speech pathologist here, have had to prescribe it for many patients, and can confirm it's pretty awful. :( I joked it made one lady who had not spoken since a stroke start talking again, just to ask for anything other than that. lol. Bless your granny!
@@LOWBORN-the-LOATHSOME in what world, galaxy, universe or dimension is such a phrase justifiably okay to say? That woman was born on a reservation to an Apache widow of the Bear Valley Massacre, she got a telegram about her brother dying in Japan in World War Two in a segregated schoolhouse with 25 total kids in it, long long after the invention of the telephone, because they wouldn’t give my people access to it. By the time they paved a road near her house she had 7 kids with no plumbing because they still neglected them, that’s in the 1950’s and 60’s. Her husband, my great grandfather, became sheriff despite his race, and was killed almost immediately for it. A rape victim, that still, to this day, believes in the goodness of people. Despite shitlips like you existing. She was driving until she was 94. She’s in great health and spirits for someone her age, still making cinnamon rolls by hand every morning. But if I had to live, at 97, in a world that left me behind when I was born, any inconvenience would push me to the edge too. Fuck you. May you live not even a quarter as long.
PV3, long time fan here, watched almost every single one of your videos. You don’t have to keep entertaining us with the Malort. I mean, of course we love it, but at this point I can’t tell if you’re just doing it because it’s funny or if you feel an obligation to fulfill. You have no obligation to us lowly viewers, we all love you for who you are! If you ever decide it’s time to put the Malort away for good, we will all understand! PV3 Nation forever😎
The look at 4:00... A wonderful mix of "What the absolute fuck am I doing with my life?!" and "Look at what you monsters have reduced me to. From hell's heart I stab at thee!"
I've never felt such pain and discomfort in my entire life as I feel right now. Partly because this is now a thing existing in the world and partly because PV3 DIDN'T finish it. I'd pay a small amount of money to hear him say "thhhicccc-it" again.
Watch out for the chorro. The thing about Malört is that it probably tastes/smells the same going out as it did going in. If you stretch the culinary term porridge then this is what you have created: Malört porridge. Yum yum yum
PV3, you need to be open to the possible love in your life. If she digs your stache, she's totally a keeper. Sharing your financials is really just putting yourself out there, showing that you're ready for love.
This has to be a brilliant marketing strategy for Jeppson’s. Make it sound bad so people buy it. Then you realize how good it is with soju and elderflower liquor and keep going back. I’ll need to buy more soon.
... This is a cry for help if I ever read one. Jeppson's agents are in the room with you, right? Write a glowing review of Malört and Jaeger combination shot if yes, Malört and mint liquor if not.
Just the other day I thought "I wonder if Melort would be better thick?". Thanks for saving me from this. Now do that green fairy. Absinth goop would be fun to watch. Or 4 loko.
It was like watching a horror movie, but I couldn't close my eyes because I was running on the treadmill. Then his reaction/description made me laugh. I really shouldn't watch these while running in the treadmill.
Thick-It is possibly the one thing that could make anything (Malort) taste worse. You don't get to take it quick like a shot. You have to swallow it and that takes extra seconds for the taste to linger.
I work in a nursing home as a cook I use the stuff Everyday they use it on certain people that can eat or drink normal food some people normal food is a choking hazard
I sat down to watch during my lunch and almost spit out my food when I saw the title.... I can't...I can't... man deserves a medal or some TUMS. But honestly, I wonder if Thick-It freezes, could do like solid frozen alcoholic popsicles.
This is the day PV3 went from reviewer of terrible alcohol to performance artist. I felt this one deeply.
why not both
I'm sorry that you hate yourself enough to do this.. We love your stuff man, malort or not!
Hey man stop telling him to not eat or drink (maybe even smoke?) malort
@@nolanwadrmalort dipped cigar when?
My 97 year old great grandmother says she hates being alive after having thick it anything, god bless PV3
It sounds like she won't stay alive for much more anyway tbh
speech pathologist here, have had to prescribe it for many patients, and can confirm it's pretty awful. :( I joked it made one lady who had not spoken since a stroke start talking again, just to ask for anything other than that. lol. Bless your granny!
@@LOWBORN-the-LOATHSOME in what world, galaxy, universe or dimension is such a phrase justifiably okay to say? That woman was born on a reservation to an Apache widow of the Bear Valley Massacre, she got a telegram about her brother dying in Japan in World War Two in a segregated schoolhouse with 25 total kids in it, long long after the invention of the telephone, because they wouldn’t give my people access to it. By the time they paved a road near her house she had 7 kids with no plumbing because they still neglected them, that’s in the 1950’s and 60’s. Her husband, my great grandfather, became sheriff despite his race, and was killed almost immediately for it. A rape victim, that still, to this day, believes in the goodness of people. Despite shitlips like you existing. She was driving until she was 94. She’s in great health and spirits for someone her age, still making cinnamon rolls by hand every morning. But if I had to live, at 97, in a world that left me behind when I was born, any inconvenience would push me to the edge too. Fuck you. May you live not even a quarter as long.
