I do think the average INFP-ESTJ pairing (or any opposite type/duality pairing) has a better chance of working if both of them meet at an older age or after they've put in some work to heal and grow. Otherwise, in spite of the best intentions and a lot of love, it's not likely to work. Filling in for each other's inferior function is ok sometimes, but outsourcing it entirely stops you from growing. I think our subconscious knows this, and that's why we tire of such relationships. We have to grow for love to last or we just grow apart.
I agree on the relationship part. But I have had a really good friendship with an estj during middle school. We have nothing in common but we just go on sooo well with each other that it just didn't make sense how our friendship worked. We parted when I moved away. It is only later that I knew she is estj and I am probably infp. So yeah I think duality is definitely a thing.
When I first heard Wendy on Personality Hacker everything she said to me clicked. I think it had been my first time knowingly listen to an ESTJ and it convinced me that there is something to the theory of attraction your shadow type. I found her inspirational and most of all energizing. Even now, 5 min in, and I’m ready to start being productive at 1am. So Wendy, let me know if there is a male version of you. -ISTP
Maria, let me tell you. I am engaged to an ISTP (as I am sure I mentioned on the video) and it is the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had in my lifetime. The love that flows between us reaches the deepest part of my soul. It’s the only way I can describe it without sounding weird. Our thinking functions match, the intimacy is amazing, and we both accept each other since we are seen as society as highly critical. I find his ability to think things through very beneficial, and he completely appreciates the rationalization. We don’t show our feelings to other people, in fact, people don’t even understand sometimes that we care about each other as much as we do because they can’t tell in public sometimes. However, in private, the world completely opens up, because we feel so very safe with each other. And as a sidenote, if you ever want to have a zoom meeting, I would love to meet you. I am absolutely dying to meet a female ISTP. I never have
@@alito238 INTPs are not really compatible with us (in my opinion), though people that are ESTJ and INTP get together. I don't agree with two Ne-Si people together, (romantically) but that is a personal preference. Today, I am married very happily to an ISTP. I enjoy the Ti of INTPs, but I really need the adventure and sharp shooting decision making abilities of ISTPs.
@ I can see that since your a woman ESTJ. I think an ESTJ man (specially the one I know) does not like anyone else taking decisions but does appreciate Ti information. I 100% agree that the other way around an INTP would not be masculine enough for a ESTJ woman whereas an ISTP certainly would.
Wendy, thank you for this. It helped me understand the ESTJ I was dating a bit more. He cut off the budding relationship really quickly, and I think it was because he didn't see things going anywhere from a practical standpoint. When he ended things he told me he has a lot of respect for me and thinks very highly of me. I think he might have made the call a bit early before really giving us a chance. Did you ever have a regret like this, where you felt like you might have made a judgement call too quickly? By the way, I'm an INFP.
Thank you for your comments. We can be impulsive at times, but honestly, when we do not believe we see a favorable outcome, we like to move on. Best wishes!
Hey Irene! Happy you enjoyed the video. Question: Would you ever be open to being interviewed? I'm always looking for more ESTJs to chat with. Feel free to send me an email at joycemeng22@gmail.com if you ever would like to be on Type Talks and give more representation to the ESTJ personality type. :)
ISTP here, we are mostly in our man cave, working on whatever project takes our fancy in that moment. Workshop, computer room or other hobby where we work with our hands.
I generally like being people being clear (judging doms tend to be clear). However, estj's such as Wendy and Amy are just judging soooo much and so quickly
I think it may seem to be the ''cause'' of the dominant function they have which is suppose to be extroverted. Extroverted functions was said to be working at the moment,what is immediate so the judging is immediate also?
We do make quick judgments. Though as I have gotten older (I am 44 now, I do not do that as often at all. As a life coach, I have learned to not judge as quickly and wait for information.
Honestly, in my case, it is not so much that my time is more valuable than yours, I am just very careful with my time. My life is one big Tetris game where I craft my day. Does that make sense? When I spend time on a particular person or project, I want it to be valuable time, giving that time completely to what is in front of me. I am many INFJs in my life!
@@wendykauffman7528would you say it’s not possible for ESTJs to string people along? I’ve been dating mine for 2 years and he spends tons of time with me and is playful and affectionate with me. But Says he’s not ready for super serious yet but that he’s not using me as a placeholder that he does see that in a future but right now his focus is on work achievements. I do trust his word but I struggle understanding that and fear he’s wasting my time. I’ve read that estjs do take a while to let people in and don’t jump in like that easily. What do you think?
@@wendykauffman7528 You are a monster. I lived with your type who judged attacked and bullied me. So look at yourself before you go confronting people and attacking them because you think you have the right to play god.
This woman just spoke about herself for 20 minutes straight without taking a breath.
LMAO
fr, Joyce only said 2-4 sentences in between
I do think the average INFP-ESTJ pairing (or any opposite type/duality pairing) has a better chance of working if both of them meet at an older age or after they've put in some work to heal and grow. Otherwise, in spite of the best intentions and a lot of love, it's not likely to work. Filling in for each other's inferior function is ok sometimes, but outsourcing it entirely stops you from growing. I think our subconscious knows this, and that's why we tire of such relationships. We have to grow for love to last or we just grow apart.
I agree on the relationship part. But I have had a really good friendship with an estj during middle school. We have nothing in common but we just go on sooo well with each other that it just didn't make sense how our friendship worked. We parted when I moved away. It is only later that I knew she is estj and I am probably infp. So yeah I think duality is definitely a thing.
I'm an INFJ married to an ESTJ and you have to love them enough to always look at the bigger picture because they are freaking robots.
lol
I randomly watched this video and learned some valuable lessons.
Thank you.
