etc whether you got a man or not.💕💋
Yes 🙌🏽 please ‼️
I endorse this campaign lol
Thks, I need some excitement in my Life. Solo Trip sounds Fabulous..
Yesssssssss 🤗💕🤗✨
We as part of the blessed tribe, should all make it a girls trip next time 🖤
"Remove the desperation, the frustration, things that make you do too much, give too much, show too much. Just read and respond, let him do the talking." Amen Tony.
I mean its true tho. It makes me think about what people have said to me years ago. "Just be yourself" but ive noticed some want to "win" so much they will deceive. Honestly tho nowadays, love is a transaction. Real love is free.
What about reciprocating or being true to the energy he gives you. For me I don’t hold back on love. If you give me 50, I put in 50 but it seems men don’t like it that way. Maybe I should start holding back but it’s gon seem like I’m toxic. Relationship is hard.
Amen xxx
I just met this man about a week and a half ago and I’ve have definitely been doing too much 😩 from today on... if he doesn’t call me won’t be talking and if he doesn’t text me or give me updates on what we are working on he won’t hear from me.
💯
Hey ladies when I meet a man and he ask, "what are you looking for in a man" the best response for me has been
"I am looking for a man to be exactly who he is so I can observe, then figure out if he is someone I want in my life."
Say it sweet and with confidence. Works like a charm. 😉
Woooow... I never thought of this. Thanks for sharing sis
Love it. Thanks!!
Good answer
Love this! Thanks☺
I love it, so gonna use it.
“What you let a man do shows how you value yourself”
So true I solely agree. I also notice women. That cling to men that have no jobs. Live with their Momma's. Some women have their own Apt. But get off work and go straight to his Momma's house. And lay up with him in his one room. 🤔 No way would I disrespect myself like that or his Mother home. They just have no self esteem.
This was incredible ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
👋🏽
Jeanine Okpala i
Love that
I have a male colleague, who is in a relationship with a girl who is studying in another city. I asked him once how often do they meet. He told me, that every Friday, he drives 3 hours to her and early on Monday mornings, he comes back straight to work. And then you have men who tell their girlfriends , living in the very same city that they don't have time.
That was me. My husband was driving 4 hours every week before he transferred to the same city but even then he was driving 2 hours faithfully to see me. Never made excuses. He made the time. Even when we went tom2 different churches. He went to his service then left and met me at my my afternoon service. If they want you they will make the time and the effort.
@@Nitra813 Yes, if they want you, they will put effort to make it work. If they don't want you, they will put effort to make exuceses.
The free love movement that started in the 60s has escalated to the point of what it is now.
Men don't have to be faithful to a girlfriend or a wife,.. BECAUSE they don't even necessarily have to get a wife 😞.. because they don't have to wait to have sex for marriage,.. men would throwback their head and laugh at that outdated thought.😢😮😊
If women would just close their legs you might say then things could go back to men wanting women in marriage.
However; something NOT new and perverse is happening that happened and was brought out in the Bible in Genesis, about Sodom and Gomorrah..😮 Men having sex with men.
No longer a bizarre thought in many people's minds, a man will turn to another man in many cases if a woman will not put out.😊
Nobody it appears is thinking of the moral consequences.
Guess what? GOD IS...HE IS THINKING ABOUT IT AND HE WILL HOLD ALL PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE THAT ARE IMMORAL.
So why am I putting this comment on this particular place. Just so you know that it is all under control,..( nobody is getting away with anything) God is not letting anybody get away with anything that they shouldn't be doing. They/We will all answer to God on their/my judgement day.🎉❤
😳😭 I'm done✔
I always felt like if a guy was interested in me he would check on me daily.
Exactly! I am not going to be anyone option. If I am not a priority I do not want to be bothered.
Hello somebody!!! 🙌🏾 Thank you!!
He was checking on me daily. Sometimes 5 times daily. Too excessive. Then he was asking for intimacy. Slow down buddy. I told him no. Now I think he so gonna ghost 👻
@@Scorpio12348 Let him ghost!👻 If he comes back, your voice mail will answer his call. No time for bs😎
@melissacolon girl the same thing is happening to me right now 🙄. He said he didn't have a problem with it but he's not texting as often anymore. I know I deserve better and so do you!
A man needs me, I am the prize
So true a man needs me im the prize
Tracy Davis yes❤️
keep thinking your the prize...it’ll only lead to no man wanting to finish the race
@@cjlanier3864 have a great day
😂😂😂😂
This is the talk every father needs to give his teenage girl.
All men need to have this conversation with their daughters of all ages I think. He is speaking the truth!
But never do
I share his content with all of my sisters. Dad just doesn't know how to have these conversations because he still isn't ready for his babies to grow up.
His future daughter is very lucky
I had that talk and still bumped my head. 🤕
"A man needs me..& I'm the prize" I feel like women need to be told this from a young age, instead of feeling like we need a man
Exactly
Why do I treat him like this but NOT myself.
This is great
They need us and we need them. It's just been more promoted on the woman side...
Thanks to my grandma who taught me this when i was 16. She told me NEVER NEVER to chase a man bcoz i am the prize. Now im 30 and married to the most amazing husband on earth. One day i asked him why he decided to marry me from all the girls in the world, he said.. " because you made me EARN you. You never chased but i did and it made me fall in love with you bcoz it made me feel that im the man and i had to earn you." So ladies, NEVER chase. Let him do the job. He will realize your value and worth.
