8 SIGNS YOU HAVE CONTROLLING ISSUES + HELPFUL TIPS
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- Опубліковано 3 сер 2024
- Today, we are talking about control! We all like to be in control sometimes. However, some of depend on it. Some of us have to control every situation. In this video, I talk about 8 signs that you may struggle with being a control freak or have control issues. I did not leave you hanging, I also gave you guys some tips for working on your controlling behaviors!
✟ May this be fruitful for you ✟
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I think it’s a misconception that “control freaks” think they do things better than everyone, or that they are never wrong, narcissists, etc. when I’m reality it’s like we KNOW we don’t do things better than everyone, we just want it done OUR way so that we know what to expect. I believe controlling people at one point were the most laid back, until something happened to us that made us realize that we do need to be aware and in control of situations so we don’t get hurt.
YES! I think it starts in school when you „realize“ your way get‘s you better grades and you do all the group projects by yourself to be prepared
I couldn’t have said this better myself. It’s all out of fear and anxiety of things that have happened to us in our life’s from people we trusted the most. I grew up with a dad just like this and then a boyfriend just like this until I became so out of control of myself that I didn’t realise I was trying to control others out fear that people were going to hurt me again. 😔
Then that’s where I believe healing yourself needs to happen before you start to push others away due to your past situations. It’s not fair for people to go through that just because controlling people don’t want to look internally at themselves to fix the hurt and instead control everything externally to low key not look back at themselves.
❤️😍
I agree it came from a abusive family environment for me. It made me want to control everything to be able to protect myself.
Man I'm realizing right now that my anxiety is fueled by control issues
Now you can take action 😊
Your type of control sounds like what I also suffer with. I don't seem to control people. It seems I try and control situations such as whether a new job is for me or not before giving it enough time. I have walked out on more than one job in my years later knowing that I handled the situation wrong. I did have seven good years with my last employer. I don't know why some jobs are okay and others aren't. Need to learn more about this.
Hammer on mail
I thought I just had anxiety but now I see... I'm a control freak too. I only realized of years of someone telling me, but only acknowledged it recently.. How do we fix this?? The control makes me feel like my head is going to EXPLODE if I don't fix it.
I will be making videos on this! I am wishing you the best Pam!
Saaaame!!!
@@RashawndaJames Hello! Did you ever get around to do that video, because I can't seem to find it on your channel. All the best!
Shadow work is how I work with it, but shadow work can be risky. I don’t recommend it without a therapist, but there is a meditation that helps you name it…putting a name on my shadows makes them my allies instead of my enemy. It’s called “feeding your demons” I don’t care for the title but the technique is excellent in assisting with the integration of the shadow.
Someone said stay in your lane lol
i became a control freak out of nowhere. i used to be just okay with everything but now everything sets me off. trying to get better. thank you for the video & tips💗
This is me on a couple levels. Working progress for sure! Thanks Rashawnda
Awareness is key! Thanks!
My way is the right way that’s why I live alone
I'm a 100% match!!! This current situation i have felt so heavy until I watched your video. It was truth served on a funny platter... something that I realized was very palatable for me when served this way. Needed your vibes! Thank you, I feel like I can take the steps I need to take to feel and do better
Described me to a T. I’m trying to work on myself so I don’t loose my partner. I can definitely say my controlling issues came from childhood trauma with my mom. If it wasn’t right in her eyes I wasn’t good enough so I always tried to fix myself so I can be what she wanted if I didn’t she would ignore me, belittle me and call me names. I’m really trying to change and this helped a lot. I’ll be watching your second video.
I was this many years old (29) when I learned I am a control freak..
Welcome :)
I love your energy. Yep, this is me... Oh, no. Thanks for this video!!!
Thanks so much!
Do you think people who are like this are this way because they have been hurt so much in their life that they feel the need to control everything so that they don't, or are less likely to get hurt? I thought about that when you said something about processing emotions? Maybe they try to control everything so they don't have to deal with any uncomfortable emotions that might happen.
About using silence for control...just enjoy the silence.
😘 Thank you for this video, I needed to hear this.
Glad it was helpful!
Oh God THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video 🖤🖤
You are so welcome!
Super helpful! Would love to see the next video on how to fix these problems in myself.
Lord you are talking to me🥺 I was lead to this video trying to deal with my control issues 😢
Trust I am talking to myself as well 😅
Interesting video😁 didnt think these were a controlling person habits
Thanks!
I recognize that I am too controlling, because it recently starting to affect my friendship with a male friend.
My mouth was open wide the whole video..I am no longer in denial.
