Portuguese Irishmen? Spanish Frenchmen? Pacifist Mongols? Russians defeated in winter? And a female Pope? Jon must be playing the Medieval II: Total Lunacy Mod
My fellow Danes, I have bittersweet news. Karl Bengtson, the man who courageously rebelled against King Skapti, has been killed in the woods of Yorkshire. With his capture, Europe can sleep safe knowing Scot rebels are no longer at our doorstep, however, we must also accept the death of one of the greatest Danes to ever live. Yes, I have always had this mustache.
Captain Hardeknud A Mhuire, Máthair Dé! Please tell me that you are the Once and Future King, Ó Karl! Carolus Rex Denmarki! *curls up into a prostrate position and begins praying silently in Latin*
It very much is a magnificent facial hair Captain Hardeknud, the Kingdom of Denmark is surely lesser for the loss of a great man but he stuck to his guns and we can only respect such manliness. Now if the Mongols would just die of old age. How many years has that Mongol Bumble (TM) been going on for now?
The Pope: "*Cough...* Attack the... *Wheeze...* Danish Infidels at... *Hack...* Genoa... Make them suffer... *Coughs up a lung* 5 minutes later New Pope: "Yeah um, cancel that thanks."
Karl (Blessed be his name) Jones Indeed my brother! Our saviour has transcended the mortal coil, ascended from such needs as to join the Kingdom of Denmark. He instead has chosen to sacrifice his life so that all Danish citizens named Karl (Blessed be his name) will become heroes in the annals of history!
good afternoon ladies and gentleman im Jon this is many a true nerd and welcome back to slaughter and conquer simulator 2006, in the last episode we literally executed the king of Hungary and continued on with our ruthless imperialism
Jon here's a guide on how to make Egypt your vassal: take all settlements surrounding their region keep besieging and unseiging their city and asking them for vassalage for about some turns and voila!
There's been an earthquake or flash flood in Toledo. That's the reason why you cannot move as fast as normal. It effects every army and agents movement in this region.
imagine the mongols never invaded Jon's lands and all those armies standing by and investment in defences and not expanding that front as much (letting Egypt live for example) was all for nothing
Scott Elder its very unlikely for the mongols to miss jon entirely at this point tbh, unless they want to sit and do nothing for the next hundred or so turns
Scott Elder not for nothing, he can just follow the mongols and mop up cities in their wake, plus with forces that strong, the surviving Turks have no chance. He could basically split them in two and easily take turkey and send half west and wipe out the Moors
I'm still not convinced that you've built cannon towers in the middle east... I vaguely remember you building them then cancelling for the 6400 florins.
I've heard that Rome had the slow movement bug because a province would have a disaster and the "a disaster is happening here" flag failed to be removed (it also caused you to be unable to build watchtowers). I suspect that's what has happened in Spain.
Elite Cretan Archers I imagine it's a perpetual game of monopoly within the Mongol horde, where they can only continue their pillage if they land on the GO tile, but they keep getting "Go to jail, pass but don't collect from GO".
If you want a high authority leader, put your Prince in enemy territory and leave him there because for every turn that a general is in enemy territory, there is a 1/50 chance in gaining a Pragmatic trait level, which increases authority and troop morale.
Jon I feel like you're underestimating Bombards. They're amazing at taking out walls and units alike. Plus you can just bomb units hiding on the plaza before you send units into the final layer of castles/fortresses/citadels
One way to get your king's authority up in a hurry is to murder a whole bunch of people with assassins. I mean, it's sort of awful and everyone will obey him only because they're afraid of him, but it *is* bonus authority.
Hey John, since northern Europe is totally uncontested, what about converting castles into cities? It would get you the money to buy those sweet sweet cannon towers
I feel Karl rebelled because he realised that he was on the wrong side. That the Danes were the evil force taking over Europe. He felt that he had to do something to stop this evil kingdom. And so he did, until he was butchered by his own kinsmen. RIP Karl Bengtson He was a true hero against evil.
I don't believe Godfred the Handsome attained his manliness properly my brothers! For in but half a year (the shortest war ever surprisingly), he wasted no time acquiring himself a Pagan Magician while our people were excommunicated!
