Autism & trying to understand Social Media
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- Опубліковано 24 тра 2023
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Social media has caused so many meltdowns for me. I try to stay away from most of it now that I've discovered my autism. I used to feel obligated to be on social media regularly because I was trying to "keep up" with everything that was expected of me in society. Now, I choose not to because it can send me into a meltdown or shutdown faster than anything else and with no benefit to anyone.
Not using social media won’t make you behind on trends btw. If it’s a really popular popular topic you will hear it IRL. Your friends hopefully will understand and simply show you memes from time to time and it makes good conversation. There’s a lot of information I could do without- Such as celebrity drama or tik tok trends.
Same. I’m a professional musician and I feel so trapped. I don’t understand it, enjoy it, and I feel like I don’t understand how to analyze the feedback and improve. It’s just discouraging and draining.
Congrats you are so brave!!!!! I feel the same with social media
So I’m not on the spectrum (as far as I know) but I definitely don’t “get it” when it comes to social media. It feels like everyone else has figured out something I haven’t. I enjoy making UA-cam videos, but there’s a lot of pressure to always be “engaging” with other peoples’ posts and comments (same with IG) if you want to “grow a community” but it feels SO forced most of the time and quickly gets overwhelming
There's always a layer of loneliness as I have trouble making friendships and relating to most. Then, there's wanting to create art that's meaningful but also feeling like it's not reaching expectations either in terms of trendiness or following big picture composition rules and such.
I am technically skilled but can't force myself to do something if my mind is not willing, especially completing artworks, which sucks big time.
A similar thing happens when studying courses I found boring, it felt like pulling teeth.
it’s been over a year since i got diagnosed but i still haven’t really digested it yet. i’m usually very tired of my algorithm being filled with neurodivergent content. which is weird. but it’s bcs i’m still in denial somehow. always being reminded that i’m not like everybody else. but your videos are different for me. i feel comfortable and i relate in a way that doesn’t make me feel weird or dumb. thank you for speaking up about issues in ways that brings up different perspectives instead of the typical stereotypes 🥰🥰
I stopped using social media besides UA-cam and my mental health has drastically improved. I really like your content because I tend to look for content that I can listen to while I’m doing things and not have to hold my phone the whole time. I like the relaxing background sounds and it feels like I’m hanging out with a like minded friend and chatting about things that I thought only mattered to me. So thanks.
When growing up with social media the hardest part for me was the constant demand for interaction on social media platforms.
Interacting with others is very demanding on my energy level so when i come home i usually need to recharge so receiving messages from the people i am friends with who wanted to chat through social media was really difficult for me to handle as on one hand i didn't want to make them feel like i didn't have any interest in them but on the other hand i didn't want to exhaust myself further.
Eventually i was able to put my foot down and explain to them that i respond to their messages whenever i have the energy and time to do so and that its not me having no interest or avoiding them.
This caused some friendships to break but overall i do think its better this way for myself to not continuously socially exhaust myself.
As a Gen-Xer, I shudder to think what my teenage life would have been like if social media existed at the time. I spent much of that time trying to be someone I wasn't because being myself made me subject to scorn, ridicule, and ultimately rejection.
As for when I watch your videos, it's mainly after the sun goes down.
About a year ago, I deleted all my social media besides Discord and UA-cam (and LinkedIn but I only use it for job search and some kind of professional presence). I decided that none of it was serving me and it wasted a lot of my time. Additionally, I would compare my life to others and get frequently ghosted by people who would still come on social media and like my post or react to a story. Everything felt so fake and transactional, and no one truly cared - so I decided not to care either and remove myself from those spaces. None of those people contacted me about my deleted accounts ever.
A year later I can say that I am over my bitterness with social media but I still refuse to download it for the simple fact that it filters out people who actually don’t want to be involved with me. People have to try harder to keep a connection with someone who doesn’t have social media and it feels more authentic. Who actually wants to stay my friend? Who continuously reaches out to hang and doesn’t forget about me? Those are the true friends. Not the ones who like my posts and reply to stories as the only form of communication (yet somehow see you as a friend and that’s baffling). So at this point I believe I will be social media-less forever (except UA-cam/discord)
Also, I watch your videos during work or doing chores lol. I think I’m looking to just hear new perspectives on subjects when I watch you, but also I’m just very picky and only regularly watch three UA-camrs and your one of them.
Forgot to mention, I am Gen Z, aka.zoomer… to add some perspective. Lol. I grew up basically online.
I watch your videos during the late afternoon or early evening. I prefer to watch you while I craft, to keep my mind from wandering to negative topics, and to help me build my understanding of my autism.
I’m also autistic/adhd and I’ve noticed in the last few months that Twitter makes me feel really bad lol. Sometimes it’s fun but then there’s just so much doom and gloom and reactionary content so I’ve tried going on Duolingo to practice my French when I have the urge to scroll
Your content is such a breath of fresh air! I've been binging as a recently identified autistic person. I actually talked about your channel today in therapy after being asked about what tools I had to help me learn about myself. Your voice, communication style and filming setup are so relaxing and your deep insights and compassionate approach are so needed. I hope you start a patreon sometime soon because I'd love to give you something small in return for the huge help you've been to me!
Definitely thinking about starting a Patreon! But not sure when yet since it’s a whole set of work load I need to integrate. If you ever feel like donating to help out you can always do that through the “heart thanks button” under my videos!
@@thethoughtspot222 thanks for letting me know :)
your tear drop earrings, the bow, the ruffles!!!!!
I feel like it’s also, with Instagram, a means to observe people’s behavior and copy that. I’m always looking at influencers that I find really cool and look at all their pictures of their style and their friends and what they say and stuff.
I'm watching at 1pm pst. I'm a deeply sensitive to the point that it affects everything in my life. Its quite awful. I never understood why folks were pushing "deep empath" online when in actulaity its not a virtue, its a privilege and you spend a lot of time having to protect yourself.
