Toxic Influencer Culture: Women Submitting, Hypocrisy & Narcissism | To My Sisters, The Podcast
Вставка
- Опубліковано 17 кві 2021
- Can 'influencers' be trusted and should you listen to them? In light of the break up between Quavo and Saweetie, and the Derrick Jaxn scandal, your two favourite online big sisters discuss the pros and cons of influencer culture. Sharing their opinions on submission in marriage, relationship goals and the dangers influencers and viewers could fall into when it comes to setting standards.
Join the sisterhood and the community:
www.tomysisters.com
@tomysisterhood
About us:
At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to help women across the world draw from the community to manifest their greatest ambitions.
Primarily focused on personal development and business/entrepreneurship, To My Sisters is unique in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From dealing with past trauma to setting up your next business venture, TMS is the one-stop destination for women looking to break the boundaries of what is seen as possible in our time.
To know more about us and to join the sisterhood for weekly exclusive content and glow and grow tips visit www.tomysisters.com
Join the conversation and community on social media:
Instragram: / tomysisterhood
Twitter: / tomysisterhood
Come and say hi to us your hosts:
/ cdboateng
/ reneekapuku
/ cdboateng
/ reneekapuku
Listen on Spotify:
open.spotify.com/show/2XZh8CV...
Listen & Review on Apple Podcasts:
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...
#tomysisters #influencerculture
"Submission is a response to being loved well" *snaps* you said it soooooo well👌🏿
I was looking for this quote, my sista 💛
This quote hit!!!
Exactly, you don’t need to ask for it. If you treating your woman right it’s a natural reaction
@@traceyi7545 its clear you have a problem with submitting. because if its so natural to you, then you should submit to everyman that you are in or starting a relationship with.
@@coolrunnings1936 people without a profile pic opinions don’t matter sorry, its easy to talk shi behind a computer
"you are watching someone else whilst your life is passing you by" ALL COURNTEY DOES IS DROP GEMS
I love when she says “whilst”. lol it’s just a word you never hear in America and it sounds so dignified when she says it lol.
FACTS!!!
She's a powerhouse!
That stook out to me the most. I think sometimes I forget to actually live out my life
"He will go for a less ambitious woman next time." That's OK. Dude just admitted you're above his league. Sis, it's going to hurt right now, but you'll be more fulfilled in the long run than being with someone who wants you to keep lowering your standards and dismissing your needs. Not that a big house is a need, but it's OK to want a certain lifestyle when you can afford it. You might a big house bc you value spacious uncluttered rooms, you want to decorate multiple rooms, separate bedroom for each child etc. An apartment in Manhattan might be more expensive than a house in Texas with 3 times the space. So a big house also doesn't always mean more money. Anyway, wish you well, future doctor sis!
In Paul’s words husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church - the implication of that statement really needs to be emphasised
Adella said it best: "Influencers are not your friends!" It's nice to choose things that are good from them but not to strive to emulate their lifestyles 100% because we're all different. Celebrities and influencers have too much power in my opinion and it's hard for them too because so much is expected of them. The masses have sadly lost critical thinking and discernment. We need to learn to take everything with a pinch of salt because truth be told, you don't KNOW the influencer. You know ABOUT them but it ends there. Such a relevant topic, ladies!
Wow, what an amazing channel name😍 going to go subscribe. Sims fans unite!
@@checksanto thank you so much! I appreciate you!🥺
Yes to all of this!!
Yeah what an influencer does or have we as "normal" people don't need all of things that they do
My opinion on the dilemma: the fact that as the ‘husband’ he believes the final decision rests with him and he doesn’t allow for her wants to be considered in the decision is a red flag. I can see where this is a compromise, he wants a small house, she wants a big house, I’m sure he could’ve compromised with her and met her in the middle lol so them breaking up was a blessing in disguise. Like hey she wants a cinema, maybe a well retrofitted living room could suffice. He just never tried. For him, he’s wrong and I think he should reassess how he approaches matters when making the final decision.
You're so right
Agreed! This is not how a man "leads". Seems he wants an obedient partner and is mislabeling it as a problem of ambition.
@@jhaneldundas4536 so how does a man lead? from behind a woman?
are you a man?