"Lets see if the rebels disperse, and if the IMPERIALS and Hungarians will do some of the work for me..." Aside from the fact that the Imperials ARE the rebels, eh Jon? ;)
*The Tara Times* *Leadership Purges in Denmark* Following a recent defection of a true hero, Karl Bengtson, King Skapti has been executing Lieutenants left and right. Whilst those in Skaptis inner circle remain safe, rumors persist that a recently promoted general, Hardeknud, may be harboring Karl after having destroyed Karls warband. Furthermore, the recent influx of men into Denmarks officer corps has generated paranoia over an alleged “Cult of Karl” in the weak heretic king, despite General Karls devotion to the True Faith and his spotless Christian character. *How to Properly Gut a Pagan...page 6* *Wanted, Dead or Even More Dead; Seamus Taobhelár and his children (and if applicable, his grandchildren)* *Wanna Hang Pagans by their own Vivisected Intestines? see page 3*
How much worse were the morale penalties of losing the French king compared to the morale penalties that he provided just by being alive? Thanks for the video!
Many A True Nerd The reason your guys are moving so slow in Spain is because there was likely a natural disaster there. You should find the same thing in Bologna and Cairo, where you just had earthquakes.
Sometimes, the excommunication unrest can be pretty severe, I had to pay 45,000 over 3 turns to the Pope to get reconciled just so I could stop my people from killing each other and burning churches and inns.
I believe excommunication penalty is happiness -20% only, so the main reason for rioting is poor management. I mean you could invest 45k in garrisons and public order buildings instead.
Yeah, my management was pretty garbage but I was at least soundly out of the red zone until excommunication. I was too scared to risk rioting to wait for infrastructure that could've helped so I just made a deal with the Pope.
Hmm. Karl Bengtsson. Karl starts with a K, which is one letter away from J. Bengtsson starts with a B, and B sounds a lot like V. Karl Bengtsson confirmed the distant descendant of Julianus Vatinius?
King Knud Yes. Your's was the great reign that began this glorious empire! 'Tis the fault of Steve Stengarr for having such spoiled sons that has left it in shambles!
Jon, you do realise that you DON'T have to wait until the game prompts you to... do what you want to do, right? You could do it right now if you just built the right boats...
Holy Father, you have made a mistake by reconciling Skapti! He is a brutal dictator with no respect for faith and plans to destroy the Barque of St. Peter, the Holy See of the Rock of the Church! He intends to destroy the true faith, and he needs to be stopped...why do you have a woman’s nose...and a woman’s eyes, Holy Father?
I find it very interesting that the first female pope is warlike. People say that if women ran things, there would be less wars or bloodshed in general. But if we look at history, most of the queens with the power (or other female rulers) were very cruel and bloody. While king were as well, the percentages are way lower than it is for a woman ruler. Could be a number game, could be the only type of woman that people would follow. Whatever the reason, points for historical accuracy??
Portuguese Irishmen? Spanish Frenchmen? Pacifist Mongols? Russians defeated in winter? And a female Pope? Jon must be playing the Medieval II: Total Lunacy Mod
idunbeezasmart1 Don’t forget the Scottish Danes.
tobbsdasock I believe that General was bribed away from the Imperials originally, which would make him a Scottish Danish German!
My fellow Danes, I have bittersweet news. Karl Bengtson, the man who courageously rebelled against King Skapti, has been killed in the woods of Yorkshire. With his capture, Europe can sleep safe knowing Scot rebels are no longer at our doorstep, however, we must also accept the death of one of the greatest Danes to ever live.
Yes, I have always had this mustache.
Captain Hardeknud
A Mhuire, Máthair Dé! Please tell me that you are the Once and Future King, Ó Karl! Carolus Rex Denmarki!
*curls up into a prostrate position and begins praying silently in Latin*
Make up your mind milord, was he killed or captured?
Uh, yes! Captured! And then executed.
My mustache is lovely, isn't it?
It very much is a magnificent facial hair Captain Hardeknud, the Kingdom of Denmark is surely lesser for the loss of a great man but he stuck to his guns and we can only respect such manliness.
Now if the Mongols would just die of old age. How many years has that Mongol Bumble (TM) been going on for now?
Was he killed or captured? I'm getting mixed signals from you sir who has suspicious facial hair.
The Pope: "*Cough...* Attack the... *Wheeze...* Danish Infidels at... *Hack...* Genoa... Make them suffer... *Coughs up a lung*
5 minutes later
New Pope: "Yeah um, cancel that thanks."
