Click here sbird.co/3CiqJhu and use my code MADDIE55 to get 55% OFF your first month at Scentbird. Comment below what your fav fragrance is!! I need more recommendations to try!!
Angel by Mugler…. It is musky yet it smells like honey. And it’s deep and rich and Amazing. You will smell DELICIOUS. Also, thank you next by Ariana grande. It is a smoky and also musky vanilla. And lastly, perfect by Marc jacobs. It is more flowery and powdery. Gives you a very spring time feeling and it’s great.
for those of y'all looking for a recap: 1. how do they react when you communicate your feelings? 2. does this person belittle your interests and act as if your hobbies are beneath them? 3. has this person proven to be reliable and consistent in pursuing you? 4. has this person made an effort with making dates special? 5. do they offer you innocent affection? are they respectful of your body? love you maddie keep on keepin on
i've never been on a real date. im 22 years old and graduating college and I've never had a partner, my first kiss, my first time, literally fucking nothing. but I've searched and searched and searched (i could go on) through dating apps and through my college and it wasn't until i watched your videos last year that i realized i wasn't doing this because i wanted a connection. instead i wanted validation from another human that i was loved and worthy when i didn't believe it about myself. so i deleted the dating apps and im spending this year learning to fall in love with myself. thank you for your videos and your platform. you're making a difference
You are not alone! Im also 22 and never had a partner, had sex, etc. Sometimes its hard but i have to remind myself that everyones path in life is different and theres nothing wrong about that. Hope this helps a little🌻💛🌻💛
One thing I will say about putting in effort to plan dates- people show effort in different ways! My boyfriend is horrible at planning things, it makes him really anxious, but he shows up in his own ways. Don't make excuses for people, but if you are communicating well, you will see their effort in the ways they show it.
This is so true! My partner is neurodivergent and planning dates and holidays is NOT his thing because it's overwhelming, but he shows his love and care for me in so many other ways that I don't mind taking on that responsibility of planner - I wouldn't do it if I didn't get some joy out of it, and he appreciates me showing my love for him in that way.
The part about people respecting your hobbies and such hit home. I find myself hiding things or keeping myself toned down for people because they don’t make me feel encouraged to indulge in my passions
Hey Maddie, I am an autistic gay guy in my twenties and your videos really help me a lot. It made me realise I always settled for people who are really not worth the love I give. Thank you. I wrote down the points you make to help guide when I am dating again 😊
100% agree about having traditionally feminine interests be belittled! I let my boyfriend choose the music in my car for YEARS because I felt judged when I put on my “girly” music. I’ve had to completely retrain myself to assert that my taste in films, tv, music, books is equally as valid.
I'm boutta cry rn bc you just made me realize that I wasn't getting half of what I needed from my last relationship. I feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner and ending things or questioning them based on how I felt. I always thought I was blowing things out of proportion and being too picky, but you sticking to these standards makes me feel so much better about how I felt when they happened to me.
YES, what you said about some men belittling hobbies that are typically considered to be more "feminine." It is so disrespectful and too often normalized and treated as something that women should accept. If he belittles "feminine" hobbies- thank u, next.
Dating is SOOOO uncomfortable sometimes especially when you date men... There's a lot of things they do that can be really hurtful that is unfortunately normalized by society so you can't really be upset.. you can communicate and grow with them but it still hurts and nothing can take back the experience
Months ago, I wrote a comment on one of your videos saying that the guy I was dating was making me feel awful, after saying he would try harder to communicate and ended up not going through with it. After going through a really hard time, I just started to date again and I'm back from a first date with a guy that, while not my usual type, was super communicative and not afraid to talk about feelings and what he's looking for, while also asking the questions back to me and taking my answers into account. I'm so proud of myself for trying something different and actively looking for someone who's gonna be able to meet my needs. I feel like your videos definitely helped me through this journey and will continue to encourage me to look for the love that I deserve, and for that I thank you so much!!! Wish you the best Maddie!
felt like you were speaking directly to me in that affirmations portion holy shit. I always want to run from negative emotions and vulnerability bit you're so right. the point is not to avoid those feelings, the point is to become more comfortable navigating them. thank you for sharing this today, I needed it. your videos are always a treasure, love hearing your thoughts!!
"Are you reaping your happiness from the effort that you put in, and they just showed up." This describes my last relationship so well, but I never quite had the words for it. Every single video of yours does the same thing- gives insight into my own life while being completely entertaining and beautiful in its own right.
I've also had people look down on my interests and passions, they thought I was superficial just beacuse I like and study fashion, I love beautiful paintings (which is not art you have to 'think about') and I listen to kpop music. Some tried to package it as a joke and other ones straight up said that they thought my interests were awful. That hurts tbh
You sound so dope. And your interests are really similar to mine. But I feel you on that. Never let somebody belittle what you love. Your interests are really nice!
Love to see you flourishing! I’d love to see a video about innocent touch vs non innocent bc this is such an important thought. When you feel pressured all the time to be sexual it can fuck with your head.
Just dropping this comment into the void to say that this video was exactly what I needed to see today! I'm a long time (happily) single pringle but I've just started dating someone who I really like. Usually I'm not a romantic so opening myself up to potentially be hurt by someone is a scary experience and I have been getting in my head about potential ways it could go wrong. The list of questions really reassured me because he has literally met all of the criteria (very open and honest about his feelings, makes me feel good about myself, put in the effort to organise a wonderful date). Plus it reminded me to embrace the feelings of discomfort with the early stages of dating and not be afraid to put myself out there. Thank you!!!
It's incredible just how much purple eyeshadow makes your beautiful eyes pop! That hair and makeup combo is everything 💕 Also, that question about respect and boundaries - so, so important. My last relationship had many good aspects to it but I never felt in control of my sexuality around him, and it really f*cked me up mentally for years, even though we aren't together anymore. I'm just starting to recognize my boundaries and how valid they are.
