for anyone trying to forgive themselves, try writing yourself an apology letter and get really deep like EVERYTHING you need to forgive yourself for and then read it to yourself in the mirror. you'll probably cry but it helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!!!
The part where you said “I need to forgive myself for not being able to predict if someone is going to be bad to me” WOW I really needed this video today. Thank you for being you 🤍
as an emotionally unavailable person who can't give what other people have asked for: please do not settle for the bare minimum. do not ignore your own needs. if you need more, and you can't get that from the person you're seeing, that is okay. ditch their ass, you can always do better. your happiness is more important!
As the same type of person I agree. I seek out relationships because I myself am suffering in this emotionally constipated state I'm in. But then I end up hurting people. Not by being rude but by being weird, standoffish, hot and then cold. Then I tell myself it's fine because the other person probably didn't care about me anyway, but much of the time I'm just and projecting. I'm really trying to work on it and trying to keep this truth about myself at the forefront of my mind instead of telling myself some kind of lie about the futility of relationships or something. I do feel very hurt when I hurt someone but that doesn't make it all that much better. It doesn't mean I can suddenly stop acting this way. Sooo yeah if you're someone who is already able to connect emotionally please consider yourself lucky and avoid people like me, find people like you.
@@HB-pz1cg Why can you not change it, does it not bother you enough or do you dislike people? Do you prefer to be emotionally lonely or do you just have trust issues? I'm truly interested to understand it more :)
@@user-xj4yv3qo3v It bothers me more than anything. Deep down I'm insecure and afraid. I can't fathom the thought that I could be loved. It would take confidence and courage to change my behavior. but it's difficult building confidence from scratch. Sometimes I make progress, but sometimes I end up back behind my wall.
Ugh I have fallen in love with my vulnerability, my beauty, my love for others. It is so romantic. Night drives and cooking alone. Not everything is pretty but everything can be appreciated.
Selfishly wishing this video came out a few months ago bc damn i needed to hear this... I am currently fresh out of a situationship where I have been hooking up ((very inconsistently)) with a man since April - asked for more communication and consistency considering we were being intimate, annnnnd the response i got back was horrific and made me feel like too much and that i should have not said anything at all. I even was the one who later apologized. ladies!! the advice in this video is absolute golden and in my opinion is all correct advice. thanks for this maddie ❤️ you honestly know how to make a gal feel better (and i'm happy i'm not the only one that has went through this)
The same walls that shield us from hurt are the ones that keep us from expanding emotionally. Being vulnerable is fucking scary. It is also the only way to have a deep connection with someone. We have to recognize this duality in order to gain perspective on ourselves! Thank you for the great video, Maddie.
the fact that we're on a similar journey is insane to me. you have NO IDEA how much hearing that i'm not too much meant to me. i always thought i was too much when i was asking for the bare fucking minimum. thank you so much madi💜
I'm not usually one to indulge in parasocial relationships, but I just can't get past how much I wish we were literally best friends. You just read my mind and know my experiences and tell me exactly what I need to hear EVERY WEEK. You should be billing my insurance company cause this is like free therapy. you're so lovely keep doing you ily bestie
deep conversations with friends just make me feel so fulfilled. Asking questions about yourself to yourself is important. There is nothing more beautiful than shamelessly being yourself and working on figuring out what you want and deserve from every relationship.
Every video of yours is such a banger, I can't believe how intelligent and compassionate of a person you are and how you seem to think of really profound, helpful, meaningful things ALL the time!! This was so nice to listen to
not to be dramatic, but MADDIE!, i literally screamed when i saw the title of this video. i have been experiencing this in my own life recently (lol stepping into the dating pool is like missing the step at the bottom of the stairs and stumbling forwards) and was hoping you’d make a video on the topic. i really appreciate and am drawn to the raw authenticity and vulnerability you exude in your videos. if you did another sleepover style video, that’d be so wonderful! thank you for all your hard work. your content has given me such clarity and guidance in life situations that give me anxiety.
You said you've been reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, and I almost screamed as I held my copy up to the screen. It's so amazing to hear other people talk about this book! Thank you so much for this video.
I’ve been feeling really lost over the last year. I would really appreciate you doing a video on finding balance in your life, seeking goals that fulfil you and building a positive day to day that reinforces your purpose. I enjoy how motivated you are and I feel my lust for life and excitement has gone completely down the drain. Thanks for always sharing the positivity and self growth that I hope I can achieve. Finding structure has just been so hard.
Maddie, thank you, i really needed this. I told a dear friend that I would’ve wanted us to go beyond our friendship and he said that he was not ready to go into a relationship. It felt weird cause our friendship was already emotionally and mentally intimate, I really believed we could be more. And it’s not like he said no to me, he said no to relationships! He said that he found relationships too “occlusive” and it’s weird cause we already were talking everyday!! My therapist eventually said that I wanted to define our relationship because I am defining myself, while he didn’t because he doesn’t want or is not ready to define himself (he is very insecure). So i just wanna say: Get into a relationship only if you think it’s good for you Do not force anything or anyone that doesn’t want you, it’s not worth your energy It is inevitable to lose some people on your way to the best version of yourself And lastly, recognize the people that love you the most. You already know them, there’s no need to find them elsewhere.
