Three Things I Learned Raising Daughters
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- Original Short: • Three things I learned...
Sons: • What They Don’t Tell F...
00:00 Intro
00:51 When I Found Out I Was Going To Be A Father
01:12 Two People I Asked For Advice
02:42 Lesson #1: Tell Your Daughter You Love Her
04:29 Lesson #2: You Have To Be Honest With Your Daughters
05:24 Lesson #3: They Have To Be Able To Be Honest With You
08:04 Bonus: Teach Your Daughters How To Shoot
08:47 The Toughest Thing You'll Realize As A Father
Nice, Nick. May I also add: Treat their mother the way you hope their husbands will one day treat them. Kids notice more than you think they do. Girls will see what a loving relationship looks like so they know what to look for in their own partners and the boys will learn how to treat their future wives.
Yes. 💯 %.
I'm so glad you mentioned boys need that kind of model, too, as the mother of a teenage son. I heard our pastor once tell us that the best gift you can give your kids is setting an example of a loving relationship and knowing that their parents really love each other and what that looks like. It gives them a solid foundation to build their own relationships on.
Could never trust my bv Dad, he treated my mother HORRIBLY ML
@@sandramartin9106 That’s a good point. My sister’s ex-husband is a (insert any vulgar epithet and it would apply). She lasted nine years with him then finally found the strength to leave. Their three kids struggled for a while when they were young, but all of them got it together and grew into amazing, functional, stable, happy adults. Certainly, their mother’s constant love was a primary force in their lives, but the damage inflicted by their father was also undeniable. I asked her once how her kids were able to overcome how their dad treated her and them. She said, “Sometimes a bad example can be as valuable as a good one.”
The best that you can do is for your children is to see that you love and respect to your mother
Outstanding. I made my daughter get her black belt before I let her date so no boy could take advantage of her when I wasn't there for her. I also taught her to shoot and get her license to carry. No one ever took advantage of her, and when she finally met someone who could deal with her confidence and power, they married, and next week is their 11th anniversary. I couldn't be prouder of my daughter.
You should be insanely proud of yourself
You know what they say. A girl can trust you as far as they can kick you.
Yes, but please get the belt in BJJ and not karate🤣. The slogan on our MMA, Jim in huge letters on the wall, on the bus, on promotional materials, “karate will get you killed.“ Even KM is awesome for girls of any age or physical abilities. Get your girls in classes!
My oldest daughter has (2) blackbelts.
Good shit!!!
4 main things you need to remember about my daughter:
1. She's beautiful
2. Her dad is a grumpy old Marine, so don't even think about messing with her
3. Grumpy old Marine has a big backyard
4. Grumpy old Marine has a shovel and an alibi
Same here
How can I love this comment into infinity? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Been watching your videos for awhile now. Can’t say I disagree with any of them yet.
I saw the TikTok and cried. I cried so hard, because when I looked at the man that was supposed to be MY dad. It wasn’t who I use to know. I only know a few things about him. He only knows a few things about me. We’re more strangers than family. I mean he does the basics. I know how to cook, I clean, I get good grades, he taught me how to drive. We both like metal and that’s about as far as things we both like goes. I don’t like him, I feel bad for telling people I don’t like him but I don’t. He yells at me, he hurts me. I do the same, I’m covered in cuts from my legs to my arms all of which I’ve made. I think it’s important to be there for your child, when I needed him he refused to help. We’ve never rebuilt that relationship back after that, and the thing to note is. Abusers don’t abuse everyday. However he feels, he decides to make everyone around him feel.
... and big ego
“You can be tender to her, and a danger to others.” This is worth a thousand, “self-help” books.
❤🥰
"Tell your daughter that you love her!... because if you don't, someone that doesn't will and she'll believe him"
Maybe (one of) the most profound advice to a new father I've ever heard. And as someone who was never told by my father I was loved, I can testify to the validity of that advice.
'the most profound advice ' ... and Nick's instinct reaction: wanting to hit him (2:30) ... just sayin '.
@@wolfgangreichl3361 Not sure I understand your comment correctly. Are you saying that Nick's reaction tells you that the advice was bad? Or...?
@@TheMagpie4Real No. I think it's good. Personally my emphasis would have been on 'unconditional love', which he brought later.
But I just couldn't help stumbling on the ever so tiny dichotomy of getting good advice - recognizing it as such - and the intense desire to punch the guy in the face.
@@wolfgangreichl3361 I did understand you correctly then 😊 I just didn't want to presume. English is my third language, so I have to take into account that I can miss something subtle when I can't see the face of the person "saying it". I agree with you.
I couldn't help smiling when Nick said he wanted to hit the guy that just gave him that insightful advice. And at the same time it was a little heartbreaking. I fully understand his inclination for wanting to hit him. He just admitted, that he is fully aware that he is taking advantage of girls who has been emotionally neglected and doesn't know how to defend themselves against further abuse. That he is telling the truth and that his advice is solid is just making him that much more of a bastard for doing what he is doing when he clearly understands the "weakness" he is exploiting.
@@TheMagpie4Real English as your third language, and yet you're more articulate than many who grew up with it. Impressive!
My dad had this friend who was a predator towards me, I was 17. To this day I hold a grudge, he always told me he loved me, but when I told him I don’t feel safe around this guy who keeps insisting to take me home with him alone. My dad rubbed it off saying I don’t see things right and then my mom got involved and it took a lot of convincing and evidence of text messages to get him to tell that guy off. It shouldn’t take convincing or evidence if your daughter feels she’s in danger.
And that is the crux! Often times, males do not LISTEN to females. Sounds like your dad may have had nasty thoughts about teen girls or may have done some nasty things himself, thus the hesitation in defending you. Love always protects FIRST.
@@wojtek9500 I’m not muslim, but if you are I suggest leaving islam, it’s not good for people’s moral sanity.
@@wojtek9500I hope you never gave daughters
@deirdremorris9234 not really, her dad could simply have been with narcissistic traits, thus that rubbing off the situation. But good thing that her mother intervened and that she was safe afterwards.
