The Philosopher This reminds me of Robin Hood: Men in Tights and I quote: "maybe if you deliver the bad news in a good way, it wouldn't sound so badly"
If you want a letter you might want to stop confusing people by calling yourself Kristina when your name is Evelina. And maybe find a better platform than UA-cam comments, where the only result is that someone like me with too much time on their hands and an impatient streak might give in to the temptation to make fun of you.
"I'm a New Yorker", he said. "I represent New York spirit", he said. And then compares his rating with 9/11 and calls it an advantage. What kind of sick [unintelligible] is this guy.
"If I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more." I feel sorry for whoever had to write down the transcript for that interview. You know he probably killed himself afterward.
PiantaBroker So what he compared Hitler? I am not a fan of Spicer or the Trump administration however I don't understand thr big fuss about Spicer comparing the two? Either way it's terrible so stop being so sensitive about Hitler's work vs Assads. (That is if it really waa Assad)
"So we will build the wall or not, Starting today or tomorrow, when today will be yesterday, So technically we have already started. What were we talking about?" I was so dead
Danny Pena Woah, calm down. Everyone should be able to coexist. And, by the way, liberals are not ruining the media. Trump banned media outlets, and the media is about free speech, so isn't he technically ruining the media?
Liberals mess things up? Based on the research, when right-wing people with high authoritarian qualities are in charge, they look out for themselves, and go on the attack, instead of cooperating with others, and figuring out how to improve the quality of everyone's life. Go figure. It's all inside the book within the link below. Here it is --> theauthoritarians.org
To be fair the (unintelligible) parts were apparently people talking over him. Though, to be fair again, much of what we can read is not very intelligible.
"When I said 100 days, I was clearly referring to 100 days on Venus, where each day is the equivalent of 243 Earth days. So really, I have another 24,000 or so Earth days to make my promises a reality, and -- believe me -- I can make that happen. Except healthcare -- geezus that's a bitch. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get back to coming up with more mind-boggling legislation, like making it totally legal for rich people to shoot poor people for sport (unintelligible)." -- _President Donald J. Trump_
+Jojen True. But in this case, he hired someone smarter than him to write it -- someone who can speak in complete sentences. In other words... a 5th grader.
fidorover Great impression, that pretty much sums up the kind of crap that comes out of his mouth. But for authenticity you're going to have to use a smaller vocabulary, repeat adjectives, and change your thoughts mid-sentence. 😉 Maybe add a couple unintelligible's in there too.
He is just working his ass off! Well he would, if he would know how to actually work. But he doesn't so he is done with all he knows about working within a couple of minutes. Then he can watch TV or tweet or play golf. But to be fair, nobody in the entire world knew, that working is hard or (unintelligable).
While the ratings compared to 9/11 is not dumbest thing he has said, it is definitely one of the most disrespectful. Considering he campaigned claiming that Muslims cheered and that he lost many friends on 9/11 before, and now is comparing the ratings about an event where thousands of Ameircans died to his job as President is disrespectful to them and their families. If he truly cared about being President, then ratings shouldn't matter so long as he does the right things for America, which is something that Obama, Bush, Clinton, and pretty much every President in the last 50 years has said in some form.
Trust me - EVERYONE in europe is "seeing" this.. - We're all excited, that the US will be a third world country soon - that makes space at the top for some one else
***** im not sure Trump is actually even in charge though. He clearly ran for president just for the sake of jerking off his own ego. Now it doesn't matter what anyone says he can always say,'Screw you I was president!'. I get the feeling he rambles the way he does because he's just trying to go through the motions and keep up appearances while Pence and his buddies find new things for him to sign.
I agree - and be honest - does that change anything in my statement? EPA gone, Paris Accord gone, Flightsecurity gone, Education (soon) gone, deregulating banking, now soon a surely helpfull tax reform - hmm - I think you can say, Pence is doing a "great" job.. - good luck to all americans - europe will have to send food-packs for you once they are done with you guys - well, only if it's allowed to feed the inmates of a for profit prison of course.. - europe never violates the laws of dictarships abroad lol
Reminds me of Eric Cartman so much. He trashed the former president, gets elected, then cries because 1) it's not as easy as he thought, 2) people are mean to him. What goes around comes around, my friend.
Morty Sanchez Scam charity, scam school, scam real estate... but that's not important. The important thing is that he doesn't know what he's doing and refuses to take advice or get help (probably cause 90% of the people he chose don't know what their doing either). Look at Ben Carson. Now the surgeon general just got let go. Hmmm, who would be good choice to replace him? A smart guy would say, Surgeon Ben Carson, you get a token black guy and put him in a position where he knows what he's doing. But nope, just keep him in charge of HUD, where he has no experience. He'll probably fill the SG position with some rich faith healer who doesn't believe in western medicine. I'm starting to think he thinks that's what it means to "drain the swamp", firing people who know and have experience in the field and replacing them with people who have none. He should change it from "drain the swamp" to "let the blind lead the blind".
i don't feel even a bit of chemistry between them. even reggie who doesn't speak has a better reaction with corden's monologue than jon. it looks like he is just making noises for attention even though he doesn't understand the topic.