When I first heard Wendy on Personality Hacker everything she said to me clicked. I think it had been my first time knowingly listen to an ESTJ and it convinced me that there is something to the theory of attraction your shadow type.
I found her inspirational and most of all energizing. Even now, 5 min in, and I’m ready to start being productive at 1am.
So Wendy, let me know if there is a male version of you.
-ISTP
Maria, let me tell you. I am engaged to an ISTP (as I am sure I mentioned on the video) and it is the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had in my lifetime. The love that flows between us reaches the deepest part of my soul. It’s the only way I can describe it without sounding weird. Our thinking functions match, the intimacy is amazing, and we both accept each other since we are seen as society as highly critical. I find his ability to think things through very beneficial, and he completely appreciates the rationalization. We don’t show our feelings to other people, in fact, people don’t even understand sometimes that we care about each other as much as we do because they can’t tell in public sometimes. However, in private, the world completely opens up, because we feel so very safe with each other.
And as a sidenote, if you ever want to have a zoom meeting, I would love to meet you. I am absolutely dying to meet a female ISTP. I never have
@@wendykauffman7528 let’s see if we can get in touch via @JoyceMeng I don’t want to have personal details on a comment.
@@mariap1087 Yes! Absolutely!
I am ESTJ and my bro is ISTP. I absolutely cannot imagine dating an ISTP. I don't think it would work for me.
@@sweetbeep That’s ok. We wouldn’t want anyone that is unable to appreciate us.
Did your INFP ex-husband become overly dependant on your Te? If so, how did you feel about that dynamic?
Honestly, yes. He told me I was the brain for the family and no one ever had to think. He was the feeling for the family if that makes sense.
@@wendykauffman7528 do you think it would work with an INTP ? They also have Ti lead
@@alito238 INTPs are not really compatible with us (in my opinion), though people that are ESTJ and INTP get together. I don't agree with two Ne-Si people together, (romantically) but that is a personal preference. Today, I am married very happily to an ISTP. I enjoy the Ti of INTPs, but I really need the adventure and sharp shooting decision making abilities of ISTPs.
@ I can see that since your a woman ESTJ. I think an ESTJ man (specially the one I know) does not like anyone else taking decisions but does appreciate Ti information. I 100% agree that the other way around an INTP would not be masculine enough for a ESTJ woman whereas an ISTP certainly would.
Wendy is an incredible speaker.. Makes sense for an ESTJ 😆
I have only surveyed a small sample size, but it seems like a lot of life coaches are ESTJs.
Coach B!
Wendy, thank you for this. It helped me understand the ESTJ I was dating a bit more. He cut off the budding relationship really quickly, and I think it was because he didn't see things going anywhere from a practical standpoint. When he ended things he told me he has a lot of respect for me and thinks very highly of me. I think he might have made the call a bit early before really giving us a chance. Did you ever have a regret like this, where you felt like you might have made a judgement call too quickly? By the way, I'm an INFP.
Thank you for your comments. We can be impulsive at times, but honestly, when we do not believe we see a favorable outcome, we like to move on. Best wishes!
As a single ESTJ, I can relate. It’s great to hear from another ESTJ woman. Curious … where do the ISTP’s hide? Lol
Hey Irene! Happy you enjoyed the video. Question: Would you ever be open to being interviewed?
I'm always looking for more ESTJs to chat with. Feel free to send me an email at joycemeng22@gmail.com if you ever would like to be on Type Talks and give more representation to the ESTJ personality type. :)
ISTP here, we are mostly in our man cave, working on whatever project takes our fancy in that moment. Workshop, computer room or other hobby where we work with our hands.
@@robrobrob51
I get that and love that. And in what ways do you care to be found?
as an estj myself, she's fucking hilarious
I generally like being people being clear (judging doms tend to be clear). However, estj's such as Wendy and Amy are just judging soooo much and so quickly
I think it may seem to be the ''cause'' of the dominant function they have which is suppose to be extroverted. Extroverted functions was said to be working at the moment,what is immediate so the judging is immediate also?
But i think Introverted function can be immediate too when its framework is already locked in
We do make quick judgments. Though as I have gotten older (I am 44 now, I do not do that as often at all. As a life coach, I have learned to not judge as quickly and wait for information.
@@wendykauffman7528 i wonder, is Extroverted judging function become consistent to its judgement as time pass through, or base on its time frame
@@hanjesse31 Te is not consistent. Ti is.
Just off an interview with an ESTJ woman and I just need to take a moment for myself as a sensitive ENFP
what functions of hers would clash with mine INFJ man when people start saying their time is more valuable than mine i am gone like a road runner.
Honestly, in my case, it is not so much that my time is more valuable than yours, I am just very careful with my time. My life is one big Tetris game where I craft my day. Does that make sense? When I spend time on a particular person or project, I want it to be valuable time, giving that time completely to what is in front of me. I am many INFJs in my life!
@@wendykauffman7528would you say it’s not possible for ESTJs to string people along? I’ve been dating mine for 2 years and he spends tons of time with me and is playful and affectionate with me. But Says he’s not ready for super serious yet but that he’s not using me as a placeholder that he does see that in a future but right now his focus is on work achievements. I do trust his word but I struggle understanding that and fear he’s wasting my time. I’ve read that estjs do take a while to let people in and don’t jump in like that easily. What do you think?
You add narccisist toxic behavior to this type and they are tyrants!
@@wendykauffman7528
You are a monster. I lived with your type who judged attacked and bullied me.
So look at yourself before you go confronting people and attacking them because you think you have the right to play god.
pass istj worst enemy in our matrix
ENFP here should go on a break with an ESTJ male, so he can meet an ISFJ, ISFP, or ESFP.
Ive been abused for years by this type.
You are monsters!
BRUH