I shut down all my social media a year ago besides fb and UA-cam but the last 2weeks I've been off fb completely. And since then the few friends who are my true friends now just contact me via text and its so much better.
What I dislike the most wasn't even the facade but the normalization of cruelty toward others. It's everywhere anyways and I don't want to spend my free time looking at people tear each other down or unable to see the humanity in a messed up situation or whatever it might be that day.
I did get rid of folks who harbor different isms and phobias to people just existing as they are and those who think (and told me) I'm too negative because I talk about my family's chronically ill and disabled life honestly.
It sucks that when a chronically ill person talks honestly about their struggles we are perceived as negative and even toxic! So then I feel like my life experience with disability is worth less than the experience and life story of a person who was lucky to be born able bodied..😢 I’m not constantly burdening people with my suffering, but just mentioning it briefly but honestly (in that neutral honest way many other autistic people also talk) makes people upset. Toxic positivity and ableism is one of the worst things in society and also on social media platforms for sure!
"Who cares?" is the mindset I've adopted in regards to social media the last couple of years too. Genuinely what do I care what these acquaintances are up to or what they think of what I'm doing. The experiences I do want to share I just share directly with the people I care about. I haven't posted anything in over a year. The most I do is post clips of concerts I really liked. I use Instagram mainly to follow my favorite artists and that's it. I don't see the point in sharing my opinion with people who's opinions mean nothing to me(anymore). If I'm confident and secure in what I believe in, I gain nothing from sharing it with a void of people I don't know on a personal level. I delete 90% of my comments halfway through writing them because genuinely I gain nothing from it. I'd *much* rather just journal about it. I'm hesitant to even post this one for that reason, but only am because it's relevant to the topic and because you asked us to. Otherwise I'd just digest the topic, see how I feel about it, and move on.
I'm "closet autistic" still (not a lot of people who understand the nuances in my town.) So I mostly listen to your videos in the car, as I drive for aliving. And, I have to say, they've gone a long way in making me feel less like an outsider since I don't have the opportunity to share it in my day-to-day life.
I'm Gen X and learned about being on the spectrum only recently. I went from trying all the new and latest social media platforms to pretty much just UA-cam and Instagram. I learn a lot from people like you on UA-cam, and I also enjoy ASMR and K-pop content. I mostly follow K-pop content and cat-centric videos on Instagram, and I am so much happier with that. I have made a couple casual friends on Instagram - the occasional friendly comment on each other's posts, and that's it - which is perfect. I completely relate to the questions about "do I really want to share this?" and "do people really care?" and "do I want them to care?" and the answer being "no" and me being really comfortable with that. Facebook is a drama nursery, so I avoid that almost completely now. Editing to add: I telework, so I tend to check in late morning, early afternoon, or whenever I have time that I need to think through something. Learning about myself - how and why I think the way I do and how to manage it as I manage my work day and social life [such as it is!] are really useful things I have gleaned so far from your channel, and I am truly appreciative!
Oh my god. I’m so glad you posted this. I’m actually in the middle of what I call a “perception anxiety attack” which typically consists of deep existentialism about my pretty surface level beauty channel (makeup is my special interest) my red flags are wanting to delete my channel, delete my videos, comb through simple mistakes that nobody would notice and start over…like clockwork every 6-8 months I feel this intense anxiety rise up about whoever has already seen or watched my content.
I think for me, perceiving myself has always been confusing and weird. How OTHERS perceive me was often a great source of misunderstanding pain and fear. Basically early in childhood I learned that my way of presenting myself confused people for some reason. Social media was my way to really control what others thought of me.
Beauty has been my big special interest since I was 7-8 years old and it’s tough because of all the other….stuff attached to makeup. Going back to UA-cam, it makes me really sad what happened with the UA-cam community with all the beauty “drama” even people who aren’t UA-camrs in my life know about it.
It really upset me back then, but I was guilty of watching a lot of “tea” channels. I wish I could go back and reverse that because their narratives have stuck in my head as if they’re a second part of me. I’m terrified of making mistakes already, let alone in what feels like a very controversial community. I never want to hurt anyone, even accidentally. What brands do I support? What if I change my mind? It feels like so much responsibility.
It sucks that there was so much controversy (oftentimes it very warranted though, especially any racism, homophobia, transphobia. Those deserve people deserve to be held accountable). But sadly it also brought on extra nitpicking because everyone realized it brought in views or I guess was fun. Hell, there is an entire Reddit group dedicated to gossiping about even the smallest of beauty UA-camr. I’m terrified I’ll end up on there, especially because I have always deleted any video that brings up the fact that I am autistic. Once a live viewer told me they saw my name mentioned under small beauty UA-camrs and I wanted to burst into tears.
Short version, I make things into way bigger of a deal than they are because I realize….I’m confused. A lot of this makes little sense to me.
What brings me back down is kinda what you said, realizing that for the most part nobody cares and everyone is a content creator. My channel is another in the sea of millions. And my therapist helps me recognize that perceptions from other people is not really my business.
I hope now that I am watching videos like this that I can better understand who I am, and maybe not be so scared of others finding out and using it against me. Your videos make me feel like I have a friend who gets it.
I realized I’m autistic late in life as well (23) and grew up very close to social media. It makes it all very meta (no pun intended)
I'm happy I found this video. I get overwhelmed and so anxious whenever I use social media and it seems like no one around me understands. I'm so ready to let it all go.
I recently discovered your channel and I usually find myself watching your videos when I feel most lonely, when I unintentionally isolate myself from everyone in the world. Sometimes people through a screen are about as much social interaction as I can handle for the day. Your voice is soothing and your videos are very enjoyable visually, so it’s a great experience overall and one that I find myself coming back to often :)
I know this isn’t the point of this video, but your aesthetic is so cute today. Hair, makeup, background, outfit, jewelry. Everything is so fresh, understated and cute.
