I purchased the audiobook version of "Just Crazy Enough To Work" and it was entirely captivating. A painful, emotional journey filled with trauma and failures interwoven with hints of sanity and moments to celebrate. Not only for those seeking sobriety but for those seeking a genuinely mesmerizing adventure to ride along with. I’ll purchase the book as well to smell the pages. Highly recommended. (24 days today on my sober journey.)
@@_BatCountry Damn imma have to get myself a copy! I was actually gonna ask where I could find it when I first heard about it a few weeks ago. And there’s an audiobook version? Did you read it yourself?
Hey Bat Country, I've been sober for 4 days now and your videos have helped. I went down a spiraling path after my cat died. That cat was with me since I was 11 years old and I'm 27 now. It made me start to think about death and how someday my parents would die and on and on. It gave me anxiety, or so I thought. Turns out it was the drinking. I had one of the worst nights of my life on my first night of sobriety. I literally couldn't sleep, even after being awake for 25 hours. Brain zaps, horrible feelings of dread right as I was about to fall asleep, and a pounding heart. I found your videos and learned about Delirium Tremen from you and while I never had that unfortunate experience, it scared me even straighter into sobriety. You talked about how you slowly come to a precipice whenever you are drinking and how once you go down there is no bottom in one video. While I don't know how close I was to that precipice, I never went in part because of your videos. I want to thank you for sharing your experiences.
Sorry for your loss mate, I know it hurts, and then it can spiral out of control. Congrats on making a positive decision to fix yourself up, and I'm glad my videos were useful!
@@kelleyjostrobel AA kind of helped me at the start but the women at the groups were a bad influence to the point of one of them following me home. Things didn't get any better when we got into a "relationship".
Your stories are really important because DTs are often treated as a taboo topic when they shouldn't be. I had the same experiences as you and it was very frightening because I didn't know what to expect or what was happening to me - the mutilated faces, the fight or flight urges.
“At least it’s not an advert for World of Tanks” 😂 Your recent experience sounds like a hypnagogic hallucination. I’ve had these several times and it seems more prevalent when I am stressed or have a lot on my mind. Thanks for the video!
In Delirium Tremens it's as if the fabric of your own reality has been torn and a portal to hell has opened. I truly believe in hell after my experiences. I too still get the occasional reminder usually when I'm nodding off to sleep but it's getting less frequent through abstinence. Stuart thank you for these videos. They serve to remind me why I chose abstinence. It's not easy but then again anything worthwhile never is. I still occasionally have dreams in which I'm actively searching for or planning to drink. The brain is a such a curious a complex entity even when asleep. I'm looking forward to your next video with the fixed classic looking lens.
I love this video because it combines the two things I watch most on UA-cam, anything to do with sobriety and ASMR videos of people fixing, cleaning or restoring things. I finished your book tonight, after you mentioned it in another video I went to your website to get it but it was sold out so I ended up getting an ebook version on amazon and just devoured it in a couple of days. It combined another two loves of mine, adventure travel and a memoir of alcohol addiction (of which i I've read many and I think have developed a cross addiction for alcohol/sobriety memoirs). I think what you are doing here, talking about delirium tremens and alcohol induced hallucinosis is very valuable and rare. As mentioned I consume a huge amount of content about sobriety, both in books and videos as I have battled with my own AUD, and no one else really talks about it. Having never experienced these myself, but know that it is where continued use could take me, it gives me yet another reason to stop for good, currently 5 days sober since the last binge and craving a good sleep. Oh and btw the lens you fixed looked way better than the modern lens.
Those are my two favourite things too. I fall asleep to restoration videos. If I had the skill, Bat Country would just be me fixing things and talking about sobriety. Thanks for the comment!
As an Austrian, I like to hear you speak german! 😊 Do you still dream/have flashbacks about drinking/being drunk or your time in the psych ward? What was your mindset in there; did you believe at that time that it will get better? even though I haven't drank alcohol for 10 years, I still have vivid dreams of being drunk in public and embarrassing myself. I commented this on an earlier video, I drank pretty heavily on weekends for several years, but stopped quite abruptly after leaving my hometown and cutting some toxic people out of my life. back then, I never thought I might develop a problem with alcohol, but in retrospective, I definitely was at risk.
Hallo Stefanie! I know those dreams you're talking about, like alcohol anxiety dreams. They've stopped for me now. I had them for about a year, every night, and I only started 'feeling' sober when they stopped. I don't dream about the psych ward, but I occasionally feel like I miss it. I think that might be an urge to drink, in disguise, so I ignore it. On the war, I didn't think much about the future. It's mostly self-pity and fear in those places. Congratulations on your sobriety, you should be very proud. Glad to have you here.
I'll be forty in November and I truly believe that I have brain damage from going through the DTs *_so_* many times. It's always nightmarishly horrific and still remember everything I seen and heard, vividly. I feel so sorry for the doctors, nurses and security guards that had to put up with me, at one point, the only person I slightly trusted in that entire hospital was a security guard. Poor guy had to chase me through the countryside and a forest just to calm me down a bit and take me back to the hospital. I made him call the police so they could come and take me to jail for my own safety because I *_knew_* that the doctors were planning to steal my internal organs and sell them to the giant lizards that run the hospital.
I’m 60. Used to drink heavily from an early age. thankfully never endured DTs but I agree, I’m quite certain that I have permanent brain damage and diminished cognitive functioning due to alcohol. Some things we never get back
I'm sorry you went through it mate. My biggest regret is not the DTs, even though they did lasting damage. It's how much time I wasted in the process. 40's young. Onwards and upwards.
Thank you sharing. I’m 2 months post DTs (first time) and I’ve never heard anything more relatable. Confirming the horror is real makes me feel a bit less crazy. As you said, I white knuckled it but ended up in the hospital anyway. I had 3 seizures, audiogenic partial seizures, I did not think I would make it- never been so terrified. The hospital didn’t help much- I was given benzos and released. I got much worse. Didn’t sleep for 4 days, heard the distant music, seen the disfigured faces. I had no idea what was happening to me. I had no idea that alcohol was that powerful. The anxiety and impending doom is unbearable. I’m happy to be on the other side but it absolutely doesn’t end there. I’m still on the meds and still experience flashbacks- the panic attacks. I’m starting to think more clearly and find some joy in my highs, but it has certainly left its footprint.
I just want to say thank you for your videos, they have helped me a lot. The honesty, storytelling skills & video and audio quality... Looking forward for more😊
I am not alcoholic nor is anyone in my immediate life but I think you are a really great storyteller and I am learning a great deal about this condition to have better empathy towards it. The only annoying thing is now that I have watched so many of your videos UA-cam thinks I am an alcoholic and is suggesting so many more videos when I just like yours. It goes without saying as you did make an audiobook, you are a fantastic speaker! Subscribed!!!
Just found your channel randomly through the algorithm, love your stuff man you put into words a lot of the feelings I have in my head as I struggle as a """"""functioning""""""" alcoholic and have been for a long time. I'm trying my best to quit but ill admit I havent yet ive had many relapses, in fact im drunk right now. But man I wish I had a friend like you in my life to put stuff into words im not often capable of doing myself. You rock dude I hope I can get over my addiction and fix this shit because living like this kinda sucks ass. Im so sick of feeling sick, im so tired of feeling tired, but man the stories i have heard so far from you give me hope, if you can do it I can do it.