About 2 weeks ago I became single from a 4 year relationship I was in. I always planned the dates. At first I didn’t mind doing that because we were having a good time together, but I was tired of putting in all of the effort and him not.. I could never communicate how I felt about anything because to him I was either being too emotional or “letting everything get to me”. I would try to communicate about how I needed more affection and romantic gestures from him to truly feel loved (saying “I love you” isn’t enough for me) and all he would say was “im not that kind of person”. The video you did where the main thing was “you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person” really directed me to ending this relationship. It helped me so much just like all of your videos do. I’m so glad I found your channel! You’ve really have become my comfort UA-camr and I look forward to every video you put out!!!!
I feel like me and you are on the same wavelength 😩 Singledom (after a breakup specifically) has given me clarity on what I want as well. In my last relationship, I felt like I gave my 100% to that person all the time but it was never reciprocated to the same degree. Lol I don’t even need elaborately planned dates, I just want somebody that is consistently excited to be with me. It’s not too much to ask for a phone call every night and an ounce or two of interest in how I’m doing. It’s not too much to expect my partner to make time for me and be the one to come visit me. It’s crazy how long I could justify their lack of effort and accept less than I deserve. It’s true, I can’t make anybody want me and why would I even try to do that? I am absolutely not going to beg for the bare minimum. I could listen to you speak all day. You hit it on the nose, every time. Thanks for doing what you do. 💜💜💜
Oh my god. Being enthralled by your own effort. That -- that was a truth bomb which has kinda blown up my perception of my effort in a relationship. Girl. Thank you. Guru lady -- tell me more. Tell me all the things. I am here to learn.
Yessss! I fell for a boy who communicated his emotions so well. I fell so hard. I looked over all the parts that didn’t work for me because I fell so hard. He did not react well when I told him my emotions. What a good question! I love your questions and content. You and your content make me feel very seen and I’m so glad I found your content a few months ago! You go!
"Are you putting in effort to impress them and just like reaping your happiness based off of the effort YOU put in" really gave some perspective. Thank you
These are SUCH amazing thoughts to keep in mind while dating. I am continually getting into relationships where I feel amazing when I’m with them, but when I’m not with them I’m absolutely wracked with anxiety because subconsciously I can tell that they aren’t fully committed and don’t want to be with me. My new resolution for myself going forward is to stop settling for people who I need to chase. From now on we only date people who show the fuck up!!!
When you put in the effort to patiently and bravely cultivate understanding and clarity and kindness and love in yourself, including choosing to abandon forcing anything, fear-driven action, and clinging to expectations after you’ve realized how little these qualities serve your intentions and happiness- from there what aligns with that space will naturally arise. 💜
I like anime and kpop and I’ve had a guy make fun of me on a first date before saying that it’s immature to like cartoons at my age… yeaaahhh… noooo…. It’s a no from me. I didn’t make fun of him for liking NASCAR even though I have no interest in it. Don’t belittle people’s interests even if it doesn’t align with your interests!!! Let people have nice things!!
I feel so lucky that I pretty much "stumbled" into my relationship with my partner. He and our relationship hits pretty much all the boxes you're talking about. Maybe it's because I was 27 when I met him, so I knew what I has looking for. The only difference in what I was looking vs. What Maddie is looking for is sociability. I am not very outgoing, so I was looking for someone who didn't need to go out every weekend. That really helped during the worst parts of covid-lockdown. Our relationship flourished! Love your content! Love your spirit! Keep going strong!💪
I really wished I had access to ur videos when I started dating... would've saved me so much heartache and hurt. Like what I let people do to me because I didn't respect myself enough to set boundaries... I'm in a really happy relationship now but I just wished I had a healthier dating experience when I was younger. It's like u said in another video. That kind of naive or just tender love... I never got that when I started dating and that really sucks
at the beginning of 2021 when i saw your videos about quitting dating for the year, i told myself i’d do the same but ended up caving in and got involved in what became my worst relationship yet. he really hurt me and when i finally tried dating again i was having trauma responses to flirting :/ inspired by you, i decided to commit to not dating this year for real this time. i realized after that relationship how insecure and vulnerable i was. i ignored so many red flags and made decisions that went against my values and i need to work on myself to make sure it never happens again. your videos have been so helpful for me! after i watched your end of year update video i made my own list of things to ask myself while dating and i read it every so often to remind myself not to compromise or settle. i’m so grateful to you for sharing your experience with us because it’s already helped me so much! i’m so happy to see you flourishing right now and i’m excited to hear all about how dating goes for you! :’)
the HUHUHR sneer after saying "I had a guy tell me to quit youtube" has me dying. The audacity of that person to say that-but also, this is your creative space and you're wildly successful doing it. Here for you and your videos
Man I just hope you find your person & it all goes well - partly for the selfish reason that I can't wait to hear you talk about all the things that come from navigating being in a healthy relationship & the wisdom that comes from that because you have so much to say & I never seem to tire of hearing it. But also you deserve it so much & are obviously in such a good place to get more out of being in a good relationship than most people I've ever seen & I'm so excited for you whenever that happens.
I just got out of a 3 year relationship and I’ve been rewatching all of your emotionally available and unavailable videos and it is really getting me through it🥺🥰 I am obsessed with how open and honest you get! It really helps me have those tough conversations with myself:))
What I love most about you is that you don't only show me what I want to be like in future dating, but also what I want the other person to be like. I get how 'duhhh' this is, cause it's often your whole god damn point 😂 But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be hella appreciated ✌️❤️
oh, i know! i've talked about this in a lot of other videos hahaha when i say too much, i'm not saying it as a bad thing! more in the vein of "if i'm too much, you can go and find less". it's a celebration!
