I Was Wrong About Midsommar
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2024
- Airing my grievances with this film yet again (in an entirely different way).
0:00 Introduction
3:32 Grieving
17:17 Echoism
36:54 Individualism vs. Collectivism
47:10 Tragedy
#Midsommar #A24 #meeptop
description tags: Ari Aster, A24, Midsommar, fatally flawed, horror, sucks, bad, good, masterpiece, critic, review, analysis, video essay, theory, explained - Фільми й анімація
...this video made me start the process of finding a therapist.
I know I'm a stranger on the internet but I'm really happy for you. It's the first step of many along a long and difficult journey, but therapy has done so much for me and I wish you luck.
As another stranger on the internet, can I just say I am SO GLAD you're taking that step. Therapy saved my life. It took time, it'll take you time, but looking back my life is entirely different (and better) than it was when I first started the process of finding a therapist and I know you'll get there too.
Cool. Well done.
Yeah, this video was shockingly introspective despite it not being about me. I'm probably gonna get some therapy started too.....definitely need it.
I think im going to do that, too. im realizing a lot of things about the ways I try not to take up space because of this video.
I never understood why so many people couldn’t empathize with Dani as I understood her completely the first time I watched - because she was a heightened version of me when I was grieving during one of the worst periods of my life. My family didn’t want to see my grief because we had to be there for the family of the person we lost, but all I wanted was to be held and consoled on how hurt I felt about this sudden loss. I was lucky to at least have friends who were there for me during that time.
The real horror of Midsommar hits when you’ve not only experienced grief, but grief in a way where it feels like no one sees it or worse, no one cares. Because god, would it feel so nice to be held, comforted, and validated in your grief by a whole group of women who wail with you instead of being turned off by your pain. It might just be worth looking the other way when that group treats others in a not so nice way…
Well said. I also identified strongly with Dani when I first saw the film. Perhaps to a concerning point where I wished that I could have a group like the Harga to take me in, even with the crazy cult stuff going on.
TBF you kinda answered your own question.
You could see yourself in Dani, allowing you to empathize with her easier, a lot of other people haven't gone through stuff like this, meaning it'd be much harder for them to see them selves and empathize with Dani.
I would say that whether you see such a group of women as EVER available to you is another point. Midsommar's aesthetics and protagonist silo the viewer into a particular kind of relatability. For one thing, I'm not a straight cis blonde white girl, my experience with the women in that same cult could be different. For another angle on that same thing, I'm an immigrant, my country is at war, I'm transgender - a lot of grief has been in the "no one sees it, no one cares" category my whole life. The war affecting half the important people in my life is thankfully not affecting the other half, and I absolutely HAVE TO grit my teeth and see that as a positive! instead of focusing on how my closest friends wouldn't understand my pain, which I want to do rather badly and rather often.
A movie lamenting on the desire for support for your pain through the lens of a western girl who's only just discovering the fact that sometimes, indeed, "no one sees it & no one cares".... Well, it can be a bit boring, even though I'd 100% support and empathise with a specific friend going through the same. It may be a matter of whether you the viewer see Dani as a neutral protagonist or perhaps neutral woman to relate to, or a straight white western woman you don't relate to.
Absolutely, I saw midsummer just a month after my mom died and it remains one of the most impactful movie experiences of my life. The cut to Dani panicking in the airplane bathroom just solidified it and the rest didn’t let me down. I felt so understood. Her acting was incredible, I related so hard. This movie really is for the grieving.
i think the people who couldn't empathize with dani are just people who haven't experienced loss. i've gone through most of my life until very recently not having lost the people i loved. and when i first watched the movie a few years back, admittedly i didn't understand why dani was like this. but i've lost people in my life in a very similarly tragic way dani lost her family and watching the video made me understand her, and go as far as to feel even worse for her than i previously did on my initial watch of the film.
in a way it's a blessing to not be able to understand dani.
when i first watched midsommar, my mental health was at its lowest, and my relationship (with a guy also named christian) left me feeling worse each time he left me on read or seemed happier around friends than he was with me. i knew my relationship was dying and i knew he wanted to pull away, but i was so afraid of letting go. my high school years were incredibly lonely, and if he was gone, some of my happiest memories would be tainted, and i couldn't lose that. midsommar left me feeling absolutely sick with how much of myself i saw in dani and her relationship, in a way that i don't think anything else has hit me before or again. it's a fantastic movie and i absolutely loved it, but i'm not sure if i can rewatch it yet.
Feeling for you! I hope you will rewatch when you feel ready. That's the awesome thing about this movie...it may actually show you how far you've come. ❤
Oh baby. So well done. Regards.
@@caseyw.6550 don't worry, this was a few years ago so it's mostly that residual feeling of "wow, that hurt" haha. i want to watch it eventually when i'm able to gather the courage to do so! i agree, i think the movie will hit different the next time i watch it, and i think that shows how well ari aster accomplished his goal in creating it :)
Va Moo bbbi ibivîb lo😊vo
I was in a very similar situation. abusive relationship and this movie was weirdly one of the steps that made me realize that i needed to get out. I felt like it was a "good for her" ending. Rewatching as I've healed, I recognize the cycle of abuse shown in the film. Dani loses everything, her bf sucks, she gets roped in to the cult easily. I recognize Christian is a victim now. Dani isn't better off now, she is more isolated than ever.
Echoism is such a fascinating concept to me as an autistic person. Echoist behavior is how I protect myself against social norms that I don’t understand-masking is quite literally a form of echoing the world around me for the sake of staying emotionally and socially safe. This video opened my eyes to that tendency and made me question if that’s really who I want to be, which is something I haven’t felt like I’ve had a choice in for most of my life. Thank you for this video
I was thinking the same thing as I watched this! Hearing all of this with the added lense of ASD just gave me even more to think about. Super interesting video.
*crying with you* am autistic too and I just realize I have been doing Echoism all this time.
I have been finding myself in quiet BPD diagnoses and as I now heard the same attributes described in Echoism, I have to wonder if they are the same thing. A sad person trying their best to be happy and likable and not to bother others, but still spilling over because no one is meant to live like that. But still it is what you are, like the mask that you wear grows on your skin up to the point it makes your skin. I am also autistic and lost people in my younger years and it seems all this bottled up stuff added to the mask that I have carried and the social norms I have memorized is just a vast sea of something outside of me, so deep I have no idea if a me is even findable. At the moment I am living through a phase I call death as the version of me I was is losing oxygen and the version of I could be is starting to form. Meanwhile I am living in my house and being agoraphobic, apparently.
