Ciaphas Cain - The Emperor's Silliest Clown Fighting His Funniest Battles

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  • Опубліковано 19 гру 2024

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  • @pancreasnowork9939
    @pancreasnowork9939  Рік тому +354

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    • @xxbomba9780
      @xxbomba9780 Рік тому +4

      Pls make a video about StarCraft races in Warhammer

    • @54032Zepol
      @54032Zepol Рік тому

      Bro Raid Shadow Legends slaps! Sure there's a lot of ads for it but it's the only mobile game I plays

    • @berthonycadet5441
      @berthonycadet5441 Рік тому

      yo pancreasNowork i love your videos and i would like if you make a xeelee video if you can. i have trouble starting it and it would help me a lot.

    • @Prophetofthe8thLegion
      @Prophetofthe8thLegion Рік тому +24

      Truly you fallen to chaos.

    • @marsfreelander5969
      @marsfreelander5969 Рік тому +3

      MILK FOR THE MILK GOD!

  • @ForgottenHonor0
    @ForgottenHonor0 Рік тому +7708

    What seemed like a retreat by the Commissar was actually a feint to lure the enemy forces into a frozen lake and sink their entire armored column, putting himself at risk all the time! Truly, Commissar Cain's genius is only matched by his selfless bravery!

  • @lordofuzkulak8308
    @lordofuzkulak8308 Рік тому +5345

    Cain is not so much a coward, as he is the owner of the galaxy’s entire supply of common sense. He’s also probably the only person in the entire setting that could charge into hand to hand combat with Khorne himself, survive and claim doing so was the cowardly option.

    • @anthonylamonica8301
      @anthonylamonica8301 Рік тому +369

      Depending on who was there to watch this particular feat, it _could_ be considered the cowardly option.

    • @Sorain1
      @Sorain1 Рік тому +646

      It was the cowardly option, behind him was Tzeench (who has future sight and warp powers), Slannesh (who even looking upon is worse than death) and Nurgle. (Getting near him would mean horrible death by disease even if you get away.) By contrast, Khorne is a purely physical threat who wants a good fight and so won't be going for the kill instantly, giving Cain a few more seconds of life at least. It just happened that the Emperor bailed him out in those seconds, likely because Cain dislikes 'emperor bothers' so when he started praying the big E realized this must be serious.

    • @chriwehl7173
      @chriwehl7173 Рік тому +367

      @@Sorain1 Khorne would want it to be an honourable duel too.
      And I wouldnt even be surprised if his being able to survive against khorne would be enough for khorne to kick him out of the warp and into the next battlefield just to see what will happen. Because wasting such good fighter material would indeed be a waste.

    • @Sorain1
      @Sorain1 Рік тому +197

      @@chriwehl7173 Hay, Khorne gave Tuska Demonkilla pretty much literally Orky heaven, so I can believe it.

    • @KillerOrca
      @KillerOrca Рік тому +224

      @@chriwehl7173 "At last, a worthy foe for my followers...you will not die here yet, Caiphas Cain. Your skull shall be taken as the final prize for a chosen's ascendance. NOW GO" (YEET)

  • @EdwardENigma-cg3kt
    @EdwardENigma-cg3kt Рік тому +2849

    “It is canonical that Ciaphus Cain fucks”
    This and “let it be known that the planet fell before the guard did” are my favorite sentences related to Warhammer 40k ever. Thank you

    • @Abysalss
      @Abysalss 11 місяців тому +34

      Cadia broke before the guard did

    • @MadJustin7
      @MadJustin7 9 місяців тому +58

      Off the top of my head:
      Inquisitor Amberly Vail of the Ordo Xenos.
      The planetary governor's daughter, Mira DuPanya
      The Tech Priestess Felicia Tayber
      The law enforcement Sargent Wynettha Phu
      The Voidswoman Karrie Straun

    • @MyH3ntaiGirl
      @MyH3ntaiGirl 9 місяців тому +2

      ​@@MadJustin7 The Slanessi Witch

    • @jackh7977
      @jackh7977 9 місяців тому +13

      The emperor broke before the Guard did

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan 8 місяців тому +1

      @@MyH3ntaiGirlHe blueballed her three times. THE THOT HAS NO POWER OVER THE LOYAL, EMPEROR FEARING MAN

  • @PhantomJavelin
    @PhantomJavelin Рік тому +4194

    I love how Cain keeps painting himself as a self-serving rat when he has a track record of, among other things:
    - Shooting _himself_ and counting on the sadism of the Dark Eldar Succubus who's trying to abduct him to keep himself alive
    - Calling artillery on his own position and waiting for the first shells to land before running away
    - Mentally withstands past the anti-warp powers of Necron Pariahs, steeling himself to retaliate with his laspistol while his stormtrooper (not guardsmen, _stormtrooper_ ) bodyguards immediately drop to the floor in a sobbing mess
    - 1v1'd a Khorne Berserker
    - 1v1'd an Ork Warboss

    • @thomasgrey9121
      @thomasgrey9121 Рік тому +543

      1v1’D chaos psyker warchief

    • @Makorze
      @Makorze Рік тому +561

      Pretty sure he's also gone 1v1 against a Broodlord...
      There is also that one time he killed Hitler.

    • @Astalos-ub4by
      @Astalos-ub4by Рік тому +327

      @@Makorze 40k lore is fucking wild

    • @Makorze
      @Makorze Рік тому +581

      @@Astalos-ub4by "Varian the Undefeatable" is his name, he has the ability to mind control anyone who can see him or hear his voice, the longer one is under the effect. The more permanent the conditioning becomes. He is described as looking like "a silly little man with a ridiculous moustache".
      Cain punts him of a building with a bolt round, on a global television broadcast, complete with a one-liner as he does it.
      "Commisar Donal sends his regards."

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +207

      @@Makorze The most fucking badass one liner after single handedly killing the enemy commander.

  • @foxdavion6865
    @foxdavion6865 Рік тому +3288

    Funny thing about the Demon Princess hot for Cain is that it wasn't those millions of lives she sacrificed to Slaanesh which resulted in her assentation, it was the fact Cain blue balled her and Slaanesh found that so amusing that Slaanesh elevated her to a demonprince just to see how things played out for amusement.

    • @alienz8641
      @alienz8641 Рік тому +499

      That is 100% canon and no one can convince me otherwise

    • @BigJubble
      @BigJubble Рік тому +605

      @@alienz8641 Honestly there isn't anything to suggest otherwise. Hell she literally try's to hook up with him again when she becomes a full Demon Princess. Apparently Cain D is some potent stuff.

    • @waifuhunter9815
      @waifuhunter9815 Рік тому +245

      Well he blue balled her twice now since she became a greater demon with he help of Jurgen and the Aeldar

    • @ES21007
      @ES21007 Рік тому +374

      ​@@waifuhunter9815
      Cain is so awesome that an Avatar of Khaine managed to kick ass while he was around.

    • @mortarion9813
      @mortarion9813 Рік тому +175

      @@ES21007 That's honestly a feat more impressive that most of his track record.

  • @qwefg3
    @qwefg3 Рік тому +3535

    As a popular joke I once heard... Cain is the worst fighter you can fight. You can not scare him because he is always afraid and thus any attempts to break his moral will be ignored as he is used to fighting with a broken moral!

    • @petrpinc7695
      @petrpinc7695 Рік тому +294

      That sounds rven more OP, than Space Marines, who know no fear, because SMs can still learn what fear is.

    • @romank90
      @romank90 Рік тому +135

      @@petrpinc7695 space marines do fear - in the short story (I think Primarchs book?) Konrad Curze ia breaking out of his cell and is enjoying the taste of fear of astartes warriors. So they do fear - its just really hard to scare them.

    • @Snarkknight5
      @Snarkknight5 Рік тому +14

      *morale

    • @lysander3262
      @lysander3262 Рік тому +37

      Ah, yes, the same as Usopp. Immune to depression!

    • @jamesneese7663
      @jamesneese7663 Рік тому +16

      so....where's the joke again. Sounds more like the facts than a joke considering this is Cain we're talking about

  • @ToozdaysChild
    @ToozdaysChild Рік тому +5829

    Fun fact which may or may not have been posted already: Cain's memoires were published (internally within the Inquisition) after his death. He died peacefully of old age, and was buried with full military honors.
    In spite of this, Departmento Munitorum service records still list Cain as being on active duty. He had a habit of going missing in impossibly dangerous circumstances and then popping up again a few days later, having miraculously survived. This happened enough times that Munitorum scribes got sick off changing his status back from 'KIA', so they just left it as 'active' in case he does it again.

    • @midnighteclipsed2738
      @midnighteclipsed2738 Рік тому +850

      Imagine cain being revived into living saint XD

    • @steampunkangel6530
      @steampunkangel6530 Рік тому +998

      @@midnighteclipsed2738 Literally they bury him then a few days later they get a report saying their was a cain sighting on the other side of the galaxy drawing a tau fleet into a larger imperial fleet.

    • @unknownguyindo4356
      @unknownguyindo4356 Рік тому +584

      @@steampunkangel6530 Knowing how The Warp works, It does make sense.
      Time and Space were intertwined in The Warp.

    • @sovietcurry8863
      @sovietcurry8863 Рік тому +438

      @@steampunkangel6530 So its like, Schrodingers Cain?

    • @steampunkangel6530
      @steampunkangel6530 Рік тому +409

      @@sovietcurry8863 Knowing warhammer most likely because the warp be crazy. So Cain could be dead of old age and yet he shows up in many different place at many different times.

  • @phaikia13
    @phaikia13 Рік тому +2206

    Ciaphas Cain is protected by the Emperor, Gork and Mork, and the 4 Chaos Gods because he is just way too entertaining for them to die.

    • @cheeseismyreligion4508
      @cheeseismyreligion4508 Рік тому +1

      Could be possible considering how he never once was corrupted, or have a complete mental brake down

    • @rakisuzuki-burke4148
      @rakisuzuki-burke4148 Рік тому +382

      The gods place bets on how he's going to get out of the situations they put him in.

    • @000Krim
      @000Krim Рік тому +23

      Fr fr

    • @DinnerForkTongue
      @DinnerForkTongue Рік тому +99

      ​@@rakisuzuki-burke4148 And, you know, someone may rig the game juuust a little bit if the bet against him is too high.

    • @thelegoyousteppedon
      @thelegoyousteppedon Рік тому +111

      Slanish:i bet you money he beats the hive tirant
      Tzinch:aight bet
      Hive mind:dude..the fuk

  • @khairallahdh
    @khairallahdh Рік тому +1058

    Can we talk for a moment on how great Gunner Feric Juergen is? Dude went to find some tea for Cain after cleansing a building of chaos sorcerers, only to find one last one performing a demon summoning in the upstairs kitchen. A demon forms in front of him, his presence weakening it so he easily dispatched it with his las gun. He then comments. “Iv never understood why people are so scared of these things. They aren’t that tough.” Before splattering the sorcerers skull, he then boils water and brings Cain some tea, no mention of demon killing.

    • @jg2323
      @jg2323 Рік тому +20

      Which novel did this happen in? Don't think I've seen it. Was it one of the short story novellas?

    • @khairallahdh
      @khairallahdh Рік тому +88

      @@jg2323 yeah it was in one of the short stories. It was part of a bundle so I don’t remember what it was called specifically.