I feel this tbh. I am a cis straight male and I really enjoy the videos and the energy you put out. I also love always seeing others and there different perspectives from different walks of life. I feel as though even tho I’m very extroverted and expressive I seem to cap myself where all my true emotions lie. I always feel as though the way I carry myself and the way I express all of my feelings are out of anyone’s league to Handle. When you mentioned the stereotype of women being “too much,” it made me realize that I feel that when it comes to my masculinity and how I should act or feel due to social standards put on me to be someone I’m not. As a male I should act “as the provider” and more bullshit instead of just throwing those out the window and expressing my emotions. I have the same mentality of the fuck emotions and just let it go. I dodge every chance to seek out a partner or ask someone out because I have the fear of getting hurt. I’ve realized over time throwing my problems under the rug will never accomplish what I want. You know the cliché prince or knight in armor saving the women? I feel like the women in the situation as I have this weird desire to have some princess come by and save me from all my problems knowing that is unfathomably unrealistic. I’ve let myself freeze in time these past years when it comes to being so vulnerable due to my past experiences not working out in my perfect world that I envisioned. Thank you for this video! I really needed this honestly and as always looking forward to the next upload! Have a great afternoon to all! :)
"if I am too much, go find less" I remember reading that a bit ago and have really stuck to it. Don't settle for someone who thinks who you are is "too much" when you're just being yourself
Maddie, have you been told today how beautiful you are in every way possible?! Do you know how witty, hilarious, open hearted, open-minded and wonderful you are? Lemme tell you..I'm 40 years old and you feel like a younger sister and a teacher and a friend. Your relatability and transparency are very powerful! I think we're all blessed to be here..God Bless, mama
Solo travelling is the best thing I have done for myself! I have learned sooo fucking much about myself, who I am, what I want out of life, all that good stuff. So, definitely go on that trip
I struggled similarly before I met my fiancé almost 4 years ago. It took a lot for me to put myself back out there and I met him when I decided I was done with relationships for a while. He’s always been so responsive to what I need and we click perfectly. I felt for so long that I was too much to handle (because I’ve had many people tell me that) that I was scared of him rejecting me, but he exceeded all my expectations. Edit: I’m 21, I feel like I should say that sometimes lol. I’m happier than I have ever been because of my fiancé. I feel lucky to have met him so young, but the future is also unknown.
I really needed this and I’m crying on the train home, my friend introduced your channel to me today and I have never had such a huge weight lifted from my shoulders and such a huge insight and change in perspective Thank you so so so much
ive never connected to a youtuber whom ive never spoken to as much as i have with you. although im in a sparkling relationship, i feel sooo comforted by you?? youve helped me deal with self love and self value, with my view on others and with not taking things for granted. youre my inspiration and someone who not only leads me to the right path, but also helps me learn to read MYSELF to the right path. i appreciate you tons and idek where id be without you😭😭
Maddie! You always read my mind! Shame, being "too much", always feeling like it is my fault... you nailed it. You are so wise and so helpful. Thank you for sharing. Please do a solo trip. I think it is an awesome idea. Thank you for being you.💚
I feel all of this SO HARD. Shame is wild. One of the best takeaways from therapy has been self-forgiveness & compassion. I used to constantly beat myself up over past mistakes, and probably still do sometimes, but I've become a lot kinder and more forgiving of myself. My therapist told me 'You were trying your best and making the best choices you could with the information you had.' and just repeating that to myself feels like I'm giving my younger, less-informed self a hug.
You're totally fucking right, you have to be open to vulnerability but also forgive yourself when someone doesn't meet your standard, but also understanding. You totally rock and love your channel, you go girl ❤
I will forever thank whatever power that made your videos pop up in my recommended, you inspire me every day Maddie to be the person I want to be and not give a fuck what other people think, thank you ❤️🔥🍒
Everybody needs a Maddie in their life. I love to watch your videos bc I really learn something new every single time! It's the life advice nobody gives but everybody needs
You put my thoughts into words so perfectly. We are going through the same healing phase right now. You inspire me so much and push me everyday to be better to myself. I LOVE your channel and think it applies to so many girls. Legit my fav content creator/ channel ur the best I love you
Maddie, you have made such a difference in my life these past few months. Thank you for being you and making us feel valid. I LOVE YOU I learnt so much about myself and my relationships thanks to you 💜
I’d love to feel excited like that again 🥺 my one year relationship with someone that wasn’t able to give me what I need just ended and I miss them terribly. I don’t want anyone else, and I feel so disenchanted with love as a whole
Sometimes I feel like maybe it just wasn’t the right time for you to find someone so that you could build your presence on UA-cam I started watching your stuff back when you posted your first emotionally unavailable video on yt and your channel has grown so much since then, So cheers to that!
