Keep the Memories, LOSE THE STUFF (the secret to letting go!) Podcast Ep. 27
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 лют 2024
- Are you struggling to downsize a home filled with memories? Does the fear and guilt of purging family keepsakes keep you from decluttering?
In this episode, Matt Paxton shares helpful insight on how to discern what heirlooms are worth keeping, and what to do with the rest.
IN THIS EPISODE:
-helping loved ones struggling with hoarding
-the most misunderstood thing about hoarders
-dealing with the guilt of stuff
-how does this actually work?
ABOUT MATT
Matt Paxton is a downsizing and cleaning expert, speaker, author, radio personality, and host of the 2-time Emmy nominated television show Legacy List with Matt Paxton.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff by Matt Paxton: amzn.to/3I3zOQJ
More info about Legacy List: www.mylegacylist.com/
Save the stories with Artifacts: artifcts.com/
Minimalism for Families by Zoe Kim amzn.to/4867IyC
Zoë Kim’s Instagram: raisingsimp...
Welcome to The Official Minimal Mom Podcast channel. If you'd like to hear previous episodes, you can find them on all podcasting apps including Apple Podcasts, Spotify and iTunes.
Thank you so much for listening and could I ask a favor? Would you mind subscribing? It helps UA-cam recommend this podcast to more friends. Thank you! Dawn
ABOUT THE MINIMAL MOM:
Hi, I'm Dawn, if we haven't met before, I'm married to Tom and we have four kids ages 8-13. We live outside of the Twin Cities in MN and have called ourselves minimalists for 8 years now. We got rid of 85% of our stuff and don't miss ANY OF IT!
If you'd like to see more instructional videos about minimalism and decluttering, be sure to check out my other channel @theminimalmom
This 70 yo grandma is Not keeping stuff! We do experiences. Those memories can’t be replaced.
I started watching UA-cam to view Hoarders episodes to help understand my issue, came across The Minimal Mom and started cleaning things out. 2 years later everything is getting under control. It is not easy, but you can do it! The mental aspects that Hoarders reviews was like having therapy, found so many commonalities. Dawn's decluttering advice was instrumental, "5 minutes matters" is the motto I live by. ❤ you both!
My daughter is the oldest daughter of the oldest daughter of the oldest daughter. And I exactly match the stereotype. This helps me realize I must break the cycle! My daughters do not have to take care of generations of things. They are not responsible for the entire family and their stuff!!
That resonates with me as well... not having to keep the family treasures.
When my grandfather passed away a year after my grandma, my dad arranged for the entire family to get together at their home, including cousins, aunts uncles, friends of the family etc. he gave all of us a colored sticker, and whatever we wanted we would put that sticker on it, If two people wanted the same item they would flip a coin to see who got it. I had so many wonderful memories of their home, I now have their record player, a cool 50’s lamp, an old telephone, and some of my grandmas jewelry I wear every day. My sister has the coockoo clock and we all love seeing it still! Just a few items to keep their spirits alive! 😊
I love the phrase "keep their spirits alive". I can relate to decluttering multigenerational estates. I have some decor items that I didn't like in their homes but am enjoying in mine. I have also been able to sell or donate to the right person and it has become an extremely pleasant memory.
He’s so right about voice recordings. I have a recording of my father reading his WWII POW diary. Layers and layers of meaning.
This is wonderful! Although now I'm crying. ❤
Dawn this was my FAVORITE podcast to date!!!!! The enthusiasm and compassion Matt for people and their memories just humbled me.
Agree 100%
I agree too!
I agree too!
My mom is a "packrat," and I grew up thinking I needed to keep everything because their was sentimental value in everything. Hoarders really helped me to see the danger in holding on to everything. It inspired me to clean out my fridge regularly, and to toss expired food, and just clean things. It also helped me to realize that people who hoard need help and compassion and not judgement. I think the show was inspirational. Now 15 years down the line and I'm getting inspiration from Dawn and minimalism. About 3 years ago I started to really declutter in earnest, and it has been so freeing having open spaces. I never realized how trapped I felt by my stuff until I got rid of most of it. Thank you Matt and thank you Dawn. You guys really are changing lives.
This podcast really speaks to me right now. As executrix of my parents' estate, I'm about to start the clean out of the family home to ready it for sale. It's great to have some tools to help deal with the emotional sides of this effort! Thank you both!😊
OMG Dawn, I have told my daughter she doesn't have a sentimental bone in her body. That just hit me hard to hear you say it. I just don't want them to forget. I'm in tears now and I will never say that again.