@@lisamillraney5382 she only drinks thickened cranberry juice for renal problems. Otherwise she’s in good health, thank you for those kind words.
Im gonna have to put this on the cruel and unusual list
PV3, long time fan here, watched almost every single one of your videos. You don’t have to keep entertaining us with the Malort. I mean, of course we love it, but at this point I can’t tell if you’re just doing it because it’s funny or if you feel an obligation to fulfill. You have no obligation to us lowly viewers, we all love you for who you are! If you ever decide it’s time to put the Malort away for good, we will all understand! PV3 Nation forever😎
Yeah I think it might be time to retire Malort before PV3 actually starts to hate what he's doing.
@@MisterBung and he did now I have no one to share my alcohol addiction with
For some reason the way he was saying the variations of thick mixed with the moustache was so funny Jesus Christ he’s a mad man!!!
I'm actually gonna give you some props PV3. That could not have been worth anything, but you did it for the PV3 nation. Big props! 👍👍
Scoop falling in is just so on brand. As a regular with whey protein, man that was funny and relatable.
This will make an excellent series. You can even thicken up a nice wine.
Seeing that title legit sent a shiver down my spine. Keep up the great work!
The look at 4:00... A wonderful mix of "What the absolute fuck am I doing with my life?!" and "Look at what you monsters have reduced me to. From hell's heart I stab at thee!"
I've never felt such pain and discomfort in my entire life as I feel right now. Partly because this is now a thing existing in the world and partly because PV3 DIDN'T finish it.
I'd pay a small amount of money to hear him say "thhhicccc-it" again.
Oh god why😂😂😂
I feel like this is a step into a dark dark branch of the malort series; malort and increasingly harder drugs.
I'm very excited for the upcoming Thicc Cocktails series that this has inspired now
This is the only youtube video about alcohol I have ever cared about, but MY GOD is this man a good presenter
Your pain, discomfort, and disgust is the best thing in my life. Malört Ice cream!
Malört: turning "Thick-It" to "Ick-It"
The ladies are right loving the stash my dude 👨🏻🍳✨
One of those UA-camrs I see in my subscriptions and feel happy that they’re still making content.
One of your best. One day there will be an infomercial about compensation for people who drank malort, and I'll think of you.
He'll be modelling in that commercial.
This is why the internet exists. Absolutely glorious!
I was clenched and concerned while watching this.
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thank you for your (drink) service!
A Thicket of Malort Reeds 🌱🌵🌿
I am, indeed, happy.
I gotta say, the stache really took this video to a whole new level for me.
I came here for the stache. I was not disappointed.
Watch out for the chorro.
The thing about Malört is that it probably tastes/smells the same going out as it did going in.
If you stretch the culinary term porridge then this is what you have created:
Malört porridge.
Yum yum yum
Absolutely lost it at “that’s shit… from a butt” 🤣🤣🤣💀
This channel had only gotten better, like fine....something
Malört? 😂
PV3, you need to be open to the possible love in your life. If she digs your stache, she's totally a keeper. Sharing your financials is really just putting yourself out there, showing that you're ready for love.
This is just one step away from Malort jello shots
Bite into the magic... Malört
I want this to end
That moustache looking good.
Jell-o shot roulette with different alcohols! At least you can win a few!
This needs more views.
2024, year of The Thickening.
Gotta love mallort mixology
It's more of a choking hazard when you make it that thick. You could make a Malort cream pie with Malort infused whipping cream.
😮
A bakery in Chicago did that in 2017. It was pretty good.
John Hodgman needs to be a special guest for one of these.
I know I need to be applauding you for this abomination (I am), but I can’t get over the great mustache and plaid shirt combo
He looks like a young Nick Offerman. Like from a Parks & Rec prequel.
@@jasonblalock4429haha I 100% agree!
We gotta get this guy on Xanthan Gum. Makes cornstarch look like child’s play.
I've been so excited for this since the first preview you put out.
Filmed courtesy of a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 (tm)... while it was on fire. RIP IKEA men. Also liked and subscribed. Keep up the good work! ;)
Pv3 hot with the moustache I'm weak
The Thickening?!?!
Thick-it-ology. I like it. A nice break from the Malort might do your headspace some good, too.
This has to be a brilliant marketing strategy for Jeppson’s. Make it sound bad so people buy it. Then you realize how good it is with soju and elderflower liquor and keep going back. I’ll need to buy more soon.