Your use of air quotes around """""functioning""""" made me laugh. You can beat this mate. There might be stumbles and false starts, but it's worth it. Do it because you want to, and do it before it becomes necessary.
Oh my fucking GOD I hated DT's, one time hundreds of 10ft tall black, boney, winged, oily, demons came crawling out of the ground and flew at me all at once, it scared the living shit out of me, then according to my brother I started convulsing and chewing my tongue to shreds...he called the ambulance and the nurses at the hospital were pissed off at seeing a young man drinking himself to death...sober 25 years now.
25 YEARS!? Wow man, congratulations. It's good to know that even with so much time you're still checking in with sober content and keeping your ear to the ground. Thanks mate.
It would be very interesting to know what you mean by sober for 25 years that’s quite the accomplishment do you mean from alcohol or all psychoactive substances
Tactile hallucinations! I'm going to love this channel...including the intro, with the 1920s ? music 🎶 🎵 and the steaming brew !!! That's soon me !!! 😂
I've done all the psychedelics, and my first experience with dt's a couple weeks ago was stranger and more deranged. I was surrounded by glowing red bricks like I was back in hell, but in a holding cell this time. We are all in a spiritual battle whether we admit it or not. God Bless everyone.
Hi, I’m sober but had a few times in detox over the past 30 years. Last time a few months ago after a few years sober. I’ve had bad withdrawals but not got to the “chronic” halucinatory stage.. thank fully.. I went cold turkey a couple of months after 3/4 70 cl vodka a day for about 6 weeks. That was bad enough but the pain of that is serving as a good deterrent . Your recollections are terrifying..and a good deterrent to myself. It’s 6.45 am in UK at moment and just going for my morning 5-10 mile walk which has been a godsend in recovery. Thanks for your channel.. it’s incredibly “ real” and supportive! 👍 Mark
Hello Bat my friend. Yes the kindling effect is absolutely real, my withdrawals got progressively worse following heavier and heavier relapses, DTs more horrific each time, and like you Bat the images of my last hallucinations stay with me and pop up often. I wasn't aware of the stats around survival rates during DTs, so I now know my luck would have run out eventually. 1 year sober yesterday & always reminding myself this is not a 'lifestyle choice' it's a necessity.
Currently listening to your book on audible, really enjoying it. Despite it being a hell of a journey. I have nothing but appreciation, admiration and almost a little jealousy. The places, nature and people you must have seen and met is wild and that is life experience that not many people have endured. Might sound strange but some of us love a challenge and push ourselves to the brink just to make it through the other side, almost self destructive and I assume that whole experience made you stronger, resilient, appreciative and gave you some unbelievable perspective on not only the world but yourself as well. Hat's off to you sir Edit, you quite obviously endured some shit along the way which would defeat most people, I am humbled by your integrity and resilience
Thank you so much for this. I tend to agree, while I wish none of it had ever happened, I'm grateful that it did. What doesn't kill you makes you weird at dinner parties, am I right?
Thank you for sharing, I know you have been told this before, but you should write a book. Your descriptions capture the dark reality of heavy alcoholism. I have yet to hear anyone recalling a story of alcohol withdraw where people saw images of what they would imagine to be paradise. Maybe that only comes in the phase that no one lives to describe.
I’m in the middle of Lands of Lost Borders right now. So excited that you have written a book! It is now on its way to me through good old Amazon. Thank you for your incredible videos and caring enough about us struggling alcoholics to tell your MEGA-cautionary tales…. yesterday was my first day sober.
No way, did you buy ands Of Lost Borders on my recommendation? Congratulations on your first day of sobriety. It's all better from here, I promise. (Not necessarily *easier*, but definitely better.)
Love your videos and they have helped me get clarity again, I started drinking around 12 I was sectioned twice with dts in my 20s then stopped for a long time being very healthy ran over 10 x 100 miler ultras good business 6 bedroom house two daughters beautiful life then picked up again at 40, (8 years ago) and lost it all. I experienced DTs twice this period. Two weeks sober now after admitting myself a&e with DTs. I had aliens zapping my brain hieroglyphics written on the walls and constant music prior for 3 days solid, it’s a nightmare. Keep up the good work watched nearly everyone of your videos and relate 100% to everything said. Spot on.
Dude. Wow. I never had visual hallucinations. I had auditory and sensory but never visual in the 4 times that I've been through this. I only had medical treatment once. And yes. I realize that's a bad idea and I could have and probably should have died. But by the grace of god I didn't. The one single line that hit home with me out of this video was its your brain mocking you as you die. Sent chills up me man. Because up until now I could never quite put into words how it felt. Thanks for this video man. We're all in this together. ODAAT!
@_BatCountry nope. Only when I've taken hallucinogens. I would hear old timey music in the background and sirens or voices very loudly. Like someone was screaming at me but it was all gibberish. And the sirens sound like theres a 5 alarm fire outside my window. And I constantly felt like there were bugs crawling all over me or that I had random hairs on me. One tome I felt like someone had put their arm around me or was full on bear hugging me. The paranoia was the worst. As the saying goes, just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get ya.
I attended a detox in Edinburgh about 10 years ago, for heroin, but it was mainly alcoholics. I was only there for a week or so, as you probably know heroin withdrawal only lasts a week. After listening to a few of your videos I'm glad my experience "only" involved pain. I remember for the alcoholics they were given librium, which I would have taken gladly if offered. But they also gave the alcoholics another medication which would make them sick if they drank, which I thought was extreme, since they had entered the clinic voluntarily. I think your input is very valuable as people rarely talk about the withdrawal effects of alcohol, but a lot is spoken about opioids, or crystal meth, for example. Best of luck.
I witnessed DTs first hand my brother was an alcoholic, he was hallucinating for 2 days straight after trying to quit cold turkey, the things he seen were terrifying 😮😢, he eventually committed suicide in 2009, i miss him everyday , i have struggled with alcohol for last 2 years lost my dad last year snd partner and kids of 13 yrs but im now doing better and going sobar October i still drink from time to time but im a hellauva lot better these days, hope anyone struggling finds a way to stop or change their lifestyle xxxx bless u all
Sorry to hear about your brother. Congratulations on trying to stay sober! You definitely aren't alone. I lost my mother the same way. A lesson we both have to keep fighting! Sending you the strength I hope we keep!👊
Although I've never had DT's, I did only just about survive an illness 15 years ago that did have a lot of similar effects. A lot of what you say resonates and,even all these years later,I can honestly say there isn't a single day where I don't think about it in some way or another and,from the permanent detrimental effects it left me with,I quite openely admitted to a friend that it would have been better if the life support had been turned off at the time. Even though I've never had the same problem as you I can identify with what happened and you tell your story with a very calming voice.Well done and all the best mate.
Which lens is that and what happened to it? I used my Canon EF 50mm 1.4 on my last video and I have to manually focus it because the autofocus doesn't work half the time with the R mount adapter. Ahh. Our old friend delirium tremens and alcoholic hallucinosis. I am totally with you. Great content as usual, my man.