@@sophyamary my dad’s been hiding porn from my mom 10+ years (been caught 3 times) and yes he’s a narcissist, and then he wonders why I have trust issues with him. Not only that but he gaslights and stone walls.
I met this girl once who had a life very similar to mine. She slept with a lot of guys and said that it was because she didn't grow up close to her dad. For years I wondered what differentiated me from her as I never had the urge to sleep around despite having a similar relationship with my own dad. One day, I understood that the difference was that despite all the issues I had with my dad, I always knew that he loved me and was proud of me no matter what.
I was the same. I had an emotionally absent father who was terrible but never felt the need to sleep around while others did. You said it perfectly
My father abandoned me as a child. It is very likely that he doesn't even care to this day that I exist. I never slept around. In fact, I am still a virgin. In my case growing up with morals and self-respect had nothing to do with my lack of a father figure, but because I had a dedicated mother would led me by example.
@@prettycareye3181, you are a rare soul.
@prettycareye3181 tbh being an eternal Virgin is just as bad or worse than sleeping around.
@@KManAbout Really? What disadvantage does virginity cause in one's life? And what value does sleeping around add to one's life? These are serious questions. I look forward to your answers.
That "tell your daughter..." story hits had. Respect to the guy that gave you a real answer instead of just deflecting.
I'm still currently at the hospital as my wife just delivered our second daughter. If this video isnt a God send, I'm not sure what is. Thank you very much for this, from one father of girls, to another.
Congratulations brother to you and your wife! God bless!
@@Nickjfreitas
Happy Father's Day
These songs because Fathers
are Outstanding.
Daddy's Hands
Because You Loved Me
(your children)
Grown Men Don't Cry
Good Job (one voice childrens choir)
@@NickjfreitasI raised a daughter and understand I married someone's daughter.
My daughters husbands must have never had a mother.
In other words they had bad fathers.
He’s right with every detail
You have been blessed by the Algorithm gods.
I love the stance "I want her to be aware of the danger, not to be afraid of it.' This is where training of awareness comes in! Awesome!
Good job as a dad but the last issue on protecting herself I would suggest first, instead of a gun, that she take self defence. My father shot himself and attempt to hurt the family so I hate guns. I also believe knowing the word of God and the power of the Holy spirit can operate, as the word says, better than a double edged sword. I heard a story of a girl who was being chased by 2 men in a park, here in Canada, and the Holy spirit asked her why she was running. So she stopped and pointed her finger at them and said, "In the name of Jesus, I command you to stop" the 2 men dropped dead on the spot. In the court case the judge asked her to explain what happened but stopped her when she came to that part, I think he was afraid of my happen if she continued. I have heard other stories like it and when I feel overwhelmed by the enemy I have done it and felt oppression leave and burdens lift and when I couldn't get the dog to let go of a baby rabbit he found in the yard, I tried it and he dropped it. Others have called on God in an attack and gang members ran when they said they saw large shiny men standing by the people they were about to attack. I also pray for a ring of fiery protection around my loved ones and myself and know he has protected me from many dangers and kept my granddaughter from being kidnapped and now she wants to be a lawyer to put the bad guys away! Sorry if this is long but I felt a need to share my heart and I enjoy your shorts as they give me a laugh so I wanted to bless you in return.
@lilianw.4358 My father was wonderful, but he overprotected me. He taught obliviousness instead of awareness, and I got taken advantage of because of my ignorance. Now I look back on every date he chaperoned when I was a teenager and am grateful, but I wish he would have taught me awareness before I went to college. Also, a daughter won't believe that her father loves her unless he says it with all of the love languages.
@@aprilmcgeown2253 No offense but anyone that thinks someone pointed at two people, invoked *Jesus*, and they dropped dead is uh.. not trying that hard to think, I'm guessing. People of all beliefs all around the world including christians are horribly murdered while praying to their god every single day. God will not save your children. Do your job and teach them how to save themselves.
@@jonnovak6856God does protect us but being dumb won't do nothing so you should always protect urself
@@aprilmcgeown2253whoa.
I'm a father of two newborn girls and have no idea what I'm doing. Thank you so much for this!
Yes you do because you found this video . Best wishes to you in fatherhood
Bro pls don't screw up 💀
You got this. I was where you were 30 years ago and my beautiful "girly-whirlies" are now 30 and soon to be mothers themselves. You just love them unconditionally and do the best you can..side-by-side with their mother...every day. Days seem forever long, but weeks/months/years fly by and very soon they will be able to bath themselves, dress themselves, feed themselves, and of course wipe themselves😅. I wish I could tell you just how wonderful they grew up to be, but I don't have the words to adequately describe it. Hang tough! You will be a pro in no time!
Not only good advice to fathers towards their daughters, but good advice to husbands towards their wives. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughter is 16 and I am scared for her every day. She came home from work and told me there was a guy asking her inappropriate things and one of her coworkers ran him off the job site and told her he has a daughter her age so he will make sure she’s safe when I can’t. I am taking that man out for dinner on Wednesday. There are so many good people in this world we need to look out for each other.
I had a guy at work also offer to protect me from situations when my dad can't. I haven't had any situations happen thankfully but there was a guy that was made my coworker a little suspicious. I definetly appreciated my coworkers offer. He threatened to beat up any guys who gave me trouble, and honestly I believe he would do it. He was in the military and has a pretty hot temper. Lol
Giris-women say inappropriate things to boys-men just as often. But we call that empowerment.
@@susansmith493doesn't make it right
@@susansmith493 girls shouldn't say those things either, but at least they don't usually have the capabilities to force things physically like guys do.
@@americandefender1861 Yes, physically, they're far different. But i assure you, girls and women can do massive, deep, long lasting harm from the type of abuse they can do. And fact us, women can also be wildly physically abusive. Work in family law for a few decades. It's not what you've been trained to think.
You are the genuine embodiment of “fathers be good to your daughters”…
I try to be! Thank you!
I have seen that men begin to value and see women's perspective only when they have daughters. They want the best for their daughters but how much of that 'best' have they given to other people's daughters in capacity of husbands and boyfriends?