You have no idea how much I needed this conversation right now! My fiancé and I just broke up and I'm going through a really hard time. What ruined our relationship is bascially me not knowing what I want or not being honest about what I want or need in my life and in my relationship. You say you fear being "too much", I fear not being enough. As in not being fun or exciting enough to be with. I agree to things I don't really want to in order to not be bland or boring. Which has led to me not being myself and it's hard to love and be with someone when you're not sure who they are or if they really want the same things. I can't bland him for ending it. I have a lot of figuring myself out to do.
thank you so much Maddie, this is exactly what i needed to hear right now. over the past year i've struggled tremendously with the idea of being "too much," just because i have a lot of emotions and that same desire to be vulnerable with someone. this helped me reshape how i look at that- that it's a beautiful thing rather than something to be ashamed of. and if that doesn't fly with someone, i just have to look elsewhere and that's completely valid. i feel like i could talk about this for hours, and hearing it confirmed with you and so many people in the comments is truly heartwarming :') as for the solo trip- i say do it!! i recently went to chicago on a whim as my first ever solo travel experience, and it was amazing!!
i love this. ive been feeling the same way. im not sure if you know the song high school sweethearts by melanie martinez but thats the energy ive been in romantically minus a few parts of the songs but its such a vibe. something just changed in me this past summer with all this reflection and healing ive been doing. i lost motivation in life or rather excitement. i for a long time was settling romantically but now im excited to put all this love into myself and like you said, im not gonna turn down the loml if i meet them anytime soon but bitch im not settling for anything. and its so fucking refreshing to finally realize you don’t have to settle and there really are so many people out there that the things you’ve always dreamt of having in a relationship can be yours. but the first step of all this is to realize you have to be vulnerable and you have to stay true to yourself and your heart and not expect that the love of your life is every new person you’re attracted to. this is what always made me settle.
I didn’t know how much I needed this video till now. I’m on a situation when I know being vulnerable might help me communicate better with a person, but I’m too scared of a bad reaction and being hurt afterwards. It’s been in my head for a couple months now and you made me feel quite better about the way that situation impacted me, and who knows, maybe I’ll have the guts to share the way I feel with that person. Thank you! 💕
there's something about you that just feels so genuine and big brain and funny all at once. you're fantastic and i always feel like i've learned something when i've watched one of your videos, bless your heart
Geeez, what timing. I have put myself in the dating app game for the first time this May and OMG it’s so draining. I’m over it already. I can’t believe how much I related to this.
Can I just tell you how much discovering your channel has meant to me in recent weeks? I don't know if I'm quite your target audience and I have different struggles, but a lot of what you say resonates with me so deeply and forces me to re-evaluate things about myself, both emotionally and physically. Thank you for your enlightening content and your outlook. I would like to one day know what it's like to feel so positive about life and hopeful about the future. But I know what ever good things are coming for you, you deserve every single one.
a lot of what you talked about here resonates with me so much and it's incredibly therapeutic to hear it from another person, thank you for sharing💜 love this journey for you and I hope you find all you're looking for (hard yes on the solo trip btw)!! and remember - if someone tells you that you're "too much", let them go to find less🤷♀️
As someone whose never even considered or wanted a relationship and still don’t (I’m 19y/o) it’s interesting to hear about your experiences. Love your videos. Keep em’ up xx
Read a quote a few days ago about being too much. If I'm too much, go find less. And I think its so powerful like you were saying your not too much for someone you just aren't right for each other and that shouldn't be something to blane yourself for
Just recently started watching your UA-cam channel and never came across the emotionally unavailable videos. A few weeks ago I just woke up one day and deleted my accounts from all dating apps. I to was feeling drained and unfulfilled by it. I have also never been in a relationship lol. I’m going to go watch the other videos immediately!!! So far I feel pretty good about it. I’m excited for the journey and I’m excited to see yours. ❤️ you are so inspirational.
You are such a beautiful soul. You deserve anything and everything, and to make sure you get that is truly inspiring. You will help girls, and women of all ages, look at themselves and their self worth more thoroughly. For that, you have my highest of respect. 💋❤️ I hope to be like you with time and truly try to better myself for only me and no one else. 😊🥰
OMG I am feeling the same way. I'm like I'm a great person and I'm constantly giving to people who are not ready to receive or don't want to receive. And I don't have enough to constantly give to other's deep void that they have and have enough for me at the same time. Makes me feel thirsty for someone and that I am not worth it because I'm giving my best and my all and because they can't receive it, it makes me feel like what I'm giving is worthless and in return I am worthless. But deep down I know I am worth it ALL. I am the prize and giving to people who are emotionally unavailable makes me feel like I'm cheap even though I know I am worth more.