    • @mp5284
      @mp5284 11 місяців тому +16

      It’s part of the anthology now on audible if you like the audio versions

    • @praetorian9823
      @praetorian9823 11 місяців тому +83

      Only correction is if I remember right he was trying to find “recaf” which is just a 40k version of coffee actually, not tea.
      Which led to one of my favorite tidbits of lore, where a trader was selling recaf that was so popular and tasty, the officers or even Inquisition had it checked to see if it was poisoned… and then I’m pretty sure gave themselves first dibs after.

    • @obergfamily9049
      @obergfamily9049 11 місяців тому +4

      ​@praetorian9823 That wasn't a correction that was you trying to find a way to wriggle into your coffee story 😂 No judgment, though. Get it in where you can.

  • @reecedignan8365
    @reecedignan8365 Рік тому +1204

    What I think I love about Cain most is that throughout all his novels, he constantly downplays himself and his achievements and just rewrites everything in the fashion of “I was just a coward trying to live”.
    But I think the amazing thing is, once you start to notice just how much Cain downplays everything and you start looking into what he does outside of his own personal sense of himself. He is the Hero of the Imperium that people see in him.
    From fighting a Hive Tyrant to a stand still.
    Discovering a Gene-cult (multiple times) and then defending them off multiple times until rescue arrives.
    He completely lead a resistance movement across one continent to another.
    He helped and was honoured by several Astartes - several who seemed to maybe see a bit more of Cain than he thinks but honour his courage and skill besides.
    He managed to unite 2 Valhallan regiments into a extremely flexible and working fighting unit and not only that, he actually pretty-much became the Gaunt of it too.
    He survived a necron tomb and not only defeated a ork horde on planet but heavily damaged/destroyed said tomb too.
    He’s uncovered several chaos cults and helped to stave off several tyranid, chaos and ork invasions from planets with not but a handful of other regiments and pdf.
    He’s fought greater deamons to a standstill and still not fallen an inch to the will of Chaos.
    He helped raise and teach a new generation of commissars in his own fashion leaving them a bit stand out from those outside his care.
    He’s one of the imperiums finest swordsmen who has not only matched but bested creatures and warriors who would be his superior.
    He is also a surprisingly good marksman who for all his “pish-posh” about having only standard if poor accuracy, can pick a small target off at quite the distance for a las pistol.
    He’s made friends with hundreds of people across the universe.
    He’s found a love and companionship in a Inquisitor.
    He’s managed to leave a legacy behind him which helps to inspire those around him and later reading on his exploits.
    And yeah while he prefers to avoid all danger, when he arrives at it, he faces it down each time and actually strives to protect those under him even sometimes at the cost to himself - tho he never admits such.
    Cain for all his small faults, is a Hero. And it’s sad that he never came to understand or appreciate that fact at his end, but his closest companion and even his lover seemed to understand him a bit more.

    • @HeIsAnAli
      @HeIsAnAli Рік тому +114

      Not just _a_ Hero, but _the _*_HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!_*

    • @johntowers1213
      @johntowers1213 Рік тому +135

      when you open up the Imperium's version of the DSM 5 and Look under the heading for "Imposter Syndrome" you'll find a full color picture of Cain looking at you and a big long list of all the excuses he comes up with to deny he's not actually a "hero" at all.

    • @PurpleH4z3
      @PurpleH4z3 Рік тому +126

      He fought a practice duel against an space marine, got a scratch in his armor and the space marine tells him he will leave the scratch there as a reminder to never undestimte his oponent
      He literlly humble a space marine in a duel

    • @Kwisatz-Chaderach
      @Kwisatz-Chaderach Рік тому +9

      100%

    • @MR.LMR1996
      @MR.LMR1996 Рік тому +49

      As the old saying goes: Courage isn't the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it. Cain embodies that saying in spades with his track record.

  • @jonathanredacted3245
    @jonathanredacted3245 Рік тому +7271

    So basically cain is just a decent guy who has rational fears but was brought up to believe those fears are a sign of unforgivable cowardice

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +443

      Yes.

    • @jonathanredacted3245
      @jonathanredacted3245 Рік тому

      @@nationalsocialism3504 holy cockcarpets a fucking nazi

    • @istvanpalanki5316
      @istvanpalanki5316 Рік тому +710

      kinda like a normal scifi main character just threw into the wh40k nightmare

    • @HubiKoshi
      @HubiKoshi Рік тому +628

      He is a sensible man in a world full of death worshippers.

    • @cookiecraze1310
      @cookiecraze1310 Рік тому +414

      @@istvanpalanki5316 with a complete set of plot-class body armour and the seduction skills of a bard.

  • @Calumba1904
    @Calumba1904 Рік тому +7260

    My favourite Cain moment is when they come across a Slaaneshi daemon that takes the form of who the perceiver most desires. To Cain the daemon looks like Amberley so he immediately pulls out his pistol and says, “Impersonating an Inquisitor is punishable by death!” and shoots it xD

    • @SiegeTF
      @SiegeTF Рік тому +797

      That was after the glamor was broken.

    • @johnletterman4760
      @johnletterman4760 Рік тому +41

      0p0

    • @RookCM
      @RookCM Рік тому +754

      yeah i will say, he did believe it 100% for a bit and lower his weapons, it was only when Jürgen returned from his trip and he saw her melt a PDF dude were he wakes up and becomes cool. although i love that book, honestly i prefer the stuff with beige trying to get him

    • @Motleydoll123
      @Motleydoll123 Рік тому +292

      well it wasnt a daemon but a slaaneshi sorceress, but its still a badass moment.

    • @SirMarshalHaig
      @SirMarshalHaig Рік тому +71

      @@Motleydoll123 How I know Cain it was a greater demon a month later ;)

  • @_NIKOS9_NIKOS
    @_NIKOS9_NIKOS Рік тому +3958

    Honestly I think that Jurgen eventually does realise that Cain isnt as smart as everyone around him makes him out to be but he just doesnt care since he is the only person in this crapsack of a galaxy that treats him like an actual person and he just goes along with it

    • @jamesflowers1295
      @jamesflowers1295 Рік тому +443

      Being Cain's secretary must have tons of perks

    • @Elenrai
      @Elenrai Рік тому +534

      @@jamesflowers1295 Basically everyone wants to give him shit because he is a Blank, but Cain is in fact aware of this, so Cain understands at least that Jurgen is very very important, as Amberly eventually tells Cain as much(Jurgen is AFAIK unaware of his own nature) but yea...I mean...Jurgen literally got an inquisitor with a vested interest in his well being along with the greatest commissar there ever was, nobody ever gives him any shit outside of thinking he smells really bad :D
      For reference some people will outright want to murder a Blank, that is how unlikeable they are to humans with regular souls.
      Only reason Cain is still alive is in fact Jurgen tending towards carrying a chonky Melta gun whenever he expects trouble!

    • @pugsondrugs5480
      @pugsondrugs5480 Рік тому +394

      The whole thing with blanks is that they creep people out without even trying, so everybody either ignores them or hates them on sight. In the first chronological story, Cain actually went back to save Jurgen. I don’t think anybody had EVER done anything like that for him. And yeah, he actually seems to value and treat Jurgen like a human, and ignored his (many) flaws and quirks. Unsurprisingly Jurgen would’ve (and did) walk into hell for Cain.

    • @MyH3ntaiGirl
      @MyH3ntaiGirl Рік тому +136

      @@Elenrai he isn't a bad trooper aswell
      Good marksman
      Brave as hell, willing to sacrifice himself to save Cain

    • @theriveracis5172
      @theriveracis5172 Рік тому +165

      @@jamesflowers1295
      Memory serves, there's some mention of this, since Jurgen basically can get whatever he wants.
      Fortunately, he only has minor tastes. Porno slates, being the big one.

  • @TheRavennss
    @TheRavennss Рік тому +1909

    Interestingly, what I like most about Cain is that when one of his soldiers had children, he would become the regiment's official nanny until the infant could be safely sent to Valhalla. Imagine Cain as a kindergarten teacher.

    • @kristiankepley5944
      @kristiankepley5944 Рік тому +283

      Especially if all the kids love ‘uncle Cain’

    • @JamesTobiasStewart
      @JamesTobiasStewart Рік тому +469

      He insists he didn't enjoy dealing with 'little brats' while also mentioning he got picture books sent in and that he sent Jurgen out to "acquire" some soft toys for them to play with.

    • @MegaKnight2012
      @MegaKnight2012 Рік тому +277

      Given the insanity Cain deals with in the military, that sounds like a perfect preparation for kindergarten teaching.

    • @ES21007
      @ES21007 Рік тому +36


      Where was this shown?

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +189

      @@JamesTobiasStewart sounds like Cain. He claims to be heartless but damn. Will he bat for his soldiers to hell and back of earned.
      Ans that is why they also fight so hard for him.
      Hr challenged a chaos Warlord no less, to honour thr loss of a student of his. To 1v1 combat. And gave him his sash. No one saw this. This was to personally honour someone who earned his respect.

  • @tiggytheimpaler5483
    @tiggytheimpaler5483 Рік тому +504

    One of the funniest things about Caine is that when i was in the USMC, Caines books were up for review to be added to the recomended reading list for officers and enlisted leaders simply because his leadership solutions and his ability to turn any situation into a surviveable scenario

    • @razorburn645
      @razorburn645 11 місяців тому +61

      What would Cain do?

    • @haleffect9011
      @haleffect9011 10 місяців тому +8

      Were they though?

    • @ImperialGuardsman2
      @ImperialGuardsman2 10 місяців тому +8

      ​@@haleffect9011you've clearly never been in the military.

    • @haleffect9011
      @haleffect9011 10 місяців тому +27

      @@ImperialGuardsman2 I haven't, but if you were, were they actually actually accepted as part of recommended reading or rejected? Up for review to me means that they were thinking about it?

    • @Uruz2012
      @Uruz2012 3 місяці тому +18

      I sort of hope they weren't. Too many people would miss the satire of the setting and think that US marines ought to act like space marines.

  • @thegeneralmitch
    @thegeneralmitch Рік тому +1529

    Cain: "Emperor, why do you give me your most difficult challenges?"
    Big E: "Because you are a funny monkey and the funny monkey will dance for my amusement. Now get up, you have Necrons to run away from."
    Cain: "Yes sir-aaaaaaaaaaaaaghh!!!"

    • @dreadlindwyrm
      @dreadlindwyrm Рік тому +247

      "The Emperor protects - but you should assume he's busy protecting some other poor sod, and watch your own tail feathers"

    • @khylerbane4523
      @khylerbane4523 Рік тому +82

      I read this in their TTS voices.

    • @stalinsoulz7872
      @stalinsoulz7872 Рік тому +74

      @@khylerbane4523 now I want it another spin off about Cain and big E constantly vox calling while everyone is confused at him talking alone while on a very very certain Suicidal missions

    • @SMAXZO
      @SMAXZO Рік тому +109

      Cain: So I'm done, right, your Holiness? I can finally rest?
      Big E: NOPE! YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME FIND MY SHATTERED PSYCHE...and some of them are stolen by this Necron fella....what was his name again? Trashy the Incontinent?
      Cain: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
      Big E: Relax...here's Jurgen...and a picture of Amberley naked and lubed. Have fun!