So how about, 'men be good to other people's daughters too'?
Wow! Can’t stop watching your stuff… So much wisdom! Thanks!
Hey, I don’t think Trump has a running mate yet….!
May God bless you sir
As a father of two daughters 26 and 18, you nailed it. I was gone a lot in the military for 25 years but every day I told them I loved them via voice, email of cassette tape. I made time with them when I was home and I always apologized when they confronted me. They are both smart, feminine, beautiful, capable and they know how to identify the monsters, in all their forms. And I also taught them how to shoot and apply self defense. 😂Great vid man.
I’m a 73-year old woman who has just begun realizing that the fact that I had a completely detached, unloving father negatively impacted my entire life tremendously. I would’ve given anything to have a father like you.
My father was a single father to 4 girls, I’m the oldest of 4. To say it was challenging… is an understatement… there were times that were quite tough on all of us for various reasons. My father was very open with us regarding the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright petrifying… he never held back on anything. He taught us how to fight, how to shoot, and how important it is for my sisters and I to always stick together no matter what. I’m very grateful he is still here to both drive us crazy and love us like crazy all at the same time. I love my father more than anything in the world. My sisters and I are most certainly blessed.
That sounds wonderful to have a father like that, and even from just reading your comment I admire him already, and wished I have a father that's much more than just providing me a comfortable life, though I'm grateful I can live a good upper middle class life but my dad's a deadbeat father, doesn't really teach me things, doenst communicate well, yelling and criticising for small things and because I do things the way I do them and not his way, all the petty butter things he does to ruin my day and mood. Although I don't have a good view of most fathers becuase of him I'm very glad to hear father's like yours exist. I wish I had one like that 😔. But at this point I don't even want that anymore, my perception of parents are far too messed up now, ever since I grew up and got alot smarter. I begin to see them as how they are as individuals, massively flawed personalities, it disappoints me. And I hate to think I'm better than my parents, but there's so many things I'd be able to do so much better at being a parent than them because of all the things I'm aware of their child. They're just so selfish and wants everything to go their way, I'm not going to bend myself into what they want me to be, i think I'm already a very mature, lovely, smart boy, but they just want me to be a certain person and they keep criticising me so pettily. Sorry for the long read, I wouldn't be surprised if you didnt even read 25 percent of this lmao I'm a real talker
@@rns6889You are very valuable. You have immeasurable intrinsic value. You wouldn't give up even one of your eyes for a million dollars. How much more valuable you are than a million dollars.
it is sad that mother wasn;t there, as a child learns diferent things from both mather and a father - but anoyone can teach those things to a child, and even a man can be susptitute for what a mother can teach, it is just that he has to be also a father, provider, cook, cleaner etc - and sometimes single parent dsoesn;t have strenght for all the roles. Mother's love is diferent then fathers, but, what you couldn;t feel growing up (mother's love), you could feel raising your own kid. The fact that your dad raised 4 healthy, happy children is a honoring testiment on it's own - the fact that you say you love him - man. I hope I will get that from my kids when they are your age. You knwo what? Tell your father you love him and hug him, for no reason. You will make his whole week happy :) I know you do it probably all the time, but as father myself, I can tell you it can never be too much :)
I wish my father had taught me things,neither of my parents taught me anything,and at 31 I'm STILL trying to learn
@@GabrielleTollerson and you understand that you need to learn, once you get that, you will find people who know and who can teach. you will be ok, remeber to teach yourkids when the time is right. Good luck
As a daughter that had a father that was hands off in my life, I wholeheartedly agree with this entire video. I didn't have someone teach me about the monsters of the world, so when the monsters found me, it scarred me for life. I was way too vulnerable to realize that I was in an abusive relationship until it was way too late. Be kind to your daughter, show her real love and make sure her bar is high.
Thank you for this honest, heartfelt video 🙌
It's more than you realize. Sometimes the girls turn into monsters, themselves.
Not having that influence and involvement can enable some serious problems.
It breaks my heart to read stories like this, I wish I could be there for kids like you, but I would be like the cast lady and have a house full of kids and that's not where God has me.
A middle-age Scandinavian leftie, and fine with that later in life, never the less I wish I'd had a father like you. I fear that even the way you brought up your daughters would have made me a stronger man. Or at least a lot sooner, than I figured it out my self. Great gratitude towards a solid man, though wed probably disagree on many things political.
This! ALL! DAY! LONG!!!
I had the same struggles in my twenties until I broke free off toxic relationships and eventually met my husband. He embodies everything my das wasn't and funny enough my husband had to learn how to become this man in his own 20s because his dad never was in the picture.
Girls and Boys equally need strong, gentle and wise fathers. Society should support men way better in helping them grow to be a leader and protector, not a simp or abuser.
Well said, Nick! My father was a abusive weak man!! You are everything I would have loved to have experienced in a father. Thank You for sharing it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully I was very fortunate to have married a wonderful man that taught me how to love and be loved
Thank you!! And I am very glad you found a good man that treats you with love and respect!
My pastor had a sermon about the same thing about a father's responsibility in telling their daughter they are loved. My pastor said because if fathers don't tell their daughter they are loved by them some other man will and it will be a lie. I was 31 the first time I heard that and it resonated with me because I never had a dad. As a child and teenager and even as an adult I longed for a father. So I'm married now and my husband tells my daughter and shows my daughter how she is loved by him. I'm so grateful for a loving husband.
My wife had a garbage relationship with her father. She says I helped her learn how she should be treated. Which is great because she helped me learn how to be a man when my own dad utterly failed to. This is massive. I’ve been able to teach my wife how to love herself when she didn't know how, and how to shoot to protect herself from those monsters your mention. The fact that her dad didn't teach her, his own daughter, lights me up every time I think about it. We are living examples that marriage can be everything God intended when two people are willing to sharpen eachother and be sharpened. And though I'm not expecting kids any time soon, hand to God I feel everything you're saying. Thanks for holding up the standard. It's not without fruit.
Whst a blessed marriage! As it should be.