Your self-awareness is very refreshing. And you’re the only person on UA-cam that has genuinely made me laugh. I have gone down the Maddie rabbit hole 🕳🐇 and I love it here 😂👌🏽💕✨
you don't know what a good time in my life you've been able to allow me to hear these words and how much it recognizes so many of my own issues and concerns
I love love love this. I also have tended to run away when I feel things may become negative to kind of save myself from the pain- but I agree, it almost feels counterproductive in what may have been a productive relationship. Thank you for sharing your experience, and this book too!
You are definetly my biggest inspiration. Sometimes i get so stressed and lost and i feel that i can always go back to your videos for confort. You really give me hope that everything will be ok. I love you and the work that you do and Im so grateful for it💘
I love seeing you this happy girl, it suits you well and now you are excited again and not just going through it. It's refreshing and it's so healthy 💜
Love you Maddie!! There's another YTer who I adore, named Peter Monn and his motto is BE TOO MUCH! He's always been told that he's "too much", so he just embraces it and he's a total gem! Love this video :)
I think is one of my favourite youtube videos of all time. I've already watched it everyday since it's been out. Your wise words are so reassuring. I can't imagine a time in my life where I don't need to hear all the things you're saying. Thanks Maddie 🤩🤩
These videos feel like speaking to myself... we are going through some of the same things and realisations, its so crazy... you are much healthier than I am,clearly . Its so helpful to hear how you are dealing with this stuff and its so inspiring
I love the idea of not being able to say the wrong thing to the right person. In some of my disagreements with my ex I would say "these are my standards, these are my boundaries. if you can't respect them, then we shouldn't be doing this." and for a while he would take it as an ultimatum. It was hard to explain that it wasn't meant to be that. I wasn't threatening to break up with him, but simply acknowledging the fact if we can't agree on certain things the right decision is to change our relationship. It didn't mean that I didn't want to be in the relationship but it also didn't mean that I expected him to bend to my will to stay in it. A lot of the time it feels like people believe bending (reluctant, possibly harmful, change) in a relationship is how you fight for it, but I think you fight for it by learning more about each other and compromising enthusiastically for as long as you can. And that means putting it all on the table: this is what I want/need. Will you do that for me? If the answer is no, let's consider doing something else. Of course, I don't think this applies to petty things like where to store the condiments lol. But for the big stuff, absolutely. You should be able to speak freely, especially when it's about your needs.
If someone thinks you're too much, it's okay, they can find less. Let's not water down our relationship needs, our values and our wants.
for anyone trying to forgive themselves, try writing yourself an apology letter and get really deep like EVERYTHING you need to forgive yourself for and then read it to yourself in the mirror. you'll probably cry but it helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!!!
Thank you💛
@@grahamcrackerjay ofc
I would not be ready for the emotional breakdown that would give me 😗✌️
This is a great idea, thank you. I will be trying this soon!
@@thecaffinatedthrifter5499 it actually isn’t as bad as you may think i was crying a lot but it felt very relieving not like a usual break down
Unfortunately sometimes knowing your boundaries comes from having them broken before you knew what they were
I love how every video feels like a 2am conversation with a best friend, it’s so comforting :,)
i agree!!!
True, I don't have any friends so this is all I have haha
I totally feel the same way. Her vlogs do feel like those meaningful conversations I've had with a bestie
The part where you said “I need to forgive myself for not being able to predict if someone is going to be bad to me” WOW I really needed this video today. Thank you for being you 🤍
as an emotionally unavailable person who can't give what other people have asked for: please do not settle for the bare minimum. do not ignore your own needs. if you need more, and you can't get that from the person you're seeing, that is okay. ditch their ass, you can always do better. your happiness is more important!
As the same type of person I agree. I seek out relationships because I myself am suffering in this emotionally constipated state I'm in. But then I end up hurting people. Not by being rude but by being weird, standoffish, hot and then cold. Then I tell myself it's fine because the other person probably didn't care about me anyway, but much of the time I'm just and projecting. I'm really trying to work on it and trying to keep this truth about myself at the forefront of my mind instead of telling myself some kind of lie about the futility of relationships or something. I do feel very hurt when I hurt someone but that doesn't make it all that much better. It doesn't mean I can suddenly stop acting this way. Sooo yeah if you're someone who is already able to connect emotionally please consider yourself lucky and avoid people like me, find people like you.
I needed to hear this today
@@HB-pz1cg Why can you not change it, does it not bother you enough or do you dislike people? Do you prefer to be emotionally lonely or do you just have trust issues? I'm truly interested to understand it more :)
@@user-xj4yv3qo3v It bothers me more than anything. Deep down I'm insecure and afraid. I can't fathom the thought that I could be loved. It would take confidence and courage to change my behavior. but it's difficult building confidence from scratch. Sometimes I make progress, but sometimes I end up back behind my wall.