This describes me to a "T". I have had all of these same reactions and have basically avoided social media (in particular FB, IG, and TicTok) for the various reasons you mentioned. It feels pretty validating that someone else sees it the same way that I do. As an autistic mom of autistic kids whose special interest is creating outfits and cosplay for them, the social media aspect is debilitating for me. I frequently have tons of content all edited and ready to go, but struggle to figure out how to share it with the world... I tend to ctl.c + ctl.v what I see others do and not have the same experiences as others and it doesn't feel genuine (the interactions on those platforms) to even be there which really dampens my already meager socializing (real life and otherwise). I tend to take lots of pictures of my family and myself and all the things we do together but it almost feels plastic if I post about it on SM so I never do.
I was searching specifically for this topic on here to see if any other autistic people dealt with this and I'm comforted to know I'm not alone in this!
Love this conversation. This really strikes a chord with me, it’s exactly how I feel about social media. Instagram completely overwhelms me, and I experience a huge pressure to follow, respond to, and help to promote everyone who tags me or adds me to their story, but then I would literally be on my phone all day. There’s a whole unspoken etiquette that I know I don’t have the capacity to be a part of, and honestly I just can’t bring myself to care enough to keep posting and interacting. It’s so refreshing to hear your perspective, thank you for sharing. I feel empowered to just accept that maybe it’s not for me and that’s ok. I’ll probably mostly stick to UA-cam too.
I have slowly fazed social media (other then UA-cam) out of my life, and it's amazing how fine that's been. I was so torn about deleting Instagram, but it's been months now and my brain is calmer for it. So much of what you said in this video resonated in ways I hadn't been able to put into words! I no longer care about people knowing how my life is going. I'm just living it.
I was a teenager in the 80’s. If there had been social media then I don’t think I would have even survived. There is no way I could have dealt with the kind of thing that goes on and the things you describe. I started having problems when things went from analogue to digital! I still can’t get with social media now, I’ve tried but it still seems an odd thing to do, I agree with you that I have enough to deal with as it is. The only thing I do like that is UA-cam comments. And I don’t have internet enabled on my phone.
social media can be very draining and is one thing i really dislike about the internet
I watch your content while I get ready in the mornings as part of a ritual of preparing myself to go out into the world. Your content brings me comfort in knowing that I’m not the only person who feels like this and that if I go out in the world and am not received very well, then that’s okay. Because I’m not the only person who feels like an alien amongst the masses.
I also watch your content in the evenings to help me unpack the days’s interactions and learn how to better comfort myself in difficult situations as well as being true to myself at the same time. Your content helps me to remember that we’re all different and that’s okay. And that being kind above all else is the most important thing. - Not just to society, but to yourself as well. Keep kicking ass sis xx
I like to watch this type of content because it helps me to understand how I do my things compared to other people on the spectrum
Social Media feel like such a double edged sword to me. It's such a great tool to prepare myself for real life socialising with people I'm about to meet, takes the social anxiety down a notch a bit. Like a digital continuation of what I used to do as a kid, which was basically observing someone for a month before reaching out and seeing if they'd like to be friends with me.
That said, the other side of the coin is, for me personally, the pure overwhelm! Sometimes it's being overwhelmed by the amount of media to be consumed (it almost comes with this sense of duty - like, these are friends I like therefore I should pay attention to what they are doing and saying?) but more often a sense of "oh is this what the society wants now? But... I don't have time for that!".
What helps a bit is telling myself that UA-cam is my platform of choice, and it being relatively slow compared to others is comforting.
Oh god, I feel this so much. Having an online persona messed me up, I thought I had to act a role online, to be seen a certain way. Then once ppl get to know me personally, I'm suddenly really shy and not extravagant as my persona portays. I realized that's part of my masking and now I'm barely unmasking and being myself more upfront. Trying to use social media less and if I wanna say something online, I want it to be authentic and truthful.
I haven’t been able to articulate my feelings about social media at all (I don’t post on any socials I only really post on Reddit where I’m anonymous) and you completely nailed my feelings. The facade of it all just doesn’t seem like something I can participate in and I would rather people judge me based on who I am in person rather than a false persona I craft online to impress people I don’t even like.
I have been fostering and formulating my relationship with social media since I began my social media presence since Vampire Freaks lmao It has been a long and very confusing journey but I'm finally in this personal place where I can say: "I'm proud of myself and I'm happy with who I am" and that mentality has shown through my social media in numbers of ways. People sometimes tell me that I am "too happy" or that I'm "fake" because all I post about is my linguistical achievements, photos of flowers and sunsets/sunrises, how much I love my friends and family and how happy I am that they love me too but the thing is...that's my life lol Those things are but a fraction of what makes me happy and I want to share what makes me happy with other so that maybe, that can make them happy, too. I'm not PRETENDING to be happy. I AM happy and when I'm not happy then I say that lol I don't make any attempt to hide my mental health struggles or struggles with my day to day that I have sometimes due to my ADHD and autism.
I'm the same online as I am offline and I have ALWAYS been that way because my parents taught me that being myself was always more important than being liked. That there was someone out there for everyone and if people didn't like me for me, then they we not FOR me. So what people see online is what they get in person. I don't believe in what we call in my family "two-faced tom foolin'". It was never taught to me growing up to hide my feelings or hide my thoughts and yes, that has had drawbacks but it did wonders for helping me to develop an honest and healthy relationship with others both online and offline. When I don't like something, I say I don't like it and when I love something, I won't shut up about it lmao That's just how I operate and my closest friends have always said that they appreciate that with me.
I also went to art school but I guess I lucked out meeting people who were like me and were the same online as they were offline lol People who were not afraid to engage with me through a screen and in person. People that wanted me because they loved and appreciated me and I, them. But anyways, this is already a novel lmao I could go on about my philisophical take on social media and why it is both bessing and curse xaxaxa
Thank you for talking about social media and artists. I feel like you hit a lot of spots I have but couldn’t find anyone else talking about. I’m an artist and have a very hard time engaging on Instagram, specifically, because I feel fake but I feel like everyone else is too. And it’s really odd (?) when people you know don’t follow you and/or engage with you because your numbers aren’t the same. I’ve had it happen to me and I’ve known other people it’s happened to where friends just ignore you because you’re not “popular” enough.
