That bit about being “too much” got me right through the heart. Funnily enough it’s only ever been men who have told me I’m too much, but this year I kind of came to the realization that they just weren’t enough. Like get on my level or leave, but don’t try to drag me down for being passionate and enthusiastic about things that make me happy. 🤷🏻♀️
the biggest non physical trait that attracts me is when someone has a kind aura. When you see them and they look and feel like a kind person. That ofc doesnt mean that they are always kind 100% of the time, i love me some dark humor and constant ironic jokes, but i noticed that i only find someone attractive when they have this kind feel to them.
That's the same for me, kindness is one of the most crucial factors that will either make me want to have you around for a long time or make me never want to see you again. It's hard to find true kindness out in the world -- especially when dating
I’m bigggg on aura and energy. People don’t realize that shit radiates from a person. I can sense a negative person from one a little more sweet, optimistic, and kind.
I'm empathetic & compassionate, but idk if I've ever seen myself as "kind". There's an element of "nice" embedded in it that I'm definitely not LOL _(I'm the Grinch with the heart... wanna be left alone)_
I felt tempted to leave a comment like "you seem to be a bit more down lately, I hope you're doing ok" but then I realized that you're doing some amazing introspection and emotional digging and that's so so hard and it's ok if that manifests in being more "sad" or less animated on camera, because you don't owe us a certain mood!! So proud and grateful for your vulnerability as always. 💜
i’m actually the happiest i’ve ever been! hahaha but yes, have definitely been quieter/more introspective recently so my content has been reflective of that. appreciate u thinking of me ❤️
"To me, I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot, I feel like I'm asking for what I give to other people. And it's fucking easy to give what I give to other people." Man this is me 100%.
this might be a strange video request but could you make a video of how you curate your social media feed to be a positive space for yourself? Influencers to follow etc? Love your videos!!
Maddie: “I just find it VERY unattractive when people are afraid to share their passions😐” Me: Damn five minutes into this date and she’s already roasted me😂
@@calvoekleiden8664 that's so interesting. but maybe that's why I'm swiftly friendzoned by men 🙄 but they're also really fascinated & are the one to keep discussing the topic...I hate it here 😑
This!!!! It’s fucking frustrating to date when you’re a strong independent person who exactly knows what you want in life cuz that usually leads to men using me or lying to me and never really dating me seriously. I could just scream and get so mad about it because every single one of those guys does end up with some boring person with - what feels like - no personality just so they can project their wants and needs on someone who isn’t aware of their own and they can just use women like a pet and that honestly disgusts me. I wish more women would be aware of what they really want and need and stand up for themselves,..
Ive been single my whole life and i agree with you,it has taught me everything about myself,what i want and what i dont, i still havent found the right person for me but thats okay cause i love myself and im fine being single btw i love your videos
getting high while watching your videos while doing my makeup is my new favorite past time. thank you for your emotional vulnerability that you share with us. it means very much to someone who is currently learning the importance of emotional vulnerability✨
what you say about wanting a partner to add to your life resonates so much with me and i think a lot of us who made it into adulthood without any serious romantic relationships. i'm very comfortable being on my own, i have worked hard to genuinely like myself and if you don't make my life better, then what's the point? i'm not afraid of being alone.
The “being too much” bit hits so close to home. It’s the reason I can’t listen to Lorde’s song Liability without crying. Btw shout-out to your cover of the song Maddie. Seriously, go listen to it people. My entire life I have felt like I was too much for people, too passionate, too intense, too invested, like I was asking for too much. At the same time I tried taking up as little space as possible, making myself metaphorically small, something that being an introvert helped with..maybe helped a little too much. The heartache that comes from feeling like you’re asking for too much but at the same time like you dont deserve the little you are getting..... I’m working to get over it and nowadays I’m more unapologetic about what I want. It’s a work in progress. If you mades here thanks for reading
I truly feel like you and I are in similar spots in life and relationships because everything you describe you want in a relationship is exactly what I want. The growth, the loving yourself to where you don’t want to bring someone in to disrupt it, and so on. Like. This video resonates so much to me rn
recently moved to london and the dating game has been equally amazing and shitty, your videos have honestly been the best thing to get me through it al
i very strongly relate to a lot of the things you're saying like always feeling too much and not asking for the things you want. dealing with loneliness as a person that is a bit of a hopeless romantic. i just want to say i really enjoy your content and listening to you talk and just riff on these topics
I feel like ranting if anyone wants to listen:) you said "it made dating me a lot harder', but in all honesty that isnt bad, that means youll know when someone genuinely cares and wants things to work, because theyll stay around and work it through. if they ask you to change or say you are being difficult, then that isnt necessarily their problem, but it most definitely isnt yours. im so glad you are living your authentic life, dont let peoples opinions get in the way of you being you. you arent difficult, you are complex, you have boundaries, youre a strong being.