Jon your heir is 59. He'll die before becoming king...
After the Spanish Prince's fleet (boat) was sunk, I wonder what the histogram of the Spanish military power looked like!!
Jon, show us?
Someone please keep in mind how many turns the Mongolian Bumble (TM) has been going on
They entered the map on turn 67, it's turn 113.....The Bumble™ has been going on for 46 turns....
Fireflux 2 years a turn it's 92 years
I wonder if the mongols are going to go North now...
While devastating it would be rather amusing...
Sometimes they choose to settle down at Constantinople or Kiev.
"The end of the french im France frankly" damn Danes and their puns
Plínio Melo oh fuck, major credit to you for realising that works as a pun
Yeah!!!! CULT OF KARL!! CULT OF KARL!!
Karl (Blessed be his name) Jones
Indeed my brother! Our saviour has transcended the mortal coil, ascended from such needs as to join the Kingdom of Denmark.
He instead has chosen to sacrifice his life so that all Danish citizens named Karl (Blessed be his name) will become heroes in the annals of history!
Even the core of the army is called house karls.
Didn't the Mongols come in around turn 60?
It's pretty much been half the entire game, good lord.
What if Scapti is just pretending to be incompetent to avoid suspicion while he secretly made an alliance with mongols?..
Excommunication? Grounds for a Danish Raiding of Rome, if you ask me.
good afternoon ladies and gentleman im Jon this is many a true nerd and welcome back to slaughter and conquer simulator 2006, in the last episode we literally executed the king of Hungary and continued on with our ruthless imperialism
*Soon*
Imperialism, hmm, I think you mean liberation through Danish territorial annexation.
The Papal States attacking you, immediately for the bloody pope to get a heart attack was simply beautiful. A true sign from the Gods.
*God, excuse me, I'm not a heretic
The Kult of Karl should have always been expected, their house has fought for you from turn 1. The husKARL's shall rise!
Jon here's a guide on how to make Egypt your vassal: take all settlements surrounding their region keep besieging and unseiging their city and asking them for vassalage for about some turns and voila!
Yeah, I believe it's not his way to end the war.
Jon, you're still at war with the Mongols. You can't give people stuff if you're at war with them.
Hey, León is my birthplace. Try not to break it too much. Those walls are actually Roman, you know
Jon giving this man the Maximus Decimus Meridius treatment
The female pope thing is actually the new script of the Mulan remake
There's been an earthquake or flash flood in Toledo. That's the reason why you cannot move as fast as normal. It effects every army and agents movement in this region.
imagine the mongols never invaded Jon's lands and all those armies standing by and investment in defences and not expanding that front as much (letting Egypt live for example) was all for nothing
Scott Elder its very unlikely for the mongols to miss jon entirely at this point tbh, unless they want to sit and do nothing for the next hundred or so turns
Scott Elder not for nothing, he can just follow the mongols and mop up cities in their wake, plus with forces that strong, the surviving Turks have no chance. He could basically split them in two and easily take turkey and send half west and wipe out the Moors
The Dane in the north!
The Dane in the north!
The Dane in the north!
Karl Bengtsson was no hero. He was an evil necromancer that would not let the souls of his dearest friends rest!
the north Cornish coast isn't quite the Irish Sea, at that point it is still technically the Atlantic Ocean.
The Danish Hero is calling Captain Hardnuts? This is perfect
Hoorayy!!!
Jon used the term "King" correctly!
I'm still not convinced that you've built cannon towers in the middle east... I vaguely remember you building them then cancelling for the 6400 florins.
He hasnt in all cities, you can see them at the end ready to be built in one of the cities.
acrefray considering the Mongols speed he has the time
It still takes 6 turns, and it seems the mongols have decided they've won the faffing about competition and are moving a little faster now.
I believe it takes only 4 turns to build cannon towers.
Definitely! Still no cannon towers in Acre...
but, heck, we know who we are talking about, aren't we?
Karl Bengtsson was a good man. I am deeply saddened to have met him like I did.
I've heard that Rome had the slow movement bug because a province would have a disaster and the "a disaster is happening here" flag failed to be removed (it also caused you to be unable to build watchtowers). I suspect that's what has happened in Spain.