But man coach say to Man To not chase a women ,woman coach say To not chase a Man , so am confuse
Gugue Nyathi Beautiful story. Thanks!
That is awesome. I like hearing the man what really happened
lavidavi it’s so true
Bullybuc I promise I hope you get blocked.
I don’t understand why my dad never taught me any of this .. could have save allot of heartaches
citygirl212 check out The Daddy Daughter talk by RCBlakes
Mine never did either. Had to learn everything the hard way.
He was running this same game on your mom
Yes Lord, agreed....
Rember the old golden rule love dont hurt love is kind love is...
Now u fill in ur blanks queen sistah we 2 sharp 2 play becky
I met this guy at the gym and we had 2 dates. Initially he would call regularly but leading up to and on Valentine's day the calls turned to texts. Then the day after Valentine's he asked me to go to his place so he could cook breakfast or lunch. I suggested that we meet somewhere for lunch. He said he had been working all week and wouldn't feel like getting out. I said well I'm not ready for home visits. He proceeded to go off, by text message. Tried to shame me. Said I have trust issues and some more junk. He said we are both too old to have that mindset. I was like, I don't know you but you be well sir. Lol
Class act!! 👌
Good for you! You didn't let him manipulate you.
Well done Kellie.
Thats it. You dont know if he is crazy. You get over there, you do something to set him off, then he locks you up in his basement. Smart move!!!
Proud of you Sis! 🤗
So glad I found this video and channel at 21. I cleaned my exes room trying to prove to him I was wife material, never again!! This video was a huge wake up call thank you! I’ve been praying a lot and been celibate and I know God sent me this for wisdom. Amén!
I’m so glad you saw this at such a young age! You have definitely saved yourself years of hurt. Don’t ever try to earn love from a man (or anybody really). Women have been programmed to believe that we are lesser than men & need them to survive. We don’t. If a dude leaves, let him go! Rejection is protection. You’re still super young. Don’t trip off no boy. Use discernment and take your time. Have fun!
Me too Juliana, not giving up to no one for nothing. Only marriage is going to score this woman.
That's the mistake that so many women are making they give them the one precious thing that they truly have to offer from the very depths of their being. And they give it in such a quick amount of time too. The guy doesn't have to work or want for nothing. Why should he marry her? He shouldn't and he won't.
Me too 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Being young and knowing this is gonna help you so much 💜
How old are you now?
A man shows you who he is eventually
Always.
@Angel Herron same here I feel so bad we can't allow ourselves to be authentic with a man anymore they just use everything against us
I hate mind games. Whats wrong with loving someone and being true to urself. Not everyone wants to go beating around d bush. If i like u i like u. With all the protocols about being distance, etc. U still see rship crash. This doesn't work for everyone. Trust me.
Always
Yeah it all is good when a man wants a women it really don't matter to some men they will know you are a woman that respectful will cook, clean responsible and faithful but will gets with a unfaithful player that will lay on her back fast! So you do have to be your authentic self! And let him earn your love.
"If you got respiratory issues.. you going to meet the Lord." 😂😂😂 Lmao... the truth will set you free
Best line of the video.... I screamed and rewinded that part 10 times
🤣🤣🤣
And he called the virus “the 19”...I’m done 🤣🤣🤣...his advise is sooo good tho!!!
Natasha Nolan 😂😂😂😂🤣
😂😂😂
Every girl should have a brother like this.
Fathers should be like this
I am 73 years old and I am impressed with the down-to-earth conversation of this man thank God for you
Spring valley for real!!!!!
Father, uncle, cousin, friend
This info should be coming from your dad if he's part of your life.
My dad told us stories how he was a player. And never put us his daughters on game. Didn't protect us, I ended up bumping into men that were who he used to be.i had to learn completely the hard way. I am so happy you are out here being honest. God bless you and your family forever Amen.
Same sis, same 💯
❤
Watching this makes me feel shame for my past actions. This is very insightful
Don’t be ashamed...you ain’t the only one...just take it as a learning experience. Most of us have learned this the hard way...but once you know...you know.
I like the saying, "When you know better, you do better." There's so much self-compassion in that. ♥️
We live and learn no need to feel shameful Queen now we know moving forth. I'm learning as well and getting through a situation.. very insightful
No repeating same mistakes
I feel you. I cringed many times like damn, I can’t believe I did that
He lean over to kiss, he got the 19, he showing no symptoms, now you got the 19. You got respiratory issues *Clap* Now you going to meet the Lord. 🤣😂 Went From 0 to 100 real quick
😂😂😂
Hahahahaha
I was hoping someone wrote this, man brought tears to my eyes 😂🤣😂🤣😭
I am dyin' laughin'
Lol
Tony is right! I’ve always heard “what are you looking for in a man” is code for “what do I have to do to sleep with you”... sounds about right 🤷🏾♀️
Shauna Yup
If a man have to ask what you are looking for, he is not the one, he only want to know the acting role you want him to play so he can act like the one until he get what he wants from you.