But it is very often so, that the comfort you feel, feels abusive to someone else if they were dropped in to the same situation. I try to remember that, so I will keep moving on.
I’ve had these exact same thoughts watching this video. I’m also autistic and also have a mother who has narcissistic traits and my immediate response to the part about Dani running away whenever she felt strong emotions was guttural. It is me.
@@sagamaraiathis comment is genuine poetry, and I sympathise with it so much.
A good critics is ALWAYS willing to reanalyze their own judgements. From Samuel Johnson to José Ortega y Gasset to TS Eliot, all have looked back at their older judgements and found themselves disagreeing with them…funny enough largely because they see the immaturity and inexperience behind them. That’s damn good company.
"Changing your mind is the best way to determine whether or not you still have one!" one of my fave quotes! (from the Taylor Mali poem 'Like Lily Like Wilson')
I was in a kinda toxic relationship when i first watched midsommar and hereditary. I think both movies are amazing depictions of how intimate relationships can break down, replacing love with bitterness and frustration. They were never horror movies to me, but they gave catharsis to the difficulties I was experiencing in my real life relationships.
I had just over the past year-ish gotten over a very toxic relationship when I saw Midsommar. I related to Dani a lot, having been through a relationship with someone who refused to step up and break up with me when he wasn’t feeling it anymore, and just kept me around for sex/entertainment while being emotionally absent and looking to monkey branch to another relationship, all while stringing me along under the impression that he still cared.
I saw the movie with my roommate at the time, a guy who also knew my ex.
We had VERY different experiences with the ending of that movie.
i really appreciate your re-analysis. Midsommar is one of my favorite movies and it still helps me put into perspective my own feelings of grief and isolation. Im sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort in these trying times
me too !!
This is what’s so beautiful about film- the ability to rewatch something later on in life and seeing it from a very different perspective. Loved the old video and this video for both perspectives as they are both valid in their own ways! Thank you ❤
Same thing can be said for a poem written by a 10 year old. Heck even I have gone back on my old poems and found profound meanings of life from random scramblings
@@catsclub12566does that make it less valid? hindsight and growth are the gifts of humanity. find joy in something lol
This video made me quit heroine and start doxxing ppl to make maney
You rewatch this shit?
It wasn’t that long ago
This is the kind of video essay that's been missing on youtube - reflective, vulnerable, insightful, analytical ... all at once. A truly astonishing work. I hope other youtube creators can learn from it.
This. Thisthisthisthis. This. Oh my. ;_; It was so refreshing to watch.
Love this video!!!!!! One thing I haven't seen talked about is how Dani's fear of abandonment gets triggered when Connie mentions her BF is missing. At first she is worried about Connie and wants to help her but as soon as Dani talks to Christian she gets so wrapped up in his dismissiveness that she completely forgets about and abandons Connie. If Dani were a more secure and healed person she would noticed the danger they were in. It illustrates how when we are wrapped up in our own pain (or relationship drama) we can sometimes become blind to the suffering of others. Justice for Connie and Simon!
when the echoism section started, I looked at the scale and thought, “yeah, I guess I’m probably at a 6 or 7” and then spent the rest of the video silently sobbing with tears streaming down my face relating to every last word you said about Dani. No slights against me should bother me; panic attacks can always wait until later, when I’m not in public or with friends or family; it’s unacceptable or inappropriate or irresponsible to feel overwhelmed or upset if there is anyone even remotely around me. I used to be able to delay the crying, but now I can’t make it start again when I’m in private. Okay. I think I should probably talk to somebody.
Yes. (Said lovingly)
Second, loving, yes. And...I know exactly how you feel. It's...suffocating. You choke on your feelings because everyone else comes first. I was raised this way by a very Catholic mother and, if I'm being real, it destroyed me and my capacity to form healthy relationships. The whole, "you'll be rewarded later for suffering now" bag of BS. Shit, I remember when my dog died being the one to take care of EVERYTHING and everyone else's emotions, and when I finally had a minute to myself late at night having a mental breakdown in the bathroom alone. That was over a dog, you can imagine how extreme it got during much larger crises.
I spend most of my time alone now because it finally broke. I'm done taking care of everyone when they won't recognize I need caring for too even when I tell them that to their face. This is also an unhealthy way of living, I know that. Therapy will help if you're able to. For me it didn't...hm how do I say this? I'll never be what I consider "ok", but it did help to lower my burning resentment for humanity. A little bit. If you have trouble affording mental health services try calling your state's Dept. of Human Services, Dept. of Health, they sometimes have different names depending; they might be able to hook you up.
I’ve never heard about “panic need” before this video and I thank you for teaching us about it. Its something I’ve done my whole life but never had a name for. When I’m depressed I tend to push people away, but when I’m anxious I need people around me.
This whole video had such a fresh take on midsommar that I’ve never heard before. Thank you as well for your vulnerability, I really hope you can feel a little better soon.
Oh baby. That’s so hard. ❤
@@cassandraunheeded it’s a really scary feeling when it happens, I’m blessed that I have friends and family who are willing to spend time with me and comfort me when I suddenly feel anxious
@@KittyPieVibesIt is insane how much I relate to this. And self-blaming just to reassure myself the relationship's faith is in my hands. I hope you can find peace and comfort one day, either being with your own or surrounded by people around you who love you 😭🫶🏻
The idea of being one-dimensional… I think I’ve grieved a few times now, but my first clearly identifiable experience with grief was the death of my father when I was fresh out of college. My dad was abusive, so I didn’t have a lot of good memories with him. Grieving him didn’t look the way I expected it to, because I couldn’t really miss him. If anything, I knew now that he’d never be able to hurt me again. The thing I remember most about what grief was actually like for me vs what I expected, was the feeling that big parts of *me* were missing or inaccessible. After months, I was almost gaslighting myself - like, I feel like I can remember being funny and quick, but maybe I just made that up?
I can’t explain this sense of self-loss in a logical way. My dad didn’t bring out the best or happiest sides of me, so it’s not that I lost out on those parts of myself without him there to elicit them. I don’t know why I felt like a fractional self.
