The Worst Pirates You've Never Heard Of
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- Опубліковано 14 бер 2024
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Bird art by Cass: www.casswomack.com
Thank you Venus, TheStellarJay, and Leah for your advice!
The concept of the pirate life is one that has fascinated children and adults alike for generations. It's the idea of pure unadulterated freedom, living free from the shackles of responsibility, regulation, and reality. On a lone vessel dancing along the waves of a vast ocean, the world is truly your oyster, and the possibilities are endless! This swashbuckling fantasy has been fueled time and time again by classics like Pirates of the Caribbean in the early 2000s, Treasure Island in the late 1800s, and A General History of the Pyrates in the early 1700s. So considering how impactful the pirate genre has been on the greater populace, it might come as a shock to learn that our understanding of real pirate history is relatively meager. That last listed classic, A General History of the Pyrates by Captain Charles Johnson, remains one of our most primary sources for pirate history during the Golden Age, a novel which we know to have exaggerated and stretched the truth for sensational effect. While unfortunate, it does make sense that accurate recordings of the true history of piracy are scarce given the criminal and elusive nature of pirates themselves. One isn't really an efficient criminal by making their personal information as known as possible. Combine that with the fact that most pirates came from poverty and low social status, and the fact that many primary court documents have been lost to time, it makes sense that this history can be hard to accurately map and result in much speculation. In this video, much speculation must be made to connect the dots we have about Stede Bonnet's life for example. Naturally, this can lead to inaccurate assumptions, so with that in mind I tried my best to choose language carefully when telling this story. Take note of the numerous sentences initiated with, "It's believed" for some insight into when speculations are made.
The illusiveness of pirate history feeds into the fantasy. After all, these were criminals, and if we could go back in time and ask them, we'd find many of them wouldn't choose this way of life if given the choice. The story of piracy is the story of class struggle, with rare exceptions like Bonnet aside, the lowest rungs of society were the ones who populated the pirate ranks. Poor sailors who lost their livelihood, impressment victims seeking freedom, privateers losing their state-backed support, and those with nowhere to turn but the sea were the ones who became pirates. It's a position born out of struggle and poverty, the same struggle that can be seen with the Somali pirates in the modern day. In essence, they are no different than the glorified pirates of the Caribbean: disadvantaged victims of society merely doing what they can to survive.
Works Consulted / Read More:
(Will add later) - Комедії
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I wanna a Part 2
Can you make a video on some atheist hijinks?
Bravo
Yes i would love a part two
Awesome video! As usual. You should do a video on Thomas Cochrane! Lots of funny material in that story considering he beat up everyone with the smallest ships, was never payed what he was owed and he would just take what was owed, making enemies everywhere. He also liberated a bunch of South American countries. Annnd again took what was owed when they didnt pay up.
"You are by far the worst pirate I've ever heard of"
"But you have heard of me"
Aw, you beat me to it
Ayee
@@M.R.Assistbastard I wanted to do that
@@TheNecronCryptek I came here just to do that as well
"Hung around awkwardly like an engineer at... well, name pick any social setting."
I feel personally attacked.
Yet you didn't say he's wrong. 😯
Yes, but the beauty is with just the back of a napkin you can work out exactly HOW attacked you are.
The rest of us just have to guess at it.
Same but it's kinda true though...
..dang, same man, same
11:55
Fun fact: the somali pirates have a semi functional stock market, where you can sponsor crews or even individual missions, and get a share of the profit from it. There is a story circulating on an elderly woman become unreasonably rich after she sponsored a crew with enough funds to buy a single RPG which they've used to intimidate a large cargo ship into surrender.
Here, RPG = rocket-propelled grenade
Sorry nerds, you're not getting rich from roleplaying games.
@@paulabrahamse1135 now I'm imagining them threatening the cargo ship that they'll install Skyrim into their nav computer
@@paulabrahamse1135 Actually "RPG" is taken from РПГ (Ручной Противотанковый Гранатомёт, Ruchnoy Protivotankovy Granatomyot), meaning "handheld anti-tank grenade launcher."