It's a 1963-ish Meyer Optik Oreston 50mm f1.8, not the most beautiful lens I own but definitely the most versatile. It's got the balance of image quality, character, and practicality that I need day-to-day. Nothing in particular happened to it, it just developed a rattle and needed some love. I'll be checking out your new one shortly :)
I'm really sad I didn't see this video sooner as I've just tried to order your book and it has sold out! Please let me know when you have more available 😊
I’m with you on the horrible faces… I called it legions of demons….just all around floating,mostly just faces on heads.. And the rare tactile hallucination…mine was that the inside of my mouth was melting and sliding down my throat or down whichever way I turned my head, I was trying to position my head right so my mouth would maybe heal correctly
Oh gourd, i dont think i ever had a tactile hallucination. Everyone is a bit different, when i was suffering the worst, if i touched a hallucination it would disappear or "turn into" something real. Like i might have seem someones face or head, but it was really an object d' art that was the, hmm, the placeholder? Anyway, good to see you today, hope its a good week my brotha. Oh, and headphones? I am okay without headphones, but i always sleep with the lights on. Its... I have to.
@@_BatCountry it's pretty amazing , and you be of those things You Know, long term sober let's you Get Shiat done. I am planning a services and product launch in 2.5 weeks, and I think I'm gonna make it. It is gonna be a big, big push this weekend. Heh, and of course If you build it they will come... Eventually:) But I work better with clear, reasonable deadlines. (It's software and services)
Would love to buy the book, but it says out of stock on your site. I guess I'll have to order it from amazon. Anyhow, absolutely love your content. Beautifully descriptive storytelling and overall brutal honesty is unparallel to anything I've come across on yt. Also appreciate and can deeply relate to your thoughts on alcoholic logic and perception. Please carry on ❤
Hi there! Yeah they sold out overnight - I can't believe it, and I didn't expect it. And yeah, you can get it through Amazon, it's the same book. Thanks so much for the comments and the support, it means a lot to me.
I think the paranoia starts in withdrawal, but then is massively enhanced in a much deeper darker way by continuing to drink after the paranoia. Becomes deep rooted and messed up. It’s hard to come back from that. It becomes a part of you you’ll never be able to fully shake off.
Thanks! Those are vintage tracks that are out of copyright, I use very lo-fi versions because it kinda sounds like what I hear at the start of delirium tremens.
Alcohol services advise alcoholics to taper off to avoid severe withdrawals like DT’s. Most alcoholics are happy with this because it continues to give them licence to drink and they mostly can’t taper successfully. Whats your opinion on tapering and does it work?
Exactly how I feel after my DTs I felt the after effects for days after and it’s got better after a week but still terrified of socialising. My DTs were not as severe as yours because I still had say 60% of reality but that could be my illness talking but still they were pretty severe but I rarely lost my full vision to that level, but the heart attack statistic is shocking plus on the start of my DTs I got a strong taste for my last drink and started to see really evil people throughout history, then the visions of hell and women screaming started to occur when I’d close my eyes. But this video helped me a lot and feel I was meant to see it after I commented about the after effects the other day.
You don't have to socialise mate. Take your time. Be a friend to yourself for a while. I'm glad this one connected with you, and I hope you're doing better today.
@@_BatCountry yes I am on the 12 steps now never want to go back to that hell 🙏 though I won’t compare myself to a soldier but I feel like I’ve been to war
I had DT's once and it wasn't even as bad as most peoples experiences, thankfully, but it still scared me so much i didn't ever drink again. Almost 6 years sober. I had trouble falling asleep after it, things in my head would become a bit strange i'd have panic attacks and that feeling that i am falling down. Lasted about 6 months.
I had similar long term sleep issues without alcohol for me it turns out I had unfinished business of a short my brain conflated things that needed to be done with needing to find food immediately and so wouldn’t let me get sleep because I was “starving”
Do you think it’s possible to be physically dependent on alcohol if you only drink wine at night? I know someone says that applies to them but I thought you would have to be drinking more than that for dependency to that level be present
Yeah I think it's likely that if you drink wine every night you're probably dependent on it, physiologically speaking. If that person were to sp, they'd probably feel some minor withdrawal for a few days. That would qualify as dependency.
I have to admit that I came to almost enjoy the DT's. Simply because I had so many that I knew that everything I was seeing, hearing and feeling simply wasn't real. It was akin to playing the lead role in a most grotesquely, disturbing movie. With odd moments of hilarity and excitement. I'm not condoning it by the way, but I guess as I knew I was strapped into that rollercoaster ride again, I'd better make the best of it.
I think I know what you mean, every now and then I feel like I miss it, and I'm tempted to buy one more ticket. That's alcoholism talking though, you know?
Bat Country, thank you for these insightful videos. Should I go to the ER if I have had shortness of breath for the last 5 day and over the last month have had a (very) minor seizure. I have also had 2 visual hallucination episodes. I go to sleep for 2 hours and the dreams are also very lucid in between the hallucinations.
Have you tried high dose vitamin b supplementation? I managed to acquire a thiamine deficiency through a terrible diet, and felt like a new person after I started taking a 50 mg vitamin b complex + extra benfotiamine. I'm not an expert, but I understand that even though b vitamins are water soluble, recovering from a deficient state can benefit from higher doses over time. Also, I would recommend researching or trying out fasting or keto diet for the cognitive effect. When fasting (running on ketones instead of carbs), I enter a calm, focused, and slightly euphoric state, where I'm better able to identify and work on my problems instead of avoiding them.
I'm thinking the doctor and the Arab had a little deal worked out. Doctor gives him access to the ward, he gets a cut from the sale of stolen goods. I think gabapentin should be prescribed for patients coming out of DT. It helps to disrupt the amygdala from triggering the fight or flight response. It's used primarily for neuropathic pain, but it's effective in treating anxiety and stress disorders.
The last time I went to A&E with alcoholic hallucinosis, I was given librium and just sent immediately home once I'd swallowed them. Surely that wasn't right, given what you've said about how dangerous it is to send someone home with benzos in their system?
That's what they did to me too in the UK. Just pilled me up, put me on some kind of electrolyte drip thing, and then sent me home when my parents showed up. It goes against all the advice I've ever heard.
I still carry the trauma of my experience with delirium tremens with me. On the one hand it is like "your own brain" torturing you to death-- but I could absolutely not shake the impression that I was not alone; that I was being attacked by hostile spiritual enemies. I couldn't possibly have been responsible for my hallucinations, because what if I was? Yeesh. PS. Can't wait to read your book!
Absolutely Seb - those are the kind of conundrums that DTs make you face, aren't they? Most people will never have to contend with that kind of confusion. The books sold out really quickly so if you managed to get one, I really hope you enjoy it. If you didn't, I'll probably get more in.
@@_BatCountry you also mention in this video that OTHER people don't trust your perception either, and this has been incredibly irritating for me. Not long after, I tried to explain to a sponsor a complicated technical concept-- my brand new PC had been victim of a supply-chain malware attack that infected its boot package and made it install a bunch of viruses whenever I booted it up for the first time. Naturally I was mad and paranoid about what information I may have lost before I diagnosed the issue. He was seriously concerned that I was hallucinating or having an episode because I couldn't get him to understand how a brand new computer could have a virus. I quit AA shortly after lol; that really offended me.
I increasingly get the feeling there is something almost (or very) demonic about the sliding scale of the effects of alcohol. The end point being a hell of your/our own making. Its fascinating but I hope my in the field research is over I don’t think my heart would be able to take my imagination if I got the DT’s so I am grateful I can get a greater insight through your videos. I’d like to check out your book too! Need to get on it.