A man was so mad at me, one time, because I just wouldn't cook - clean - and sleep with him. He told me that I would remain single because no one's doing what I'm doing now. I told him "the devil is a liar" I'm not doing anything like that and you can be mad all you want. He later said "I want to meet the man you'll marry and shake his hand." 😂😂😂
A man was so mad at me, one time, because I just wouldn't cook - clean - and sleep with him. He told me that I would remain single because no one's doing what I'm doing now. I told him "the devil is a liar" I'm not doing anything like that and you can be mad all you want. He later said "I want to meet the man you'll marry and shake his hand." 😂😂😂
@@michelewilliams1764 Sound like a str8 bum...mad because you aint a damn fool..he want boyfriend benefits wit no effort..sounds about right
For someone who’s NEVER HAD A FATHER! I want to say thank you ! Some of this seems so obvious I just never had a man explain this to me. I will definitely take this advice to heart and live by it.
I have a Father and I still married an abusive man because no one still explain me that they are wolves in sheep’s clothes out there.
@nancythinks9159.. I totally agree with you. I was just saying how I thank God for this internet brother.
People like him are a blessing
Any man who values a woman would create time to spend, court her properly while respecting her boundries.
its simple really...if he does not invest ...he is there to take
Yes
Boys should be tought that!!!!! Wish my father had respected my mom so I could learn that early on, how to respect and value myself and not give myself away to any man. Also my brother woul have learnt to respect women.
Preach!
Amen!
Ladies...... Listen to this man. He giving free game out in these last days ❤
Amen
You so funny
Last days 😂.....yep!
This is not game to me
HeirnBell I laughed at last days too 😆
i’m only 16 but i guess i’ll learn early🤷♀️
update: i’m turning 18 in a few days and i still listen to tony. he’s changed my life and i’m so grateful 😇
You're very lucky to learn this this young.
😭😭😭
Yes girl pay attention
Pay attention Baby Girl - save yourself some heartache!
I wish I did!
attention all ladies, watch this over and over again until it STICKS!!!
I wish I knew Tony earlier, he's an amazing coach
After hearing dont do this, dont do that....honestly, im tired. Dating is like taking the SAT. With all the preparations and studying, its so overwhelming. Maybe i should just stay single🤦🏽♀️🤷🏾♀️
Right, I get the essence of his message, don't be thirsty, however it comes across as some type of a game, where if you do this or that you can "win" a man, very Steve Harvey like. At the end of the day, love yourself and you'll attract what you reflect, you are the prize!
for 2020 -- might be a good idea :)
Riight I was thinking the same thing. Ain’t nobody got time for these games. If two people like/love each other let’s show it.
I don’t see it as a game. I think Tony basically teaches us that we have to love ourselves enough, just like everyone else tells us, the difference is he explains specifically what that means and how a woman that loves herself acts. 💗💗 he breaks it down beautifully
A lot of men approach dating as a game.
It's important to be hip to it so that you can protect yourself.
Sounds like guys go in with disrespect. I don’t have time to be a mother keeping them in check. It’s ridiculous
I think what it is is the fact that so many women are operating with no to very low standards that men don't have to work as hard and they think that all women operate the same. So they automatically come into a situation thinking they can try you.
Exactly. 1st sign of being tested he is cut! I don't want a man who isn't whole and coming to me reckless.
Maya's Channel exactly I already am raising 3 boys! I don’t need another one! I’d rather stay alone. I’m good
Asia Wilmore very very well said 💫
Yes, it's like a man can be disrespectful and we have to play a game around it and can't be your true self. Thank God I'm happily married, but I didn't play all those games. I'm a giver, but directed by God. I let my husband know who I was from the beginning and he said that's what he loved about me, no games.💛✌🇱🇷
This man is heaven sent.
Tony Gaskins kudos to you.
Amen
💯
Agree with you!! 👏🙌
Facts only
Factsssss. This video is meant for me 😂
It's crazy true.... the moment the scales fell from my eyes, and realised that I GENUINELY didn't need/desire any man, and I was enjoying my solo (free) life (building friendships, travelling, working and pursuing my dreams, becoming healthy, being happy, etc)... it was THEN my now fiancé came into my life. Met him at work. I turned him down multiple times, because I genuinely was content with my life and being single. I couldn't be bothered with no man😂😂😂. The man should be THE ADDITION to your ALREADY- FULFILLING life. Your man should add/enhance your life....not subtract and distract you. You are the prize ladies. 🔑 🗝 🔐 💯👌🏾
"Keep it cordial for the first 10 dates". Such great advice!
Benny Hue not if he really wants you
Benny Hue based on the UA-cam videos you watch, you fear women and being cheated by them. You have a skewed view of all women
I hollered when he said “he got that 19” 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂....TONY NEVER CEASES to MAKE me SCREAM IN LAUGHTER!!!! So I’m done saying “the Rona” ... it’s “that 19” 😂🤣😂
I will only say that 19 going forward
Felicia Finished The Book same 😂😂😂
Lol lol lol...my spleen hurt! That 19....
Right lol black folk always nicknaming something 😆
I did too lmbooo
Exactly don't give too much of yourself in the beginning stages. Don't give your address or show where you live. I had a stalker 5 years ago & had to go to court for a restraining order. Please listen to Tony.