I did bounce back but I’ve learned that one of the complexities of adulthood is dealing with grieving that overlaps and layers. I was very fortunate that at the time my dad died, most of the rest of my life was pretty steady and uncomplicated. When losses, big and little, follow on each other, you can find yourself in a long-term struggle to be your entire, multidimensional self
Just spitballing here, but maybe your loss of self had to do with suddenly not having him around as an anchor to the trauma you faced in the past at his hands? I don't know if that makes sense, and I hope I'm not overstepping by saying as much, but maybe this can provide a different angle to look at it?
There are different types of grief outside of death that can be just as real and difficult to cope with, so maybe the grief you felt wasn't necessarily because of the loss of him, but the loss of something else that was tethered to him in some way -- whether that something else be a set of important memories, or a piece of your identity, or the foundation of a certain value or worldview you have. When things like those are disturbed, it can lead to a sense that one's self has been disturbed as well. (Speaking only from my own experience, not as any sort of professional, of course.)
Regardless, I wish you all the best and much healing.
My dad is not dead, but he was and still is abusive to me. Alcohol addiction distroyed him and made him behave horribly towards me, my sister and my mom. I moved away 12 years ago, but I allways wondered how I will process the eventuality of his death. I feel like I will not be griveing his actual persona but the time we could've spend together and we didn't got to because of his addiction (my weeding day, my graduations from highschool and university, first job celebration and many more). I feel like im losing a part of me that I will never get back because it was just in my head, my hopes for a better relationship with him. The sadest thing is that sometimes I want to get closer to him but he constantly reminds me when I see him why I pulled away and why I don't visit him so often. Its fing hard loving people that hurt you and the best thing I can do is loving him from a very long distance because I dont want to get hurt anymore.
I feel like I could have written this myself... in fact I had to check, maybe I had forgotten. It almost made me feel guilty, how little I grieved.. the grief for most of us in the family took the shape of 'what a waste' because he was such a talented person, even if he did make everyone miserable. But like you said, part of it felt like a bit of me died too, never feels quite the same
I first saw Midsommar three months before my mom unexpectedly passed away. It became my comfort film as I watched it at least once a week for six months after I lost her. Art that can captivate you and help you process all of the stuff going through your head and emotions is such an important part of the human experience. Fantastic video! 🌼🌸🌺
Watch Heredity.
@@cassandraunheeded It took me a while after that emotionally to watch that one, but I love Hereditary. Midsommar is my favorite though, the cinematography is so breathtaking.
so sorry for the loss of your mom ❤ thank you for starting your experience
this whole video is so profound and compelling. sorry for your loss and also thank you for sharing your journey, I'm genuinely very touched by this new perspective!
I remember for the first time actually looking into what an echoist is. Things made a lot of sense. But even in the moment I thought I found something about myself I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like it can’t be right and I’m just taking something that does not belong to me. This movie showed me things I’m afraid of but even want. I’m horrified of ever being seen as pelle and Christian. And I want to have a bond that Connie and Simon had. Connie could not be convinced that Simon left without her. I hope I secure someone’s trust like that
The word is egoist. You are right on all of this. ❤
@cassandraunheeded They do not mean egoist, it's echoist
@@julijepp it’s egoist. Look it up. 💙
@@cassandraunheeded watch the full video sweetie 🥰✨️ he mentions echoism. Google: Echoism: The Narcissism Response You Haven’t Heard of
By Sarah Fielding
The irony lmfao, thank you for your wise words, follow your own advice.
@@cassandraunheededdid you watch the video? Echoist is the right word, they use it repeatedly throughout the video. Not the same thing as egoist
Danny spends the entire movie not able to portray what she thinks or feels to others, until her emotions and thoughts are dictated by the group.
Christian spends the entire movie not being able to tell Danny what he wants or needs from her, until he physically cant anymore by the group.
Thinking Christian is a narcissist because Danny is an echoist is logical fallacy because to an extreme echoist, normal behaviour is seen as narcissism (and vice versa).
Yeh Christian is a dick but hes also lazy, non confrontational and a coward.
He doesnt force Danny to do anything, but he exploits her weakness to get his way.
If he were a narcissist he wouldve have made Danny and the others do as he says, and would have no issue dumping danny when he got bored. if all that matters and all that exists is you, then why care about what others feel and think of you (friends, family, gf, school, etc).
@@veloc.raptor9136Nah narcissists can be very lazy especially a covert narcissist what you're thinking of what Christian is not is a sociopath/psychopath
@@veloc.raptor9136narcs love feeling bad for themself and blaming the ppl around them for the circumstances the narc created/chooses to stay in
Nothing dictates to Dani.
@@veloc.raptor9136Neither of thin is mentally compromised.
My god, I have the same fear. Everything you said is so close to my experience with this film, except I felt it during my first watch. It must be hard for others to understand when they can’t empathize with Dany. I am so happy you made this. Thank you. I hope this reaches more people, because this message is so important. Thank you
This movie really moved me so much when it came out. And then the love of my life died suddenly and now this film connects with me so much more deeply. There's something about the depth of grief that you can't understand until you've been there. I am definitely going to be reading the books you cited.
Man, I’ve got some reading to do. I always felt really comforted by the scene where the horga women “share” Dani’s grief comforting, too.
Comforted?!? That was some of the creepiest shit in the movie 😂 wow.
@@nightshiftreports3866Right. I’m sure that was the intention. I’m just resonating with his words at 50:00
@@suhendrickson7362 I see what you mean.
Feeling comforted is right.
@@nightshiftreports3866no it wasn’t. It was healthy.
Thank you. Thank you for the courage to make this video. Vulnerability like that, regarding loss, grief and the loss of oneself is honestly unheard of (at least by me) and surprisingly healing.
I have never heard of need panic before watching this video, but I have definitely experienced that in romantic relationships that have gone sour. I have some reflection and reading to do after watching this video. I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time and dealing with grief. I hope this video has been cathartic and helpful for you to make
I have dated too many Christians in my time.
this video really made me confront the time when two of my friends in my friend group who i thought cared about me "forgot" my birthday even when i indirectly pointed it out and never apologised when we had all been wishing happy birthday to each other. they also conveniently happened to be the only people who could not attend my party of close friends. i blamed it on myself entirely and sought to console them and consolidate our friendships, never once considering that they could have been in the wrong. they hurt me, and i searched to justify their actions by searching within.
but i am now beginning to realise that some people just don't have your best interest at heart. some could not care less about you and it's not your job or even within your power to change that without denying or erasing a massive part of yourself.
