Funny thing about our relationship, we don’t argue and had a budget for over 40 years. We chat about things that affect us and come to conclusions and decisions together. Our end result is we’re happy, married over 40 years (and would do it again) debt free, and respect each other.
You two are always on point. Great podcasts. I truly find value in the podcasts and look forward to each one. "Spouses" was especially applicable to my current situation. Keep up the great work! Thank you.
I think my favorite so far is 'Adult Domestic Partner', which was in the drop down menu for emergency contact I saw the other day. I think this covers most situations of situations for significant others (that I see). This is a person I have decided that I will share adult life duties with, the person I have decided to share my home and time with. I am not married but have nothing against being married after seeing my parents and grandparents in successful long term marriages but get asked all the time when I am going to be married since we have been together for over 6 years. The answer for me is always 'who knows, we are happy where we are'.
My husband is my soulmate. I absolutely love him. I'm grateful that God has blessed me with him. I feel sorry for others who may settle on a spouse and be miserable. Never settle. You are worth more. Be with who you fit with...your missing piece of the puzzle❤️
Hi Joshua. My name is Kelly, and I’m a mom and psychiatrist living just outside New York City who has recently discovered your podcast. We are around the same age, and I have a son, Leo, the same age as Ella, so I feel connected to both your message as well as your life stage. I love your podcast, and I have been able to use concepts of simplicity to help both my patients and my two young boys. I thank you sincerely for putting your message out into the world. I wanted to write this comment today from a place of care and concern. In your podcast, you discussed feelings of severe depression that cropped up for you in the month of September. As someone who has dealt with depression both professionally and personally, I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that you are not alone in these feelings, and that although it is difficult to realize in the moment, they are temporary. I was so glad to hear that you are caring for yourself and reaching out to a therapist, but based on your family history of mental illness and how severe your symptoms sound, I wanted to suggest reaching out to a psychiatrist as well. As you mentioned in your podcast, these symptoms (and I say symptoms deliberately, as depression is an illness) are likely the result of a neurochemical imbalance that can be corrected with the right medication. I tell every single patient who comes into my office that medication is only half the battle, that true healing can only occur holistically, through healthful eating, exercise, restorative relationships, and the cultivation of joy - but that being said, medication can make a huge difference in the face of true biological illness. I would be happy to talk with you or support you in whatever capacity I can professionally or personally, or to see if I can recommend a psychiatrist to work with you in your geographic area. Thanks again for continuing to do this work, for giving us time and again a platform for contemplating a simple, meaningful life.
I love your discussion of labels! Really relevant to me as a vegan. We get so attached to labels in our community; it's common for vegans to tell other vegans "You aren't vegan because you do x." And we might turn down things due to being vegan just like you would due to being minimalist. Gives me a bit to think about!
Hi, sorry about your depression Joshua, hope your health will get better soon... Regarding the subject of this podcast, in France we have the words compagne (woman) / compagnon (man) and when you use it about a person, it means you're in a serious romantic relationship with someone, as if you were married without the paper. I guess you can translate it as "companion". It's really more than petit(e)-ami(e) girl/boy-friend. Have a nice week :)
Ok, here is the answer to your question, would I marry my husband again? The answer is yes. We`ve been married for 19 years. We are 46 years old (same age), we have only one child (she is eight years old) and in the mornings when they leave to school and work we have to give at least three kisses to each other before they go. We are a "Triada". But when we got married, we did itn because of his family, to show them respect. So, perhaps that is one reason. For us "marriage" was just a religious and legal thing to do so his family was "ok". We are mexican you know there for we are more traditional for certain things. but our relationship is not traditional at all. we`ve been more like best friends and partners and accomplices and lovers etc. It has not been easy but would I marry again this guy.... of course I would. Have an excellent day. ;)
I say “at the end of the day” a lot, too, 😂. In fact, I noticed it yesterday during a conversation and found myself trying to stop. After a while, I was just like, “What the heck!” At the end of the day, I’m gonna say “at the end of the day”.😂
I'm in full agreement on your view of a spouse relationship. but I do have to say, I have LIVED this truth. For some reason that piece of paper changes things. I don't know why (I'm not religious but my husband was). I even take a poll to my married friends, and they agree. if together 2yrs, or 10yrs before the paper, no matter religious or not, something changed after. I'm now divorced, but I'm one of those people who will ask, why not married?, as a way to get to know you better. As well as (like everyone does) use my own experiences in life to evaluate you and the world around me. there is a lot to be said about a couple that doesn't get the paper, and those things can be good things.