It adds another layer of difficulty on top of just trying to interact authentically and grow that I end up not understanding. And then there’s the problem of thinking mutuals might want to be friends but what they’re actually looking for are networking opportunities… 🥴
I watch your videos to feel less alone. I am looking for something I can relate to and somehow understand myself better or just make sense of why I do things. I like to think deeply and I love your honesty. I also really love the way you verbalize things and your voice in general. I usually watch your videos mid day (like 12 noon to 3 pm).
I feel everything you've explained that you feel with social media. All the same struggles. Not knowing how to make it work for me at all. I honestly just never really bother with getting on them anymore. Just fill up my time with my routines & special interests.
I just discovered your channel through UA-cam suggestions. I'm also a millenial late diagnosed autistic person. I'm about to start content creation, as a language learner (I'm french learning japanese). So far, I've only been a content consummer, purely consummer. I've followed people for decades without interacting with them, I'm very intentionnal on who I follow or not. Because of this new project I'm trying to get out of my confort zone and post more comments. (I've posted 3 last month)
Trying to go on the other side is intimidating. But because I have not grown up with social media and because i haven't tried to make content so far, I like to believe that my relationship with social media is going to be somewhat healthy. My niche is small, so small, I have very low expectations. I'm not trying to a beauty influencer for example. And because I have a clear vision of what I want/need/will/won't/can('t) I find it helps a lot.
Discovering your channel was a good thing. I've subscribed :)
I always know that your videos will uncover parts of myself. They’re always highly relatable, so I watch them when I know I am ready to look in the mirror. That means I skip them early in the morning, or too late at night, because my brain can’t process them properly at those times. But when I do watch, I want to absorb the whole message. I even rewind small sections and listen two or three times, to receive the message fully
I tried to maintain a Facebook page for awhile, but something about it's design only leads me to become even more lonely. I am now absolutely free from social media (except YT, lol) and i feel more secure in my self awareness and sense of self in general.
My intention coming to your videos is to relate to someone deeply. The most validating videos I’ve seen about high masking late diagnosed autistic women is their lived experience. When I first began learning about it the videos on TikTok (I know we’ve all seen them so over saturated) are they “signs you may be autistic” and then I started doing deep dives on UA-cam and TikTok where I found people that explain my experience so well and validates it. If you journal to develop your new thoughts or reflecting on past experiences I think we would all love to hear it. Vulnerability I think is so powerful to those with an open mind searching for answers. You always make me feel not alone and I love your authenticity ❤ I like how I think now you seem way more sure of yourself and you give yourself grace. The video you talked about the girls you worked at Starbucks with not understanding why they were ostracizing you is sooo relatable. I would leave those interactions spiraling in shame. Now that I have an answer to my confusing life, the stories are what help rebuild my value in this world. I think we live with a 6th sense that is so enjoyable and filled with fascination at every corner. I always thought I needed to “fix what was wrong with me” because in seemingly mundane moments, I could tell that others (neurotypicals) had a missing spark in their eye. I would almost immediately tell that this person lives in a much simpler world than me. I would be jealous by the peace and security they carried. Almost like they could see the world in the way it’s designed for us to live and it all made perfect sense to them. I’m undiagnosed but have listen to unmasking autism and watched probably 50 hours of content on it and it’s crazy that I found the thing to make my life make sense.
My first experience with proper social media was with MySpace. I figured it would be a way for people in my life to know I wasn’t some freak like they treated me, but obviously we know now how futile that assumption was lol. Beyond UA-cam I pretty much stayed clear of social media. I had a FB account that I barely used and that was about it. I’ve only really recently really started to use social media with Twitter (mostly due to the situation in UKR). So I never interact with anyone I know IRL. I basically use my platform to see breaking news events and to irritate bad people.
Your content make mes feel heard and seen. You pretty much divulge the autistic and ADHD experience with so much compassion and accuracy. I am new to your channel and I look forward to engaging in conversation about the part of myself that has been very mysterious to me up until this point of my life. I am neurodivergent, lgbtqia+, black, and a pround nonbinary demi girl! Thx!
I don’t know how you do it… I was literally just talking about this with my partner not too long ago because I rediscovered my Xanga (am I aging myself..?). When I found my old Xanga, I realized that I did not use social media like everyone else. I used it with the intention to connect with people, especially since I struggled with that irl. I would post things that were represented who I was, what I enjoyed, how I saw the world, and it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized that’s not how most people use it. I never posted things that I wanted others to see, I posted things that made me ME, and other people could see it if they wanted. A couple things come to mine when I think about this:
1) those MySpace “train” things that the scene kids would post as a bulletin. They would add themselves to this GIANT list of other scene kids, and for some reason, it was a huge deal to be part of certain groups. Idk, it was weird. I didn’t understand it. Now I know it was just another way to be “popular.”
2) being part of a live chat weirds me tf out. I’ve felt this way for a while. Say you and 100 other people are watching someone do a livestream. It is mostly just people trying to be noticed by their senpai. I would attempt to start conversations with, who I thought were, like-minded people, but nobody was talking to each other. They were just typing into the abyss and hoping the person live-streaming would notice. I get the appeal, but that’s putting so many limits on yourself, morphing them into who they think this “””famous””” person would approve of. It’s dystopian.
I deleted my Facebook in 2015 or so. I don’t have a Twitter, Instagram, tik tok, etc. I’ve only recently started commenting on UA-cam, but I have to take long breaks because I despise being noticed. Too many interactions exhaust me…
I don’t think I’m better than anyone for being this way (I say in fear that I will be accused of this because cptsd). In fact, it makes me feel very alone. I just think when someone’s only concern is to be noticed because of status, or what have you, it will inevitably lead to inauthenticity. Being inauthentic dims one’s aura, and that’s not good for your soul.