Found your channel thanks to UA-cam suggestions and girl, I subscribed immediately and i've been binge watching your content cause it's pure gold. This video is not the exception. I loved every bit of it.
Yk what I actually love these talks because it really helps me think about myself. I know I'm not mentally well enough to take control of my emotions so I'm reminded I have to work about that. And also "trust" issues which is really just abandonment issues laced with insecurity. Also love the look
That last segment i SO needed to hear, i have always been told im too "intense" or talk too much or am too curious... i ended up apologising for being interested in people and passionate, i no longer want that and i articulate my needs more and more every day!
When you said that you think a lot about what you would need to make disrupting your peace worth it is exactly what I feel that I have learned while being single! So well said!
I so wish that I had your insight and general attitude when I was your age. I'm 35 years old and every time I watch one of your videos I'm like...YES!!! You put words to everything I feel and want to feel. Love your channel. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself!!
these videos just comfort me so much. i know that I'm not the only person who needs things. like I genuinely cant explain how ur videos make me feel. they make me accept who I am and help me be okay with being alone. you literally tell me things I need to hear.
the whole thing about being "too much" means so much to me!! it's like i needed someone to say it to me cause oh I had a shit couple of days where all I could think about was how I take up too much space
So much of this resonates deeply with me. I've struggled so much with feeling like I'm too much and have been working to unlearn that in therapy. I love all of what you have to say. We were never too much.
Very nerdy of me but I always love to respond to the questions from this game so before you gave your answer I would write mine down. It felt like a lesson of me thinking about it for myself while also hearing your wisdom from your experiences. The last question really got to me it was hard to write down what I actually meant and you described it perfectly. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Now i can say i TECHNICALLY went on a date with my favourite person maggie 💞 your words means so much to me and your advices really helps. I wish you greatness and happiness everyday
I just wanted to let you know that I am super impressed at how self-aware you are and that you have gotten there at such a young age is wonderful! I am 50 and struggled for so long on my insecurities and the need to have another person in my life. I finally got to a point where I actually love being single and I am pretty sure that I am grey-A and prefer to not be in a relationship. I have been single for over 11 years and it's wonderful for & I it would take a very stable, self-aware person for me to want to share my life with at this point. I understand that my way is not for everyone and I wish more people could learn to love themselves enough to not need to be in relationship but would only want to be in one if it's healthy. Thanks for being so open and honest. I think people need to hear these types of messages as much as possible!
Oh man, that last section really hit me hard. I am currently going through a separation from my partner of seven and a half years (we were engaged for 2 years and lived together for 5), and it's been so hard not to hate myself because he wanted to separate due to us just being far too incompatible in too many ways. It's taken a toll on both of our happiness and growth and it's been much more difficult for me to admit that to myself because I don't respect or value myself as much as I did him. Your repetitive affirmations of "I am not too much, I am not asking for too much," resonated with me and for that, I thank you. I hope you, too, are able to find someone who brings out the best in you and thrives with you.
Maddie, I feel SO confident that you're going to find the exact type of person you're looking for. I'd be curious to see you do some travel dating series or something where you go on dates with people in different cities, almost as a type of ethnography. I've heard NYC is one of the loneliest cities in the world for love and romance. Thank you for making these videos, always so insightful and entertaining to watch
The part about understanding your partners love language made me open my eyes a lot. My bf’s love language is physical touch and for some reason I struggle a lot with it. He’s my first bf and even after 4 years, physical touch is something I struggle a lot with, does anyone have good advice on how to deal with that?
Wow there’s a lot to unpack, which therapy and seeing a psychiatrist will help with that. Was there trauma in your childhood that makes intimacy hard now?? Or are you neurodivergent?? Or you could just not be a touchy person, and it could be a thing of compatibility, maybe you guys should go your separate ways or maybe you guys can accept each other as you guys are and trust each other there will be no resentment
@@madisonj5136 i don’t have any childhood traumas regarding that matter. I’ve never been to therapy bc I cant afford it. I think it started bc every time we would fight was when he would touch me more to makeup faster and I think that fucked me up. And I feel bad bc even when we are not fighting I don’t know how to process the fact that he’s touching me in an affectionate way with no ulterior motive. And the fucked up thing is that I hate it when he doesn’t touch me and I get mad bc he’s not touching me but when he touches me my brain goes like wtf. It’s gotten really frustrating for both of us bc I can’t seem to make up my fkn mind. Most times he is understanding and asks me if he can touch me but I just feel so fucking guilty that he even has to ask
@@hyaacinthus so he broke your trust. So you can’t trust him when he gets intimate because you can’t help but think there’s an ulterior motive to it. So if i was you I would communicate those insecurities towards him, maybe you guys can set up some sort of boundaries, that can help trust each other more. So maybe your boundary is when you guys get into a massive fight, ask him to not to touch you in that moment and that you need some space right now to process. You owe that to yourself because if he does that, it makes things harder to build that trust with him. Now he’s sounds caring, so I don’t think asking that of him, would be too much for him and if he makes you feel bad for your boundaries, I would reevaluate that relationship. Hope this helps
@@madisonj5136 this helped a lot actually, thank you so much. It was nice talking with someone else about this, I will talk to him in detail and just try to explain to him that I don’t know how to process it bc I associate it a big fight. Honestly, thank you so so so much!