Bro has anyone ever told you you look like Adam Calhoun? Before any fans start verbally attacking me for that let me say i really like Adam Calhoun so this is a compliment lol. I know alot of people dont like him but I do so again it was a compliment lol. Anyways another great video Sir keep em coming 👍
@@_BatCountry All the crazy things ive done drinking I never messed with cops. There the biggest gang in the world lol. Ive heard too many stories about them taking guys into a cell that was out of camera view lol! Thats hard liquor tho you dont feel any pain till your sober then you feel all the pain lol
Oh God... I have no idea how my brain still works. By all accounts I should be dead or insane. The feeling of jolting awake over and over again, just in case if I let my guard down I might die - always in bed when the day of constant drinking was over... Of course I woke up and drank. What the fuck else? During one case of the DTs I hallucinated so viciously, I was in a complete other realm. I thought my heart was stopping and I ran out breath, but because I wanted to die, I simply closed the door of the hotel room I was in and waited for what I thought would be relief to come. My father was visiting me in Indonesia and was only downstairs... I didn't seek help because I didn't want any... just to slip away. I have told people occasionally that I know what hell looks like because i think I saw it in that .. trip. It was like all the regrets and fears and shame turned inwards in what I was convinced was a permanent state of suffering between this life and the next. It seemed to last for hours but could have only been ten minutes max. That wasn't my rock bottom. Eventually the seizures and malnourishment meant there was nowhere left to turn, which was the greatest gift I have ever known - that which I always hated the most - my body... Now I know the world I had made for myself was enough of a hell as it was. Drinking alcoholically and for so many years was something I simply should not have survived. I have 19 months of sobriety, my body is fine and my recovery is strong. But I constantly dream about that hellish place as well as nightly drinking dreams - I doubt they'll ever stop and to be honest I wonder if they're a good thing.
I guess I have had some symptoms of delurium tremens. Not haluzinations when I am awake, but really crazy and scary dreams, which feel so much like reality. I've also been wondering why they are always about such scary things. Why not cakes , fluffy animals, money, winning in poker, dating a super model...? Once I woke up yelling "Help! Help! Satan, Satan!" I have to say that made me laugh a bit.
Well that’s probably not DTs that’s probably the consequences of not getting enough REM sleep for a very long time as alcohol and alcohol withdraw disrupts this it will eventually result in waking hallucinations as your brain forces you into REM sleep while you’re awake
You remember correctly - I wrote the first version drunk. It took six months, and it was trash, so I started again when I got sober, and it turned out MUCH better.
@@_BatCountry I’m also a writer. I used to think that I wrote my best work after a glass of wine. I’ve since stopped drinking completely and realised that this wasn’t exactly true. Lol.
been watching all of your videos on the topic because a month ago i quit drinking and that night i was hearing music and having insane thoughts and didnt sleep a wink. went to work the next day.. left after 5 minutes after clocking in. having an easier time lately. down to just 4 beers before bed and not waking up with the shakes at all. just tired and anxious for not sleeping well.3 nights ago zero sleep. 2 nights ago slept 4 terrible hours. last night slept in 2 hr intervals but did not wake up shaking, just sweaty and found myself falling back to sleep easy and had nothing but good dreams. woke up a tad shaky so had 1 beer and i'll have just 2 beers tonight before bed and see if i wake up with tremors or not
Would it not be better to simply switch to something like morphine then use modern medicine to get off that pretty easily the withdraw is hell but no DTs no seizures etc
Thankfully I never had dts because I am an opiod user, but I cannot even handle the restlessness and ultra-bleak dysphoria. You have no energy. You lie down. Immediately you think I should pace back and forth! As soon as you pace back and forth you collapse on the bed and repeat this for at least two weeks, with zero sleep the first six days.
I purchased the audiobook version of "Just Crazy Enough To Work" and it was entirely captivating. A painful, emotional journey filled with trauma and failures interwoven with hints of sanity and moments to celebrate. Not only for those seeking sobriety but for those seeking a genuinely mesmerizing adventure to ride along with. I’ll purchase the book as well to smell the pages. Highly recommended. (24 days today on my sober journey.)
I can't express how much this comment means to me. Thank you so much.
@@_BatCountry Damn imma have to get myself a copy! I was actually gonna ask where I could find it when I first heard about it a few weeks ago. And there’s an audiobook version? Did you read it yourself?
Thanks for the recommendation. Just bought it:)
Keep up the solid work my friend. 👏 💯
Thanks mate. Pretty sure you were first on this one!
Hey Bat Country, I've been sober for 4 days now and your videos have helped. I went down a spiraling path after my cat died. That cat was with me since I was 11 years old and I'm 27 now. It made me start to think about death and how someday my parents would die and on and on. It gave me anxiety, or so I thought. Turns out it was the drinking. I had one of the worst nights of my life on my first night of sobriety. I literally couldn't sleep, even after being awake for 25 hours. Brain zaps, horrible feelings of dread right as I was about to fall asleep, and a pounding heart. I found your videos and learned about Delirium Tremen from you and while I never had that unfortunate experience, it scared me even straighter into sobriety. You talked about how you slowly come to a precipice whenever you are drinking and how once you go down there is no bottom in one video. While I don't know how close I was to that precipice, I never went in part because of your videos. I want to thank you for sharing your experiences.
Sorry for your loss mate, I know it hurts, and then it can spiral out of control. Congrats on making a positive decision to fix yourself up, and I'm glad my videos were useful!
Im 8 days sober. Desperate to make it stick this time. 👍🏻
Sending you a virtual hug and the very best of everything x 8 days is a massive achievement x Congratulations🎉🎉🎉
Get help! AA is your friend❤❤❤❤
@@kelleyjostrobel AA kind of helped me at the start but the women at the groups were a bad influence to the point of one of them following me home. Things didn't get any better when we got into a "relationship".
8 days also. That last round scared the shit out of me. I hope I feel completely normal again someday soon. Congrats, stay strong 👍💪
One day at a time mate. Congrats on your sobriety so far, long may it continue.
Yay! New video! Sooner than expected. I liked it in advance bc i know that it will be awesome!
You're too kind, I hope it measured up to expectations :)
Your stories are really important because DTs are often treated as a taboo topic when they shouldn't be. I had the same experiences as you and it was very frightening because I didn't know what to expect or what was happening to me - the mutilated faces, the fight or flight urges.
Thank you. Feels good to leave it behind, doesn't it?
“At least it’s not an advert for World of Tanks” 😂
Your recent experience sounds like a hypnagogic hallucination. I’ve had these several times and it seems more prevalent when I am stressed or have a lot on my mind. Thanks for the video!
That's what it was. It's been a while since I had one like that.
that game reference came out so unexpected 🤣
In Delirium Tremens it's as if the fabric of your own reality has been torn and a portal to hell has opened. I truly believe in hell after my experiences. I too still get the occasional reminder usually when I'm nodding off to sleep but it's getting less frequent through abstinence. Stuart thank you for these videos. They serve to remind me why I chose abstinence. It's not easy but then again anything worthwhile never is. I still occasionally have dreams in which I'm actively searching for or planning to drink. The brain is a such a curious a complex entity even when asleep. I'm looking forward to your next video with the fixed classic looking lens.
It took me a LONG time to stop dreaming about drinking. It did eventually stopped, and that's when I started calling myself sober. Thanks CJ!