Docson7 of course all of Jon's comments are (unintelligible) to u, your ears r all clogged up with hate..... I luv that he irritates the sh*t out of all the haters😂😂!
"And if I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more." My God. What the actual fuck did we elect into the White House. I still can't believe this is what I just read. His speaking skills are literally on a 3rd grade level.
Noah Vanmullekom That's a pretty huge assumption. I'll need actual evidence of him having an advance debate on issues in which he uses 3 syllable words other than tremendous. Also this needs to be prior to the election obviously.
Noah Vanmullekom I also don't like the fact that no matter what this guy does, he always has people around to wipe his ass and make excuses for him. "Oh, he doesn't mean a physical wall. It's metaphor for improving border security." "He didn't mean all Mexicans were rapist, just the illegal ones." "It was just locker room talk. He wasn't actually bragging about forcing himself on married women." "He didn't really mean healthcare for everyone." "He didn't really mean Obama wiretapped him." If Trump shot a guy tomorrow his supporters response would be "he wasn't really trying to kill the guy. He was going Quail hunting in the city and it just happenedto fly behind the guy's head. Stop blaming Trump for everything libtards!"
American dreamer: until trump got elected? Our country was already in deep shit when it came down to Hilary or trump for president. Neither has the ability to fix our national debt that Obama tripled in his 8 years as president. People are so scared now that trump is president. You should have already been scared when it came down to those two. You think Hilary would have done better? They were both terrible choices.
It's a dark and sad period of ALL human history. If aliens see this stupid shit from the orbit, they'll be like "Fuck them idiots, they will make us look bad in front of the Galactic Federation, if we ever make contact with those asinine cocksuckers!"
No action... What do you call dropping the LARGEST non nuclear bomb in Afghanistan, and firing missles into Syria?No action my ass. Trump has done more to protect our nation from terrorism in 100 days than Obama did in 8 years!!!
Semper Fi mmmm not really droping a bomb is not that big of a deal. nit sure ethier if he even was conected to the bombing ethier you know he was busy.
Semper Fi the airstrike was a smokescreen...unless you think 59 tomahawk cruise missiles all missed critical targets. The MOAB might be impressive...but islamic terrorists blow themselves up as walking warheads. They may cook that bombing into recruiting propaganda for new agents. I fear for our troops given orders by their current CinC.
This guy has been given so much material since Trump got in, his comedy just continues to write itself since the campaign. If Trump ever leaves office, its not going to be so easy anymore! :-D
'Bringing Back Jobs'? What jobs? 'Drafted Plan to Defeat ISIS'? What plan? 'Ended War On Coal'? What is this, the Victorian era? When we're living in the age where finding renewable sources of energy is imperative, why do we need to go back to coal?
I don't know if you believe the 'official' unemployment thing blow 5% but the actual number is just under 10% because obama's numbers doesn't include people who have stopped working entirely and just go off of welfare because technically the income is federal income just like a guy working a government job.
aquamop15 -Coal is dead and you fucking know it. The rest of the world has found better alternatives. It's not our fault we don't want to be stuck in the 1950s. Coal country doesn't even have the same profit value it once did in the past. -A lot of these "jobs" you're talking about have been in the works for months now, and some for up to a year. Jobs don't fall from the sky. Even that Exxon ad that keeps playing is a complete lie to say they just decided to add more jobs since Trump took office. There's an article from months ago, talking about how they were working towards getting more positions open for people.
> Gutted regulations > basically means allowing corporations to dump massive watse not following environment-safe business practices, thus poisoning Americans literally. > is an accomplishment. What?
Is Stephen Colbert the King of Late Night? Because if he's not, this one monologue, not taking into account all his other great work as I'm sure he has quite the plethora, should cement him as such!
he is! in fact, Fallon's tonight show remained apolitical until they realized they couldn't compete with Colbert without getting political like Colbert, so now Fallon is doing Trump jokes in his monologues too.
He thinks the number of viewers his tv appereances attract is the right way to judge the effectivenes of his policies? That's a joke, right? Tell me it's a joke...
As some1 from a border state, I just want to say that it was reported that no Congressman or Senator (Democrat or Republican) from the 4 border states will support the vote for the border wall, and an article shows that the states that want the wall the most are almost all landlocked states. Here's 4 main reasons why the border wall won't work/is not worth the money hence why border state politicians don't support it: 1) Odds are that if the U.S. ends up paying for it, we will have to pay more for it now and more than likely our states will pay additional taxes for repairs, upkeep, and security which other states won't. 2) More immigrants from Mexico are returning home than entering the U.S. since their economy is growing so building a wall will make it hard for them to leave the country, and even those that do keep coming all they need are tunnels and boats to get around it. 3) Back when George Bush Jr. initiated a plan to build a fence, only 1/3 of the 1,900 miles got fenced because the border isn't just flat terrain for the entire distance; there are mountains, rivers (Rio Grande), desert, the occasional forest, and the California fault line, all of which make building any significant structure nearly impossible in those areas. 4) 1 article online said the current border wall plan would be for the government to close off/take all land owned within 10 miles of the wall on both sides of the border and prevent any future development to better guard the border, but with many cities (San Diego and El Paso for example) so close to the border, millions would lose their homes/jobs and would be displaced. So, ultimately, when you look at the facts for possibility of success and consider how this border wall would hurt Americans/the American economy, it is not worth it.