Thiss. There is nothing sadder than a beautiful soul watering themself down to try and gain the approval of someone who does not have enough to give
a phrase that has been really empowering for me is "if I'm too much, go find less."
I love that 🔥
I love this 💕
Yess
CLICKED FASTER THAN MADDIE CAN SAY BABYYYY
Ugh I have fallen in love with my vulnerability, my beauty, my love for others. It is so romantic. Night drives and cooking alone. Not everything is pretty but everything can be appreciated.
love this
Ugh love this comment. Same, girl, same.
Selfishly wishing this video came out a few months ago bc damn i needed to hear this... I am currently fresh out of a situationship where I have been hooking up ((very inconsistently)) with a man since April - asked for more communication and consistency considering we were being intimate, annnnnd the response i got back was horrific and made me feel like too much and that i should have not said anything at all. I even was the one who later apologized. ladies!! the advice in this video is absolute golden and in my opinion is all correct advice. thanks for this maddie ❤️ you honestly know how to make a gal feel better (and i'm happy i'm not the only one that has went through this)
The same walls that shield us from hurt are the ones that keep us from expanding emotionally. Being vulnerable is fucking scary. It is also the only way to have a deep connection with someone. We have to recognize this duality in order to gain perspective on ourselves! Thank you for the great video, Maddie.
the fact that we're on a similar journey is insane to me. you have NO IDEA how much hearing that i'm not too much meant to me. i always thought i was too much when i was asking for the bare fucking minimum. thank you so much madi💜
You’re on a WHAT GIRL ? Lmao nah I’m playin I know what you mean
THE RUN IN THE BEGINNING OMG 😻🎶
I'm not usually one to indulge in parasocial relationships, but I just can't get past how much I wish we were literally best friends. You just read my mind and know my experiences and tell me exactly what I need to hear EVERY WEEK. You should be billing my insurance company cause this is like free therapy. you're so lovely keep doing you ily bestie
This is also so true to friendships as well. With the right friends intimacy and vulnerability and honest appreciation will never be the wrong thing!
a good quote that helped me realise i was enough even when he made me feel otherwise:
'You can be the whole package and still be at the wrong address'
I also once read “You can be the most meatiest, sweetest, juiciest peach, but there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches”.. ♥️
deep conversations with friends just make me feel so fulfilled. Asking questions about yourself to yourself is important. There is nothing more beautiful than shamelessly being yourself and working on figuring out what you want and deserve from every relationship.
Every video of yours is such a banger, I can't believe how intelligent and compassionate of a person you are and how you seem to think of really profound, helpful, meaningful things ALL the time!! This was so nice to listen to
Girl You’ve had such a positive impact on my mental health you don’t even know💛😌
Agreed!
wow would love to see a Damon Dominique & Maddie Dragsbaek red wine talk
I wish I could like this more than once
found you after declaring myself no longer dating under similar circumstances - these phones are always listening, but this time i’m happy about it❤️
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAH LOL, at least this time did something good for you
@@carolinaquezada7363 RIGHT
The perfect thing to distract me from the worst date i had in almost a year :’)
not to be dramatic, but MADDIE!, i literally screamed when i saw the title of this video. i have been experiencing this in my own life recently (lol stepping into the dating pool is like missing the step at the bottom of the stairs and stumbling forwards) and was hoping you’d make a video on the topic. i really appreciate and am drawn to the raw authenticity and vulnerability you exude in your videos. if you did another sleepover style video, that’d be so wonderful! thank you for all your hard work. your content has given me such clarity and guidance in life situations that give me anxiety.
I love that analogy!! Hope You don’t mind that f I borrow it.
@@claudiaharris2873 ofc you can use it, happy it resonated w you! 😊
You said you've been reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, and I almost screamed as I held my copy up to the screen. It's so amazing to hear other people talk about this book! Thank you so much for this video.
I’ve been feeling really lost over the last year. I would really appreciate you doing a video on finding balance in your life, seeking goals that fulfil you and building a positive day to day that reinforces your purpose. I enjoy how motivated you are and I feel my lust for life and excitement has gone completely down the drain. Thanks for always sharing the positivity and self growth that I hope I can achieve. Finding structure has just been so hard.
Maddie, thank you, i really needed this. I told a dear friend that I would’ve wanted us to go beyond our friendship and he said that he was not ready to go into a relationship. It felt weird cause our friendship was already emotionally and mentally intimate, I really believed we could be more. And it’s not like he said no to me, he said no to relationships! He said that he found relationships too “occlusive” and it’s weird cause we already were talking everyday!!
My therapist eventually said that I wanted to define our relationship because I am defining myself, while he didn’t because he doesn’t want or is not ready to define himself (he is very insecure).
So i just wanna say:
Get into a relationship only if you think it’s good for you
Do not force anything or anyone that doesn’t want you, it’s not worth your energy
It is inevitable to lose some people on your way to the best version of yourself
And lastly, recognize the people that love you the most. You already know them, there’s no need to find them elsewhere.