I love this video because it combines the two things I watch most on UA-cam, anything to do with sobriety and ASMR videos of people fixing, cleaning or restoring things. I finished your book tonight, after you mentioned it in another video I went to your website to get it but it was sold out so I ended up getting an ebook version on amazon and just devoured it in a couple of days. It combined another two loves of mine, adventure travel and a memoir of alcohol addiction (of which i I've read many and I think have developed a cross addiction for alcohol/sobriety memoirs). I think what you are doing here, talking about delirium tremens and alcohol induced hallucinosis is very valuable and rare. As mentioned I consume a huge amount of content about sobriety, both in books and videos as I have battled with my own AUD, and no one else really talks about it. Having never experienced these myself, but know that it is where continued use could take me, it gives me yet another reason to stop for good, currently 5 days sober since the last binge and craving a good sleep. Oh and btw the lens you fixed looked way better than the modern lens.
Those are my two favourite things too. I fall asleep to restoration videos. If I had the skill, Bat Country would just be me fixing things and talking about sobriety.
Thanks for the comment!
As an Austrian, I like to hear you speak german! 😊
Do you still dream/have flashbacks about drinking/being drunk or your time in the psych ward? What was your mindset in there; did you believe at that time that it will get better?
even though I haven't drank alcohol for 10 years, I still have vivid dreams of being drunk in public and embarrassing myself. I commented this on an earlier video, I drank pretty heavily on weekends for several years, but stopped quite abruptly after leaving my hometown and cutting some toxic people out of my life. back then, I never thought I might develop a problem with alcohol, but in retrospective, I definitely was at risk.
Hallo Stefanie!
I know those dreams you're talking about, like alcohol anxiety dreams. They've stopped for me now. I had them for about a year, every night, and I only started 'feeling' sober when they stopped. I don't dream about the psych ward, but I occasionally feel like I miss it. I think that might be an urge to drink, in disguise, so I ignore it.
On the war, I didn't think much about the future. It's mostly self-pity and fear in those places.
Congratulations on your sobriety, you should be very proud. Glad to have you here.
I'll be forty in November and I truly believe that I have brain damage from going through the DTs *_so_* many times. It's always nightmarishly horrific and still remember everything I seen and heard, vividly. I feel so sorry for the doctors, nurses and security guards that had to put up with me, at one point, the only person I slightly trusted in that entire hospital was a security guard. Poor guy had to chase me through the countryside and a forest just to calm me down a bit and take me back to the hospital. I made him call the police so they could come and take me to jail for my own safety because I *_knew_* that the doctors were planning to steal my internal organs and sell them to the giant lizards that run the hospital.
What is it with the giant reptiles?
"Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds..."
I’m 60. Used to drink heavily from an early age. thankfully never endured DTs but I agree, I’m quite certain that I have permanent brain damage and diminished cognitive functioning due to alcohol. Some things we never get back
Lizards runnning the hospital may be true.
Wow!!!
I'm sorry you went through it mate. My biggest regret is not the DTs, even though they did lasting damage. It's how much time I wasted in the process.
40's young. Onwards and upwards.
Thank you sharing. I’m 2 months post DTs (first time) and I’ve never heard anything more relatable. Confirming the horror is real makes me feel a bit less crazy. As you said, I white knuckled it but ended up in the hospital anyway. I had 3 seizures, audiogenic partial seizures, I did not think I would make it- never been so terrified. The hospital didn’t help much- I was given benzos and released. I got much worse. Didn’t sleep for 4 days, heard the distant music, seen the disfigured faces. I had no idea what was happening to me. I had no idea that alcohol was that powerful. The anxiety and impending doom is unbearable. I’m happy to be on the other side but it absolutely doesn’t end there. I’m still on the meds and still experience flashbacks- the panic attacks. I’m starting to think more clearly and find some joy in my highs, but it has certainly left its footprint.
I can ,unfortunately ,relate to your experience .Terrifying and horrifying 😢
I just want to say thank you for your videos, they have helped me a lot. The honesty, storytelling skills & video and audio quality... Looking forward for more😊
Thank you so much! It's onwards and upwards from here, I just got my professional audio equipment back, so it should be even better from now on.
The videos/ Bat Country are wonderful help
I am not alcoholic nor is anyone in my immediate life but I think you are a really great storyteller and I am learning a great deal about this condition to have better empathy towards it. The only annoying thing is now that I have watched so many of your videos UA-cam thinks I am an alcoholic and is suggesting so many more videos when I just like yours. It goes without saying as you did make an audiobook, you are a fantastic speaker! Subscribed!!!
Thanks again. Really enjoyed listening to you talk mate. Really helps a lot.
Just found your channel randomly through the algorithm, love your stuff man you put into words a lot of the feelings I have in my head as I struggle as a """"""functioning""""""" alcoholic and have been for a long time. I'm trying my best to quit but ill admit I havent yet ive had many relapses, in fact im drunk right now. But man I wish I had a friend like you in my life to put stuff into words im not often capable of doing myself.
You rock dude I hope I can get over my addiction and fix this shit because living like this kinda sucks ass. Im so sick of feeling sick, im so tired of feeling tired, but man the stories i have heard so far from you give me hope, if you can do it I can do it.
Your use of air quotes around """""functioning""""" made me laugh. You can beat this mate. There might be stumbles and false starts, but it's worth it. Do it because you want to, and do it before it becomes necessary.
new Bat Country , let's gooooooooo 🍽🍽
The “Everywhere at the End of Time” adjacent background music really drives home the gravity of these talks. Great touch
Thanks, and that's an excellent reference point!
Love everything about bat country!
Thanks for the love!
Oh my fucking GOD I hated DT's, one time hundreds of 10ft tall black, boney, winged, oily, demons came crawling out of the ground and flew at me all at once, it scared the living shit out of me, then according to my brother I started convulsing and chewing my tongue to shreds...he called the ambulance and the nurses at the hospital were pissed off at seeing a young man drinking himself to death...sober 25 years now.
25 YEARS!? Wow man, congratulations. It's good to know that even with so much time you're still checking in with sober content and keeping your ear to the ground. Thanks mate.
Wow glad you made it out alive and stayed sober!
It would be very interesting to know what you mean by sober for 25 years that’s quite the accomplishment do you mean from alcohol or all psychoactive substances
Tactile hallucinations! I'm going to love this channel...including the intro, with the 1920s ? music 🎶 🎵 and the steaming brew !!! That's soon me !!! 😂
Yes! Wonderful!
I've done all the psychedelics, and my first experience with dt's a couple weeks ago was stranger and more deranged. I was surrounded by glowing red bricks like I was back in hell, but in a holding cell this time. We are all in a spiritual battle whether we admit it or not. God Bless everyone.
Hi, I’m sober but had a few times in detox over the past
30 years. Last time a few months ago after a few years sober. I’ve had bad withdrawals but not got to the “chronic” halucinatory stage.. thank fully.. I went cold turkey a couple of months after 3/4 70 cl vodka a day for about 6 weeks. That was bad enough but the pain of that is serving as a good deterrent
. Your recollections are terrifying..and a good deterrent to myself. It’s 6.45 am in UK at moment and just going for my morning
5-10 mile walk which has been a godsend in recovery. Thanks for your channel.. it’s incredibly “ real” and supportive! 👍 Mark
Hey Mark! Thanks for your comments. A long morning walk, there's nothing better is there?