If you do have children I can assure they have a good father waiting for them and are blessed cheers never had a father that showed me the ropes although I wished so much but hopefully we all meet that one person that demonstrate that love that we all need ❤much love
That's such a great share and I am so happy that you and your wife figured this out. Unfortunately we are seeing more bad examples and experiencing it's rotten fruits, than good. And us, people who experienced and suffered from those bad examples are to break the cycle, learn how to be a real man or woman, husband and wife and teach our children better. I'm only learning these things. And my partner, who also didn't have a balanced upbringing is learning this too in the age of 50 and he, like you, teaches me, the woman how to value myself better by being incredibly good to me. And I, as woman teach him self control and much more by setting boundaries and keeping to them most of the time. Very important. I hope that one day, when we have children we will be able to teach them similar things he discussed in this video and be a living example of our children what true love and balanced relationships mean both with ourselves and with each other in society
A woman can’t teach you to be a man
Thanks for sharing this. It's encouraging though to hear how you and your wife have been such a blessing to each other!
My dad was in the navy and intelligence. As I was approaching my teenage years, dad started to teach us the essentials of having a gun, overall security and awareness. Those teachings were put to the test one night and it saved my life. My dad wasn't perfect, but he got me prepared for moments that mattered. He passed away 2019 but I remember him.
People don't often realize that the ones we have to worry about with guns are the ones who were never taught how to handle one by a responsible father.
"I asked, and he answered - honestly."
No matter what, ALWAYS be grateful when someone tells you the truth. 👍
Powerful message. I miss my father, and I am grateful for the role he played in my life. Even after he passed away, the lessons he imparted remained and withstood time.
My father died when I was a teen. He told me how much he loved me every day. And each day I saw how much he loved and respected my mother. He was fierce when needed but always loving. He's the standard that I used before I said, "I do". All girls need fathers like mine and you. Thank you!
I never had a father. It's really nice to know there is a good dad saying all this. I married my husband because he loved children and wanted a family. All the other teenage guys wanted nothing to do with children but wanted everything to do with how to make them. My husband is the best father I have ever known. It's so nice to hear from another good father out there.
I am very glad you found him! Raising young men and women to think of family, can be difficult in a "hook up culture" type of environment. We emphasized to our daughters and our son, that modern dating culture does not set people up for success. That if you are respectful both of your body and theirs and you hold off on the physical, while you ensure a genuine intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection, you are far more likely to have a healthy marriage. Respect for ones spouse, should begin before you ever meet them.
@@Nickjfreitasude nail on the head idk what my parents did but they did right by me because i was 18 before i ever dated my first everything is my wife and shes my last met her at 18 and im on track to outlast my parents mariage 11 years going strong with a 6 going on 7 yr old daughter only person i know with a track record like that besides my granparents
lucky lady..lost my father young, im an old lady and i still miss him..
❤❤❤
The fact that you never had a father and chose a good husband would disprove everything he's saying, unless you're the exception, And everyone just happens to be highlight this.
Couldn’t click this fast-enough. I’m a 59 year old woman. My father was killed when I was three years old. The love of my life, my dear heart, was gone. I had 4 older sisters. Our world fell apart without him. Him. It has been a long road to try to understand why I chose the male mistakes I did. My father wasn’t around long enough to teach me what a truly good man is. So I went through the school of hard knocks. But I just learned recently why I made the mistakes I have with men. I’ve now put the child inside of me to bed. I’m so content, so free, just became a grandmother to a beautiful boy, and blessed to be here--just me and my Jack Russell, Oscar. What a boy! Thank you for your videos, but this one especially. 🙏🏻
Hugs and love
I can’t even imagine. God be with you
Thanks Nick... I'm the father of six daughters (and four sons!), but I did not have a father-figure growing up. My dad was just simply not very involved and I've struggled with being the best dad I knew how to be. I'm a veteran and that has both helped and hurt (as I'm sure you understand). Thank you for the terrific advice. I believe I have done fair-to-good with my girls, but only mediocre with my boys. I appreciate your encouragement and pray your family will be safe from the monsters.
What an incredible example of real deal masculinity channelled exactly as it should be in the family unit. People like Nick are the people who give all of us out here the knowledge and example of the value of good men in society. Don’t EVER let anyone or any organisation distract you from that. Thank you Sir!
Amen🎉
I have a "father" who told me everyday I need to be ashamed of myself and made me ask for permission to eat food. I'd give anything to have a man like Nick in my life. So a huge thank you to all the great fathers out there being a force for good in your family's life.
Stay strong bro 💪
I think you will make a wonderful parent whenever the time comes because you know what children need. I’m so sorry you were denied of your needs as a child, but I do believe it will make you a very strong, loving, nurturing parent. ❤
Oh heavens. I am so sorry you endured that.
I hope you have found peace and safety.
Thanks Nick.
Spot On ! I had all you mentioned with my dad, and although I'm 65 yrs old and he's been gone 25 yrs, I still cherish the love and respect my dad & I had for each other. He wasn't my "friend", he was "daddy". I trusted him. Dad is the first man a lil girl falls in love with and stays in love with all her life. Thank you for the video.
I was brought up by parents who argued, but I always knew I was loved. My mum said the most important thing in a child's life is not toys and such like its putting your arms around them and telling them how much you love them. Not once a month, but tell them they are loved every day.
About your teenager daughter correcting you, she learned to recognize the wrong you did by learning the life lessons you and your wife taught her. Her courage to come to you to notify your mistake is a sign you two are doing well.
She will not be afraid to go to God and discuss things with Him!
@@pamelaschomer4120 There is no god
Parents who do wrong need humility to know they did wrong and repent/ammend/apologize for it. Or their kids won't.
@@johnadams3038 then if somebody killed you there's no way to say that it's wrong. Best of luck!
@@catholicfemininity2126 Those parents need to vocally repent/ammend/apologize for their wrong doings to the child they wronged. Saying so in your quiet prayers only heels their souls, never their children'sbroken hearts.