Even after almost 10 years of being in a relationship, 3 kids and 4 dogs later, we are still extremely attracted to one another, have a strong and passionate intimacy, are affectionate and romantic daily, even though we can argue sometimes we Always make up and say sorry or compromise, have supported one another in our goals, we both met when we each had absolutely nothing and together have continued to build. But What really told me he was the one was when I farted in front of him and he laughed and farted back....we still laugh Often (daily) with our toilet humor and still find each other sexy even in our unsexiest moments. This is all true love to me and what I believe will keep us going strong till we are old. Laughter, communication, passion, comprimise, respect, acceptance, understanding, instead of abhoring one anothers "flaws" we utilize the fact that we each have qualities that are different from one another and that add value to each others lives when put together. We put one another first every day...amazing things happen when ego is set aside.
Financially it was better for me and my children post divorce to have had that marriage contract. Hard to be parents to 3 kids and be covered legally should everything go wrong. Depending on the property, pension and laws in whatever country you are in, finances are rarely equal when childcare is involved. 💚
Enjoyed the podcast as always. Joshua, good on you for taking care of your mental health by recognizing it and talking to a therapist. I feel compelled to comment on your marriage views. Although I agree that marriage as a construct may be past its time, I feel you are coming at it from a place of privilege that you may not recognize. For females up through the 20th century, marriage was protection; if the male partner, who usually held all the "power," legally and financially, decided to dissolve the partnership, marriage provided a way for the female partner to avoid destitution. Even today, many partners (of both sexes) choose to be unemployed for a variety of reasons: family obligations, inability to establish careers (partners of military, for example, who move often), or disabilities, for example. A legal contract (marriage) provides protection to the less financially secure partner. As you pointed out, at least half of marriages end in divorce.
I know Ryan said it's his thing, not a marriage thing and yet the beginning is pure advertising for not getting married. I am a strong believer in marriage. If choosing the right partner, it makes life that much easier. Legally, financially and just every day - emotionally. I am lucky enough to have a husband that is on the same page as me on basic family values and everything else can be compromised on. Like, we both know marriage is till death due us part. So I don't stress out by constantly being perfect wife, looking, cooking good, worrying if my carrier is enough, etc. to hold his attention. I'm just me doing what I love to do, he's enjoying me being happy and vice versa. And we don't ever fight! I know I still will be married to him tomorrow, so do I really wanna yell at him for a dirty coffee cup next to the sink, not in it or yet another business outing or weekender. And then be grumpy for another week, 'cause you never know what one might say when you're angry. NO! Instead I say - hey, next weekend you're watching our 3 kids under 4 years of age while I go out and please put the coffee cup in the sink next time. Thanks honney! And we're good! 13years togeather, 9.5y married! For me, marriage actually simplifies our relationship!
this reminded me of an interview I was watching with Grace Jones the other day and she said she didn't believe in marriage because she doesn't believe in divorce haha
Negotiating skills are learned ... lacking know how .... is a struggle ...pride , get's in the way ... don't manipulate ... even offering solutions can be harmful ? Feeling inadequate can be threatening ? feeling dumb ? taking things personally when it wasn't meant that way ! Life is so much easier being single !
My husband and I have been married for almost 37 years. We are quite happy, maybe because we have been minimalists for about 15 years. I used to write a blog MinimalisticLifestyle.blogspot.com. Lately I just like listening to Matt and you guys. I know a lot of people who spent their marriages making their lives complicated through their money, stuff, and drama. They are ones that didn’t stay together. Love you guys💗
What a great question. Would you do this again? Be truthful with the answer. No, never.Culture is a prison when it comes to humans. Lies, Denial,Sneakiness never works . Trying to change people never works. God Bless the ones who are really truthfully happy with each other. I am sad to say that there's not many. Ask yourself that question...Would you marry again. The most important thing is to talk, and I mean really talk,. communication is 100% on both side. before you take the plunge. The universe is looking after you Josh and Ryan.