Hello Bat my friend. Yes the kindling effect is absolutely real, my withdrawals got progressively worse following heavier and heavier relapses, DTs more horrific each time, and like you Bat the images of my last hallucinations stay with me and pop up often. I wasn't aware of the stats around survival rates during DTs, so I now know my luck would have run out eventually. 1 year sober yesterday & always reminding myself this is not a 'lifestyle choice' it's a necessity.
Congratulations on one year! That's huge, and inspirational. I hope you treat yourself this week, you should be proud, and you deserve it.
I think it’s Wonderful that you wrote a book. I’m definitely going to check it out.💞
Thanks so much!
Currently listening to your book on audible, really enjoying it. Despite it being a hell of a journey. I have nothing but appreciation, admiration and almost a little jealousy. The places, nature and people you must have seen and met is wild and that is life experience that not many people have endured. Might sound strange but some of us love a challenge and push ourselves to the brink just to make it through the other side, almost self destructive and I assume that whole experience made you stronger, resilient, appreciative and gave you some unbelievable perspective on not only the world but yourself as well. Hat's off to you sir
Edit, you quite obviously endured some shit along the way which would defeat most people, I am humbled by your integrity and resilience
Thank you so much for this. I tend to agree, while I wish none of it had ever happened, I'm grateful that it did. What doesn't kill you makes you weird at dinner parties, am I right?
It took me 6 months before I could walk straight again.
Yeah my balance was wonky for ages.
Thank you for sharing, I know you have been told this before, but you should write a book. Your descriptions capture the dark reality of heavy alcoholism. I have yet to hear anyone recalling a story of alcohol withdraw where people saw images of what they would imagine to be paradise. Maybe that only comes in the phase that no one lives to describe.
I did, the link's in the description :)
Very interesting and engaging. Thanks!
I’m in the middle of Lands of Lost Borders right now. So excited that you have written a book! It is now on its way to me through good old Amazon. Thank you for your incredible videos and caring enough about us struggling alcoholics to tell your MEGA-cautionary tales…. yesterday was my first day sober.
No way, did you buy ands Of Lost Borders on my recommendation?
Congratulations on your first day of sobriety. It's all better from here, I promise. (Not necessarily *easier*, but definitely better.)
Love your videos and they have helped me get clarity again, I started drinking around 12 I was sectioned twice with dts in my 20s then stopped for a long time being very healthy ran over 10 x 100 miler ultras good business 6 bedroom house two daughters beautiful life then picked up again at 40, (8 years ago) and lost it all. I experienced DTs twice this period. Two weeks sober now after admitting myself a&e with DTs. I had aliens zapping my brain hieroglyphics written on the walls and constant music prior for 3 days solid, it’s a nightmare. Keep up the good work watched nearly everyone of your videos and relate 100% to everything said. Spot on.
Dude. Wow. I never had visual hallucinations. I had auditory and sensory but never visual in the 4 times that I've been through this. I only had medical treatment once. And yes. I realize that's a bad idea and I could have and probably should have died. But by the grace of god I didn't. The one single line that hit home with me out of this video was its your brain mocking you as you die. Sent chills up me man. Because up until now I could never quite put into words how it felt. Thanks for this video man. We're all in this together. ODAAT!
Never? Not even when you closed your eyes?
@_BatCountry nope. Only when I've taken hallucinogens. I would hear old timey music in the background and sirens or voices very loudly. Like someone was screaming at me but it was all gibberish. And the sirens sound like theres a 5 alarm fire outside my window. And I constantly felt like there were bugs crawling all over me or that I had random hairs on me. One tome I felt like someone had put their arm around me or was full on bear hugging me. The paranoia was the worst. As the saying goes, just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get ya.
I attended a detox in Edinburgh about 10 years ago, for heroin, but it was mainly alcoholics. I was only there for a week or so, as you probably know heroin withdrawal only lasts a week. After listening to a few of your videos I'm glad my experience "only" involved pain.
I remember for the alcoholics they were given librium, which I would have taken gladly if offered. But they also gave the alcoholics another medication which would make them sick if they drank, which I thought was extreme, since they had entered the clinic voluntarily.
I think your input is very valuable as people rarely talk about the withdrawal effects of alcohol, but a lot is spoken about opioids, or crystal meth, for example. Best of luck.
I witnessed DTs first hand my brother was an alcoholic, he was hallucinating for 2 days straight after trying to quit cold turkey, the things he seen were terrifying 😮😢, he eventually committed suicide in 2009, i miss him everyday , i have struggled with alcohol for last 2 years lost my dad last year snd partner and kids of 13 yrs but im now doing better and going sobar October i still drink from time to time but im a hellauva lot better these days, hope anyone struggling finds a way to stop or change their lifestyle xxxx bless u all
Sorry to hear about your brother. Congratulations on trying to stay sober! You definitely aren't alone. I lost my mother the same way. A lesson we both have to keep fighting! Sending you the strength I hope we keep!👊
Interesting stuff, great video!
Thanks!
Although I've never had DT's, I did only just about survive an illness 15 years ago that did have a lot of similar effects. A lot of what you say resonates and,even all these years later,I can honestly say there isn't a single day where I don't think about it in some way or another and,from the permanent detrimental effects it left me with,I quite openely admitted to a friend that it would have been better if the life support had been turned off at the time. Even though I've never had the same problem as you I can identify with what happened and you tell your story with a very calming voice.Well done and all the best mate.
Another banger, thank you! Hopefully the lens you were working on was real or we’re all f+#^*ed.
😂😂
Thanks mate! And yeah, it's as real as anything else. Interpret that however you want.
Having to deal with that 2 week panic attack again is the principle reason i've been sober for 11 years.
Which lens is that and what happened to it? I used my Canon EF 50mm 1.4 on my last video and I have to manually focus it because the autofocus doesn't work half the time with the R mount adapter. Ahh. Our old friend delirium tremens and alcoholic hallucinosis. I am totally with you. Great content as usual, my man.
It's a 1963-ish Meyer Optik Oreston 50mm f1.8, not the most beautiful lens I own but definitely the most versatile. It's got the balance of image quality, character, and practicality that I need day-to-day. Nothing in particular happened to it, it just developed a rattle and needed some love.
I'll be checking out your new one shortly :)
I'm really sad I didn't see this video sooner as I've just tried to order your book and it has sold out! Please let me know when you have more available 😊
I certainly will. To be honest I'm absolutely stunned that they sold out in 3 hours. I had no plans to get more, but I willnow.
@_BatCountry great! glad to hear it! And congrats!
I’m with you on the horrible faces… I called it legions of demons….just all around floating,mostly just faces on heads..
And the rare tactile hallucination…mine was that the inside of my mouth was melting and sliding down my throat or down whichever way I turned my head, I was trying to position my head right so my mouth would maybe heal correctly
Oh my god that sounds absolutely terrifying, wow!
Oh gourd, i dont think i ever had a tactile hallucination. Everyone is a bit different, when i was suffering the worst, if i touched a hallucination it would disappear or "turn into" something real. Like i might have seem someones face or head, but it was really an object d' art that was the, hmm, the placeholder? Anyway, good to see you today, hope its a good week my brotha. Oh, and headphones? I am okay without headphones, but i always sleep with the lights on. Its... I have to.
Hello mate! Good to see you here too. My week is going great, I hope yours is too?