🙌🏽🙏🏽
I went through this too. You're right. 👍🏾
Same.
Glad your ok, I'm newly single and am not looking forward to the dating drama, lol.. God Help us All !!!
@@lashawnward340
Thanks for the well wishes
Amen, the other day i was thinking about marriage and i thought about the fact that my husband could show up tomorrow... so i asked myself if i was ready to be his wife..and the answer was no. So I told myself I would get myself together in the process of waiting
He just confirmed that everything I have been doing is the right way, despite being called old fashioned by some grown boys. God bless this man, his wife, his children and children's children.
A M E N
I get the same thing, they tell me I move to slow… 🤦🏾♀️
Are y’all married yet?
@@QChannel-r2p Are you??
No, they are irritated they can't use you or play you for a fool. @@dominiquelove1825
When you know your worth you move different. You're worthy Queen! Bless up blessed tribe! 💫✨
Preach!!
HeyA Cher!!! Got dat right sis!!! You do move different when you kno you worths!!! I am so grateful for Tony's self love course!!! Have great day Cher.😌💃❤
@@CoachHC Amen
@@CoachHC 🌸❤
@@coachnatishamommatish144 Hey love! You're right! His teaching really does change you. 🌸❤
Mirroring is crucial.. Don't over extend yourself. Amen! This is very important. Thank you for this great message.
Very very important
It's so true. Some women do too much.
I hear another guy say the same thing but he said it like this, "give a man the same energy he gives you".
So true Tee. Seems like a lot of our women (meloenated women) treat them as if we're their mothers (washing their clothes, cooking for them, watching their kids, having their babies) and get nothing in return.
Tee Key so true I guess this can also apply to other relationships
Went on a date with a guy and gave him a church hug after the date. He made not of that and was offended. I normally don’t even hug on the first date, especially a sensual hug. Our communication fizzled out after that, and I was happy about that.
I knew he wasn’t going anywhere because when he texted me, he would use “u” instead of “you”. That told me that he was lazy and likes to take shortcuts. “You” is already and short word and abbreviated it is again laziness.
And disrespect!!!
This video makes me angry, not because I disagree with what you are saying, but because alot of us were disarmed before we even got in this whole dating game. Its one thing not to teach your kids these realities, but it another thing to disarm your kids and breakdown their small sense of self esteem and self worth because you as a parent are messed up. Thank you for teaching us these things Mr.Gaskins, at least somebody is willing to teach us right. I know its not to late for me but if I was prepared, I would have avoided a whole lot of embarrassment, humiliation, and heartache.
Ew chile... amen!
Well, thank God for another chance to get it right. We can love again. This time the right person in due season.
Thank you! I could not have said it better myself. I actually cried while watching one of his videos because I couldn't believe how wrong I had been doing things. I could have been in a great committed relationship had I known these things a long time ago
Right
Gurl, were we raised in the same household or did our parents study the same manuscript, that encouraged them not to prepare us for life in a realistic way??
📢"A man earns you when he gives you his time when he doesn't have endless time to give you!" Shift your mindset, don't be desperate & remember that you are the prize!! 🎁
Demetria Calvin 💯
Amen sis🎯
Time ain't earring me. Consistency and kindness, just be the MAN. period.
@@iamteresaspeaks Yes, consistency and kindness should be required from a man. He has to take action to make time when his time is limited in order for his authenticity & reliability to be shown.
👏🏽💯
My mistake was that “I talk too much.” I have most definitely nipped that in the bud. I was blind & now, I see.
Crowned Virgo May you elaborate!?
Girl we have all talked too much... Me: “I am looking for a Christian man who will be a great husband and father in the future.”
Man: “Oh, I am a great Christian man and will be a great husband and father in the future.”
Also me: 🤦🏾♀️😅
Truth!
that is me right now, I am learning now to enjoy the quite moments.
I’m guilty of this too 🤦🏻♀️
I am a healthy single woman in her 40s, successful career, home owner, and biblically based in the way I live. I am extremely happy with where my life is going and the path ahead of me. I would love to have a companion, someone to love me and for me to love, a husband. It is sooooo difficult to find that one. What I have decided to do is pray a certain scripture, I have never spoke the scripture out loud, only prayed it on my heart. I have asked the Lord to put that scripture on the mans heart who he has set apart for me. That man will speak it to me. The God who created the whole world will make it happen when the time is right. I will be patient and excited when the time unfolds.
This is soooo beautiful. I think I will try this
Wow!!! Amen to this❤🎉. Well said!
I'm so tired of relationships! Why the hell is it so complicated. This is giving me anxiety.. I just want to be myself.
It’s all about changing our mindsets. Show up as your authentic self ALWAYS but we have to read these men and react accordingly. Dating is our way to chose the RIGHT partner based on these set of standards that Tony is hipping us to.
@@truthseeker44 go for a walk order food delivery and eat it at the park. Any outdoor activities
I'm definitely feeling the same way . I innerstand *BREATHE*
Women don't necessarily need a man. They're good to have if the relationship brings you peace. If it doesn't bring you peace, he's not from God. And most womens' mistakes and heartbreaks are due to not consulting God first about the man. I always say that a man will only reveal what he wants you to know about him, but God knows his heart. This is why we need God at the forefront of any relationship.