James Burlingham Other than violate the emoluments clause, nepotism laws, and the tenth amendment? Oh, and various commissions of fraud, bribery, and obstruction of justice?
You do realize that Bush is an incredibly intelligent man? He just doesn't do speeches and interviews well. If you looked at all into his background you'd refrain from making comments that take away from the point you're trying to make.
I KNOW. I've been thinking that this whole time. The Bush/Gore election was the first one I could vote in. That was a disappointing introduction into the world of politics. However, even though it didn't turn out the way I'd hoped, I clearly remember not thinking we were in danger of nuclear war and that we were in real danger of bigotry becoming fashionable again. I never thought I'd live to see the day Bush wasn't the worst president of my lifetime! Hell, I'd vote Bush back in to get this guy out.
what are you so afraid of happening? putting people back to work? having war? good grief what do u want to happen? walk over to an islamic terrorist and hand him flowers and sing kumbaya? they would shoot your stupid ass and keep walking.
camelshit what do u want? and hand out? you are pathetic. get your lazy body off the couch and get to work. but u still haven't answered my question: why are you libs so afraid? losing a check every month? and in response to you stupid comment "going to lose a war". you are just a naive as you are ignorant. we cannot sit around and do nothing. we had 8 yrs of an embarrassment and he did nothing but line his own pockets. meanwhile our enemies grew stronger and we still sat back and did nothing. we needed someone to actually put fear in our enemies not say: oh are you okay; here is some money try again. it's no wonder why our debt has more than doubled since obama left because he kept giving it away to our enemies.
aquamop15 The supreme Court Justice was supposed to be appointed during Obama's era but Republican blocked him. How does gutting Obama's era regulations are good thing when it will caused pollution and Wall Street screwing people? There never was war on coal. More immigrants were moving out of US than moving in. HAHAHA when Obama signed EO, Republican called him dictator but when Trump did it, it's an accomplishment?? LMAO. you know what people called that? Hypocrite!
Republicans looked at Bush Jr. and Palin and thought, "they know too much English."
Eric Ling Hahahaha
Eric Ling a trend in the types of clowns the republicans will march forward
Jesus the comment section is on fire on this video. Fuckin hilariously!!
Eric Ling ha haaa haaaaaaa! Good one 😅
TheRaellz So you thought of lies?
100 days is how long it takes for Tiffany Trump to get a call back from her dad.
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon great comment and amen!!
+MissArtSucker Halle-fucking-lujah!
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon 👍
*Family values!*
Obviously. She's not the hot one.
It is always nice to receive bad news in a funny way...
The Philosopher This reminds me of Robin Hood: Men in Tights and I quote: "maybe if you deliver the bad news in a good way, it wouldn't sound so badly"
I love that we can all still manage to find laughter in America's final days. Thanks Stephen
Make America super-duper, higher, better, better again!
Yeah! Russia's doing Nuclear and America's Nuclear is old and tired!...And Putin's Nuclear is...TIPPY TOP FROM WHAT I HEAR!
After reading this comment, I cannot be held responsible for the sounds coming out of my mouth.
If you're a Trump fan why are you here? Don't you have a disabled kid to go beat up or something?
Lisa P. Those were Democrat yutes up in Detroit....
(Unintelligible)
"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask gabbledfghabkenu"
- John F Kennedy
If you want a letter you might want to stop confusing people by calling yourself Kristina when your name is Evelina. And maybe find a better platform than UA-cam comments, where the only result is that someone like me with too much time on their hands and an impatient streak might give in to the temptation to make fun of you.
"I'm a New Yorker", he said. "I represent New York spirit", he said. And then compares his rating with 9/11 and calls it an advantage. What kind of sick [unintelligible] is this guy.
It makes me ashamed to be from NY. Hell it makes me ashamed to be from the US at all! Sorry "America" is what they call it nowadays.
倪传历 Don't forget he once called it 7/11
7/11? wow. I'm curious to know when did he say that? As a non-american, I can assure you, everyone in this world including infants know about 9/11.
Trump represents NY spirit as well as diarrhea represents holidays...
Guillermo St Celebrate President's Day by taking a massive Trump!
"If I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more."
I feel sorry for whoever had to write down the transcript for that interview. You know he probably killed himself afterward.
the way Stephen sounds when reading Trump's tweets, that shit hilarious...😂😂😂
Sweeper13i I was just listening to that part as I read this comment. 😂
Holy crap, Sean Spicer compares Hitler, and now Trump compares 911. Just wow.