The fact that he said he will look for a "less ambitious" woman from now on pissed me off. Like sir, wanting a movie room in your house has nothing to do with ambition, it's a desire. Also, just because you're the head of the household that doesn't mean you're the only one who makes decisions. Might as well stay single if that's how he sees the role of a husband.
Touching on what Courtney said, once I realised a lot of my favourite singers and actresses did not have relationships I desired nor hoped to replicate I started to remember to set a strong boundary between ENTERTAINMENT and GOALS. I can rap along to your lyrics without desiring to live out your lyrics. i am here trying to replicate how you treat men when my parents have been in a 20 year marriage ?? we really need to catch ourselves on who we subconsciously admire
YES SIS!!!!!!!!!
couldn't agree more! The distinction is so important
I am Christian and I don't entertain the submission conversation at all. That overly quoted chapter also asks husbands to submit to their wives...so what is the point? "Submit yourselves to one another". And in Corinthians, a wife's body is not her own and her husband's body is not his own. We are two adults in a partnership. No one has veto power except we want to build resentment. Adults in healthy, long term relationships are marked by partnership with healthy communication habits and respect for each other. There are no separate commandments for women or men and we are co-heirs in Christ. It's really the apostles that come later with all these ideas of what women should do when Jesus himself taught women (strange for his time) and revealed his resurrection to women first. But even the apostles are saying something different than what is being pushed. It is in the curse after the Fall for a woman's desire to be for her husband, the same curse that binds men to toiling over the earth. Jesus comes and shows how that toiling does not make a fruitful life, he redeems us from that curse...but that's a conversation people are not ready for.
Ephesians 5:22-33
King James Version
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
That Derrick guy said zero tolerance on cheating soooo LOL
To me on the issue of submission, im only submitting to a man whos submitting to me. Thats all thats gonna cut it for me because if submitting means that I sit back and let you walk allover me, guide me blindly, no baby. Not happening.
Cassie, im 6'5 and 250pounds i would never submit to another man let along a women. do you know what a man that submits to his woman is?.. a man that submits to other men aswell (beta) you think by submitting that means you never have a say? that is a control freak theres a difference. the problem is that you dont want to compete! you dont what to show a man that you are worthy of his protection and guidance. you what a man to submit to you before you submit to him? does that even make sense? but the next girl will submit instantly and get all she desires.
so if your over 28 and still have this attitude? you better switch it up before the wall hits and then you'll be begging to submit to any guy or just end up along?
@@coolrunnings1936 lol you're hilarious. Have a blessed day love
@@Sandra.-. ok Cas im glad you found me funny like your problem is a laughing matter? but good luck to you Cas
@@coolrunnings1936 You didn't have to put your dimensions bro, this isn't your dating profile. 😂
I'm not Christian so I guess this is why I am confused by why submission to a man is even a conversation. I submit to good ideas, if they come from a man woman or child.
I am a Seventh Day Adventist Christian but when it comes to submission, it’s a thing that is to be done by both a man and a woman. Not a man having complete power over his wife. A marriage is a partnership where the 2 becomes 1. People love to take quotes and scriptures and interpret them in a way to benefit them and them alone.
@@ashleyhenna6201 i am SDA too and i 100% agree. it’s another case of Scripture being manipulated to fit an agenda
Loved this episode! As a married woman I can say your discussion on submission was right on target! Submission isn't the problem, poor leadership and insufficient love is the problem. Also, I don't believe in the "long suffering wife" narrative. My husband KNOWS I will leave before I stay anywhere miserable! Just FYI, as an HBCU grad along with Derrick Jaxn and his wife, word was already out that he has cheated on his wife for over a decade...before the marriage. Unfortunately these HBCU streets have known the tea! New subscriber!
Agreed, this part: "Submission isn't the problem, poor leadership and insufficient love is the problem"
THE GEMSSSSSSS
The dilemma one is crazy because some men automatically think or feel that because they are a man they make the ultimate a decision. In any partnership/marriage joint decision making always makes a powerful unit!
nahh i disagree! for anything to be successful you need one head not two.
@Mama Drama Pod Thank you! This and some other reasons is why I’m so indifferent to submission conversations. To me trusting someone and letting them lead because you’re aware they have your best interest as heart is simply what it is and natural part of healthy relationships. If submission is what people who are advocates of it believe it is, then the label is hella misleading and it should be called something else. Love, trust, respect, faith, compromise are simply byproducts of healthy relationships, and are the responsibilities of both people in the relationship. I don’t even feel the need to lead in my relationship, but I think of it as a give and take situation, but people only talk about it context of gender roles I feel like.