♥️
I feel this tbh. I am a cis straight male and I really enjoy the videos and the energy you put out. I also love always seeing others and there different perspectives from different walks of life. I feel as though even tho I’m very extroverted and expressive I seem to cap myself where all my true emotions lie. I always feel as though the way I carry myself and the way I express all of my feelings are out of anyone’s league to Handle. When you mentioned the stereotype of women being “too much,” it made me realize that I feel that when it comes to my masculinity and how I should act or feel due to social standards put on me to be someone I’m not. As a male I should act “as the provider” and more bullshit instead of just throwing those out the window and expressing my emotions. I have the same mentality of the fuck emotions and just let it go. I dodge every chance to seek out a partner or ask someone out because I have the fear of getting hurt. I’ve realized over time throwing my problems under the rug will never accomplish what I want. You know the cliché prince or knight in armor saving the women? I feel like the women in the situation as I have this weird desire to have some princess come by and save me from all my problems knowing that is unfathomably unrealistic. I’ve let myself freeze in time these past years when it comes to being so vulnerable due to my past experiences not working out in my perfect world that I envisioned. Thank you for this video! I really needed this honestly and as always looking forward to the next upload! Have a great afternoon to all! :)
"if I am too much, go find less" I remember reading that a bit ago and have really stuck to it. Don't settle for someone who thinks who you are is "too much" when you're just being yourself
Maddie, have you been told today how beautiful you are in every way possible?! Do you know how witty, hilarious, open hearted, open-minded and wonderful you are? Lemme tell you..I'm 40 years old and you feel like a younger sister and a teacher and a friend. Your relatability and transparency are very powerful! I think we're all blessed to be here..God Bless, mama
Solo travelling is the best thing I have done for myself! I have learned sooo fucking much about myself, who I am, what I want out of life, all that good stuff. So, definitely go on that trip
Would love to hear what your favorite destinations to go solo have been!!
I struggled similarly before I met my fiancé almost 4 years ago. It took a lot for me to put myself back out there and I met him when I decided I was done with relationships for a while. He’s always been so responsive to what I need and we click perfectly. I felt for so long that I was too much to handle (because I’ve had many people tell me that) that I was scared of him rejecting me, but he exceeded all my expectations.
Edit: I’m 21, I feel like I should say that sometimes lol. I’m happier than I have ever been because of my fiancé. I feel lucky to have met him so young, but the future is also unknown.
Congratulations!! 🤩😊 I’m glad this person makes you happy and I wish you two even happier days to come!
@@cuzumakemyearfquake Thank you 😊
I really needed this and I’m crying on the train home, my friend introduced your channel to me today and I have never had such a huge weight lifted from my shoulders and such a huge insight and change in perspective
Thank you so so so much
ive never connected to a youtuber whom ive never spoken to as much as i have with you. although im in a sparkling relationship, i feel sooo comforted by you?? youve helped me deal with self love and self value, with my view on others and with not taking things for granted. youre my inspiration and someone who not only leads me to the right path, but also helps me learn to read MYSELF to the right path. i appreciate you tons and idek where id be without you😭😭
The way that your videos make me feel so safe and seen... thank you for being you. Also PLEASE go on and film a solo trip!!
Maddie! You always read my mind! Shame, being "too much", always feeling like it is my fault... you nailed it. You are so wise and so helpful. Thank you for sharing. Please do a solo trip. I think it is an awesome idea. Thank you for being you.💚
15:27 miss mango getting comfy in the bg just stealing the scene like the little star she is ✨♥️
I feel all of this SO HARD. Shame is wild. One of the best takeaways from therapy has been self-forgiveness & compassion. I used to constantly beat myself up over past mistakes, and probably still do sometimes, but I've become a lot kinder and more forgiving of myself. My therapist told me 'You were trying your best and making the best choices you could with the information you had.' and just repeating that to myself feels like I'm giving my younger, less-informed self a hug.
You're totally fucking right, you have to be open to vulnerability but also forgive yourself when someone doesn't meet your standard, but also understanding.
You totally rock and love your channel, you go girl
❤
The TITLE oh babey this is gonna be a banger ❤️❤️😭😭😭😭
I will forever thank whatever power that made your videos pop up in my recommended, you inspire me every day Maddie to be the person I want to be and not give a fuck what other
people think, thank you ❤️🔥🍒
Everybody needs a Maddie in their life. I love to watch your videos bc I really learn something new every single time! It's the life advice nobody gives but everybody needs
Damn I feel like you snatched these thoughts from my mind and expressed them better than I ever could. Thanks for sharing!!!