Yes I agree it’s different when your a natural flirt & don’t realize your flirting until your doing it.
So glad my last relationship didn't work because I didn't know my worth then. I gained so much new knowledge watching your channel. My mindset shifted!
:)
Mildred casseus i agree with you i was the same way before. Now my mind set has changed alot more. I learned alot by watching Tony videos he keeps it real truth. Im learning and growing im proud of my new knowledge mind set and i know my worth and value. Don't settle for less. God bless everyone.
Amen!!!!! I really appreciate this eye opening information
Same girl! I made a lot of mistakes! I know my worth now.
Mmmm so true
Feel like I have to learn how to be a woman all over again lol
Its like a investment in yourself
We are the prize ladies, not the other way around. Men know this and will try to tweak it, but don't let em.
Agreed!!!
I feel that way too. :(
@CoolJ Nah, you can just begin your life again by prioritizing yourself, your needs: emotionally, spiritually, sexually. You need to start there. Then, get excited about real discovering your authentic self and be a woman with self love, pride, and se,for respect, not to mention the confidence you will gain.... This is not a psss/fail system. Allow this to be a comassionate process met with patience, self love practice self compassion matched it with passion and be inspired. This is an adventure of self discovery. By doing these things... you will be armed with the knowledge of self.
This makes me so sad because I didn't know I was doing everything wrong. I feel used and trashed. I wish I knew this when I was youngee
You still have a beautiful life ahead of you, sweetie. You are precious...remember that everday.
I do too. For days I felt like trash and used and it’s my fault 🤦🏿♀️
@@chichisosweet2141 it's fine to feel like that. i felt the same way but i think you have to feel it all so you can be re-born. now i feel like a brand new woman. do things that bring you joy, help others and take care of yourself.
Trial and error baby girl
It’s okay! Just remember you’re not where you were yesterday. A new chance, a new opportunity to exercise your self worth. Sometimes we have go through things so that we know how feels and will never accept that again
Gosh, I needed this 2 months ago!!! Still learning at 37...smh
Congrats! You're ahead of the game. I didn't Awaken until I was 55. Keep Shining!
Still learning at 39 dont worry 😂
@@FA9082 say who ? You ? God is in control of our life not humans who say its over...its not over until God say its over... Ur talking pure ignorance !!
Don't feel bad.. I'm 48!!! It's NEVER too late to learn!!
I am still learning at 41.. I haven't dated in two years.. I know the game has changed alot ,so I think I will take my time this go round..
Oh lord I was talking to this guy and REALIZED I WAS TALKING TO MUCH. All I could here was TONY in my head & shut my mouth...
😂😂😂😂😂
Same lol
🤣🤣😂😂😂 we got the same problems..
feb piscean lol 😆 I know what you mean. I experienced that before.
Right done told this ____ but my ssn smh
I am 54 years old female and everything this young man is saying is true...,.ladies, ladies please listen!!!!
I’m 72…ladies please listen!!! 🤗
Thank you OG
@@JonahzsaTerry Well, I don't think Tony is 'Old'. So technically he is not an O.G. He probably is forty-one or younger?
But, he is somewhat wise.
Yes! This is so true
As a a divorced women in my early 40’s with minimum dating experience, putting into practice the knowledge shared in this video will save me from future heartbreak and brokenness due to making poor decisions. Thank you, Tony! 🙏🏽☺️🙌🏽
This! I'm mid 40s divorced after 16yrs. Had no idea some of this stuff.
I’ve been dating wrong for years! 😩🥴. Thank god for new knowledge! Definitely taking time off from dating this year just to grow as a woman!
Whitney Hampton 19 stopped the dating already
Thank God you smart and young, I am 50 wishing I knew💗💗💕
Mee too sis im 31
I forgive myself for how I behaved before I knew better. Now that I know better, Ima do better 🙏🏼 Thank you Tony.
Excellent advice!!
Amen Sis! Thank you for this. I forgive myself for every behavior committed in ignorance and now I hold myself accountable to be better now that I have learned better.
Amen me too ❤
Class is in session , you took us to school on this one
Annette Solomon Agreed sis!! I was like, “Check, did that wrong. Yep, that one too! Even this one!” Damn 😧😣
Right🤔
For real!! Idk how I even got here but I’m subscribed now 🙏🏽
@@SabievannessaVanne Me too
@@beaustique9712 Yes. Same here
Shoot that was really good. I can't believe I listened to the entire video. Tony was spitting some real truths. Opened my eyes, even though this was geared toward the women. If a man really wants a woman, he will put in the work. I can attest to that because when a man really want to be with someone, he'll go all out for that special lady.
I believe this and this is how we know.
Don't play yourself bro, ain't worth it!
Wise man!
Is anyone laughing while watching this !!
Dude your personality is A1!!
Thanks for teaching me something
Girl!!! He has me rolling on the damn Florida sometimes.....
Girl when he said you going to meet the lord cuz you got respiratory issues and got that 19, I almost fell out.
Harlem Globetrotters! He is too much.
Hahaha, i usually dread listening to these relationship videos, can be too serious sometimes, but this is my second Tony gaskins video and i feel so empowered and happy!
