Wacky War Tactics in yet another Nutshell

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  • Опубліковано 12 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,5 тис.

  • @BlueJayYT
    @BlueJayYT  Місяць тому +341

    YARRGHHEEEE IT BE HERE, MATEY!! → youtooz.com/products/bluejay
    Rápido, rápido! Once they sell out they'll be gone FOREVER! We worked really hard to get this pirate BlueJay right and I can honestly say it came out AMAZING! I hope you all enjoy :)

    • @ayanacharya9747
      @ayanacharya9747 Місяць тому +6

      @BlueJayYT was waiting for the video man. Make the bird flap it's wings. Animate the birds wings and move it's legs, and re-upload quickly.

    • @chuck9693
      @chuck9693 Місяць тому +4

      33 minutes after the upload time nice

    • @thewhitewolf58
      @thewhitewolf58 Місяць тому +1

      I love how both you and jack rackham can turn any part of history into a comedy sketch.

    • @unicornep1818
      @unicornep1818 Місяць тому +1

      My fav history-ish channel. keep it up I luv it

    • @lukearts2954
      @lukearts2954 Місяць тому

      Tiz a good day to die, but the Bluejay video is _not_ yet over...

  • @Nerathul1
    @Nerathul1 Місяць тому +4588

    To be fair to Sun Tzu, he was writing for ancient nepo babies in charge of armies

    • @AnarchistGrandpa
      @AnarchistGrandpa Місяць тому +561

      Thats alot to take in, bro. I'm just imagining an untalented, unremarkable 23rd son of an emperor just reading The Art of War and forcing his servants to do push ups.

    • @AnarchistGrandpa
      @AnarchistGrandpa Місяць тому +213

      Was Sun Tzu the original sigma grindset grifter?

    • @emilygordbort7300
      @emilygordbort7300 Місяць тому

      Sun Tzu was basically describing the bare basics to dumb rich kids who didn't yet have a convenient book explaining the bare basics to them

    • @tyrongkojy
      @tyrongkojy Місяць тому +263

      Exactly. You would be amazed at the stupidity of the nobility sometimes.

    • @SniperwolfHD
      @SniperwolfHD Місяць тому +352

      To be even more fair to Sun Tzu. Sometimes, you need to state to obvious. Like how someone had to say in 1914 that marching in line formation towards machinegun nests is a bad idea.

  • @analysissel
    @analysissel Місяць тому +1694

    A piece of comedy I think is often overlooked with Bluejay's videos is that, normally his Bluejay avatar is easy enough to play on your peripheral vision since there's so much animation to be focusing on, but when there's a moment of silence and nothing is happening on screen, and you just have the avatar to look at...
    your eyes slowly travel across the screen to where the bird is patiently sitting. Waiting. On your reaction.
    Your eyes meet its eyes.
    Its eyes meet yours.
    It stares. Dead. Black. Nothing. Silent.
    ...And moments later we're back to the action!

    • @foxyy2048
      @foxyy2048 Місяць тому +45

      So romantic

    • @THE-X-Force
      @THE-X-Force Місяць тому +26

      Like a doll's eyes ...

    • @linusgoblin
      @linusgoblin Місяць тому

      I̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶D̶e̶a̶d̶.̶ ̶B̶l̶a̶c̶k̶.̶ ̶N̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶S̶i̶l̶e̶n̶t̶.̶ ❌
      you slowly caress his soft feathers, bluejay is visibly embarrassed and blush.
      sloppy french kiss.
      ...And we're back to action! ✅

    • @askprensim
      @askprensim Місяць тому +7

      bro is modern Shakespeare

    • @arnold8746
      @arnold8746 Місяць тому +6

      I bet that bird fks like a minx

  • @ivanbluecool
    @ivanbluecool Місяць тому +3701

    If you fail it's wacky. If you succeed it's legendary

    • @deadsamurai001
      @deadsamurai001 Місяць тому +90

      Not true, Alexander the Great did succeed but still ended up in this video.

    • @empereurnico6048
      @empereurnico6048 Місяць тому +34

      I find you commenting on 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑦 miilky's channel and now here, we share the same interests, stranger

    • @Waitermelonyoutube
      @Waitermelonyoutube Місяць тому

      If you die you die

    • @LG_Official.
      @LG_Official. Місяць тому +16

      I see you in literally ever VTuber comment section, and now here. How based can one be?

    • @wiaf8937
      @wiaf8937 Місяць тому +6

      if it works, it aint stupid.

  • @lordhuntington5704
    @lordhuntington5704 Місяць тому +1027

    Ngl, the art of war is even more genius than people give it credit for. Sun Tzu managed to write an extensive guide on for the time fairly advanced war tactics in a way that snobby kings and emperors would understand. Sure, we know we need to bring food when going into battle but someone who had private chefs all their life can easily forget about this stuff. Truly genius.

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +169

      When talking about war, most enthusiasts think about where to place their troops, overrunning their enemies with their own elite forces and how cool its gonna look when the archers rain arrows on them. But hardly anyone thinks about "Hey, how do you get 1000 men through this difficult terrain, make sure that they always have enough to eat, find sources of fresh water and organize perimeter patrols and scouts so you don't stumble into the enemy."