Yup - it's never good when you have to apologise to people for the hurt they cause you ❤
Sorry for your loss. It's incredible to see someone make such a video, in a such painful situation.
Christian didn’t ’cheat’ on Danny. He was drugged and coerced, which is rape. He was scared and confused and was clearly going along with it out of self-preservation. I think it’s important to conceptualise that moment this way, otherwise it perpetuates harmful ideas about male victims of SA.
Overall though, I really enjoyed this vid. Amazing insights, really well researched and articulated. Love your work!
Agree, switch genders and I would also call it coercion or what's sometimes referred to as 'gray rape', which doesn't deserve to be treated lightly. I felt sorry for Christian's character, probably moreso than any other (besides the lungs-out guy..), but I think because he is kind of an unlikeable character people have a bias toward not seeing him as a victim
When I first watched Midsommar in 2019, I thought it was a fairly well done horror movie. When the Christian to my Dani and I broke up in 2022, I rewatched this movie... and didn't stop.
For 2-3 months, I just played Midsommar on loop. Going to sleep? Midsommar. Showering? Midsommar on my phone outside the shower. Driving? Midsommar was playing through my bluetooth speakers so I could at least hear it. My best friend photoshopped my ex's face onto Christian's face as he's burning in the bear suit (with herself photoshopped as one of the torch bearers, on a humorous note.)
Now, two years later, Im in a much healthier mental space and am in a much healthier relationship, but I'll always be grateful to Midsommar for being the quintessential outlet for my grief when I needed it most, and keeping me from other much worse coping mechanisms. It's amazing how your perspective on a piece of art can change with your life experiences
TLDR: Midsommar kept me from drowning in my grief and my best friend is fantastic at photoshop
What I love about Midsommar is on how many different levels it can be appreciated. As a reflection on grief as you analyze here, but also I have seen beautiful analyses of this movie from the point of view of reflecting the similarly oscillating nature of abusive relationships, breakdowns of the film as an exploration of real world high control group methods and processes of radicalization, discussions of the imagery and symbolism and color theory and cultural resonance of the movie. It is a movie that invites analysis and reflection and provides a rich set of details for the viewer to accomplish that.
I think there's big similarities between Midsommar and Melancholia, in terms of showing grief and depression from the inside, rather than just how they look to other people.
I can never watch Melancholia again because of how real it is. Both sisters in the film demonstrate the depression, anhedonia and also death anxiety I have. I can point to that film and tell someone to watch and it'll explain that kind of mental illness.
@@Aster_Risk - "How can you be depressed when this wedding was so expensive?!"
Melancholia was garbage, Midsommer was not
Other people see nothing.
@@nightshiftreports3866 - That opinion is incorrect.
Your ability to honestly, and intimately, reevaluate not only this film, but yourself, is absolutely...beautiful. Thank you. I actually watched your original video on Midsommer and Hereditary and ended up, kinda "hating" you. When I first watched Midsommer, I, like Dani, had lost everything...what killed me the most, was how (I felt) you entirely missed not only the Hårga's purposeful influence on, but the amplification of the negatives of Dani and Christian's relationship...anyways, when I saw this new upload, I clicked on it with apprehension, and a readiness to be angry...and the complete opposite happened. I applaud you my friend. And I thank you for reminding me to never stop questioning and reevaluating not only my own beliefs, but also my own biases. Be well.
(and not that one "subscription" makes a difference to your channel at this point, but today, you earned mine)
hate it when essayists put a mirror in front of me. The back and fort between asking for esasy stuff and hiding the most painful, while then feeling so guilty that some of the hard stuff spills a little in front of me. I can only think when my gradma died and i went to college to tell my professor i had to leave early to attend the funeral, and actiely rejected people trying to comfort me, or all the times i have said sorryafter getting emotional support for anything... i might have a new perspective for starting therapy again
This movie hit me so hard, my father died and I was in a similar situation with my ex husband it was like parallel. Watching it made me cry so hard. It brought back memories just how Dani and Christian interacted.
My dad had died while I was with my ex husband and it shattered me it broke me, it it weren’t for my dog Athena i probably woulda killed my self tbh.
I think this film’s use of a sort of religious cult to convey this idea of community and servitude to the people around you is absolutely brilliant. I’m an ex-Christian and was raised with the belief that the best thing that I could do as a person was “serve god and serve others.” I think that this sort of ingrained into me echoist behavior from a very young age, and I now find myself having to consciously think about when it’s okay to NOT serve others. I made poor friendships when I left the church with people who exhibited narcissistic behavior because I no longer had a community to serve WITH me. I’m much better now, but I think that this movie spoke to me for that reason, it was like watching my deconstruction process in reverse. Because having a community is BEAUTIFUL and it’s what I miss most about my religion… having a group to fall to my knees and cry with, a common action in the church, was extremely cathartic. But it wasn’t healthy, because I relied too much on servitude as an identity. And when I left, I was serving alone, much like Dani at the beginning of the film. And, much like Dani, I would suppress feelings of grief, guilt, and shame after I left the church because I no longer had a community to “feel broken” with. But I think that the thing you have to learn eventually, at least from my personal experience, is that you are not fundamentally broken or a burden to be shared among a community. You’re just a person with emotions, and you should be allowed to be that, with AND without a group of people to support you. It’s the difference between feeling broken and believing that you fundamentally ARE broken, and I think that echoists often believe that they are fundamentally broken because they have selfish feelings that they are ashamed of (that’s why they try to get away before expressing the feeling) and they don’t want to burden others because they themselves feel burdened when they don’t have a community. I think this is what converts non-religious people into religious people. Because they can share the burden of servitude with a group and express selfishness without FEELING selfish. I hope all of that made sense, it was a bit of a ramble. Midsommar is one of my favorite movies and it really speaks to me as an ex-Christian.
Join the methodist church. Also Isaiah 58 and Matthew 6:6 and Matthew 6:16. Wear a Headcovering only when praying if a woman and dress modestly for both sex. You are not broken as a sinner just a criminal. Judgement is just the court system. Stop making it a big deal. He'll is just jail or prison and the day of Judgement is just a court day. Nothing special. We have that in our regular court system. It's not that big deal.
I was not asking for your opinion.
@@leahp1765Your cult isn't much better than the one depicted in Midsommar.