Mindset is everything
After just 10 months of marriage with verbal, mental and physical abuse , I thank God for this brother Tony . Watching his videos have pushed me to separate from my husband for the safety of me and my kids !! I’m going BACK HOME. 😭🏃♀️🙌🏽
Destanis Destiny yess. Know your worth and never let no piece of crap dishonor the lord by putting his hands on you. God loves you and you must love yourself. God bless
Are you okay? 🙏
Good for you my sis….. May Jehovah bless and Cover you under his protective wings. I too am a survivor of Mental, Emotional and more so Physical abuse for 6 years. I knew when I had enough and I left. God is a good God!!!! We’ll be okay!!!!!
I’m happy for you love. Get on ur bike & pedal like hell back to safety.
Hey Destanis, just saw this was a year ago. How are you doing now. Are you safe
This makes me feel better about maintaining my standards as a young woman. Dating is a bit crazy out here and some people’s standards are so low. I even had to cut off female friends because they did wife things for men that weren’t even committed to them. I had a better selection of men that treated me better than them and they got jealous. A man is going to do what you allow him to do.
This is so true
Tony just taught me how to get a husband without giving the flower up.
Getting married has always been so easy for me its choosing the right one that's my problem.i always meet men that want to get married.
@@cynthiastevens8302 give me your life sis😹😭
I am a woman over 50. This is the only way I know to do it. With that said, these men to include “Christian” men are pushing a whole different agenda. They want everything but marriage. I had to be content with my standards. If it’s meant to be, he will find me.
@@cynthiastevens8302 meeee tooo.. I have a drawer full of rings but.. I think they ask me as a last stich effort... and they won't take the dang ring back even when I say I don't know .. or no... its the craziet thing !!
@Von Austin a drawer full of rings?? Gurl. You betta write yo book! You sitting on a goldmine. Blk women especially have been sold a bunch of bunk that spot of us have absorbed and low key are afraid is true. You are clearly not having THAT problem. Lol
Absolutely. Give him no more than what he gives you. Wait for him. I messed up before and was the only one reaching out.
Mr. Gaskins, I’ve been single for over a year now. I’ve never went this long without being in a relationship or situationship. I’m so proud of myself, I’ve been doing the work: reading, watching videos and loving myself. I never thought I would be this happy being alone. God is Great.... I try to be the best person I can be daily.... continue to let God pour into you and you pour into us...God Bless you...
Me 4yrs
me 7yrs, 37 yrs old and still willing to wait until the Lord blesses me with the right man. Have worked a lot on myself and still learning.
@@Blueberry-ij4de God Bless you and We WILL GET WHO GOD HAVE FOR US!!!
Me going on 2 years and I am so proud of myself. I have peace like never before.
For a good amount of us, we wished we would have heard this message long ago to have avoided the hurt, anguish & humiliation but hearing it late rather than never helps to stop pressing the repeat button! I want to congratulate you for delivering this message and hopefully to those young ladies who will listen and follow your wise advice to avoid the sorrow of not being warned! God Bless You, child of God Tony!!✝️❤️
A man called me baby girl and I told him not to call me that because it makes me uncomfortable and that's what you call your significant other. He said everybody does that. I repeated I am uncomfortable with that.
Ew.
@@AllieMaggie4 Thank you! My birth name is unique and beautiful. I take pride in being called by my name.
@@AllieMaggie4 😊
@xwinniez Thank you.
i feel the same way about names like that
I stopped auditioning for a role I was created to play...I'll wait! Thanks Tony you always speak that real talk!
Tamika Harris MESSAGE!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
What Tony said about what's "Wife Material" is on point! Women have been taught that being "domestic" is the most important trait that a Woman should have. I can cook, clean, etc, but I learned that what was important was my character, how good I took care of my PERSONAL hygiene. Regular dentist visits, my conversations were never shallow. I learned that a Man enjoys a Woman that can LAUGH, have fun, be comfortable around people she may not know (his family & friends). These things are endearing to a REAL Man. I have attracted more Men with confidence in myself and my worth. REAL Men won't expect these things of you. It's WAY deeper than cooking and cleaning. The older you get, the more you realize that integrity, honesty, confidence, and knowing more about the world around you than what happened on "Housewives of Atlanta or Love & Hip Hop" is VERY important. Being WELL ROUNDED is key! To this VERY day, everyone of my exes seeks me out and trust me, it's better to be HUNTED than being the HUNTER! GREAT advice Tony! 🎯🎯🎯
Being "domestic" is a trick word. They don't know better 🤷♀️ Do I know how to cook? How about me helping you save yourself from you? 🙄🙄🙄
I stopped watching all shows that have ratchetness in them. I couldn't take it
@Molly Rivers THANK YOU. 😊
This is aligned with the scripture that includes, "A man" that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing💜
“Stop doing the most” 👊🏼🔥🔥🔥
Lol
"Jugglin these balls like the Harlem Globetrotters!!!" Tony I'm learning and hollering at the same damn time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!!!
that took me out!! lmaooo!!!
I CANNOT 💀
Oh lordy Lord
lololo
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are definitely talking about old school type of men!!!..this younger generation (these millennial and generation Z type of men 32 and below) move totally different from what you are discussing in this video. Had a man tell me I’m not crazy enough!!.. I’m like you are so use to toxicity you think it is sexy and I am not the one for you because I am too grown for that!
