ADHD in Women vs Men (..and why it can be Harder for Women)💡
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- Опубліковано 3 тра 2021
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Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is denoted by impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity. Although ADHD is perceived to be most commonly diagnosed in boys during childhood, there are many stereotypes that are attached to this disorder that make it difficult for girls and women to be diagnosed with ADHD. This video highlights common misconceptions of ADHD that leave women largely undiagnosed and the potential implications of these misconceptions.
ADHD can be very different depending on wether you are a woman/femal or a man/male, what subtype you have and it can actually be harder for women to get diagnosed, since they usually have the inattentive ADHD sub-type, which is a lot more difficult to notice from the outside.
DISCLAIMER: Please note that I am not a licensced therapist/psychologist and that I derive all of my recommendations from my own experiences with ADHD and/or publically available information. If you have ADHD please always consult with a therapist first.
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Diagnosed with ADHD at 28 this year. Always struggled with inattentiveness, impulsiveness and severe rejection sensitivity. I had no symptoms of hyperactivity. Was told as a child that I had dyslexia (I didn't) and that I was overly sensitive. Peers told me I was a spaz because I would become so overwhelmed in social settings that it would lead to manic type behavior (super happy or super depressed). Biggest relief of my life to finally have a diagnosis that makes sense of all the behaviors I've been criticized for my whole life.
I just totally read about myself.....thank you im not alone
I could have written this word for word, I even got diagnosed this year at 28
I was told it's just a label and if I wanted therapy to deal with it myself. I've always exhibited neurodivergent stimming and fits of rage and or crying. I've never quite fit in anywhere but I'm often told I have a lot of charisma, before I mess it all up and reveal my anxiety and possesiveness of course.
You are just fine. Congratz with your superpower. And I mean this, its a gift.
I was called spaz my entire grade school life & never understood why .. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 36yrs old. A lot of wasted time.
As someone with Inattentive ADHD that went undiagnosed until my 30s, I can relate to some of the challenges getting diagnosed that women experience.
Diagnosed at 40
Just diagnosed at 36 and a Mum of three kids. It's taken me over a decade of going back and forth to my GP asking why I was struggling so much. At the end of the day, I went to them with results of a self assessment. They didn't even spot it. You have to fight for yourself!
Hugs! I was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago and right before my 35th birthday. I’ve got two kiddos, and it’s been 20 years of being told I was Bi-Polar, had generalized anxiety, and depression. Amazingly enough, when I quit my bi-polar meds 8 years ago I didn’t spiral. The last 5 years I’ve been on anxiety and depression meds. One day on Adderall, and my life changed. I’m glad you are getting treatment now! I think those of us who have been really good at “masking” have a harder time getting diagnosed.
Did they diagnose you after you showed your self assessment?
@@braveimposter no no, I got put on a waiting list for a year, which was short, and had a formal assessment with two psychiatrists who ruled out lots of other possibilities
I feel that people generally have little empathy for adults with ADHD. But I've found that most people have _zero_ empathy for women with ADHD.
I have epilepsy, inattentive ADHD, dyspraxia, frequent migraines, and pretty significant depression and anxiety. They're all related. Yet, when I say I have epilepsy, people say 'Oh , I'm sorry,' and when I say I have ADHD, I catch them rolling their eyes. For me, my seizures are a nuisance but my ADHD is debilitating.
Most of the time I blame my symptoms on epilepsy or dyspraxia to avoid saying the term 'ADHD.'
You have multiple conditions that affect cognitive function. You can say that and they have no need to know the specifics unless you choose to share. Hugs! I hate that people are so judgy.
I suspect I have undiagnised ADHD as a woman and was many times bullied and called not womanly because of my impulsive behaviour, I have almost no friends and single.
Sounds like the story of my life.
34 male and single all my life, just chill sister.
In tears. I’ve known I have ADHD. It was almost a joke that I took your test… on EVERY test I score off the charts absolutely having ADHD. But because I’m ‘successful’… people discount my struggles. I own my own business. I’m a portrait artist. I have 4 children and a good marriage. But I don’t fit in. Anywhere. I’m constantly losing things and disorganized. But I’m fun to be around… so no one sees the tears.
I laugh a lot at my shortcomings… because that’s easier than being vulnerable about the fact that I don’t complete tasks and I’m disorganized.
Until today… when I stumbled on your channel… I’ve always joked about my adhd… but I never thought there was actually help available… I never thought that at 40 years old… there was anything I could do to make my brain’ slow down’ so that I can focus better… be a better mom…wife… friend…
I’m binge watching videos now while I’m working on an art project… and although I’m crying… I’m hopeful. For the first time in a long time… that I don’t have to feel like a screw up… forever.