"we start doing things for love instead of from love" man those words just pierced through my heart and open a box of memories from my past relationship. I tried so hard to find validation in other people. Im glad i kinda had an epiphany one day and decided that i should stop trying so hard to make people happy with me and just be myself for once for my own sake. Im still in that road and you're helping me with the journey. Amazing video as always 💕💖
9:15 I'm having thoughts of breaking up with my bf because he does that a lot like when I'm mad I try to talk to him about how I'm feeling but he just ignores it and change the subject till I'm over it and then I lash out at my family because of how stressed he has me and I hate that I'm hurting my loved ones cause of this guy
I'm 25 but I wish I was as mature and confident as you are regarding dating. I'm shy and anxious and first dates makes me really nervous. It's difficult for me to be open about my interests and feeling, so people usually think I am more shallow and boring than I really am. I would really want to be just myself and spontaneous during dates. However I am trying... This years I started therapy and following contents that make me feel more confident, like yours. So thank you for your help ♥️
I'm french, so maybe we don't have the same norms around dating, but I agree with all of your questions so far except the "effort" for dates. I've been in long term relationships and I'm in a fairly new and passionate relationship now and I never did "special" impressive dates nor do I like them very much, specially in the beginning. I prefer a more natural and casual approach, I do special "effort" dates only with people that I already have an history behind and I think it's a more safe approach considering the "love bombing" risk of the beginning of a relationship. In my experience the more "spectacular" it is in the first few weeks, the more toxic it turns out after, but that's just me maybe.
These questions are designed for father along in a connection- more in that “what are we/where is this going” stage. But for me, “effort” on dates is really just defined as someone being thoughtful (ex. I know you love wine so I booked us a tasting at this place down the road that’s supposed to be really good). It’s not necessarily impressive in terms of cost or accessibility but more in terms of, oh you’ve been listening to me and are being thoughtful about where you wanna take me/what we should do :)
your videos are always so incredible, I discovered you when you were making the emotionally unavailable series and seeing you blossom from that experience is just so beautiful to see
Ahh this is just what I needed to hear today! I’m navigating a fairly new romantic connection and after spending some time with him today I’m left feeling like we should part ways. Standing up for my boundaries has felt SO difficult and I especially resonated with what you said about the longer you invest in someone the easier it is to overlook the incompatibilities. Thank you so much for those beautiful affirmations and I hope you find what you’re looking for! Much love xxx
I love your point about partners not taking hobbies associated with women seriously. To your point, makeup, fashion, etc. is often considered frivolous by those who do not enjoy them. They're associated with mindless consumerism rather than their inherent artistic value. Though consumerism is an issue in our culture, reducing women-associated hobbies to it is reductionist and devalues their role in feminine culture.
I moved to Paris a month ago and stepped up my dating life since then haha, I'm going on a lot of dates as well and it's so nice to follow your process as well 😊
YO I feel like you would be so good at doing a guided meditation. Like you're so eloquent and you have a beautiful voice!! Just putting that out there. I'd listen to it :)
As someone who has consumed a LOT of UA-cam videos, it's not so commun to find aesthetically pleasing, helpful and fun videos that flow well and you do make those! I never find myself speeding up or skipping parts it doooes take talent. Felt like saying this for anyone disrepecting your job LOL
I'm not big on leaving comments to UA-cam videos, but I just appreciate your presence in my life a lot. If I'm being honest, I often hesitate to watch your videos related to love and dating because they often make me cry and sometimes I'm just not emotionally up for it haha. I just see so much of myself and my experience in what you share with us and it's often a stab right in the trauma lol but it is so incredibly helpful to hear you talk through these things. I genuinely appreciate your advice and vulnerability. Thank you. I'm so proud of you for all you've accomplished, I admire you very much, and I'm so happy you are able to be a fulltime UA-camr now!!!
This video resonated with me so deeply, after 4 years of being single by choice I am now starting to date someone and I have found myself unconsciously asking myself the exact same questions you do :) it felt incredibly reassuring for someone to put into words the "criteria" I have set out for my relationships this time around
Omggg this video really hit me! I’m in a new relationship right now and these are so helpful to keep in mind, especially since I’ve recently switched to the panic stage (what if he doesn’t like me anymore, putting in a ton of effort so I don’t “lose him,” etc.) this was such a breath of fresh air. Glad to hear you’re enjoying the process!
These are perfect reflection questions for before or after first date. It prompts us to choose intelligently instead of impulsively. Sending this video to all my girlfriends, thank you Maddy 💜
coming here prior to going on my first first date since being single and you are truly a breathe of fresh air. Tomorrow will be a year of me being single and it has been the most loving and empowering year of my life because I LOVE ME...loving your videos you are an inspiration for younger girlies🥰
Ending a very intentional and introspective 6 week dating break. Spending this last week getting down on PAPER my red and green flags, what I want, how I'll push myself, and so on. Trying to set intentions without thinking I'm going to meet my husband tomorrow.
The tip on belittling the interests of others screams insecurities on their end. I can understand when something just isn’t for someone, but to feel so important that you talk down on what brings joy to other ppl, it’s just gotta run deeper /:
you really inspire me to live a life, maddie. to be unapologetic about my hobbies and passions, and to go outside by myself, to spend time with myself and to take care of myself. to be loud and proud about what i want and to set boundaries. you are such an inspiration, and it makes me so happy when i see you being so sincere about what you want, need and deserve. can't wait to see more of you!!!! love from chile 💛
I’m so proud of you and love this series!! As someone who has been an emotionally unavailable romantic my whole life it’s awesome to see someone who is a romantic fucking set 👏their👏standards👏 and stick to them. By the way I found love after rejecting so many people and I’m married to someone written by a woman so it is possible to find a non-bro guy. So fucking weirdly proud of you. Also, purple is a color that can represent wisdom and I think that shows in you.