    • @MrJH101
      @MrJH101 Рік тому +16

      Sounds more like Tzeentch was having a laugh at Cain’s expense.

  • @random3x70
    @random3x70 Рік тому +1735

    One of my favourite bits that actually shows Cain being a brave and loyal soldier is one of the later books where he and Jurgen are desperately trying to escape from Tau battlesuits but they end up crashing. This is when they are a fair bit older so they aren't doing so good and Cain makes a break for it, but Jurgen is too badly hurt to follow.
    Cain turns around and runs back to try help Jurgen even knowing it would likely lead to his death. The Tau though hold fire because Cain is one of the few Imperial Humans they would be willing to work with and they had a bit of a bug problem for him to help with. But he didn't know that and basically went back to likely die with his best friend.

    • @DJROCKSTAZ
      @DJROCKSTAZ Рік тому +65

      Did Cain ever work with the Tau?

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +209

      @@DJROCKSTAZ in The Greater Good and For The Emperor that I know of.

    • @antitroller101
      @antitroller101 Рік тому +202

      @@DJROCKSTAZ Twice in a kinda sorta way and there was a bigger threat to deal with in both situations for both sides which were the tyranids. Funny enough his first encounter with the Tau was with a Kroot and they got along pretty well (despite the awkwardness of the situation for Cain).

    • @yaelz6043
      @yaelz6043 Рік тому +129

      Willing to die for a blank he can't stand even being near. Now that's friendship and heroism.

    • @stalinsoulz7872
      @stalinsoulz7872 Рік тому +99

      @@yaelz6043 in Cain's perspective jurgen is the only competent meatshield he has that save his ass and jurgen being with him for the duration of his service has gotten a close bond like a respectable associate. even if he wanted to dipped and save his ass he knows without jurgen the chances of him getting out is direly slim even with plot armor cause Cain knows jurgen always got his ass covered and would rather take chances dying with him than leaving him dead only to die later.

  • @Darek_B52
    @Darek_B52 Рік тому +2718

    The funniest thing is. Cain isn't really a coward. Not technically. If he see's a path that will get him out of something he'll go headfirst into it. No matter how dangerous just so long as it's less dangerous than the alternative.
    I mean he's holstered his pistol in a room full of drawn guns and itchy trigger fingers
    Stared down and chewed out a mob of angry Guardsmen
    fought in close combat with Tyranids
    Slept with a Slanneshi cultist
    Evaded Necrons
    killed at least 2 Beserkers of Khorne
    and more. He may feel fear but the man is capable of not only confronting but overcoming.
    PS
    I forgot I wrote this and am shocked to find it got so many likes. I just stated lore highlights haha.
    Um if you want some fantasy 40K-"like" stuff well in Dread Delusion you can side with the Apostatic Union/Inquisition and fight against Gods and their worshippers. Just a small indie game I like.
    Have a good one.

    • @jalpat2272
      @jalpat2272 Рік тому +115

      Or we what call it Brave as he face his fear

    • @mr_cr1t1k4l_5
      @mr_cr1t1k4l_5 Рік тому

      Mf really slept with a slanneshi cultist im suprised his genitals ain't destroyed by that one encounter

    • @shuukenji6585
      @shuukenji6585 Рік тому +334

      "Slept with a Slanneshi cultist" Ah He overcome indeed...

    • @Darek_B52
      @Darek_B52 Рік тому +1

      @@shuukenji6585 I just realized he not only slept with a slanneshi cultist he also slept with an inquisitor...THE BALLS!

    • @Qardo
      @Qardo Рік тому +271

      Cain is by far the most average of all humans. Totally unremarkable. Yet, the man was highly capable, women loved him, Space Marines respected him (which is no small feat), his best friend was a Blank (and literally his living plot armor against most things), and he died of old age. Not even Old Bale Eye, Yarrick got that honor. I am sorry Yarrick fans. Cain is far better.

  • @jamess7140
    @jamess7140 Рік тому +1171

    One theory I’ve got on how the books portray Cain is that Cain intentionally wrote them for Amberley for her to enjoy after his inevitable death such that he tried to make them as lighthearted and comedic as possible to help her cope, because he clearly loves her. He’s just that good of a guy.

    • @000Krim
      @000Krim Рік тому +43

      :c

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan Рік тому +215

      The man who thought he was the galaxy’s biggest pile of shit turning out to be one of the greatest individuals, morally and professionally, to have ever lived is so heartwarming.

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +63

      @@TheCorrodedMan Telling his true lifestory in a comedic way doesn't mean he would be willing to lie to her about it, what's the point in doing so anyway? She already knew what he was really like and loved him anyway.

    • @ES21007
      @ES21007 Рік тому +74

      @@agentc7020
      She doesn't know everything actually. She knew he cared, but Amberly didn't know how much he cared, like with him seeing illusions of her on Adumbria because he cared about her. She also doesn't know some details like where he came from.
      And sadly, in the end, while Cain DOES love her, the latest story Vainglorious reveals he still truly only trusts Jurgen.

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +72

      ​​@@ES21007 Different kinds of trust I believe, he does trust her with *most* stuff, but her being an inquisitor kind of puts her in a conflict of interests, she wrote one time that she was glad she never had to choose between the imperium and Cain because she likely would have chosen the imperium and he knew that, Cain trusts jurgen so completely because Jurgen is absolutely loyal to him and only him.
      In the end their love was a rough one sometimes but still love nonetheless, there is very few people Cain has tried his best to keep safe even at the potential cost of his own life and Amberly's one of those so while his trust in her might not have been absolute, I feel like he still would have done anything for her (even not taking into consideration that she is an inquisitor).

  • @cthulhluftagn3812
    @cthulhluftagn3812 Рік тому +588

    Cain suffered from Imposters syndrome, he had raw talent out the ass but refuses to let himself realise it.

    • @JamesTobiasStewart
      @JamesTobiasStewart Рік тому +42

      The man had rolled a collection of 18s for his stats, but he was convinced the dice MUST have been Loaded, so anything he got for them was undeserved.

    • @Noisemarine
      @Noisemarine 2 місяці тому +5

      Cain makes the classic mistake of thinking that everyone overthinks and analyses things like he does so gets mystified that they don't reach they same obvious conclusions as him.

    • @Cainus44
      @Cainus44 2 місяці тому +3

      @@JamesTobiasStewart Collection of 20s, you mean. This is Warhammer 40k. We use wh40kRPG rules, not d20.

    • @CandleWisp
      @CandleWisp 2 місяці тому +3

      Like booster gold then

  • @DoctorHomicide
    @DoctorHomicide Рік тому +867

    I love how Cain’s go to quite for going head first into dangerous situations is most often “Almost certain Death is better than Certain Death” it’s his justification for doing dangerous things

    • @HeIsAnAli
      @HeIsAnAli Рік тому

      1% chance of survival beats 100% chance of death.

    • @TheAKgunner
      @TheAKgunner Рік тому +28

      I think we’d ALL choose “Almost Certain Death” over “Certain Death “.

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +51

      @@TheAKgunner you overestimate how people would react to situations like that, normal people would hesistate, Cain just goes "damn that's rough, off to go to almost certainly die".

    • @TheAKgunner
      @TheAKgunner Рік тому +6

      @@agentc7020 I know. I’m just saying that, when presented with the choice between certain death and almost certain death, people will choose the option with the best chance of survival.

    • @connormclernon26
      @connormclernon26 11 місяців тому +6

      @@TheAKgunnerand that’s why Commissar’s exist in the Imperium. Against a Greater Daemon you have a teeny tiny infinitesimal chance of surviving that fight. The commissar will just shoot you in the head and that’s that

  • @jairovsleon
    @jairovsleon Рік тому +792

    Cain is so scared of necrons he almost drop his act when he saw the entrance of a tomb world in one of his adventures, but everyone who saw it tough it in the way of "if the fearless hero of the imperium show something similar as fear it means is very dangerous"

    • @Kameth
      @Kameth Рік тому +233

      If the Hero of the Imperium is bricking himself... You. Are. Not. Nearly. Afraid. *Enough.*

    • @stalinsoulz7872
      @stalinsoulz7872 Рік тому +98

      That part where he suggested taking an alternative or having more reinforcement And the debate goes until he just says okay.

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 Рік тому +39

      @nunyabusiness3786 fallout New vegas : *fatman launching nukes*
      "I don't want to see The wolrd on firee"

    • @alpha_9997
      @alpha_9997 Рік тому +9

      @@samfire3067 not as deadly as the big iron on my hip

    • @wfmacmillan
      @wfmacmillan Рік тому +7

      @@alpha_9997 big Iron on his hiiiiiiiip

  • @chrisroberts7000
    @chrisroberts7000 Рік тому +1095

    Hard to tell which has saved Cain more: Jurgen being a blank or Jurgen taking a melta gun everywhere he goes.

    • @mitrion301
      @mitrion301 Рік тому +178

      Both, both is good

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +129

      As someone who has played Dark Heresy, Black Crusade, & Rogue Trader RPGs... taking a meltagun wherever you go if you can get your hands on one is highly recommended, Plasma Pistols & Inferno Pistols are also good choices.

    • @kmsbismarckhoodaintshit4242
      @kmsbismarckhoodaintshit4242 Рік тому +21

      That's like comparing 5000 to 5001

    • @Makorze
      @Makorze Рік тому +74

      Its strange Jurgen always finds a Meltagun because the way Cain says it, he doesnt always think Jurgen could find one but he does.

    • @go5083
      @go5083 Рік тому +39

      @@Makorze didn’t jurgen get the melta from Amberley and just keep it

  • @Kameth
    @Kameth Рік тому +564

    Cain uses Jurgen as a human shield for paperwork and meeting people - but would not think of using him as a human shield in combat. I like to think that Jurgen has noticed this.

    • @JamesTobiasStewart
      @JamesTobiasStewart Рік тому +110

      I feel like that is one of the reasons Jurgen has such unremitting loyalty to Cain. Cain is probably the only person he's ever known, to treat him as worthy of respect, the only person who would go out of his way to save Jurgen's life and likely the only person who has ever shown Jurgen anything resembling friendship.

    • @it_Nexus562
      @it_Nexus562 Рік тому +44

      juren is more of a human eraser with that meltagun

    • @DinnerForkTongue
      @DinnerForkTongue Рік тому +38

      That is very much correct. And Jurgen is more than happy to oblige after Cain demonstrated your latter hypothesis.

  • @foxdavion6865
    @foxdavion6865 Рік тому +270

    There are three kinds of Necrons:
    - Those that see life as abhorrent and a weed on a galaxy they consider belongs to them.
    - Those that see all the civilisations in the galaxy bar the Eldar as being little more than insects and thus ignore them as such.
    - Then there is Trazyn the Infinite, who is so out of his mind that he treats the young races like they're actually sentient, yeah other Necrons think he is crazy.

    • @wolf2965
      @wolf2965 Рік тому +36

      Nemesor Zahndrekh that sees everyone as fellow Necrontyr (regardless of their actual race) is the fourth kind

    • @Sentralkontrol
      @Sentralkontrol 4 місяці тому +5

      @@wolf2965 it's implied he's faking it, though

  • @cero1968
    @cero1968 Рік тому +1110

    If Cain, Jurgen, and the 597th had official models, I'd have started my 40k journey as a Guard player

    • @internetzenmaster8952
      @internetzenmaster8952 Рік тому +66

      Cain and Jurgen do have models iirc, but they're ancient by today's standards.