Where do I sign up
@@Curt_Sampson Actually you're both right. As you say, the shortcut originates from the Russian weapons, but the modified English version of the shortcut is adopted as a weapon classification.
The way that parrot psychologically deconstructs and roasts Bonnet is hilarious. That and the wonderfully alliterative opening has prove what a master wordsmith Blue Jay is. Also, we really do need a part 2.
That scene was so good.
I love that part.
Thanks so much man :)
Far funnier in 30 seconds than that entire show about him.
Is this guy running multiple accounts and talking to himself?
Probably my personal favorite Somali pirate story is the time that Somali pirates boarded and captured a North Korean cargo ship, the Dai Hong Dan. While the crew was captured, they managed to get a distress signal out while biding their time. Their distress signal was picked up by a US Navy destroyer, the USS James E. Williams, which dispatched teams to secure the vessel. At the same time, the North Korean crew attacked their captors, seizing weapons and securing the ship with the assistance of the US Navy sailors, capturing or killing all of the pirates. The most ridiculous part is that afterwards North Korean state media released a statement of gratitude for the American assistance, emphasizing the successful cooperation between the two nations.
Thaaats kinda fucking sick!
For real???? I thought North Korea takes every opportunity to paint America as the literal devil?
@@wjzav1971 When it benefits them. I’m sure the spin was to show the might of the North Korean sailors, as in they match that of the Americans.
Most ridiculous indeed. Didn’t see that coming
that does sound like a good story
"worst pirates you've never heard of"
1st guy: Stede Bonnet
How can you not have heard of Stede Bonnet, the gentleman pirate, who was so influential that he's in an Assassin's Creed game.
Not even mentioning being the protagonist of an HBO show
Tbf you kinda forget him in AC Black Flag, but he was good.
Actually Ubisoft put in a lot of effort digging up more obscure pirates for their game! The idea is Stede Bonnet isn't a household name like Blackbeard or Jack Rackham, it wasn't until recently that he became less obscure with a tv show. But still not very well known, I wanted to use this title to make a play on the popular Pirates of the Caribbean quote, "You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of"
He was too good to be a pirate (In that game at least)
There's also a video from Internet Historian on him.
“i don’t want a pardon for the french ones” the quotes in this video are amazing.
"go down to the docks if you want to gargle the Spanish so much."
--Mrs. Bonnet
What a surprise to see you here lol
Hope you doing well
You really nailed a failed marriage in the first five minutes
Just a little longer than it took Stede Bonnet
I think he might have personal experience
The catapult was a great idea the dog truly had a dream
I think he took about 85% of the vibe, and at least one joke, from Archer lol
@@dzmcroyDEFINITELY
1700s: Oh look a Ship that's totally not a warship, let's board it
2000s: Oh look a Ship that's totally not a warship, let's board it
Somali Pirates need to study ancient pirate lore better... Or they bound to repeat the mistakes!
Humans never change ✨️
@@ScienceDiscoverer or modern war ships
@@kameronjones7139 Also probably should invest in the spyglass, like, ancient looking one.
That whole first dialogue between Jennet and his wife just sounds straight up out of Archer lmao. In a good way
It was
Who's Jennet?
@@CrisSelene It's short for Jtede Bonnet of course🙄
Pirates need a whole series. Their history is wild and wonderful.
have you watched our flag means death
“The splashing sea sent sparkling salty spray showering the sun soaked smiling sailor”- this man’s alliteration is truly unmatched. Who drops bars like that??
Words are my playground
Unnecessary bars, did not have to go that hard
@@BlueJayYTClimbing those -monkey- blue jay bars
@@BlueJayYTHow many takes? Be honest...
True!
Dont forget the pirates who captured ceasar and got mocked by him for setting his ransom too low
He came back and crucified them. For undervaluing him.
In their defense, his family had been spent into poverty by his grandfather, so it's unlikely they could have gotten much for him.