I need a "What I'm Wearing on Second Dates" video this look is gorg and the thought and intention that you put into everything you do is even more stunning. Thanks for spoiling us with all this dating advice content
Your questions about a person you might date are FANTASTIC. I have been married for 50 yrs. and its been a real challenge because the answers to your questions would have made it so much more obvious BEFORE we got married It's been a get-to-know myself and my big fat need for boundaries.....It's been a roller coaster and is NOW so much better as I started to value myself and my values. Self'care....
started college 2 months ago and this is really helpful. i'm entering the dating scene & it's pretty awkward at first, but i needed to hear all of this. i'm hoping thag the boy i'm talking to is a good fit for me :)
“I deserve to date someone who is as present, introspective, and gentle as I am.” Watched this video on just the day that I needed to see this. 🥺 Yes to this! It’s so validating, as someone in the same boat and currently mourning a relationship that really hurt me.
I agree.. no need to disclose things you do/with who you’re dating, I think all that matters is what you learn from those experiences and reflections :))
As a kid, I was so inspired and supported by "non-traditional" creativity. Locally made zines expanding my awareness, UA-camrs who felt like an older sister, podcast hosts who showed me new worlds, bloggers who made me think critically. These creative spaces have impactful, lasting value. Just as much as 'high-brow' or studio-backed media does. They're relevant and contribute to our broader cultural conversation!
One thing I have a hard time with is implementing these kinds of questions while also not keeping score (because keeping score ruins relationships by creating divides and pitting partners against one another). How can I pay close attention to note events and conversations that align with my values without the urge to compare, overthink, and ultimately make it an unhealthy competition where I am always losing?
It's a very vulnerable commitment to be with someone. What I do is I think about my own mistakes and how my partner has empathized with me. He didn't have to do that. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses unfortunately it can be very hard to be with someone. It's hard to be with, hard to be without.
This was the PERFECT timing for me, so helpful and clear and smart!! I also want to say that your videos and your confidence/intelligence/emotional maturity/humor/creativity increase my own self confidence and self love, I usually feel so good after watching your videos, thank you 🤍
God, I can’t help but put my whole mind body and soul into someone. It’s legitimately very hard to limit myself because it makes me feel so alive and like I have a purpose. And ALL I’ve ever wanted was someone who would do the same, or even meet me half way.
I have a very stable openly communicative that expresses how he feels about something whether he’s upset or excited and one that is so attentive and always checking up on me after I tell him about some thing and we talked about the day every day even though we only see each other once a week because we live a little bit a ways away from each other but when it comes to expressing extremely emotional things like romantic things I don’t think he’s capable but he has tried I’m not sure what to think he also definitely still puts an effort whether it’s putting his head on the small of my back or finding little ways to comfort me because my work is very hard and we have so much fun together
This is so therapeutic. I was unsure if I was ready to date again. But after hearing these questions, I realize that I already know how to tell the difference and set boundaries. I feel so happy and centered!
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Click here sbird.co/3CiqJhu and use my code MADDIE55 to get 55% OFF your first month at Scentbird. Comment below what your fav fragrance is!! I need more recommendations to try!!
My fave is good girl from Carolina herrera!! Sooo good but idk if it's on scentbird, I haven't looked yet
OMG the cut of your top is fucking perfect
Crystal Noir by Versace omg it’s so yummy it makes me feel so sexy!! Date night must have 💓
Angel by Mugler…. It is musky yet it smells like honey. And it’s deep and rich and Amazing. You will smell DELICIOUS. Also, thank you next by Ariana grande. It is a smoky and also musky vanilla. And lastly, perfect by Marc jacobs. It is more flowery and powdery. Gives you a very spring time feeling and it’s great.
son : “mom…. y is my sister named rose?”
me : “because i love roses”
son : “ok! good to know, thanku.”
me : “no problem purple-hair-maddie”
I’m dead hhahaha this is so good
This is so cute
"do things from love, not for love" hit me like a ton of bricks. Damn.
for those of y'all looking for a recap:
1. how do they react when you communicate your feelings?
2. does this person belittle your interests and act as if your hobbies are beneath them?
3. has this person proven to be reliable and consistent in pursuing you?
4. has this person made an effort with making dates special?
5. do they offer you innocent affection? are they respectful of your body?
love you maddie keep on keepin on
tysm i was looking for this!
Thank you! Omg I was thinking I should be writing these down!! Haa
Missed question: Does this person make you feel anxious or self-crtical?
i've never been on a real date. im 22 years old and graduating college and I've never had a partner, my first kiss, my first time, literally fucking nothing. but I've searched and searched and searched (i could go on) through dating apps and through my college and it wasn't until i watched your videos last year that i realized i wasn't doing this because i wanted a connection. instead i wanted validation from another human that i was loved and worthy when i didn't believe it about myself. so i deleted the dating apps and im spending this year learning to fall in love with myself. thank you for your videos and your platform. you're making a difference
You are not alone! Im also 22 and never had a partner, had sex, etc. Sometimes its hard but i have to remind myself that everyones path in life is different and theres nothing wrong about that. Hope this helps a little🌻💛🌻💛
One thing I will say about putting in effort to plan dates- people show effort in different ways! My boyfriend is horrible at planning things, it makes him really anxious, but he shows up in his own ways. Don't make excuses for people, but if you are communicating well, you will see their effort in the ways they show it.
This is so true! My partner is neurodivergent and planning dates and holidays is NOT his thing because it's overwhelming, but he shows his love and care for me in so many other ways that I don't mind taking on that responsibility of planner - I wouldn't do it if I didn't get some joy out of it, and he appreciates me showing my love for him in that way.