Bit late in watching this video, but I’m so glad I did. The part about telling your younger self that it’s ok to want more from people resonated with me so deeply. I’ve been in similar situations where I end up caring about people who can’t even text back. You’ve helped me so much when it comes to this stuff, so thank you for being your honest and kind self
Damn Maddie dropping those TRUTH BOMBS! I cam absolutely relate to what you said about being in a friends with benefits relationship with someone who could give a shit less about you. I am currently going through that. I used to cry about it but I think I have just gotten used to not feeling important and that's sad....bi deserve better 😔
Sometimes I think that that we should more ask about someone's flaws than their qualities. Not that the qualities don't matter. Just. Because at the end of the day we are always more focused on the negative and you can always live with someone's good side but rarely with someone's bad side. I need to know how bad is your bad and if I can survive it :D So it's just a balancing game for me. I'd love to know what kind of flaws you'd be able to live with rather than top qualities :D And on the "too much" - gurl. Same. I am very loving and giving and I felt like I was always too present or too "there for you" and people act like it's not fun cos it's all about the chase and me being steady and sturdy was just not giving them the thrill >.> When for me the instability, lack of trust and commitment was just scary and irritating. I needed someone who doesn't need me to be the pray to chase, I needed a fellow rabbit, not a fox. Someone who isn't scared of my commitment and enthusiasm and don't get me wrong, my husband was a bit scared ("are you sure your feelings won't fade since they're so intense?? are you??") but he risked it, despite his fear he never pulled away and I proved to him that it won't change as long as I am treated with love and trust. I am just as in love after 7 years as I was after 6 months if not more cos now it's love full of flavor that only time can develop. There's someone just right for you, I know it because I can see people around me finding them in such weird places (mine was found 10k km from me, my bff found hers 3k km and my cousin found hers in the middle school :D) so why wouldn't you?
This helped me sooo much, especially talking about ‘being too much’. I’m a pretty passionate person at all times, and I like texting and hanging out all the time because my love language is quality time. I also like building relationships off the thought that if we didn’t date, we would’ve been best friends. But I’ve always broken up with partners cuz they felt I was too much, and they didn’t want to give time or passion into a relationship with me and I started to think maybe I was too much. But I love how you put it, I’m allowed to expect from people what I’m giving to them. Your videos are so helpful to so many people, and I hope you’re doing well✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
My parents have instilled very high standards for relationships in me, lol. My family is very verbally and physically affectionate, and we spend a lot of time together. Unsurprisingly, my three highest love languages are quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Out of all my friends, not only do I have the strongest relationship with my parents, but my parents have the strongest relationship with each other.
“You are not too much. What you need is not too much. Some people will be able to give you what you need and others will not.” Just leaving it here for myself, because FUCKING AMEN✨
you lowkey inspired me to really sit down and talk abt my issues, or vent and i ended up making a video and posting it too lol! kinda nervous to be that vulnerable and show it to people, but small steps i guess!
This video was so interesting, thank you so much I think I needed it. You gave me reassurance on many subjects and I feel like we share many opinions, and it felt good to hear for example that it's okay to ask for what we want, and that we are not too much, and people who care will be able to give us what we need to feel safe and loved in a relationship. Thank you so so much for that.