It has nothing to do with religion, but with family dynamics. Unbalanced parents will have unbalanced kids. My family was not religious, but both my parents were echoists. They poured everything into their first child, and she terrorized the others, so they in turn became echoists. Except my middle sister, who was ignored, and formed a bit of a demanding personality. Ive met all types of Christians. Maybe demonimpnations make a difference. But of course religious leaders want everyone ekse to be altruistic and serve God by serving those religious leaders.
Early to a meeptop video, is this what being a true cinephile is like?
Nah that's jeremy jahns fans. The true cinema buffs are the first to know whether you need to be incoherently drunk or not to enjoy a movie
Patrick Willems fans would disagree
Stop trying
See CZsworld if you want to see the real thing.
i watched your original video a couple years back and truthfully found myself very frustrated with your take on the film. i wanted to write out this lengthy response in the comments but ultimately just clicked off the video and kept my opinion to myself lol. i applaud your ability to reexamine not only your opinions, but also how your life experiences at the time could have blinded you to the nuances of the film and its characters.
i am truly so sorry for your loss. when i watched midsommar for the first time i had lost a family member in which i had a complicated relationship with. i was also trying to leave a toxic relationship that i was incredibly dependent on through out my grieving process. dani’s character resonated with me in a lot of painful and ugly ways. i do think its valid to say that at times both she and christian can feel like caricatures of these echoists/narcissistic archetypes but i don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing because these caricatures are being explored with nuance and the story is about their toxic dynamic. there is also the idea of loss of self that you talk about in the video. all loss requires a grieving process - whether it’s a breakup or death of a loved one or even as simple as a job/opportunity. the world we live in doesn’t give us much space to feel loss safely much less process it. i truly appreciate this video and i feel so seen by it. i hope you have all the love and support you need while processing this loss ❤️
I watched this for a second time, and I can confidently say that this video changed the way I look at myself, and the way I let people treat me. You have inspired me to regain confidence in myself. Thank you.
21:25. In 25 seconds you beautifully captured a defense mechanism that I have been employing my entire life but have never been able to fully comprehend. Before now, I never understood why I would feel humiliated when my negative emotions could be observed and why I would reject any consolation that was offered in favor of a quick escape.
This is going to stay on my mind for a very long time.
I applaud you for making something meaningful out of your recent hardships and thank you for doing so as it has made a positive impact on my life. All the best.
Your ability to self critique and your introspection should be praised. Thankyou for i troducing me to echoism, i felt it helped name things i see inside my own behaviours. This was fantastic beginning to end.
You do not even have to apologize for your former view of the movie--that was okay. And it is fine that you feel differently now. It seems like life changes us but sometimes leaves our views the same. I am so sorry for your time of loss...You seem strong and I think you will find your with through this period! Take care!
I don't think the intensity of grief lessens, you just get better at dealing with it, and the time between two bouts grows. But it's still as intense as in the beginning, in my opinion.
I think you may get something out of the film "You won't be alone". Not so heavy on loss, but heavy on what it is to be human, in its rawest form. Worth A look.
I had no idea that such a thing as an echoist existed, it’s both comforting and upsetting to know something explained my life so well and I had no idea
I really appreciate this video. I enjoyed but didnt agree with your original review, but it was really well made so stuck with your channel. I think part if the reason some people struggle so much to understand this movie is because its very much from a female perspective. She's going through what a lot of women go through, feeling your partner pull away while not being brave enough to set you free. Toxic relationships with men. Actually all of the men except the main guide are really horrible to Dani. And at the same time, the female family members she may have relied upon are dead, and if i remember correctly none of Danis friends are shown in the movie. She's suffering grief in a very male run world, and then suddenly she is whisked away to the place where women arent treated badly by men, they even interact with each other much during the day. She gets to enjoy the sun and get high and eat well and dance and wear flowers without anyone harming her. The scene of the women screaming together always gets me, because I know there are so so many women who need to let their grief out - about misogyny, and about death but they've been unable to, or were forced to grieve alone. Women are expected to be responsible much more than men are, and our emotions more tightly policed.q
I think this is purposely contrasted with sex, which cleverly, is arguably the start of a new life cycle comparatively with death. Its also a place where many women fear harm, or feel unheard. The scene shows female dominance, female joy, female pleasure without fear. Its wonderfully done.
I almost never comment on youtube videos, but this resonated so hard. As someone who has dealt with a mental condition that has driven me into echoism/masking, I loved midsommar and you have effectively summarized every reason why. I very much relate to what you said about them sharing her pain in unison being so weirdly comforting. As disturbed as I was, a small part of me couldn't help but be jealous.
In echoism, even though theres that insane drive to minimize the self, I feel there's always a secret longing for the attention that is pushed away. Like amongst all the self blame, even though I believe it to be true, I pray for people to say what Dani's friend does, "you're valid, you're justified," but the cult takes it to a whole other level. It's validation on crack. People that echo, because they see themselves as incapable of fixing things themselves because of that "brokenness", they long for a hero. A savior. And the cult is that hero.
There's also something to be said about the weird way that individualism values uniqueness and rewards/expects exceptionalism, but inversely punishes those feelings of greatness. As if one is expected to be exceptional while also being humble and making it look effortless to the outside eye.
I can't wait to watch more video essays on your channel
I'm so so sorry for your loss ❤
I watched your other video as soon as it came out and I disagreed with pretty much everything. I don't remember much of it right now (it's been almost 4 years) but I remember starting to write a very angry comment and ending up sobbing in a fetal position screaming into a pillow. Needless to say I never did post the angry comment, but I remember thinking the intense wave of grief that came over me while writing the comment was the thing connecting me to midsommar. I understood that while the movie itself was great, the thing that made me *understand* it was pain - and so I stopped criticizing people who I thought "didn't get it" and instead started wishing they never did end up getting it.
I've not heard the term "echoism" but what you're describing sounds very similar to codependency. What a lovely video, thank you for posting.
I lost my very best friend to suicide a little over two years ago. This video made me weep because I am still grieving and the grief is still as strong as it was when it first happened.
right at the start of this video and i’m relating so hard to how your perspective has changed as you’re going through a personal loss. i connected with this movie immensely when it first came out because of grief and it’s the theme that has consistently stuck out to me in a very visceral way that i had never experienced prior. my sincerest condolences on your loss and i hope that you find healing in time 🧡
I don’t know if you’ve ever read the Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson before, but the Harga remind me a lot of Hill House in the way it’s almost an entity of its own (almost Lovecraftian) and how it essentially absorbs the main character into it, due to the main character’s trauma and lack of familial stability. It certainly helps that HOHH has a lot of lesbian undertones between the main character and her “friend” she has a contentious relationship with, allowing the house to pit the two against each other (much like Dani and Christian)
I loved Hill House, and I loved the Netflix adaptation even more. I really like that feeling of “there’s something more to it” like you’re missing something really important and scary, like there’s a secret symbolism behind the book that only Shirley Jackson knew about, and died before explaining it.