Let's not forget, the whole time he was captured, he told them he was going to kill them after, and they laughed at him. He also ordered them around, hushed them when he wanted to sleep, and recited poems and speeches he was writing.
You're a Chad or you're not. @@Durandal734
@@Durandal734and he kept his promise. I admire people who keep a promise
Blue Jay actually did a video on that.
"what, he can talk?"
parrot: "of course, don't all humans have that ability?"
Fun fact, Bonnet was the only pirate captain to not have his own flag, instead using the flag of England.
🤣🤣🤣🤣Arrgh! Gonna help ye out, Stede. 🏴☠ This guy is definitely in the running for Worst Pirate of All Time, though I have to say, he's got some serious competition from The Brethren of the (Somali) Coast.
Yes, part II please. Your delivery is highly entertaining and we need to know everything we can about the worst pirates, since there is waaaay to much information on those better ones who hog all the spotlight.
+1
Ngl, i was expecting a list of lesser-known pirates, not "the true story that inspired "Our Flag Means Death".
I didn't even realize that "Our Flag Means Death" was inspired by a true story
@@derekw4836it’s crazy how true to the known facts the show is considering how crazy the plot is
@@Pankkeli yeah, it basically just amped up the romance and made things a bit more overtly silly.
@@darklordofsword and delightfully gay
“I don’t want a pardon for the French one”
I love how your depiction of Stede looks just like Rhys Darby from Our Flag Means Death. I love that show.
18:56 good story for part 2 here! - The Danish warship you see there, Esben Snarre, was AGAIN attacked exactly 10 years later in 2021 on the other side of Africa. A band of Nigerian pirates attacked the warship in the Gulf of Guinea, unbeknown that the ship was filled with special forces soldiers at the time.
Every single one of the pirates were shot dead, except for a single one, whos (and I kid you not) literal name was Lucky..
He did manage to lose a leg, though. Very appropriate for a pirate, peg-leg and whatnot. Lol.
And then if that wasn't enough, when the news broke out in the media, it featured a danish "pirate expert" who (and again, I kid you not) wore an eye-patch during every single interview due to complications from a loser operation.
Laser* operation... My god I sound like a bully haha. He's a cool guy.
It's like those low level bandits in older games that would try to smack down lvl 65 godslayer protagonist with their rusty toothpicks. 😀
@@romeodahl1283 Honestly, I think I had a loser operation when I was young. The laser operation didn't happen until I was 32.
I heard of the repeated Pirate attacks on the French Navy's "Somme",
but at least that one at kind of looked like a cargo ship
(if you somehow didn't notice the grey paint-scheme, the four 50 cal. machineguns
and rather un-cargoship-like 40mm Bofors in front of the Bridge).
But this ... 🤣
Danes spotting modern day pirates:
"Hah look at those noobs."
Bluejay: The worst pirates you've never heard of...
Said Pirates: But you have heard of me...
Oh yeah? What about The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything? They've never even been to Boston in the fall!!
Goated refrence
Captain Johnny's journey from swagger to splatter is the reminder we all need: Not every pirate life is treasure-filled, but it sure makes a great tale! 🏴☠️💥
Part 2? Hell yes. This is as hilariously informative as ever.
Part 2 yea
19:47 Bluejay, I love you for animating the charging of the AK on the correct side
I second this.
19:15 "A 100mm ticket to the afterlife." LOL
A bluejay vid a day keeps the crippling amount of engineering work away!
"HOW DID YOU GET CONQUISTADOR" will be in my frequently referenced vocabulary from now on.
Davey Jones that's no merchant vessel, it's me a Spanish Man-of-war!
I mean Peter we all we've all dabbled in red light districts.
What? Not a man of Whøre, Man of War!
Uh listen, I'm not one the judge but if you're into being eaten just don't do it on company time.
No, not Man of Voar! Man of War!
Cortez himself he's here?
Wait how did you get conquistador?
BOOM!