Most attractive non physical trait: my most favorite non physical trait or attribute to a person is the ability to make me feel safe. When I look back and think on the most happiest I'd ever been in any sort of romantic relationship my favorite thing and the thing that I loved the most about it was the ability for my partner to make me feel safe. And when I think about my current best friends or friendships that I cherish the most, the thing that I love the most about them is how those friends can make me feel safe and warm and loved and just protected and like if I'm around them nothing could ever hurt me. So far this semester at school there have been two guys that were or still are into me and I think the thing that made me feel off about each advance they made toward me or whatever date that I had went to on the thing that just seemed most off-putting to me and made me not interested in them was the fact that they did not make me feel safe. And not in a bad way or anything I did not feel as if they were going to hurt or harm me in anyway it was just the fact that I didn't get that super safe and comfortable feeling that I get when I'm around my closest friends or that I had when I was with my partner. Whenever I had a crush on someone or have a slight interest in being with someone for whatever reason one thing that always stood out to me, that I didn't realize until now, was the fact that I feeling that, if we ever had something together or that we ever got involved in anyway, I was going to be safe with them. And my mom and my aunt kept asking me "what was it that you didn't like about this guy" or "what was it that you didn't like about the other guy" I kept phrasing it as "oh I didn't feel the vibes" "the vibes just weren't there" but now I'm realizing that the vibe with that wasn't there was the fact that I didn't get that safe feeling. And I feel like it kind of sucks just because it's not something that they can fix and it's not something that they can actively like do, its just the fact that either I do get that safe feeling with you or I don't if I don't then we're not gonna click. And it's the way that I love and the way that I get to feel loved and so I guess that I shouldn't say that it sucks, but sometimes I do wish that I was able to give people more of a chance to be with me and get to know me better than just basing it off the fact that I don't get "that feeling" with them.
thank you for sharing with us. idon't have much to say but i truly wish you the best of everything in life ! you're a sunshine who knows her worth and i think you deserve the whole world. have a nice day, stay safe stay healthy ❤❤❤
Fantastic. I feel like I'm getting to the point I want to be in my life and jist focusing on my own goals. I would love someone to share my life and love with, but I have to pour into my own cup first. One day, I will be overflowing and can readily share my abundance.
I know now should not seek validation in others… but you make me feel normal. I have been broken up with about 2 times with the excuse that I’m too much and I always took that like I need to dilute myself because if couple of people say I’m too much it must me an “me” problem. And now after making so many changes to myself to please them, now i find myself boring, I get attention but deep inside Im literally bored of myself, i know it makes no sense but now I’m desperately trying to go back to myself but the fear of people running away from me stop me… anywayyy I just want to say thank you for making me feel accepted 🥺
um first off it is key that i express my love for you and your videos. you are a magic and speak to the souls of many (i think its safe to say hhaha) secondly i cant help but notice you've got those same billie eilish baby blues. DAMN and third... where did you get your necklace if you dont mind me asking? thank you for sharing this content its bomb, you rule.
That bit about being “too much” got me right through the heart. Funnily enough it’s only ever been men who have told me I’m too much, but this year I kind of came to the realization that they just weren’t enough. Like get on my level or leave, but don’t try to drag me down for being passionate and enthusiastic about things that make me happy. 🤷🏻♀️
I screen shot this. You're so right.
AMEN SISTA
YES YES YES!!! Never settle for less, own it babey!
Period!
☑️☑️☑️
the biggest non physical trait that attracts me is when someone has a kind aura. When you see them and they look and feel like a kind person. That ofc doesnt mean that they are always kind 100% of the time, i love me some dark humor and constant ironic jokes, but i noticed that i only find someone attractive when they have this kind feel to them.
That's the same for me, kindness is one of the most crucial factors that will either make me want to have you around for a long time or make me never want to see you again. It's hard to find true kindness out in the world -- especially when dating
I’m bigggg on aura and energy. People don’t realize that shit radiates from a person. I can sense a negative person from one a little more sweet, optimistic, and kind.
I'm empathetic & compassionate, but idk if I've ever seen myself as "kind". There's an element of "nice" embedded in it that I'm definitely not LOL _(I'm the Grinch with the heart... wanna be left alone)_
I felt tempted to leave a comment like "you seem to be a bit more down lately, I hope you're doing ok" but then I realized that you're doing some amazing introspection and emotional digging and that's so so hard and it's ok if that manifests in being more "sad" or less animated on camera, because you don't owe us a certain mood!! So proud and grateful for your vulnerability as always. 💜
i’m actually the happiest i’ve ever been! hahaha but yes, have definitely been quieter/more introspective recently so my content has been reflective of that. appreciate u thinking of me ❤️
That's so good to know!! I'm happy for you ♥️
@@MaddieDragsbaek All I see is you glowing
Finding it romantic when someone else makes the plans because you’re ALWAYS initiating is………. so real
THIS. I felt this so deeply
"To me, I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot, I feel like I'm asking for what I give to other people. And it's fucking easy to give what I give to other people."
Man this is me 100%.
this might be a strange video request but could you make a video of how you curate your social media feed to be a positive space for yourself? Influencers to follow etc? Love your videos!!
