Yep, found my love for art again during the lockdown, been trying to heal emotionally, now for the past 3 weeks I've been having panic attacks according to my neurologist, just when I thought i was leaving all the depression behind, still, done all the check ups and it seems it's all mental now I have to see a therapist
It got better..and worse at the same time. I fell in love with art again over lockdown and learned alot. But at the same time I had to rebuild my sense of self after bombshells and crushing realizations. Im still learning how to deal with it and rebuild, got a job to support my wants but I gotta go back to therapy so there's that. Still trying to put my stuff back out there even with the little voice telling me no one sees it.
"You may have been given a dire consequence for a failure without the opportunity to improve" ... isn't that just school? Would explain a lot about the mental health of students (and recovering students) ngl
I love such conversations and talking openly about mental health and art struggles... art has always been a way to process and self soothe or escape from all the noise
physical health is a huge factor too. If youre eating bad and never exercise you wont have much energy and your mental health goes down the drain too. I know many people dont wanna hear this, especially because most of us are awkward shut in nerds but man we have to take care of us. If not for yourself do it for your art xd
As someone trying to grow on social media as an artist, I have let go of overfixating and overanalysing... it took some time to come to terms with things I can't control, but now I just try to focus on my art and it took a lot of weight off,,,
That's exactly my situation lol. I literally will say to myself out-loud sometimes - "hey...that can wait", or , "it doesn't have to be perfect right now"
I have chronic health issues and lately I’ve been buying myself a lollipop every time I go to the hospital. It’s made me feel a little less resentful towards my body. Like it’s not working at 100% but it’s WORKING! It’s still allowing my brain and heart to function. I have all limbs. Sure I’m in pain and life sucks sometimes but I have a lollipop and for the 20-40 mins I’m eating it, I just think about how nice the lollipop is. People laugh at me but are miserable coming out of that hospital. I’m not. I enjoy my hospital days. I get a meal at a cafe I love and get some cake to have at home for the next few days. I think rewarding yourself for such “basic” and “adult” tasks is something that everyone ridicules but no one actually realises it works wonders. If I wake up and get out of bed when my alarm goes, I listen to my favourite song and dance while feeding my cats. If I journal for that day or meditate, I make myself a snack I love. On my work breaks, I watch an episode of anime or read a web toon. I have horrible mental health but it’s literally made the difference between suicidal and not. When I do art, if something isn’t working and it’s stressing me out, I will stop and start tracing references for fun to figure out the shapes of these really acrobatic poses. It’s fun to me and then when I go back to my own work, I’m not angry anymore. I can work without being scared it won’t work cause just like the tracing, I can go back to the basics like using triangles, circles and rectangles to get what I want. I’m doing a piece with like a million hands and it’s stressing me out because hands are hard when they are in an awkward position where the fingers are squashed and I had to legit take a pic of my hand and trace it for 5 mins to figure out MY WHOLE INITIAL SHAPE WAS WRONG! I drew a triangle base but it was a rectangle base! Sometimes we get so caught up in making things so complex and hard to prove out worth, we forget we have basics to fall back on. Anatomy is just shapes put together. All art is just lines on a page, sometimes just dots. And even then, if I get frustrated, I go do something I love and praise myself for even ATTEMPTING it. I don’t praise success, I praise EFFORT. It’s been a game changer. Praising success will always be outside validation. Praising effort is all internal. Only YOU can see your effort. It’s one of the things I’ll be taking into the new year. I hope everyone learns that mistakes are good and help you learn. If you make no mistakes, you never learn. There’s this apple pie where the apples are in the tin without any pastry under it and has pastry on top. It was made by mistake. If the bakers didn’t go through with it and allow it to be baked, we wouldn’t have that delicious apple pie. Sometimes, mistakes help us step out of our habits and routines and help us grow and develop. Utilise it!
This is such an important message, especially after the collective trauma of the pandemic. Therapy was the best thing I did for my art since getting a drawing tablet. I believed I was a fundamentally terrible person for nearly half my life, and every time my art didn't get immense praise or attention I saw it as confirmation of my worthlessness as a person. And I'm not 100% better right now but...now that I'm learning to love, trust, and understand who I am, I've become so much more invested in my own artistic growth and success. I wish I could tell that young lady in high school that she would go on to do so much good, make so many valuable friends, and make art she could be genuinely proud of. Tysm for this reminder to stay strong in the face of our debilitating issues, you're a blessing to this community Josh 💖
I can't exaggerate how much I needed this all this time. Every time I feel like failing I felt that something was wring with me and it's a personal failure as an artist. I didn't draw for 4 months and picking the pen now feels like a tremendous struggle. I just started my first therapy and made tiny improvements but I still beat myself down and choke my ideas and something i get excited about. I really, really needed this right now. Cried when you described the reaction of inner child towards self beating It also gave me so much hope that I can work with my brain wounds and really improve as an artist, thank you so much
I can heavily relate to this. I spent five years (FIVE YEARS!!) on this app that you can do pixel art on. I loved it! I learned so many new tricks and improved a lot along the way. It is where i garnered my first "big" following, and i enjoyed it. However, as the years went on and my mental health declined, i found myself comparing myself to other artists, on and off the app. It only made my view of my art worse and i ended up starting to draw when i felt bad. I created an alt account where i posted vent art, which initially i thought was a good idea! I could practice art and get my feelings on a canvas, whats not to love? Then i accidentally trained my brain into thinking, "Hey, whenever we feel bad we make art that reflects our bad emotions, so every time we feel bad lets make art that makes us feel bad every time we look at it." I ended hating the process of drawing so much after that and considered going on a hiatus of making art for months or even years until i magically started enjoying drawing again. Over this last summer i was off of that app and went back to traditional. Oh my goodness, not only did i improve so much not drawing for the sake of other people seeing it, but i started to enjoy the process again! When i went back to the app i made a post about me officially leaving and though me and many others were sad, it felt so freeing! I no longer had to look at a canvas and see the dark and dreary colors, and crying characters, or whatever else. I was finally able to let myself be free in enjoying my art. My mental health has also improved drastically since the beginning of the summer until now, and this is even the best mindset ive ever been in in my entire life. I still struggle with depression cause it never goes away, but changing my mindset was only important to my personal growth, but integral to my growth as an artist! And you were completely right, being stuck in a rut can ABSOLUTELY set you back YEARS worth of growth, it is actually insane. That is also one of the main reasons ive stopped doing pixel art now because it's just not my medium and wasnt helping me improve in the aspects that needed the mist improvement. Ive followed you because youve always kept it real, and i appreciate you for that. Thank you for making this video.
Wow that bit about how you feel bad from looking at the art you made in that place is really interesting. I really appreciate your comment as well, I'm glad to know you have come to a better place with your relationship to your work!
Recently I've been overwhelmed by these ideas that seem to be prevelent in the art world that you must create EVERY day and constantly be on the hustle - OR you won't make it, you won't be successful, you are not a real artist, and you don't want it enough. It's been devastating to be hearing this messaging constantly. I can't create every day. In fact I've spent years not creating. I do not understand the lack of compassion in this narrative, but because I could not always adequately explain WHY i could not create, it felt like maybe it was true. I KNEW it wasn't. But it was easy to feel alone. Thank you ergojosh for your vulnerability and encouragement. 💜I feel more at home inside my skin.
I’ve always identified with the connection, creativity is a direct link to God, and the result of being exposed to that level of divinity and pure ethos is a kin to the madness a human would experience being all knowing and omnipotent/omnipresent. Our capacity to create is an outlet of that creative energy linking to us. I always told people my drawing is more of a need than a want. If I don’t do it I feel sick and overwhelmed.
i really appreciate this message since ive always felt this pressure in the online art community (weather or not its intentional) to never heal from mental health issues because if you do there's some sense that youll loose your creativity. and boy howdy do i have a lot of them.
damn man, some hard truths in there, some of which i was like dayum that exactly how it feels. loosing decades of skill when not mentally prepped for drawing is insanely true.
Josh, I truly appreciate your insight into this matter of Mental health. I am not alone, You are not alone, We are not alone. Looking forward to more of you, love you!
You have vocalized my exact struggle and thought process. Its so nice finally hearing from someone who understands and doesn't trivialize this issue. I now know how to get started on this journey. Thank you. Thank you.