    • @JonMartinYXD
      @JonMartinYXD Місяць тому +68

      @@wjzav1971 Logistics wins wars.

    • @dantereinhardt6911
      @dantereinhardt6911 Місяць тому +31

      Sun Tzu was probably not a person, instead it was a group of scholars that wrote The Art of War collaboratively, and signed it as Sun Tzu, which was a common practice for collaborative works in ancient China.

    • @TheGreatCd
      @TheGreatCd Місяць тому +1

      Yup

    • @Chrinik
      @Chrinik Місяць тому +13

      @@wjzav1971 Commanders studiy tactics. Generals study strategies. Winners study logistics.

  • @t.g.4468
    @t.g.4468 Місяць тому +1012

    “Triremes can’t melt wooden beams after all” I never thought I’d see a 9/11 reference go hand in hand with the siege of Tyre

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +24

      It took me a while to understand the "Bush wanted to destroy the Two Towers" joke

    • @CREEPAS5
      @CREEPAS5 Місяць тому +16

      There were a lot of great rhymes and puns in this video but that line made me choke on my water from laughter. That was inspired writing.

    • @mxecho
      @mxecho Місяць тому +5

      that was an excellent kek

    • @OtakuUnitedStudio
      @OtakuUnitedStudio Місяць тому +3

      It's technically true

    • @J2982able
      @J2982able Місяць тому +2

      @@OtakuUnitedStudio 'The best kind of correct." (Yes, I know you said true but the joke doesn't land otherwise.)

  • @DJPeachCobbler
    @DJPeachCobbler Місяць тому +1292

    Love your videos so much, an island of humor and history in a sea of copy-and-paste Wikipedia hacks. Particularly liked the one recently where the confused time traveler was slowly murdered by Victorian England.
    On a personal note I think just having one source is fine if you’re working with something super niche. It depends, I think. If they’re an eye witness, for example, then that’s definitely worth something. I don’t know, there is no “burden of proof” for history. I’ve tried to find one.
    Part of the reason I moved onto the Modern Era from Rome was because ancient sources are so scant it means you really have to just say, “Plutarch said this, so whatever.”
    I was also very pleased to see you refrained from using slurs this time (I’m sorry I can’t help myself).

    • @BlueJayYT
      @BlueJayYT  Місяць тому +582

      Thank you señor Cobbler, your videos are a treat and tickle my brain as well, keep up the unhinged antics, king

    • @NaiX-me6ov
      @NaiX-me6ov Місяць тому +120

      Maybe you should make a collaboratory video discussing your "healthy" obsessions with different eras of history

    • @bjt8691
      @bjt8691 Місяць тому +36

      Slurs? lmao

    • @theblueidiot5536
      @theblueidiot5536 Місяць тому +117

      Maybe you two should get a room.(For studying history together of course)

    • @Artyomi
      @Artyomi Місяць тому +75

      @@BlueJayYTThis is such a wholesome friendship, I love it. You guys should make out

  • @MicrowaveOvenVideo
    @MicrowaveOvenVideo Місяць тому +566

    8:18 just got rickrolled by a freaking bird

    • @BigFootGoofN
      @BigFootGoofN Місяць тому +8

      Yue rolled

    • @Youravaragejoe_Englisch
      @Youravaragejoe_Englisch Місяць тому +4

      Thank you for telling in advance

    • @MX_996
      @MX_996 Місяць тому +4

      That’s twice now I’ve got Rickrolled by one Edit: the first time was oversimplified

    • @shinigami1357
      @shinigami1357 Місяць тому +1

      You spoiled it for me

    • @MicrowaveOvenVideo
      @MicrowaveOvenVideo 29 днів тому +1

      @@shinigami1357 saved you*
      my bad my man

  • @danielb270
    @danielb270 Місяць тому +122

    HOID!!! (5:45)
    Strength before weakness, you blue chicken!

  • @ethansphotoshop2773
    @ethansphotoshop2773 Місяць тому +377

    1:00 as an Aussie, that's pretty accurate. We must pray to the vegemite and worships its yeast

    • @tazgecko
      @tazgecko Місяць тому +8

      Nice to see our heroes "taking the piss" to a new level.

    • @madkoala2130
      @madkoala2130 Місяць тому +9

      *Meet the sniper intensifies

    • @qhu3878
      @qhu3878 Місяць тому

      ​@@madkoala2130 I mean being sniped by piss definitely fits with him

    • @NicoBabyman1
      @NicoBabyman1 Місяць тому +4

      @@madkoala2130 Jarate!

    • @OutbackCatgirl
      @OutbackCatgirl Місяць тому +2

      a friend of mine is a volunteer fire-fighter and he has his toast with frankly daft quantities of vegemite
      like the kind of thickness normally associated with layer cake icing

  • @nastiestNate
    @nastiestNate Місяць тому +129

    I was wondering when you were going to respond the DJ Peach Cobbler there… just glad you did so in such a subtle and non-snarky manner 😂

  • @taskfroce80th95
    @taskfroce80th95 Місяць тому +413

    "Only the dead has seen the end of war, and the end to this series"
    -Plato, probably

  • @Jimizacx
    @Jimizacx Місяць тому +119

    Another thing they did at Gallipoli is in the lead up to the evacuations they would order *absolute silence* in different parts of the line. When the ottomans would send out scouting raids they would be met with a hail of gunfire. This taught the ottomans that silence was a trap, meaning that when trenches began to fall silent because they were empty the ottomans were slow to realize what was going on.