PiantaBroker I'm sure your comment would gain greater traction if it wasn't for the fact that everyones surprised face was super good good tired.
true
PiantaBroker
So what he compared Hitler? I am not a fan of Spicer or the Trump administration however I don't understand thr big fuss about Spicer comparing the two? Either way it's terrible so stop being so sensitive about Hitler's work vs Assads. (That is if it really waa Assad)
never get tired of Colbert roasting Trump with his own words
Larry Scary Um, you could've just written the word "unintelligible" as your comment. :p
#BuildASentence
Jose Pineda go home!
Jose Pineda Because your a sheep and like to have your opinions guided by morons.
shut the fuck up dana
"So we will build the wall or not, Starting today or tomorrow, when today will be yesterday, So technically we have already started. What were we talking about?" I was so dead
😂😂
I swear hearing Obama yesterday speaking was a relief ..
Modou Bajaha it's like a beam of sunlight in a universe of darkness...
Impala 67 made me realize how low of an IQ trump has and his followers , trump voters are regretting everything!!
Everything about Trump is fake and insane. I don't think that's even a real signature at 3:17 .... looks like gibberish.
if Obama spoke the same way Trump does, he would have been laughed out of office.
Beau Ioannides If Obama spoke like Trump does, he would have gotten lynched
"(unintelligible)" - Trump, 2017
Please run for office next time Mr. Intelligible.
Danny Pena Woah, calm down. Everyone should be able to coexist. And, by the way, liberals are not ruining the media. Trump banned media outlets, and the media is about free speech, so isn't he technically ruining the media?
Liberals mess things up? Based on the research, when right-wing people with high authoritarian qualities are in charge, they look out for themselves, and go on the attack, instead of cooperating with others, and figuring out how to improve the quality of everyone's life. Go figure. It's all inside the book within the link below. Here it is --> theauthoritarians.org
To be fair the (unintelligible) parts were apparently people talking over him. Though, to be fair again, much of what we can read is not very intelligible.
CEOofFRESH1
So Trump is a Liberal?
"When I said 100 days, I was clearly referring to 100 days on Venus, where each day is the equivalent of 243 Earth days. So really, I have another 24,000 or so Earth days to make my promises a reality, and -- believe me -- I can make that happen. Except healthcare -- geezus that's a bitch. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get back to coming up with more mind-boggling legislation, like making it totally legal for rich people to shoot poor people for sport (unintelligible)."
-- _President Donald J. Trump_
a W for you.
fidorover Hes not that smart, he wouldn't know all that info
fidorover that's actually what I expect Spicer's argument to be when he's asked about the first 100 days at the next press conference
+Jojen True. But in this case, he hired someone smarter than him to write it -- someone who can speak in complete sentences. In other words... a 5th grader.
fidorover Great impression, that pretty much sums up the kind of crap that comes out of his mouth. But for authenticity you're going to have to use a smaller vocabulary, repeat adjectives, and change your thoughts mid-sentence. 😉 Maybe add a couple unintelligible's in there too.
unintelligible & *unintelligent* 😂😂
#facts
princess
What defeats a super-duper higher better better wall?
A) ladder
B) tunnel
C) work visas
D) going around
E) all the above
TheBig Phenom Boats........Mexico & California are on the ocean, after all.
TheBig Phenom Planes
TheBig Phenom dont forget ropes
100 days in office. But only 3 days actually in the office. . .
Curt Randall lmao
hahhahaha - Darn straight!
Curt Randall that's a good thing. He has no idea what to do.
He is just working his ass off! Well he would, if he would know how to actually work. But he doesn't so he is done with all he knows about working within a couple of minutes. Then he can watch TV or tweet or play golf. But to be fair, nobody in the entire world knew, that working is hard or (unintelligable).
While the ratings compared to 9/11 is not dumbest thing he has said, it is definitely one of the most disrespectful. Considering he campaigned claiming that Muslims cheered and that he lost many friends on 9/11 before, and now is comparing the ratings about an event where thousands of Ameircans died to his job as President is disrespectful to them and their families. If he truly cared about being President, then ratings shouldn't matter so long as he does the right things for America, which is something that Obama, Bush, Clinton, and pretty much every President in the last 50 years has said in some form.
so then you support the electoral college.
Push the limits. Outstanding job Steven.
'Super duper higher better' LMAO holy christ, is...is NOBODY else seeing this? This is actually happening ffs....
I feel u Locust VII! It's so unbelievable.....this is the FUCKING POTUS and that man talks like a 8 year old brat!
Trust me - EVERYONE in europe is "seeing" this.. - We're all excited, that the US will be a third world country soon - that makes space at the top for some one else
***** im not sure Trump is actually even in charge though. He clearly ran for president just for the sake of jerking off his own ego. Now it doesn't matter what anyone says he can always say,'Screw you I was president!'. I get the feeling he rambles the way he does because he's just trying to go through the motions and keep up appearances while Pence and his buddies find new things for him to sign.