Thank you for taking the time to make videos that are informative. You’re impacting a life. And to me… it’s incredibly helpful.
Thank you so much Heather for taking the time to write that. I truly wish you all the best.
With the hormones mixed in, our ADHD symptoms are amplified like 10 times! Definitely not fun :)
My respect goes out to u!
Yeah definitely!!!
Yes, at 68 I have found my symptoms increased and needed to have my HRT adjusted, adding in Testosterone, to help.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was six years old.
Imagine my 26 year old mother, hearing this in the 90s! “She won’t sit still, she’s so smart but she doesn’t know how to apply it. She is disrupting the class, she won’t take her naps. She gets up and she walks away”!
She was furious, perplexed shocked and alarmed that teachers couldn’t handle CHILDREN when they were being, what disruptive, talkative, hyper, excited.. being what.. CHILDREN!?
Hey hey hey though.. she was a kid herself , a single mother.
After all, this was the 90s guys 😅 we now have all these incredible resources, endless information, reels, forums..
So yeah,
It wasn’t something normal to hear. Having your child put on strong medications is very difficult. It is very difficult having to suppress your child’s personality and having to ask what they are feeling, having to force them to eat, seeing them lose so much weight, not sleeping, getting dark circles under their eyes ,feeling frustrated because you feel like your kid isn’t in there anymore 🧠..
Sure, my grades were off the charts, my mom saw a huge change. But it was hard on her because she didn’t know if what she was doing was wrong to do to a child or if it would help me in the long run. She did everything she could, took me to therapists twice a week to monitor what I was feeling, to make sure that she wasn’t creating an unhealthy addiction. She didn’t just want me to see a psychiatrist, she took me to neurologists, she would tell me everyday when I cried for feeling that my brain didn’t work that I wasn’t stupid, that I was smart as hell, like Albert Einstein😂😂
But that I needed to keep it under control, because I needed to learn patience when others were being taught, to slow down, to wait, channel focus even when not stimulated, to listen, even when I knew what was going to come out of everyone’s mouth..
I would get bored, I would walk out of class, I needed to move. Everything felt so slow and boring, and I had this hyper-fixation, this way of zoning in and out when I wanted to no matter the situation.
I wanted to move on and do the next thing while running a mile, and having a tea party if I could 😅
I started reading full on books when I was 3 years old, writing poems when I was 5.. this is what my mother would get so frustrated about. But she saw the behavior, the restlessness, my way of dissociation, and clocking out when I felt something didn’t serve a purpose to me.
I would stuff my pills in the couch cushions, because they made me feel muted, sick, inexpressive, emotionless, black and white. I didn’t want to play, felt lost, in the dark, confused, irritated, insecure, stupid.
I felt even more impatient, impatient with others. I would get so irritated when other kids would talk to me while on my medication because I wanted to learn, not talk. And I didn’t want to explain why I was acting different today.
It was so challenging to find the right balance. So, they gave me everything in the book, Ritalin, concerta (which made me hallucinate that was fun 😅) oh and of course adderall, duh.
Six years old being told that your brain doesn’t function like everyone else’s, that you have to learn things differently, that your too loud, that it isn’t time to paint, it isn’t time to write a book, it’s not time to put on a play. I always felt like my clock was ticking to a different tune in a different time. I never knew when it was the right time to do anything.
I was hesitant, insecure, second guessing my every move. I was so impressionable, I could not make decisions because I felt that mine were wrong. I had to depend on everyone else (in my head) because to me they were smarter after all they didn’t take pills so they mustn’t be broken, they must be right they are smarter! To me they had the right answers, mine we wrong and everything I did felt wrong.
It was all so confusing and I felt that who I was wasn’t who I was supposed to be. And god, it makes so much sense as an adult that I have so many self esteem issues, I was brought up on the insecurity of being weird, or too much.
Not so great for development because back in the 90s we didn’t have beautiful things like this video to help us feel okay. I am now 29, and only came to terms with this about 2 years ago, I also struggle with mania, depression and of course to top it off our friend anxiety. Of course i have always taken medication but I finally found the right medication when I was about 17, yup. YIKES.
I take something that has no generic so imagine that.