You put my thoughts into words so perfectly. We are going through the same healing phase right now. You inspire me so much and push me everyday to be better to myself. I LOVE your channel and think it applies to so many girls. Legit my fav content creator/ channel ur the best I love you
Maddie, you have made such a difference in my life these past few months. Thank you for being you and making us feel valid. I LOVE YOU
I learnt so much about myself and my relationships thanks to you 💜
I’d love to feel excited like that again 🥺 my one year relationship with someone that wasn’t able to give me what I need just ended and I miss them terribly. I don’t want anyone else, and I feel so disenchanted with love as a whole
Sometimes I feel like maybe it just wasn’t the right time for you to find someone so that you could build your presence on UA-cam
I started watching your stuff back when you posted your first emotionally unavailable video on yt and your channel has grown so much since then,
So cheers to that!
You have no idea how much I needed this conversation right now! My fiancé and I just broke up and I'm going through a really hard time. What ruined our relationship is bascially me not knowing what I want or not being honest about what I want or need in my life and in my relationship. You say you fear being "too much", I fear not being enough. As in not being fun or exciting enough to be with. I agree to things I don't really want to in order to not be bland or boring. Which has led to me not being myself and it's hard to love and be with someone when you're not sure who they are or if they really want the same things. I can't bland him for ending it. I have a lot of figuring myself out to do.
Omg girl you can actually sing 😲 ❤️
girl i love you this helped so much
thank you so much Maddie, this is exactly what i needed to hear right now. over the past year i've struggled tremendously with the idea of being "too much," just because i have a lot of emotions and that same desire to be vulnerable with someone. this helped me reshape how i look at that- that it's a beautiful thing rather than something to be ashamed of. and if that doesn't fly with someone, i just have to look elsewhere and that's completely valid. i feel like i could talk about this for hours, and hearing it confirmed with you and so many people in the comments is truly heartwarming :') as for the solo trip- i say do it!! i recently went to chicago on a whim as my first ever solo travel experience, and it was amazing!!
this video + comments section is healing me, y'all.
This is such an important discussion. Glad this exists!
This topic couldn't have been more on time and relevant for me right now ❤
I felt this on such a deep level I’m excited for life
YES book a solo trip! This video really came when I needed it.
girl your ENERGY omg😩😩😍😍
i love this. ive been feeling the same way. im not sure if you know the song high school sweethearts by melanie martinez but thats the energy ive been in romantically minus a few parts of the songs but its such a vibe. something just changed in me this past summer with all this reflection and healing ive been doing. i lost motivation in life or rather excitement. i for a long time was settling romantically but now im excited to put all this love into myself and like you said, im not gonna turn down the loml if i meet them anytime soon but bitch im not settling for anything. and its so fucking refreshing to finally realize you don’t have to settle and there really are so many people out there that the things you’ve always dreamt of having in a relationship can be yours. but the first step of all this is to realize you have to be vulnerable and you have to stay true to yourself and your heart and not expect that the love of your life is every new person you’re attracted to. this is what always made me settle.
Why did I cry so much while watching this one?!!
I didn’t know how much I needed this video till now. I’m on a situation when I know being vulnerable might help me communicate better with a person, but I’m too scared of a bad reaction and being hurt afterwards. It’s been in my head for a couple months now and you made me feel quite better about the way that situation impacted me, and who knows, maybe I’ll have the guts to share the way I feel with that person. Thank you! 💕
there's something about you that just feels so genuine and big brain and funny all at once. you're fantastic and i always feel like i've learned something when i've watched one of your videos, bless your heart
wowowow the timing of this video is just amazing. I needed to hear everything you said in this video. Thank you for being the big sister I never had.
Geeez, what timing. I have put myself in the dating app game for the first time this May and OMG it’s so draining. I’m over it already. I can’t believe how much I related to this.
omg the shame chat tho. i needed that. you are really wise, thank you
Can I just tell you how much discovering your channel has meant to me in recent weeks? I don't know if I'm quite your target audience and I have different struggles, but a lot of what you say resonates with me so deeply and forces me to re-evaluate things about myself, both emotionally and physically. Thank you for your enlightening content and your outlook. I would like to one day know what it's like to feel so positive about life and hopeful about the future. But I know what ever good things are coming for you, you deserve every single one.
I recently found your channel and I'm so happy I did, it's such a nice community here❤
"The fear of being hurt isn´t productive." THAT. I shall try my best to remind myself of that whenever necessary. Thank you!
Girl, it's sooo relaxing to listen to your videos while playing tetris
THE INTRO WAS EVERYTHING MADDIE YESS
a lot of what you talked about here resonates with me so much and it's incredibly therapeutic to hear it from another person, thank you for sharing💜 love this journey for you and I hope you find all you're looking for (hard yes on the solo trip btw)!! and remember - if someone tells you that you're "too much", let them go to find less🤷♀️
I always feel so comforted after your videos - it's like real self care x
As someone whose never even considered or wanted a relationship and still don’t (I’m 19y/o) it’s interesting to hear about your experiences. Love your videos. Keep em’ up xx
Read a quote a few days ago about being too much. If I'm too much, go find less. And I think its so powerful like you were saying your not too much for someone you just aren't right for each other and that shouldn't be something to blane yourself for
Just recently started watching your UA-cam channel and never came across the emotionally unavailable videos. A few weeks ago I just woke up one day and deleted my accounts from all dating apps. I to was feeling drained and unfulfilled by it. I have also never been in a relationship lol. I’m going to go watch the other videos immediately!!! So far I feel pretty good about it. I’m excited for the journey and I’m excited to see yours. ❤️ you are so inspirational.