Same here. My boyfriend is on the autism spectrum (Aspergers). It's... special and a little hard 😅
"How do you misunderstand me so deeply?" That really hit me. A good relationship is understanding or at least trying.
“I don’t care what men want I care what Maddie wants” WE LOVE TO HEAR IT 😌✨
The part about people respecting your hobbies and such hit home. I find myself hiding things or keeping myself toned down for people because they don’t make me feel encouraged to indulge in my passions
SAME. This happens with friends to... literally nobody knows all my interests because I am always hiding something
@@Aurora-dq4lt this😂😂 also I hide them because nobody is interested in what I’m interested in so I might as well keep it to myself anyway
i'm in a stable long term relationship, but i'm 100% invested in your dating journey videos!! i could listen to you talk for hours 💕
Hey Maddie, I am an autistic gay guy in my twenties and your videos really help me a lot. It made me realise I always settled for people who are really not worth the love I give. Thank you. I wrote down the points you make to help guide when I am dating again 😊
100% agree about having traditionally feminine interests be belittled! I let my boyfriend choose the music in my car for YEARS because I felt judged when I put on my “girly” music. I’ve had to completely retrain myself to assert that my taste in films, tv, music, books is equally as valid.
I'm boutta cry rn bc you just made me realize that I wasn't getting half of what I needed from my last relationship. I feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner and ending things or questioning them based on how I felt. I always thought I was blowing things out of proportion and being too picky, but you sticking to these standards makes me feel so much better about how I felt when they happened to me.
maddie is the sex positive, fun-loving aunt we all want and need in life
YES, what you said about some men belittling hobbies that are typically considered to be more "feminine." It is so disrespectful and too often normalized and treated as something that women should accept. If he belittles "feminine" hobbies- thank u, next.
Dating is SOOOO uncomfortable sometimes especially when you date men... There's a lot of things they do that can be really hurtful that is unfortunately normalized by society so you can't really be upset.. you can communicate and grow with them but it still hurts and nothing can take back the experience
These are my feelings exactly :/
“I don’t care what men want. I care what Maddie wants.” This is such a great quote!!!
Months ago, I wrote a comment on one of your videos saying that the guy I was dating was making me feel awful, after saying he would try harder to communicate and ended up not going through with it. After going through a really hard time, I just started to date again and I'm back from a first date with a guy that, while not my usual type, was super communicative and not afraid to talk about feelings and what he's looking for, while also asking the questions back to me and taking my answers into account. I'm so proud of myself for trying something different and actively looking for someone who's gonna be able to meet my needs. I feel like your videos definitely helped me through this journey and will continue to encourage me to look for the love that I deserve, and for that I thank you so much!!! Wish you the best Maddie!
Update: we've been officially together for a few weeks now 😊
I’m so excited. You don’t know how much I look forward to hearing you and seeing you flourish😊
Oh my god, this is exactly how I feel ❤️ it's so exciting to see some evolving from post to post ❤️
@@sosi1112 I know right!❤️ She’s helped me a lot with my own self acceptance and allowing myself to grow.
@@personoftheworld5364 Absolutely, 100%feel that 😍😍❤️ we're doing so good, ladies
@@sosi1112 I wish you well, beautiful❤️
Im on the same page bro❤️ greetings from an Italian fannn
felt like you were speaking directly to me in that affirmations portion holy shit. I always want to run from negative emotions and vulnerability bit you're so right. the point is not to avoid those feelings, the point is to become more comfortable navigating them. thank you for sharing this today, I needed it.
your videos are always a treasure, love hearing your thoughts!!
"Are you reaping your happiness from the effort that you put in, and they just showed up." This describes my last relationship so well, but I never quite had the words for it. Every single video of yours does the same thing- gives insight into my own life while being completely entertaining and beautiful in its own right.
I've also had people look down on my interests and passions, they thought I was superficial just beacuse I like and study fashion, I love beautiful paintings (which is not art you have to 'think about') and I listen to kpop music. Some tried to package it as a joke and other ones straight up said that they thought my interests were awful. That hurts tbh
oh man that sounds so awful and pretentious😣 i had the same thing happen to me once and honestly, it turned out to be good riddance
You sound so dope. And your interests are really similar to mine. But I feel you on that. Never let somebody belittle what you love. Your interests are really nice!
Love to see you flourishing! I’d love to see a video about innocent touch vs non innocent bc this is such an important thought. When you feel pressured all the time to be sexual it can fuck with your head.
Just dropping this comment into the void to say that this video was exactly what I needed to see today! I'm a long time (happily) single pringle but I've just started dating someone who I really like. Usually I'm not a romantic so opening myself up to potentially be hurt by someone is a scary experience and I have been getting in my head about potential ways it could go wrong. The list of questions really reassured me because he has literally met all of the criteria (very open and honest about his feelings, makes me feel good about myself, put in the effort to organise a wonderful date). Plus it reminded me to embrace the feelings of discomfort with the early stages of dating and not be afraid to put myself out there. Thank you!!!
I’m going through this as well! Its pretty scary but worth it 🤍
It's incredible just how much purple eyeshadow makes your beautiful eyes pop! That hair and makeup combo is everything 💕 Also, that question about respect and boundaries - so, so important. My last relationship had many good aspects to it but I never felt in control of my sexuality around him, and it really f*cked me up mentally for years, even though we aren't together anymore. I'm just starting to recognize my boundaries and how valid they are.
Right! Purple makes her SHINE! 💟
Proud of you.
About 2 weeks ago I became single from a 4 year relationship I was in. I always planned the dates. At first I didn’t mind doing that because we were having a good time together, but I was tired of putting in all of the effort and him not..