Girl, u can say that again 😂😂😂n they always go for the crazy ones
This lol omg
I agree totally with u
It's because we've lowered our standards.
Thank you!!
A man said that I didn't deserve good treatment because I didn't respect myself... I had no idea what he meant by not respecting myself, now I know thanks to Tony
Still a very nasty thing to say
I’m glad you know what he meant now, but for any human to feel this way about another is nasty. We all deserve respect at the least until proven otherwise no matter how you treat yourself
@@lexxie225 exactly these same people will turn around and show respect to rapist in the neighborhood ( inner cities on east coast), but not to nicer people that don't know how to respect themselves
"You going to meet the lord" took me out 😅😅😅
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 I hollered so hard when he said it 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂I thought I was the only one
A man needs me!!!!!! Yes indeed!,,,
Hearing All tony said I feel so ashamed of myself, I used to do all those things thinking it will keep a man, guess what I'm still single. Thank you so cause I'm going to get it right this time
Don’t feel shamed when one know better the will do better
@@nafeeshatarver1007 Thank you so much 💖
Many of us have..its ok..that's why we're here learning..
Don’t be ashamed hun, it happens to the best of us.
I slept w my husband on the very first day and we married and lived happily ever after for 19 years until God took him away from me. So now in my age I do not care. If it comes naturally and I know and talk to the man for some time I will want him in some point Then only destiny will show if is for and I m for him. If I slept w him and he does not want me after that too bad for him. Something wrong with him. All these rules are for teenagers . Been married twice My rules work i know for sure. Cooking is a pleasure for man you love.
Thank you for your godly advice and wisdom
Wow...how dumb I have been. Lord knows I need a do-over 😂
Me too lol
You’re not dumb Bae. It’s just that nobody ever taught us women any of this.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me too!
I always joke and say if I could take time back to age 20.... “No” would have been my favorite word..... “ Can I have your pho....” “NO!”
“Why don’t you come ove....”. “NO!”
“I need...” “NO!!!!!” “Can I borrow a...”. “NO!!!!”
I’d be saying “NO” to everybody lol and give to those who, I actually see need time and help and not to those who guilted me in to giving to THEIR, needs at my expense... But that’s alright!! I’ve moved on
I wish I knew all of this before I got my heart broken 💔
Same girl
Me too! 😔
14:35😂😂😂 let him earn your love ladies if you want to have a husband. Don’t let these men run anything especially in the earlier stages. I pray for clarity , humbleness, and discernment over you all.
Brilliance !.
Thankfully I had a Daddy who taught me these things, and It served me well.
I have three grown sons, two of which are married now....ages 32, 36 and 38...
And I can tell you, even though I tried my best to teach them that every woman they meet, is somebody's daughter, or somebody's sister....and even though they are Godly , good men,
They have done exactly as Tony says.
It has to be in the male genes, ladies.
So women must adapt and do exactly as Tony says, if you want the love and family God would want FOR you.
Blessings to you Tony.
Every single woman deserves these teachings !
Tony your impression of how women talk and smack their lips is HILARIOUS.
i agree with you 100 percent --the way Tony rolls his eyes!!! LOL
"If you ain't gat an hour a day to give you shouldn't be dating" ..i felt that
I needed this 20 yrs ago 😩😩
Girrrllll, say that again!!!!!
Girl, it's never too late to date high value men
I know most of what he's said. Lol, I have been treated very well by most men.... I have had more blessings with most of my experiences with men.
Exactly 🤦🏽♀️
I needed this 40 years ago and am 27😩😩😩😩😩
This is exactly what God has allowed me to start learning, and I have tried to tell other women, and they argued me down. Thank You, God, I am getting it and You are teaching me. Thank you for being a vessel Tony. Keep up your ministry beloved. 🖤
Damn!! I did ALL THE “DO NOT” and the relationship ended so fast but I’m so glad though cuz he was crazy too!! I’m good now. I can follow these rules.
I’m a bit disappointed because I did all of the “do not” to someone who I had genuine interest in 🤭
Sis, I believe most of us have, not just you. 😩 I'm glad this video was suggested on the feed.
@@ericae1066 UA-cam algorithm saving us all. Even after learning the better way I still do some "dont's" 🥴 like talking too much! It' s a learning curve
🤣🤣🤣🤣who team you played on 🤣🤣🤣
Aquafina ready🤣🤣🤣🤣
Treating him like a married man until HE express monogamous interest is the guideline I’ve been looking for. Now it’s crystal clear and I know exactly what [NOT] to do.
Thank you so much.
Brilliant!!
A bunch of games. Need to take a whole course to figure out these damn men.
😂😂😂😂
Man!!!!
Believe it or not, that’s how is men feel about women!😂
🤣🤣🤣
Alot of work. In essence act half way like you could careless and he'll be sniffing around
I’m 19. I’m so grateful I can learn all of that and forgiving myself and doing better without mistakes. ❤️
That’s so funny: “I slide down the pole, I sing on the microphone... “OMG! Real talk! LOL! You mighty good juggling balls! SMH! I so need this lesson. Thank GOD for Tony Gaskins! This is such a blessing to hear... Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us to help us become better women. It’s hard to hear, but needful!