You are such a beautiful soul. You deserve anything and everything, and to make sure you get that is truly inspiring. You will help girls, and women of all ages, look at themselves and their self worth more thoroughly. For that, you have my highest of respect. 💋❤️ I hope to be like you with time and truly try to better myself for only me and no one else. 😊🥰
OMG I am feeling the same way. I'm like I'm a great person and I'm constantly giving to people who are not ready to receive or don't want to receive. And I don't have enough to constantly give to other's deep void that they have and have enough for me at the same time. Makes me feel thirsty for someone and that I am not worth it because I'm giving my best and my all and because they can't receive it, it makes me feel like what I'm giving is worthless and in return I am worthless. But deep down I know I am worth it ALL. I am the prize and giving to people who are emotionally unavailable makes me feel like I'm cheap even though I know I am worth more.
Your self-awareness is very refreshing. And you’re the only person on UA-cam that has genuinely made me laugh. I have gone down the Maddie rabbit hole 🕳🐇 and I love it here 😂👌🏽💕✨
yUH GET INTO ITTTTT.
you don't know what a good time in my life you've been able to allow me to hear these words and how much it recognizes so many of my own issues and concerns
I love love love this. I also have tended to run away when I feel things may become negative to kind of save myself from the pain- but I agree, it almost feels counterproductive in what may have been a productive relationship. Thank you for sharing your experience, and this book too!
You are definetly my biggest inspiration. Sometimes i get so stressed and lost and i feel that i can always go back to your videos for confort. You really give me hope that everything will be ok. I love you and the work that you do and
Im so grateful for it💘
i just started the video and girl your BARS i’m
obsessed w this glimpse of your voice 😭❤️
YES TO THE SOLO TRIP. KEEP THRIVING AND EXPLORING YOUR VULNERABILITY BESTIE. LOVE YOU.
When I watch your videos it's like talking to a friend, and I love it... Your energy is contagious, you thrive girl🔥❤️
I love seeing you this happy girl, it suits you well and now you are excited again and not just going through it. It's refreshing and it's so healthy 💜
i can't even explain how much i needed to hear this right now. your videos make me feel so validated and less alone. thank u maddie 💕
A Trip Alone Sounds so healing and wonderful! U should absolutely do it 💜💜
I couldn’t click on it faster. Thank you for your words, they’re literally a balm for the soul 💕
Love you Maddie!! There's another YTer who I adore, named Peter Monn and his motto is BE TOO MUCH! He's always been told that he's "too much", so he just embraces it and he's a total gem! Love this video :)
I think is one of my favourite youtube videos of all time. I've already watched it everyday since it's been out. Your wise words are so reassuring. I can't imagine a time in my life where I don't need to hear all the things you're saying. Thanks Maddie 🤩🤩
I love this so much
Girl If u knew how much better you’re making this cold rainy summer day??? I love your channel sm💓
Yes about the solo trip! I think it would allow you to wrap it all up and know for good that you’re ready!
All I can say is thank you for being you like damn your existence on this platform is healing so many people, myself included ❤️
every single video you make is healing❤️
I've literally watched your last 2 videos saying "amen sis" throughout the whole videos
These videos feel like speaking to myself... we are going through some of the same things and realisations, its so crazy... you are much healthier than I am,clearly . Its so helpful to hear how you are dealing with this stuff and its so inspiring
I love her this is so comforting
you are such a genuine authentic light in this world.
I love the idea of not being able to say the wrong thing to the right person. In some of my disagreements with my ex I would say "these are my standards, these are my boundaries. if you can't respect them, then we shouldn't be doing this." and for a while he would take it as an ultimatum. It was hard to explain that it wasn't meant to be that. I wasn't threatening to break up with him, but simply acknowledging the fact if we can't agree on certain things the right decision is to change our relationship. It didn't mean that I didn't want to be in the relationship but it also didn't mean that I expected him to bend to my will to stay in it. A lot of the time it feels like people believe bending (reluctant, possibly harmful, change) in a relationship is how you fight for it, but I think you fight for it by learning more about each other and compromising enthusiastically for as long as you can. And that means putting it all on the table: this is what I want/need. Will you do that for me? If the answer is no, let's consider doing something else. Of course, I don't think this applies to petty things like where to store the condiments lol. But for the big stuff, absolutely. You should be able to speak freely, especially when it's about your needs.
So happy that this update is here !! :D