I could never communicate how I felt about anything because to him I was either being too emotional or “letting everything get to me”. I would try to communicate about how I needed more affection and romantic gestures from him to truly feel loved (saying “I love you” isn’t enough for me) and all he would say was “im not that kind of person”.
The video you did where the main thing was “you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person” really directed me to ending this relationship. It helped me so much just like all of your videos do. I’m so glad I found your channel! You’ve really have become my comfort UA-camr and I look forward to every video you put out!!!!
Sorry, what is the title of the video you are talking about?
I feel like me and you are on the same wavelength 😩 Singledom (after a breakup specifically) has given me clarity on what I want as well. In my last relationship, I felt like I gave my 100% to that person all the time but it was never reciprocated to the same degree. Lol I don’t even need elaborately planned dates, I just want somebody that is consistently excited to be with me. It’s not too much to ask for a phone call every night and an ounce or two of interest in how I’m doing. It’s not too much to expect my partner to make time for me and be the one to come visit me. It’s crazy how long I could justify their lack of effort and accept less than I deserve. It’s true, I can’t make anybody want me and why would I even try to do that? I am absolutely not going to beg for the bare minimum.
I could listen to you speak all day. You hit it on the nose, every time. Thanks for doing what you do.
💜💜💜
your content literally makes my day thank you for all of the effort you put into your videos
Oh my god. Being enthralled by your own effort. That -- that was a truth bomb which has kinda blown up my perception of my effort in a relationship. Girl. Thank you. Guru lady -- tell me more. Tell me all the things. I am here to learn.
Mood
Yessss! I fell for a boy who communicated his emotions so well. I fell so hard. I looked over all the parts that didn’t work for me because I fell so hard. He did not react well when I told him my emotions. What a good question! I love your questions and content. You and your content make me feel very seen and I’m so glad I found your content a few months ago! You go!
Your new purple hair is such a vibe! Can't get over how good it looks!
"Are you putting in effort to impress them and just like reaping your happiness based off of the effort YOU put in" really gave some perspective. Thank you
These are SUCH amazing thoughts to keep in mind while dating. I am continually getting into relationships where I feel amazing when I’m with them, but when I’m not with them I’m absolutely wracked with anxiety because subconsciously I can tell that they aren’t fully committed and don’t want to be with me. My new resolution for myself going forward is to stop settling for people who I need to chase. From now on we only date people who show the fuck up!!!
I am LOVING these dating videos and cannot wait to watch this one. Your content brings me so much joy & is so well made
When you put in the effort to patiently and bravely cultivate understanding and clarity and kindness and love in yourself, including choosing to abandon forcing anything, fear-driven action, and clinging to expectations after you’ve realized how little these qualities serve your intentions and happiness- from there what aligns with that space will naturally arise. 💜
"The love I'm looking for is also looking for me" that is so powerful oml
I like anime and kpop and I’ve had a guy make fun of me on a first date before saying that it’s immature to like cartoons at my age… yeaaahhh… noooo…. It’s a no from me. I didn’t make fun of him for liking NASCAR even though I have no interest in it. Don’t belittle people’s interests even if it doesn’t align with your interests!!! Let people have nice things!!
I feel so lucky that I pretty much "stumbled" into my relationship with my partner. He and our relationship hits pretty much all the boxes you're talking about. Maybe it's because I was 27 when I met him, so I knew what I has looking for. The only difference in what I was looking vs. What Maddie is looking for is sociability. I am not very outgoing, so I was looking for someone who didn't need to go out every weekend. That really helped during the worst parts of covid-lockdown. Our relationship flourished! Love your content! Love your spirit! Keep going strong!💪
I really wished I had access to ur videos when I started dating... would've saved me so much heartache and hurt. Like what I let people do to me because I didn't respect myself enough to set boundaries... I'm in a really happy relationship now but I just wished I had a healthier dating experience when I was younger. It's like u said in another video. That kind of naive or just tender love... I never got that when I started dating and that really sucks
at the beginning of 2021 when i saw your videos about quitting dating for the year, i told myself i’d do the same but ended up caving in and got involved in what became my worst relationship yet. he really hurt me and when i finally tried dating again i was having trauma responses to flirting :/ inspired by you, i decided to commit to not dating this year for real this time. i realized after that relationship how insecure and vulnerable i was. i ignored so many red flags and made decisions that went against my values and i need to work on myself to make sure it never happens again. your videos have been so helpful for me! after i watched your end of year update video i made my own list of things to ask myself while dating and i read it every so often to remind myself not to compromise or settle. i’m so grateful to you for sharing your experience with us because it’s already helped me so much! i’m so happy to see you flourishing right now and i’m excited to hear all about how dating goes for you! :’)
the HUHUHR sneer after saying "I had a guy tell me to quit youtube" has me dying. The audacity of that person to say that-but also, this is your creative space and you're wildly successful doing it. Here for you and your videos
Man I just hope you find your person & it all goes well - partly for the selfish reason that I can't wait to hear you talk about all the things that come from navigating being in a healthy relationship & the wisdom that comes from that because you have so much to say & I never seem to tire of hearing it. But also you deserve it so much & are obviously in such a good place to get more out of being in a good relationship than most people I've ever seen & I'm so excited for you whenever that happens.
I just got out of a 3 year relationship and I’ve been rewatching all of your emotionally available and unavailable videos and it is really getting me through it🥺🥰 I am obsessed with how open and honest you get! It really helps me have those tough conversations with myself:))
I’m in the same position as you as well , just got out of a 3.5 yr relationship and watching her dating videos makes me excited
“I deserve the type of live that I give to people” was something I didn’t know I needed to hear
innocent affection is sooooooooooooo important
This is too funny because I was literally JUST watching your old “purple eyeshadow look” and now I see this. 💜💜pop off purple queen
What I love most about you is that you don't only show me what I want to be like in future dating, but also what I want the other person to be like. I get how 'duhhh' this is, cause it's often your whole god damn point 😂 But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be hella appreciated ✌️❤️
You said “you’re either onboard or I’m too much”. You’re not too much. What you’re looking for may be too much for them. But you’re not too much.