It’s the only thing that works with my chemical makeup. Thank you, I am so happy to have found your channel. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜
Wow I was obviously hyper focused when writing this 😂 whoever takes the time to read this, let me know. It’s the first time I’ve ever written this out woah ❤
@@ThatmanicwitchBless you. I’m over 40 years older than you, youngest son at 39 just diagnosed and I’m waiting for mine. But I can relate to so much of what you said, as a child. It was such a struggle, and I just thought I was useless, life was like that for everyone but they could all cope. I too was always wrong somehow, too much or not enough. I had no clue about adhd. I’m so glad you found something that helps…my son is still struggling and it breaks my heart. You are perfect just as you are ❤
I’m waiting for an official diagnosis, in my 70s. My son just diagnosed at 39. We had no clue, just though we were not coping with life when everyone else could. I have had severe issues all my life, menopause worsened some symptoms, though I’m much less crazy impulsive. Motivation and focus is bad now. I guess with dopamine going down with age anyway, it’s just really bad for me…I know I am constantly looking for a fix. Had to give up sugar altogether or I would have rapidly headed for diabetes. Easier in some ways as I’m retired, live alone, so can do what I like whenever pretty much. But also chaotic, no structure, severe sleep problems, and I really struggle to finish anything if I manage to start it 😕 Don’t have much contact with people, just my dog.
I could go back and diagnose my younger self in a heartbeat, right from a toddler. I’m combined, but the hyperactivity was mostly internal, I was trained to be quiet and relatively still. Mid teens I went way off the rails, lord knows how I’ve got to this age. Relationships were a mess. Constant thrill seeking and putting myself in danger, cars, horses, hitchhiking. Hopeless with money, no executive function.
It gave me some good stuff too, not all the impulsivity led to bad things, and I got to do things that most people wouldn’t even try to achieve. And I’ve always been creative in many ways, art, music, writing. Learnt lots of amazing things and skills thanks to hyper focus and being an autodidact when in the zone.But it would have been nice to not always have the mental overlay of thinking I was a screw up, to know why I was the way I was. Nothing I did was ever good enough, in my mind.
When I started looking into it, when my son was put forward for diagnosis, everything clicked into place. I found a human race I belonged to. Not official yet, but yes…and it does help. I just wish it had come earlier. I’m sad for my younger self.
Your videos have been wonderfully helpful. Thank you 😊
I am so Grateful that I've watched this and for Your Advice‼💯🙏 I was diagnosed with ADHD in January 2020 when I come off my antidepressants of 11 years and I'm 52 and going through the Change😥 so what you said has made so much Sense‼💯 Thank You🙏 and I am unmedicated because it takes two years to see a specialist😥 I'm not going to lie it has been hard at times😥 but I Love Me being with ADHD‼💯🥰 I wouldn't change that‼💯 I am trying to eat all the right food and I am very active‼ ALWAYS Running Around😂 what Really Helps is that I Meditate Morning and Night and sometimes in the Afternoons if I'm not working🥰 I Am So Glad You're on Here🙏 because i have had no one really to talk to about all this because of lock down😥my family don't really understand and I can see half my family have ADHD now I recognise the symptoms‼ best stop now because I will just go on and on😂 and Yes I can Talk for England‼💯😂 if you understand that phrase😂
#UnityMeditationLoveLockDown
Same :)
Right food , exercising and especially are huge game changers. (So good that I don't have to take meds at homeschooling)
Its also nice that 2-3 of my friends have add or adhd
I have combined-type, but I'm more inattentive than hyper. My daughter has combined type and is the opposite. They kid can injure herself just trying to sit still in a chair.
HAHA me
I was diagnosed this year at 30 and recently read a book about ADHD in women. I haven't finished it (of course) but so far most of the chapters circle around one sad thing: no real research exists. That goes for anything from social problems starting in childhood, to puberty, hormones, menopause, over thinking and low self esteem and suicidality. Not just in mainstream, but also in science and healthcare everything seems to be based on that hyperactive young boy still. That really gutted me.
The book is "ADHD Girls to Women" by Lotta Borg Skoglund if anyone's interested.
I am a female that wasn't officially diagnosed until I was 47. When I started on the medication, it changed my life for the better. I wish I had taken medication when I was younger. My life would have been so much better then too 😢...
Do you experience any side effects?
well.. yes.. i tend to hyper focus a little too much now!!@@xWabbli
I absolutely agree. Diagnosis last Nov. my life is sooo much better with meds. I hope someday people will realize it’s a “real” thing.