I hate how you just read me, but I already noticed something hence why I’m watching this video so I can’t even be mad at you. you found a new sub Ms Rashawnda! 😂 I’m done having it “my way or the hwy” 😩 lol ima def work on these tips.
Thanks for this.
My pleasure!
Love your energy. I deal with anxiety and panic. Looking forward to exploring your channel and future videos!
Thanks for sharing and your support!
You have a wonderful personality, you should be a comedian.
I have been told that before lol
I am 64. I recently walked out on a new job I had started. There were some issues with the training but instead of bringing it to someone I just made plans not to return the next day. That first day away felt good then I realized I did wrong by up and quitting. Only shot myself in the foot. I partially did not go talk with any supervisors because I was afraid they would talk me into staying and I guess I had already determined I wasn't going to. Thus keeping things in my control I'm guessing. I need to look into this further. This didn't happen at my last job of 7 years but it's not the first job throughout my years of working where I up and quit. I have to move on from here and forgive myself but I most definitely need to speak with someone professionally as well. David
I have anxiety issues, and codependency issues, and also control issues 😅. My control stems from several fears:
1. If I don’t do it it won’t be done right and I’ll get in trouble and punished for it (which has happened)
2. I am terrified of getting used to help because I am afraid of being abandoned so I want to be as “independent” as possible.
3. Also it hurts my pride accepting any kind of help because I am used to doing everything myself. So help to me is like I just lost the game.
So I take on too many tasks and I push people away that want to help me. It’s like I am addicted to it at this point and it’s an impulse . My best friend and I just had a chat because I had a bad anxiety attack at work stemming from these core issues.
She told me people want to help me but they think I don’t need them and I push everyone away. And she said I have to learn to work as a team instead of the mindset that everything and everybody rests in my shoulders. Because she hates seeing my mental health take a nose dive.
I am now slowly working on this issue as well as the other two mentioned. I have come a long way but I know I have a ways to go to.
Those are helpful tips!
I’m happy to hear!!
Pure gold
Thanks!
This is so me. Wow.
I am just learning to recognize that I have control issues. I will talk with my therapist about it next week, but, I've been going to therapy for probably over 8 years now. It isn't fun to learn there are levels of mental health I haven't even touched yet even after all that work.
I think my control issues stem from my trauma. Like, if I don't clean everything myself, the mold will seep in and the bugs will consume me because I fear no one else will clean thoroughly like I do. If I'm not the one who's planning, the plan will fail. If I'm not near the edge of the pool, I'll drown, regardless of if someone is near; they won't save me in time. I can't tell anyone this because bad things will happen so I hide behind this account.
Holy shit I’m a major control freak and I’m realizing it’s caused so many issues with my relationships in my love life and work
Awareness is key!
Your smile is so beautiful ❤️
Thanks so much
This was a good video. Because ive had to discpline myself. Everyone in my space might succumg to my own self-discpline. I target them like i target my congitions.
I love your style. It feels like you are calling out negative behaviors, not shaming. I think this is very helpful. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much!
Work in progress here I admit I am one but nicer in life where it matters most ! Lol Namaste love and light
I think being quiet doesn't always mean that. There's times when people done something and they are in the wrong but just want argue that thire rite. Then I will not continue speaking cause arguing over something their never gonna admit.
You are awesome
Thanks!
Thank you.
Your welcome 🤗
I looked for a video with helpful tips if you think you’re a control freak, did I miss that somewhere? Love your videos btw!
That no.4 point😭!!!
Nice smile good advice
Thanks so much!
I think I've become a control freak ever since my old friend a few years back was "leader" of me and my friends then he left the school after many years and since I was second leader back then I became top leader and I wanted control since he always controlled us so fml
Thank u
That is me.... So sad....and shocking....thanks now i know
Hi this video is so me, I have a 12 year old son I don’t want to feel belittled or think his ways, and ideas, are anything but amazing. Do u have a follow up video for this one with ways to not be so controlling, or a coping video I can watch with him to better understand his perspective?
Omg this is soooo me 😳☹️
WHYYYYYY is this so funny 😂
This is giving such Virgo 😭😭😭😭
Oh crap 😳😭 I’ve got work to do!!! 😆😆😆
We all do!
Literally me ! I’m a control freak I admit it 😂😅🤫
I was like nope this ain't me until #5. Sheesh.
GET OFF MY TOES!!!!! I was looking for ways to help my husband and I'll be dog-gone if you didn't just slap me all ova my head with this video!!!! You literally made me LAUGH OUT LOUD at #3..........4..........5.............6...............7..............okay and #8!!!! Now, that you have called me out, how do I 'fix it'???????