    • @kalashnikovdevil
      @kalashnikovdevil Рік тому +10

      Preach it.

    • @AFAndersen
      @AFAndersen Рік тому +13

      Not only does the characters have models, but there's Valhallan Ice Warrior models too.. but as someone else said, they're ancient.. I still think the Valhallan troops look amazing for their age though.

    • @JoshMC2000
      @JoshMC2000 Рік тому +1

      Ye I wouldnt be making a guard army out of killteam kits either

  • @METALmurdererOG
    @METALmurdererOG Рік тому +679

    "...says she's afraid of the phycher because she's a loon, then stares at her t*ts" had my dying. I need to read some Cain novels

    • @OperatorVanta
      @OperatorVanta Рік тому

      The Psyker probably knew he was staring at her tits too. Which makes it even funnier

    • @kalashnikovdevil
      @kalashnikovdevil Рік тому

      To be fair, by all accounts she's got a stellar rack.

    • @templarw20
      @templarw20 11 місяців тому +21

      They're honestly the only 40k books I bother reading....

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 2 місяці тому +7

      Also a tech priestess, navel commissar. An planerty governors daughter . . He gets about.

    • @toomanyaccounts
      @toomanyaccounts Місяць тому +1

      you may want to look up the books that were the inspiration for the character. George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman series about a Victorian military hero adventures in India, Afghanistan.

  • @theriveracis5172
    @theriveracis5172 Рік тому +611

    Memory serves, Ciaphas Cain once even dueled a space marine of the Reclaimers, and actually got a strike in no less.
    Said space marine was holding back, of course. But still, that's no easy feat. And from then on, said space marine took Cain a lot more seriously.
    If I'm not wrong, the guy's also the one who built Cain's augmetic fingers. Which, goes without saying, is quite the honor.

    • @timothygrulke1308
      @timothygrulke1308 Рік тому +72

      Your memory is correct on all accounts

    • @xuanquang9815
      @xuanquang9815 Рік тому +92

      he's a Techmarine, and by their Chapter standard, techmarines are very well respected

    • @johntowers1213
      @johntowers1213 Рік тому +1

      those augment fingers he then used as a self deprecating excuse to help explain to himself why he was such a ridiculously crack shot as well.. for all the truth in the tales he tells about his life.. the heart of its really just Cain's inability to accept he's actually really an exceptional individual..

    • @thebighurt2495
      @thebighurt2495 Рік тому +93

      Dude even left the chink in his armor as a reminder to never underestimate an opponent again.

    • @pierre-mariecaulliez6285
      @pierre-mariecaulliez6285 Рік тому +62

      "I've lowered my power sword's output, you should be only dazed if I touch you....
      -I'm afraid I can't return the favor... **vrooOOOOOoooooms** If it bites, it bites..."

  • @thumpersmith4015
    @thumpersmith4015 Рік тому +305

    One thing that definitely shows Vail is not the stereotypical Inquisitor is when she not only let a pasty saleswoman live after seeing her, but actually inducted her into her group despite having no clear value at the time. That showed, to me at least, that she values human lives at an individual level, which is quick damn rare in 40K as a while, let alone in the Inquisition.

    • @HeIsAnAli
      @HeIsAnAli Рік тому

      Life is the Emperor’s currency. Wantonly killing people is a waste of said currency, and one does not waste what the Emperor provides.

    • @michalsoukup1021
      @michalsoukup1021 Рік тому +50

      Eh, the girl already showed she does not panic when pure strain gene-stealers are advancing on her,

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +20

      She had survived a fight, she also knew the localmplanet in ways outsiders not. She earned a long term place though.

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 11 місяців тому +2

      @@michalsoukup1021 she was in shock, the reason she could fight back was Cain putting his commissar training to good use.

    • @toomanyaccounts
      @toomanyaccounts Місяць тому

      she also let him kept Jurgen rather then grabbing him for the Inquisition.

  • @my9thaccount140
    @my9thaccount140 Рік тому +152

    Ciaphas Cain exists to be the Emperor’s entertainment as he sits suffering on the golden throne forever and you can’t convince me otherwise.

    • @Bungger
      @Bungger Рік тому +9

      I can’t, I won’t and I fully agree

  • @thewakeup5459
    @thewakeup5459 Рік тому +1922

    He has plot armor in a setting where very few characters get plot armor and he's vaguely aware of this.

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +225

      I don't know if it's plot armour. He's one of the few characters in 40k with common sense.

    • @nicolasgodines1129
      @nicolasgodines1129 Рік тому +379

      @@somethinglikethat2176 Tbf, that's basically plot armour in the setting.

    • @mkhlfdrv4031
      @mkhlfdrv4031 Рік тому +156

      Honestly, w40k is built around plot armor. Cain just manages to attach himself to people who have it in the first place.

    • @yuvalgabay1023
      @yuvalgabay1023 Рік тому

      @@somethinglikethat2176 not being ultra autistic is a super power in 40k

    • @elbolainas4174
      @elbolainas4174 Рік тому +61

      In a setting where everybody dies a sad, meaningless or heroic death, he dared to die peacefully of old age.

  • @anthonylamonica8301
    @anthonylamonica8301 Рік тому +3183

    I always hope that GW authorizes a story where Cain has to work with the Lamenters for some reason.
    Cain * Internally Screaming *: _"WHY IS EVERYTHING SO MUCH WORSE THAN USUAL!?"_
    Lamenters * Internally Screaming *: _"WHY IS EVERYTHING SO MUCH BETTER THAN USUAL!?"_

    • @csmrookie9600
      @csmrookie9600 Рік тому +781

      Imagine Cain and the lamenters end up in the worst fucking situation possible, but somehow due to cain’s cowardice and the lamenter competence via preparing for unlucky events, made it out alive without a single casualty. Making both parties scream in confusion from both wondering how the hell did they not die while tzeentch in the background laughs like the tentacle goblin gamer thing probably? It is while the god emperor of mankind nods in approval at their vanquishing of their worst foe yet. Also the lamenters actually get recognized for this and get a reward which makes them utterly afraid behind the next event of this, while Cain looks at them with the same feared expression.

    • @KillerOrca
      @KillerOrca Рік тому +446

      Cains plot armor and the Lamenter's terrible luck equaling each other out

    • @vaultdweller1386
      @vaultdweller1386 Рік тому +288

      @@KillerOrca It would become a literal grocery run, the worst they have to deal with is finding a parking space.

    • @KillerOrca
      @KillerOrca Рік тому +282

      @@vaultdweller1386 Cain leaning out the top of the Lamenter's Rhino, shouting down to the driver below him; "Theres one-wait, no thats taken, keep going, keep going, I see another around the corner...no thats too small...oh feth it, just park us in the handicap spot, they wont argue with us about it!"

    • @kingleech16
      @kingleech16 Рік тому +104

      @@vaultdweller1386 The mental image this gave me is priceless. Thanks!

  • @fiendishrabbit8259
    @fiendishrabbit8259 Рік тому +461

    His fighting skills are actually one of the few points where Cain admits that's he's way above average, being the best fencer in his graduating class at the schola and a very good shot with his laspistol. When he remarks that his instructors would gnash their teeth it's because he's picked up dirty tricks.

    • @Nickelback8469
      @Nickelback8469 Рік тому +51

      Even way above average would be an understatement for Cain

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +79

      "above average" fights a Khorne berserker in melee combat without dying... Cain is one of the greatest human swordsmen to ever live.

    • @johntowers1213
      @johntowers1213 Рік тому

      @@nationalsocialism3504 and he still believes at his heart he's the biggest faker in the Imperium. which is half the joke that makes up his character...

    • @ImpudentInfidel
      @ImpudentInfidel Рік тому +41

      Although even there Cain thinks he's "above average"with sword and pistol but the narrator thinks he's "probably the best in the sector".

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 Рік тому +28

      @@nationalsocialism3504 * normal human fighting a CHAOS SPACE MARINE KHORNE BERSERKER. Twice. Even If They where weaked.*

  • @utes5532
    @utes5532 Рік тому +318

    To add to Cain's competence: Inquisitor Amberley Vail says he's one of the best swordsmen she's ever seen, and for an experienced inquisitor that's quite the praise

    • @HollowedKnight66
      @HollowedKnight66 Рік тому +39

      I mean the guy 1v1ed a Warboss and lived

    • @SMAXZO
      @SMAXZO Рік тому +22

      @@HollowedKnight66 And WON!

    • @steppin8
      @steppin8 Рік тому +23

      And she would know better than most…… 😊

    • @Piemasta9000
      @Piemasta9000 Рік тому +37

      ​@@steppin8she has seen his "swordplay" first hand :)

    • @steppin8
      @steppin8 Рік тому +4

      @@Piemasta9000 HERESY!!!

  • @GaldirEonai
    @GaldirEonai Рік тому +126

    Regarding Cain's melee skills:
    The two World Eaters and the Hive Tyrant can at least partially be explained by Cain only dodging and distracting them so his allies could get a shot with heavy weapons.
    But the ork warboss (in _mega armour,_ even) he fought was 100% a one-on-one duel. No wounds or fatigue weakening him (not that either of those are likely to slow an ork down much), no melta blasts or autocannon barrages saving his ass, no psychic static from Jurgen canceling out the enemy's psychic powers or disturbing the hivemind at a critical moment.
    Just pure skill, a feint, and an extremely badass finishing move. And that was near the _start_ of his career.
    Also, his understanding of tactics and strategy (because a lack of these _gets you killed,_ and Cain isn't having any of that) was so complete that not only did Lord General Zyvan and similarly ranked officers ask for his advice...actual _space marines_ deferred to him on how to organize a defense. Okay, the one who did that was an Apothecary rather than a frontline officer but a.) he was still Astartes and b.) he was there with a small force of tactical marines.

    • @Noisemarine
      @Noisemarine 2 місяці тому +3

      To me his most impressive feat was sparing with a techmarine and scoring a killing blow the marine was genuinely suprised and impressed and gave him a warriors salute but Cain convinced himself the marine was going easy on him and being nice.🤣

    • @MerryMerryGold
      @MerryMerryGold Місяць тому +2

      trust me only dodging the blows of a world eater trying to murderblender you in melee is way more than most people can do

  • @flammablehero6529
    @flammablehero6529 Рік тому +603

    I’m convinced Ciaphas Cain is the 40k version of Ash Williams. A live action show with Bruce Campbell as Cain and Ted Raimi as Jurgen would be gold.

    • @DeadpanPear
      @DeadpanPear Рік тому +22

      Most underrated comment of our generation.

    • @jihadslowpoke
      @jihadslowpoke Рік тому +30

      He's Harry Flashman IN SPACCEEEE. Just like Gaunt is Richard Sharpe IN SPAAAACEEEE. Seriously, though, keep an eye out for Flashman novels, they're basically Ciphas Cain IN THE VICTORIAN ERAAAAAAAAAA.

    • @flammablehero6529
      @flammablehero6529 Рік тому +13

      Can you typecast by chin alone?

    • @sneedclavehere8918
      @sneedclavehere8918 Рік тому +5

      Holy fuck this is perfect, too bad Bruce is done with live action, at least he's ok with voice work

    • @HiddenEvilStudios
      @HiddenEvilStudios Рік тому +6

      Sounds groovy.