    • @lukaradisavljevic5791
      @lukaradisavljevic5791 28 днів тому +3

      someone watched lindybeige
      bluejay just shamelessly copied lindys years oold vid lol

  • @treyaldridge1757
    @treyaldridge1757 Місяць тому +418

    4:32 China literally wrote the book on feeding your troops only to go up against one of the largest and most powerful military coalitions on Earth, in the winter, without feeding its troops.

    • @zack-lk8if
      @zack-lk8if Місяць тому +38

      "china" didn't literally write a book on feeding your troops. a Chinese general wrote a book about war tactics that happened to mention feeding your army

    • @treyaldridge1757
      @treyaldridge1757 Місяць тому +101

      ​​@@zack-lk8if saying that a man from China literally wrote a book which outlined the importance of food as a logistical need in warfare was a much clunkier set up for my joke though.

    • @danielwoods3896
      @danielwoods3896 Місяць тому +7

      Which war are you talking about? Korea?

    • @treyaldridge1757
      @treyaldridge1757 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@danielwoods3896 Yep, the Battle of Chosin. China got out-logisticsed so hard by NATO, they're still making propaganda films to cope about it to this day.

    • @lanceclement4087
      @lanceclement4087 Місяць тому +14

      @@danielwoods3896I think so, but honestly it doesn’t hit that well because China managed to push us roughly back to the 38th parallel

  • @Zephyra318
    @Zephyra318 Місяць тому +243

    "It looks like an island sir."
    "But what if it wasn't?"
    I straight up immediately asked 'what' at the same time the soldier did lmao. I was so shook by that statement.

    • @aaronbasham6554
      @aaronbasham6554 Місяць тому +5

      It's why the siege of tyre is so memorable

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому

      "Suppose we were islanders"

    • @Lone_Rocket
      @Lone_Rocket Місяць тому

      Lol, same.

    • @KlaxontheImpailr
      @KlaxontheImpailr 27 днів тому

      I did the same but for the "can o' piss" line.😂🎉

  • @bjincy
    @bjincy Місяць тому +697

    I love the fake beef between you and DJ peach cobbler😂

    • @joiford251
      @joiford251 Місяць тому +135

      Nah, its real beef. Their gonna fight to the death at some point

    • @highangles7210
      @highangles7210 Місяць тому +25

      I’m here for it

    • @swedishfish2357
      @swedishfish2357 Місяць тому +29

      DJ Peach Cobbler is peak UA-cam. LAUGH. WOMAN ANGRY. LAUGH.

    • @WatcherontheWeb
      @WatcherontheWeb Місяць тому +11

      Doesn't seem very fake to me

    • @DB-ku7vu
      @DB-ku7vu Місяць тому +15

      @@WatcherontheWeb Did you watch the videos? There is no beef, it was constructive criticism.

  • @Hi-xh8kr
    @Hi-xh8kr Місяць тому +84

    “Until Isaac Newton took the wheel and pulled the trigger with the nerd magic of gravity” 1:27 🤣🤣🤣

  • @mikerman1220
    @mikerman1220 Місяць тому +264

    War is hell… and also just kinda hilarious sometimes

  • @maxstirland2291
    @maxstirland2291 Місяць тому +55

    Honestly an elegant way to address being wrong about something in a previous video, I've seen way too many people just dig a bigger hole for themselves.
    Great job on the video!!!

  • @mateoewig4086
    @mateoewig4086 Місяць тому +80

    5:40 I just want to point out that BlueJay is a Stormlight Archive fan which makes me incredibly happy

    • @vishwathramachandran
      @vishwathramachandran Місяць тому +8

      Stormlight reference! LETS GOOO.

    • @pineberry212
      @pineberry212 Місяць тому +1

      Don't know how I missed that, I must've been looking away when that popped up

  • @dashiellgillingham4579
    @dashiellgillingham4579 Місяць тому +204

    The Gallipoli retreat wasn’t unnoticed, the Ottoman forces figured it out much faster than anticipated. Commanders in the field were overly cautious probing the line, and then overall command was overly cautious about ordering the all-out assault. Orders travelled slowly back then, and the Ottomans forces only managed to engage a small number of rearguard while most of the British forces withdrew.

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +24

      But given that the Ottoman command was so hesitant, meaning there was still doubt in their mind about the retreat, could it not be said that it was unnoticed?

    • @dashiellgillingham4579
      @dashiellgillingham4579 Місяць тому +17

      @@wjzav1971 It was a successful deception, but it is not true that the Ottomans did not notice.

    • @lachlanlandreth9069
      @lachlanlandreth9069 Місяць тому +12

      ​@@dashiellgillingham4579 I have read that the Ottomans feared it to be a trap. As it was a tactic being used elsewhere at the time.

    • @OutbackCatgirl
      @OutbackCatgirl Місяць тому +1

      british forces, you say? was it british or anzac, or a mix of both?