Maddie: “I just find it VERY unattractive when people are afraid to share their passions😐”
Me: Damn five minutes into this date and she’s already roasted me😂
Bruh fr I get so embarrassed tho even if I am super passionate 💀
@@calvoekleiden8664 that's so interesting. but maybe that's why I'm swiftly friendzoned by men 🙄 but they're also really fascinated & are the one to keep discussing the topic...I hate it here 😑
being ‘too much’ is just knowing what you want and I think that scares men lol
This!!!! It’s fucking frustrating to date when you’re a strong independent person who exactly knows what you want in life cuz that usually leads to men using me or lying to me and never really dating me seriously. I could just scream and get so mad about it because every single one of those guys does end up with some boring person with - what feels like - no personality just so they can project their wants and needs on someone who isn’t aware of their own and they can just use women like a pet and that honestly disgusts me. I wish more women would be aware of what they really want and need and stand up for themselves,..
Most men aren't really interested in anything beyond getting laid these days. At least that's been my experience. How boring... I give up.
your energy, mentality, & overall presence is such a pleasure to watch.. you deserve the world & thank you for being so vulnerable on the internet
You always come in clutch with the advice like the cool girl everyone wants to be friends with :)
Ive been single my whole life and i agree with you,it has taught me everything about myself,what i want and what i dont, i still havent found the right person for me but thats okay cause i love myself and im fine being single btw i love your videos
"Boys with dreams, who cry"💜💜 same!
getting high while watching your videos while doing my makeup is my new favorite past time. thank you for your emotional vulnerability that you share with us. it means very much to someone who is currently learning the importance of emotional vulnerability✨
what you say about wanting a partner to add to your life resonates so much with me and i think a lot of us who made it into adulthood without any serious romantic relationships. i'm very comfortable being on my own, i have worked hard to genuinely like myself and if you don't make my life better, then what's the point? i'm not afraid of being alone.
The “being too much” bit hits so close to home. It’s the reason I can’t listen to Lorde’s song Liability without crying. Btw shout-out to your cover of the song Maddie. Seriously, go listen to it people.
My entire life I have felt like I was too much for people, too passionate, too intense, too invested, like I was asking for too much. At the same time I tried taking up as little space as possible, making myself metaphorically small, something that being an introvert helped with..maybe helped a little too much. The heartache that comes from feeling like you’re asking for too much but at the same time like you dont deserve the little you are getting..... I’m working to get over it and nowadays I’m more unapologetic about what I want. It’s a work in progress. If you mades here thanks for reading
What song cover?? 👀
@@SuperMeggy99 Maddie has done a cover of Lorde's Liability. Its on her channel, you should check it out, its a beautiful cover
I truly feel like you and I are in similar spots in life and relationships because everything you describe you want in a relationship is exactly what I want. The growth, the loving yourself to where you don’t want to bring someone in to disrupt it, and so on. Like. This video resonates so much to me rn
I am a simple girl: my queen uploads - I go watch
recently moved to london and the dating game has been equally amazing and shitty, your videos have honestly been the best thing to get me through it al
i very strongly relate to a lot of the things you're saying like always feeling too much and not asking for the things you want. dealing with loneliness as a person that is a bit of a hopeless romantic. i just want to say i really enjoy your content and listening to you talk and just riff on these topics
My dear, you are very literally glowing. You just seem so at peace and content and I couldn't be happier for you 💜
I always get bestie/big sister energy from Maddie
I feel like ranting if anyone wants to listen:)
you said "it made dating me a lot harder', but in all honesty that isnt bad, that means youll know when someone genuinely cares and wants things to work, because theyll stay around and work it through. if they ask you to change or say you are being difficult, then that isnt necessarily their problem, but it most definitely isnt yours. im so glad you are living your authentic life, dont let peoples opinions get in the way of you being you. you arent difficult, you are complex, you have boundaries, youre a strong being.
Found your channel thanks to UA-cam suggestions and girl, I subscribed immediately and i've been binge watching your content cause it's pure gold.
This video is not the exception. I loved every bit of it.
Yk what I actually love these talks because it really helps me think about myself. I know I'm not mentally well enough to take control of my emotions so I'm reminded I have to work about that. And also "trust" issues which is really just abandonment issues laced with insecurity. Also love the look
That last segment i SO needed to hear, i have always been told im too "intense" or talk too much or am too curious... i ended up apologising for being interested in people and passionate, i no longer want that and i articulate my needs more and more every day!
You are making me want buy purple clothing, it just suits you so well 💜
I was looking for this comment tbh❤️
When you said that you think a lot about what you would need to make disrupting your peace worth it is exactly what I feel that I have learned while being single! So well said!
I love your emotional maturity and your honesty and truth about what you expect from the other person and yourself!