My partner and I have been together for 5 years and HAVE to get married in order to be together because we are in different countries. Neither of WANTED to get married, we just wanted to simply "be together" but, obviously, the government requires the piece of paper (and lots of our money 🙄)
My spouse gave me permission to let go of things that are past their prime. Holy socks, stained clothes, actually garbage. He isn't the most organized but he did give me clues to look for in his personality for how he treats or uses his things. It has become like a little inside joke, subtle clues that speak very loudly.
Religion is just a label and in my opinion, a negative one. Relationship can be just what you defined, a personal connection, a love and a genuine, sacrificial caring. I have that kind of connection with Jesus, and my life has become full of peace. Not easy. Not simple. But full of peace. I wish that peace to both of you and I wish the best to the both of you. As a believer, I pray that you would not see my comment here as judgmental, but rather, as a writing done out of love. Because we may all be different but truly we are all the same. We don't have to do it all alone; we weren't created for that. I love how respectful you are to your significant others. You are both practicing sacrificial love. This is good. I wish you the best.
I don’t think all ppl enter into a marriage bc it makes it harder for someone to hurt them. I’m actually scared to enter marriage bc it could potentially hurt me more should one of us want to up and leave one day. It would be so much harder and complicated to break up a marriage than a simple bf-gf relationship. That annoyance would REALLY hurt..
The government also mandates non-martial relationships. Once you hit the common law mark where you live you automatically have to follow their rules on breaking up, income tax etc unless you have a contract between you and your partner that says otherwise. My partner calls me his "wife" too. He was also previously married and is 38. I don't call him my husband and never will until I see a ring on my finger lol Congrats on your next big adventure - whatever it is!
Funny thing about our relationship, we don’t argue and had a budget for over 40 years. We chat about things that affect us and come to conclusions and decisions together. Our end result is we’re happy, married over 40 years (and would do it again) debt free, and respect each other.
You two are always on point. Great podcasts. I truly find value in the podcasts and look forward to each one. "Spouses" was especially applicable to my current situation. Keep up the great work! Thank you.
I think my favorite so far is 'Adult Domestic Partner', which was in the drop down menu for emergency contact I saw the other day. I think this covers most situations of situations for significant others (that I see). This is a person I have decided that I will share adult life duties with, the person I have decided to share my home and time with. I am not married but have nothing against being married after seeing my parents and grandparents in successful long term marriages but get asked all the time when I am going to be married since we have been together for over 6 years. The answer for me is always 'who knows, we are happy where we are'.
Would I marry my husband again? 100% yes!! I'm so incredibly lucky and blessed.
Generic positive youtube comment to help the minimalists
Very valuable topic. Thank you Joshua and Ryan for your insight.
My husband is my soulmate. I absolutely love him. I'm grateful that God has blessed me with him. I feel sorry for others who may settle on a spouse and be miserable. Never settle. You are worth more. Be with who you fit with...your missing piece of the puzzle❤️
Hi Joshua. My name is Kelly, and I’m a mom and psychiatrist living just outside New York City who has recently discovered your podcast. We are around the same age, and I have a son, Leo, the same age as Ella, so I feel connected to both your message as well as your life stage. I love your podcast, and I have been able to use concepts of simplicity to help both my patients and my two young boys. I thank you sincerely for putting your message out into the world. I wanted to write this comment today from a place of care and concern. In your podcast, you discussed feelings of severe depression that cropped up for you in the month of September. As someone who has dealt with depression both professionally and personally, I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that you are not alone in these feelings, and that although it is difficult to realize in the moment, they are temporary. I was so glad to hear that you are caring for yourself and reaching out to a therapist, but based on your family history of mental illness and how severe your symptoms sound, I wanted to suggest reaching out to a psychiatrist as well. As you mentioned in your podcast, these symptoms (and I say symptoms deliberately, as depression is an illness) are likely the result of a neurochemical imbalance that can be corrected with the right medication. I tell every single patient who comes into my office that medication is only half the battle, that true healing can only occur holistically, through healthful eating, exercise, restorative relationships, and the cultivation of joy - but that being said, medication can make a huge difference in the face of true biological illness. I would be happy to talk with you or support you in whatever capacity I can professionally or personally, or to see if I can recommend a psychiatrist to work with you in your geographic area. Thanks again for continuing to do this work, for giving us time and again a platform for contemplating a simple, meaningful life.
I listen to all episodes on Spotify so I dont watch this but I had to jump online to see what happens at 1:21:48 with the rings. It was worth my time.