The algorithm has once again brought me to another video analyisis early? You must be doing god's work, my dude. This stuff heals my broken soul
this video put so much in perspective for me. i’ve always loved midsommar but i could never put my finger on why i felt so strongly about it. this explains it all, thank you for all the work and vulnerability you put into this amazing video.
It takes balls to make a whole video essay on something, and then make another to explain how you were wrong. That level of self-awareness and integrity is very admirable.
Is it tho? Because ultimately he can profit from ad revenue from both.
@@messmass2573 Ad revenue is a very bad profit margin for UA-camrs. It's not only pretty low income, but also prone to being constricted by various other factors. For instance, UA-cam can randomly say "this video is demonetized" for no reason, with no hope of getting monetization back without begging on Twitter. This is especially common when talking about horror movies, and mature concepts like death and grief.
Ultimately, I don't see that as a motivation for this. That sounds more like taking this video in the worse possible light to justify a disliking of it imo.
@@10Gpixels I mean, it does come as a occupational hazard. Every job has one, so why UA-camrs didn't shouldn't have one either? After all, they can just voice whatever opinion they have and potentially, sway the public opinion. I just find it it's very easy for UA-camr to take back what they said in the past without so much of consequences. They just need to make a bombastic and controversial take on single topic to garner attention and backpedal their opinion it by appealing it to most popular take.
@@messmass2573 It wouldn't be the first time someone had a publicized bad take on a popular movie. Given the amount of work they did in the first video to make the viewer see from their perspective, I doubt it was done so purely to be controversial. Don't get me wrong, that definitely happens on UA-cam. People rage-bait constantly, but usually rage bait channels refuse to admit it's a bad take to milk more clicks out of more controversial takes in the future.
UA-camrs are just as flawed and normal as the rest of us, so when they hear a convincing argument about something, their opinion is subject to change. Makes sense that if someone has a bad take, that they'd start a discussion that leads to a different viewpoint. When you have a large conversation, where tons of people express their viewpoints, the outcome of the conversation usually ends up with a neutral perspective; hence why it ends up being the "popular take" in the end.
If every person with a bad take who's opinions change after a long discussion were a cynical self-serving hypocrite, we'd all be just as guilty.
What is art if not something to revisit and gain a new understanding of on additional viewings? The first time I saw it in theaters I had never been in a serious adult relationship and I had never experienced true grief beyond losing my childhood dog. I'm now almost 30 and I've been in my first adult relationship for 4 years, and I've experienced the loss of my beloved grandfather who was more like a father to me. My entire family watched him crumble away from pancreatic cancer. Watching this movie is a completely different experience for me now. I loved it then but I have an even deeper appreciation for it now. I made my partner watch it with me at the beginning of the relationship kindof as a test to see how he'd react and he loved it. We watch it every year and dressed up as Dani and Christian for Halloween 🤣 he's nothing like Christian though, but I have been in a cult before so 🤷🏼♀️
My father died from brain cancer almost a year ago this month and my mother, who was my best friend passed 3 months ago from a random aneurysm. My father wasn’t a great guy, but I loved him the same. My mother was my hero and best friend. I find my self hating the world now. I haven’t gone to work in a month. I’ve lost weight. I smoke cigarettes non stop. I feel anger and sometimes I wake up crying. I can’t listen to my mom’s voice or watch videos of her. I’m surrounded by her things. I can’t enter one room in my house now because it’s become just a place for her things now. I don’t understand why something so cruel happened to such a wonderful woman. Life is hard. Tell the people you love, you love them. That’s one thing I find comfort in. I knew I was loved and cared for by my parents. I want them back. I’m only 37. I’ve got a long road ahead and I have to walk it without the people who brought me into the world. Grief is scary.
This video.. Is taking my words away. This video is a masterpiece. Your brain is a masterpiece. This right here is the most insightful stuff I have seen in a long time, well heard as I listen to videos mostly during my Tale in the deserting.
But as I am a Danni (or how was it spelled), a girl that has lost her family in a slow painful way, is constantly losing herself into other people's needs, axious, depressed and unable to find her voice up to the point that I am really losing my voice for some reason, I really see the logic and parallels in the movie as you stated them. And it is great to have two interpretations of this piece as it has the basic surface story and the deeper red thread under it all. And it is important to see the differences between the two.
I am a quiet BPD, but very much an echoist and my spouse is much like the opposite of me, only kind and caring. Every bit of your analysis is spot on, to the movie and the experience of myself and I'm somewhat saddened I missed out of most of the same realizations as I mostly fixed on those "that's not Swedish" details. I still do think that if they had put in a bit more work and brought in basic cultural behavior like removing shoes by the door, leaving doors unclosed considered impolite etc. it would have been even more exotic and culty to US audiences. And maybe we Finns would have seen more of the intended bits instead of the details of cultural norms missing.
And the bit about her grief being amplified by the whole womanfolk, I did find that disturbing but not because it was weird, I found it disturbing because the idea of me releasing my grief feels dangerous and horrifying. That is the monster under my bed, raw emotion not contained.
I don't know if it's the universe, or fate, or whatever, but I'm actually going into outpatient therapy in two days for suppressing my mother's tragic death for a year and a half. I had a "need panic" episode. Literally. This video came out literally JUST in time for my outpatient therapy. I've never even heard of echoism, and now I know why I clung to Dani as an "omg so me" character. And I've always had a direct drag to feel like I'm narcissistic but in a self loathing way? And now there's a word for it? And I found out through your new midsommar video two days before I get my life together? Insane. I'm showing this to my outpatient therapist I'll let yall know how it goes
I'm sorry for your loss. I think processing grief through creativity is one of the best ways to heal and learn. I know I'm just a random commenter but the profound shift in perspective that you've experienced is a big step toward breaking unhealthy cycles. It's going to be okay. I loved this video essay and best of luck to you.