    • @jgw9990
      @jgw9990 Місяць тому +9

      ​@OutbackCatgirl Anzac were still part of the British empire in WW1. They had home rule but in foreign policy took orders from Britain. So they were British force, they were also evacuated by the British navy.

  • @Skeletonrider04
    @Skeletonrider04 Місяць тому +197

    5:43 Holy shit a Stormlight reference in the wild

    • @roanneduarte8166
      @roanneduarte8166 Місяць тому +14

      Glad to know I'm not the only one who caught that.

    • @StitchTheFox
      @StitchTheFox Місяць тому +11

      I was like, Wit?!

    • @phayfox6130
      @phayfox6130 Місяць тому +5

      Bro and a week after stormligh 5 knew that I was only probably not going insane

    • @hrishikeshmandaliya
      @hrishikeshmandaliya Місяць тому +2

      Me taking a break from wind and truth on yt and wit comes to deliver his burns here as well 😭😭

    • @iloshwdgac9213
      @iloshwdgac9213 Місяць тому

      ​@hrishikeshmandaliya I need to wait for my wife to finish reading it before I can. It is Thick.

  • @orcaofmordor
    @orcaofmordor Місяць тому +48

    "No animals were harmed in the making of this video, unless you count 49ers fans."
    Joke's on you, nothing can hurt us more than watching the team injure itself to pieces and exist in a purgatory of excessive mediocrity.

    • @homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971
      @homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971 Місяць тому +1

      As a Saints fan all I can say is: Welcome to my world.

    • @effusivefugitive
      @effusivefugitive 24 дні тому

      "A purgatory of excessive mediocrity?" Oh, come on. They've been to the Super Bowl three times in thirteen seasons. Most of the league would be thrilled with that level of success.

    • @charan.n15
      @charan.n15 22 дні тому

      ​@@effusivefugitive and what happened in those superbowls? getting to a superbowl doesnt mean anything if this team keeps being the losing team

  • @danielhale1
    @danielhale1 Місяць тому +138

    Sun Tsu's advice was revolutionary for its time. Anyone who wants to know the state of battle tactics and strategy at that time should just read the advice given in The Art Of War, and think about why that direct instruction was necessary. These generals had to be explicitly told DO NOT got to war unless it's actually necessary. You need to survey the land and use terrain to your advantage. You need to think objectively and control your emotions. You need to plan ahead for how to feed your soldiers. You need to have a clear goal in mind for war. The mindset of many warriors and princes at the time was "They insult our honor by existing! The gods are with us we cannot lose! GO GET EM". A ruinous war for honor is still ruinous.

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +28

      Sun Tsu is pretty hilarious since his work implies that all the commanders at the time where stupid noblemen who knew fuck all about leading armies on campaign or tactics and he basically had to teach them "No, you can't just send your 1000 men over there and have them whack the enemy with a sword, they NEED TO FUCKING EAT AND DRINK. No, you can't just have them all take lunch boxes, it falls on YOU to provide them with food. Oh, and for the love of god, make a fucking battle plan before you start battle, will ya? Mindlessly charging into the enemy and just winging it from there rarely works."

    • @RoeRogers
      @RoeRogers 28 днів тому +12

      Sun Tzu: have a clear goal and don't get into a ruinous war for honor.
      US President George Bush: hold my beer...

    • @mnxs
      @mnxs 23 дні тому

      ​@@RoeRogerslol yeah. and the fucker didn't just do it once, but twice.

    • @richardarriaga6271
      @richardarriaga6271 3 дні тому

      ​@@RoeRogersPutin: Hold my vodka still

  • @lahxialo9894
    @lahxialo9894 Місяць тому +60

    0:18 Sniping is a good job mate. It's challenging work, outdoors. Guarantee you'll not go hungry.

    • @homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971
      @homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971 Місяць тому +7

      Cause at the end of the day, long as there’s two people left on the planet: Someone is gonna want someone dead.

    • @someone_else2876
      @someone_else2876 Місяць тому +2

      ... Boom...

    • @warhistory1895
      @warhistory1895 Місяць тому

      ​@@homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971I think his mate saw me... YES, YES HE DID

    • @Wub-rv9xx
      @Wub-rv9xx Місяць тому +2

      Jarate!

    • @lisaanimi
      @lisaanimi 29 днів тому +1

      Dad...da... No I'm not a crazed gunman, I'm an assassin.

  • @JimXOfficialChannel
    @JimXOfficialChannel Місяць тому +152

    1:41 BLUE JAY FACE REVEAL!!

    • @TheTF2Pianist
      @TheTF2Pianist Місяць тому +27

      Lol, honestly jealous. Irwin seems like such a genuine and down to earth guy.🫡

    • @tenebrousoul9368
      @tenebrousoul9368 Місяць тому +34

      He's not a sentient blue bird?!

    • @suspence5832
      @suspence5832 Місяць тому +11

      Steve Ervin's Son? 🤯

    • @jo2832
      @jo2832 Місяць тому +11

      Yea we know. I thought we all already knew he was a stuffed toy blue Jay.

    • @swedishfish2357
      @swedishfish2357 Місяць тому +6

      ​@@suspence5832 Nah, he's related to Erwin Smith of Attack on Titan fame

  • @Zyzyx442
    @Zyzyx442 Місяць тому +21

    Omg I can totally see Alexander bragging about Aristotle being his teacher after hacking the knot.