I agree - and be honest - does that change anything in my statement? EPA gone, Paris Accord gone, Flightsecurity gone, Education (soon) gone, deregulating banking, now soon a surely helpfull tax reform - hmm - I think you can say, Pence is doing a "great" job.. - good luck to all americans - europe will have to send food-packs for you once they are done with you guys - well, only if it's allowed to feed the inmates of a for profit prison of course.. - europe never violates the laws of dictarships abroad lol
***** Oh You! You got me there.
Reminds me of Eric Cartman so much. He trashed the former president, gets elected, then cries because 1) it's not as easy as he thought, 2) people are mean to him. What goes around comes around, my friend.
tigresuave11
absolutely... just a horrible human being
he ran a scam charity
what kind of evil person does that?
Morty Sanchez Scam charity, scam school, scam real estate... but that's not important.
The important thing is that he doesn't know what he's doing and refuses to take advice or get help (probably cause 90% of the people he chose don't know what their doing either).
Look at Ben Carson. Now the surgeon general just got let go. Hmmm, who would be good choice to replace him? A smart guy would say, Surgeon Ben Carson, you get a token black guy and put him in a position where he knows what he's doing. But nope, just keep him in charge of HUD, where he has no experience. He'll probably fill the SG position with some rich faith healer who doesn't believe in western medicine. I'm starting to think he thinks that's what it means to "drain the swamp", firing people who know and have experience in the field and replacing them with people who have none. He should change it from "drain the swamp" to "let the blind lead the blind".
tigresuave11
So many scandals... Any one alone would sink any other president...
tigresuave11 If Ben Carson were the last doctor on earth, I would look up homeopathy or call a witch.
Queen Bee Why? Despite his personality, he's a very accomplished surgeon. What, in your medical opinion, makes him ill suited for surgery?
After 100 days, america has gone in the opposite direction from "great".
Hydrasaur how so?
Hydrasaur just listen to the video
"Everything is so unintelligible ."
I laughed at how true that is, then I cried a little.
Your monologues are the best!
I agree!!!
Diane Owen they're the only part of the show I watch.
he has better monologues than those other late night shows. it look likes a natural conversation than scripted.
They would be even better if John Batiste limited his side noises. He is really not funny or even good at bantering back and forth.
i don't feel even a bit of chemistry between them. even reggie who doesn't speak has a better reaction with corden's monologue than jon. it looks like he is just making noises for attention even though he doesn't understand the topic.
The only thing Donald Trump made great again is SNL.
Vaishali Menon yes that's so true!
You copied that from the comment section in a snl video
Daire O'Reilly what? Lol no!!! But I feel good I have a comment doppelganger. Can you tell me which video it is?
And Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah. I sub'd to them thanks to Trump.
Yeah everyone watches the comedy shows now and all the band-wagoners are here now.
It was not unintelligible, he was just speaking russian.
Nyet, suka.
Israel Pinheiro best comment I've ever read
BaZING!
He was speaking Jon Baptistian.
Nope, he speaks Americanese.
I'm honestly loving Colbert for exposing Trumpy like this
Donald Trump writing new Daft Punk songs:
Work it.
Make it.
Do it.
Build it.
Super-
Duper,
Higher,
Better!
lmao! Love this
Yonkage I
Colbert has been really killing it with his monologues...great stuff!
I have done more than trump in the past 100 days and all I did was build a bunker
Adam Taki an actual bunker?
Arnold LosTitties haha we all should ;)
Adam Taki but did you actually build a bunker?
Arnold LosTitties it's was a joke
Adam Taki I actually thought you built a bunker. I was like damn, that's cool. this nigga has a bunker. but it just turns out that I was being dumb.
"But Nagasaki, no way!" I don't know why that part is killing me lmao
Trump is fluent in The Sims and the Charlie Brown trombone languages. Amazing. 😃
hawkeye5955 He can also transcribe the dialogue from Legend of Zelda characters without reading the on-screen text.
" Haha, hot pototah. " Piano Guy, 2017
I LOVE when the monologues are over 10 min long
Put up a 40 foot walk and a day later 41 foot ladders will be sold in Walmart & Home Depot.
"There are still Muslims" lol
Vaishali Menon here's one XD (me)
+SuJu_Mimi Cool story, bro.
Mech Tasker thanks?
+SuJu_Mimi you're welcome?
dafuk?
Can we just take a second (or two) to appreciate how good this monologue is and how good it was delivered by Steven! 🙌
isn't "super duper higher better better" a daft punk song?
Yes and No, that's not the real name
I like how Trump basically invites people to roast him just by tweeting or speaking
President (Unintelligible), had done an (Unintelligible) job at first 100 days.
Trump's favorite word is (unintelligible)
Mexico no pay
Loco Gringo pay
haha I read that on consuela's voice.
Gin me too
Trump: Vocabulary of a 5th grader
He has to speak to the level of his supporters.
Phil Lewis and sell to them too... dolphinsilverwolf.deviantart.com/art/This-is-what-we-voted-for-Trump-Parody-622984317
kevinmuehl Muehlkevin: not the president
kevinmuehl Muehlkevin nah! it's lower
Well, that's a braggadocious claim.
All of Jon Batiste background comments (unintelligible)
haahahahahahaha yessss!!!! BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY
Docson7 of course all of Jon's comments are (unintelligible) to u, your ears r all clogged up with hate..... I luv that he irritates the sh*t out of all the haters😂😂!
vvtstokes
Honestly though, who gave him a mic and why?
I love him actually ! He gets into it 😁
his mic is a little too loud
#buildAsentence
"And if I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more." My God. What the actual fuck did we elect into the White House. I still can't believe this is what I just read. His speaking skills are literally on a 3rd grade level.
kalzoa22 - and that's being generous.
kalzoa22 That actually sounds like what a pre-schooler would say. 3rd graders are smarter lol
Trump is actually intelligent, he simplified his grammar just for the working class.
Noah Vanmullekom That's a pretty huge assumption. I'll need actual evidence of him having an advance debate on issues in which he uses 3 syllable words other than tremendous. Also this needs to be prior to the election obviously.
Noah Vanmullekom I also don't like the fact that no matter what this guy does, he always has people around to wipe his ass and make excuses for him. "Oh, he doesn't mean a physical wall. It's metaphor for improving border security." "He didn't mean all Mexicans were rapist, just the illegal ones." "It was just locker room talk. He wasn't actually bragging about forcing himself on married women." "He didn't really mean healthcare for everyone." "He didn't really mean Obama wiretapped him." If Trump shot a guy tomorrow his supporters response would be "he wasn't really trying to kill the guy. He was going Quail hunting in the city and it just happenedto fly behind the guy's head. Stop blaming Trump for everything libtards!"
Did anyone else hear that one dude "HOT POTATO"
Don't you just hate it when they cutoff in the middle of a
Samik Nayak. I KNOW RIGHT??! It really just bothers m
If you had to sum up Trump's presidency in one word. What would it be?
(unintelligible)
IF!
tremendous
Thilo Manten I'd go with "AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhHhHh" while I'm aware that's not a word, it fits really well.
Trumped
I'll vote for Sir_Starshine's Trumped.
epic writing, immaculate delivery mr.colbert.... how can i like this more than once...haha
This is Colbert's best one.
Stephen just gets more and more adorable by the monologue.
Omg this is a dark and sad period of modern american history.
Sorry but since when has America been modern?
it has been up until the day trump was elected...
yea, darker, scarier, and dumber...
American dreamer: until trump got elected? Our country was already in deep shit when it came down to Hilary or trump for president. Neither has the ability to fix our national debt that Obama tripled in his 8 years as president. People are so scared now that trump is president. You should have already been scared when it came down to those two. You think Hilary would have done better? They were both terrible choices.
It's a dark and sad period of ALL human history. If aliens see this stupid shit from the orbit, they'll be like "Fuck them idiots, they will make us look bad in front of the Galactic Federation, if we ever make contact with those asinine cocksuckers!"
just wanted to say IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR OBAMA's eloquent, thoughtful, and educated voice today. Carry on with your Colbert-watching shenanigans.
Muzikrazy213 I was near tears.
Muzikrazy213 😢 Remembering the time when everything made sense 😭
It hurt my heart to watch the last real President speaking again but I was glad to see him looking like he had gotten some good vacation time in
Yeah the guy who bombed HUNDREDS OF THO USANDS of innocent people across the world. Wake the fuck up please.. +K S you are pathetic
Mystic Mark m.o.a.b
5:10 LOL wtf is that guy in the background even saying =D
"ahhhhhhh aha haha andthenwhyacomecountry"
The guy on the piano makes the weirdest noises at the weirdest times
I KNOW! Hot Potato!
So bloody annoying.
WTF does he even mean by that?? Only think I hate about this otherwise perfect show.
OMG I've been saying that since the beginning. He's so annoying
Literally the only bad part of the show
Trump used to be all talk and no action. Now he seems to be unintelligible talk and no action.
No action... What do you call dropping the LARGEST non nuclear bomb in Afghanistan, and firing missles into Syria?No action my ass. Trump has done more to protect our nation from terrorism in 100 days than Obama did in 8 years!!!
Semper Fi mmmm not really droping a bomb is not that big of a deal. nit sure ethier if he even was conected to the bombing ethier you know he was busy.
+Semper Fi People that voted for donald didn't want him involved in Syria and didn't want him bombing civilians. Your example is a terrible one.
Christian Arevalo are you in the service?
Semper Fi the airstrike was a smokescreen...unless you think 59 tomahawk cruise missiles all missed critical targets. The MOAB might be impressive...but islamic terrorists blow themselves up as walking warheads. They may cook that bombing into recruiting propaganda for new agents. I fear for our troops given orders by their current CinC.
Laughter is the best medicine
🃏🎭🃏🎭🃏😹😂😹😂😹😂🃏🎭🃏🎭🃏😇😹😂😹😂
Mitchell Krouth 😢😢 glad we're all in this together
Mitchell Krouth It's also the prelude to death.
David, god damnit, can't you at least let us have this...
Anyone else love how Stephen always completes his gestures and movements 😂
Stephen Colbert you nailed it
8:22 I was listening on my headphones. I think I have tinnitus now.
love Colbert one of the funniest tv hosts ever
Agreed. Hilarious.
Meh, he wasn't that funny on Shining Time Station
"HOW ON GOD'S EARTH DID WE GET TO THIS POINT?!" is something i ask myself every time blondie speaks....
That's a great nickname. "The Unintelligible."
Juan de Salgado ha
Maybe a good Band Name? They could be a parody band.
This guy is straight up senile. And the fact that so many people don't notice this scares me.
christian santillana lookup what happened to Woodrow Wilson during his second term.
christian santillana i hope you're talking about Trump
Aa Bb Of course. You thought I was talking about the brilliantly funny man that's hosting this show?
christian santillana yeah
Why the hell does my President sound like a low-budget Jar Jar Binks?
Best response!
This guy has been given so much material since Trump got in, his comedy just continues to write itself since the campaign. If Trump ever leaves office, its not going to be so easy anymore! :-D
Nancy Chivers
John Smith h
I am so tired of winning
Trump: Doing whatever he wants with no accountability
BladeWinters I think that's what bothers me the most: no one holds his feet to the fire! We're the ones who are going to be left holding the bag. 😞
The biggest accomplishment is how are we not dead yet.
Thank you for all you've done in the first hundred days Stephen!
Me: What are you proud of that Trump has done?
Trump Supporter: I am proud of how he...[unintelligible] He's great for doing that.
'Bringing Back Jobs'? What jobs?
'Drafted Plan to Defeat ISIS'? What plan?
'Ended War On Coal'? What is this, the Victorian era? When we're living in the age where finding renewable sources of energy is imperative, why do we need to go back to coal?
I don't know if you believe the 'official' unemployment thing blow 5% but the actual number is just under 10% because obama's numbers doesn't include people who have stopped working entirely and just go off of welfare because technically the income is federal income just like a guy working a government job.
aquamop15
-Coal is dead and you fucking know it. The rest of the world has found better alternatives. It's not our fault we don't want to be stuck in the 1950s. Coal country doesn't even have the same profit value it once did in the past.
-A lot of these "jobs" you're talking about have been in the works for months now, and some for up to a year. Jobs don't fall from the sky. Even that Exxon ad that keeps playing is a complete lie to say they just decided to add more jobs since Trump took office. There's an article from months ago, talking about how they were working towards getting more positions open for people.
aquamop15 And also his idea to defund sanction cities FAILED today. It got blocked by a judge in San Francisco😂
> Gutted regulations
> basically means allowing corporations to dump massive watse not following environment-safe business practices, thus poisoning Americans literally.
> is an accomplishment.
What?
Does Donald Trump know he is Donald Trump?
No, he knows he is President Donald J Trump. Get it right libtard.
Waldo that's a strong response for a pretty benign comment.
+Cinqmil Put the two together and guess what you get.
Is Stephen Colbert the King of Late Night? Because if he's not, this one monologue, not taking into account all his other great work as I'm sure he has quite the plethora, should cement him as such!
he is! in fact, Fallon's tonight show remained apolitical until they realized they couldn't compete with Colbert without getting political like Colbert, so now Fallon is doing Trump jokes in his monologues too.
Pfff, Still not gonna watch, maybe if he rubs trump's hair again money will fly out.
Fals3Agent Fallon is so fake. Not funny at all
Colbert for President!
That JFK bit had me rolling 😂
He thinks the number of viewers his tv appereances attract is the right way to judge the effectivenes of his policies? That's a joke, right? Tell me it's a joke...
TheGeorgb83 - 'fraid not.
Appearances*
TheGeorgb83, Grammar Nazi...effectiveness*
It's the joke that never ends.
As some1 from a border state, I just want to say that it was reported that no Congressman or Senator (Democrat or Republican) from the 4 border states will support the vote for the border wall, and an article shows that the states that want the wall the most are almost all landlocked states. Here's 4 main reasons why the border wall won't work/is not worth the money hence why border state politicians don't support it: 1) Odds are that if the U.S. ends up paying for it, we will have to pay more for it now and more than likely our states will pay additional taxes for repairs, upkeep, and security which other states won't. 2) More immigrants from Mexico are returning home than entering the U.S. since their economy is growing so building a wall will make it hard for them to leave the country, and even those that do keep coming all they need are tunnels and boats to get around it. 3) Back when George Bush Jr. initiated a plan to build a fence, only 1/3 of the 1,900 miles got fenced because the border isn't just flat terrain for the entire distance; there are mountains, rivers (Rio Grande), desert, the occasional forest, and the California fault line, all of which make building any significant structure nearly impossible in those areas. 4) 1 article online said the current border wall plan would be for the government to close off/take all land owned within 10 miles of the wall on both sides of the border and prevent any future development to better guard the border, but with many cities (San Diego and El Paso for example) so close to the border, millions would lose their homes/jobs and would be displaced. So, ultimately, when you look at the facts for possibility of success and consider how this border wall would hurt Americans/the American economy, it is not worth it.