I used to watch hoarders for the motivation to clear out the junk. Matt Paxton is amazing at motivating people to keep from falling into hoarding before it’s too late.
lol! I always feel inspired to clean after watching it!
I can still hear Matt "I'm Matt Paxton, an Extreme Clean Specialist". Him and Dr Zasio were the dream team ❤ This was a great interview.
I laughed when Matt mentioned Bed Bath and Beyond coupons, because just this morning (before watching this), I FINALLY recycled my stash of BBB coupons! 😆
🎉😂❤
Ms. Dawn, I enjoyed this podcast so much with Mr. Paxton!!! I've followed you for a few years now, and you've greatly impacted my life. And, today, while listening, I had an epiphany. My maternal grandmother recently passed away, and she owned a significant amount of stuff. While I 100% agree with keeping only the sentimental items with a specific memory attached, I felt guilty for not wanting anything from her home as we didn't have the best relationship. I said all of that to say this, my epiphany was this, I have 1 item, for sure that takes up ZERO room on my silent to-do list as well as in my home!!! I am named after this grandmother!!! We shared the same middle name!!! When that hit my mind, it was like a load lifted from my shoulders!!! Now I don't have to feel guilty for not keeping her stuff!!! I hope that made sense. Please, keep this good stuff coming. With love from Mississippi, Jessica
The most cherished thing I got from Dads parents when they passed away was a pancake griddle bc my grandpa taught me how to make pancakes
That old griddle that idk how long will work means more to me than the random jewelry I was given that belonged to my grandma that I don't remember her wearing
Kitchen stuff from my mom's kitchen is the most special stuff for me, because I use it and remember her using it.
After our parents had to go into care my husband & I had to clean out 50 years of stuff from their homes. We took tons of stuff to the tip - broken chairs, tv cabinets, old papers & books, broken garden furniture, old shoes etc. They were from a generation that lived through the depression and WWII (in Germany) and then migrated to Australia. After that experience I realised that I didn't want my kids to have to deal with our stuff. I started decluttering and became more of a minimalist without realising that is what I was doing. Now whenever I have something that is still good condition I take a photo and send it to the kids & ask them if they want it. Sometimes they yes, often they say no. Either way it goes. My kids won't have to take tons of stuff to the tip when I die. The reality is, THEY DON'T WANT YOUR STUFF!!!
This is Gold! I love it! I teared up when Matt mentioned about how his son dressed up by himself for the first time after minimizing his clothes.
This is such a positive, joyfull conversation. Thank you two so much for bringing warm and fuzzy feelings into my day! And Dawn, your haircut makes you even more beautiful, you look amazing!
I volunteer at a local thrift store. We see a lifetime of stuff come through everyday.
Dawn!! I'm SO STOKED you had Matt on! I adore him! He's such a rad guy. Love you BOTH! Such an awesome episode. TYHB still is rocking in my house, thank you! ❤
I am currently helping a family clear out the home of their 100 year old Mom who passed away recently. I was one of the daily care givers and so I knew this wonderful woman who lived in her home of 68 years! This podcast was so perfect for the situation I am currently in with this family! I am struggling to clear out cupboards and closets, basements and attics, and all of the situations you describe are part of this experience. There were 5 generations living at one time and many of them were old enough to be thinning out their own vast collections! I am forwarding this podcast to all of them! Thank you so much!
In regards to the comment, "No one wants the stuff." My house is full of my grandmothers, my mothers, and my aunts stuff, and I got rid of my stuff. I love it, I wouldn't change a thing. Something for others to consider. Interesting podcast.
My friend had Grandmas mink coat made into an adorable teddy bear! Just a suggestion!❤❤
How cute is that wow
That might be the sweetest love story I have heard. Happy tears for Matt and Zoey!!
Thank you for sharing all this!!
That is so true what he said about all the items in your house only being worth about $8000. When my parents died, we did not want to have to go through all of their things ourselves, because I, the only daughter, is the only one who lived in the same town as our parents, and my two older brothers lived on the other end of the country. So we had people come in to look at having an estate sale, and they told us that the amount of money they would get for selling this stuff was not even worth their time and having to organize it for a sale. They said they would need to make $10,000 and the house didn’t even have that much stuff in it that would add up to that amount. So we ended up auctioning off the house and the contents. We didn’t get as much for the house as we would have hoped, for it was pretty much worth it because we did not have to get everything out of the house ourselves.