Long-winded, and I lost my train of thought…
Thanks for being an authentic human in a sea of simulacra! 💛
Irene! Thank you for this video. I always feel so much better about not being on social media when I hear that the people who can relate to my experience just simply don’t-and they don’t feel the need to apologize! Fuck yeah 🙌🏼 Because I love to write, I have a Substack. Because I love self-development combined with almost every other activity, I listen to Podcasts. Because I love to connect, I use email. Because I love video/UA-cam (and intentionally curating my content consumption) and hate ads, I pay for Premium.
I don’t like Instagram or anything else, and so I don’t give any fucks. From a business perspective, I think putting heart-centered, high quality work out into the world will bring the RIGHT opportunities & experiences back your way. Setting BOUNDARIES whether personal or “professional” is crucial. Then you can focus on ENJOYING the work that you create, the services you offer, and the connections you foster. Sending so much LOVE ♥️ -Meryn
P.S. I listen to/watch your videos during the early afternoon or early evening!
I watch your videos because it helps me understand my partner who is diagnosed with autism and ADHD from a young age. It also helps me understand my own neurodivergence and subjective view of the world. I usually listen to your videos when I’m commuting on the subway. I really appreciate how effective you are at communicating your experience.
Hi, I watched your videos anytime I feel like my 'cup is full' and I'm ready to learn about myself. I got diagnosed for over two months now.. but it wasn't until recently I have fully accepted it - I was scared idk why. But you have a very calming vibe so I watch one of your video, journal afterwards, proceed with exercises before watching another. Baby steps O_O;;
What a beautifully mindful approach 🌸 this inspired me to pull my journal out and write about what I’m finding about myself as I study more about autism. I haven’t decided on whether to try for a formal diagnosis yet. I’m happy you’ve accepted your diagnosis - I’m wishing you many happy moments of self- discovery and self-love!
I love to watch/listen to your videos while I’m at work to pass the time and gain more insight about myself & experiences away from anyone that actually knows me at home etc, it gives me more time to process and really pay attention to your words. I work at a plant nursery so it’s nice to just listen while I water or maintain the plants!
I have given lot of thought to this subject during years. I definitely believe now that we should use social media to create awareness, to show there are other ways to live, to love, to think. Many people feel relief when they see they're not alone, other get inspired to do what they weren't sure was ok, because the main stream media don't show it they way. We can be inspiration for many people out there ❤
Social Media (SM) lately had been used as a measuring stick for my overall health as I had to reckon with some struggles and collapses a few months back, and used especially for ND and Mental Health and Health content. Also a jukebox as I'm realizing I might have trouble *not* listening to anything to get anything done. I've also come to accept that it's also become a juggernaut in my free time, as much I desire to have more time in less screen involved hobbies like oil painting and journaling. I want to have it more as a jukebox and a means of staying in touch with people I've met in real life as online communities can be quite insular, too.
On the other hand, I use this channel for downloads (so many downloads...), explore myself, and getting to know this person through her content (people observation is very fascinating work). I thought I had passed the phase of "self-help", but for now, this place and others is where my "anime" would be and I've accepted I'll be riding the waves for now.
I found you recently because I've been a content creator on and off but I really struggle with selective mutism when the camera comes out. Also late--diagnosed AuDHD. I found your video on selective mutism and I really enjoyed it. I watch your videos at the start of my day. I like to learn and be intentional with my morning content or I end up scrolling all day. Usually puts me in a productive and focused mood, but relaxed.
AHHHH you articulated your experience so well. I relate to a lot of what you said.
I grew up with an adhd diagnosis and was also diagnosed with autism last year. I've been curious about other ND people and how they use social media. It's baffled me for a long time, and I frequently ask myself what I'm doing on any given platform. I went to school for advertising and believe that is when I fully grasped how much of a chokehold social media has in modern society and I developed a persona with work in mind. And then I got hacked, and then I resurfaced a few years later with a new name and gender and a lot of the same questions.
What is the purpose of me going online? When and why did they post that? Is anyone actually enjoying themselves? How do you stay present and also online? If I follow anymore tattoo artists, will I ever see my friends' posts ever again? If I look at too many of this person's posts who I just met, will I develop conclusions based on false assumptions, lose interest and forget about them before we can have another interaction? Or develop a parasocial relationship with their online persona, excited to meet up, and then crushed when they're nothing like I imagined?
As I get older, and understand myself and my place in the world, I continue to interrogate my place in cyberspace as a person of color who is also trans and queer. Representation has helped me accept who I am, and so I feel obligated to be seen online so everyone knows we out here getting older. But that's a lot of pressure, so after a week of posting and back and forth follows and such, setting up in person hangs and meetings, I will inevitably fall off the face of the internet. I used to think this was a defect i.e. me being distracted or having social media anxiety/scopophobia/fear of being perceived, and feel guilty and ashamed. However, I'm learning and accepting that life offline is a lot more interesting to me, and that's a good thing. There's something wrong with the people who say "I thought you were dead" though cos most of them wouldn't care enough to attend my funeral if I was. Which doesn't matter because I'm busy living my life.
Subscribed 😊
I’ve never had social media and was diagnosed AuDHD in my early 30s. I didn’t understand social media and it now makes more sense why that is.
I really like watching your videos at work. My job is very monotonous and so watching your insightful content makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my time while I get my tasks done at work!
Yes… I 100% get it, and I can’t understand yet… I feel frustrated 😢 because I’m trying to grow my makeup social media, I’m posting frequently and all… but I just feel so weird and embarrassed that I don’t have likes and stuff like that… I would be mortified if someone who I know in person found my page 😫
How do you human?
I’m so scared that people will be mean… I made a story asking if they would try green makeup look… and the only answer was “No” 😂💀 I laughed but then I got embarrassed… and deleted the story.