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +5

      There is an old joke among classic historians where the professor said to his student "Work a bit harder and accomplish something! You are already twenty. At the age of twenty, Alexander had conquered half the known world." To which the student replies "Alexander had Aritotle as teacher, though."

  • @goblinkoma
    @goblinkoma Місяць тому +26

    Didn't expect to get Rick Rolled by ancient Chinese history today but here we are I guess

  • @ehur-s8u
    @ehur-s8u Місяць тому +13

    10:10 After saying "what" in the exact same tone several times watching this video before getting to this part, I am firmly convinced BlueJay just MIGHT have a few microphones in my house. again.

  • @nunchuckcanuck2827
    @nunchuckcanuck2827 Місяць тому +158

    Dj peach cobbler is my favorite skitzo historian

    • @Macarony_753
      @Macarony_753 Місяць тому +15

      The best kind of historian

    • @Ikirus
      @Ikirus Місяць тому +12

      the only kind of historian I listen to

    • @FFNOJG
      @FFNOJG Місяць тому +2

      Agreed. Bring on the schizo musical dessert man

    • @picklerick.n.666
      @picklerick.n.666 Місяць тому +2

      Mine too although I'm about to get baptized as a Chatolic soon... And he is constantly against Christianity...

    • @Jartran72
      @Jartran72 Місяць тому

      @picklerick.n.666 As is any sane man. Christianity sucks.
      Regards, a christian.

  • @Lenin941FN
    @Lenin941FN Місяць тому +59

    4:30 to be completely fair, this was written during a time when generals and other high ranking military guys were just nobles with little to no actual battle experience, so this book is basically just war 101 for nobles and scholars so they can be somewhat competent when war breaks out

    • @curious_one1156
      @curious_one1156 Місяць тому +1

      "Give your men food" was not obeyed by ...... Ghenghis Khan. His men were mobile bacuse they did not have to carry food wagons.
      They simply carried dried meat on person, and hunted game for food (possible, since when on the move, a group of 10 could be upto 1 km away from the other).

    • @Lickicker
      @Lickicker Місяць тому +1

      Thats exactly the case. Its stuff like "a horse can only carry food so far before it cant carry enough food" and ya know make sure you pay the guys

    • @Lenin941FN
      @Lenin941FN Місяць тому

      @ I'm convinced that If I was sent to the past, I could easily become a legendary conqueror just by knowing basic shit like this lmao

  • @Osmond_Wrought
    @Osmond_Wrought Місяць тому +18

    With these callbacks, we need a sequel to the Lobster War with the Cod Wars. That's right, WARS plural!!!!

  • @tylerray1368
    @tylerray1368 Місяць тому +15

    Ah yes, my favorite pokemon: Baergu. I just love that its cry is "please God end the suffering". So unique!

  • @xxchaosxx3076
    @xxchaosxx3076 Місяць тому +37

    5:43 seeing fucking Wit in a BlueJay video was the last thing I expected but I guess showing up where he isn't expected is very in character.

  • @mattBLACKpunk
    @mattBLACKpunk Місяць тому +26

    3:27 Dj pee gobbler mentioned!

  • @Rioting-parrot
    @Rioting-parrot Місяць тому +40

    11:02 nah, not getting a red lobster ad here 💀

    • @marblemunkey
      @marblemunkey Місяць тому

      I got served Hims. 😂

    • @babyramses5066
      @babyramses5066 26 днів тому

      Alexander deflate is still getting trolled in the afterlife- i can't

    • @lunettasuziejewel2080
      @lunettasuziejewel2080 18 днів тому

      We are a loyal Long John Silver's family!

  • @artiscommunication.2271
    @artiscommunication.2271 24 дні тому +2

    Thanks!

  • @yugoslavball1945
    @yugoslavball1945 Місяць тому +18

    “I watch you while you sleep” that explains the night terrors and schizophrenic episodes

  • @Jame5man
    @Jame5man Місяць тому +19

    15:10 thank god you converted that into gumballs. I was lost for a minute

  • @theBATgoesUPoh
    @theBATgoesUPoh Місяць тому +30

    8:10 that's rough buddy

  • @ellugerdelacruz2555
    @ellugerdelacruz2555 Місяць тому +19

    13:51
    To quote the Major for Hellsing Abridged,
    "Blue balled for 40 years..."

  • @fedoramaster6035
    @fedoramaster6035 28 днів тому +5

    4:40 fun fact: the art of war has so much obvious advice because it’s intended for nobles who had literally never even seen a poor person before.
    That’s also why it’s so helpful for business majors 😂

  • @strikeforce1500
    @strikeforce1500 Місяць тому +9

    "The ANZAC isn't feeling the Great part of the War" bruh,that's an excellent resume of the whole war

    • @smalltime0
      @smalltime0 8 днів тому

      Don't worry, the 1st Division got redeployed to the Somme. They lost 23,000 men in just a little more than the first week in one battle (Pozières), compared to "only" 8,700 for the year at Gallipoli.

  • @someone_else2876
    @someone_else2876 Місяць тому +22

    3:18 ayo DJ Peach Cobbler reference!!! Huge!