You have no idea how inspiring it is to see someone showing this kind of self-awareness and growth in this crappy crappy time for the world. I really hope you have a great year in the wake of whatever you've been going through. As for your last questions, as someone who's made some serious mistakes and made some serious progress... no, you're doing exactly the right thing here. Keep talking.
oh... so thats what I've been overcoming, echoism
fuck-
HOLY SHIT THIS VIDEO IS TOO REAL STOP
Egoism. See earlier. ❤
that end about wanting to be part of the cult. i remember i watched the Hagas almost transfixed in their sense of community, looking at my boyfriedn and saying "i would be so vulnerable to a cult"
@@maca76 good job.
I think that's the thing that really makes this film so polarizing. Unless you have high empathy (which the film itself exploits), it's difficult to understand 1) why Danny would stay with an abuser, and 2) why she would embrace the hårga so much.
I've been in an abusive relationship when I had no other support system. None. No family, no friends. When I first saw Midsommar, I was emotionally drained, but I knew it was one of the best films I had ever watched. Ari clearly understands people like me, and Dani by proxy.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so, so sorry.
Ari Aster understands grief and loss so well. His films have been huge for me, too, after suffering loss and grief in my own life. I hope that you are able to move through your grief- it is one of the hardest processes to go through in the world. May you carry it with strength.
I hope this video reaches more people. The analysis on how grief and isolation are portrayed in the film made me feel seen and I know it will for others too. Great video and thanks for showing us the dual model for grieving that was very interesting.
I think this is a lesson in trying to understand and appreciate art even when you don’t relate to it, glad you revisited it and had your perspective changed and I’m looking forward to see how this introspective look will affect/change the way you view and critique media in the future.
Thank you for sharing with us about your life. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a lot right now, but I know it'll get easier.
A person cannot understand grief until they have lost someone they love.
I was 27 when I lost my grandmother. I'm 54 now.: "Grief changes shape, but it never ends" - Keanu Reeves.
i interpreted the ending as dani feeling the loss of christian and her last tie to the outside world. with him gone, much as he was not an ideal partner, he still kept her connected to the world outside, to herself and to the reality she had always known. With him gone all of that is lost. as someone that has been in a toxic relationship, that i had trouble leaving for the longest time because i felt i didn't want to lose the part of me that was connected to the world and other people, i really felt her loss in teh last moments
She was smiling and I think, glad to lose him. It IS a breakup movie.
@@cassandraunheeded i interpreted it as a grimace
@@pssurvivor it was a smile. Watch it again. 💖
First, I'm very sorry for what you're going through and I find it incredibly powerful that you managed to communicate your healing process (not to mention your darkest fears) through your re-evaluation of this film. Second, you just gained yourself a follower. You narrate your thought process so soothingly 🤍
I don’t think a UA-cam video has ever affected me this much. Your vulnerability in this video was eye opening. You’re extremely talented, I can’t wait for your next video
Thank you for this video and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this grief, I hope it eases soon. When you have the time I'd be really interested in your take on Beau is Afraid! I left the theater feeling like Aster had been playing a mean prank.
10/10 work my man. Cried multiple times listening to your commentary. It’s always comforting to know there’s someone feeling what you are.
Beautiful video, thank you for introducing me, and so many others, to the concept of echoism. I think it’s going to help a lot of people to understand themselves better. I hope you have a great support system to help you through your grieving process. Take care, and remember that you can’t help anyone unless you help yourself first.
I'd like to thank you, because I'm currently writing a paper to graduate from Visual Arts, and this video just helped me a lot to resume what I am trying to say with my project. I have been trying to explain this dicotomy of the collective nature of plants and our current human society. In the process, I have realized I sound a bit like I'm part of a cult when I talk about hyper-individualism and It's effects on us, and now I see It's because I have been ignoring the extreme opposite of it.
I also loved the self-psychoanalisis of it all, since as a visual artist, a lot of my own feelings and thoughts get to influence every fixation and themes I put in my work. Great work! Loved it.
It's such a great video essay. I'm glad you've managed to see it from a different angle, but I'm so sorry you had to experience something painful to rethink it.
I love this film precisely because it goes deeper and deeper the more you think about it. I understood Dani right away, but Christian was an interesting case for me. At first I thought he was just a jerk, but then I've started to realise he's more than that. While still a jerk, he's also... Kinda trapped? He was ready to break up with Dani, but then she calls him in hysterics because her whole family died. And he sits there with her (btw he doesn't leave her alone even if he's a jerk) and knows he can't break up with her now because who knows what she'll do. And while he tries to think of her in this respect, the bitterness from not getting free from her makes him, I think, worse than he was. He's frustrated, he's thinking too much, he's becoming unstable. This is exactly why the cult shenanigans even work on him
Never liked showing emotions for reasons. Ex told me that they felt I didnt care or hated them if I didnt show them my emotions. Asked me to talk to them about them.
Later told me the reason they were avoiding & cheating on me was because I 'heaped all my emotions and problems' on them after 11 years together.
hi meeptop, firstly, I want to wish you peace as the grief is eternal and time only heals so well.
when I first saw Midsommar, I had just lost my older brother. I've only seen the movie once because the emotions it brought out in me were so intense and I wasn't ready to feel that. my relationship with my boyfriend was just in the beginning and I was deeply insecure about myself which made me feel insecure in my relationship. so basically, I had just started dating this guy that I didn't want to lose and now I feel like I could overwhelm him with how I deal with the death of my brother. right off the bat, I relate to Dani and see too much of myself in her. I felt like I was behaving in such a similar way but she was grieving better than me, she can cry and express her feelings; even if she denies help from others, at least she can feel what she is going through, while I still feel like I may see my brother one day. when I have dreams of him, I know something is wrong and that he shouldn't be there but I am just so happy to have any time with him. to lighten the mood (maybe?), I know my brother would have loved Ari Aster.