  • @dinodude6992
    @dinodude6992 Рік тому +2610

    An Eldar farseer: Cain must be an genius, look at him respond to ambushes that he somehow discovered! I think he might be a psyker!
    Caiphus Cain: *internally screams as he runs away from a horde of tyranids*

    • @flyboy6392
      @flyboy6392 Рік тому +283

      what Psykers hear whenever Cain's in combat: aaaaaaaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    • @EnbyOccultist
      @EnbyOccultist Рік тому +329

      @@flyboy6392 He's shielding his thoughts to those who may try to gain an advantage with psyker powers, truly he is ready for anything!

    • @flyboy6392
      @flyboy6392 Рік тому +149

      @@EnbyOccultist I know, but even then, nothing like psychic SCREAMING to hide your true thoughts!

    • @nikoladedic6623
      @nikoladedic6623 Рік тому +22

      Must be this universe's version of Captain Tylor.

    • @dikkie1000
      @dikkie1000 Рік тому +25

      @@flyboy6392 So he's related to Sly Marbo?

  • @fluffywolfo3663
    @fluffywolfo3663 Рік тому +494

    9:50 theres two very interesting things about Cain’s great relationship with the commanding officers - first, Cain downplays it but Amberley goes out of her way to explain how phenomenally rare it is.

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +131

      It's kind of sad that Cain often doesn't realise that the way many in the Guard treat him is due to liking and respecting him, rather than his scarlet red sash.

    • @shuwan4games
      @shuwan4games Рік тому +40

      @@somethinglikethat2176 oh he know thats why he treats them with respect cause those that dont die to "friendly fire" plus he knows what to say to keep up his front

    • @LurchTheBastard
      @LurchTheBastard Рік тому +60

      @@somethinglikethat2176 He knows they like and respect him. A whole lot of his keeping face is trying to ensure exactly that so he can put a lot of volunteers between him and danger whilst avoiding the kind of "unfortunate enemy action" 5 miles from the front line that sometimes takes other commissars.
      What he doesn't realise, is that it does actually make him a good leader and valuable moral boost to nearby troops.

    • @mdokuch96
      @mdokuch96 Рік тому +19

      @@LurchTheBastard I am think that in his memoirs he is just joking about himself being a coward - maybe he feels uneasy with all that praise and thinks it is being undeserved due to the fact that he DOES feel fear. This is somewhat of a behaviour I find alike of a combat veteran, lying about himself "just doing papers in HQ" despite the fact he was doing anything but this and not in HQ but on the hottest places of frontline.

  • @theandromedaeffect979
    @theandromedaeffect979 Рік тому +199

    Cain is a great example that doing good things for selfish reasons still means you’re doing good things.

    • @iamblight707
      @iamblight707 Рік тому +31

      Bro isn't even selfish, he's just depressed as shit.
      Guy called an artillery strike on his own position, fought a daemon berserker, a psychic warlord, and a tyrannid master in 1v1s, and treats his guardsmen like human beings.

  • @HubiKoshi
    @HubiKoshi Рік тому +185

    Two absolutely awesome things about Cain is that
    1. He survived to retirement. Despite being a Commissar, despite being the go-to for suicidal missions, despite being an Inquisitor's toy, he Survived to Retirement.
    2. He died Peacefully of Old Age and was buried with full military honours. What's better is that he seemingly died so many times that the Administratum got tired of changing his status between Alive and Killed in Action and they decided to just keep it as Alive regardless of what they are told. Because of that Cain is Still listed as Alive in the records despite being buried.

    • @Forestxavier20
      @Forestxavier20 Рік тому

      They are just going to hear "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" from the backlines as Ciaphas *FUCKING* Cain comes in on a tank, no clue where he is. The Blood Angels and the Sisters of Battle immediately go "Cain has been reborn as an Imperial Saint! He must watch over the guardsman!" and you hear over his Vox "what? WHAT THE FUCK?!"

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +23

      Buried wil a full state funeral.
      No mere burial. Flag draped coffin, full military honours, marching escort the lot.

    • @HubiKoshi
      @HubiKoshi Рік тому +19

      @@alexh3974 Makes me wonder if any Reclaimers were present for his funeral. Imagine being such an unrelenting badass that members of an Adeptus Astartes chapter attend your funeral.

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +15

      @@HubiKoshi that would bring pretty epic if thr guard of honour was space marines.
      Suddenly you see a squad of marines marching two by two with a tech marine up front.

    • @HubiKoshi
      @HubiKoshi Рік тому +3

      @@alexh3974 I wish we'll eventually learn what Drumon's fate was... not a good one probably.

  • @yegkingler
    @yegkingler Рік тому +2676

    Here's hoping Cavill gets Cain a show.

    • @UnderseaPumaKing
      @UnderseaPumaKing Рік тому +229

      I PRAY TO THE EMPEROR that its not solely focused on Space Marines. I want to see the Guard. Mechanics. Eldar. Orks. Hell, I'd be up for some sections being centered around Tyranid point of view. Just not more Space Marines only crap. Unless its the Salamanders. VULKAN LIVES *stomp stomp*.

    • @TheBowTizzle
      @TheBowTizzle Рік тому +149

      If Cavill ends up playing Cain it would be amazing

    • @pluemas
      @pluemas Рік тому +56

      @@UnderseaPumaKing the Tau would legitimately be a good choice, would be a lot easier to include on screen that Ork tech or Tyranid swarms. They would also work quite well to ease newer fans into grim dark by providing some contrast and at least a little respite from Smurfs and grimdark.

    • @bencurran3204
      @bencurran3204 Рік тому +20

      I would watch that, but again, cavill in w40k would mean I watch anything he's in tbh

    • @NWLR-tv
      @NWLR-tv Рік тому +29

      @Tech Priest but being pessimistic means you already are

  • @pzbt
    @pzbt Рік тому +220

    95% of Cain's books is Cain going "At least it couldnt get any worse than this" and then a worse thing happens. And it's stupid fun each and every time.

    • @johntowers1213
      @johntowers1213 Рік тому +4

      only on the surface, Flashmans a real bastard compared to Cain..

  • @jarvy251
    @jarvy251 Рік тому +996

    I can't BELIEVE you'd list Caine's buddies without mentioning the cutest techpriestess with a propensity to snacc this side of the segmentum

    • @yaelz6043
      @yaelz6043 Рік тому +266

      She's the ONLY tech priestess with a propensity to snacc.

    • @HeIsAnAli
      @HeIsAnAli Рік тому +169

      And has a robo-tail.

    • @allenstanley3418
      @allenstanley3418 Рік тому +370

      @@HeIsAnAli You just reminded me of my second favorite interjection from amberly. Where she comments on how curious it is that Cain has somehow gained in-depth knowledge of how exactly the tail is attached to her.

    • @ShaqNasty557
      @ShaqNasty557 Рік тому +27

      Who? Please don't leave us hanging

    • @jarvy251
      @jarvy251 Рік тому +203

      @@ShaqNasty557 Felicia Tayber, Cain rescues her from an ork slave camp on Perlia and they go on a greenskin slaying adventure

  • @CollinBuckman
    @CollinBuckman Рік тому +74

    my favorite bit abt Cain is how GW has artists purposefully draw him with a bolt pistol on the book covers (when in reality he prefers using a laspistol) because the cover art is meant to be a propagandistic portrayal of him.

    • @JoshMC2000
      @JoshMC2000 2 місяці тому +2

      Ye and he hates the fact they do that. In a few of the books he passes comments on Holo films amberly subjdcted him to.

  • @cookiecraze1310
    @cookiecraze1310 Рік тому +101

    Kane mini-story that I think proves he was actually a good person: During his time with the 597th, he fought on a tidally locked world undergoing a Slaaneshi (and Khorn but to a lesser scale) invasion.
    A Khornate lemun-russ was about to blow up a troop transport filled with 1/5th of the 597th onboard, but Jurgen did have a melta and could've destroyed it. Problem was, abunch of new recruits had rushed the damaged Lemun (after Jurgen pulverised it's engine) and were climbing on it.
    Instead of sacrificing them, something litteraly noone else would have seen as an asshole move since it would save a company, he risked his life to rush to the transport and get it off the ground before it could destroy it. Even Amberley comments on how any other commissar would have atomised them, but Cain actually did the heroic thing to try save everyone, even if it nearly got him turned into a fine red mist.

  • @camiloparada9529
    @camiloparada9529 Рік тому +640

    Cain Is definitely a hero, and it's odd but while cain inspires everyone around him, he himself always finds his courage while Jurgen is around

    • @MyH3ntaiGirl
      @MyH3ntaiGirl Рік тому +20

      He knew that there one person who would die fighting by his side

    • @159tony
      @159tony Рік тому +9

      A blanks presence is unpleasant and Releases cortisol and a disgust response.. Hard to be cowardly if you are pissed Off.

    • @camiloparada9529
      @camiloparada9529 Рік тому +25

      @@159tony he wasn't pissed off, he got that familiar wet socks bouquet and knew he wasn't alone and the most solid trooper in wh was watching his back

  • @erichbohn4815
    @erichbohn4815 Рік тому +770

    Cain is just the opposite of Gotrek but in SPACE. He just keeps getting into bad situations and keeps winning. In short, Cain would be a horrible slayer.

    • @JustSomeDude42
      @JustSomeDude42 Рік тому +83

      I’m assuming the opposite part is that Cain does not seek death by big scary monster looking to vore him, does not want to go someplace deadly where something could vore him, and wants to go on to die of old age with minimal voreage?

    • @cavemancult1999
      @cavemancult1999 Рік тому +8

      @@JustSomeDude42 Yes.

    • @riccardo1796
      @riccardo1796 Рік тому +49

      @@JustSomeDude42 and he did
      He died of old age after a stellar career as a commissar and a propaganda piece

    • @crouchinglibcrab9527
      @crouchinglibcrab9527 Рік тому +31

      Technically Gotrek is also a terrible slayer

    • @JustSomeDude42
      @JustSomeDude42 Рік тому +20

      @@crouchinglibcrab9527 but he tries, and we love him for that.

  • @jonathanathor117
    @jonathanathor117 Рік тому +374

    8:05 as a necron enjoyer, I can confirm that the space tomb kings are indeed alot more intimidatig than chaos. Even more interesting by a wide margin.

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +18

      Interestingly he seems more affected by the events of Echoes of the Tomb than Caves of Ice and in Caves he faced Pariahs.

    • @ES21007
      @ES21007 Рік тому +17

      @@somethinglikethat2176
      In fairness, Echoes of the Tomb is when he lost his fingers.
      It was then followed afterward by a very tumultuous period where he fought Tyranids and orks, some of the happiest times of his life training alongside Space Marines, and then boarding a space hulk.
      Meanwhile the one in Caves of Ice was just another day of killing orks, surviving Necrons and having Jurgen save the day.

    • @brothercoconut6599
      @brothercoconut6599 Рік тому +1

      Cain may shit his pant if no one is around when he seen the flayed one in Caves of Ice

    • @isaacvogt9220
      @isaacvogt9220 Рік тому +1

      I actually had to stop because I couldn’t stop laughing at his remark at the end

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 Рік тому

      *eats flesh*

  • @GreatKawaiiGod
    @GreatKawaiiGod 11 місяців тому +34

    I think what sold me on Cain was in the first story when forced to punish a member of the Vallahlan guard he was in charge of, he told him he understood the hot climate they were in was unbareable for someone native to a frozen wasteland. So instead of shooting a man for trying to keep cool by wearing only his boxers and a tanktop he asked he wear pants from now on and put him on latrine duty for a few months, and kept the regulation for their uniforms as at least boots, fatigue pants, and a tank top so they'd all avoid heat stroke. Sure it was for his own intrest to avoid having the troops let him die should it come to it, but he did at least try and treat the imperial guard who worked under him as people and wanted to keep moral up by making sure they were all happy as oposed to the usual laz gun for those who had complaints. He's the ideal boss really

  • @Ofxzh
    @Ofxzh 5 місяців тому +12

    9:21 “Cain, would you like to explain how your regimen gained numbers?”

  • @Albatross159
    @Albatross159 Рік тому +285

    I want a Cain and Lamenters crossover adventure.
    Our boys in yellow just high fiving each other as they survived certain death while Cain is just weeping in the corner.

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +45

      Cain doesn't weep... regardless of how much he wants to

    • @JamesTobiasStewart
      @JamesTobiasStewart Рік тому +50

      The Lamenters I think would be weeping, because for the first time in 200 years, one of their fireteams completed their mission; as a total success with no unexpected backfire, with all brothers alive and all their limbs intact.
      They would send a request for Cain to be attached to them going forward and said message would, of course, get lost before any higher up could even has a chance to say no.

    • @Plauge_Dragon
      @Plauge_Dragon 4 місяці тому +1

      There was an attempt... but it died after one chapter.

  • @4realm8rusirius
    @4realm8rusirius Рік тому +391

    CI-CI-CI CIAPHAS CAIN HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

  • @cthulhubecausewhynot1182
    @cthulhubecausewhynot1182 Рік тому +370

    There actually is another win for an Avatar of Khaine in Valedor where it kills a literal mountain of Tyranids after being left on a planet following a failed Eldar assault on the remnants of a massive Hive Fleet.
    Seriously, read Valedor, it’s probably one of the only books that gives the knife-ears a decent showing.

  • @gnaskar
    @gnaskar Рік тому +71

    What wasn't mentioned in detail was how often Cain does something brave, heroic or selfless, and then has to admit in retrospect that he has no idea why he did that. He risks his life to try to stop a trooper falling into a hole in an ice cave and blames it on adrenaline, tries to dig his way back to a genestealer brood after being separated from his troops by a collapsing wall and blames it on shock, it never even occurs to him to order Jurgen to shoot a tank that's threatening both him and a dropship full of troops because there's a squad of guardsmen trying to take it down with grenades and he's unwilling to risk friendly fire. A third of the time he's genuinely running away while accidently heading toward a bigger threat, a third of the time he's doing the heroic thing because he figures it will definitively kill him if he doesn't do something, and a third of the time he does the heroic thing and then tries his hardest to come up with an excuse that isn't that it was the right thing to do.
    My favorite scene is the one where he drives a chimera off a cliff, dragging a burning blimp full of fuel behind it to save the airport from the explosion. That or any scene where they list the accomplishments of corporal Jinxie, who also seems to have Cain's streak of bad luck, just without the charisma to be able to claim that she meant to do that.

    • @jackbaxter2223
      @jackbaxter2223 Рік тому +25

      Or Cain reflecting that the cult must have fallen for the propaganda about him being such an amazing leader that they had mistakenly believed him to be in charge and didn't realise that assassinating him wouldn't have achieved anything at all. Then Amberly notes that Cain doesn't seem to have realised that his death would have had an absolutely devastating effect on regimental morale.

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +13

      @@jackbaxter2223 regimental? More like planettary morale, "the goddamn hero Ciaphas Cain bit the big one on my planet? Fuck"

    • @KaoKacique
      @KaoKacique Рік тому +8

      @@agentc7020 The death of Ciaphas Cain could make a Cadian have second thoughts

  • @dustind4694
    @dustind4694 Рік тому +11

    *Humanity's Last Actual Hero
    *Fighting Imposter Syndrome In A Galaxy Of Overconfident Lunatics

  • @JinzoTK
    @JinzoTK Рік тому +480

    You know, I am so used to Amberly Vail intejecting whenever Cain says something negative about her that when you called her a smartass, I actually expected her to interject.

    • @kalashnikovdevil
      @kalashnikovdevil Рік тому +40

      Shit that would have been amazing lol.

    • @go5083
      @go5083 Рік тому +52

      If they ever make a series with Cain I want there to be narration done by Amberley

    • @darthrevan4933
      @darthrevan4933 Рік тому +5

      @@go5083I’m imagining that as being like how I met you mother and with amberly’s interjections and somehow it works

    • @templarw20
      @templarw20 11 місяців тому +5

      @@go5083 I'm now imagining Helen Mirrin as the elder Amberly. THAT level of calm snark. Though with the juvi treatments, she's probably barely past her 40s, physically. Maybe Karen Gilliam.

    • @ssjjshawn
      @ssjjshawn 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@templarw20I mean Cain was pushing the edge if his Juvenats, especially as a Puritan Inquisitior, Amberly likely didnt out live Cain by more than a century

  • @jamesliu8095
    @jamesliu8095 Рік тому +624

    amberly had cain figured out the first time she met him, and cain knew that she knew, and she knew that cain knew so he was basically the perfect man to help her.

    • @drkblade0958
      @drkblade0958 Рік тому +76

      I'm smelling some serious Tzeentchery up in this comment.

    • @Zeppongola
      @Zeppongola Рік тому +104

      According to cain's memoirs... as edited by amberly, of course. Always possible she's edited things to make herself sound more insightful/avoid the embarrassment of being known as an inquisitor who didn't realise his true personality after an extended relationship.
      Or maybe she edited them very faithfully, and that's exactly how it went. Unreliable narration is fun, and the cain series gives us a double-whammy of it to play with

    • @jamesliu8095
      @jamesliu8095 Рік тому +32

      @@Zeppongola ‘Oh yes, the modest hero routine. You’ve got that one off pat, no question.’ She knocked back the rest of her drink in one, and signalled for another, leaving me gaping like an idiot. Her smile widened. ‘What’s next? “I’m just a humble soldier,” or “Trust me, I’m a servant of the Emperor?”’

    • @Zeppongola
      @Zeppongola Рік тому +27

      ​@@jamesliu8095 Yep, that's a quote from the book; just saying that since the books are framed as Cain's memoirs _as edited by Amberly,_ we don't know whether that exchange actually happened for example, or if she was fooled by his act until much later, and inserted that conversation into the memoirs herself to save face.
      (Note that I'm not suggesting that she _did_ make it up, just saying I enjoy how the nature of the books gives the reader a lot of wiggle room to make such interpretations with)

    • @jamesliu8095
      @jamesliu8095 Рік тому +21

      @@Zeppongola however, even when Cain says negative things about amberly, she keeps them in but annotated it with a snarky comment. Also given that it matches Cain's writing style whenever he talks about a love interest, we can infer that this is Cain's actual words and that amberly had him figured out from the beginning.

  • @dank_smirk2ndchannel200
    @dank_smirk2ndchannel200 Рік тому +438

    16:26 "He not only buys fully into Cain's legend but has never shown fear because he just assumes whatever is happening is part of Cain's master plan."
    Jurgen is Demiurge from Overlord confirmed.

    • @yaelz6043
      @yaelz6043 Рік тому +23

      Maybe cocaitas or Sebas with how literal he is.

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +56

      Jurgen never being proven wrong in a long life where they die of old age after more exploits than any other two people... Jurgen might just be correct

    • @TheJprox
      @TheJprox Рік тому +17

      SASUGA CAIN-SAMA

    • @jackbaxter2223
      @jackbaxter2223 Рік тому +28

      Cain's constant 'plausible excuses' to be somewhere where he doesn't think the enemy will really be only to discover their most secret plans happens so often that in the Jurgen-POV short story, Jurgen even thinks of it as Cain's signature move.

  • @midnightflare9879
    @midnightflare9879 Рік тому +55

    My favourite part is when Cain meets the booze chugging, card playing battle sister. She donates all her wins to charity.

    • @JoshMC2000
      @JoshMC2000 2 місяці тому +1

      Wasnt that the other teacher at the scollar who was his co worker

    • @callumduckworth7490
      @callumduckworth7490 2 місяці тому +1

      @@JoshMC2000 who was secretly boning the administratum guy

  • @betternamepending9543
    @betternamepending9543 9 місяців тому +6

    Cain: I pretend to care and be nice to my regiment only so they'll protect me and not shoot me in the back.
    Also Cain: Knows pretty much the entire regiment by name.
    Non sequitur, but Jurgen's melta is the mvp of the entire book series.

    • @ngominh259
      @ngominh259 9 місяців тому +1

      Oh man, the actinic flashes and the smell of ionising air... 😅 I've become too acquainted with Sandy Mitchell's phrasings.

  • @cookiesnake7216
    @cookiesnake7216 Рік тому +134

    As I believe the man himself said “if the only way to survive is to charge the tyranid with a chain sword, you charge”

  • @KaiserAfini
    @KaiserAfini Рік тому +81

    Cain works on the same logic as the all guardsman party. Quality training, common sense and a self of self preservation, all characteristics that are desperately rare in the highest tiers of the setting. He is great, a tier of hero that makes a difference and that the common soldier can aspire towards.

  • @Channel-23s
    @Channel-23s Рік тому +291

    Some funny moments when a salnesh Deamon turned into things that soldiers love or beautiful people Cain said to the Deamon “impersonation of a inquistor is a crime” to which the Deamon was caught off guard and shot and Veil was a bit happy narration wise about that part another would be Cain dodging a bullet by accident by looking at his female soldiers butt

    • @oogskskfn
      @oogskskfn Рік тому +57

      This comment alone will make me start reading Cain. Normally a plot armor main character that barely skates by alright feels kind of corny in the 40k universe but this sold it

    • @knukman
      @knukman Рік тому +33

      it was a witch, not a demon. and he realised because jurgen came close enough to disrupt the magic.

    • @stalinsoulz7872
      @stalinsoulz7872 Рік тому +21

      @@oogskskfn still funny tho cause Cain literally was like "damn that's Thicc and nice even the said female soldier likes Cain's oggling when she notices it and literally saved Cain from few inches to sudden unexpected death

    • @alexanderblack8852
      @alexanderblack8852 Рік тому +19

      @@stalinsoulz7872 Doubly so, when said female soldier... Is the commander of the very regiment Cain's attached to, Col. Regina Kasteen. That's right, he's been ogling a woman who is technically his superior.

    • @HiggtasticVT
      @HiggtasticVT Рік тому +15

      @Alexander Black not entirely correct. The commiserate are not part of the chain of command so she is not technically a superior officer. They function outside the CoC as enforcers of morale.
      The only real time they are given "rank" is in weird cases like the tanith first and only with ibram Gaunt.

  • @Xalerdane
    @Xalerdane Рік тому +28

    My opinion on how good of a person Cain truly is was settled during the book where he was traveling to a dam in preparation for dealing with Chaos Hitler. The dam in question had actually been built to replace a dam Cain himself had destroyed a century ago while facing an Ork *_WAAAGH_* on that same planet.
    While thinking about that, Cain sadly realized that he could no longer remember the name of a now-dead person he’d fought alongside during that war, and figured it was just another bit of proof that he was a bad person.

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 2 місяці тому

      Il not a hero... also kills Chaos Hitler.

  • @VandalAudi
    @VandalAudi Рік тому +11

    Thus the Prophet spake, "Frak this! For my faith is a shield proof against your blandishments!"

  • @DarkZedCannon
    @DarkZedCannon Рік тому +497

    Digression is the better part of Valor sums up why I love Cain so much.

    • @kimarous
      @kimarous Рік тому +34

      Discretion

    • @TheKlink
      @TheKlink Рік тому +2

      @@kimarous Secretions?

    • @Vherstinae
      @Vherstinae Рік тому +8

      I was going to correct you that it's "discretion," but then realized that most of Cain's retreats lead him into even bigger fights. So I guess it is indeed digression.

  • @RafaelMartinez-mg5lg
    @RafaelMartinez-mg5lg Рік тому +223

    Cain is the definition of "Fake it until you make it" by infinity.

  • @TheMythicalHaastsEagle
    @TheMythicalHaastsEagle Рік тому +204

    I truly hope that if Cavill does Cain they
    1/ get Cain's internal monologue sorted good
    2/ show Cain's normality against the setting of double grim-dark

    • @SWProductions100
      @SWProductions100 Рік тому +20

      Cain does seem to work better if you already have some familiarity with 40k, though it wouldn't be impossible for a Cavill Cain show to establish the tone to a new audience.
      That said, it would be kind of hilarious if everyone's introduction to inquisitors was Amberley.
      Newbie: "So are all the inquisitors like that snarky, pretty and sorta ruthless lady?"
      40k Veteran: "...have you ever heard of the war for Armageddon?"

    • @benjamintherogue2421
      @benjamintherogue2421 Рік тому +7

      I feel like a Caphias Cain show would have to come after a couple of brutal shows to set the tone and hava an audience that expects main character deaths. That would make his show all the more impactful and stressful for the audience not knowing if he's going to make it or not.

    • @0bzen22
      @0bzen22 Рік тому +6

      Cain can use Jürgen as his quiet interlocutor, if the 'memoire' format is too difficult to put on screen. Jürgen is kind of a weird one, but he could be used as a shoulder for Cain to cry on.
      Although, I'd love to see it represented as close to the books, with the added commentaries from Vail and Sulla, bringing into sharp contrast what Cain describes and what actually happened. The audiobooks are fantastic in that regard.
      Ciaphas Cain could definitely be a good introduction to 40K's grim-dark, where you can find comedy in the awfulness of it, kind of like in The Boys. Like the couple of times where Sororitas chapters unwittingly helped Chaos. Ouch.

    • @SWProductions100
      @SWProductions100 Рік тому +1

      @@0bzen22
      You could have Cain occasionally talking to the audience, with Vail and Sulla sometimes doing the same.

    • @TheMythicalHaastsEagle
      @TheMythicalHaastsEagle Рік тому +5

      @@0bzen22 Agreed, having Cain 'whinging' his inner thoughts to Jürgen would be a good work around, although hard to do without Cain being a whiny little bitch. Straight to camera 4th wall break could be an option, imagine having Cavill as Cain stop to complain his monologue to the camera, whilst all around him the shit is hitting the fan.
      As for the grimdark, 'show don't tell', this first mess hall fight could show the ultra-violent 40k, and Cain's ' humor' breaking it up in one fell swoop.
      When I re-read the 1st book, kept hearing the song 'F@#K this sh!t i'm out' as Cain's theme.

  • @janewin2597
    @janewin2597 Рік тому +50

    Theory: Caiphas Cain only thinks he is a bad person because he has impostor syndrome on account of not wanting to die. He has been told his whole life that to want anything less than to die for the Emperor makes you less than human, so being just a little bit afraid of dying makes him think he is an irredeemable monster. Hence he always assumes the worst of his own actions, even if he is actually acting selflessly and with compassion to others.

  • @Aliexster
    @Aliexster Рік тому +13

    One thing that can't be understated is how he whips a regiment into shape. In one of the books, Colonel Kasteen berates the local guard that they are killing twice as many tyranids while taking only a third of their casualties.
    They're Vallhallans, the epitome of Soviet 'Drown them with our dead' strategies.

  • @toyer7327
    @toyer7327 Рік тому +148

    Cain is 100% a Hero to look up to. I mean he dosent even take cerdit for his work but claims its all done by others. The books about him are my Fav of all the 40k, followed by Night Lords!

    • @JamesTobiasStewart
      @JamesTobiasStewart Рік тому +2

      I love that if you pay attention, you realise that one of the big reasons he hates almost all the in-universe narratives about him are that they conflate other people's achievements into his and they never so much as acknowledge Jurgen (Sulla served with Jurgen for decades and only ever obliquely mentions Cain's orderly bringing him something).
      So the supposedly PR hungry coward, gets angry because he's being given credit for things other people did and he doesn't think that's right. Plus just the fact that he values Jurgen enough to be offended on Jurgen's behalf, when Jurgen is supernaturally unlikeable.

  • @advancedcorianderbeing4673
    @advancedcorianderbeing4673 Рік тому +72

    Spoiler for anyone who is new to Caiphas series, and personally the funniest part for me:
    he is probably the only Commissar known (so far) to be still on active duty even after his death, just in case he wasn't truly dead, buried with full honors.
    Man can't even retire no matter how much he tries.

    • @templarw20
      @templarw20 11 місяців тому +2

      I mean, being a teacher in Cain's Last Stand kind of was his retirement. As shown by the other teachers, that is how badasses retire in the setting.

    • @everythingsalright1121
      @everythingsalright1121 3 місяці тому

      Waiting to see him return as a living saint

  • @inductivegrunt94
    @inductivegrunt94 Рік тому +229

    Cain is one of the best characters in 40k! He is just a regular normal guy stuck in a literal hell among hells. He is exactly how we would act if we were in 40k. We're not heroes, we're cowards. And Cain is well an truly who we as fans would be if we were dropped into 40k.

    • @xXKayn3Xx
      @xXKayn3Xx Рік тому +6

      Speak for yourself I'd be sly marbo

    • @inductivegrunt94
      @inductivegrunt94 Рік тому +33

      @@xXKayn3Xx Looks like we found the one that dies first in the regiment.

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +27

      He's a conventionally brave character in a setting where suicidal bravery is the norm.

    • @ZacharyPackard0976
      @ZacharyPackard0976 Рік тому +3

      @@inductivegrunt94 "Glory to the first man to die"

    • @gringe8025
      @gringe8025 Рік тому +1

      Same but i'd try to go for Mechanicus and then try to get in a Rogue Yrader retinue.

  • @DreadPyriteBob
    @DreadPyriteBob Рік тому +11

    One of my favorite moments was when Cain and Juergen are left alone on a space hulk filled with genestealers and orks.
    The atmosphere of him and Juergen utterly alone in the mass of ships was incredible

  • @rantymcrant-pants9536
    @rantymcrant-pants9536 Місяць тому +2

    Imagine being so ridiculously lucky/competent your mere presence gives Khaine his only win in ten thousand years

  • @BigBWolf90
    @BigBWolf90 Рік тому +132

    Ciaphas Cain...a character built on self depreciation
    Also the thing with the daemon of Slannesh, not only did he sleep with her but killed her with a badass line when she showed him his heart's desire "...it's a crime to impersonate an inquisitor."

    • @tomasdawe4423
      @tomasdawe4423 Рік тому +37

      No he slept (or almost slept with) the Slanneshi sorceress Emeli - who he shot with the line "sorry I prefer blondes" - the line "impersonating an Inquisitor is a capital offence" was directed to a different sorceress and brothel owner

    • @BigBWolf90
      @BigBWolf90 Рік тому +3

      @@tomasdawe4423 my bad. I got that information second hand

  • @quint3ssent1a
    @quint3ssent1a Рік тому +109

    Tbh it's more the case of Ciaphas just downplaying his own deeds, because he's just a nice guy like that. In some books there are interjections written by his tsundere gf inquisitor, and she points out that he's a smart man, a capable commander and a swordsman bordering on peak of human capabilities (like, he's no Astartes, but he can win almost any duel he reasonably can expect to win, with someone of his own size and strength.)

    • @ambrosiogiovanni6952
      @ambrosiogiovanni6952 Рік тому +36

      He won fair and square against an Ork Warboss, and held his own against two Khorne Berserkers, that are basically melee specialists Space Marines. So yeah, Cain is insanely talented as a swordsman.

    • @Joawlisdoingfine
      @Joawlisdoingfine Рік тому

      He went up against A HIVE TYRANT. Jesus astartes can't even last a few seconds against that thing...
      Man, imposter syndrome is horrible

    • @timothygrulke1308
      @timothygrulke1308 Рік тому +11

      There was a scene in a one book where he did Spar with a Reclaimers Space marine and held his own quite well

    • @ambrosiogiovanni6952
      @ambrosiogiovanni6952 Рік тому +18

      @@timothygrulke1308 So... He actually won that duel, and the Space Marine was a techmarine, with more than two arms... So yeah.
      The Marine was so impressed, that he decided to leave the dent Cain did in his armor, to remember him.

    • @nationalsocialism3504
      @nationalsocialism3504 Рік тому +1

      Cain if an Astartes would be up at Lucien levels of greatest swordsman of all time... he's at the level of greatest human Swordmasters of all time

  • @basketcase289
    @basketcase289 Рік тому +44

    Cain is the series of audiobooks that I listen to when I know its going to be a shit week at work just because they make me smile

  • @anglerfishchan4294
    @anglerfishchan4294 Рік тому +107

    I still like the theory that Amberly is really just a teenage girl in the Imperium and having read the Imperial propaganda about Cain, she has written all of these "memoirs" as self insert fanfiction

    • @roy6907
      @roy6907 11 місяців тому +25

      Eh, too much classified knowledge, even if it’s all made up stories, the mere mentioning of concepts that are purposely censored with great effort and success by the Imperium proves the theory wrong.
      Though it is canon that there are fanfics of Cain across the Imperium. Dude was the face the Imperial Guard of entire sectors of space and had countless books made about him and his campaigns and even a cult of, ironically enough, hardcore Emperor worshippers that annoyed him to no end.
      Also, being the total bro he was, he hated most of the holodramas and books written about him since they always left out Juergen.

  • @skullsquad900
    @skullsquad900 11 місяців тому +3

    15:38 first thing I found was a meme of Commisar Jonny Bravo hitting on the Slaanesh Princess. And that is how I will remember him from now on XD

  • @54032Zepol
    @54032Zepol Рік тому +267

    Did you know that one time Sly Marbo was facing off against five orks at one time? He threw a grenade at them, killed them all, then the grenade exploded.

    • @patches3555
      @patches3555 Рік тому +27

      The Chuck Norris of 40k

    • @TheDragonfriday
      @TheDragonfriday Рік тому +24

      It only exploded when sly marbo pick back up, use the explosion to cook his popcorn.

    • @yuvalgabay1023
      @yuvalgabay1023 Рік тому +2

      Ogryns in darktide

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 Рік тому

      Sly marbo sleeps with a Gun , and under The gun IS The pillow.

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 Рік тому +3

      Sly marbo recharge IS lassgun and battery packs bathing in The Sun, naked.

  • @chrisbird4913
    @chrisbird4913 Рік тому +38

    Cain has an excellent tactical mind and thinks and acts quickly. In many of the stories they act as a Sherlock and Watson to the Moriarty of whatever they are facing.

  • @reillycurran8508
    @reillycurran8508 Рік тому +138

    Part of me wonders if Cain keeps Jurgen around because having a blank around provides some assurance against getting his mind read by psykers, ergo protecting his reputation from his own constant internal panic.
    Also having never read the books I am now wondering if it's anything of a running gag for characters and groups normally written as getting their shit pushed in to actually turn out quite effective whenever Cain's around because Cain unwittingly has Huron Blackheart's ability to know when and where to best deploy the people he has to work with for their talents to have the most net positive effect. Like say having T'au allies provide cover fire and artillery support instead of just lettinh them end up in melee with something.

    • @jakman2179
      @jakman2179 Рік тому +15

      That is actually one of his many reasons.

    • @cabellones
      @cabellones Рік тому +25

      as far as I remember the books, Cain is a very good reader of Character and abuses of that to his advantage, but as he is out of the hierarchy of the Guard, his contributions to organization are limited.

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Рік тому +23

      He'd been working with Jurgen for a while before he finds out he's a blank.
      Despite looking like a nurgling that became entangled with a random collection of guards kit, Jurgen is probably as good as any soilder in the Guard.

    • @markowolianyk7696
      @markowolianyk7696 Рік тому +22

      As he was stuck way behind the enemy lines on an Ork infested world. He gathered the civilians and the local military people. Had logistics assigned to an incredible accountant, had convos with civvies thus learning key locations of stashes of weapons and food, and with his commissarial and heroic position elevated the military ranks of people who's competence levels were respective to their positions etc. Etc.
      And In another book when he was stuck in a tight spot had the ability to tell the people he was stuck with what to do and to actually WIN. HE'S AWESOME!!!
      I have All of his books with me and reading them is as fun as the first time it did. Really nice read

    • @blindlobster
      @blindlobster Рік тому +19

      Cain originally had Jurgan (figurately) forced upon him by Cain's superior as a punishment masked as an award. (Cain was given an aide but he didn't get to choose who, his superior did, and the superior deliberately chose the least pleasant soldier to be around.) At first, Cain would have preferred a servant/employee who didn't stink but Cain quickly learned that Jurgan was both extremely loyal to him and made his life a lot easier. (Cain had employed Jurgan for a long time before he knew about Jurgan's blankness.)
      Jurgan did Cain's paperwork for him (Cain couldn't be bothered with paperwork and eventually that was a lot of paperwork), privately stole for Cain (Cain would say he wanted something, and Jurgan would mysteriously find a copy) no questions asked from either person and as Cain's career progressed, Jurgan could keep people who wanted to speak to Cain, away from him. Also Jurgan did tasks when necessary such as carrying heavy bags.
      So Jurgan was a bodyguard, valet and secretary... Also although on paper Jurgan was no longer a "soldier/guardsman," because he followed Cain into wars, there was little difference.
      Cain's life goal is to live as easy and safe life as possible, and Jurgan does a lot to help Cain maintain this.
      (If you are wondering why Cain is in the army when he wants a safe life, it is because he has never had a choice about his career. Also if Cain tried to "retire," he would be killed by his own side. A large aspect of his job (at first, at least), is to "violently remove" employees of the Imperial Guard who want to leave. Cain does what he can to avoid doing this.)

  • @Nodjia
    @Nodjia Рік тому +25

    My absolute favorite aspect of the Ciaphus Cain series is how all the artwork depicts him as a stoic, heroic boltpistol wielding statue of a man with a confident grin. I love his own thoughts about this depiction, how he hated that people kept trying to replace his beloved laspistol, which he admitted lacked firepower but would never give up because he was used to the weight and feel of the thing. The chainsword is the only part of the depiction which reflected reality, as even Amberley comments that he was strangely exceptional at close combat if for no other reason than he was so desperate to avoid being brutally murdered in melee.
    I love his character because, through Amberley's notes, we see that despite his internal feelings of cowardice and his attempts to coast through his duties, he actually performed his role as a commissar in a manner which few rarely achieve. He inspired loyalty, faith, and even love from those he served with. He provided key tactical insight and strategic foresight to those in command, and he most importantly didn't get his people killed due to overzealous fanaticism which is so common among those in his position.
    40k stories are full of characters whose zeal outmatches their brains, and it's nice to see an inversion of the trope.

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +3

      That is part a oddity.
      He is so good at close combat, because he not want to die. Because he trains so hard and regularly in close combat. Theirs books he did combat drills for a month straight, as had nothing but time to kill.
      With a chainswoed, aka the most challenging to finesse weapon theirnis for a human.

  • @kinman3051
    @kinman3051 17 днів тому +1

    Cain being an actual good guy is actually is what made him my very favorite person in 40k. Probably ever

  • @CocoHutzpah
    @CocoHutzpah Рік тому +92

    I like to imagine that James Bond has the same internal monologue as Ciaphas Cain and is only a master spy because everyone expects him to be and he fancies living.
    Also, I have not been able to find a copy of Savior of the Imperium and it's really burning me up that a 5 year old omnibus is so hard to find.

    • @ArariaKAgelessTraveller
      @ArariaKAgelessTraveller Рік тому

      Become a rogue trader and go priate it

    • @Smeghead76
      @Smeghead76 3 місяці тому

      It's available as an ebook collection on the Black Library website.

  • @cheeseninja1115
    @cheeseninja1115 Рік тому +73

    I like to think that tzeentch is behind Cains impossible luck, as the god of fate he *has* to have a hand in the mans ungodly ability to have everything somehow work out for him

    • @marsar1775
      @marsar1775 Рік тому +15

      i 100% believe this. and its funny too, which is possibly the reason tzeentch is doing it in the first place

    • @yaelz6043
      @yaelz6043 Рік тому +6

      Could be the emperor.

    • @domchappell4775
      @domchappell4775 Рік тому +8

      Tzeentch just doing it to piss off Slaanesh

    • @rakisuzuki-burke4148
      @rakisuzuki-burke4148 Рік тому +11

      @@yaelz6043 Tzeenctch and the Emperor agree on one thing, and that is Ciaphas Cain should keep living.

  • @fva1835
    @fva1835 Рік тому +118

    An Imperial officer is always require to carry a blank with you as an assistant to up the survival rate by 5%.
    The series also teach me how to differentiate between a normal space marine (Aquila Greeting) and a CogBoys Errand Marine (Cog Greeting)

  • @notani3533
    @notani3533 Рік тому +34

    Despite he considers himself a coward because of his self-preservation, there is one time that he took a somewhat heroic way to survive. The story 'The Traitor Ends' shows that rather than get away as far as possible from the planet that might be turned into a chaos portal, he decided to lead a strike team to end the ritual once and for all. His reasoning is that running away from the planet will get him killed by the firing squad or daemon coming into real space, so shutting it down is the best way for him to survive a bit longer.
    It's also funny that Cain often comments about Jurgen's terrible odour which is how he knows when Jurgen is present or not, but since Jurgen is a blank people usually don't notice him or are just filled with dread when he's present. It's a bit weird that Cain can take notice of Jurgen's presence all the time while others would always surprised when Jurgen caught their attention.

    • @yaelz6043
      @yaelz6043 Рік тому +4

      Maybe Cain is has repressed psychic potential? Kinda like Sevetar.

    • @MyH3ntaiGirl
      @MyH3ntaiGirl Рік тому +2

      ​@@yaelz6043nope
      There are many time that he fail to detect Jurgen cause something mess with his smelling

  • @leothewhiteranger
    @leothewhiteranger Місяць тому +2

    I'd like to note, Ciaphas Cain's achievements, both the lucky ones and his actual skill, have earned him a level of prestiege and respect that SPACE MARINES give him respect, something they are not required to do for anyone, let alone a Commisar. The Reclaimers chapter show him respect even Lord Generals don't always get. Hell, they respect JURGEN. The Reclaimers even let Cain use their training Chapel, something he compares to a senior priest opening a sepulchar and offering him a saint's bones, something Amberly even admits is barely exageratted.

  • @jbark678
    @jbark678 Рік тому +56

    Having watched Blackadder before finding out about 40k, seeing this character was like a lightbulb going off in my head.

    • @razorburn645
      @razorburn645 11 місяців тому

      That's how I see it too. Blackadder in space!

    • @JoshMC2000
      @JoshMC2000 2 місяці тому

      I read it after being told it was black adder in 40k

  • @Liz-sp9lb
    @Liz-sp9lb Рік тому +55

    As a fella who recently got hired by a job I am in no way qualified for by more or less an accident, I relate to the funny commissar

    • @alexh3974
      @alexh3974 Рік тому +5

      Embody his confidence, don,t show your fear and keep on going till you make it!

    • @agentc7020
      @agentc7020 Рік тому +1

      Feel like doing an update?

    • @Liz-sp9lb
      @Liz-sp9lb Рік тому

      @@agentc7020 I got a raise recently, and my work crush thinks I’m cool

  • @double1777
    @double1777 Рік тому +18

    Cain: I like running away
    Night Lords: …I like this one.

  • @ethanmcrae1665
    @ethanmcrae1665 10 місяців тому +4

    Cain is skilled enough that a space marine was willing to not only let Cain use the Astartes training facilities but also spend time training him.

  • @mikaelm5367
    @mikaelm5367 2 місяці тому +3

    Huh, the Sunless Sea Soundtrack
    An unexpected and cool accompaniement to my second favourite Warhammer character.

  • @Ny-kelCameron
    @Ny-kelCameron Рік тому +36

    Yes, a newly found favorite character of mine in the 40k universe.
    Don't know why it took me so long to start reading the Ciaphas Cain books....I've enjoyed each and every one so far.
    Moreover, Cain has introduced me to the Imperial Guard, a force that I have truly underestimated.
    But, let's all be honest to the true hero of these tales......my boy Jurgen!!

  • @A.DEN0
    @A.DEN0 Рік тому +66

    This moment when a single character has more personality in his left testicles than Space Marines have in their entire faction

    • @RetroRadianceLight
      @RetroRadianceLight Рік тому

      Fuck the ultramarines

    • @A.DEN0
      @A.DEN0 Рік тому

      @@RetroRadianceLight fuck all space marines

    • @HeIsAnAli
      @HeIsAnAli 29 днів тому

      >left testicles, plural.
      Gappy, that you?

  • @GreyShot254
    @GreyShot254 Рік тому +25

    "God Emperor please stop giving me your toughest battles"

  • @Reddotzebra
    @Reddotzebra Рік тому +14

    To be honest, I've always assumed that the reason Jurgen is so fanatically devoted to Cain is that he's the only person that actually manages to push past his blank aura on willpower and intestinal fortitude alone to treat him at least somewhat like a normal person. He probably sees him as his BFF by default.
    Also as previously mentioned, most people consider Jurgen to be as stupid as he is unimaginative, but this couldn't be further from the truth, his mind is a lot sharper than most imperial guardsmen, as is shown when he outwits the smugglers.