You dont understand how much I NEED a part 2 of this
The parrot roasting the wannabe pirate was gold😂
7:54 burned a ship to the ground.... In the sea?? Now that's one heck of a pirate
"The worst Pirate you never heard of!"
"Bet it's Stede Bonnet"
Called it!
Yep! I love how Blackbeard kept messing with him.
"Wha - HOW DID YOU GET CONQUISTADOR?!" had me laughing in a way I didn't think possible
Davey Jones that's no merchant vessel, it's me a Spanish Man-of-war!
I mean Peter we all we've all dabbled in red light districts.
What? Not a man of Whøre, Man of War!
Uh listen, I'm not one the judge but if you're into being eaten just don't do it on company time.
No, not Man of Voar! Man of War!
Cortez himself he's here?
Wait how did you get conquistador?
BOOM!
Don't touch the USAs boats ask Japan
Bonnet's overtly specific rant on Madeira wine is surpising and funny lol, cheers from Portugal
its nice to know the complete lore to 'Our Flag Means Death'
00:23
Alliteration was peak
I noticed that as well!
Alliteration is for cringe lords who haven't touched a woman
How many s'es can I fit in one go? YESSS
Sibillance actually.....
Thanks for mentioning
19:52 absolutely killed me to the point my parents were wondering what was wrong! Also it would make a hell of a text tone for my phone!
I'd DEFINITELY like a part 2, this was interesting af.
The subtle
"Mr.Peppers died?" Is too spot on xD
Bro hits too close to home
And how both parents completely ignored that question
I like the "Our Flag Means Death" version where Stede and Blackbeard fall in and out of love and in again.
Im amazed he didn't reference it
Gaaaaa4yyyy
That show is exactly why I'm here. XD
@@smalltime0honestly same
Fall in love and then… yeah no I ain’t spoiling it
the humor in these skits are so archer coded i love it
I have a funky feeling that someone recently watched archer with this humour. Love it
It's a bird! It's a plane! its supe- no no wait.. it is a bird.
Tweet 🐦
It may just be a French fucking war ship aswell
@@derdude6214 Bonjour 🥖⚔️🚢
It's the Seljuk Turks
@@TsarFrancisDrake aah!
Absolutely love that Stede Bonnet is drawn like on Our Flag Means Death 💙
#SaveOurCrew
Please do a part 2! This video gets funnier each time you watch it 😂😂😂
“Go down to the harbor if you want to gargle the Spanish” is an underrated line
@4:13 This seems like a conversation between Archer and Lana
That literally was my inspiration for that skit that's amazing
You nailed it, bravo :) @@BlueJayYT
Congrats!! 👏🏼🥳😉👍🏼
Even got Woodhouse there at the end.
several of these jokes made me think he has been watching archer lately, glad others caught that
The irony of talking about Nintendo hating pirates, while using the music from Microsoft/Rare's Sea of Thieves
Sea of Thieves actually gave permission for their music to be used!
@@BlueJayYT That's kinda cool of them
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SEA OF THIEVES WHAT IS A WORKING HIT REG SYSTEM RAAAAAAAAAAAH@@BlueJayYT
@@BlueJayYThow tf you manage that??!!??!!!?
Unlike Nintendo Rare is actually a good company to its community
I was getting Archer vibes from the first guy and then you had to confirm that with the last line. I need a Krieger or Ray in a future video...wait, are you Krieger?
4:14 'Archer' vibes in this whole scene!! Absolute gold, man!
0:53 such a mind blowing experience worth it.
mind : blown 💀
In _Sid Meier's Pirates!_ Stede Bonnet is like the 5th most notorious pirate, with Jean Lafitte, Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, and Henry Morgan in front of him
That literally doesn't make sense. Nobody has ever said Kidd was notorious, idiotic and pitiful more like. I'd probably change that to Henry Every, La Buse, Richard Taylor, and keep Morgan and Roberts.