Please make a video on introverts with adhd 🙏
I have been diagnosed a year ago at 44 after losing my job, everything else, and basically gave up on life. I cant put it into words. I cant explain how bad it was and still is. Thank you for your channel. I know I'm not alone. I am just struggling to accept the fact that I have been seeing therapists for depression as early as 18. I have done my best but burned out and now I'm treated as the criminal? I am really struggling to accept that. It's a miracle that I am still alive today and I thank God for that.
Thank you for this channel. I am sure it will help me.
I am 26 and I was diagnosed 3 years ago, just before I started my academic journey, and I have the combined type. Because both my brother and my mom have the hyperactive type, I was always told that I don't have ADHD and that i'm just lazy. When I took Ritalin for the first time, it was like putting on glasses.
Now I am struggling to find a different medication because Ritalin is just not enough, especially on the time of my period. the hormones somehow cancel the affect of the medication and so I have a week every month that I can't really study so I have to catch up the week after and it causes me to work extra hard just to be like every other student.
I am thankfull for your channel! even though I am in therapy, it is very easy to forget the strenghts of ADHD and seeing your reels and you videos reminds me of that and why I'm fighting for my degree so badly
so THANK YOU
I’m 50 and just got diagnosed 6 mos ago...I have the combination type! I’m going to nursing school!
Nice!
Congratulations!!!! I wish you the best.
I've been diagnosed for the following for last 7 years: major depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorder, panic attacks and borderline/bipolar comorbity. Recently they discovered I rather have ADHD, which made me fucking relieved that finally I was believing to my own diagnosis and found answers to all my questions.
I battled for YEARS with depression, stress, anxiety, social anxiety, and racing thoughts. I didnt know what was going on or why i couldnt control all the fleeing thoughts in my head, until a psychiatrist told me "Let's get you scheduled for a neurocognitive exam". A month later, she pointed to the results graphed out and said "this is common for people with adhd". I cried in the parking lot. I wish it was discovered sooner, so many things could have been different, but better late than never.
Thank you so much!!
4:10 ...I felt that in my chest....I felt that so much, that I got a little teary-eyed....
Thank you!!!
I have both forms of ADHD as a boy I gotta say it's nice that everyone in my friend group has ADHD or ADD
I’ve just watched your survey and scored 13 out of 14! Although I did say no to the first of fidgeting as I was thinking I can sit still for hours playing a game on my iPad. I have been on antidepressants for years as my doctor thinks it’s me being anxious and depressed.
I’m 100% sure I have Inattentive ADHD I need help getting diagnosed or being directed to the right person…someone wanna help me?
My nan, a nurse of over 45 years, still refuses to acknowledge that I have ADHD.
I only found out officially in January this year that yea, I’m adhd. I think combined but with a slant to inattentive
The low self esteem is a big deal, and what you said about putting a great deal of time and effort into looking normal and put together was spot on. I always tried so hard, and perhaps unfortunately I was good enough at masking that no one knew.
I’m 52 was diagnosed last Dec!
37 stimmed with sticks or plastic strips my whole life, child actor, fully social, either bored to tears, desperately in love or desperately heartbroken, the only escape is the hyperfocus on niche subjects, and even that doesn't appeal during the heartbreaks.
Thanks! Its very refreshing to see a dude talking about gender norms and even knowing about the cycle
I didn't even know that for sure and I do own a womb 😅
It does make sense tho
It's true what you said about the expectations and as a non binary person
(assigned female at birth)
It's always really nice to see people actually looking to both ends of the whole spectrum of human experience esp the whole guys and gals-thing
I always related to both and learned a lot about myself while gathering info
I think it's just for everyone's best to also know about things that maybe dont affect you directly but are good to know
Like teaching girls about prostates and boys about wombs
The worst case is educated people respecting each other more
so I'm in 😄
I have ADHD(pi) / that sometimes switches to hyperactivity physical activity as well as being "HSP". It is not easy at all feeling this intensely as a guy, a tall big guy, that people aren't exactly sympathetic to on meeting anyway. I had to hide ADHD and everything else because of my mum and dads issues. It can be hell
I’m 68 year old woman that wasn’t diagnosed until I was 56. Explained a lot.
Hello! I used to assume I had ADD, but this year I'm pretty sure I have it. I was diagnosed with depression, but no one ever told me that I might have ADD too. The problem is that psychiatry in Russia, where I live, is deeply stigmatized. And it's even worse that our idiots in the government are banning ICD-11.
So, knowing about my ADD helps me manage my daily life. I don't feel guilty or unworthy. It helped me eliminate most of the symptoms of depression. My life is getting better.