Maddie's so romanntiiccc awww ur gonna make someone so happy one day
I so wish that I had your insight and general attitude when I was your age. I'm 35 years old and every time I watch one of your videos I'm like...YES!!! You put words to everything I feel and want to feel. Love your channel. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself!!
these videos just comfort me so much. i know that I'm not the only person who needs things. like I genuinely cant explain how ur videos make me feel. they make me accept who I am and help me be okay with being alone. you literally tell me things I need to hear.
the whole thing about being "too much" means so much to me!! it's like i needed someone to say it to me cause oh I had a shit couple of days where all I could think about was how I take up too much space
So much of this resonates deeply with me. I've struggled so much with feeling like I'm too much and have been working to unlearn that in therapy. I love all of what you have to say. We were never too much.
Maddie, I needed this! I'm going on a date with a friend of mine on Tuesday ahhh im so excited!
Love you and your content! x
Very nerdy of me but I always love to respond to the questions from this game so before you gave your answer I would write mine down. It felt like a lesson of me thinking about it for myself while also hearing your wisdom from your experiences. The last question really got to me it was hard to write down what I actually meant and you described it perfectly. Thank you for sharing ❤️
how did 25 minutes passed like it was 2?? girl you're good at this
I really do feel like most of the time, Maddie is talking THROUGH me TO herself.
But don't get me wrong i'm into it. I Love these videos!!
Now i can say i TECHNICALLY went on a date with my favourite person maggie 💞 your words means so much to me and your advices really helps. I wish you greatness and happiness everyday
I just wanted to let you know that I am super impressed at how self-aware you are and that you have gotten there at such a young age is wonderful! I am 50 and struggled for so long on my insecurities and the need to have another person in my life. I finally got to a point where I actually love being single and I am pretty sure that I am grey-A and prefer to not be in a relationship.
I have been single for over 11 years and it's wonderful for & I it would take a very stable, self-aware person for me to want to share my life with at this point. I understand that my way is not for everyone and I wish more people could learn to love themselves enough to not need to be in relationship but would only want to be in one if it's healthy.
Thanks for being so open and honest. I think people need to hear these types of messages as much as possible!
So happy that you got to spend time with your sister ❤️
Oh man, that last section really hit me hard. I am currently going through a separation from my partner of seven and a half years (we were engaged for 2 years and lived together for 5), and it's been so hard not to hate myself because he wanted to separate due to us just being far too incompatible in too many ways. It's taken a toll on both of our happiness and growth and it's been much more difficult for me to admit that to myself because I don't respect or value myself as much as I did him. Your repetitive affirmations of "I am not too much, I am not asking for too much," resonated with me and for that, I thank you. I hope you, too, are able to find someone who brings out the best in you and thrives with you.
you’re telling me what i need to hear right now but what i refuse to accept and i hate that.
Maddie, I feel SO confident that you're going to find the exact type of person you're looking for. I'd be curious to see you do some travel dating series or something where you go on dates with people in different cities, almost as a type of ethnography. I've heard NYC is one of the loneliest cities in the world for love and romance. Thank you for making these videos, always so insightful and entertaining to watch
The part about understanding your partners love language made me open my eyes a lot. My bf’s love language is physical touch and for some reason I struggle a lot with it. He’s my first bf and even after 4 years, physical touch is something I struggle a lot with, does anyone have good advice on how to deal with that?
Wow there’s a lot to unpack, which therapy
and seeing a psychiatrist will help with that. Was there trauma in your childhood that makes intimacy hard now?? Or are you neurodivergent?? Or you could just not be a touchy person, and it could be a thing of compatibility, maybe you guys should go your separate ways or maybe you guys can accept each other as you guys are and trust each other there will be no resentment
@@madisonj5136 i don’t have any childhood traumas regarding that matter. I’ve never been to therapy bc I cant afford it. I think it started bc every time we would fight was when he would touch me more to makeup faster and I think that fucked me up. And I feel bad bc even when we are not fighting I don’t know how to process the fact that he’s touching me in an affectionate way with no ulterior motive. And the fucked up thing is that I hate it when he doesn’t touch me and I get mad bc he’s not touching me but when he touches me my brain goes like wtf. It’s gotten really frustrating for both of us bc I can’t seem to make up my fkn mind. Most times he is understanding and asks me if he can touch me but I just feel so fucking guilty that he even has to ask
@@madisonj5136 also thank you for replying and sorry for unloading all this shit on an internet stranger lol
@@hyaacinthus so he broke your trust. So you can’t trust him when he gets intimate because you can’t help but think there’s an ulterior motive to it. So if i was you I would communicate those insecurities towards him, maybe you guys can set up some sort of boundaries, that can help trust each other more. So maybe your boundary is when you guys get into a massive fight, ask him to not to touch you in that moment and that you need some space right now to process. You owe that to yourself because if he does that, it makes things harder to build that trust with him. Now he’s sounds caring, so I don’t think asking that of him, would be too much for him and if he makes you feel bad for your boundaries, I would reevaluate that relationship. Hope this helps
@@madisonj5136 this helped a lot actually, thank you so much. It was nice talking with someone else about this, I will talk to him in detail and just try to explain to him that I don’t know how to process it bc I associate it a big fight. Honestly, thank you so so so much!