This brought me to tears. I had a father who told me he loved me but demonstrated the opposite with his actions. My deepest wound is that he never protected me. May God put more men and fathers in the world like you. I can’t wait to show this video to my loving husband; we’re expecting our first child this year 💕
Congratulations ❤
May the Lord bless you and heal all past hurts and wounds. May your heavenly Father pour His favor over you and your husband and your child and future children to always feel the Love of a Father, especially your heavenly Father🙏
You’re a wonderful Dad. I can feel the love that you have for your daughters and being a good role model to them. God bless you and your family. I wish there will be more Dads like you who take their role very seriously. God loves you!
The best way to heal your personal wounds is to create a safe space and give your wise unconditional love to your children. Wishing you, your husband and your child the best life has to offer.
I hope and pray your future will be good with your family and that God will bless you
I am a registered voter in Virginia. PLEASE PLEASE consider running for Governor. You have my vote.
The world needs you as a Father 🙏❤️🩹
Amen.
As to the last point, I've been teaching people to shoot for 40 years now. What I hear most often when a woman realizes she can safely pick up a firearm, competently load it, and hit a target, is, "This is *empowering.*"
As a young woman with an estranged father, your words brought me to tears. Saving this video for my future husband/aspiring father.
Mutual love and respect between mom and dad will do wonders for children's world view.
The mom is the warmth of the house and the dad is the pillar.
Nick's advice is universal. I never had daughters. I have twin sons who are now 24 years old. Every time we speak on the phone I tell them that I love them. Many times they'll say it first. I was in my late 30s the first time I heard I love you son, from my father who was a crusty old Greek. He believed that compliments led to children having over inflated egos. The reason for his declaration of love for me was that my wife and I had given him twin grandsons. It surprised me. I never expected to hear those words from him. Those word changed my relationship with my father to one that was much closer. Start telling your daughters and sons that you love them early in their lives. It will make a big difference in what type of adults they will become.
My dad abandoned me at 12 for my stepmom and her family… I just wanna say I respect you so much for being a present father people like you a diamonds in the rough
How come he abandoned you for your stepmom (if you were with a stepmom and dad was with a stepmom, does not it make that you 3 were together)?
@@basedpatriotLT your question is self explanatory.
Your father didn't abandon you. He left your momma. Forgive your momma and love your father. Be free.
I was bullied at school and now as a 40 year old man I told my mum about it, and she asked why I hadn't told them at the time. I said because I knew they wouldn't have done anything anyway. I made it my mission in life for my daughters to always be able to tell me what's eating them up. This was truly inspiring, man. Thank you! BTW I've already had an instance of telling a guy (probably harmless but made my daughter scared) to stay away from her on her bus rides to school - politely but firmly. No worries since then.
Me too . My parent is doing the exact same thing currently 😢
I've never felt safe and have always felt afraid. It's why I hold myself back and make myself smaller. So it gives me hope to know that there are fathers like you.
I miss my Daddy so much! (I’m 75) He told me he loved me quite often-and while he never told me I was his beautiful little princess like so I wished for as a girl- He did give me the underlying impression that I was smart and competent and was capable of achieving anything I worked hard for! That was a BLESSING & an Enduring GIFT! Thanks Dad!
As a younger guy who wants a daughter, and a boyfriend to a girl who is not unlike the girls you mentioned at the beginning of the video who’s father was lackluster. I say from the deepest part of my heart. Thank you, I cried after watching this and I have to say I’m very grateful to it. I may forget your words but I will never forget the meaning behind them.
Thank you for wanting to be a better man
We as fathers, are the blueprint of what our daughter is going to look for in a husband. We have to set that good example.
You are so right. Looking back, I can understand why I chose the man I did, one of the biggest mistakes of my life, one I rectified by divorce. My father was a good provider, but he was withdrawn and didn't really care much to interact with me, traits I found in a man, and it went downhill from there.
The world needs more men, daddies, husbands like you. Good Bless
Great video. I am the father of four adult daughters 35, 29, 26 & 23 and I also work with all fathers of daughters regardless of their Ethnic Background and Culture.
Raising Daughters is the ultimate challenge for all men if you're Blessed to raise Daughters. God gives men Daughters to help them become better Human Beings, Husbands and Fathers.
Thank you for sharing this video because as a Father of adult Daughters I have to remind myself that I am living in a world where anything goes and that their are a lot of men who will never grow up and will never hold themselves accountable or responsible for their actions!!!
Thanks I'm a single dad of a 10 year old daughter and it's tough. I've made so many sacrifices for her without regret but it's tough. My whole concern is preparing her for life because Daddy won't be there forever. You gave some things I need to implement. Thanks
You can sacrifice for your men, you can sacrifice for your woman but your child is your duty not sacrifice.
I'm a daughter to a man who was a single father during my early years. One thing I can recommend, looking back, is to find a woman you trust (sister, mom, etc) who can teach her how to protect her heart, in addition to her mind and body. There are many things a girl/woman faces that a man will never understand. Things like how to control your emotions, thoughts and actions in various situations. For a girl, her emotions lead to actions. A man will never understand how strong those emotions can be and how hard it is to not act on those emotions. When she takes action, she is giving herself (time, love, body, etc) to whoever that action was taken towards. If she takes action with the wrong person, she is trusting that person with her mind, heart, and perhaps, body. IF that person emotionally hurts her later on, then her heart can become very damaged, because trust has been broken and she is deeply wounded. This is where she needs a woman with life experience to guide her on that path. If you don't know of anyone who you trust to be her friend in those areas, there's still time. Girls usually start grappling with these emotional changes a year or so before their period but then it gets very strong afterwards.
@@GB0915 thank you
@@NEBUKADNECCARstupid ass comment, sweetie. He never said his daughter wasn't his duty, he said he makes sacrifices for her, which is accurate, because everyone who fulfills their duty is making sacrifices to do so.
Your comment doesn't even make sense on its own terms, since "your men" if you are some kind of leader (we all know you aren't) or your woman are also your duty.
@@GB0915 Grandmothers and aunts are powerful in a girl's life. Every single one of my granddaughters have dodgy mothers. Those little girls know that I am in their corner 24/7. They absolutely love me and the messy but safe space I have for them.