I have combined type and noticed that my medication does not work properly (if at all) during the week of my period 😒
I'm growing more and more certain that I have it - the inattentive type probably. As I had a quite supportive environment growing up, and have a rather high intelligence combined with it, it was not a problem academically speaking, but now as I have a family and a full-time-job it becomes increasingly clear and difficult to deal with. Sometimes I dream of being the proverbial "zerstreuter Professor" as we call it in german, the absent-minded academic, who will produce genius results, while they have a wife and a secretary to organize their life and still forget the odd lecture. And noone blames them because they are male and genius. But no, I have to try and juggle it all, being my own housekeeper and secretary and my mind is blocked down by these tasks in a way that takes away all creative energy...
Have long suspected that I am undiagnosed cuz back in the early 80s they didn't even think girls could have ADD/ADHD, but wow did kid me show a lot of signs. Which led to a lot of self learned coping skills that of course no one understood & often made fun of me for. I take forever to do simple things cuz I have a very rigid mental list of the order things must be done to make sure I don't forget anything & omg'ness if my routine is interrupted I have to at least mentally start all over again, and I get irritated...no one gets it.
And lists rule my life (in a good way). When electronic organizers (PDAs) 1st came out I wanted one so so so bad & was told no I didn't need one (was still in school), but I just knew that it would've made a huge change to my life if I could have something handy with me at all times to make notes, write things down, have a list, not have to hope that I would be able to remember it later (HA). My 1st smartphone with a notepad feature pretty much confirmed that. The notepad is one of my fave features on any phone, along with the calender & alarm clock - cuz yes I need many different alarms thru out the day to help me be not as late as I could be (still end up late).
To combat losing things I got very organized & insistent that certain things have to be put back in the same spot every time. Minimalist clean freak, cuz when I'm in a very cluttered environment I get overwhelmed & feel anxious & can't sit still & relax until I have "fixed" it. As a teenaged babysitter families loved me cuz I boredom cleaned their homes.
Super talkative, fast talker, interrupter, monopolizes conversations, can't have a linear conversation - yep that's me. I have to work at it. Thankfully I have some ND friends who LOVE that about me cuz when they need help doing focus based tasks they can call me & let me ramble on to my hearts content while they work lol. And bonus for me, cuz I can't do anything else while doing that & I can't sit still for long I boredom clean.
Lifelong insomnia - even as a very small child I had a hard time sleeping & staying asleep. If I was told to go to bed at 8 pm, & I fell asleep by 10 pm, I was awake by 3 or 4 am & getting yelled at for being up so early. Having a radio or tv on helps me way more than being in a quiet room, cuz it gives my brain something to focus on while I'm trying to relax. Complete quiet room...oh my brain starts in with the fun thoughts - like becoming obsessed with how a master key works - & pre-internet that kind of thought would literally keep me up all night. Tbh with internet I'm still up, but I can get that question answered before falling into a rabbit hole of things I will soon forget I learned about. Still don't sleep normal - still very much go go go until I literally crash & then I'm lucky if I get 4 solid hrs of sleep.
There is so much more, but once again I have written way too much & part of me thinks I should just delete this so I don't make anyone mad at me, cuz everyone else left short comments & I wrote this. Yes reaching & exceeding word limits for papers was extremely easy for me in school. Thank you & I'm sorry if anyone reads this comment.
Do you feel lonely these times that you uploaded this?
I'm male I'm not hyperactive but that what you said about inattentive symptoms waw that's me down to a T! I'm 39 next month but is this found in men or just women I don't know I've never looked into this till a friends mum at 70 diagnosed herself and went to get some tests and sure enough it was this she's shocked!
When you forgot that you even subscribed to this channel.......Getting my evaluation by the end of the month.
Nice
Maybe diagnosing is harder in women, but most of the symptomes considered as unmanly traits. Emotianal instability, indecisiveness, forgetfulness, inattention, timeblindness...
If a girl has these traits they are cute, dreamy or just simply feminine. If a guy has them he need to "man up" an "grow a pair"
Lose the background music
What difference with ADD in women?
So recently, idk when, they stopped separating ADD/ADHD that way, now all of it is ADHD - with the subtypes listed in the video. ADD was often the inattentive form.
Almost everything is harder for women because of patriarchy
Like what?
@@FindingYourSerenity lmao it’s always a white woman
non-adhd can be neurotypical
Women with ADHD are supposedly "easier" to get.
You have tried doing seduction( approaching women, improving social skills) right with non adhd women???? If not especially in gen z of ADHD, I think we should!
Man I haven't watched your channel in a little while. Hi!!
Welcome back!;)