Raising hand. Adult daughter here. I was tasked with taking care of my parent's stuff along with settling their estates!
“GRANDMA’S A BAD ASS”!!!! 😂😂😂 Loved this interview so much Dawn, it was fab! xxxx
Wow, I wish my dad had told stories about the items he chose to keep, he was a child during the Depression and was in WWII. I've inherited all the things he thought were important, yet I don't have a story or memories of what he held on to. Makes me sad!
This episode was fun. Matt is so funny. I need to read his book. I was glad he mentioned asking other family members before donating family things. You never know who in the family might want something.
Oh my goodness! My favorite mashup!
Before youtube, hoarders used to motivate me to clean my house! Then we moved into a house/business building that was hoarded but it was a friend's parents house so we got it real cheap. 2100sqft house hoarded plus 2 attic spaces, 1200sqft studio space hoarded plus attic hoarded. The garage and attic space was also hoarded, and yard, and small storage building! Friends stuff plus his divorced parents stuff plus daycare building stuff, grandparents stuff! So I said I got this!😂 been benge watching hoarders! Then now we are finally at the minimalist part of it all. But I say all that to say thank you both for all you do. I feel like both of you are so kind to have hearts that truly want to help people. No popularity trip (although I think you two are a few of my favorites! ) You are both humble and have helped shape my household. Thank you!
Excellent video content. My dad wants to keep everything and expects myself and my sister to do the same. When my grandparents passed, it was very difficult for him to deal with their belongings. I, like you, kept things that I saw them using or that I used when in their home while they were alive. I have a spoon and a chair, two tiny plastic dolls and a piece of cedar wood that my grandpa whittled. He wood comes out at Christmas in a red plaid box and the rest are in use or displayed. I think it was Peter Walsh that convinced me to either honor the items or get rid of them. Storing is not honoring. I am slowly convincing my dad of some of these principles. Thank you for your continued support and inspiration.
Dawn and Matt, I agree with the stories. I asked my 70 year old parents (who are in great health), to write down the stories of what items are important to them. Also, in a few pieces that I have inherited I put who the original owner was and then how it was passed down in the family.
Great talk! I'm sentimental about a lot of my stuff if it belonged to grandma & great grandma and i keep thinking i could sell it all but you're right, no one will pay what i think it's worth. Of all the things you mentioned, Matt, the memory our grandparents have of items that we think this is just junk. We moved my mom, age 80 and hadn't moved in 30 years after my dad died, and we were putting most stuff on the donate pile. Then out of the blue she had a meltdown with all the tears and harsh words. That's when we just boxes it all up and let her go thru it after she moved into a much smaller place. She kept most all of it & just deals with the clutter & i still get frustrated. That's why I'm trying to take care of my stuff now so my daughter doesn't rashly toss my stuff.
Yes, the fur coat. My mother’s fur coat. My sister has it and occasionally we’ll both look at it and sigh in resign. Not quite at the donate to an animal shelter, but I know that’s eventually where it will go and now it’s just taking up real estate in my sisters guest closet. No one here wants it.
Matt you were you are so right about tips and lists. When I decided to repaint my office and take out a shelf, that’s why I had to repaint the last person painted around it, so the paint was necessary and an opportunity to change the color. I tried to Marie Kondo and pull everything into my living room and then only put back what mattered instead I ended up for days and weeks going through boxes and tote bags and, everything else on a side tangent. What I found Hilarious in the pile I discovered Articles upon articles about decluttering, which I had torn out to read later and never had. The majority of that side of the room was wishful thinking, and not implemented. Dawn, since discovering your UA-cam channel, I have gone through and tried to embrace the minimal lifestyle as an interior designer that is easier said than done. I definitely have problems with horizontal spaces. My side of the kitchen table tends to be a dumping ground. I am in recovery as a clutter bug. My desk in the office another nightmare. I love when it gets cleaned off but when I don’t use the desk I just dump back on it. Actually enjoy helping people Declutter and I was saying to my mom about an hour ago that I think I’m going to shift my business so thank you Matt for inspiring that as well to go forward with it it was just a brainchild two hours ago. I have been following Dana K White since seeing one of Dawn‘s videos and I forget how I came across Cas by the way, I’m a bee. I definitely loved the home edit while being home during Covid. I am a little bit of a weirdo before that came out now I am justified by taking off my closet doors and organizing my clothes by color, it used to be past its limit and I don’t know how people go with 40 hangers only but I am definitely trying to embrace the containing end of containers. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to watch the legacy list. I am a big sap end up crying just thinking about the stories that your show is going to uncover. My father passed away from suicide in 1996 even though I have lived longer than he ever did, he was still a huge impact in my life, and why my natural talents for interior design flourished to follow in his footsteps, even if his journey was short.
Very moving to hear the regret about not having a record of your fathers voice. I don't think there are any videos of me with my children and that is definitely something i am going to try and change. They may not want my physical items, but hopefully they'll want memories of us together doing the simple things♥️
The part about the BedBath&Beyond mailers had me laughing out loud! I’m willing to bet there must be at least 5 stuffed in random drawers still at my grandmas today 😂 Relatable!
Decluttering is one thing but de-trashing mountains of stuff is another level.
I almost never comment, but am a long time fan of Dawn and ‘finally’ a member of TYHB. I’ve listened to just about anything I could find of Dawn’s over the past 3.5 years (I think)…and this podcast very well may be my favorite thing I’ve heard yet. Perfect mashup of backgrounds and approaches to life, COMPLETELY matches my own personal life situations and experiences. *chef’s kiss!* THANK YOU, DAWN, for all you do and all the education(and encouragement) you’ve pulled together. I’ve been so incredibly blessed by your work, and your heart comes through beautifully! ❤
Looking forward to hearing you (Dawn) interview Zoe one day soon!!! 😊
This is one of the best podcasts I have ever lissend to. Love Max Paxton.
The worst mom guilt I have: ADHD Daughter- Mom I can’t!
Me- it’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t!
No, she couldn’t. Finally she asked for something that she could take to help her. Her diagnosis wasn’t until the 7th grade. I’m sorry my love. 3 months ago, at 55 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD.😢
Please don’t be too hard on yourself. You didn’t know, and you probably had a hard time yourself without knowing your diagnosis. But I get the mom guilt feeling.. have a lot myself towards both my grown up kids. But as we know better, we do better. So forgive yourself 🥰 I’m sure your daughter already has. Blessed be! ❤️
I love legacy list. I wish he went into more detail on how to honor the legacy list items. Like ways to preserve family heirlooms, display safely, how to care for and maintenance those items. One of the things I’m working on is not just storing special family heirlooms, but displaying them. I just get overwhelmed with how to do that without ruining things.
I have switched from saving things that can be displayed to things that can function. My Bundt pan was grandmother’s and has a big ol dent where I dropped it in the floor as a little girl. She made a lot of masterful cakes in that pan and it takes up the same space as a less meaningful one I’d have had regardless, since I make cakes in a Bundt pan all of the time.
I was just watching an episode of hoarders this morning with Matt on. He really has a heart for people! Now to see this…how awesome to hear his heart for people in a more in depth way. This was great!
Matt Paxton is the best!! So funny, and yet personable and thoughtful. Great guest!! ❤
My mom's yellow bowl...best memories.... cookies, bread, potato salad...etc. she got it as a wedding gift in 1939!
Probably my favorite episode so far! Wow, a smile the whole time and a calm on how I can approach eventually cleaning out my parents house! Just beautiful souls, both of you!
I am so excited that you are interviewing him!!! This is about to be the best show ever and I have not even started watching it yet. I feel like I am in for a treat. Yay!!!
I was so grateful for your last podcast where you talked about saying no to free stuff. I was at the dentist yesterday where every 6 months they give each of us a reusable bag with all the dental samples and are pushy about it. Proud to say this time I said “no thank you”!!
Sometimes they charge for it 😮.
Wow! Awesome to hear his perspective on how things are at the end of a loved one's life.
Dawn, this was an AWESOME interview with Matt. It is so inspiring and interesting. Also, I'm now constantly asking myself your two questions; "Could I live without it" and "What would I use instead?" These have both helped me peel through more of my onion layers. Thanks so much for what you do.
I miss the Front porch. We always gathered there and told stories.
This made me laugh because I literally just decided that I could let go of my bed bath and beyond coupons about a week ago...I am great at minimizing and donating, but for whatever reason, those were so hard to let go of 😅
Wow! Thanks for the great interview with Matt. What resonated with me today especially was his explanation that people aren't hoarding intentionally, but rather trauma has made it a current struggle for them. I gained a helpful perspective that I needed to help a relative.
Aww Matt is so fun to watch! I didn't know he's from Virginia! :) Great episode! :)
Hey Dawn! Not sure if you realized this, but I tried listening to this episode on Spotify and you accidently uploaded the last episode again instead of this interview! Just wanted to let you know of the duplicate! 😊❤
Great episode! I’ve heard you talk about sentimental items and this just took it another step- or made the step wider/bigger. Helping my mom with her stuff and this will be a big help😊 it’s the stories has a deeper meaning for me now
I really liked this. I'm going to look up his show . Thanks for featuring him.
I've always liked Matt. Didn't know about his new show on PBS!
It has been on for a few years now. It is amazing. It helps you decide what is important.
Great podcast ... thank you Dawn and Matt ... Next Zoe !!
What an amazing episode! This is just what I needed right now.
Wow!! This guy and his resources are amazing! Thank you for having him on the podcast!
This is such a well done interview! Thank you!
This was an excellent conversation! Thanks so much, Dawn and Matt.
Definitely one of the best podcast episodes. I really enjoyed reading Matt's book, too. Highly recommend.
LOVE hearing about Legacy List===Matt Paxton is wonderul!!!!!
"Hot Grandma"! I enjoyed this SO much 😍
I LOVE The Legacy List! We've seen every single episode, even the new 1/2 hour episode season. I miss the full hour. I LOVE the idea of a Legacy List and want to do this with my Mom and Dad. We only see them 1 week a year. ugh. The past two years I've gone up to the attic and decluttered MY things for 1-2 hours for 1-2 days. Each year I make my "treasure list" of things I want to find and take the rest to the Goodwill or trash or burn pile. I'm currently working on the list for this year. I'm hoping this will eventually give some incentive for them to do it, too. My Dad has said, when they die he wants to make sure I look through EVERYTHING before we throw it out: 3 outbuildings, full attic, basement, and 2 "junk/stuff" rooms". We're still working on our own home and we love Matt's book. I'm glad he rewrote it. It's super helpful!
Great podcast!
I love the video! I’m so glad you got to interview Matt Paxton! It’s so humorous to me how young the grandparents are Matt is speaking on. I’m only 33 and my grandmother was absolutely not at Woodstock. She was that age in the 50’s! It would’ve been my mother. lol
I wish I'd had more kids. They're wonderful!
I used to watch Matt on Hoarders. My husband and I used to call him an angel. So kind and compassionate to his clients.
His yes/no/maybe approach with handling the “maybe” pile last works SO well. My stepsister and I cleaned out my stepmother’s house when she died last year and this is what we did. So much of the “maybe” pile became “no” when we circled back to it, and we didn’t feel bad about saying no at that point.
This episode is terrific!!!
Awesome Dawn loved this❤
Loved this... thank you so much ❤.
So so so good!
This was great! Thank you!!
Such good content! Thank you for sharing the importance of the stories behind the stuff! And recording our family
Love this! Such great info.
Excellent information. So relatable. Thanks!
This is one of my faves; thanks Dawn!💕
Love this video!
great episode!!! thank you both!!!
I love this interview. What a good heart. My mom holds on to too much stuff which turned me into a minimalist, so it hits home.
Love today’s Podcast. Love you & Mat Paxton!
Really enjoying your podcast, thank you for sharing!
Most amazing podcast!!!! Thank you!
Wow! Amazing ❤
Love Both of You !!!❤❤❤
Thank you Dawn for talking to Matt!!!! You & he are my favorite!!!!! (Stacy from mentorship)
Loved this interview!
This was incredible!! Thank you Dawn
Thank you for sharing 💕
I look forward to hearing from you. It was nice visiting with you and your sister earlier today.
This is one of my FAVORITE episodes. Thank you for doing this. Just excellent.
Great podcast! Thank you! 🥰
This was sooo good
Great podcast! I learned so much and enjoyed the real conversation.
This was a really great show. Dawn. really appreciated you having Matt on. I enjoyed his story and his sharing of the
Artfcts app. I enjoy his empathy and ways of helping people who struggle with hoarding addiction.
My absolute new favorite episode! So endearing and fun to hear about his journey 😊 Must check out his new show!
What a great podcast and a lovely man! Full of inspiration and good outlook on life with less stuff. Super enjoyed this!!!
Wow, great info. I'm the oldest daughter. Cleaned out parents house of 35 years, including stuff from maternal grandma. Then my paternal grandma when her house was cleaned out, rescuing what my aunt was tossing, then my cousin who had stroke & had no family , I emptied her condo accumulation of 15+ years. Plus my own accumulation of 50+ years. Thanks Matt
❤ so interesting. I had a brother in law that hoarded belongings. He hoarded a variety of things
He was autistic and then later dementia. They have such a attachment to everything.