When I was younger and had my personal Instagram… I was posting my real self, but people didn’t like and judge me a lot, and I got in a lot of trouble😔
Now I use it to share memes with my friends… and don’t upload at all, anything.
I’m sorry I’m dumping all this here, but I felt so alienated and I’m scared to feel the same if I show my true self and personality…
Anyways, great content, you are helpful. This videos always makes me think and look inside myself and check on me.
(I’m sorry if I didn’t make sense English it’s not my mother language)
This resonates with me so much 💚
i watch your videos at any time im feeling like i need validation in how im feeling/wow, im really not alone, i dont have to suffer this much, there are people who understand and can help me. as an undiagnosed high-masking autist working as a new RN in a very neurotypical field (nursing/healthcare), it is very isolating and feels like no one understands me or what im going through. i cant help but feel like everyone has it down or just knows how to interact, but it is so difficult for me. ive been feeling so burnt out and lost, but everything you describe is exactly how i feel. thank you, you honestly got me to go to therapy and start working on myself. this video really solidified how i feel about social media and i do really need a break
Just a new follower that has gained so much from your content. I have been interested in the human brain my whole life and didn’t consider that I was neurodivergent and struggling until after getting a psych degree. I always come to your videos whenever I want something more engaging to watch. Your videos really make me think about how other people like me are out there and we are just scratching the surface of as a society (species honestly). I love being able to come to your thought processes are very familiar to me and I don’t hear that talked about much in the world and especially not in formats I can consume. I’m an ADHD, possible undiagnosed autistic AFAB, and I really can’t pay attention to something well if it doesn’t catch my interest in it as well as visual and auditory information aligning and engaging my brain
Thank you soo much for this video! 💛 this is exactly the topic I've been mulling over for week now. It's so nice to see another neurodivergent perspective and get some validation for how confusing it is!
Also, regarding your question: I am having a small morning routine when I turn on your videos after I cooked my breakfast around 10-12 am (sometimes it gradually transforms into lunch 🙃). And then while I watch I usually pause when I start thinking about something you mention, sometimes I bring my journal with me and write out what's on my mind. I like this little routine because it keeps me grounded. Your voice and overall vibes are very calming, I find your thought process very similar to mine. The way describe your state is like a starting point for me to question and reflect on the similarities and differences. All of which is helping to accept the notion of being autistic (it's been couple of years of my self-diagnosis and unmasking journey). All in all usually I'm content and calm with the reflection/new info I gathered and then I let the thoughts sink at the back of my mind while I keep myself busy with life.
Hope this helps! And thank you again for all your videos 🌞
I don’t have a diagnosis myself but I can relate to a lot of things you discuss. I come to your videos if I feel overwhelmed by school and social life to just have someone that is talking about what I’m feeling and so that I don’t feel like I’m the only one. And when I feel like i don’t get myself it’s nice to hear you put words to what I’m feeling regarding interactions with people.
Thank you! Love your videos ❤
I slowly stopped using all of the social media from my life and I felt better than ever! I stopped using everything except of one messenger where I chat with my best friend, youtube and tiktok (I use it probably twice a month or so, lol). I also unfollowed a majority of stuff I didn't need really. It feels so peaceful and calm now that I don't have the overwhelming stream of information in my life. My brain felt a lot better when the huge amount of stimuli was cut and reduced.
Hi. I just did a meditative body practice and decided to listen to this video at the same time. I find it a good way to alternate. between entertaining my brain with helpful guidelines and experiencing my body through the practice that I am doing. I also listen to you when there is an aspect of my life that is challenging socially. Instead of spinning in my head trying to figure it out by myself I listen to you remembering what is really helpful and realistic in the social challenge I am having.
You're a comfort creator for me!
SUCH a great video! 👍
Thank you!
needed that! i am currently starting share more on social media and it‘s so weird like: why post people stories? what should i share? is this to private for social media? where are the rules for this thing? i am very confused.
I really resonated with a lot of the personal experiences of confusion with social media dynamics that you shared.
This video has really helped me reflect on my relationship with social media and I would say it’s more unhealthy at the moment. I definitely have used it to numb myself and dissociate, which ends up making me feel disconnected to myself and others in the present moment.
When you shared about using social media with intention, I actually did the second example for this video. I chose to watch it while getting ready for my day because I have a tendency to listen to thought-provoking topics/topics of interest while doing errands or driving. I receive your videos to be relevant and thought-provoking and I tend to watch them during the day.
Thank you, Irene, for creating this video and all the other videos you share on UA-cam. I appreciate you & I wish you the best ❤
I usually watch your channel in the afternoon when i finish school just to relax and feel peace after all of the overwhelming things that happens through the day and to feel better about myself because i resonate alot with you and your autistic experience so thanks alot for your calming videos ♡ ♡ ♡
Thank you for another soothing, relatable af video!
I usually watch your content in the morning while I'm getting ready for the day or doing basic chores that are too boring for my AuDHD brain to bear without a distraction. I love your calm vibes, I find your voice very soothing, and every video makes me feel less alone and gives me a lot to think about. I love that even though we have so many similar experiences, you have a unique perspective on them that helps me understand them more deeply.
Thank you! ❤
Lol i do the same checklist now, im so much happier besides my youtube addiction. I used to post everything even self destructive stuff and now i try to choose me. Your videos are cool because as someone without a diagnosis, high masking. I relate to how you describe things a lot more.
I watch your videos in the morning because it’s comforting to have a voice while I’m working talking about things I think about too.
i like the point you made about the intention behind scrolling. i feel the same way and this is something i see affect other areas of my life. part of my inflexible/black and white thinking i am really put off by people who i perceive do things mindlessly or without being self-aware of their intention
It gives me a way to engage with my special interest without being completely isolated. It's the reason I even discovered my special interest & have a reason to wake up every day as an adult. But it's absolutely harmful if the user chooses to use it in destructive ways.