I can relate, I've been trying to build a following on youtube and the slow growth sometimes makes me question my skills and makes me wonder if I should've spent more time learning a different skill, glad you're in a better place now :)
I felt the same way, but with Instagram. It’s often a struggle to keep up with the trends & honestly more often than not, they’re nonsensical. You do you & never let a number on a screen define your worth ❤️
I’m feeling this, I’ve started posting across different platforms and it really feels like shouting into the void sometimes : ( I know it’s a slow process, but with the state a lot of platforms are in rn with the algorithms and such, I’ve been wondering if it’s too late to try and establish a following from scratch, I’ll give you a follow at least to help your channel grow! : )
This one was personal.. But thank you for that. My ego was completely destroyed by time because of years of not being taken seriously, heard and taught that I am younger, weaker, dumber... I suffer from mental problems these days and I have hard times not literally hating myself sometimes. The brain and mental health are real.
For an artist with a traumatic brain injury, this has really resonated with me. I can relate to a lot of what you spoke of here. It's been over 15 years now since my brain injury accident, and I've really grown and improved over these years. It's been a long, hard road, but it's been worth every minute, both bad and good, because of my love of art.
I thought I could run away from my self-esteem issues with landing an art-related job. Well, it helped - but not in a way I thought. I was still struggling, but it pushed me to make the right decisions to take care of my mental health. Your video resonated with me, because I had similar struggles with that abandoned little kid that needed some encouragement and space to wander freely with their tiny set of crayons, away from judgement of professional world. I shoud be good to go in few weeks, and I feel the difference in a way I approach my personal art. To the rest of you out there: take care of yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for help.
When you mentioned hugging yourself and kissing your hand, I started tearing up. This video was exactly what I needed and I’m really glad I found it. Thank you so so much ❤
I really appreciated this video. By continuing to use the intuitive part of my brain rather than ego I can now see myself more compassionately. It'd been a while since you posted that I nearly forgot your channel was up! Thank you for the lesson and thank you for being authentic with us about mental health.
Thank you!!! This is so true too! I moved away for a a couple years for school and was miserable. I barely created anything art or otherwise when I would usually be bursting with ideas weekly if not daily. The same month I came back home, I did more creative things in those four weeks than I had in those two YEARS. Be healthy, artists! Illnesses and suffering aren’t ACTUALLY the GENUINE source of inspiration - YOU ARE!! ❤️
I'm just breaking out of a two-year battle with depression right now. I did absolutely nothing for two years. The only energy I had was to get out of bed for work, and even that was suspect. Mental health issues are extremely destructive for a creative. You're not alone.
So I’m pausing the video in the middle because it’s really resonating with me already. In 2021 I saved up a lot of money to quit my job and go full time art via Patreon and the first couple of months I went really hard then I burned out. I moved in with my gf that year too. However I became discouraged and never truly went back into really pushing myself and just rode the money I had saved up at the time until it ran out. I picked up a few commissions and got my old job back in 2022 but by then my mental health and relationship had fallen apart. We broke up in January in 2023. I haven’t recovered yet. Started drinking. Really haven’t touched art except some doodling. This past month I haven’t been drinking and I’m involved with a live figure drawing class now that I inherited running it because the woman who did run it suffered a injury and is recovering. So I am doing some things currently but my mental health isn’t there yet and I haven’t truly made art this year except one commission.
This was really solid advice. I didnt have fun when drawing, and I havent had fun for a long time. Now I dont draw at all, I didnt know why and kept beating myself up over it. I felt like I was lazy, even tho I was always working haha. Thanks for taking the time to make this! I wasnt going to quit, but it was definitely slipping from me.
Wow, Josh I’ve never had such a clear explanation of the little feeling self inside who doesn’t want to feel or hear all the things I’ve been telling myself about my art and self worth. I love how above all you’re talking about self compassion which I think is easier to access than self love. Thank you
Your video further confirmed what my intuition was trying to tell me several times. I had a very complicated childhood and adolescence due to extremely strict and critical parents and this directly impacted my adult life. When I was younger, I used to be highly intuitive and have fun drawing, but over time drawing became another way of punishing myself, even more so when the difficulties increased and I felt paralyzed in my artistic process, my intuition seemed to have completely silenced and it was almost like being "blind" inside, everything going "wrong" and a desperate search for evidence that would prove that there was something wrong with me when in reality the answer was very clear and clear in my face: "you are looking for external answers to your lack of compassion and disconnection with yourself and your intuition" Your video really opened my eyes, thank you very much
Thank you for this josh, As someone who's trying to do his best to deal with his anxiety and his aspirations for his own career this is something I definitely needed to hear.
I want to say thank you! I enjoyed watching you draw, and most importantly I enjoyed what you brought to light about negative patterns that are caused by the brain trying to protect you from getting hurt. You also are very right, it is much different to climb up and then not produce to meet expectations, the weight and shame from that can be even heavier. Overall sometimes I watch your videos and I can tell when I’m too depressed and envious to let your messages through and when I come back into the light and realize that I am not alone. Great work! And thank you once again!
Hey Josh, thanks for sharing this. Covid and lockdown hit me like a truck and sent me spiralling, health issues made me think and feel like I was dying, and I realised I was depressed - and that I had been suffering long before Covid. I'd fallen away from drawing and creating in general for a few years, and after a recent breakdown - because I felt stifled, stilted and useless - I picked up CSP and a galaxy tab S8 plus. I realised that I need to draw and create to release pressure - or something anyway, I'm not entirely sure - and after only 2 weeks, my soul feels lighter and brighter. I feel content again. Even if nobody sees what I make, the fact that I made it at all seems to help fight back against and loosen that knot inside me
Really needed to hear this. Especially about having compassion for yourself, outside your artist self too. It’s funny how often we like to beat ourselves up when it’s human nature to want to be loved. We should definitely start by giving that love to ourselves first. People often say to iron out one’s “defects” or “weaknesses”, but they are actually part of one’s self that can help them in their creative journey too, so long as it doesn’t cause harm to others. By being patient & having compassion for myself, I’ve had ideas in art that I never knew I could have & create. I still fall back into the rabbit hole to negative thoughts about what I create & who I am, but thankfully I can pull myself back up a little sooner than before. Thank you for making this art talk & for sharing your experiences with us so candidly. You’re amazing, Josh ☺️❤️
i started my art journey quite recently, after reading a book from jung about the symbolism of humans, and he described in fact the relationship of artist and mental health, i kind of forgot that speech who encouraged me for this path towards understanding, with all these exercises and structures, thank you for reminding me
This helped me so much. I always beat myself up when my art doesn’t look like the next person’s. I say things like “am I good enough?” “Why can’t my art look like theirs?” “Why i don’t have that many followers and likes like she does?” “Why can’t I get a lot of commissions like them?” And I realized, that’s tearing me down and it’s corrupting my mental health so much because my brain thinks numbers/likes/comments = self worth. And I realized, I don’t have to feel like that anymore even though the thought creeps up on me sometimes. I recently had a depressive episode thinking I’m not worth it and why do I keep trying if no one will acknowledge it. I’m getting better with my mental health and finally drawing things I’m proud of. I love myself more and more when I looked at the finished product and say “you did it, I’m proud of you” I still feel like this sometimes but, I’m getting better and better each day. And maybe one day I’ll get rid of this mindset and prosper. Because I learned my self worth isn’t numbers on a post but, my drive to become the best artist I can be. And I’m proud
Рік тому+3
thank you for this video. I'm not an artist (and believe me, I'll never be) but I do paint from time to time. And even me, who does this only as a hobby, feel everything you just said. And honestly, those are not simple things to let it out. It's hard to talk about ourselves and our insecurities, individualities and vulnerabilities. you're an amazing artist and I hope to keep seeing more and more from you, always. 💖
Thank you. This it’s resonating with me right now. I began the October challenge with ink. Most of all to improve my drawing skill and test another media and I find my self struggling with the time lack and emotional rollercoaster of the media and the comparative perspective and personal issues with this challenge. So my prerogative is to make it any way and in my one way. Regardless everything and everyone. No wants care anyway. And I win anyway because I’m doing it for my self. So thank you a tusen times for sharing this video blog. God bless you 🙏🏾☺️👌🏾
17:53 was an unexpected strike of reality. It's surprising how much of an impact makes to hear those words out loud instead of abiding in the back of our minds. I'm grateful for your insights, thanks for opening up like this and helping the people who struggle with this issue feel less alone.