    • @DesJH
      @DesJH Місяць тому +1

      Hello fellow Cobbler enthusiast

    • @potatochipclips
      @potatochipclips Місяць тому +3

      I can't belive he showed the thumbnail but i am glad he can take a joke.

    • @stendall
      @stendall Місяць тому

      He stopped eating chalk goddammit!

  • @GamesWorkshopsFlyingCircus
    @GamesWorkshopsFlyingCircus Місяць тому +8

    "Piss." The Sniper, TF2

  • @MRDLT00
    @MRDLT00 Місяць тому +24

    11:45 Best Joke of the fucking year! XD

  • @DynamicHistoryTV
    @DynamicHistoryTV 29 днів тому +4

    I didn’t expect war to be portrayed in such a humorous way. The creator of this video really has a great sense of humor.

    • @hailarwotanaz5848
      @hailarwotanaz5848 16 днів тому

      He’s great, check the dumbest naval voyage ever. It’s hilarious

  • @ShinyShuckle-j1r
    @ShinyShuckle-j1r Місяць тому +140

    HONEY HONEY, GET THE KIDS!! A NEW BLUEJAY VIDEO IS OUT!!

    • @darkmacaw5769
      @darkmacaw5769 Місяць тому +1

      Is he going to hunt you down orrrrr are you excited

    • @chuck9693
      @chuck9693 Місяць тому

      Bab wake up blue Jay uploaded

    • @jesenjin8467
      @jesenjin8467 Місяць тому

      Are you telling wife to get kids to you watch alone...
      Or are you telling her to bring kids to watch bluejay with you?

    • @resto4life
      @resto4life Місяць тому

      I BROUGHT THEM BABY

    • @aaronfarner1029
      @aaronfarner1029 Місяць тому +1

      Something tells me you don’t have a family…

  • @sdgsuperstar
    @sdgsuperstar Місяць тому +4

    It’s fun to imagine Sun Tzu writing with that in mind-strategies for the ruling class, not necessarily for the soldiers on the ground!

  • @Pneumonia-Nakey
    @Pneumonia-Nakey Місяць тому +78

    8:54 Fun fact: Alexander the Great was openly bisexual. So one point to you!

    • @blackgem12
      @blackgem12 Місяць тому +18

      Scince he is Greek. Yeah I believe it.

    • @Nefferious
      @Nefferious Місяць тому

      Yes, so openly in fact that we have virtually no historical evidence to support anything of the sort.😂 His supposed fling with Hephaestion is practically all guesswork by later historians. It's not certain in the slightest that's what their relationship was like.
      There is a very good probability that he was sexualy involved with a eunuch but it's unclear if eunuchs were seen as male in Macedonian society, since there wasn't a practice of castrating children there.
      Terms like "openly bisexual" are modern concepts and do not accurately apply to ancient people.

    • @Germanempireball1871
      @Germanempireball1871 Місяць тому +7

      Alexander the gay

    • @PrinceArthur636
      @PrinceArthur636 29 днів тому +3

      ​​@@blackgem12not that the behavior was cultivated more from outside, but that their society was slightly rare among the greats for not punishing as much what many men tend to do. Example: republican politician gatherings often coincide with high Grindr activity

    • @fairoboilawrence5287
      @fairoboilawrence5287 29 днів тому +2

      ​@@blackgem12Racist and incorrect

  • @chrisbeer5685
    @chrisbeer5685 Місяць тому +153

    Actually the drip rifles were far less effective than commonly assumed. In some cases they failed to fire at all, or were discovered to be fake after a few minutes.
    The success of the retreat was actually more due to it being done at night, happening very quickly and honestly the Ottomans just being happy to see their enemy retreating and not actually being that eager to pursue them.
    But it makes for a good story.

    • @smalltime0
      @smalltime0 Місяць тому +28

      In the days leading up to the evacuation the Anzacs kept feigning a withdrawal, just to slaughter the Ottoman scouts that were sent to check what was happening. Which is probably what lead them not to be that eager to see why there was only sporadic fire coming from the trenches.
      When the British later evacuated their positions, the Ottomans were in a better position to judge what was happening and did attack. But the Royal Navy blasted the chokepoints to cover the withdrawal there.
      The Ottomans were well aware that the allied forces were going to leave, there was a small armada of transports for it, they just didn't know when that was going to happen.

    • @Dan_Ben_Michael
      @Dan_Ben_Michael Місяць тому +12

      I can’t seem to find any sources for your claim. I’m genuinely curious as my great grandfather was a Gallipoli veteran with the 3rd Light Horse Regiment. The Australian War Memorial claims it was effective, as well as countless other sources I’ve come across, but as I say I can’t find one source that says they were far less effective.
      I fail to see how they would’ve been discovered after a few minutes. Did the Turks cross no man’s land and subsequently discover empty trenches whilst the evacuation was in full swing? How else would they have known they were fake? Are you suggesting the Turks were fully aware of the evacuation and watched it all unfold and did nothing, despite the fact they were still at war and the Cannakale peninsula was not the only active theatre?
      Btw, The drip mechanism wasn’t the only method used. They also used a candle and string.