As 43 yrs old woman who grew up without a father I’m in tears watching this. Its so heart warming to see there are men out there really wanting to do their best as fathers.
Most men i know are this way, and value their family over everything. I know i would give my life to save my daughters without thought. So there definitely loads of fathers like this sorry you missed out
It's sad that a message like this can come as such a shock. Many (I'd even argue most) men do care deeply about our families. I'd point to societal failings and the failings of our own fathers as reasons that a lot of us are misguided in our youth. Thankfully with the rise of the internet we have access to role models beyond our immediate environment to take inspiration from if needed to make up for a lack thereof. I really hope to see a cultural shift in masculinity from this "alpha" male Andrew Tate bs back towards a healthy and grounded gentleman type of character. Masculinity is only toxic when it is misguided and we need strong men to protect the vulnerable from the weak ones, now more than ever.
The men that don't care are either very high in sexual market value (e.g. girls without proper raising will throw themselves at him and get pregnant without a ring or even knowing his real name) or extinct! Think about that!
Same here. It took many years of observation and curiosity to reach the conclusion that many men are good to their children and want the best for them.
To be honest, as 42 yrs old man who grew up in a fully functional family, has an amazing wife and 2 kids, I have to admit that I'm in tears too.
You seem to have a heart of gold! I hope more fathers take these lessons with them! Thank you for this
Total class. Your children stand their best chance of being what God desires for them because of your love, counsel an leadership. Keep on!
gods not real
At a time when I feel my womanhood is being attacked from all sides, and threatened with nullification, your video is life-affirming. It is good to know that people like you exist.
Us, girls, have to unite! ✊️
@@MeowingCat835True Real Feminism! Women are created equal!
Lol really? Name 1 nation founded by women. Name 1 field of science women created. Name 1 road, highway, or structure constructed by women. Also men invented 96% inventions.
Men are also stronger, faster, smarter, and better at everything.
@@jenniferturner9012 yup, i would consider myself a feminist. An adequate one. For example, i believe FGM should be stopped from being practiced because it's just cruel.
I raised twin daughters myself. It was an interesting time. Thankfully they were pretty well behaved and a cake walk compared to stories I've heard from others. I think the major difference is that I was invested in them in more ways than just making sure money came into the house. When any of my 3 kids wanted my attention everything else stopped and I gave it to them. Every time. Games got paused, model building stopped, tv was muted whatever. I attended EVERY school event, I risked losing jobs to make to birthdays. I did everything I swore as a kid myself that I'd do. There were times it got hard, money got tight and I wish I could've taken better care of them but today, decades later the only one left alive has repeatedly assured me they/she never felt like she went without anything. I lost the oldest twin, the wife, and my adopted son in 2001 to a drunk driver.
Got a lot of stories of the games they played as identical twins though, probably the only "acting out" they ever did. I don't think either of them ever held their own job. If one had a job, they both had the job. One would work a few days, the other would work a few days and nobody was the wiser despite having polar opposite personalities.
I am so sorry for your and your daughters loss. The idea of them sharing a job is hilarious 😂
Sorry for your loss, very touching to read. I do have to agree with the other comment, them sharing jobs is very funny. Beautiful memories.
I gotta preface this with how I'm sorry for your loss,
But for real, playing twinsies with your *job* is pretty wild.
I had 2 fathers. The first was biological and he abandoned my mother, me and 2 siblings to go on the run to avoid child support. I can tell you that fathers who won't financially support their daughters send a very loud msg they are worthless. My 2nd father married my mother a few yrs later and adopted me and my 2 sisters. After my mother died when I was 17, I had a relationship with him until I got breast cancer at 46. I beat the cancer but was left with an autoimmune disease that made me very sick. A year into being sick he told me he didn't want me in his life anymore because he wanted to die happy and he couldn't do that with me as his daughter........Abandonment is the best way to for daughters to have trouble trusting God the Father and to chase man whores, beaters, cheaters and narcissist. I know because I'v spent my adult life with one loser after another. I'm 66 and I'v wasted myself with men who have been just like my fathers; void of love, irresponsible, uncaring, disrespectful; simply selfish and self serving. Trusting God is getting better but I wonder what my life would have been like if I had reached adulthood with a father who loved me, valued me and protected me.
Oh I teared right up. Don’t forget to teach them how to kick start a knife. They don’t need reloading and they are very portable. There are many colors and styles. One for every outfit or bag🤠👍🏻❤️
I wish I had this video 18 years ago when my wife and I were expecting our last child and only daughter. It would have made my job much easier. The truth is, I came to the same conclusions in my own trial and error. Today my daughter is looking at becoming an adult in a few weeks, and I am so grateful that I have a terrific relationship with her - specifically because I came to the same conclusions that you teach here.
Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to use the powerful platform you have to promote a godly approach to parenting.
Thank you Nick. As someone who is stepping in as a daddy to a precious 3 year old girl because the punk who helped create her refuses to get a DNA test and mommy can't leave the needle alone and doesn't even want to be part of her life, my wife and I are adopting her, but you nailed it. I needed this.
The little girl is lucky to find new loving parents! May the three of you have a beautiful deep bond and help each other love and grow! Congrats 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for this video. My biological father never did this, but my 'dad' (the man who raised me for 3/4 of my life) did. He gave me lots of love, and sometimes that meant tough love . That made me appreciate the truth. Thanks again.
2 things: 1) My Dad had 4 daughters. I wish he could have heard and accepted your words. 2) Thank you for your service to our country.
Who else is in tears listening to this and realising u nvr had a dad to confide and learn about building a relationship with?
Me 🙋🏼♀️ It sucks.
As a father of 2 daughters this is an excellent summation of what life has taught me, and I wish I had this resource before I had to learn it all my own. I'll share this with my son, so he can understand what is in store for him not only as an older brother but as a father himself some day. Your words are poignant, accurate, and heartfelt. God Bless you sir and keep fighting your good fight.
My husband does all of these. He daily tells them they are beautiful, and I love you. All 6 of our daughters are daddy girls. The older ones know their way around several 2A tools. I feel truly blessed by God for the gift of my husband and all our precious daughters.