I'll take malört over absinthe...infact, weird aftertaste aside, it's stupid sweet.
Who hurt you?
... This is a cry for help if I ever read one. Jeppson's agents are in the room with you, right? Write a glowing review of Malört and Jaeger combination shot if yes, Malört and mint liquor if not.
I'll assume soju is some code for sock juice, I can see that covering over some the malort
PV3 went from being abused by his ex wife to being abused with malort by his followers....
Its a slight improvement 😅
Will It Thick-It?!
Perfect title
I think I'd go with moderate thickkkkkkkk just so it coats the tongue evenly. Godspeed, sir.
I want to get off Mr. Malort's Wild Ride
I have quit drinking for almost a year now but I’m always happy to see homie doing his thing
Sober 31 years and PV3 is my MAN!
That's a very Westworldian moustache, sir - you look like a regretful James Marsden. Also, props for THICKIN' IT UP
Absinthe + Thickit seems like the quckest way to see the arch-angels!
Malort Mixology Challenge:
The Boulevardier, but replace the bourbon with malort
Just the other day I thought "I wonder if Melort would be better thick?". Thanks for saving me from this. Now do that green fairy. Absinth goop would be fun to watch. Or 4 loko.
when can i get subtitles for this stash?
i will do them for free, no lie
It was like watching a horror movie, but I couldn't close my eyes because I was running on the treadmill. Then his reaction/description made me laugh. I really shouldn't watch these while running in the treadmill.
Thank you for your sad, strange, contributions to science PV3
You made Malört oobleck. Ooblört.
Apparently Ooblört means "oblivious" in another language. Presumably Swedish or Norwegian or something of that nature.
You actually got off easy.
It's 100x more disgusting when it's roughly the consistency of breakfast syrup, no matter what the liquid is.
You were half way to death as soon as you opened the malort. You just kicked the other 50% into gear. We will remember you.
What a fucking rabbit hole... i need to sleep, but i just kept going deeper and witnessing greater and greater abominations...
Feeling like a jello Mallort is th next step
I'd love to see you in sketches. You seem like you'd drop right into any sitcom type thing.
On a podcast, John Flanders (PVIII’s real name) talks about his stand up and his history doing viral ads.
Thick-It is possibly the one thing that could make anything (Malort) taste worse. You don't get to take it quick like a shot. You have to swallow it and that takes extra seconds for the taste to linger.
I work in a nursing home as a cook I use the stuff Everyday they use it on certain people that can eat or drink normal food some people normal food is a choking hazard
Easy-to-use if you use a blender
I sat down to watch during my lunch and almost spit out my food when I saw the title.... I can't...I can't... man deserves a medal or some TUMS. But honestly, I wonder if Thick-It freezes, could do like solid frozen alcoholic popsicles.
The soup strainer makes you look like a cop.
You are the truest hero of our times.
Loved you on Sandwiches of History. ❤
I feel like the whole channel is a big marketing stunt from malort. I'm intrigued to taste it 😅
"Well that's where that is! That... makes sense!" Lol
It's about damn time you treated yourself to a refreshing Malort Sunset (Tequila Sunrise with Malort).
Legend.
The drink was not as thick as your mustache. So thick, so pure, so gorgeous.
I would have no problem with PV3 pivoting from Malort Mixology to "Will it THICK IT?"
Hmmm can you make Malort Gummy bears?
I can’t believe you kept it in your mouth that long. TWSS.
Love seeing your reactions anyway.
Looking at your video list it looks like you survived this. Congratulations and I hope your liver is still functioning.
You should've done all three thicknesses. DOO OVVEEERR!!!!
I for one am ready for the PV3's transition to the Thick-It era of somalier
@unemployedwineguy I gotta say: man I respect that you really just... Do it.
My God. He did it. He really did it.
Thanks! I *am* happy.
Boy he's going to regret that later. Or immediately. Whichever one comes first and then whichever one comes last.
Thank you PV3, thank you.
I was thinking that it was going to be more like a caramel chew when it says chewable. Also was hoping for that lol.
It'd be cool to see what the Thick-It does to booze you would stand a chance of enjoying. Chewable wine?
I’m pretty sure after you took a legit bite, it briefly turned you into Freddy Mercury. 😂
You have spared the wooden overlords this tragedy and we thank you for it
yeah the moustache makes it way more horrible
i love it
This guy is effing hilarious! I do feel for him, though.
Now we're simply at the stage of self-abuse.
We need to go further. Make it like a Ben&Jerry flavors ice cream. Malört&Peanut butter Ice cream, or maybe Strawberry Cake & Malört.
You're a braver man than I am😂🥰❤
At that consistency, you might have been better frying it up and making a johnnycake.