@@_BatCountry it's pretty amazing , and you be of those things You Know, long term sober let's you Get Shiat done. I am planning a services and product launch in 2.5 weeks, and I think I'm gonna make it. It is gonna be a big, big push this weekend. Heh, and of course If you build it they will come... Eventually:) But I work better with clear, reasonable deadlines. (It's software and services)
Also love the music bro it reminds me of that ending song in the Shinning when the camera pans in at that picture of 1920 Jack lol. 👍
Brilliant reference great movie ❤❤❤❤
@@JimmyJ1983 yes sir that ending scene is burned in my brain for life LOL
Would love to buy the book, but it says out of stock on your site. I guess I'll have to order it from amazon. Anyhow, absolutely love your content. Beautifully descriptive storytelling and overall brutal honesty is unparallel to anything I've come across on yt. Also appreciate and can deeply relate to your thoughts on alcoholic logic and perception. Please carry on ❤
Hi there! Yeah they sold out overnight - I can't believe it, and I didn't expect it. And yeah, you can get it through Amazon, it's the same book.
Thanks so much for the comments and the support, it means a lot to me.
The 28 days is what the insurance will pay for. That’s why they want to keep you there that long and then release you.
Great stuff. Thankful that I have never ever experienced DTs. Great vid 👍
Thanks as ever, Pete.
9 days sober today enjoying your channel Bat Country
I think the paranoia starts in withdrawal, but then is massively enhanced in a much deeper darker way by continuing to drink after the paranoia. Becomes deep rooted and messed up. It’s hard to come back from that. It becomes a part of you you’ll never be able to fully shake off.
Love your stories, cause I can relate
That German woman interaction on the grounds sums up my love life.
I quite love your videos. What is that music in the background? Sounds nice but very hard to make out!
Thanks! Those are vintage tracks that are out of copyright, I use very lo-fi versions because it kinda sounds like what I hear at the start of delirium tremens.
I can relate to what you are saying and feeling been sober 7 years and still now i get those and its frightening because it feels real still
Alcohol services advise alcoholics to taper off to avoid severe withdrawals like DT’s. Most alcoholics are happy with this because it continues to give them licence to drink and they mostly can’t taper successfully. Whats your opinion on tapering and does it work?
I've heard some have been successful by having a spouse or someone they live with who's willing to help keep them accountable.
He has made a video about tapering off alcohol.
Aw thanks for pointing that out on my behalf :)
I'm gonna have to get that book. I hope you ship to Canada.
I *think* I do, but to be honest, I've never tried this before, so I guess we'll find out together.
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out.❤
You are such a good storyteller. At this point I am not sure anymore if you made this all up to promote your book.
I was worried people might think that :(
Love Bat Country
Exactly how I feel after my DTs I felt the after effects for days after and it’s got better after a week but still terrified of socialising. My DTs were not as severe as yours because I still had say 60% of reality but that could be my illness talking but still they were pretty severe but I rarely lost my full vision to that level, but the heart attack statistic is shocking plus on the start of my DTs I got a strong taste for my last drink and started to see really evil people throughout history, then the visions of hell and women screaming started to occur when I’d close my eyes. But this video helped me a lot and feel I was meant to see it after I commented about the after effects the other day.
You don't have to socialise mate. Take your time. Be a friend to yourself for a while.
I'm glad this one connected with you, and I hope you're doing better today.
@@_BatCountry yes I am on the 12 steps now never want to go back to that hell 🙏 though I won’t compare myself to a soldier but I feel like I’ve been to war
Subscribed I love your content
Thanks, it's great to have you with us!
I actually love these storys pure Mania,after heavy drinking i recall having horror dreams but not tremens
I like them too, I listen to a lot of other people's horror stories. Weird how similar they are sometimes.
I had DT's once and it wasn't even as bad as most peoples experiences, thankfully, but it still scared me so much i didn't ever drink again. Almost 6 years sober. I had trouble falling asleep after it, things in my head would become a bit strange i'd have panic attacks and that feeling that i am falling down. Lasted about 6 months.
I had similar long term sleep issues without alcohol for me it turns out I had unfinished business of a short my brain conflated things that needed to be done with needing to find food immediately and so wouldn’t let me get sleep because I was “starving”
Do you think it’s possible to be physically dependent on alcohol if you only drink wine at night? I know someone says that applies to them but I thought you would have to be drinking more than that for dependency to that level be present
Yeah I think it's likely that if you drink wine every night you're probably dependent on it, physiologically speaking. If that person were to sp, they'd probably feel some minor withdrawal for a few days. That would qualify as dependency.
@@_BatCountry thank you so much for replying. I worry about my friend that she will get really ill before she stops
@@_BatCountrywhat is “sp”?
I have to admit that I came to almost enjoy the DT's. Simply because I had so many that I knew that everything I was seeing, hearing and feeling simply wasn't real. It was akin to playing the lead role in a most grotesquely, disturbing movie. With odd moments of hilarity and excitement.
I'm not condoning it by the way, but I guess as I knew I was strapped into that rollercoaster ride again, I'd better make the best of it.
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
I can’t imagine.
I think I know what you mean, every now and then I feel like I miss it, and I'm tempted to buy one more ticket. That's alcoholism talking though, you know?
Bat Country, thank you for these insightful videos. Should I go to the ER if I have had shortness of breath for the last 5 day and over the last month have had a (very) minor seizure. I have also had 2 visual hallucination episodes. I go to sleep for 2 hours and the dreams are also very lucid in between the hallucinations.
Did you go to the hospital?
Have you tried high dose vitamin b supplementation?
I managed to acquire a thiamine deficiency through a terrible diet, and felt like a new person after I started taking a 50 mg vitamin b complex + extra benfotiamine.
I'm not an expert, but I understand that even though b vitamins are water soluble, recovering from a deficient state can benefit from higher doses over time.
Also, I would recommend researching or trying out fasting or keto diet for the cognitive effect.
When fasting (running on ketones instead of carbs), I enter a calm, focused, and slightly euphoric state, where I'm better able to identify and work on my problems instead of avoiding them.
Thanks for the info. Great.
I'm thinking the doctor and the Arab had a little deal worked out. Doctor gives him access to the ward, he gets a cut from the sale of stolen goods. I think gabapentin should be prescribed for patients coming out of DT. It helps to disrupt the amygdala from triggering the fight or flight response. It's used primarily for neuropathic pain, but it's effective in treating anxiety and stress disorders.
The last time I went to A&E with alcoholic hallucinosis, I was given librium and just sent immediately home once I'd swallowed them. Surely that wasn't right, given what you've said about how dangerous it is to send someone home with benzos in their system?
That's what they did to me too in the UK. Just pilled me up, put me on some kind of electrolyte drip thing, and then sent me home when my parents showed up. It goes against all the advice I've ever heard.
I still carry the trauma of my experience with delirium tremens with me. On the one hand it is like "your own brain" torturing you to death-- but I could absolutely not shake the impression that I was not alone; that I was being attacked by hostile spiritual enemies. I couldn't possibly have been responsible for my hallucinations, because what if I was? Yeesh. PS. Can't wait to read your book!
Absolutely Seb - those are the kind of conundrums that DTs make you face, aren't they? Most people will never have to contend with that kind of confusion. The books sold out really quickly so if you managed to get one, I really hope you enjoy it. If you didn't, I'll probably get more in.