Subscribed FOR LIFE!!!!! thank you 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Yea she's talking about me 🙂
This is 101% me....How can I overcome it?
So how is "constructive critic" bad when I, for example, say to my bf that him running and disappearing for days after a conflict is not good?
I feel ya.... I think the appropriate reaction would be 1-to leave if if it’s such a problem for you or 2-to tell him when he comes back that it hurts you and that’s you’d prefer to talk things out. At the third strike, they’re out ! I guess... I’m still working on that shit myself 😅
I prefer the term control enthusiast 😂
Am I controlling if wanted my bf to hang out with me at night and he wanted to go to the gym. I just don’t know if I’m controlling or clingy but he calls me controlling? I understand what he is saying in a way but I also feel like he should understand that some nights are for us to hang out and not everyday he needs to go to the gym because we have busy schedules.
Omg this is me 😩😩
me too at times!
question on 3. what if its because I am upset? Is it the same thing?
Honestly I feel like i've been controlling at work, I've worked there for like 6 years, and everyone else has been working for less. I don't really care if they do it differently, I just want them to see the original way/or the official way first then do what they want. If there new especially. I don't care as long as they know. So I don't know if that is controlling.
Yeah def me
This is me. I am trying to work on it but I keep making the same mistake over n over. I hate been controlling How do I stop doing it. Help please
Gosh darn it I’m a control freak😕
You are not alone!
I know I’m late but I have a problem of rolling my eyes back and forth I do this every day every second I’m scared that my eyes will get stuck and I will have this problem for my whole life you have Any ways how I can stop please
6 out of 8 , whoooops :/
Another thing they do, project things onto you. Especially if they get in trouble.
so true!
This is me. I need help and cannot afford therapy or time off work
OOOH LAWD
THIS IS ME🤦🏾♀️😔
Me too at some points!
This is all me 😭😭😭😭😭
Me too at times!
How do I fix myself 😔😔
I have anxiety disorder and I probably have control issues. I also have perfection issues and I can’t just say ‘no ones perfect, Im not perfect’. It’s hard for me and mostly I can’t fix it. So that might be the root of probably my control issue. I have bad trauma of not fitting in and still do now. Maybe that is the problem. To not feel accepted since I was mostly always around judge mental people. Tho it might be genetic since almost all of my family members have been diagnosed with disorders. I hate living like this and I don’t know how to change it. I just want to fit in but probably found the worst way for it. And I can’t take criticism well either! Oh boy…
Inseguridad projectada
Speaking pure facts queen
Thanks so much!!!
Tom in iowa city
Yup....my ex wife 100%. Only to me though. She treated everyone else like a normal person.
i recognized means im not
So gang
Control issues
Palabra encantada
So my mother basically. Bwahahaha. Can you have control issues, while not having a specific personality disorders (Narc., Codependence, ect.)?
Yes, the controlling issues can stem from various other things outside of a personality disorder. For example, growing up in a disorganized household or not being able to rely on other people. This can lead to you feeling like you can only rely on yourself, thus controlling anything you can.
Thank you for the response! It helps!
I’m a control monster I need help
Hey, take the time to find out where the control comes from so that you can replace that feeling with something positive.
the problem i have with this is it sounds like almost everybody can relate to this. i feel like the more you grow the more you understand the value of controlling your own life. what i got from this video is if you stand up for yourself or if you believe in yourself so much so that you need to be the captain of the ship, you’re controlling. don’t most successful people have most of what she just listed??
I felt attack with that hmmm lmao
LOL I love your way of presenting it. I would like to control that >:( jkjk ;)
Omg I’m controlling 😩🥺
We all have struggling with it!
You are presenting this topic as if you're talking to the general "control freak population" but I detect some emotion behind it, maybe there's (or was) someone in your life that you felt was way too controlling of you?
WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE MUCH MUCH MORE ENERGY WHEN IM IN A SITUATION I CAN CONTROL TWO OR EVEN THREE TIMES MORE. OTHERWISE LETHARGY
:( 💔
No juzgen
Expectativa irracional
Sbx
Imposición
Me:(
I’m controlling😩😩😩
NOBODY can control me.
Wait💀
Bruderias
Describe me to a t ... except some of the things
I noticed 77 in that phone number for people to come and take your animals over talking neighbors Carrie😏
Shit, that’s me. But my dad is worse !!! 😅🙃🤣 Ok I’m going to therapy ➡️
I have go to the therapy for this as well :)
@@RashawndaJames *UPDATE* Mine is going really well. It's very helpful, although I'm considering killing that shrink most days LOL
I fucking hate myself