I always think about how much easier European history would be if the Danes controlled everything
*MONGOLIANS? MORE LIKE THE NO-GOLIANS!*
Elite Cretan Archers I imagine it's a perpetual game of monopoly within the Mongol horde, where they can only continue their pillage if they land on the GO tile, but they keep getting "Go to jail, pass but don't collect from GO".
The Mongrols!
Jon, build a spy in Milan and keep them there to improve your chance of detecting and ousting the enemy agents stirring up unrest.
Every time I see this video is up I immediately watch it. Whether I have time to or not
If you want a high authority leader, put your Prince in enemy territory and leave him there because for every turn that a general is in enemy territory, there is a 1/50 chance in gaining a Pragmatic trait level, which increases authority and troop morale.
Mark Di Battista That is dang good advice!
A good way to gain authority if you got 50 turns to spare.
MachinegunnerMugZ Might as well since he's at war with almost everyone.
Mark Di Battista Yeah, except for king's heir has like 6-8 turns to live left.
Jon I feel like you're underestimating Bombards. They're amazing at taking out walls and units alike. Plus you can just bomb units hiding on the plaza before you send units into the final layer of castles/fortresses/citadels
I believe bombards are only good against walls. You need mortars to damage units on the plaza efficiently. And Denmark cannot train them.
Karl Bengtson betrays Jon, hes a tragic hero. Pustin betrays Jon, Jon creates a two episode mini-arc trying to murder evil evil Pustin.
Give the Mongols map information! It's worth a shot.
And today Gentlemen, we end the heinous french occupation of Gaul!
That was some impressive retreating even by French standards.
One way to get your king's authority up in a hurry is to murder a whole bunch of people with assassins. I mean, it's sort of awful and everyone will obey him only because they're afraid of him, but it *is* bonus authority.
Excommunication's not so bad. Why be a servant in Heaven when you can be a warrior in VALHALLA!!!!!!!
Your statement "For France Christmas is cancelled" was prophetic.
Karl Bengtsson was sent to live on a farm upstate...and no, you can't go visit him :)
Great Video Jon
That's the second leader his artillery has directly hit.
Hey John, since northern Europe is totally uncontested, what about converting castles into cities? It would get you the money to buy those sweet sweet cannon towers
Jon wonders why France doesn't watch the live stream.
Jon: "I'm loving all the dead French people here."
Never change Jon lol.
What an episode!
Trick or Dane!
6kvin10 I'll take trick
move the armies at Bern and Innsbruck south, either to stop the Pope attacking or to finally take the fight to Sicily
I feel Karl rebelled because he realised that he was on the wrong side. That the Danes were the evil force taking over Europe. He felt that he had to do something to stop this evil kingdom. And so he did, until he was butchered by his own kinsmen.
RIP Karl Bengtson
He was a true hero against evil.
Jesus Christ Mongols... blue balls for literally centuries.
1 man remaining and then you get a general it was him it was Carl
I don't believe Godfred the Handsome attained his manliness properly my brothers! For in but half a year (the shortest war ever surprisingly), he wasted no time acquiring himself a Pagan Magician while our people were excommunicated!
I’ve just been waiting and waiting for the mongols to do something.
"Lets see if the rebels disperse, and if the IMPERIALS and Hungarians will do some of the work for me..."
Aside from the fact that the Imperials ARE the rebels, eh Jon? ;)
Hmm... whoever could have taken Corinth, a city the game is telling you is now owned by Venice... Never change Jon.
The Mongolians are actually fighting again 😯
You have to put ceasefire on the diplomatic options before giving a territory is possible.
I was hoping this video would lead to the revelation of the Danish equivalent of Julianus Vatinius.
You were my brother, Karl! I loved you. You were supposed to bring balance to Inverness, not leave it in darkness!
*The Tara Times*
*Leadership Purges in Denmark*
Following a recent defection of a true hero, Karl Bengtson, King Skapti has been executing Lieutenants left and right. Whilst those in Skaptis inner circle remain safe, rumors persist that a recently promoted general, Hardeknud, may be harboring Karl after having destroyed Karls warband. Furthermore, the recent influx of men into Denmarks officer corps has generated paranoia over an alleged “Cult of Karl” in the weak heretic king, despite General Karls devotion to the True Faith and his spotless Christian character.
*How to Properly Gut a Pagan...page 6*
*Wanted, Dead or Even More Dead; Seamus Taobhelár and his children (and if applicable, his grandchildren)*
*Wanna Hang Pagans by their own Vivisected Intestines? see page 3*
With the title I expect a Danish Vatinius?