Just wanted to say that I love how you love love and that I hope you find the love you deserve someday.
Such a beautiful, wholesome comment 😊
Do you know anyone who looks exactly like you and acts exactly like you but is gay? Asking for a friend
is she straight? damn
lmao asking the important questions over here
She posted on her insta somewhat recently that she's bi :)
Bit late in watching this video, but I’m so glad I did. The part about telling your younger self that it’s ok to want more from people resonated with me so deeply. I’ve been in similar situations where I end up caring about people who can’t even text back. You’ve helped me so much when it comes to this stuff, so thank you for being your honest and kind self
My god I love this woman’s content. I feel like she’s a big sister or a close friend: everything she says is spot on and so resonating
Okay but can we just talk about the gorgeous set up. Your background is 🤩 a perfect representation of you as a person.
You inspire me so much! You've truly helped me realize how special this time I have to myself is! You're a treasure 💕
your dating advice to your younger self was exactly what i needed to hear. thank you!!
Damn Maddie dropping those TRUTH BOMBS! I cam absolutely relate to what you said about being in a friends with benefits relationship with someone who could give a shit less about you. I am currently going through that. I used to cry about it but I think I have just gotten used to not feeling important and that's sad....bi deserve better 😔
damn, i wish i could take you out on a date. a friend date, a girl date, a date date... just hearing you talk is the most amazing thing.
Sometimes I think that that we should more ask about someone's flaws than their qualities. Not that the qualities don't matter. Just. Because at the end of the day we are always more focused on the negative and you can always live with someone's good side but rarely with someone's bad side. I need to know how bad is your bad and if I can survive it :D So it's just a balancing game for me. I'd love to know what kind of flaws you'd be able to live with rather than top qualities :D
And on the "too much" - gurl. Same. I am very loving and giving and I felt like I was always too present or too "there for you" and people act like it's not fun cos it's all about the chase and me being steady and sturdy was just not giving them the thrill >.> When for me the instability, lack of trust and commitment was just scary and irritating. I needed someone who doesn't need me to be the pray to chase, I needed a fellow rabbit, not a fox. Someone who isn't scared of my commitment and enthusiasm and don't get me wrong, my husband was a bit scared ("are you sure your feelings won't fade since they're so intense?? are you??") but he risked it, despite his fear he never pulled away and I proved to him that it won't change as long as I am treated with love and trust. I am just as in love after 7 years as I was after 6 months if not more cos now it's love full of flavor that only time can develop. There's someone just right for you, I know it because I can see people around me finding them in such weird places (mine was found 10k km from me, my bff found hers 3k km and my cousin found hers in the middle school :D) so why wouldn't you?
no because you and i are the same person goodness gracious!! i just found ur YT and i am in love
This helped me sooo much, especially talking about ‘being too much’. I’m a pretty passionate person at all times, and I like texting and hanging out all the time because my love language is quality time. I also like building relationships off the thought that if we didn’t date, we would’ve been best friends. But I’ve always broken up with partners cuz they felt I was too much, and they didn’t want to give time or passion into a relationship with me and I started to think maybe I was too much. But I love how you put it, I’m allowed to expect from people what I’m giving to them. Your videos are so helpful to so many people, and I hope you’re doing well✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
This conversation is so helpful in my thoughts with even my friendships
My parents have instilled very high standards for relationships in me, lol. My family is very verbally and physically affectionate, and we spend a lot of time together. Unsurprisingly, my three highest love languages are quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Out of all my friends, not only do I have the strongest relationship with my parents, but my parents have the strongest relationship with each other.
I really needed to hear that last part, thank you
“You are not too much. What you need is not too much. Some people will be able to give you what you need and others will not.” Just leaving it here for myself, because FUCKING AMEN✨
you lowkey inspired me to really sit down and talk abt my issues, or vent and i ended up making a video and posting it too lol! kinda nervous to be that vulnerable and show it to people, but small steps i guess!