    • @BlueJayYT
      @BlueJayYT  Місяць тому +20

      In my research I heard this claim, but was never able to find any actual sources supporting it. In my best analysis, it seemed this idea of the drip rifles not being effective sorta came down to vibes from people on the internet going, “nah, no way bro.”
      However, there also isn’t any strong evidence that they WERE effective, because how could there be? The idea was they would run away while the drip rifles were firing, so it’s not like they could stay and report their effectiveness. Nevertheless, ANZACS report them as having helped, so that’s the story I went with.

    • @smalltime0
      @smalltime0 Місяць тому +1

      @@BlueJayYT You are going against the ANZAC myth there.
      Unfortunately it ignores the actual stuff the ANZACs did in the Somme.

  • @David-sf2po
    @David-sf2po Місяць тому +14

    What a glorious day when bluejay post

  • @lukearts2954
    @lukearts2954 Місяць тому +4

    @BlueJayYT
    @BlueJayYT you honestly are the only guy on UA-cam that can get me in tears laughing... And you consistently repeat that feat.

  • @karstenbuijs
    @karstenbuijs Місяць тому +11

    Bleujay, i still need my how to become a dictator video, lets just say i have big plans.

  • @dallinhansen2321
    @dallinhansen2321 Місяць тому +12

    5:46 Cosmere reference right after Wind and Truth releases? Hats off mate!

  • @theroguenetwork1083
    @theroguenetwork1083 Місяць тому +14

    Babe wake up, BlueJay just kidnapped another innocent bystander for his whacky antics again

    • @nola281
      @nola281 Місяць тому +1

      Yeah he does that but we love him for it.

  • @Isometrix116
    @Isometrix116 Місяць тому +6

    I loved the video critiquing you. It was straight up: "Hey, this is a super honest mistake, and its only because I have a hyperfixation that I even noticed or cared... so lets explore that hyperfixation" but with all of the "OMG HE WRONG" bait.
    10/10 would see you criticized wholesomely again

    • @BlueJayYT
      @BlueJayYT  Місяць тому +2

      It was a great video haha

  • @thomaswalsh4552
    @thomaswalsh4552 29 днів тому +3

    10:33 golden opportunity missed: “Impregnable wasn’t a word Alexander *knew… because he only spoke Greek”

  • @Jpthecool1800
    @Jpthecool1800 Місяць тому +3

    Fun fact: Alexander The Great’s nickname before being called “the great” was “Alexander the pretty good.” It is rumored that he led his massive conquest just to stop being called that by everyone because he hated the name.

  • @hafplace1346
    @hafplace1346 Місяць тому +7

    building a peninsula is such a badass move

  • @Devil-Made
    @Devil-Made 29 днів тому +2

    Feel honored. Yours is one of the ONLY channels during which I actively watch sponsorship spots. Granted, this one was sponsoring yourself, but still. Every moment of your videos is gold. I love it.

  • @MicrowaveOvenVideo
    @MicrowaveOvenVideo Місяць тому +9

    Robert being a BlueJay viewer has made my day!

  • @scrollcaps
    @scrollcaps Місяць тому +6

    You want a Birdzilla? Putting chickens in a nuclear tube is how you get Birdzilla.

    • @vadim6385
      @vadim6385 Місяць тому

      Not, it will get you chickens dying from radiation sickness

  • @MicrowaveOvenVideo
    @MicrowaveOvenVideo Місяць тому +10

    It took me 33 seconds to click in hopes I could be traumatized by a blue, feathery, piss-drinking demon after my last final. You didn't disappoint.
    edit: I see no evidence to suggest he isn't drinking the piss

  • @vtwinwild1
    @vtwinwild1 25 днів тому +2

    US Army combat vet here. Tactics is a continuing study. I was easily a subject matter expert of Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) a mere decade ago. Today, the game has changed. My knowledge could be useful on a general level, but potentially useless at the tactical level.

  • @purplehaze2358
    @purplehaze2358 Місяць тому +2

    Imagine being the guy who found out in the afterlife that the "person" that killed him during a war was a can of piss.

  • @PhilippBrandAkatosh
    @PhilippBrandAkatosh Місяць тому +22

    did you know that ? : Thrilled to meet the famous thinker, Alexander asked if there was any favor he might do for him. To that, Diogenes replied: “Move a little to the right; you are blocking my sun.”

    • @wjzav1971
      @wjzav1971 Місяць тому +5

      Story also goes that Diogenes renounced any and all possesions he did not deem absolutely necessary for survival. All he had was a bowl to drink water. When he went to the fountain one day to drink, he saw a child scooping water with the palm of its hands. Diogenes exclaimed "Yo, how embarassing, a fucking child outdid me in terms of simplicity" and threw away his bowl.

    • @WayanMajere
      @WayanMajere Місяць тому +3

      To this day there's a german proverb that literally translates to "get out of my sun" because of this incident. It means "don't annoy me".

  • @shinigami1357
    @shinigami1357 Місяць тому +2

    “THAT WAS A JOKE BY THE WAY” bro I CANT 😭

  • @hanselmiope
    @hanselmiope Місяць тому +10

    2:15 you scared the shit out of me

  • @alrun1836
    @alrun1836 Місяць тому +7

    10:37 I’m sure Alexander the Great loves MPreg.