I love your discussion of labels! Really relevant to me as a vegan. We get so attached to labels in our community; it's common for vegans to tell other vegans "You aren't vegan because you do x." And we might turn down things due to being vegan just like you would due to being minimalist. Gives me a bit to think about!
Very very nice inspirational episode- truly enjoy that. Thank you for all the kind authentic sharing. Hello from Hong Kong! 🙌🏼
Hi, sorry about your depression Joshua, hope your health will get better soon... Regarding the subject of this podcast, in France we have the words compagne (woman) / compagnon (man) and when you use it about a person, it means you're in a serious romantic relationship with someone, as if you were married without the paper. I guess you can translate it as "companion". It's really more than petit(e)-ami(e) girl/boy-friend.
Have a nice week :)
Ok, here is the answer to your question, would I marry my husband again? The answer is yes. We`ve been married for 19 years. We are 46 years old (same age), we have only one child (she is eight years old) and in the mornings when they leave to school and work we have to give at least three kisses to each other before they go. We are a "Triada". But when we got married, we did itn because of his family, to show them respect. So, perhaps that is one reason. For us "marriage" was just a religious and legal thing to do so his family was "ok". We are mexican you know there for we are more traditional for certain things. but our relationship is not traditional at all. we`ve been more like best friends and partners and accomplices and lovers etc. It has not been easy but would I marry again this guy.... of course I would. Have an excellent day. ;)
I say “at the end of the day” a lot, too, 😂. In fact, I noticed it yesterday during a conversation and found myself trying to stop. After a while, I was just like, “What the heck!” At the end of the day, I’m gonna say “at the end of the day”.😂
I'm in full agreement on your view of a spouse relationship. but I do have to say, I have LIVED this truth. For some reason that piece of paper changes things. I don't know why (I'm not religious but my husband was). I even take a poll to my married friends, and they agree. if together 2yrs, or 10yrs before the paper, no matter religious or not, something changed after. I'm now divorced, but I'm one of those people who will ask, why not married?, as a way to get to know you better. As well as (like everyone does) use my own experiences in life to evaluate you and the world around me. there is a lot to be said about a couple that doesn't get the paper, and those things can be good things.
Even after almost 10 years of being in a relationship, 3 kids and 4 dogs later, we are still extremely attracted to one another, have a strong and passionate intimacy, are affectionate and romantic daily, even though we can argue sometimes we Always make up and say sorry or compromise, have supported one another in our goals, we both met when we each had absolutely nothing and together have continued to build. But What really told me he was the one was when I farted in front of him and he laughed and farted back....we still laugh Often (daily) with our toilet humor and still find each other sexy even in our unsexiest moments. This is all true love to me and what I believe will keep us going strong till we are old. Laughter, communication, passion, comprimise, respect, acceptance, understanding, instead of abhoring one anothers "flaws" we utilize the fact that we each have qualities that are different from one another and that add value to each others lives when put together. We put one another first every day...amazing things happen when ego is set aside.
I'm game for #ScreenlessSaturdays. Growing up I guess we would call it Shabbat. Resets are the best
My boyfriend adds value to my life
Financially it was better for me and my children post divorce to have had that marriage contract. Hard to be parents to 3 kids and be covered legally should everything go wrong. Depending on the property, pension and laws in whatever country you are in, finances are rarely equal when childcare is involved. 💚
Enjoyed the podcast as always. Joshua, good on you for taking care of your mental health by recognizing it and talking to a therapist. I feel compelled to comment on your marriage views. Although I agree that marriage as a construct may be past its time, I feel you are coming at it from a place of privilege that you may not recognize. For females up through the 20th century, marriage was protection; if the male partner, who usually held all the "power," legally and financially, decided to dissolve the partnership, marriage provided a way for the female partner to avoid destitution. Even today, many partners (of both sexes) choose to be unemployed for a variety of reasons: family obligations, inability to establish careers (partners of military, for example, who move often), or disabilities, for example. A legal contract (marriage) provides protection to the less financially secure partner. As you pointed out, at least half of marriages end in divorce.
Great episode, guys! I’ve been struggling because my partner is not a minimalist and I’m not sure how to deal with our situation. Thanks!
Married 17 years. Together 20. Yes, we'd do it again!
I know Ryan said it's his thing, not a marriage thing and yet the beginning is pure advertising for not getting married.