@@LadyTylerBioRodriguez This is why you aren't consulted about which pirates are most notorious. Henry Every, La Buse, and Richard Taylor are all extremely obscure to anyone who doesn't actually read about pirates. The average person hasn't heard of any of those people.
"Notorious" doesn't mean good. Note that I am not necissarily endorsing the Sid Meier's list either, but your list is noticably worse.
@@Tinil0 I'm going off infamous for the 1730s. Nowadays yes I'd argue my names are obscure since there isn't many appearances of them in popular culture (Everys biggest mention of late is Uncharted 4 and there's a cryptogram myth attached to La Buse). Who gets remembered well and who doesn't is somewhat arbitrary. I mean take John Rackam, two months of piracy and dead, he was the definition of a nobody in 1720, but in 2024 he's one of the best known pirates.
Henry Every pulled off a heist that causes an international incident between India and Britain, inspired pirates like Kidd and Charles Vane, and was the model for the legend of Libertalia. He was also never caught.
Taylor and La Buse did a similar heist concerning a Portuguese diamond ship, Taylor managed to successfully retire, La Buse did not. Indian Ocean piracy was among the most successful but unfortunately they aren't well known 3 centuries later.
I'm a pirate historian for the record.
“As we all know, blind people are easy to tackle” had me creasing 😂
I need more unhinged pirate puns and punchlines
Last time I was this early my wife divorced me
L wife.
She took the kids too 😔
Same
I miss her too...😔
try piracy
4:10
This is a brilliant Archer gag
"I don't know if they grade it, but....coarse."
Oh MAN I was hoping I wasn't the only person who got major archer vibes from the beginning of this video. Even that little giggle at 7:57 was a solid impression lmao
@@Lindsay6.1 YES! I was thinking of that same quote. God, I miss classic Archer.
At 14:38 as well, I noticed it a few times watching this video. BlueJay must be watching archer a lot lol
"Well that's obviously a pool noodle"💀
I've been playing Sid Meier's Pirates a lot lately (for about the 50th time), so this is very relevant to my interests. I never cared for pirate stuff, but I've loved the Sid Meier's Pirates games ever since playing it on Sega Genesis and DOS back in the 90s.
Dear BlueJay,
i would like to see a part 2.
Thank you very much
a 30ft. pool noodle supplyer
😂😂
Lol this the best
Bro’s going into making fully animated cartoons, this is cool.
I love them!!! 💙🪬🧿
the references to jokes Archer used to do, its welcomed.
*I do not want a pardon for the French ones*
yep pretty historically accurate
"This one died lol"
The type of joke that made me love this channel
14:32 "the value is from your imagination" then just makes a noose lmao
Davy Jones: Do you fear the darkness of the abyss?
Bonnet: Clearly you never saw my wife don't you? 😂
5:26 I love the Archer reference!
The literary skills of BlueJay in the Bonnet part are really superb
fun fact, a WW2 era battleship against a pirate ship would be interesting because WW2 battleship shells were designed to punch through, meaning it might go straight through the wooden ship for nerd reasons instead of going boom
I'm surprised BlueJay did not mention when Somali Pirates boarded a North Korean cargo ship, prompting the North Koreans to send out an SOS. A US Destroyer heard the SOS and responded by changing course and sending out a Blackhawk Helicopter full of Marines.
When the Marines landed on the deck of the cargo ship the North Korean crew, who had been taken captive, staged a prison break killing a few of the Somali Pirates suffering only one injured North Korean sailor. The US Marines then took the Somali Pirates prisoner, and brought the injured North Korean back to their ship for medical treatment.
Later after the North Korean was returned to his ship, the North Korean government released a statement THANKING THE US FOR HELPING THEIR SAILORS!
It's kind of incredible how the Somali Pirates got the US and North Korea, two countries STILL AT WAR, to be friends for a day. Although the one thing the US Navy hates for than Communists is Pirates. Seriously, the US Navy was founded to kill Pirates, it is in the US Navy Charter.