@@_BatCountry you also mention in this video that OTHER people don't trust your perception either, and this has been incredibly irritating for me. Not long after, I tried to explain to a sponsor a complicated technical concept-- my brand new PC had been victim of a supply-chain malware attack that infected its boot package and made it install a bunch of viruses whenever I booted it up for the first time. Naturally I was mad and paranoid about what information I may have lost before I diagnosed the issue. He was seriously concerned that I was hallucinating or having an episode because I couldn't get him to understand how a brand new computer could have a virus. I quit AA shortly after lol; that really offended me.
I increasingly get the feeling there is something almost (or very) demonic about the sliding scale of the effects of alcohol. The end point being a hell of your/our own making. Its fascinating but I hope my in the field research is over I don’t think my heart would be able to take my imagination if I got the DT’s so I am grateful I can get a greater insight through your videos. I’d like to check out your book too! Need to get on it.
Bummer!!! Sold out. Back to Amazon… 💗🙌⛅️
Listening in the hot tub
Have... have we had a hot tub together now?
😆
Bro has anyone ever told you you look like Adam Calhoun? Before any fans start verbally attacking me for that let me say i really like Adam Calhoun so this is a compliment lol. I know alot of people dont like him but I do so again it was a compliment lol. Anyways another great video Sir keep em coming 👍
I do take that as a compliment, he's a handsome chap. We both went to jail for punching a cop too. Maybe I should release a rap album.
@@_BatCountry LMAO
@@_BatCountry All the crazy things ive done drinking I never messed with cops. There the biggest gang in the world lol. Ive heard too many stories about them taking guys into a cell that was out of camera view lol! Thats hard liquor tho you dont feel any pain till your sober then you feel all the pain lol
Good for you for telling that dr off. He should have believed you!
To be honest I'm impressed he actually went to check, ya know?
You are a gem you have been to hell and back ❤❤
Where do you find the background music you use?
I love your videos, but I ask why it’s so high or so very low along way. Is there a middle ground . As you seem intelligent person. Good thing mate
Oh God... I have no idea how my brain still works. By all accounts I should be dead or insane.
The feeling of jolting awake over and over again, just in case if I let my guard down I might die - always in bed when the day of constant drinking was over... Of course I woke up and drank. What the fuck else?
During one case of the DTs I hallucinated so viciously, I was in a complete other realm. I thought my heart was stopping and I ran out breath, but because I wanted to die, I simply closed the door of the hotel room I was in and waited for what I thought would be relief to come. My father was visiting me in Indonesia and was only downstairs... I didn't seek help because I didn't want any... just to slip away. I have told people occasionally that I know what hell looks like because i think I saw it in that .. trip. It was like all the regrets and fears and shame turned inwards in what I was convinced was a permanent state of suffering between this life and the next. It seemed to last for hours but could have only been ten minutes max. That wasn't my rock bottom. Eventually the seizures and malnourishment meant there was nowhere left to turn, which was the greatest gift I have ever known - that which I always hated the most - my body...
Now I know the world I had made for myself was enough of a hell as it was. Drinking alcoholically and for so many years was something I simply should not have survived. I have 19 months of sobriety, my body is fine and my recovery is strong. But I constantly dream about that hellish place as well as nightly drinking dreams - I doubt they'll ever stop and to be honest I wonder if they're a good thing.
An Alky's mug of tea.
I've got one the same. 😂
Ha! yeah I never thought of that. The bigger the alky, the bigger the mug.
25:38 you were thinking 🤔 either the girl is a hallucination or you’re going to catch a rape charge or something.
The way she was coming on, she could have caught the charge.
@@_BatCountry 😂
I guess I have had some symptoms of delurium tremens. Not haluzinations when I am awake, but really crazy and scary dreams, which feel so much like reality. I've also been wondering why they are always about such scary things. Why not cakes , fluffy animals, money, winning in poker, dating a super model...? Once I woke up yelling "Help! Help! Satan, Satan!" I have to say that made me laugh a bit.
Well that’s probably not DTs that’s probably the consequences of not getting enough REM sleep for a very long time as alcohol and alcohol withdraw disrupts this it will eventually result in waking hallucinations as your brain forces you into REM sleep while you’re awake
@@nothanks9503 I see things for a while immediately after waking up.
Btw, your experiences sound just as bad if not worse than my experiences with precipitated WD’s. God bless. 👍🇺🇸
Tremens sounds like a connection to the demonic.
Did I remember right that you wrote your book while you were drinking heavily?
You remember correctly - I wrote the first version drunk. It took six months, and it was trash, so I started again when I got sober, and it turned out MUCH better.
@@_BatCountry I’m also a writer. I used to think that I wrote my best work after a glass of wine. I’ve since stopped drinking completely and realised that this wasn’t exactly true. Lol.
I googled delirium tremens and it's literally a type of beer.. 💀
Yeah that's wild isn't it? It's really strong too. It's like calling a cigarette brand Lung Cancer.
I can see the tattoos on your right hand. The back of your hand seems like a compass. Soit (either in French) and then Goes. Meaning?
"So it goes" a reference to Kurt Vonnegut/ Slaughterhouse Five perhaps?
You are absolutely correct! That's exactly what it is.
@@_BatCountry glad to see all my reading hasn't gone to waste! Thanks for all the videos by the way. You're doing fantastic work for a lot of us!
@@drcarnage83 Are you the same Dr Carnage I know from Twitter, by any chance?
@@_BatCountry nah, they're probably an imposter mate. I don't use Twitter.
Thommy mc mc nulty
Missing out on sex with the German lady on pysch ward sounds devastating 😂😂
I seriously can't believe you're still alive. no way you don't have cirrhosis
been watching all of your videos on the topic because a month ago i quit drinking and that night i was hearing music and having insane thoughts and didnt sleep a wink. went to work the next day.. left after 5 minutes after clocking in. having an easier time lately. down to just 4 beers before bed and not waking up with the shakes at all. just tired and anxious for not sleeping well.3 nights ago zero sleep. 2 nights ago slept 4 terrible hours. last night slept in 2 hr intervals but did not wake up shaking, just sweaty and found myself falling back to sleep easy and had nothing but good dreams. woke up a tad shaky so had 1 beer and i'll have just 2 beers tonight before bed and see if i wake up with tremors or not
@@yppakcaasi5396How did everything go?
@@yppakcaasi5396taper slower you shouldn’t be doing a 25% reduction in dose over 2 days try reducing 10-20% per week
Why do i keep headaches after 10 months sober and a DT. I feel like shit. Is this ever going away. I feel like shit.
Sounds like you need to talk to a doctor, it could be a million things.
Nice background music
Thanks!
This needed a cat in the background
You're so right.
Ģod bless ❤
I alwags used to hear voices and see faces etc when on the gak. Callee 999 once telling th3m i was beibg invaded. They werent happy when they saw me
I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT AS A DIET 🤣
Would it not be better to simply switch to something like morphine then use modern medicine to get off that pretty easily the withdraw is hell but no DTs no seizures etc
Never had DTs
Thankfully I never had dts because I am an opiod user, but I cannot even handle the restlessness and ultra-bleak dysphoria. You have no energy. You lie down. Immediately you think I should pace back and forth! As soon as you pace back and forth you collapse on the bed and repeat this for at least two weeks, with zero sleep the first six days.
Sleep hypnosis don't be a puzzy
Switch to weed or mushrooms as you ween off