"So you wanna make sure that you have a young woman that will never let any monsters stand in the way of letting her become everything that she's supposed to be." GOD DAMN RIGHT 🙏 AMEN!!!!
Nick, thank you so very much. I've raised three daughters and two sons.
These lessons apply to both in different ways. My daughters are successful, bright, well respected women now.
Some of those most difficult conversations happened just as you indicated.
A few times, they came to me because as they put it, "I knew I could trust you."
One is a teacher, one a medical professional, one in the military.
My oldest son is raising sons, and he often calls to say he is sorry for how hard he made my job, then he asks for advice with his boys.
My youngest is 17 and has the potential to follow in those same steps.
Thank God Almighty for the strength and courage to raise those children when their mother left.
Wow😮 What an amazing job you have done. Very honorable.
Amen, brother. My father raised 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. He messed up as much as he succeeded, but at least he was there, and he tried.
Sadly, my late wife and I were never able to have children, though we would have loved to. Regardless, I treat every female in my life as if they were family, and I WILL protect them like a wolf protecting his cubs.
I may not win, but I will stand up for them, and I will leave scars.
I strongly relate to that protective instinct and I genuinely do not understand those who lack it.
Rotorhead, with an attitude like that, you're already a winner.
@@MGShadow1989 Let me help you understand: they aren't real men.
@@rickraber1249 - aye, I absolutely agree, but part of me wants something more nuanced than that.
That instinct to protect is so strong, so intrinsic to my being and has been there for as long as I can remember without being taught to do so, that I feel like something must have happened to those who lack it; like how Patrick Stewart for example has a very peculiar view of masculinity because his father was abusive, or how some men are cowardly because they never had that positive role model.
@@MGShadow1989Maybe you haven't been paying attention to how the world is treating men that foolishly and unconditionally try to white knight. Often they end up dead, jailed, falsely accused... Etc
This brought me to tears on so many levels, I'm so glad there are men like you still out there. God bless you sir, please keep sharing your God given wisdom
If my Dad was even half the Dad you are my life would have turned out completely different! Thank you for sharing this! ❤-Erica
As a father, grandfather, and a great grandfather I know what evil lurks in the world for my daughter, three granddaughters, and one great-granddaughter, I have made it my life goal to protect them, and to teach them how to protect themselves for when I meet my maker, thank you for this inspiring video.
Yeah but don’t forget to teach your sons and grandsons etc. to behave and respect women. In college they tend to be predatory, and as adults as well.
@@truehappiness4Uand to respect women, while still respecting yourselves.
Very well done. Most of this can be applied to fathers of sons, and also to husbands. As a husband of a woman that was raised by a horrible father, you have no idea how bad you can mess little girls up by not being a good and strong father. My wife is still (at 34 years old) figuring out why she has the emotional problems she has. We, as fathers owe our children much better than we are giving them in most cases.
I hugely appreciate this comment ❤
Thank you for making this video! I came across your video today and Lord knows I want to cry!!!!! "Tell your daughters you love them" is what I told my husband to tell our girls and it will save them a lot of heartbreak!!!!!!
I love this HUSBAND/FATHER/SON/FRIEND ~ VERY LUCKY PEOPLE TO HAVE YOU IN THEIR LIFE.
As a single father to a beautiful 7-year old daughter, all 4 points hit home for me. Especially number 4. I work as a drug counselor with sex offenders who’re referred to me from the probation system, and I work with the monsters you’ve described. My job has truly opened my eyes to the evil in this world, and how these men view themselves and the people around them, and it’s from this awareness that I’m damn sure my daughter will have her license to carry the day she turns 21.
I’d be interested to hear what some of those monsters say. As a father myself, I’m always looking for more good advice and things to look out for.
@@TheUnsureFoxsecond this!
@@TheUnsureFox you can get a glimpse into that world by two images, look up one of a known serial killer's mugshot and look into their eyes, then look into the eyes of the people around you. The monsters of this world have nothing behind those eyes, there is a certain element people have even if we don't agree with them. But those who commit the worst of crimes have nothing behind their eyes.
@@intothew1ld2 The eyes are the window of the soul. It’s a sixth sense we have when we can see someone is a monster by looking at them.
@@intothew1ld2 this isnt exactly sound advice, a lot of the time the people who hurt others are close to them and so no one suspects them or doesnt believe the victim
This is heartbreaking to hear after my physically abusive and verbally abusive father. This is what I’ve always wanted. It was an ache that I turned to the wrong guys to fulfill. I’m 37 and I’m still not over it.
Sarah, you need healing. Seek therapy to help. From a woman about your age who went through the same, it's possible to overcome and heal. Till then, you'll keep attracting bad guys bc you haven't dealt with the pain inside. Do it for you and also for the ones around as well. All the best! ❤
Welcome to the club of abusing fathers. It is hard to get over it but with a lot of self love time and theraphy i could overcome it. It took me a long time but I healed.
It is the only way, healing is hard but not impossible
I don’t think you ever “get over it,” but you CAN learn from it, heal a lot of the pain, and become a healthier person. Please get some therapy. 💜
"Once you get desperate for love, you become easy prey." - Sun Tzu
@@magnetar28I can't stand people promoting an organisation that has harbored and protected proven pedophiles, FOR DECADES. And that's where you'd suggest people go for emotional healing? Are you crazy?
My first date with the CMSgt’s daughter when I was in high school came with one line of advice from dad…”have fun tonight, but if you make her cry I will make you cry.” I used the same line with my daughter’s prom date 25 yrs later.
One day you won't be there to protect her from the monsters. You have armed and armoured them immensely. Who's going to protect the monsters... ❤
I raised my two sons the way you describe. They are good men now.. one of them is the father of three daughters. I just shared this with him.
And I bet they are conventionally attractive. It doesn't matter if women raise a son as long as he is physically attractive because despite a women's inclination to base things on emotion verses logic. The man will grow up ok if he is good looking. Now if the son is unattractive physically no women should raise him. A masculin man needs to. Not a women who gaslights nonsense that is not reality
As an Army Chaplain and father of 3 beautiful daughters, I concur with every word you said. I wish more soldiers would hear this message early and often to strengthen their relationships.