I haven't seen your videos for the past half a year and I must say I am great impressed in the quality you are able to put out. It was a pleasure to watch!
I absolutely need a part 2 of this.
The leap in animation quality from the first video to this one is insane! Like hot damn!
BlueJay was DEFINITELY watching (or at least channeling) Archer while writing this, I'm here for it.
“Honestly it just gets me out the house and away from her.” Stede Bonnet (according to Count Dankula)
"I dont't want a pardon for the french ones"
truer words were never spoken
I love your gleeful sarcasm, or sarcastic glee, or whatever it is you're delivering here. Please keep on with regular deliveries.
glistic sarcee.
Your comedic timing is like a prime Conor mcgregor you hold till the the very last moment then drop the punch line for maximum effect gets me every time 😂 especially with the gun firing
I was not ready for this gem of an opening 😂 0:00
The Protestant Caesar is a great name for a Spanish ship. Thanks for the video
Yes to part two!!!
I've played enough video games to understand the Somali pirates' ambition in taking on war vessels. You're always looking for the next big challenge! I figure their autosave feature just broke and they can't go back to an earlier save, and they didn't figure that out until after the arrest. That or they only have one save slot and "Bing!" the game autosaved when the fight started. We all know how that goes.
I wish it was like that. It would make them less likely to be smashed on the Internet for how stupid they are to keep making the same mistake over and over again. At least on video games, you can use autosave and hit a reset button to try and try again until you figure out how to success take the ship.
But sadly for these pirates they haven't even figured out there actually is a save system.
When I saw green, all I could think was “my cabbages!!!”
We Need a part 2!! this is great your humor is great, and the fact that all your videos are about more obscure parts of history is great!
Even if one's "occupation" as a pirate is successful, pirate life still kinda sucked. Having to be out in something as dangerous as the open ocean on unsanitary, cramped wooden boats that the waves could, at any time, completely total (fairly easily, I might add) to risk life and limb for wealth that, even if you initially acquire successfully, will thereafter paint about a dozen different targets on your back, while subsisting on nothing but weevil bread and meat that's both harder to ingest and less edible than tree bark is downright hellish.
Most of them started in one of the various Royal Navies, where conditions were hardly better.
Then got laid off after most of the warring was done.
I mean the second story with the Somali pirates shows that their life sucked even before piracy and the piracy was a consequence and not a cause of a miserable life
Depends on who you are I assume.
Like life sucked for the entire crew, sure.
But I've heard tell of captains who had their own clean quarters and decent nutrition to the detriment of everyone else.
nah that intro was NEXT LEVEL!! you cooked my friend
*I don't want a pardon for the French ones!*
Hysterical.
I remember hearing a more local rumor about a river pirate back during the gold rush. Dude set out on his first day as a pirate alone on a boat, hit rapids, boat flips, and he's never seen again.
Yes part 2 would be nice
The voice acting in your videos definitely one of the best in UA-cam history creators
this guy is like a real life pirate version of Don Quixote from the book of the same name, which is both funny and terrifying.
I'm always up for more wacky pirate tales.
Stede Bonnet is probably my favorite pirate I've never heard of.
you should definitely do a part 2
"In order to keep word of his activities from reaching home, he burned to the ground."
Wouldn't it be "burned to the water" since they're in the middle of the ocean?
I'm sure the remains eventually reached the ground (ocean floor). Just no longer burning.
Difficult question.
Some people don't quit just because they hit a few ...hold on a sec... 352, holy shit... uh, I mean 352 quintillion gallons of water.
"And these men pay your salary" is a good life lesson.
yes i would love a part 2 and even a part 3 so many worst pirate history to talk about. Heck even the "famous" pirates have some worst parts to them.
DAMN i gotta say my bird friend... you have significantly improved your animation. the intro geniuently suprised me!
6:28 man that dude got obliterated by that parrot lol
A typical therapist woulda stretched that much hard truth over six months and $2500.
5:58 I’m Blind Beard, the Pirate! 🏴☠️