Yes! I definitely think that's what she meant but it's a very important distinction :))
oh, i know! i've talked about this in a lot of other videos hahaha when i say too much, i'm not saying it as a bad thing! more in the vein of "if i'm too much, you can go and find less". it's a celebration!
@@MaddieDragsbaek ok I get that :)
"we start doing things for love instead of from love" man those words just pierced through my heart and open a box of memories from my past relationship. I tried so hard to find validation in other people. Im glad i kinda had an epiphany one day and decided that i should stop trying so hard to make people happy with me and just be myself for once for my own sake.
Im still in that road and you're helping me with the journey. Amazing video as always 💕💖
You make me want to love myself more
the "belittling your interests" one!! OOF Maggie
9:15 I'm having thoughts of breaking up with my bf because he does that a lot like when I'm mad I try to talk to him about how I'm feeling but he just ignores it and change the subject till I'm over it and then I lash out at my family because of how stressed he has me and I hate that I'm hurting my loved ones cause of this guy
literally the most underrated youtuber… i love content like this- an honest conversation with some big sister advice💜
I'm 25 but I wish I was as mature and confident as you are regarding dating. I'm shy and anxious and first dates makes me really nervous. It's difficult for me to be open about my interests and feeling, so people usually think I am more shallow and boring than I really am. I would really want to be just myself and spontaneous during dates. However I am trying... This years I started therapy and following contents that make me feel more confident, like yours. So thank you for your help ♥️
I'm french, so maybe we don't have the same norms around dating, but I agree with all of your questions so far except the "effort" for dates. I've been in long term relationships and I'm in a fairly new and passionate relationship now and I never did "special" impressive dates nor do I like them very much, specially in the beginning. I prefer a more natural and casual approach, I do special "effort" dates only with people that I already have an history behind and I think it's a more safe approach considering the "love bombing" risk of the beginning of a relationship. In my experience the more "spectacular" it is in the first few weeks, the more toxic it turns out after, but that's just me maybe.
These questions are designed for father along in a connection- more in that “what are we/where is this going” stage. But for me, “effort” on dates is really just defined as someone being thoughtful (ex. I know you love wine so I booked us a tasting at this place down the road that’s supposed to be really good). It’s not necessarily impressive in terms of cost or accessibility but more in terms of, oh you’ve been listening to me and are being thoughtful about where you wanna take me/what we should do :)
@@MaddieDragsbaek Okay I see what you mean.
“do things from love, not for love” oh i fucking love that👏🏼👏🏼
your videos are always so incredible, I discovered you when you were making the emotionally unavailable series and seeing you blossom from that experience is just so beautiful to see
Ahh this is just what I needed to hear today! I’m navigating a fairly new romantic connection and after spending some time with him today I’m left feeling like we should part ways. Standing up for my boundaries has felt SO difficult and I especially resonated with what you said about the longer you invest in someone the easier it is to overlook the incompatibilities. Thank you so much for those beautiful affirmations and I hope you find what you’re looking for! Much love xxx
"I don't care about what men want, I care about what Maddie wants" AMEN. 👏
I love your point about partners not taking hobbies associated with women seriously. To your point, makeup, fashion, etc. is often considered frivolous by those who do not enjoy them. They're associated with mindless consumerism rather than their inherent artistic value. Though consumerism is an issue in our culture, reducing women-associated hobbies to it is reductionist and devalues their role in feminine culture.
I moved to Paris a month ago and stepped up my dating life since then haha, I'm going on a lot of dates as well and it's so nice to follow your process as well 😊
Ahh I’m jealous! I live in Australia and most guys here are… not the greatest. I wish I lived somewhere in Europe lol
@@PoppyUr don't worry sis in Europe the guys are just as shitty
@@PoppyUr men are the same in the western world. Europeans, Australians, Americans, we all consume essentially the same media.
YO I feel like you would be so good at doing a guided meditation. Like you're so eloquent and you have a beautiful voice!! Just putting that out there. I'd listen to it :)
"do things from love and not for love" !!!!!!!! truly loving this video so much its so special
As someone who has consumed a LOT of UA-cam videos, it's not so commun to find aesthetically pleasing, helpful and fun videos that flow well and you do make those! I never find myself speeding up or skipping parts it doooes take talent. Felt like saying this for anyone disrepecting your job LOL
I CLICKED SO FAST I'M SO EXCITED
I'm not big on leaving comments to UA-cam videos, but I just appreciate your presence in my life a lot. If I'm being honest, I often hesitate to watch your videos related to love and dating because they often make me cry and sometimes I'm just not emotionally up for it haha. I just see so much of myself and my experience in what you share with us and it's often a stab right in the trauma lol but it is so incredibly helpful to hear you talk through these things. I genuinely appreciate your advice and vulnerability. Thank you. I'm so proud of you for all you've accomplished, I admire you very much, and I'm so happy you are able to be a fulltime UA-camr now!!!
This video resonated with me so deeply, after 4 years of being single by choice I am now starting to date someone and I have found myself unconsciously asking myself the exact same questions you do :) it felt incredibly reassuring for someone to put into words the "criteria" I have set out for my relationships this time around
Omggg this video really hit me! I’m in a new relationship right now and these are so helpful to keep in mind, especially since I’ve recently switched to the panic stage (what if he doesn’t like me anymore, putting in a ton of effort so I don’t “lose him,” etc.) this was such a breath of fresh air. Glad to hear you’re enjoying the process!