I felt this at my core as a daddies girls . I will always have the same opinion as your own. He taught me to change a tire and he taught me to protect my beauty. No one deserves bad treatment and that is something that rings so true. Love your videos; as I’m crying I will share this with my Father. Love that man. He’s my dude until he stops breathing and after
I wish parents were just as protective of their sons as they are of their daughters
I’ve got videos about raising sons as well
I raised 3 daughters. One divorce and a bad decision made my daughters in a vulnerable place. My Ex wife had control. Cost my daughters dearly. I think back I don't think I could have done anything different except Not marry her in the first place. Picking a good partner is really the most important thing to know about children.
Yep. Divorce is single handedly the worst thing that happened to my childhood. Lost my father due to it which is his own fault but I do agree the courts etc ostracize men.
Agreed - I was engaged to a guy who wasn’t good for me. My dad did try to accept it but told me to remember that whoever I married, half his DNA will be the kid’s.
This wasn’t the sole reason I broke up with him but was one of them!
This is why I don’t agree to legal marriage. But then again not many people are spiritual nowadays which is what the courts take advantage of greatly.
Yikes three daughters that is so cucked and brutal.
You hit it on the head! I have six kids. Three boys and three girls. Everything you said I tried to live and it shows with them. I’m now old and on my way out, but I know that they all will be ok! I’m proud of them all!
Beautiful. I'm a daughter who never knew her earthly father. It was hard to overcome, until i remembered God was the only father I needed. This video is so important for the future of our world. God be with you. God be with all fathers and daughters. 💝
I don't think I've ever seen a person that does videos like this that remind me so incredibly much of my own Dad. Granted, we was never military, but he worked odd jobs and at one time 3, to provide for us all. Your videos about parenting and being a Dad to daughters has opened my eyes to all the things my Dad has done for us (my mom, 2 older brothers, and two younger sisters. I'm the middle child and eldest daughter). I've started trying to show my appreciation and other like things for him when I was about 16(?). He would work 16-20 hour shifts that were not easy on him. So I began to leave little notes or letters on the table where he'd set his stuff. I've been doing this for 3 years now, and I wanted to know, from a Dad's perspective, does this ACTUALLY make him feel loved and appreciated?
My most recent one was on a sticky note of his favorite color saying (paraphrasing): I know work was tough and stressful, but I want you to know that I love you very much. Thank you for being, not my father, but my DAD. I procceeded to sign it and left it there with a plate of food.
As a grown woman, I just sent this to my Dad. It hit me. I never thought about what it was like for him having a daughter when our world is so scary.
Growing up without this has definitely caused a lot more pain and unnecessary drama in my life. It really damages little girls not to have this. Sometimes to the point of no return. Girls who have father's like this are extremely blessed.
He has proved over and over that he treats his wife very well! His love and respect for her goes without saying! So much respect for this man! I so wish there were many more like you in gov’t!
SERIOUSLY AWESOME!!! YOU ROCK BROTHER 🫡!!! GOD BLESS YOU NICK!!!
Thank you. I’m a father of beautiful twin girls. They’re five now, and I’ll admit that sometimes I’m a bit too quick to anger when they do something thoughtless. I’ll admit that I have administered punishments when I probably should’ve been more understanding. It breaks my heart. These are things I already knew, but hearing them spoken so eloquently really puts things into perspective
I highly recommend the book, "Parenting With Love And Logic." It'll change how you do business.
@@austinado16hey thanks I will check that out.
I'm 24 and going to get married to my first girlfriend this coming August. While we haven't made any major mistakes or what I'd consider very bad decisions, we do hope to have children. Thank you for sharing these learned lessons. They will be out to use.
Father to father, thank you for saying this.
6:37 Thank you so much for your candidness. We've all had those days as fathers brother. Lord have mercy! How heartbreaking that must have felt. Been there too unfortunately, but thank God our daughters have the courage to set us straight because yes, we absolutely do make mistakes, but having that humility to be corrected, THAT is the meekness our Lord Jesus Christ reminded us will inherit the Earth! 🙏🏼☦️
As a father of two grown daughters...I wholeheartedly endorse this message.
Imagine how amazing this world could be if people understood and aspired to be what a what a great father is.
Grounded Conservative values
It really would be a great world, but now men get slowly erased... For example trend k1ll0llm3n etc.. Scary... How can you unalive someone just for their different behaviour and body? Liberals are just crazy
AMEN! Hallelujah! Truth! ❤️
I love this. As a daughter with a great relationship with my dad, I can testify that this is so true. Good bless the dads who are willing to really be a father to their daughters
17M here
I am no way close to ever raising daughters, children even. But regardless, i can still appreciate your values, and learn from what others have gone through.
Thank you for sharing your stories, and particularly from such an objective, logical point of view. This is incredibly helpful for me, and all the other aspiring fathers that discover this video.
Lastly, thank you for being a strong role-model for all us men in this time where the definition of such a thing differs wildly depending on what corner of the internet you grew up on.
Hi, I’m a 16F. You’re so good at writing, and I can see you’re really mature. I just want to say, it’s SO nice to see that there are people like you at this age. Thank you. Praise God. ✝️❤️🔥🕊️👏 P.S. I just randomly came across this video lol, do you know if something happened to his daughter or?
As a dad raising a 4 yr old girl, i DEEPLY APPRECIATE YOU, and the position your using to spread knowledge and hope, value and a touch of guidance for us in the wolrd interested in listening...keep it up big guy
I guess you already do it, but just as a girl i would say - spend many time with your kid! My dad used to do it a lot when i was little girl. This really helps in creating strong bond between daughter and dad. Which is incredibly important
Amen Nick! I am old and broken now, but my daughter is strong, and she just married a young man that is my hero who will protect her after I am dust!! I also have a son that will protect my wife and all of the family! I am a lucky man!
0:26 Is ME! Thank you so much for hearing me! And thank you for helping my husband!! 👏👏👏