And, I listen to your videos along with all the other mostly-audio videos from my subscription feed, which is in the morning & afternoon since that's when it's easiest to keep my phone screen on & do things at home or at work or driving where I don't need to be hanging onto my phone & it can just sit & play a video. (Other times I'm listening to podcasts so the screen doesn't need to be on.) I listen to content from a handful of autistic creators because it helps me understand myself & validates my experiences.
I have recently found your videos, so only a week or so of data. But in general I watch your videos in the early morning before work. 4-7:30amPST (calming voice, understanding new things about myself, learning)
I also watch in the evening to wind down from work and have added you to the rotation of videos for companioning with tasks. This would be around 4:30-8pm(ish)PST
Irene, thank you for another amazing video T_T!! I usually watch you in the evenings while drawing or just stimming. I find your videos very comforting and feel extremely understood by them!! You were one of the first people i found on my journey of discovering autism and you helped A LOT. I often rewatch your video about INFJ and autistic people similarities, it is very special for me T_T Thank you for all what you're doing
I always watch your videos in the morning while I’m getting ready. I think it’s because your content is so validating and relatable❣️
Thanks for sharing! I resonated a lot with your experience with social media. Very similar to how I experience, feel, and think about it.
As far as when I watch your videos, I think it's during a state of imposter syndrome tbh haha whenever I feel like maybe I'm not auDHD, I seek out your videos, and am reassured about my diagnosis since I resonate with all the videos I've seen so far. I also watch your videos while I'm at work or when I want to just have something in the background that's still stimulating but educational.
For when i watch your videos, i don't really have a specific time of the day i watch yours, but i do come to them with the intent of possibly learning more about myself, and finding how my autisim affects me
I’m watching this as I eat breakfast at 11 am 🍳🥞☕️ I found your videos yesterday and I’m hooked lol I think it’s because I feel like I can relate to you in so many ways. Its nice to hear that someone else thinks similarly to me because most people I’ve met don’t understand the way I am. We are close to the same age and you are even an artist and went to art school like me! I also really didn’t like how fake people were on social media and then acted so different when I would see them in class. I’ve always felt weird about social media and get really frustrated about likes. I was getting a lot of likes on instagram at one point when I was posting every day but I was secretly miserable during that time and no one knew it except my boyfriend and mom. When reels came into the equation I pretty much quit using any social media because I don’t enjoy filming my art process. I hope that I can completely stop using social media one day but I seem to keep “relapsing” because I start to feel really lonely without it and some part of me thinks that going on it will help (spoiler alert: it doesn’t ever help). I didn’t know i had autism until recently and everything is starting to slowly make sense. I don’t like social media bc it’s just a giant mask and it causes me to have meltdowns since I’m not being myself on it. Thank you for this video ❤
This is the second video of yours I’ve watched, first video of my morning while I’m getting ready for work.
I also was diagnosed in adulthood with adhd and a few years later autism. When I watch your videos I feel a need to be open to self acceptance and reflection. I enjoy how you explain your perspective on ideas, choices, etc.
I feel like one of the neurotypical masks I had to survive with was the critical judgement of self and others, so I feel it important that I’m not in a place where I find myself in that old mask to be capable of being open to accepting new perspectives and therefore watch your videos.
I have a few other creators that fit into this same camp, when I sometimes realize I’m in a judgement state and can’t get out with simple awareness so I don’t watch their videos.
I’d be curious to see if it would be a good experiment to watch those videos that I feel pushed away from after I’ve found the awareness for the resistance. Very curious! ✨
Thank you for explain this topic today. I’ve been off social medias besides UA-cam really for two years or more and I’m in my mid twenties so it’s challenging to know I’m not connecting with my of my friends who spend a lot of time on there.
Have a great day, and thank you for reading my comment anyone who does! ✨☺️
Thank you for this Video, I'm relatively recently in terms of flowing and watching your content. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I've recently been trying to see if I've also been autistic this whole time as well, so your videos have been incredibly helpful and relatable.
And also yeah, my social media experience has been, healthy to unhealthy with a bit of a turbulent balance ratio thing going on. And I honestly have yet to really figure out the sort of balance that works best for within a social media space cause the shifts and social perceptions has also been a lot and I'm still trying to figure out what I want that to be while figuring out what actually works for me. It's been difficult yet I'm kinda tackling things as I get there. And your video really resonates with me in a role modeling kinda way, so it helps out a lot and puts some of my needs and concerns into words.
Also as of late, I've been watching and listening to informative content at the start of my day to help with getting me in a working mindset and I've noticed that, cause I used to listen to my music instead and now it's been different and yeah.
Really insightful look into how autistic people relate to social media. I resonated with it a ton!
Ive had a mixed relationship with it. I love the creative aspect of it because it helps you connect with likeminded people more easily.
The toughest part is the approval aspect. When you work hard on a post and it tanks, it can be soul-crushing. It's a cold reminder that we're sometimes out of sync with what people want to see. Its easy to say "stop worrying what people think" but the reality is theres a part of me that links self worth to social media performance.
In terms of when I watch, usually late afternoon when I'm feeling overwhelmed by life 😅
sooo relatable!! especially the part about not understanding why some peoples’ posts work and mine don’t 😅 and gosh, i guess i barely escaped the age of friendships being massively impacted by what did & didn’t happen on sosh meds. i mean we had facebook since highschool, but exposure & worldwide popularity weren’t really in the picture. I feel compassion for all of the younger generations who have to deal with that. Relating is hard enough as it is 🥹
anyways, i hope this is welcome, but your hair is extra cute in this video 🤗
I watch your videos usually during work or when im working on my art its a good feeling all around i think i feel understood and connected maybe even grounded. Maybe this is just a generalization but i dont connect well with some autistic people i think they’re boring but i vibe well with a lot of what you say. There was one video that sold your vids for me it was the one talking about humor and you referenced a joke your friend made saying wait thats mental illness i was laughing hours and days later just thinking about it. I hope that doesn’t pressure you to need to be funny all the time too cuz thats not why i keep watching.
I watch your videos when I’m cooking food haha. Sometimes I feel a bit empty/lonely and I’ll watch it as a bit of comfort.
This is a very insightful presentation. As a Gen-Xer (50 years old), I can strongly relate to the experience of there being a very discrete division between the pre-digital and post digital culture. Heck, In my own undergraduate time at art school, computer graphics were not even being taught in the Illustration department until the year after I graduated! I also struggle with whole question of social media, and the emphasis on relentless, rigorously curated self-promotion and the constant battle to avoid comparing myself to others’ accomplishments or experiences. I often feel the need to withdraw from that sphere for days or even weeks at a time.
Good thoughts.
i watch your videos early evening and i have autism and was hyperfixated about figuring out and learning about autism and my autism so i’d write down things i’d learn in a binder about it
feels so good to know what you want 👏👏👏
I’m at work. I’m listening and just looking to listen to something that is safe to help me concentrate. I can trust your content to listen to
I watch you while I clean my room which is super often bc I got adhd and my room gets so cluttered so fast, thank you for ur words man
I hate social media in general. I am still on UA-cam so I can listen to music and engage in communities like this one, but I am very very careful about how I engage online. I feel like I don't need to know that the people I went to school with are racist, I don't need happy birthdays from people that just felt obligated because fb said it was my bday, and the people that actually care about me know my phone number and text me. It's not designed with actual people in mind, it's designed to collect and sell your information. So instead of being designed with healthy communities and social well being as a goal, it's set up to make you upset, because the companies found that if you're angry or insecure you'll spend more time giving up information. I like communities like this one because there's an actual person or people curating it with a healthy community in mind.
Really appreciate what you’re saying about being an observer rather than a user of social media.
For my part, I think social media isn’t very healthy for anyone really, so not really “getting it” isn’t a bad thing. I resonate with your experience of social media, to the point where I don’t bother with it now. It just felt fake and strange to me and left me sad. The men who have made these products don’t use them themselves and I think that’s one of the main reasons to stay away from it.
Thanks!
I’ve been watching you for a couple weeks now, and I’ve never commented before since sometimes I find it pointless. But the questions you presented were interesting, I’d say I have probably a very unhealthy relationship with social media, it’s my part of my job but I avoid actually doing it. Posting is just kinda stressful, but it’s necessary. If I don’t do well, if I get hate comments…I also mainly engage with social media since I work from home, have depression/social anxiety(+ suspected adhd), moved away from my hometown & friends, with not much opportunity to socialize just to kinda get the sense of socialization without the anxiety of it in real life even if it’s still stressful, it’s stimulating to my otherwise pretty lonely day besides when my boyfriend gets home. Whenever I look for content on UA-cam usually it’s like I need a audio stim to finally get up and start doing something.But whenever I see your videos I’m usually in the mood to think, to relate and figure out things that I didn’t know were adhd related and some symptoms I might have that overlap with autism. I really only talk to one friend and she had both like you, I relate to her symptoms & adhd + autism run in my close family which i also share symptoms on. One of the reasons I even started suspecting was because I got told I have a lot of similarities to someone’s daughters adhd symptoms and since she did a lot of research about it, told me I should get checked out but I always associated it with my family & not myself so it felt disjointed that I wasn’t like them at all. Watching your videos & others who produce this content helped me realize it’s more complex, and effects so much in your life. (Sorry I kinda got derailed & waffled)
i have a few private accounts i used t post on a lot just as a way to keep in touch with my friends and it helps with my memory (memory difficulty isn't a diagnostic symptom but still a common one that definitely affects me) but i moved onto journalling instead (and one server with my friends :3). i like how permanent and easy to customize journals are and i prefer handwriting as im still not good at typing
Well said!👏🙌
Having social media tends to overwhelm me, so I rarely use it. I tend to come back for some weeks because I feel bad at not interacting with my old friends and I see how much importance they give to online interaction, but it exhausts me so much.
I think I tend to be misunderstood most of the time and it stresses me out all the online drama. So I prefer spending time in person or using pen paling to communicate. It feels way better this way. I do feel I am missing a different level of connecting with some people, but I try to change them to other texting platforms that I use more often and it works! :)
I'm AuDHD and currently spending a lot of time on social media as I have been isolated by society due to the ongoing COVID-19 virus being easily transferable and the fact that I am very high risk and on immunosuppressant. It's very hard to manage a balance of mindless scrolling, and also getting social interaction when I can't really leave the house. I have definitely unfollowed many people as the years go by and I used to think that if I had some sort of relationship with someone in person I had to follow them online and engage with all of their content that they posted. Now I feel more relaxed about following people and on following them and also literally use the mute story option. With your videos I like to watch them either with lunch or dinner as I've only really hard to eat in general so I need to make it an exciting activity. When I come to the third spot I am here looking for the opinions of a fellow non-white autistic person and it feels like a very warm and soothing space as I really enjoy the tone of your voice.
I usually listen to mental health videos, which are mostly about autism and ADHD for me, while sewing, pinning and such, so I don't really watch them and often have my phone closed at the time.
My relationship with Facebook and Instagram was not healthy until recently. The constant posting of news was eating me up, as well as the way the mysterious Instagram algorithms worked, and how they rarely seemed consistent. I’ve done something kinda similar to what you mentioned at the end, only opening the apps with the intention of connecting with the people in close circle, and trying my hardest to ignore other posts/people that I definitely did not care about😅
As a gen-x aspie who remembers life BEFORE the internet, social media and self-checkout, it sometimes feels like I've been struggling my whole life to be more open, to empathize and interact with people, while the rest of the human world is shutting itself off more and more.
I've never understood social media with people you know IRL, aside from maybe just sharing vacation pics on facebook..
People always bang on about how social media is terrible and i just laugh because no, the problem is not social media, the problem is *shitty* social media.
I just laugh at nonsense memes and cat photos on reddit and chat with likeminded people, like this social media is bloody wonderful.