I am a strong believer in marriage. If choosing the right partner, it makes life that much easier. Legally, financially and just every day - emotionally. I am lucky enough to have a husband that is on the same page as me on basic family values and everything else can be compromised on. Like, we both know marriage is till death due us part. So I don't stress out by constantly being perfect wife, looking, cooking good, worrying if my carrier is enough, etc. to hold his attention. I'm just me doing what I love to do, he's enjoying me being happy and vice versa. And we don't ever fight! I know I still will be married to him tomorrow, so do I really wanna yell at him for a dirty coffee cup next to the sink, not in it or yet another business outing or weekender. And then be grumpy for another week, 'cause you never know what one might say when you're angry. NO! Instead I say - hey, next weekend you're watching our 3 kids under 4 years of age while I go out and please put the coffee cup in the sink next time. Thanks honney! And we're good! 13years togeather, 9.5y married! For me, marriage actually simplifies our relationship!
I read a Reader's Digest joke years ago: doctors were overheard talking in the hall. "How can you afford to retire, you're only 50!?!"
One Wife
Just listened to the 6lack album. Love it!
this reminded me of an interview I was watching with Grace Jones the other day and she said she didn't believe in marriage because she doesn't believe in divorce haha
Negotiating skills are learned ... lacking know how .... is a struggle ...pride , get's in the way ... don't manipulate ... even offering solutions can be harmful ? Feeling inadequate can be threatening ? feeling dumb ? taking things personally when it wasn't meant that way ! Life is so much easier being single !
My husband and I have been married for almost 37 years. We are quite happy, maybe because we have been minimalists for about 15 years. I used to write a blog MinimalisticLifestyle.blogspot.com. Lately I just like listening to Matt and you guys. I know a lot of people who spent their marriages making their lives complicated through their money, stuff, and drama. They are ones that didn’t stay together. Love you guys💗
What a great question. Would you do this again? Be truthful with the answer. No, never.Culture is a prison when it comes to humans. Lies, Denial,Sneakiness never works . Trying to change people never works. God Bless the ones who are really truthfully happy with each other. I am sad to say that there's not many. Ask yourself that question...Would you marry again. The most important thing is to talk, and I mean really talk,. communication is 100% on both side. before you take the plunge. The universe is looking after you Josh and Ryan.
When in Mormon country, ALWAYS refer to her as your wife, LOL!
My partner and I have been together for 5 years and HAVE to get married in order to be together because we are in different countries. Neither of WANTED to get married, we just wanted to simply "be together" but, obviously, the government requires the piece of paper (and lots of our money 🙄)
My spouse gave me permission to let go of things that are past their prime. Holy socks, stained clothes, actually garbage. He isn't the most organized but he did give me clues to look for in his personality for how he treats or uses his things. It has become like a little inside joke, subtle clues that speak very loudly.
Religion is just a label and in my opinion, a negative one. Relationship can be just what you defined, a personal connection, a love and a genuine, sacrificial caring. I have that kind of connection with Jesus, and my life has become full of peace. Not easy. Not simple. But full of peace. I wish that peace to both of you and I wish the best to the both of you. As a believer, I pray that you would not see my comment here as judgmental, but rather, as a writing done out of love. Because we may all be different but truly we are all the same. We don't have to do it all alone; we weren't created for that. I love how respectful you are to your significant others. You are both practicing sacrificial love. This is good. I wish you the best.
working towards nothing. lol! DEAD ON.
Why the dislikes?
I don’t think all ppl enter into a marriage bc it makes it harder for someone to hurt them. I’m actually scared to enter marriage bc it could potentially hurt me more should one of us want to up and leave one day. It would be so much harder and complicated to break up a marriage than a simple bf-gf relationship. That annoyance would REALLY hurt..
Hang in there jfm
The government also mandates non-martial relationships. Once you hit the common law mark where you live you automatically have to follow their rules on breaking up, income tax etc unless you have a contract between you and your partner that says otherwise.
My partner calls me his "wife" too. He was also previously married and is 38. I don't call him my husband and never will until I see a ring on my finger lol
Congrats on your next big adventure - whatever it is!
I would do it all again ❤
I'm curious if Rebecca is still a Vegan now that Josh is eating meat. Do they prepare two different meals?
I love you guys but I'm not a Dave Ramsey fan. He's so condescending to his callers and his advice is not that great.
Sounds like lying if she's not your wife.