I love this content! I am reflecting so much on not only romantic relationships, but also friendships, family and my work environment.
Your kitty came up to check on you when you were talking about being anxious 😂 great video ❤️
These are perfect reflection questions for before or after first date. It prompts us to choose intelligently instead of impulsively. Sending this video to all my girlfriends, thank you Maddy 💜
I’ve been married for 12 years but I still love watching this series and seeing you thrive! 😆
coming here prior to going on my first first date since being single and you are truly a breathe of fresh air. Tomorrow will be a year of me being single and it has been the most loving and empowering year of my life because I LOVE ME...loving your videos you are an inspiration for younger girlies🥰
whoever you "end up with"/start an actual reationship with is gonna be very lucky to have someone so reflected on their stances on all of this stuff
I envy how well structured your thoughts are.
Ending a very intentional and introspective 6 week dating break. Spending this last week getting down on PAPER my red and green flags, what I want, how I'll push myself, and so on. Trying to set intentions without thinking I'm going to meet my husband tomorrow.
The tip on belittling the interests of others screams insecurities on their end. I can understand when something just isn’t for someone, but to feel so important that you talk down on what brings joy to other ppl, it’s just gotta run deeper /:
you really inspire me to live a life, maddie. to be unapologetic about my hobbies and passions, and to go outside by myself, to spend time with myself and to take care of myself. to be loud and proud about what i want and to set boundaries. you are such an inspiration, and it makes me so happy when i see you being so sincere about what you want, need and deserve. can't wait to see more of you!!!! love from chile 💛
I’ve never clicked a video so fast in my life I’ve been waiting for this eye look for forever
I’m so proud of you and love this series!!
As someone who has been an emotionally unavailable romantic my whole life it’s awesome to see someone who is a romantic fucking set 👏their👏standards👏 and stick to them.
By the way I found love after rejecting so many people and I’m married to someone written by a woman so it is possible to find a non-bro guy.
So fucking weirdly proud of you. Also, purple is a color that can represent wisdom and I think that shows in you.
omg i literally was asked on a date just now i love this cosmic timing
this felt like a therapy session💗💗
I am ferociously writing all those questions down. Make the planner, the book, or the calendar already Maddie. The merch writes itself!!!
I need a "What I'm Wearing on Second Dates" video this look is gorg and the thought and intention that you put into everything you do is even more stunning. Thanks for spoiling us with all this dating advice content
Man I wish we were friends and had these convos over a cheese board and wine
Thank you queen
This list can also be called "how to identify an abuser"
Your questions about a person you might date are FANTASTIC. I have been married for 50 yrs. and its been a real challenge because the answers to your questions would have made it so much more obvious BEFORE we got married It's been a get-to-know myself and my big fat need for boundaries.....It's been a roller coaster and is NOW so much better as I started to value myself and my values. Self'care....
started college 2 months ago and this is really helpful. i'm entering the dating scene & it's pretty awkward at first, but i needed to hear all of this. i'm hoping thag the boy i'm talking to is a good fit for me :)
“I deserve to date someone who is as present, introspective, and gentle as I am.”
Watched this video on just the day that I needed to see this. 🥺 Yes to this! It’s so validating, as someone in the same boat and currently mourning a relationship that really hurt me.
I agree.. no need to disclose things you do/with who you’re dating, I think all that matters is what you learn from those experiences and reflections :))
As a kid, I was so inspired and supported by "non-traditional" creativity. Locally made zines expanding my awareness, UA-camrs who felt like an older sister, podcast hosts who showed me new worlds, bloggers who made me think critically.
These creative spaces have impactful, lasting value. Just as much as 'high-brow' or studio-backed media does. They're relevant and contribute to our broader cultural conversation!
One thing I have a hard time with is implementing these kinds of questions while also not keeping score (because keeping score ruins relationships by creating divides and pitting partners against one another). How can I pay close attention to note events and conversations that align with my values without the urge to compare, overthink, and ultimately make it an unhealthy competition where I am always losing?
It's a very vulnerable commitment to be with someone. What I do is I think about my own mistakes and how my partner has empathized with me. He didn't have to do that. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses unfortunately it can be very hard to be with someone. It's hard to be with, hard to be without.
Also it sucks but a lot of people are just shitty. It can take time to find someone who is a good person & right for you
This was the PERFECT timing for me, so helpful and clear and smart!!
I also want to say that your videos and your confidence/intelligence/emotional maturity/humor/creativity increase my own self confidence and self love, I usually feel so good after watching your videos, thank you 🤍
God, I can’t help but put my whole mind body and soul into someone. It’s legitimately very hard to limit myself because it makes me feel so alive and like I have a purpose. And ALL I’ve ever wanted was someone who would do the same, or even meet me half way.
I have a very stable openly communicative that expresses how he feels about something whether he’s upset or excited and one that is so attentive and always checking up on me after I tell him about some thing and we talked about the day every day even though we only see each other once a week because we live a little bit a ways away from each other but when it comes to expressing extremely emotional things like romantic things I don’t think he’s capable but he has tried I’m not sure what to think he also definitely still puts an effort whether it’s putting his head on the small of my back or finding little ways to comfort me because my work is very hard and we have so much fun together
This is so therapeutic. I was unsure if I was ready to date again. But after hearing these questions, I realize that I already know how to tell the difference and set boundaries. I feel so happy and centered!
the E N E R G Y in this video is to die for ✨
Girl you are so consistent with your uploads. The most consistent queen, videos every week, wow we love the consistency 😘😘😂
This video made me cry thinking about the questions. Simultaneously straightforward & challenging to maintain relationships
The thing about judging hobbies! YES! GOD! Absolutely critical