How much worse were the morale penalties of losing the French king compared to the morale penalties that he provided just by being alive?
Thanks for the video!
Many A True Nerd The reason your guys are moving so slow in Spain is because there was likely a natural disaster there. You should find the same thing in Bologna and Cairo, where you just had earthquakes.
It is getting close to Thanksgiving here in the US, so maybe the Mongols are hungry for some Turkey.
I think you need to get your own spy in Milan ASAP!
He can't be bothered. Too busy building armies and destroying everyone.
I guess you could say they were *Re-Ordaned*
Can't wait for Part 55: The (Danish) Kings of Leon.
"Your Popeyness"
Before the roleplayers, thank god
why does karl get a better cannon story than Captain Nero!?
Sometimes, the excommunication unrest can be pretty severe, I had to pay 45,000 over 3 turns to the Pope to get reconciled just so I could stop my people from killing each other and burning churches and inns.
I believe excommunication penalty is happiness -20% only, so the main reason for rioting is poor management. I mean you could invest 45k in garrisons and public order buildings instead.
Yeah, my management was pretty garbage but I was at least soundly out of the red zone until excommunication. I was too scared to risk rioting to wait for infrastructure that could've helped so I just made a deal with the Pope.
Hmm. Karl Bengtsson.
Karl starts with a K, which is one letter away from J.
Bengtsson starts with a B, and B sounds a lot like V.
Karl Bengtsson confirmed the distant descendant of Julianus Vatinius?
heh heh, the red menace.
What year in the game are you currently on Jon?
Very late comment, so I doubt it will be seen, but do the morale debuffs of a general cease to exist when he dies?
The Danish Inquisition
Is the Mongolian Satnav still acting up?
Admiral Karl (Carolus, perhaps?) sank those Spaniards in the Celtic Sea, not the Irish.
Is this episode about me?
King Knud Yes. Your's was the great reign that began this glorious empire! 'Tis the fault of Steve Stengarr for having such spoiled sons that has left it in shambles!
You know what they say, “Spare the rod, spoil the child”
Yeah, fuck my children. All bastards.
...did I just say that?
I've got a joke for you:King Henry was wandering why the boulder was getting bigger...then it hit him.(How many of you know that refferance)
Jon, I have uni at 8 tomorrow... Y u do this?
On my run as France I got 3 female Popes, and my king was offcially labeled a Cuckold xD
Have you noticed the new pope is "secretly female"? I forgot how brilliant this game is
Alexenter11 given he spoke specifically about it yeah, I think he noticed
yeah i was so excited when i saw it - couldn't wait till he spoke about it haha
Jon please build the cannon tower in your middle east cities and castles
The movement around Spain is really slow for some reason it was the same when i played it
The reason is earthquake/flash flood consequences. It happens a lot in Toledo and Lisbon regions.
March on Rome!
The end of the french in France quite frankly. Was that intentional or is your pun brain lobe just that good.
Venice canceled their alliance with the pope ... who is now their pope ... thats gotta sting.
hey jon what will you do about america
He's gonna bring Dane's type of democracy to it.
Press f to pay respects
f
The mini map by the end of this episode was Hitler's wet dream.
Jon, you do realise that you DON'T have to wait until the game prompts you to... do what you want to do, right? You could do it right now if you just built the right boats...
Transman Pope! Transman Pope!
Have you considered an "Attack Faction: Denmark"?
Or maybe Hungary? Or Turkey? Set them a war target, maybe?
I’m totally not about to die!
*cough*
Hi, I’m the new Pope!
Holy Father, you have made a mistake by reconciling Skapti! He is a brutal dictator with no respect for faith and plans to destroy the Barque of St. Peter, the Holy See of the Rock of the Church! He intends to destroy the true faith, and he needs to be stopped...why do you have a woman’s nose...and a woman’s eyes, Holy Father?
I find it very interesting that the first female pope is warlike. People say that if women ran things, there would be less wars or bloodshed in general. But if we look at history, most of the queens with the power (or other female rulers) were very cruel and bloody. While king were as well, the percentages are way lower than it is for a woman ruler. Could be a number game, could be the only type of woman that people would follow. Whatever the reason, points for historical accuracy??
WOO!