Hi Josh, Thank you so much for this video and the insights you share in it. For me, as an artist who suffers from chronic depression, It was very relatable and helpful. Not only to see that there are others with these "broken" thought patterns, but also see your strategies you found, some of which I will try on myself. I wish you all the best on your future journey.
Art was the whole reason I got my PTSD diagnosis (even though C-PTSD isn't in the DSM-5 from personal experience I can say my PTSD leans more towards C-PTSD. A key indicator being emotional flashbacks). and was so proactive about getting it. I didn't realize I was going through post traumatic stress disorder and had childhood trauma until I started drawing. Then I had crippling emotional flashbacks from my childhood, and I literally was so paralyzed I couldn't draw at some points no matter how much I wanted to. Ever since I've started to be more proactive about my health my life has gotten so much better, and even better than I could have ever imagined as a child. And it's all because of art. I feel like art really speaks to some people and draws them in, like that famous quote "art is there to console the broken" by van gogh. I take that quote rather literally lol. I really like videos like this and I think people need to talk more openly about this kind of stuff. It can change lives.
I love your example of this small version of us! I had experienced that with soccer back than, everytime i was in abd mood i played so terrible and everytime i had joy and was in pure energy i had my best trainng sassions or games! Doing the thing you wanna d with love and joy is the best you can do, sketching and beeing creative was the way to forgot bad things and have a positive emoton for me since my childhood! Creativity was always my therapy!
Speaking from my recent experiences, while I have a lot of work to do with myself, I suddenly started to feel less bad about myself on average (likely because I started doing some daily routines to make it feel like I have control over myself and what I do with my day), and frankly I've just been a lot more productive on average compared to before. I even finally finished Med's Map after procrastinating on it constantly! I also feel like I'm more eager to actually study in general, since I'm not calling myself stupid over and over
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Josh! Art is a journey where we have to tend to out bodies and soul equally. You displayed your take wonderfully and I loved seeing the struggle in your drawing. It feels like art that is being shown nowadays is flawless from the get go which is never true. We struggle, we get frustrated, we want to quit. But we always come back to it still.
Josh, thank you so much for this video. I've been struggling so much lately with this eternal spiral of negativity and hearing your video gave me so much comfort ❤
thank you for this...truly. there were numerous times throughout this video that i literally paused and rewound because it felt so validating to know that there are other artists who are going through this too! the part where you talked about how it was one thing to have small beginnings but having another world of pain when you've tanked/missed after amassing a following was so real - so thank you for opening up about it! i couldn't exactly pinpoint why it's harder for me to post art/feel calm posting art now after reaching some personal milestones vs as a beginner who was just starting my account but this is exactly it. Thank you for your vulnerability and for being so honest because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who is struggling, even though logically I know that isn't the case. It's nice to know that the artists I admire understand what it can be like!!
7 mins in and I fully relate everything you said in this video from the self sabotage the auto Autoimmune disease, not being able to walk, avoiding asking for help and procrastination. Thank for this video. Really needed it right now thank you for sharing because it connected to me
Thanks for this conversation. I’ve always struggled with depression and the last 8ish years haven’t been able to draw like I use to. But I feel like I’m finally figuring out how to manage the depression and anxiety. I’ll still mourn the loss of progress I could have made during those years, but I want to paint and create again. Manifesting and being delusional have helped me a lot particularly in the last few years. But it’s a slow process.
dude. i have always been so upset that im bad at expressing myself. It is so frustrating. but hearing you say that there should be people like that made me cry a little. ive never thought about it that way💗
This one really hit hard. I've been making art my job for so long... it's hard to get out of the cycle. Loved listening to your experiences, advice, and perspective. Thank you
needed this thank you, the vfx freelance industry is a massive mess at the moment and feeling creative whilst trying to survive... the bit you said about drawing/creating when feeling bad and it doesn't work relates with me so much....having ADHD even makes it work.... feels like I'm loosing my entire 20 years of skills and starting from scratch.. Thanks.
I can definitely relate man. I've been drawing daily for the past 3 years, 6-12 hours, i only missed a few days due to vacation, holidays etc., and yet i still continued beating myself up for not being "good enough" yet, not drawing enough, not finishing pieces, you name it.... Even though i objectively have made massive progress i never really gave myself a pat on the back. Quite the opposite actually. I concluded my frustration or "bad art" was a result of art block or something like that and i just have to push through and continue grinding. Though there were a few moments where i really felt at peace with myself and these were the small timeframes where i really created pieces that were beyond me. Only recently i realized my mental state was the main component of my frustration and being controlled by my negative emotions actively made my art worse. Just realizing this has already helped a bit, but it will probably take a while to fully remove this mental blockage in order to stop me from sabotaging myself. And like you said, self-compassion is definitely one of the key components. :)
You don't know how much you've helped me. I was not in a really bad spot mentally but this video really helped me. I was listening to it while not wanting to draw and by the end of the video I found myself enjoying the illustration I've started. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and advice!
This video came out at the perfect time for me, Mental health has effected my art for 6 months now and for that full time I couldn't figure what was wrong with me. I was full of anger, sadness, and even jealousy I couldn't even pick up my sketchbook or pencil without feeling the full wrath of anxiety. I'm now slowing healing and this video really help me understand what I was going through and what it meant. Thank you for sharing this video 💖
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR FEELINGS & THOUGHTS JOSH!! ❤❤❤ It's been a while since I became affected by the "numbers/analytics". When I started I didn't care because my focus was my own growth as an artist & by drawing what I want BUT this year I just became conscious of it all of a sudden. I stem this from my fast growth last year! I feel like the "online growth" created "expectations" within me that put pressure on me in a way that it didn't before. After seriously struggling with it and family stuff for more than half of 2023, I'm now starting to feel again the love & happiness in making art that I want, earn from it and focus on my own growth and regaining that healthier relationship that I had with social media again. I feel like these kinds of feelings & thoughts come and go in any CREATIVE JOURNEY so we'll need to learn how to counter these feelings when they come from time to time. We can become stronger, it just takes a lot of hits to build strength 💪
this hits home, few months ago i was drawing daily trying to push anything then i just couldnt bring myself to do it, i built anxiety just to pick up my stylus because of the fears/feeling etc and i started to question why i even like it in first place but when i got back to it it just feels so right and reminded me how i love it so much, man i chose such a shit dream job for a depressed person D:
As someone with two invisible illnesses (Fibromyalgia and Depression/Anxiety) this resonated with me. Im currently really trying to put my focus into improving my art but when I have rough days, I notice the quality drops and I just....cant. You can see in my Facebook feed when Im having rough days because I wont post pictures Ive been working on or even just memes. I was recently gifted my first ipad and pencil and I took to it immediately. It helped with my physical pain and I was able to get through that bad flare up. Unfortunately, it was an older ipad and it didnt last long. After a good cry, I decided to go back to working on paper. It just hasnt been the same and with the weather changing, depression has become more and more prevalent. Im working on it daily and hope to get back into that creative mindset that I had found myself in just one month ago. Thank you for this video. I wish you strength and more good days than bad. Your art is incredible.
same here... it really affects yourself within... its pretty hard that no one understands you, even less support or just listens.. sad life exactly... like the people around me, they thought im drawing stuff coz i dont care about the world around me... i know being an artist it takes time or luck to be financially stable or settle with great future.. no matter i said myself that i dont care i dont mind whats destroying my will to fulfill my dream to be an artist, it drains my inner self even more 🥲 i know i might be a missing link after i lost my inspiration (my parents) but i need to try extra harder just to survive 😊
Me and my family have been through a lot this year losing someone close to us very suddenly. I've noticed I haven't been drawing as much as I wanted to lately which bothered me a lot bc the person who passed always believed that I could do anything with my art, that I can reach for the stars with my art, so it hurt a lot. I like that you break down all these things and its helping me look at my feelings and understanding them in a different light. I also like how the way you explain this doesn't just apply to artist, it applies to people who do other things too.
Good to see this topic being discussed. Drawing for for me kinda went together alongside mental health. After graduating I stopped drawing since I saw no more meaning in drawing. I thought that it does not cure diseases, does not prove or make a discovery in some scientific field, does not solve the big world problems. So why bother? Aside from not seeing any meaning in drawing I tried to check myself- perhaps I misunderstood myself since childhood, for many years, perhaps I was not even interested in drawing in the first place? Perhaps I lied to myself that I liked to draw just because it was a thing that I knew how to do, and never bothered to move to another thing? That said I picked back drawing after 5 or so years. Looking back I wasted my time not only on not drawing, but all the other things that I did not do nor learn. I'm still not sure if there's any reason in making art but honestly I do not mind it anymore. I am still not sure why but I do enjoy learning art and drawing. The only thing stopping me from drawing nowdays is my job or some other important matter. The excitement for drawing is simply uncontrollable and once again- I don't try to find any reason to draw anymore. Who cares. Its fun, its exciting, its calming, its making me think about things while drawing. Its a thing to do and a thing that I like so why look for any other reason? Kind of funny thing that the answer, or the lack of it was so simple. Once again this is some pre-sleep rambling so I likely messed this up, not even sure if this wall of text makes any sense. Have fun drawing.
I had almost the exact same lie to myself growing up! Sometimes you don't need a reason! Tends to clear up a lot of things in life. Thanks for your comment.
This was such a beautiful podcast to listen to. I resonated with everything that you said. We are our own worst enemies. I know I forget to just give myself a break every now and then. Thank you for making the content that you do.
I want to say that this video has helped me in a way that I never expected. I watched this video assuming that I'd come out a better sketcher. But it's changed my mindset as a musician. I've had a competition coming up that I've been practicing for months, but as the competition date creeps up, I've been feeling more and more waves of anxiety. I had lost joy in something that I loved doing. Last year, at competition, I had embarrassed myself to the degree that it was crippling my improvement now. I was afraid to play, to re-feel this fear that kept bubbling up. This video was like a wake up call. A reminder that my passion and growth and fun is more important than my fear of failure. This video is for artists. Not just for painters, or for sketchers, or for animators. It's for anyone connected to the struggle of improvement, the yearning for expression.
I liked your explanations of beating yourself up when you faile in doing some drawing. I rhink I was going trought this these past weeks and I was feeling really bad for not "drawing well"
Well, as somewhat since the start of the year I...Began and grew out of control spiral of self deprecation and leashing out against myself whenever I saw my partners or friends art (Either when they talk or I see it), going automatically to the usual "This part of my art is shit, I'm a shit artist, my art is shit, I will never grow neither in art nor social media, etc" I know how our brains can be really mean to us, our friend, partners and people who care about us. Rn I'm just collecting different answer that I got from different amazing artists and ppl who have struggled or that shared their point of view and saving them so when next time comes, I have it at hand to be able to challenge it and give me myself the opportunity to overcome it, the opportunity to change it and be kinder to myself. I...Really hope this is possible and I can make the change for better, cuz it really, really, really hurted my own self-steem severly, my grow, my motivation to draw and even do things normally. I hope I can grow again.
Thanks for everything you are sharing here, your work, your experience, your reflections on it all. I love your voice! Warm and soothing. Great speaking pace! (Confession: I will often double time speaking videos! But never yours!) What you had to say kept my attention throughout the whole video. I even teared up at times, as your words really resonated with me. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and compassion. Wishing you all the best!!!
Always loved your videos, but this one came at the exact time I needed it. I've been going through some very hard times and like...I am this video right now XD Thank you so much
I've tried so hard to improve my mental health but I feel trapped in such horrible circumstances that seems impossible to get out of. family issues, my mothers heavily debilitating mental and physical health that's too expensive to fix for a very low income family, my own mental health made worse by deep trauma and insecurities, I honestly don't know how to get better cause I'm not sure how it can unless i win the lottery or something. But i try to stay positive. I have so many things i want to do and stories to tell but it's so difficult to find the energy or motivation when everything feels so fucked. How do I undo 23 years of damage from a dysfunctional family. But maybe something will change
I think that I'm glad I discovered your channel as a beginner artist, it has helped guide me as well as other artists on UA-cam. Honestly, this isn't even related to the topic of the video but I was wondering if any other artists felt that they could spot "mistakes" in other people's art, even when they know that the other artist's level is way above theirs. Sometimes its just easy to tell when something is anatomically off with the proportions, but if that's the case, why is it so hard for me to see my own mistakes and proportionally inaccurate art...
Thank you for the authenticity in this video. It takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable, especially on the internet. This video found me at the right time. I just went through my own mental health crisis as an artist. At lot of the advice and speculation you gave was helpful in addressing my own bad habits. I really appreciate this video.
I just have to say your video is what I needed. I can't say I am an artist like you, but I want to tell you that I want to be as skilled as you. No lie, your video, I literally had to pause at 18:31 because you made me so emotional ...anything afterwards...
I started to really taking seriusly art a year and a half ago, i got into a concept art school and I got really into self learning before that. During this time i felt everything, from complete focus and determination to the most self destructive procrastination, periods of time where i jus wasn´t felling like drawing but forced myself sometimes just because i had to do my apointments other times just because of pure determination. What i found out about this periods of "burn out" or whatever you want to call them, is that are not something to be ashamed of or meaning you are weak, i think learning art is just like going to the gym, you can push your llimits and thats ok, but theres always a point you stop for the day, you go home and you rest, and thats the moment your gains add up, while you are resting after workout, you eat and gain energy back, thats the moment your muscles grow. Same goes for art, you practice, you make a new piece or some studies, then you rest and while you are doing whatever you like, desconected thats the moment that knowledge is addig up. The problem we have is we don´t see it like that, we think "I have to draw the most time possible everyday to learn more" as Josh said, we don´t take mental pain seriosly, we push further and further, but would you go beyond everyday while working out? That might end up on a painfull injury same goes for the mind, but mental pain is difusse thats why we don´t see it the same way, that doesn´t mean you are felling it, and you are getting fatigue. My advice, even tho i been a short time on the grind, is to take rests, don´t feel guilty for not drawing in days, in fact, take some free days a week to go do anything else, and don´t take the not drawing time as a not growing time, because believe me, your knowledge is adding up.
Surprisingly for me, but almost everything you talk about in this video now I see in myself. Over the past couple of years, I have started to draw less and less, although I have been working related to the industry. It seems to me that I chewed my brain so much in a fight with my ego that drawing has now become strongly associated with something so unpleasant and so compressing. The last time I drew half a year ago, and before that another half a year. I loved drawing very much and associated most of my life with it, and now it's 50-50 mixed with hatred... as a result, I do anything except drawing (even for myself) Thanks for the video, there is something to think about....
Have you noticed any changes in your mental health since COVID? How has it affected your art, or whatever you create?
I’ve been doing better nowadays
Yep, found my love for art again during the lockdown, been trying to heal emotionally, now for the past 3 weeks I've been having panic attacks according to my neurologist, just when I thought i was leaving all the depression behind, still, done all the check ups and it seems it's all mental now I have to see a therapist
It got better..and worse at the same time. I fell in love with art again over lockdown and learned alot. But at the same time I had to rebuild my sense of self after bombshells and crushing realizations. Im still learning how to deal with it and rebuild, got a job to support my wants but I gotta go back to therapy so there's that. Still trying to put my stuff back out there even with the little voice telling me no one sees it.
It’s actually thanks to Covid and the lockdown that I got my high school degree, this is when my mental health got a bit better
I’m happy I live in a household where health is important. I’ve been healthy since before and after COVID ♥️
"You may have been given a dire consequence for a failure without the opportunity to improve"
... isn't that just school? Would explain a lot about the mental health of students (and recovering students) ngl
You might be onto something
I think you are right :O
I love such conversations and talking openly about mental health and art struggles... art has always been a way to process and self soothe or escape from all the noise
physical health is a huge factor too. If youre eating bad and never exercise you wont have much energy and your mental health goes down the drain too. I know many people dont wanna hear this, especially because most of us are awkward shut in nerds but man we have to take care of us. If not for yourself do it for your art xd
As someone trying to grow on social media as an artist, I have let go of overfixating and overanalysing... it took some time to come to terms with things I can't control, but now I just try to focus on my art and it took a lot of weight off,,,
That's exactly my situation lol. I literally will say to myself out-loud sometimes - "hey...that can wait", or , "it doesn't have to be perfect right now"
Really glad you're finding a way of gentleness with yourself. (:
I have chronic health issues and lately I’ve been buying myself a lollipop every time I go to the hospital. It’s made me feel a little less resentful towards my body. Like it’s not working at 100% but it’s WORKING! It’s still allowing my brain and heart to function. I have all limbs. Sure I’m in pain and life sucks sometimes but I have a lollipop and for the 20-40 mins I’m eating it, I just think about how nice the lollipop is. People laugh at me but are miserable coming out of that hospital. I’m not. I enjoy my hospital days. I get a meal at a cafe I love and get some cake to have at home for the next few days. I think rewarding yourself for such “basic” and “adult” tasks is something that everyone ridicules but no one actually realises it works wonders. If I wake up and get out of bed when my alarm goes, I listen to my favourite song and dance while feeding my cats. If I journal for that day or meditate, I make myself a snack I love. On my work breaks, I watch an episode of anime or read a web toon. I have horrible mental health but it’s literally made the difference between suicidal and not. When I do art, if something isn’t working and it’s stressing me out, I will stop and start tracing references for fun to figure out the shapes of these really acrobatic poses. It’s fun to me and then when I go back to my own work, I’m not angry anymore. I can work without being scared it won’t work cause just like the tracing, I can go back to the basics like using triangles, circles and rectangles to get what I want. I’m doing a piece with like a million hands and it’s stressing me out because hands are hard when they are in an awkward position where the fingers are squashed and I had to legit take a pic of my hand and trace it for 5 mins to figure out MY WHOLE INITIAL SHAPE WAS WRONG! I drew a triangle base but it was a rectangle base! Sometimes we get so caught up in making things so complex and hard to prove out worth, we forget we have basics to fall back on. Anatomy is just shapes put together. All art is just lines on a page, sometimes just dots. And even then, if I get frustrated, I go do something I love and praise myself for even ATTEMPTING it. I don’t praise success, I praise EFFORT. It’s been a game changer. Praising success will always be outside validation. Praising effort is all internal. Only YOU can see your effort. It’s one of the things I’ll be taking into the new year. I hope everyone learns that mistakes are good and help you learn. If you make no mistakes, you never learn. There’s this apple pie where the apples are in the tin without any pastry under it and has pastry on top. It was made by mistake. If the bakers didn’t go through with it and allow it to be baked, we wouldn’t have that delicious apple pie. Sometimes, mistakes help us step out of our habits and routines and help us grow and develop. Utilise it!
"I was dimly-lit in every area of my life" -- man that speaks to me
This is such an important message, especially after the collective trauma of the pandemic. Therapy was the best thing I did for my art since getting a drawing tablet. I believed I was a fundamentally terrible person for nearly half my life, and every time my art didn't get immense praise or attention I saw it as confirmation of my worthlessness as a person. And I'm not 100% better right now but...now that I'm learning to love, trust, and understand who I am, I've become so much more invested in my own artistic growth and success. I wish I could tell that young lady in high school that she would go on to do so much good, make so many valuable friends, and make art she could be genuinely proud of. Tysm for this reminder to stay strong in the face of our debilitating issues, you're a blessing to this community Josh 💖
Honestly. I think a lot of artists have to rewatch it on weekly basis. All you say is absolute truth, I experienced it myself. Thank you
I can't exaggerate how much I needed this all this time. Every time I feel like failing I felt that something was wring with me and it's a personal failure as an artist.
I didn't draw for 4 months and picking the pen now feels like a tremendous struggle.
I just started my first therapy and made tiny improvements but I still beat myself down and choke my ideas and something i get excited about.
I really, really needed this right now. Cried when you described the reaction of inner child towards self beating
It also gave me so much hope that I can work with my brain wounds and really improve as an artist, thank you so much
I’m so happy to hear this encouraged you!
I can heavily relate to this.
I spent five years (FIVE YEARS!!) on this app that you can do pixel art on. I loved it! I learned so many new tricks and improved a lot along the way. It is where i garnered my first "big" following, and i enjoyed it. However, as the years went on and my mental health declined, i found myself comparing myself to other artists, on and off the app. It only made my view of my art worse and i ended up starting to draw when i felt bad. I created an alt account where i posted vent art, which initially i thought was a good idea! I could practice art and get my feelings on a canvas, whats not to love? Then i accidentally trained my brain into thinking, "Hey, whenever we feel bad we make art that reflects our bad emotions, so every time we feel bad lets make art that makes us feel bad every time we look at it." I ended hating the process of drawing so much after that and considered going on a hiatus of making art for months or even years until i magically started enjoying drawing again. Over this last summer i was off of that app and went back to traditional. Oh my goodness, not only did i improve so much not drawing for the sake of other people seeing it, but i started to enjoy the process again! When i went back to the app i made a post about me officially leaving and though me and many others were sad, it felt so freeing! I no longer had to look at a canvas and see the dark and dreary colors, and crying characters, or whatever else. I was finally able to let myself be free in enjoying my art. My mental health has also improved drastically since the beginning of the summer until now, and this is even the best mindset ive ever been in in my entire life. I still struggle with depression cause it never goes away, but changing my mindset was only important to my personal growth, but integral to my growth as an artist! And you were completely right, being stuck in a rut can ABSOLUTELY set you back YEARS worth of growth, it is actually insane. That is also one of the main reasons ive stopped doing pixel art now because it's just not my medium and wasnt helping me improve in the aspects that needed the mist improvement. Ive followed you because youve always kept it real, and i appreciate you for that. Thank you for making this video.
Wow that bit about how you feel bad from looking at the art you made in that place is really interesting. I really appreciate your comment as well, I'm glad to know you have come to a better place with your relationship to your work!
Recently I've been overwhelmed by these ideas that seem to be prevelent in the art world that you must create EVERY day and constantly be on the hustle - OR you won't make it, you won't be successful, you are not a real artist, and you don't want it enough.
It's been devastating to be hearing this messaging constantly. I can't create every day. In fact I've spent years not creating. I do not understand the lack of compassion in this narrative, but because I could not always adequately explain WHY i could not create, it felt like maybe it was true.
I KNEW it wasn't. But it was easy to feel alone.
Thank you ergojosh for your vulnerability and encouragement. 💜I feel more at home inside my skin.
I’ve always identified with the connection, creativity is a direct link to God, and the result of being exposed to that level of divinity and pure ethos is a kin to the madness a human would experience being all knowing and omnipotent/omnipresent. Our capacity to create is an outlet of that creative energy linking to us. I always told people my drawing is more of a need than a want. If I don’t do it I feel sick and overwhelmed.
i really appreciate this message since ive always felt this pressure in the online art community (weather or not its intentional) to never heal from mental health issues because if you do there's some sense that youll loose your creativity. and boy howdy do i have a lot of them.
damn man, some hard truths in there, some of which i was like dayum that exactly how it feels. loosing decades of skill when not mentally prepped for drawing is insanely true.
Josh, I truly appreciate your insight into this matter of Mental health.
I am not alone, You are not alone, We are not alone.
Looking forward to more of you, love you!
You have vocalized my exact struggle and thought process. Its so nice finally hearing from someone who understands and doesn't trivialize this issue. I now know how to get started on this journey. Thank you. Thank you.
Happy to help!
I can relate, I've been trying to build a following on youtube and the slow growth sometimes makes me question my skills and makes me wonder if I should've spent more time learning a different skill, glad you're in a better place now :)
Thank you. I can say for sure that those external things are definitely not a reflection of the value of whatever you are sharing!
I felt the same way, but with Instagram. It’s often a struggle to keep up with the trends & honestly more often than not, they’re nonsensical. You do you & never let a number on a screen define your worth ❤️
I’m feeling this, I’ve started posting across different platforms and it really feels like shouting into the void sometimes : ( I know it’s a slow process, but with the state a lot of platforms are in rn with the algorithms and such, I’ve been wondering if it’s too late to try and establish a following from scratch, I’ll give you a follow at least to help your channel grow! : )
You one of my favorite dudes, I love deeper thought and art talks sm and your voice is so calm
Wishing blessings and healing to everyone here.
Excellent video Josh, a reminder everyone needed
You too.
This one was personal.. But thank you for that. My ego was completely destroyed by time because of years of not being taken seriously, heard and taught that I am younger, weaker, dumber...
I suffer from mental problems these days and I have hard times not literally hating myself sometimes. The brain and mental health are real.
For an artist with a traumatic brain injury, this has really resonated with me. I can relate to a lot of what you spoke of here. It's been over 15 years now since my brain injury accident, and I've really grown and improved over these years. It's been a long, hard road, but it's been worth every minute, both bad and good, because of my love of art.
I thought I could run away from my self-esteem issues with landing an art-related job. Well, it helped - but not in a way I thought. I was still struggling, but it pushed me to make the right decisions to take care of my mental health.
Your video resonated with me, because I had similar struggles with that abandoned little kid that needed some encouragement and space to wander freely with their tiny set of crayons, away from judgement of professional world. I shoud be good to go in few weeks, and I feel the difference in a way I approach my personal art.
To the rest of you out there: take care of yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for help.
When you mentioned hugging yourself and kissing your hand, I started tearing up. This video was exactly what I needed and I’m really glad I found it. Thank you so so much ❤
I really appreciated this video. By continuing to use the intuitive part of my brain rather than ego I can now see myself more compassionately.
It'd been a while since you posted that I nearly forgot your channel was up!
Thank you for the lesson and thank you for being authentic with us about mental health.
Ayyy I noticed your using hi paint, I have been learning hi paint recently, it's a relief that a professional like you also uses apps like these
Thank you!!! This is so true too! I moved away for a a couple years for school and was miserable. I barely created anything art or otherwise when I would usually be bursting with ideas weekly if not daily. The same month I came back home, I did more creative things in those four weeks than I had in those two YEARS. Be healthy, artists! Illnesses and suffering aren’t ACTUALLY the GENUINE source of inspiration - YOU ARE!! ❤️
this was like hanging out with your best friend while drawing together. Thanks man, I appreciate you a lot.
Listening to Ergojosh while drawing is always somehow so calming to me
thanks god you appeared in my home page. Your words literally saved my life. Thanks you.
I'm just breaking out of a two-year battle with depression right now. I did absolutely nothing for two years. The only energy I had was to get out of bed for work, and even that was suspect. Mental health issues are extremely destructive for a creative. You're not alone.
I woke up this morning and UA-cam algorithm suggested this video, and i literally cried. Thank you for this. I needed this.
So I’m pausing the video in the middle because it’s really resonating with me already. In 2021 I saved up a lot of money to quit my job and go full time art via Patreon and the first couple of months I went really hard then I burned out. I moved in with my gf that year too. However I became discouraged and never truly went back into really pushing myself and just rode the money I had saved up at the time until it ran out. I picked up a few commissions and got my old job back in 2022 but by then my mental health and relationship had fallen apart. We broke up in January in 2023. I haven’t recovered yet. Started drinking. Really haven’t touched art except some doodling. This past month I haven’t been drinking and I’m involved with a live figure drawing class now that I inherited running it because the woman who did run it suffered a injury and is recovering. So I am doing some things currently but my mental health isn’t there yet and I haven’t truly made art this year except one commission.
This was really solid advice. I didnt have fun when drawing, and I havent had fun for a long time. Now I dont draw at all, I didnt know why and kept beating myself up over it. I felt like I was lazy, even tho I was always working haha. Thanks for taking the time to make this! I wasnt going to quit, but it was definitely slipping from me.
Wow, Josh I’ve never had such a clear explanation of the little feeling self inside who doesn’t want to feel or hear all the things I’ve been telling myself about my art and self worth. I love how above all you’re talking about self compassion which I think is easier to access than self love. Thank you
Your video further confirmed what my intuition was trying to tell me several times. I had a very complicated childhood and adolescence due to extremely strict and critical parents and this directly impacted my adult life. When I was younger, I used to be highly intuitive and have fun drawing, but over time drawing became another way of punishing myself, even more so when the difficulties increased and I felt paralyzed in my artistic process, my intuition seemed to have completely silenced and it was almost like being "blind" inside, everything going "wrong" and a desperate search for evidence that would prove that there was something wrong with me when in reality the answer was very clear and clear in my face: "you are looking for external answers to your lack of compassion and disconnection with yourself and your intuition"
Your video really opened my eyes, thank you very much
Thank you for this josh, As someone who's trying to do his best to deal with his anxiety and his aspirations for his own career this is something I definitely needed to hear.
I want to say thank you! I enjoyed watching you draw, and most importantly I enjoyed what you brought to light about negative patterns that are caused by the brain trying to protect you from getting hurt. You also are very right, it is much different to climb up and then not produce to meet expectations, the weight and shame from that can be even heavier. Overall sometimes I watch your videos and I can tell when I’m too depressed and envious to let your messages through and when I come back into the light and realize that I am not alone. Great work! And thank you once again!
Hey Josh, thanks for sharing this. Covid and lockdown hit me like a truck and sent me spiralling, health issues made me think and feel like I was dying, and I realised I was depressed - and that I had been suffering long before Covid.
I'd fallen away from drawing and creating in general for a few years, and after a recent breakdown - because I felt stifled, stilted and useless - I picked up CSP and a galaxy tab S8 plus. I realised that I need to draw and create to release pressure - or something anyway, I'm not entirely sure - and after only 2 weeks, my soul feels lighter and brighter. I feel content again. Even if nobody sees what I make, the fact that I made it at all seems to help fight back against and loosen that knot inside me
That's awesome to hear! I'm glad you were able to discover that.
Thank you - it feels like a huge weight has been lifted
Really needed to hear this. Especially about having compassion for yourself, outside your artist self too. It’s funny how often we like to beat ourselves up when it’s human nature to want to be loved. We should definitely start by giving that love to ourselves first. People often say to iron out one’s “defects” or “weaknesses”, but they are actually part of one’s self that can help them in their creative journey too, so long as it doesn’t cause harm to others. By being patient & having compassion for myself, I’ve had ideas in art that I never knew I could have & create. I still fall back into the rabbit hole to negative thoughts about what I create & who I am, but thankfully I can pull myself back up a little sooner than before. Thank you for making this art talk & for sharing your experiences with us so candidly. You’re amazing, Josh ☺️❤️
I love this video.
i started my art journey quite recently, after reading a book from jung about the symbolism of humans, and he described in fact the relationship of artist and mental health, i kind of forgot that speech who encouraged me for this path towards understanding, with all these exercises and structures, thank you for reminding me
Happy to do so!
Hi everyone ! I just wanted to share love with you. believe in yourself and thanks Josh for delevering that message ! From a fench artist
Fine Arts student here, trulyyyyy needed to hear this today xx
This helped me so much. I always beat myself up when my art doesn’t look like the next person’s. I say things like
“am I good enough?”
“Why can’t my art look like theirs?”
“Why i don’t have that many followers and likes like she does?”
“Why can’t I get a lot of commissions like them?”
And I realized, that’s tearing me down and it’s corrupting my mental health so much because my brain thinks numbers/likes/comments = self worth. And I realized, I don’t have to feel like that anymore even though the thought creeps up on me sometimes. I recently had a depressive episode thinking I’m not worth it and why do I keep trying if no one will acknowledge it.
I’m getting better with my mental health and finally drawing things I’m proud of. I love myself more and more when I looked at the finished product and say “you did it, I’m proud of you”
I still feel like this sometimes but, I’m getting better and better each day. And maybe one day I’ll get rid of this mindset and prosper. Because I learned my self worth isn’t numbers on a post but, my drive to become the best artist I can be. And I’m proud
thank you for this video. I'm not an artist (and believe me, I'll never be) but I do paint from time to time. And even me, who does this only as a hobby, feel everything you just said. And honestly, those are not simple things to let it out. It's hard to talk about ourselves and our insecurities, individualities and vulnerabilities. you're an amazing artist and I hope to keep seeing more and more from you, always. 💖
Thank you. This it’s resonating with me right now. I began the October challenge with ink. Most of all to improve my drawing skill and test another media and I find my self struggling with the time lack and emotional rollercoaster of the media and the comparative perspective and personal issues with this challenge. So my prerogative is to make it any way and in my one way. Regardless everything and everyone. No wants care anyway. And I win anyway because I’m doing it for my self. So thank you a tusen times for sharing this video blog. God bless you 🙏🏾☺️👌🏾
thank you, as an amateur it is stressful when facing artblock and seeing other people arts are better than mine
I wish I saw this sooner. It just now popped into my youtube feed. I'm glad I ran across this post now. Thank you for this I needed to hear it.
This is me. The stress from outside and just others have put me down I didn't feel right or inspired. My art and all things.
Thank you for videos like these Ergo Josh. Biggest help. greetings from the other side of the world, the Philippines.
17:53 was an unexpected strike of reality. It's surprising how much of an impact makes to hear those words out loud instead of abiding in the back of our minds. I'm grateful for your insights, thanks for opening up like this and helping the people who struggle with this issue feel less alone.
Hi Josh,
Thank you so much for this video and the insights you share in it. For me, as an artist who suffers from chronic depression, It was very relatable and helpful. Not only to see that there are others with these "broken" thought patterns, but also see your strategies you found, some of which I will try on myself. I wish you all the best on your future journey.
I respect the realness of how you showed up in this video
Art was the whole reason I got my PTSD diagnosis (even though C-PTSD isn't in the DSM-5 from personal experience I can say my PTSD leans more towards C-PTSD. A key indicator being emotional flashbacks). and was so proactive about getting it. I didn't realize I was going through post traumatic stress disorder and had childhood trauma until I started drawing. Then I had crippling emotional flashbacks from my childhood, and I literally was so paralyzed I couldn't draw at some points no matter how much I wanted to. Ever since I've started to be more proactive about my health my life has gotten so much better, and even better than I could have ever imagined as a child. And it's all because of art. I feel like art really speaks to some people and draws them in, like that famous quote "art is there to console the broken" by van gogh. I take that quote rather literally lol. I really like videos like this and I think people need to talk more openly about this kind of stuff. It can change lives.
I love your example of this small version of us! I had experienced that with soccer back than, everytime i was in abd mood i played so terrible and everytime i had joy and was in pure energy i had my best trainng sassions or games! Doing the thing you wanna d with love and joy is the best you can do, sketching and beeing creative was the way to forgot bad things and have a positive emoton for me since my childhood! Creativity was always my therapy!
I am grateful for you ErgoJosh. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Listening to this while drawing in Photoshop and I'm glad I tuned in bc it made me realize a few things about my own mental health .. Thanks
Speaking from my recent experiences, while I have a lot of work to do with myself, I suddenly started to feel less bad about myself on average (likely because I started doing some daily routines to make it feel like I have control over myself and what I do with my day), and frankly I've just been a lot more productive on average compared to before. I even finally finished Med's Map after procrastinating on it constantly! I also feel like I'm more eager to actually study in general, since I'm not calling myself stupid over and over
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Josh!
Art is a journey where we have to tend to out bodies and soul equally. You displayed your take wonderfully and I loved seeing the struggle in your drawing. It feels like art that is being shown nowadays is flawless from the get go which is never true. We struggle, we get frustrated, we want to quit. But we always come back to it still.
Thanks for your comment! I agree, it isn't easy but it's important to share the struggles we have sometimes.
This video is a blessing. Thank you
Josh, thank you so much for this video. I've been struggling so much lately with this eternal spiral of negativity and hearing your video gave me so much comfort ❤
thank you for this...truly. there were numerous times throughout this video that i literally paused and rewound because it felt so validating to know that there are other artists who are going through this too! the part where you talked about how it was one thing to have small beginnings but having another world of pain when you've tanked/missed after amassing a following was so real - so thank you for opening up about it! i couldn't exactly pinpoint why it's harder for me to post art/feel calm posting art now after reaching some personal milestones vs as a beginner who was just starting my account but this is exactly it. Thank you for your vulnerability and for being so honest because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who is struggling, even though logically I know that isn't the case. It's nice to know that the artists I admire understand what it can be like!!
7 mins in and I fully relate everything you said in this video from the self sabotage the auto Autoimmune disease, not being able to walk, avoiding asking for help and procrastination. Thank for this video. Really needed it right now thank you for sharing because it connected to me
Thanks for this conversation. I’ve always struggled with depression and the last 8ish years haven’t been able to draw like I use to. But I feel like I’m finally figuring out how to manage the depression and anxiety. I’ll still mourn the loss of progress I could have made during those years, but I want to paint and create again.
Manifesting and being delusional have helped me a lot particularly in the last few years. But it’s a slow process.
dude. i have always been so upset that im bad at expressing myself. It is so frustrating. but hearing you say that there should be people like that made me cry a little. ive never thought about it that way💗
This one really hit hard. I've been making art my job for so long... it's hard to get out of the cycle. Loved listening to your experiences, advice, and perspective. Thank you
needed this thank you, the vfx freelance industry is a massive mess at the moment and feeling creative whilst trying to survive...
the bit you said about drawing/creating when feeling bad and it doesn't work relates with me so much....having ADHD even makes it work.... feels like I'm loosing my entire 20 years of skills and starting from scratch..
Thanks.
Great video Josh. Very informative and definitely resonates with me. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your experience as well.
I can definitely relate man.
I've been drawing daily for the past 3 years, 6-12 hours, i only missed a few days due to vacation, holidays etc., and yet i still continued beating myself up for not being "good enough" yet, not drawing enough, not finishing pieces, you name it.... Even though i objectively have made massive progress i never really gave myself a pat on the back. Quite the opposite actually. I concluded my frustration or "bad art" was a result of art block or something like that and i just have to push through and continue grinding. Though there were a few moments where i really felt at peace with myself and these were the small timeframes where i really created pieces that were beyond me. Only recently i realized my mental state was the main component of my frustration and being controlled by my negative emotions actively made my art worse. Just realizing this has already helped a bit, but it will probably take a while to fully remove this mental blockage in order to stop me from sabotaging myself. And like you said, self-compassion is definitely one of the key components. :)
In short, this video was incredibly eye opening and inspiring. Thank you.
You don't know how much you've helped me. I was not in a really bad spot mentally but this video really helped me. I was listening to it while not wanting to draw and by the end of the video I found myself enjoying the illustration I've started. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and advice!
This video came out at the perfect time for me, Mental health has effected my art for 6 months now and for that full time I couldn't figure what was wrong with me. I was full of anger, sadness, and even jealousy I couldn't even pick up my sketchbook or pencil without feeling the full wrath of anxiety. I'm now slowing healing and this video really help me understand what I was going through and what it meant. Thank you for sharing this video 💖
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR FEELINGS & THOUGHTS JOSH!! ❤❤❤
It's been a while since I became affected by the "numbers/analytics". When I started I didn't care because my focus was my own growth as an artist & by drawing what I want BUT this year I just became conscious of it all of a sudden. I stem this from my fast growth last year! I feel like the "online growth" created "expectations" within me that put pressure on me in a way that it didn't before. After seriously struggling with it and family stuff for more than half of 2023, I'm now starting to feel again the love & happiness in making art that I want, earn from it and focus on my own growth and regaining that healthier relationship that I had with social media again.
I feel like these kinds of feelings & thoughts come and go in any CREATIVE JOURNEY so we'll need to learn how to counter these feelings when they come from time to time. We can become stronger, it just takes a lot of hits to build strength 💪
this hits home, few months ago i was drawing daily trying to push anything then i just couldnt bring myself to do it, i built anxiety just to pick up my stylus because of the fears/feeling etc and i started to question why i even like it in first place but when i got back to it it just feels so right and reminded me how i love it so much, man i chose such a shit dream job for a depressed person D:
As someone with two invisible illnesses (Fibromyalgia and Depression/Anxiety) this resonated with me. Im currently really trying to put my focus into improving my art but when I have rough days, I notice the quality drops and I just....cant. You can see in my Facebook feed when Im having rough days because I wont post pictures Ive been working on or even just memes. I was recently gifted my first ipad and pencil and I took to it immediately. It helped with my physical pain and I was able to get through that bad flare up. Unfortunately, it was an older ipad and it didnt last long. After a good cry, I decided to go back to working on paper. It just hasnt been the same and with the weather changing, depression has become more and more prevalent. Im working on it daily and hope to get back into that creative mindset that I had found myself in just one month ago. Thank you for this video. I wish you strength and more good days than bad. Your art is incredible.
same here... it really affects yourself within... its pretty hard that no one understands you, even less support or just listens.. sad life exactly... like the people around me, they thought im drawing stuff coz i dont care about the world around me... i know being an artist it takes time or luck to be financially stable or settle with great future.. no matter i said myself that i dont care i dont mind whats destroying my will to fulfill my dream to be an artist, it drains my inner self even more 🥲 i know i might be a missing link after i lost my inspiration (my parents) but i need to try extra harder just to survive 😊
Thank you for sharing - it means more to me then I can say.
Me and my family have been through a lot this year losing someone close to us very suddenly. I've noticed I haven't been drawing as much as I wanted to lately which bothered me a lot bc the person who passed always believed that I could do anything with my art, that I can reach for the stars with my art, so it hurt a lot. I like that you break down all these things and its helping me look at my feelings and understanding them in a different light. I also like how the way you explain this doesn't just apply to artist, it applies to people who do other things too.
Thank you for this Josh. I really needed a listen in this topic.
Good to see this topic being discussed.
Drawing for for me kinda went together alongside mental health.
After graduating I stopped drawing since I saw no more meaning in drawing. I thought that it does not cure diseases, does not prove or make a discovery in some scientific field, does not solve the big world problems. So why bother?
Aside from not seeing any meaning in drawing I tried to check myself- perhaps I misunderstood myself since childhood, for many years, perhaps I was not even interested in drawing in the first place? Perhaps I lied to myself that I liked to draw just because it was a thing that I knew how to do, and never bothered to move to another thing?
That said I picked back drawing after 5 or so years. Looking back I wasted my time not only on not drawing, but all the other things that I did not do nor learn. I'm still not sure if there's any reason in making art but honestly I do not mind it anymore. I am still not sure why but I do enjoy learning art and drawing.
The only thing stopping me from drawing nowdays is my job or some other important matter. The excitement for drawing is simply uncontrollable and once again- I don't try to find any reason to draw anymore. Who cares. Its fun, its exciting, its calming, its making me think about things while drawing. Its a thing to do and a thing that I like so why look for any other reason? Kind of funny thing that the answer, or the lack of it was so simple. Once again this is some pre-sleep rambling so I likely messed this up, not even sure if this wall of text makes any sense. Have fun drawing.
I had almost the exact same lie to myself growing up! Sometimes you don't need a reason! Tends to clear up a lot of things in life. Thanks for your comment.
This was such a beautiful podcast to listen to. I resonated with everything that you said. We are our own worst enemies. I know I forget to just give myself a break every now and then. Thank you for making the content that you do.
I want to say that this video has helped me in a way that I never expected.
I watched this video assuming that I'd come out a better sketcher. But it's changed my mindset as a musician. I've had a competition coming up that I've been practicing for months, but as the competition date creeps up, I've been feeling more and more waves of anxiety. I had lost joy in something that I loved doing. Last year, at competition, I had embarrassed myself to the degree that it was crippling my improvement now. I was afraid to play, to re-feel this fear that kept bubbling up. This video was like a wake up call. A reminder that my passion and growth and fun is more important than my fear of failure.
This video is for artists. Not just for painters, or for sketchers, or for animators. It's for anyone connected to the struggle of improvement, the yearning for expression.
Thank you for being so brave and sharing! I’m really sorry that you’ve been struggling, keep up the good fight!
Such great commentary. Thank you for sharing
I liked your explanations of beating yourself up when you faile in doing some drawing. I rhink I was going trought this these past weeks and I was feeling really bad for not "drawing well"
Well, as somewhat since the start of the year I...Began and grew out of control spiral of self deprecation and leashing out against myself whenever I saw my partners or friends art (Either when they talk or I see it), going automatically to the usual "This part of my art is shit, I'm a shit artist, my art is shit, I will never grow neither in art nor social media, etc" I know how our brains can be really mean to us, our friend, partners and people who care about us. Rn I'm just collecting different answer that I got from different amazing artists and ppl who have struggled or that shared their point of view and saving them so when next time comes, I have it at hand to be able to challenge it and give me myself the opportunity to overcome it, the opportunity to change it and be kinder to myself. I...Really hope this is possible and I can make the change for better, cuz it really, really, really hurted my own self-steem severly, my grow, my motivation to draw and even do things normally. I hope I can grow again.
Thanks for everything you are sharing here, your work, your experience, your reflections on it all. I love your voice! Warm and soothing. Great speaking pace! (Confession: I will often double time speaking videos! But never yours!) What you had to say kept my attention throughout the whole video. I even teared up at times, as your words really resonated with me. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and compassion. Wishing you all the best!!!
Wow, thank you!
Always loved your videos, but this one came at the exact time I needed it. I've been going through some very hard times and like...I am this video right now XD Thank you so much
Thank you for this
I've tried so hard to improve my mental health but I feel trapped in such horrible circumstances that seems impossible to get out of. family issues, my mothers heavily debilitating mental and physical health that's too expensive to fix for a very low income family, my own mental health made worse by deep trauma and insecurities, I honestly don't know how to get better cause I'm not sure how it can unless i win the lottery or something. But i try to stay positive. I have so many things i want to do and stories to tell but it's so difficult to find the energy or motivation when everything feels so fucked. How do I undo 23 years of damage from a dysfunctional family. But maybe something will change
I think that I'm glad I discovered your channel as a beginner artist, it has helped guide me as well as other artists on UA-cam. Honestly, this isn't even related to the topic of the video but I was wondering if any other artists felt that they could spot "mistakes" in other people's art, even when they know that the other artist's level is way above theirs. Sometimes its just easy to tell when something is anatomically off with the proportions, but if that's the case, why is it so hard for me to see my own mistakes and proportionally inaccurate art...
Thank you so much Josh. I needed this
Thank you for the authenticity in this video. It takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable, especially on the internet. This video found me at the right time. I just went through my own mental health crisis as an artist. At lot of the advice and speculation you gave was helpful in addressing my own bad habits. I really appreciate this video.
I just have to say your video is what I needed. I can't say I am an artist like you, but I want to tell you that I want to be as skilled as you. No lie, your video, I literally had to pause at 18:31 because you made me so emotional ...anything afterwards...
I loved this video so much Josh! Thank you for being open and vulnerable, it made me feel a lot less alone in these thoughts.
Just the first 7 minutes of this hit me real hard damn...
I started to really taking seriusly art a year and a half ago, i got into a concept art school and I got really into self learning before that.
During this time i felt everything, from complete focus and determination to the most self destructive procrastination, periods of time where i jus wasn´t felling like drawing but forced myself sometimes just because i had to do my apointments other times just because of pure determination.
What i found out about this periods of "burn out" or whatever you want to call them, is that are not something to be ashamed of or meaning you are weak, i think learning art is just like going to the gym, you can push your llimits and thats ok, but theres always a point you stop for the day, you go home and you rest, and thats the moment your gains add up, while you are resting after workout, you eat and gain energy back, thats the moment your muscles grow.
Same goes for art, you practice, you make a new piece or some studies, then you rest and while you are doing whatever you like, desconected thats the moment that knowledge is addig up. The problem we have is we don´t see it like that, we think "I have to draw the most time possible everyday to learn more" as Josh said, we don´t take mental pain seriosly, we push further and further, but would you go beyond everyday while working out? That might end up on a painfull injury same goes for the mind, but mental pain is difusse thats why we don´t see it the same way, that doesn´t mean you are felling it, and you are getting fatigue.
My advice, even tho i been a short time on the grind, is to take rests, don´t feel guilty for not drawing in days, in fact, take some free days a week to go do anything else, and don´t take the not drawing time as a not growing time, because believe me, your knowledge is adding up.
Surprisingly for me, but almost everything you talk about in this video now I see in myself.
Over the past couple of years, I have started to draw less and less, although I have been working related to the industry. It seems to me that I chewed my brain so much in a fight with my ego that drawing has now become strongly associated with something so unpleasant and so compressing. The last time I drew half a year ago, and before that another half a year. I loved drawing very much and associated most of my life with it, and now it's 50-50 mixed with hatred... as a result, I do anything except drawing (even for myself)
Thanks for the video, there is something to think about....
this is gold, Thank you.