Sis...be with someone you’re on the same wavelength with in a lot of sectors. Lavish and demure are not on the same wavelength. If that’s a non negotiable trait, japa! We as women need to be able to discern between things we can compromise and not compromise. We deserve to be happy and have it all too.
Too many quotable moments here, but this...
"If you want people to love you, give people the room to hate you" ❤
MIND THE BUSINESS THAT PAYS YOU IS WHAT I HEARD LOUD AND CLEAR... pls these social media people will not stress me.
We know that's right!
That ambition comment was also very passive aggressive and making snide underhand comments on her achievement. Men sometimes go for very successful women then realise they can't keep up and feel resentful and start tearing them down including emotionally.
This is why I always say, the internet is great and what not but sometimes we are being influenced too much to a point we actually need to ask ourselves, Are our thoughts really our thoughts
I be questioning that sometimes especially now in the pandemic with music and the books that I read. I have to remind myself of my own voice
i see a TMS notification, i drop everything i am doing respectfully. 🧘🏾♀️
SAME!!
RESPECTFULLY 😂 ❤️
I cannot physically express how much I love you guys, you put so eloquently into words all of my scattered thoughts and it’s crazy but I’ll have anxiety about something and the next week that’s what you’ll talk about. It has to be God 😂❤️
We love to hear it and are so honored sis! Welcome to the sisterhood ❤️
SISTERSSSS!!!!!!! PLEASE LET'S ALL GATHER HERE AND LISTEN!! CHILEEE I loved it!! All my thoughts have been worded correctly!!!!! "submission is a response to being LOVED well!! nah👏🏾 made my evening! listen ill come write a whole paragraph out of excitement lol!! I'm all in guys continueee going!! we need this!!
Sis we meet again 🤪😂
@@RiaDonita yaya Oyoki!!! Nah we need a catch up session!!!
We love love loveeee to see it! So happy you enjoyed the episode and we stay waiting on that paragraph hehe 😜❤️
one question: are you married or engaged?
i'm glad you raised that point at 52:00 because this girl keeps posting about her relationship and relationship content which i engage in trying to hold her accountable, all of the sudden when i told her to write a book i was in the wrong! i mean, why feed people content if you wouldn't like the commentary on it?
I really appreciate the content you both are creating. FINALLY topical conversation from some young women who are smart, spiritual, and humble. I feel seen and understood when I listen to you guys, but you also challenge my thinking and I LOVE it. This is SOOO needed at this time. Thank you for putting your voices out there!
Thank you so much - we're super happy it translates well, exactly what we are hoping to do with this platform. Your support gives us lots of energy! ❤️
the way you two are being instruments of God's peace and grace!!! I can hear hear God talking to me through you!!!
Amen to that! Thank you ❤️
I wish I could retweet this omg!
I'm so grateful this podcast exists!!😭🙌🏾
❤️ ♥️
Don't be so invested in characters you don't know. How invested are you in your personal growth ❤️focus on your own grass, water where you 💃💃
I also think that it can be harmful taking advice from influencers that doesnt look like you. Fx. i use to watch a lot motivation video from all of this random white cis men or white cis women, and i am a black handicap women, so their advice was not always relevant for me, because they did not talk about the fact that they where able people, or they had priviligt like their skin colour, and for a long time i just felt like i was doing something wrong, until i realise i need to follow more people like me, because the people i follow was setting urealistik "goal" for me, or making me neglect a part of me. If people are taking advice from people who doesnt look like them, they can end up neglect part of them self, or even resent them self. AND of course you can always learn from other people, but i just think that's something everybody should be aware of with social media.
Absolutely - representation and true diversity is really important, as is the exercise of discretion because it is rarely a one-size-fits-all experience!
recently discovered your channel and podcast and i salute you women so much. you dont get much wisdom, and truth like this and im so glad to have come across your refreshing perspective. more blessings to the both of you!
Such a good discussionnnn. Thank you💕
GEMS were dropped this episode!!!!! I’ve learned a lot from this episode that I am going to apply to my life. Thank you guys as always.
I love how articulate you guys are. you hit every point!