  • @hoomanmohimani3221
    @hoomanmohimani3221 Місяць тому +4

    The bit at 6:11 deserves an award of some kind omfg

  • @owenslaughter9438
    @owenslaughter9438 22 дні тому +1

    I Love the fact you owned up to it realized the video was a joke and was just having a bit of fun with you. Because I watched it and thought it was really good. So good on you man for be cool and not a internet weirdo... Well I mean you are an internet weirdo like the rest of us, but you're not on of THOSE internet weirdos... You know what I am gonna stop talking now....

  • @GvF11
    @GvF11 Місяць тому +6

    When i heard about the mines my mind immediately went to Project Pidgeon ( a pigeon-controlled guided bomb). Seems like birds and explosives are a natural pairing.

    • @jg2323
      @jg2323 Місяць тому +1

      I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same guy suggesting it twice. "Damnit, the first project got scrapped, but it's just SUCH A GOOD IDEA. I'm going to find SOME WAY to get the government to recognize my genius damnit!

  • @matbatos._
    @matbatos._ 2 дні тому +1

    Please make a video about Greek gods, I love the way you talk in the video 😭

  • @tkdmike9345
    @tkdmike9345 Місяць тому +22

    The god bird has graced us again!!!!

  • @oohitsjinmo
    @oohitsjinmo 17 днів тому

    hey bluejay, i had commented on one of your reddit posts a few years ago when you were just starting out, its crazy to see how youve blown up since then. very well deserved, thank you for always creating great content :)

  • @MrMaselko
    @MrMaselko Місяць тому +4

    BlueJay, please don't suddenly disappear. Most of the "One god-tier edu-tainment video every few months" channels do and I can live with that, but not this one. If you ever do, please think of the fact that I will be immeasureably sad and my year or two will be ruined. You don't want to have that on your conscience, do you?

  • @mahnel
    @mahnel 24 дні тому +2

    15:45 this made me laugh way more than it should

  • @yanx1o
    @yanx1o Місяць тому +5

    the land down six feet under 💀😭

  • @cowgirlcat6927
    @cowgirlcat6927 28 днів тому

    There is nothing more terrifying than being half asleep, having slept a total of 3 hours, turn on a video onto your TV to play while you fall asleep, and here the phrase "I watch you while you sleep."

  • @lunerjuice1832
    @lunerjuice1832 Місяць тому +4

    4:50 a proper sacrifice to the UA-cam algorithm was given, now my ears are bleeding

  • @aste4949
    @aste4949 15 днів тому

    Your wordplay and puns are part of what makes what you cover a BlueJay video! Other youtubers cover a lot of the same things, sure, but not with the clever wordplay BlueJay does. Makes it fun and interesting to hear his angle on these!

  • @KonekodenStudios
    @KonekodenStudios Місяць тому +6

    9:01 as a gay, I approve of this joke

  • @rosef-ob5mc
    @rosef-ob5mc Місяць тому +2

    "i did it but for what cost" was crazy

  • @zacharydonofrio7285
    @zacharydonofrio7285 Місяць тому +3

    11:53 this actually made me laugh out loud on the bus

  • @waylanhemp2563
    @waylanhemp2563 26 днів тому +1

    Your finally back I thought you were gone forever

  • @namman1229
    @namman1229 Місяць тому +6

    10:55 BRO-

  • @a4san99
    @a4san99 Місяць тому +1

    I have no idea what changed in the script but this is by far one of the best comedic skits I've seen you do XD

  • @TheWisme
    @TheWisme Місяць тому +14

    I do not think I want to invite the effigy of a chaos god of education into my home.

  • @purplehaze2358
    @purplehaze2358 Місяць тому +2

    I feel irrationally angry knowing that BlueJay successfully rickrolled me.

  • @The_Robbing_Narrator
    @The_Robbing_Narrator Місяць тому +6

    2:20 why would I pay for something you already do for free?

  • @PoorMedievalCat
    @PoorMedievalCat Місяць тому +6

    "No animals were harmed making this video"
    I pretty sure humans are considered as animals

  • @TheDaniel366Cobra
    @TheDaniel366Cobra Місяць тому

    "Two superpowers edging each other to see who would splooge plutonium the first"
    I did not need that picture in my mind, I hate it, please never stop doing what you do.

  • @tomasmacak4603
    @tomasmacak4603 Місяць тому +3

    Bro got traumatised by a UA-cam thumbnail

  • @thothtahuti5509
    @thothtahuti5509 Місяць тому +2

    If I wasn't already subscribed, that skip would have convinced me 😂

  • @mikerouch416
    @mikerouch416 Місяць тому +4

    Need blue jay peach cobbler collaboration!!!!

  • @dripwastaken7884
    @dripwastaken7884 27 днів тому +1

    8:17 I HATE YOU! Rickrolling in 2024
    (It took a while to process)

  • @ribbke
    @ribbke Місяць тому +8

    1:15 how did they get the birds to fire the rifle? Did they tie them to it with the string?

  • @tvz_luigi3233
    @tvz_luigi3233 Місяць тому +1

    "I watch you while you sleep"
    Me watching this trying to go to bed

  • @malegria9641
    @malegria9641 Місяць тому +8

    5:19 you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals