#11 Driving

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

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  • @rubansrirambabu7771
    @rubansrirambabu7771 5 років тому +251

    "You're a public servant, get me a glass of water."

  • @beezie687
    @beezie687 8 років тому +566

    "Cops, didn't see it, I didn't do it" Yep, that's my motto.

    • @MrTartancam
      @MrTartancam 6 років тому +15

      Nick Hughes "I'm gone!"

    • @walsh9080
      @walsh9080 5 років тому +4

      My cousin from America was shocked people observe driving laws in England when there's no cops around.

    • @hglim8927
      @hglim8927 5 років тому +8

      Nick Hughes ,Cop:Didn’t you see the red light ? Motorist : I didn’t see you .

    • @BooBat1960
      @BooBat1960 5 років тому +5

      No cop, no stop!

  • @TheSecondBeef
    @TheSecondBeef 5 років тому +161

    That whistle is just hilarious

    • @hockeyteeth
      @hockeyteeth 5 років тому +4

      I'm gone!!!!

    • @m106test3
      @m106test3 4 роки тому +2

      @Kill Team Charlie well then you have a problem

    • @paul-ye3ut
      @paul-ye3ut 4 роки тому

      100 likes

  • @BlackIris95
    @BlackIris95 11 років тому +248

    he would have loved Grand Theft Auto.

    • @AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA4AAAAAAAAAAAAA
      @AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA4AAAAAAAAAAAAA 4 роки тому +2

      @@tdoheron why

    • @behindthen0thing525
      @behindthen0thing525 4 роки тому +10

      @@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA4AAAAAAAAAAAAA because it's a video game and he was alive when it was out. GTA has been out since like the late 80's

    • @katyungodly
      @katyungodly 4 роки тому +9

      He was alive well into the GTA franchise

    • @pontiacmaniac7772
      @pontiacmaniac7772 3 роки тому

      Zedrik Allen that’s the truth. But people do things that aren’t good for them even though they know it is bad.

  • @philipthomas6808
    @philipthomas6808 5 років тому +25

    Thank you George for all the laughs! Even though you are gone, you will live here in the world of UA-cam for eternity...

  • @kennatiousc
    @kennatiousc 8 років тому +377

    i went 30 feet up in the air being hit by a car once. (must've been george)

    • @1Yooter
      @1Yooter 7 років тому +55

      What an honor.

    • @gurikasemit
      @gurikasemit 7 років тому +23

      by any chance were you jogging or biking ?

    • @Healthytruth
      @Healthytruth 5 років тому

      spiralacrobat apparentlyyou do not understand the reality and our rights

    • @IETCHX69
      @IETCHX69 5 років тому +1

      don lll2 years ago (edited)
      by any chance were you jogging or biking ? also 4:57 Well Georgey! Not sure how far this word , " F aggot " will fly in this day n age .

    • @hovercrip1820
      @hovercrip1820 5 років тому +1

      Your still alive see no harm at all. And now you know you can go up 30 feet and still survive

  • @hyperbolicraider4848
    @hyperbolicraider4848 5 років тому +135

    “If the cop didn’t see it. I didn’t do it”
    - George Carlin
    - Comedian
    - Philosopher
    - NonHuman

    • @davidtrindle6473
      @davidtrindle6473 5 років тому

      Michael Haflich NonHuman?

    • @Capcoor
      @Capcoor 4 роки тому

      Let’s hope this monologue was tongue-in-cheek.

    • @eliramirez3798
      @eliramirez3798 4 роки тому

      You misquoting asshole

  • @karlkamphefner8529
    @karlkamphefner8529 8 років тому +159

    I GET PISSED GODDAMN IT

    • @ZeHoSmusician
      @ZeHoSmusician 5 років тому +3

      (Yep, and not just at other drivers in my case...)

    • @smc1942
      @smc1942 5 років тому +2

      ME TOO!!!!-

  • @PabloGonzalez-hv3td
    @PabloGonzalez-hv3td 5 років тому +68

    I want to meet the person that looked at George Carlin and thought he needs to play a miniature conductor in a children's TV show

    • @asnowballinhell
      @asnowballinhell 5 років тому +5

      Lol, yeah. Loved that show though.

    • @katyungodly
      @katyungodly 4 роки тому +4

      Actually, if you look at the earliest clips of Carlin doing comedy in a suit with a shaved face, he was extremely clean looking! He also used to do a lot more clean comedy and I think he was even a recurring character on a kids show.
      I believe that comedians tend to get raunchier as they gain popularity because it is safer for their careers to do whatever they like once they’re well-known. Joe Rogan calls it “fuck you money”, as he was able to do whatever comedy he wanted with no filter after making his Fear Factory money.

  • @Professormegaman
    @Professormegaman  15 років тому +26

    He was a genius. I'm currently reading LAST WORDS, a kind of pseudo auto-biography of his compiled from multiple interviews. An interesting (and funny) read.

  • @beezie687
    @beezie687 8 років тому +87

    4:29 That would be iPod today. Damn George we need you more than ever now buddy.

    • @slickdin
      @slickdin 8 років тому +3

      It wouldn't be iPod xD

    • @tulkooo
      @tulkooo 8 років тому +1

      I too am wondering what would George say about the society now, he knew a lot of stuff will be coming but even he would be amazed today....

    • @ammarkhan6883
      @ammarkhan6883 7 років тому +6

      ipod died 3 years ago

    • @TheRealTrimBrady
      @TheRealTrimBrady 5 років тому +4

      Would've been iPod in 2001 😂

    • @gj6645
      @gj6645 4 роки тому +1

      Its airpods for this decade

  • @LarryB1984
    @LarryB1984 13 років тому +11

    "There's alot of shit you have to put up with when you're driving.......like red lights!.........WHEN DID THIS BULLSHIT START!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  • @joecrockrell04
    @joecrockrell04 6 років тому +5

    "Look he looks exactly like I thought he would, CONSTIPATED" 😂 I'm dead

  • @rogerscarlet4189
    @rogerscarlet4189 9 років тому +59

    I just laugh so much at everything George comes out with, I really regret I didn't even know he existed when he was alive, but then again I'm an alien how would I have known ?

    • @pandorasbox4238
      @pandorasbox4238 8 років тому +2

      He's been around since the 50's, I believe, so at least there is a lot to enjoy

    • @xxXthekevXxx
      @xxXthekevXxx 8 років тому +1

      ... an alien? Is that an American Dad reference because your name is Roger?

    • @madbear3512
      @madbear3512 5 років тому +1

      @@xxXthekevXxx
      Damn you I was say that

    • @behindthen0thing525
      @behindthen0thing525 5 років тому +1

      Alien?

  • @DoubleXStudios
    @DoubleXStudios 13 років тому +4

    "They give hand signals. He's gonna tell me where he's going. I'll tell you where you're going...you're going THIRTY FEET IN THE FUCKING AIR IS WHERE YOUR GOING!"
    LMAO

  • @stevencoffman34
    @stevencoffman34 5 років тому +6

    The funniest man who ever lived

  • @tulkooo
    @tulkooo 8 років тому +20

    my god this gig is damn funny i ve watched it like 20 times and its still good

  • @brucel399
    @brucel399 4 роки тому +8

    Could you imagine Carlin's take on today's society and happening? We miss you George

  • @lilly7358
    @lilly7358 8 років тому +90

    COP DIDN'T SEE IT I DIDN'T DO IT!

  • @ETRacing
    @ETRacing 5 років тому +4

    OMG, this is the best comedian EVER! RIP

  • @kylestubbs8867
    @kylestubbs8867 9 років тому +142

    A rare example of road rage where the victim is not in a motor vehicle.

    • @brittanysmall2124
      @brittanysmall2124 9 років тому +1

      +Kyle Stubbs Lmfao!
      XD

    • @jryder8754
      @jryder8754 5 років тому +1

      My brother has backseat passenger road rage. My dad was driving needing a cigarette and didn't have road rage

  • @MustangSam
    @MustangSam 12 років тому +2

    Carlin was funnier than anybody to me. This sketch is still my all time favorite. I can't imagine anyone who could ever be such a genius at comedy like he was. The way he could remember all of this stuff and just go on and on without hesitating will amaze me forever!

  • @mikemccourt6225
    @mikemccourt6225 8 років тому +19

    Happy birthday George

  • @brittanysmall2124
    @brittanysmall2124 9 років тому +35

    Its Michelin on Nike Time!
    xD

  • @nestlucky2318
    @nestlucky2318 5 років тому +25

    Dudes road raging without being on the damn road

  • @cinemaker006
    @cinemaker006 13 років тому +7

    I like the Carlin in Campus driving bit better, where he sits in the chair and reenacts the incidents.

  • @ted8778
    @ted8778 9 років тому +1

    His face when he says "to protect their special little heads" is priceless. 5:01

  • @hamzterix
    @hamzterix 5 років тому

    You have no idea how much I relate to this driving jokes. 🤣👍
    "Everyone, in position, he's leaving the house"

  • @ronaldh8446
    @ronaldh8446 5 років тому +12

    5:56 - andtheygetyousofuckinpissedoffsomeofthesepeopleintheircarstheygetyousofuckinpissedoff!!!
    LMAO!

  • @packerweeb2611
    @packerweeb2611 Рік тому

    Absolutely hilarious 😂 gotta love Carlin man

  • @mahendraprabhu5260
    @mahendraprabhu5260 8 років тому +39

    "Cops didn't see, I didn't do it" that's our motto in India.

    • @lewbear6738
      @lewbear6738 8 років тому +17

      thats the motto of the universe

    • @madbear3512
      @madbear3512 5 років тому +1

      Or Chicago

    • @rubansrirambabu7771
      @rubansrirambabu7771 5 років тому +4

      In India, we look both ways while crossing a one-way street.

  • @billajello9686
    @billajello9686 7 років тому

    There will never be another comedian like him..EVER!When they made George, they shattered the mold. Nobody has been able to make laugh the way he does, besides the Honeymooners.

  • @JAISE1994
    @JAISE1994 14 років тому +2

    I love his suggestion about how to get out of a ticket

  • @jenniferbassfirstchannel
    @jenniferbassfirstchannel 4 роки тому

    I love this video George Carlin and I think alike! lol!

  • @randallbanks1589
    @randallbanks1589 13 років тому +3

    I miss him so much.

  • @noobinator9854
    @noobinator9854 5 років тому +10

    This guy was a champion thought-provoking comic troller, you will be missed buddy..and imagine talking like that to cops, that would be insane...i love driving though

  • @yif1274
    @yif1274 Рік тому

    Love ya george. Thanks for making people more aware

  • @janwitt4418
    @janwitt4418 4 роки тому

    Not too bad of a compilation, Not everyone loves george but I DO! Christopher Meyer

  • @hockeyteeth
    @hockeyteeth 5 років тому +2

    Everyday, I get behind an asshole driving 20 mph. Everyday fucking day.

  • @armandprovost9342
    @armandprovost9342 8 років тому +205

    If George were alive today, can you imagine what he would have to say about Hillary and Trump... Damn... That would be a spectacular show! Too bad, would have Loved to hear that shit...

    • @carloscolon9309
      @carloscolon9309 8 років тому +35

      his Trump material would take up several specials alone, guaranteed.

    • @xxXthekevXxx
      @xxXthekevXxx 8 років тому

      Armand Provost we can only hope Louis CK will say something about it lol

    • @nancyomalley6012
      @nancyomalley6012 8 років тому +1

      But I'm sure those in Heaven are enjoying his act!

    • @ashtonsmith1905
      @ashtonsmith1905 6 років тому +14

      Only comedians who run put of jokes make fun of trump...carlin wouldnt stoop to their level

    • @klmullins65
      @klmullins65 6 років тому +8

      @john oboczky He'd probably formed his opinions on Trump and Hillary long before he died... before either were involved in politics

  • @TheMurlocTamer
    @TheMurlocTamer 5 років тому +19

    Driving at night and being tailgated by a truck allows me to finally finish reading Harry Potter

  • @chrisduitsman2918
    @chrisduitsman2918 5 років тому +28

    I wonder what he would say about people using their cell phones while driving, or texting while driving for that matter.

    • @SuperNerd9695
      @SuperNerd9695 Рік тому

      He actually did comment on it, he called them "self important cellphone cretins."

  • @shawnr771
    @shawnr771 5 років тому +7

    In Dallas if a turn signal flashes more than once when changing lanes.
    That is a factory defect.

  • @RevanaViv
    @RevanaViv 5 років тому +9

    I wonder if the kids these days knows what a walkman is. Ah the nostalgia.

  • @dab44lb
    @dab44lb 8 років тому +17

    I just happened to have a copy of Ivanhoe with me!!!

  • @EPJamesMacAdams
    @EPJamesMacAdams 11 років тому +53

    Get me a glass of water

    • @jayer-su3hu
      @jayer-su3hu 5 років тому +2

      If a woman cop tell her to make you a sammich lol

    • @dubsteperdancer
      @dubsteperdancer 5 років тому +1

      Somehow. I scrolled down to this comment the exact time he said that.

    • @smc1942
      @smc1942 5 років тому +1

      Screw that!
      "Bring me two chilidogs, & a large Dr Pepper."

  • @nice8D
    @nice8D 5 років тому +13

    George Carlin kind of reminds me of Robin Williams in this video.

    • @michaelmaggi1743
      @michaelmaggi1743 5 років тому +6

      Totally. Didn't think about it till you said it. It's the speed he talks. I'm also pretty sure Robin Willams was Carlin fan. And vice versa

  • @brianviera9539
    @brianviera9539 5 років тому +9

    He would have a field day with red light cams and freedom in 2019.

  • @abidmehsood3340
    @abidmehsood3340 5 років тому +4

    Walkman... who remembers?

  • @JFINZ889
    @JFINZ889 11 років тому

    one of the best skits ever. good post

  • @angryface7135
    @angryface7135 5 років тому +3

    George Carlin practically gave Rockstar the idea for GTA5. Amazing!

  • @jte2457
    @jte2457 13 років тому +3

    George.... was the best

  • @boxermccoy
    @boxermccoy 7 років тому

    I was dying, that bike shit was too much! (:

  • @ummagumma00
    @ummagumma00 11 років тому +3

    You're Going AWAAAAYY!!

  • @americanaviator676
    @americanaviator676 14 років тому +4

    Carlin at the top of his fucking game!

    • @patricemarie2960
      @patricemarie2960 5 років тому

      .... And to think??? ..... He made a living
      at this game! .....

  • @craftycriminalistwithms.z3053
    @craftycriminalistwithms.z3053 5 років тому

    This came in my feed at the perfect time. “F*#k ‘em im gone!” Yup, that’s my new motto!

  • @gtamediaproductions1
    @gtamediaproductions1 4 роки тому +1

    If Carlin ever became the Joker for a Batman film he would have put the cap on all of them. Imagine that.

  • @yellowtailhunter
    @yellowtailhunter 12 років тому +3

    I could hardly take a breath almost died laughing!

  • @jeffreyhill715
    @jeffreyhill715 7 років тому

    This is funny to hear that he does not stop for red lights anymore.

  • @avengerscap
    @avengerscap 5 років тому +3

    "How to Get Arrested for Making Terrorist Threats." New century, new madness.

    • @ferox965
      @ferox965 5 років тому

      Carlin was always on a hit list, right from the classic 7 dirty words piece. If they were upset about Kathy Griffin or Michelle Wolf, they couldn't handle Saint Carlin.

  • @RT42069
    @RT42069 5 років тому +9

    I'd like Officer401, Donut Operator, or Mike the Cop to react to this

  • @JujuInFlames
    @JujuInFlames 4 роки тому +1

    “I can’t drive faster, the roads blocked” dio: 1:08

  • @kikoayari1962
    @kikoayari1962 4 роки тому

    I can’t cut the world up because I have family and people I really admire.

  • @djquinn11
    @djquinn11 4 роки тому

    I love the fact that George never laughed at his own jokes.

  • @robertquinn8210
    @robertquinn8210 5 років тому +1

    People really don't understand irony. But they'll give it a standing ovation, won't we?

    • @zeropointfool
      @zeropointfool 7 місяців тому

      I know it's an old comment, but I can't get over how the audience keeps cheering and hollering like "YEAH, YOU'RE SO RIGHT! SO RIGHT!!", then go real quiet when he turns it around.

  • @MySerpentine
    @MySerpentine 8 років тому +2

    Sounds like Raoul Duke's method of dealing with cops LOL

  • @IronMan-tk8uc
    @IronMan-tk8uc 4 роки тому

    By this point, Carlin's act was still more or less clean but when the 90s started rolling, by golly, he went full on misanthropic and bitter (which I absolutely love it).

  • @matthewsteenbergen7847
    @matthewsteenbergen7847 5 років тому +2

    Get me A Glass of water.

  • @OhNooez
    @OhNooez 6 років тому +10

    Imagine if he were alive today, with people texting/distracted while driving

  • @davidcawrowl3865
    @davidcawrowl3865 5 років тому +2

    But what chaos would ensue we have if we didn't have red lights. I shudder to think.

  • @OriginalKarasu
    @OriginalKarasu 5 років тому +3

    Holy fok it's 10 years ago on the video... it took me a while for me to realize, i thought it said 10 hours ago XD

  • @jamesslick4790
    @jamesslick4790 4 роки тому

    Predicted "Sovtards", in first 4 minutes! LOL

  • @GapingLotusX
    @GapingLotusX 4 роки тому

    I ran a red light today and made the whistle and hand gesture

  • @ricky-xo9yu
    @ricky-xo9yu 5 років тому

    No cop no stop😂😂

  • @ericcartman1425
    @ericcartman1425 5 років тому

    "You Asshole in a Hat!" LOL

  • @navidpey194
    @navidpey194 4 роки тому

    He just did GTA in one skid

  • @gmar7836
    @gmar7836 4 роки тому

    George would absolutely hate driving around Boston if he were alive

  • @eveningtsar
    @eveningtsar 5 років тому

    7:16. Yeah, that one gets me too. . .

  • @lloyd9710
    @lloyd9710 5 років тому

    They didn’t see it I don’t do it 😂😂

  • @nigelrichardson4327
    @nigelrichardson4327 8 років тому +3

    The thing that bothers me the most when I'm running errands with my mom is when we're behind someone and the come to a turn but like 500 feet away the starting slowing down ..... The come to a almost complete stop, turn on their blinker, and THEN make the turn.... I say to myself WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PUT YOUR BLINKER ON 100 FEET AWAY AND TAKE THE TURN AT 15 MPH

    • @gordenwood7853
      @gordenwood7853 6 років тому

      Nigel Richardson Well I like the joggers and bicyclists hell.he would have a field day with ppl on their cellphone driving or walking.

  • @baron8107
    @baron8107 12 років тому

    4:42, good god! I couldn't stop laughing!!!

  • @gillestremblay3465
    @gillestremblay3465 10 років тому +13

    It's Michelin on Nike time!!!

  • @bobpeterman7613
    @bobpeterman7613 4 роки тому

    When I was a cop in Indianapolis .I actually had a person grab the ticket & throw it on the floor board of her car. I just told her to have a good day.

  • @procreatives4910
    @procreatives4910 4 роки тому

    He’s great

  • @jackjak100
    @jackjak100 14 років тому +6

    hell got funnier when he died *sigh* but we still miss him R.I.P. George Carlin

  • @flackvgenetics7817
    @flackvgenetics7817 6 років тому +3

    I was all the likes were going towards George Carlin , his family could live on in his thousands of fans liking every video. $

  • @bobpeterman7613
    @bobpeterman7613 5 років тому

    Go George go.

  • @veganviking4929
    @veganviking4929 8 років тому +4

    I wonder if it was George that hit me with his car when I was riding my bike one night...

  • @BiohazardousLlama
    @BiohazardousLlama 12 років тому +1

    The three dislikers are the joggers George was talking about.

  • @arckocsog253
    @arckocsog253 5 років тому

    He's my spirit animal. Or Joanna Lumley.

  • @species8472cze
    @species8472cze 12 років тому +4

    omg magic wizard, please tell us more about these magnificent walkman devices! No seriously, i dont really think that anyone who dont know what walkman is watches George Carlin. Also you made me feel old and i dont like that!, shit i propably got my old walkman around here somewhere ! :D

  • @aSliceOfChoccyMilk
    @aSliceOfChoccyMilk 5 років тому

    The ultimate no cop no stop

  • @vincentfresco5767
    @vincentfresco5767 4 роки тому

    What album is this from ????

  • @buffalotamer
    @buffalotamer 13 років тому +2

    @jte2457 lol, he is still the best... just cuz he's dead doesn't mean that there are comedians out there that beat him.
    Of course, I'm entitled to my opinion... please don't shoot me.

  • @MrsJasmyn45
    @MrsJasmyn45 12 років тому

    That's also my motto in traffic

  • @JBIRNI3
    @JBIRNI3 5 років тому

    Which george carlin show was this? I'd love to see the full one

    • @brookuslicious
      @brookuslicious 4 роки тому

      James Birnie I want to say it’s George Carlin: What Am I Doing in New Jersey?

  • @krugg2798
    @krugg2798 4 роки тому

    7:30-7:45 Perfect XD

  • @cjhernandez1198
    @cjhernandez1198 4 роки тому

    I'll be frank. Diogenes would be proud of this sonava

  • @americanaviator676
    @americanaviator676 14 років тому +4

    @OTownDave God, same. HEY BUDDY ARE MY BRIGHTS WORKING TELL ME OF THEY ARE. I oblige them. I slam on the brakes. Hell, my car is a piece of shit anyways, I'm a pilot! Then when they get out and yell, I tell 'em that Braking is my way of telling them his brights are working fine. Or, at least they were.

  • @kadencarr1914
    @kadencarr1914 8 років тому

    i cant stop laughing!!!!