Ugh love this episode! 🤩
These men online aren't even Christian talking about submission like....????? Ion see you in church sir.
😂
This honestly has just became my favourite UA-cam channel. I'm here for the real talk and holding ourselves accountable!
I'm glad you also have this on UA-cam.
I'm at work, wearing my headphones listening to you two lovely ladies, and minding my business. Great talk!
I AM HERE FOR THISSSS
I could listen to you 2 speak all day! The wisdom expressed from this video was really thought provoking. You 2 are truly a rare pair of young, forward thinking and intelligent ladies. I wish you and TMS all the deserved success
Means so much to us! Thank you ❤️
Practice what you preach! Ladies, you made good points that got me thinking 💭... thank you ladies.
Keep up the good work 🤎
You're so welcome! thank you ❤️
Love the chat ladies, refreshing to hear some level headed opinions....compliments from the Caribbean 🇹🇹
Sisters dropping gems on this one👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
So happy I found your channel
Yesss another episode :)
Loving this topic ladies
Just found y’all and I already know this is a vibe and I’m here to stay🙌🏿
Pull up a chair! We got space for you ❤️
i'm OBSESSED with your podcast 🥺
Same sis Same
Yaaaaasssssss they are back !!!
Looking forward to your next video!
Ok you guys are seriously my Favs. Just a breath of fresh air
We love to see it ❤️
Love this .. Very smart ladies
Guys you should really link your personal UA-cam in the description. Great mature discussion from a young person. Love to see it.
Few things get me as excited as a new TMS episode 😍
No way! We are happy you're enjoying so far ❤️
This is too deep shish 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 Thank you ladies for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. 👏🏾
Thank you so much - glad you enjoyed ❤️
This podcast 💯💯💯💯 you guys speak so much truth
Y’all r preaching today
You know I came running when I saw a new TMS episode! 😅 Love you girls! 💞
We know that's right! Love you ❤️
oh, this i want to hearrrr
This was so insightful
I'm here for this content!
Your sentiment about holding people to a pedal there was a quote I had heard recently is that "Editing makes a story" the way the influencers make themselves to be is all down to editing which means you never really know this influencer like at all
:thiiiiiis by far is my favorite episode ❤️😤😤😤👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾the bombs dropped here... WOW!!!!
whewwwww we love to see it! Thank you ❤️
Look forward to your videos 💘
We love to see it ❤️
You two are gorgeous, wise and funny! So happy I found your channel ❤️.
Can we talk about how the demand of being an influencer is seriously underpaid for the amount of single produced content that the mass media no longer owes a team of video creators. They can market the same products and pay less to have it done.
The deep sigh at 54:03 I felt that
*lizzo voice* i've been waiting for this one! turn it up!!!
New sub from the US !!
This. Whole. Video. YES.
Thank you sis! ❤️
First time watching one of your videos!! And you guys defined submission perfectly!!👏🏾👏🏾
really!! you need to be told how to submit? these are the end of days if you dont even know how to do something that is in your nature!
@@coolrunnings1936 are you alright????....where in my comment did I say anything about not knowing how to submit. Please get off UA-cam and stop getting at people before you even read the comment properly . Did I not say “defined” 😴
@@kyraGTV relax! why you getting your panties in a twist? i know what you said and if you think their definition of submission is perfect...? then, its clear you dont know how to submit. but hey thats not my problem its for the poor soul that has to put up with your attitude.
@@coolrunnings1936 lol & God bless the person who you’re in a relationship with 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣got to put up with an internet bully 🤣🤣Bye Felicia 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@kyraGTV 😆😆😊🤣 im a bedroom bully not an internet bully...! my words should not effect you if they have no truth in them... so why you getting so angry at me? you need to claim yourself down, you're so up tight. go get a magic wand and let your frustrations rain out like a fountain. so go enjoy life and forget about me...
I think the main issue is not having a universal understanding of WHAT is being influenced. Are influencers obliged to influence in all aspects, including morally OR is it solely influencing the financial decisions of your followers? I.e. Spending money on a product/service. Part of me thinks a lot of unnecessary pressure is being placed on influencers to influence beyond their means and the other part of me thinks the backlash has some validity considering how big the platform is. If we're saying that an influencer is only being paid to influence your spending habits, then scrutiny around their moral compass shouldn't be as wide as it is, however if an influencer's job is to be influential in any capacity, then that is a different story. I'm very conflicted with this one. I'm not an influencer, nor do I have any plans to become one but I definitely see both sides of the coin
I adore you ladies!