Thank you for this video. Midsommar has been my favorite movie since it released. But I didn't truly understand it until watching it after my husband suddenly and tragically passed at 27 years old. I've never seen a film truly make me feel seen in how I expressed my grief. Thank you for this analysis. I felt so seen just hearing you speak about the film and briefly about your own experiences. I'm so so sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find healing in the ways that you need to find it. Thank you
to be real i bounced off your channel HARD initially because of the original video - this movie resonated really deeply with me for a lot of the reasons you outlined here, and this was a really insightful watch that helped me connect some of those dots. happy this hit my recommends
I'm very sorry that you've had to experience a loss that made it possible for you to see this film in a different light, but I'm glad that you were able to experience it as a well told and relatable story of grief.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given how new you say the concept is, I'd never heard of echoism before this video. It's something I believe describes me, though I've thankfully been able to make great strides in dealing with over the years through introspection despite not actually understand what it was entirely. I think that characteristic of Danni's is what made me so attached to Midsommar the first time I saw it. I was lucky enough to catch it in theaters, which happened to be about a year and a half after my own very beloved sister's suicide, and I had been in a relationship at that time that, while it wasn't anywhere near as toxic as the one in the film, it was pretty equally unhelpful in the grieving process. Danni's grief is so perfectly captured, and it resonated with me so much that I really don't think I would have understood if I hadn't experienced that same grief and lack of ability to handle it in a healthy way.
Midsommar spoke to me in a way that no one else could after my sister committed s**ide. When she died, it was like the entire world stopped for me and my family and we all tackled the grief of it in all different ways- no one was good or bad, we were all just trying to get through it but I remember feeling like I was the only one drowning and my friends and family were just watching me and even though they were trying to give me words of encouragement and be there for me, it felt more like they were just watching me drown. Midsommar came out literally a month before my sister passed and I remember that I loved the movie, but it hadn't been relatable, and then after my sister passed- I watched that movie again with such a clarity as I had never had. The scene when she was screaming at the beginning was literally how I felt most days and to see that one screen was so cathartic. Finally- someone was saying what I was feeling and I remember I defended the shit out of that movie to everyone because they just didn't get it- that movie was saying everything I was feeling and more.
this is extremely profound and well articulated, genuinely a piece of art. im really grateful i got this insight into your grief, in many ways its made me very rapidly make sense of mine. keep making great content!!!!!
Dude, this is amazing.i feel what you feel, and i know it may not be the same magnitude, but i understand how you feel. I feel so lost and as if i am not a person, unless i am interacting with people i love. But i seclude myself. i dont know what to do most of the time.
im new to your channel and haven't seen the previous video, but i can feel the emotional growth in your words all the same. thank you for making this video, and thank you also for giving me 2 new books to read!
This video rules. I wish more critics would treat their older work less like an irrelevant shame and more of a building block for more nuanced arguments. We're all learning and growing: that's one of the most exciting parts of analyzing art!
Thank you for this. I was going through the process when you made your last video. I am so sorry that you are going through it now
I've been grieving a loss for the first time and I think back to this movie and Dani's reactions. Like when you're doing everything to distract yourself but one reminder, one mention crumbled you. The empty void feeling she clearly carries around with her. It's the best and most accurate portrayal I've ever seen of grief, I can deeply understand her now even when my loss isn't as big as hers.
I loved this analysis, it speaks to me in my own experience with emotions and grief. I hope you are doing well and wish you the best on your journey ❤❤❤
They do the ceremony like every 70-90 years something like that, so no, his parents wouldn't have been sacrifices in the same ceremony leading him to know that she would be the perfect target. However her vulnerability would make her an easy target either way.
In short words, we could not see more about who Dani was before because whoever Dani was before her parents and sister died, metaphorically died with them too.
Another thing is that Dani feels "survivors guilt" she think she may have done something to trigger this to happen, and she is probably so sad that she didn't died with her family.
As an autistic this is hell, I want to do things by myself in my own because is easier for me to keep with the shit I do, when am expected to do things with others my body and brain are confused because I don't interpret information the same way others do...and when it shows and people would make me feel like am a problem that needs to be fixed and I will obviously defend myself and try to go on my own and they don't want that, at the end is either am not longer a part of it or am a part of it but I have to mask and deal with it and is exhausting.
Individualism is bad because in this society where your value as a person is your success, am screwed from the start. I never had any "ambition" "dream" "goal" or "purpose" so I don't understand why people look down on me a lot, I just know it feel so dehumanizing so I tried to do what they do to get respect and recognition but I just overworking myself and crying alone and that is when the thought of end it all comes to mind.
When I realize am broken, broken because I feels like I was not made for this life, I cannot thrive in any kind of civilization presented here: individualism or collectivism.
Absolutely love this video and I'm so sorry for your loss hope you're doing okay❤
I think... I'm an echoist...? The flatly refusing emotional vulnerability/intimacy and actively suppressing big emotions until out of view of others, the spiraling panic when I realize I *do* need support, thinking that me needing other people's help/support is a moral failing but it's completely okay for others. I apologize and try to "shut it down" when I start crying in front of people regardless of who it is and why I'm crying. Holy guacamole I didn't realize there was a name for it. Explains so many of my past relationships/friendships and why I have trouble maintaining them. I should probably get therapy or something cuz I know it's not good but idk how to stop being like that.
This was a lot to take in, but the universe is weird. I really needed to watch this today.
you absolutely must make the beau is afraid video (beautiful analysis, good luck to you in your grieving and healing✨)
Great video and I hope you feel better dude.
Beau still clears
Never has a movie scene affected me in the way that the scene of Dani’s sister and parents being unalived in the way that they were, followed by the guttural, genuine way she cried. Oofff. Some of that movie will never leave my brain
imagine all the youtuber that eventually passing through the process of growing up, taking a step back and correcting their reviews
I watched midsommer back when it first came out and it had such a strong hold on me. I found myself thinking about it again and again, mostly because of a connection I felt with Danny. I watched it again and then I watched/read some analyses and discourse on it (including your original video) to try and process my feelings about it.
I just want to say that this particular revisit video has been the best one I've seen so far on the subject of this movie and psychology of the characters. I'm sorry for your loss, and I thank you for making this video essay, I needed to hear a lot of this.
I have yet to actually lose anyone close to me due to death, but I am constantly grieving. I have death anxiety and other mental illness issues that are essentially similar to grieving. I am so terrified of losing family and not existing one day, that I've had panic attacks about it multiple times a week for 23 years. I go through those stages of grief over and over every time my brain remembers that my loved ones and I will cease to exist one day. I just won't be conscious and I can't comprehend it and it sends me into a fucking panic. The breakdowns and panic Dani had terrified me, because they are so familiar to my behavior. I'm worried about watching this movie again, because it was definitely triggering the one time I watched it.
Losing a partner is the loneliest kind of grief.
This video was incredible mate, all the best to you and I'll be keeping an eye for future uploads🙏🏻