This video was so interesting, thank you so much I think I needed it. You gave me reassurance on many subjects and I feel like we share many opinions, and it felt good to hear for example that it's okay to ask for what we want, and that we are not too much, and people who care will be able to give us what we need to feel safe and loved in a relationship. Thank you so so much for that.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I have watched a few videos of yours and LOVE your content! You've got a new subscriber!
non physical traits that are attractive to me: people who are kind/empathetic towards unhoused people as well as servers, bartenders etc
Most attractive non physical trait: my most favorite non physical trait or attribute to a person is the ability to make me feel safe. When I look back and think on the most happiest I'd ever been in any sort of romantic relationship my favorite thing and the thing that I loved the most about it was the ability for my partner to make me feel safe. And when I think about my current best friends or friendships that I cherish the most, the thing that I love the most about them is how those friends can make me feel safe and warm and loved and just protected and like if I'm around them nothing could ever hurt me. So far this semester at school there have been two guys that were or still are into me and I think the thing that made me feel off about each advance they made toward me or whatever date that I had went to on the thing that just seemed most off-putting to me and made me not interested in them was the fact that they did not make me feel safe. And not in a bad way or anything I did not feel as if they were going to hurt or harm me in anyway it was just the fact that I didn't get that super safe and comfortable feeling that I get when I'm around my closest friends or that I had when I was with my partner. Whenever I had a crush on someone or have a slight interest in being with someone for whatever reason one thing that always stood out to me, that I didn't realize until now, was the fact that I feeling that, if we ever had something together or that we ever got involved in anyway, I was going to be safe with them. And my mom and my aunt kept asking me "what was it that you didn't like about this guy" or "what was it that you didn't like about the other guy" I kept phrasing it as "oh I didn't feel the vibes" "the vibes just weren't there" but now I'm realizing that the vibe with that wasn't there was the fact that I didn't get that safe feeling. And I feel like it kind of sucks just because it's not something that they can fix and it's not something that they can actively like do, its just the fact that either I do get that safe feeling with you or I don't if I don't then we're not gonna click. And it's the way that I love and the way that I get to feel loved and so I guess that I shouldn't say that it sucks, but sometimes I do wish that I was able to give people more of a chance to be with me and get to know me better than just basing it off the fact that I don't get "that feeling" with them.
THAT PURPLE TOPP💜💜
you're like the older sister I never had but needed/wanted
I'm addicted to your videos
I'm soooo happy I found your channel! Love your videos
ahhhhhhh this video was perfectly timed 🥺✨ thanks maddie
These videos always feel like I’m on FaceTime with one of my friends
Just found ur channel and I think I’m in love with you
Wow I was just thinking about you earlier today and how much I missed your videos! Glad you got a nice vacation in ☀️🌴
Ugh I just love your videos
Haven't even watched the vid yet but your timing is uncanny I just went on the best first date I've had in my life so far XD
thank you for sharing with us. idon't have much to say but i truly wish you the best of everything in life ! you're a sunshine who knows her worth and i think you deserve the whole world. have a nice day, stay safe stay healthy ❤❤❤
Fantastic. I feel like I'm getting to the point I want to be in my life and jist focusing on my own goals. I would love someone to share my life and love with, but I have to pour into my own cup first. One day, I will be overflowing and can readily share my abundance.
So happy that you started to make more videos
You remind me so much of my ex best friend we used to just sit and chat about stuff like this for hours. I love it 😀
I know now should not seek validation in others… but you make me feel normal. I have been broken up with about 2 times with the excuse that I’m too much and I always took that like I need to dilute myself because if couple of people say I’m too much it must me an “me” problem. And now after making so many changes to myself to please them, now i find myself boring, I get attention but deep inside Im literally bored of myself, i know it makes no sense but now I’m desperately trying to go back to myself but the fear of people running away from me stop me… anywayyy I just want to say thank you for making me feel accepted 🥺
Yessss, queen has blessed us 🥰
LOVE YOUR VIDEOS UR A QUEEN AND CANT WAIT FOR MORE VIDEOS🧡
Thank you so much for being the older sister I've never had💕
six month situationship..... baby you just DRAGGED MEEEEE
two videos in a week im in HEAVEN
um first off it is key that i express my love for you and your videos. you are a magic and speak to the souls of many (i think its safe to say hhaha)
secondly i cant help but notice you've got those same billie eilish baby blues. DAMN
and third... where did you get your necklace if you dont mind me asking?
thank you for sharing this content its bomb, you rule.
Omfg. I am literally you!!! I resonated with all your answers lol
how do you not have more followers??? ily
“Women love what they can give. Men love what they can take.”
wow your skin looks great!
girl i want to visit you !!!
I relate to this video so much on so many levels.
Thank you, I needed this
I get that about being an oldest sibling and always being the one to plan everything. I'd love to date someone who planned our dates.
Maddie i absolutely love your top!! Purple is soooo ur color
Maddie, you are wonderful!
I LOVE U
clicked off of one of your videos to watch this video let’s goooo
lmao same i was watching the how to take your best nudes video when i got the notification
Gosh i love you so much
The perfect date you described, SAMEEEEEEEE! I want and neeedddddd thattt🤣🥰😍😍😍