❤️ ❤️
She looked and in the camera and said “you’re in bankruptcy” edges gone lmfao
30 seconds in and this chocolate brownnnnnn unit is browning Courtney 😍
It’s the beautiful black queens, it’s the setup, it’s the good conversation for me 🥰😍👸🏾👸🏿
You are the ☀️ of your own life. Everyone else is suppose to rotate around you. #maincharacterofyourownplay
Both of you look beautiful love the hair
First time on this channel and I couldn't go without joining the TSM community 🤩🤩🤩
We know that's right! Welcome sis ❤️
CHIISSOOOSSS!!! The way you both are just yelling and attacking the "status quo" as we know it. Chineke me ooo!!! I love to see it lol Keep up the amazing content ladies.
This is not her sin but it's become her battle...damn! strong words there
Mind the business that pays you ❤️
You redefine the feminist movement
Ladies. What would be your definition of a Leader? Love your points of view
First Time in my whole life that I see somoene with the same kind of seasonal dimple as me lol (you!) Great interview!
Haha it's rare! Thank you! ❤️
This is what people seem to get confused is about the power of an influencer and always having something being filmed can be misused
Hmmm. Less than 1% of people have a house the way that was described in the dilemma. I am a doctor.....you can't get a house like that on a doctors salary. What was her plan to afford that type of house? Did she have a business idea or did she expect her also future doctor ex-bf to magic up this money. Did she have a legit plan to make the money to afford such a house (a house with a sauna and cinema room would be in the millions). If they sat down and actually discussed how this money would be made they may have realised that they can't buy a house such as this anyway so it's just a dream that's not going to be a reality (and will never be for 99% of people - FACT not opinion) therefore these is no need to break up for a DREAM! If she had a business plan (in addition or instead of her future doctor job) and projected she would earn good money then why should he break up with her if she is willing to use most of her money to buy this house if he has no business plan and just wants to be a doctor. People need to stop acting out on dreams and act on facts and the reality around them
It’s the latter days for me 😂😂 Change gon’ come. Anyway let me keep listening looool
the word of God says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and wives submit to your husbands as head of your house which means that we both have a role to play you love me as your wife as Christ loved the church and i will let you lead me and submit otherwise i aint gonna submit to you so you can lead us to hell and God aint about to favour you or bless mess.PERIODTTTTT!!!!!! lol
Yes men always remember the part about the wife but not what the bible says about them being men.
Yesss!!!! Even preceding that, the chapter starts with "Have respect for one another out of reverence for the Lord." If he doesn't respect her, how can he expect her to be submissive
If submission is forced, is it really submission?
OKAY?!!
New subie...💖💖💖💖💖💗
Welcome boo thing!
inject all this content into my veins plsss 💉
The Viens & Brain, so that the generational and society chains Break!!
1:13:46
So what man is worthy of submission?
But remember; both of you are influencers too cause you’re producing content! Same goes for you
Why do you say critical thinking is a useless course? You guys seem to use it in your speech and logic, so I'm curious why you think a social media course would be more valuable than a critical thinking course?
Thanks. Great content anyway
The way that critical thinking is taught in our education systems right now aren't as useful if not in combination with practical realities - often, they're taught as lofty, theoretical courses that aren't grounded in how to practically navigate society. So, not entirely useless, but in addition to social media courses/ social science courses, could be far more useful!
@@tomysisters that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying
Love the discussion but the ads every 3 minutes ....
I was getting a bit confused about the frequency of the ads as well. But I saw a youtuber say recently that UA-cam is now in control of how many ads are on the videos. I am not sure if this is true though.
@@mariah8400 really? But how come the frequency on other you tubers videos isn’t as much as this, I think the UA-camrs set the frequency but I could be wrong lol
@@Cairo21 yes I am really not sure
Hey there! Usually, UA-cam automatically assigns ads and frequency which can be difficult to change. We try to change this shortly after publishing as we know it can impact viewer experience, but it does take some time. Thank you for your patience :)
If a woman works hard and she wants to pep up the house and getting a sauna makes her relax im keeping that wife we getting a damn sauna.