Reese Luxe AMEN
I was 25 years old, now Im 56..my older male cousin told me to mirror a man no matter how I felt about him and that I wouldn't go wrong I honestly didn't quite understand it then as I do today, recently with this ghosting behavior which is new to me I've had to learn the hard way if a man goes ghost let him be a ghost.
TG💯
I wish my father had given me this advice. My life would have been so..... different. No use crying over spilt milk, learning now.
Thank God for UA-cam!
Same. Check out RC Blakes Jr too
I know that’s right!
He not lying about nothing ladies don’t fall for it
We must mirror a man’s behavior.
I refuse to be dictated by any person....
I'm in my late 40s. When i was younger and dating, it wasn't so many rule, regulations, time stamps and all this stuff. If a man wanted you, he wanted you regardless of how many children you had, how many men you had or how quickly you let him get it. If you gave it to him the first night..if he wanted you, he married you. If you waited 5 months then gave it to him, if he didn't want you he didn't. You young people today got some real issues with all these policies, rules and regulations. Y'all may as well be writing manuscripts and questionnaires before dates. Just be yourself ladies. Respect yourself. Be safe. But live your life. Not based off what a man going to grade you on.
Yes but you have to give it time to know if he wants you or not before you start doing the most!
Azuriah you're right. I will just have to be myself otherwise I will die alone and end up buried with a dead mouse that's what they do where I come from. Thank you so much for the advice
@Ase Kavy I disagree for the very key component Tony constantly mentions: social media and the internet. Not only do they not make men they way they used to, but the average men has access to excess due to the way social media can be manipulated. You could even be getting cheated on with a catfish! It’s a whole different ballgame for women of this current generation
Azuriah's Closet now that’s true too✨
That's how it was back in the day nowadays they meet them at the club tonight and they living together tomorrow next thing you know she 24 running around with for baby and three baby Daddy's because no one's teaching them
🤣🤣🤦🏽♀️😩🤣 Tony said How you know he don't got the 19?” 👀🚨💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
😂
Gurrrrl funny but true
Lol lol
This is Golden, thank you.
Most men overlook ladies who have flaws it is like they want a perfect woman nothing out of place. Well I can't blame them they are GROWN -BOYS!!!!!.
I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️.I LOOOOOOVVVVVE ME😊😊😊😊 always
i am still learning to be Imperfect. i sadly grew up with a father who put me down a lot and expected me to be perfect. i have a difficult time with the cleaning and cooking part because it was expected to have the house neat at all times. and sadly I placed my worth on cleaning and keeping my house clean now I am BURNT OUT! I also put all my worth on looking perfect and being perfect a little chaos is okay now and then(healthy chaos that is)
@@keyanna2633 Just accept yourself for you who are which include looks , charaacter, personality, Give yourself time nothing is done overnight.Not being able to cook does not make you less of a woman becuz u can learn if you desire to do so. Once you see where you need a change in your life that is a great start. Dont ever let no one make you feel inferior.
Nope! they run away from "perfect" women too 😅
@@shaneekaraybe4919 Can you look pass my unemployment???
Whew! It was hard for me to listen to this from beginning to end bc I’ve done so many of the wrong things! I now feel like I have the tools to start making better decisions for myself. This video right here was right on time 👏🏽👏🏽
I hope ur doing better Tamara. Its never too late my Love.
Same 🤦🏽♀️
Me too 🤦🏽♀️ been doing it all wrong 😑 but I would of still made a good wife either way
Do a message on keeping hope alive Tony. I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was pretty nice, but he thought i had two heads when I told him I wasn’t ready to go to his house but that I would love to continue hanging out with him and know him some more. He took that as me being uninterested when I really was. He stopped contacting me the next day. Another one was bothered that I didn’t let him in my place after three dates. He ended that the next day. Another fella accused me of acting like a young teenager, almost childish, because I didn’t sleep with him on the third date. And when I told another dude I’m still interested in getting to know him further before being too physical , he went down the list of activities we’ve done (5 with barely any phone convos) as if I should know him “enough” at this point 🤦🏾♀️. And now he’s 👻!That’s the battle we’re fighting out here Tony. Your next message should be on HOPE LOL because lord I’m loosing it and I’m only in my mid 30s...the rejections sting each time. And I’m like “my goodness, these guys are spoilt by loose b👀ties.”
G.Voice Contact lmao this right here!!!! This is me too 😫
Sis, all those men were dusty grown boys, that’s why they reacted that way. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You actually did all the right things, however it seems like you may be attracting men who aren’t on your level.
kindnessness You make valid points!
That’s why I hate dating but I needed to hear other testimony . My last relationship after years of being in a toxic relationship I went in doing to much and settling I was always running over to his house straight doing Netflix and chill helping him buy food. I thought cause he was a single father and I was a single mother and I knew him from my past but he didn’t know my worth.
You’re right when you said: Spoilt by loose booties. The younger chicks give it out too easily. Don’t lose hope girlfriend 💓
Having a man teach you these things is priceless. My dad wasn’t around and my mother didn’t bring other men around her kids. She just worked everyday. I had 3 brothers growing up so by time I got to the dating world I had soooo much to learn. I wish I would have known these things as a young girl.