I love Colbert's Drumpf impressions, they are *SPOT ON*
THANK YOU Stephen for making this nightmare more tolerable. I laugh so hard, till I cry cry cry.
#ImpeachTrump
Squirrel! impeach trump for what he hasn't done anything wrong yet. notice how I said yet implying that he might in the future
James Burlingham Other than violate the emoluments clause, nepotism laws, and the tenth amendment? Oh, and various commissions of fraud, bribery, and obstruction of justice?
What r u a sjw it was a joke
+James Burlingham this is a Colbert show. What do you think?
IT'S ONLY BEEN 100 DAYS!!?? This must be how a photon feels!
being president of the "United" States is not a contest or a television show, Mr. POTUS
OMG that EKG signature was gold! 😂😂👏👏👏 Now, please excuse me while I (unintelligible)...
Spread love no matter what
I wish I made more comments like this lol
and laughter!! lol
Never thought I'd say this, but Bush seemed like a genius compared to the sitting President.
Fancy Pancy cmon you really don't thinks he's doing a super duper better better job?
Name Change I think he is doing a awesome job at (unintelligible)
You do realize that Bush is an incredibly intelligent man? He just doesn't do speeches and interviews well. If you looked at all into his background you'd refrain from making comments that take away from the point you're trying to make.
Bumper 21 true, Bush was a really smart man. However the think that makes him stand out intellectually is his (unintelligible)...
I KNOW. I've been thinking that this whole time. The Bush/Gore election was the first one I could vote in. That was a disappointing introduction into the world of politics. However, even though it didn't turn out the way I'd hoped, I clearly remember not thinking we were in danger of nuclear war and that we were in real danger of bigotry becoming fashionable again. I never thought I'd live to see the day Bush wasn't the worst president of my lifetime! Hell, I'd vote Bush back in to get this guy out.
But the Titanic joke was fine! XD
Sadly Trump wouldn't know what a blanket tent was.
trump, even to you it must be obvious by now, that the only way you can make America (more or less)great again, is by resigning!
camelshit and taking his administration with him.
I don't want Pence to replace him lol
what are you so afraid of happening? putting people back to work? having war? good grief what do u want to happen? walk over to an islamic terrorist and hand him flowers and sing kumbaya? they would shoot your stupid ass and keep walking.
JBell300 Trump is not putting people back to work. He is, however, building us up to losing a war.
camelshit what do u want? and hand out? you are pathetic. get your lazy body off the couch and get to work. but u still haven't answered my question: why are you libs so afraid? losing a check every month? and in response to you stupid comment "going to lose a war". you are just a naive as you are ignorant. we cannot sit around and do nothing. we had 8 yrs of an embarrassment and he did nothing but line his own pockets. meanwhile our enemies grew stronger and we still sat back and did nothing. we needed someone to actually put fear in our enemies not say: oh are you okay; here is some money try again. it's no wonder why our debt has more than doubled since obama left because he kept giving it away to our enemies.
What I love about DJ Trump.. (unintelligible)
superlearner9 sounds like a rapper from the early 90's...DJ Trump.
aquamop15 The supreme Court Justice was supposed to be appointed during Obama's era but Republican blocked him. How does gutting Obama's era regulations are good thing when it will caused pollution and Wall Street screwing people? There never was war on coal. More immigrants were moving out of US than moving in. HAHAHA when Obama signed EO, Republican called him dictator but when Trump did it, it's an accomplishment?? LMAO. you know what people called that? Hypocrite!
tone it down, Baptiste.
jeez.
Aj Evans a) You can turn on closed captioning and press "mute" b) "Batiste" is his name.
At least Trump made _something_ feel longer.
unintelligible.. unintelligent.. either or.
5:13 Can someone please put Jon Batiste out of his misery? I think he's in great pain...
It was … unintelligible.
( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)
This was the most alternatively successful 100 days of any administration in history, Period!
lol
He made American grapes again
Super-duper higher better better
Trump should work on building a vocabulary first...
+K Funk You should work on getting a job, and becoming as successful as President Trump.
look at these butthurt Trump fans lmao
K Funk I read this comment just as Stephen read, "super-duper."
Waldo are they hiring for "born rich with a small loan of a million dollars?"
Trump can't finish a fucking sentence, he can't finish a thought.
How is he going to build a wall?
Pondart Inc hire contractors and not pay them.
Exactly!
Even Finbarr Calamitous would make a better president.
...Anyone?
Pondart Inc no the only way he could make America great again would be a murder suicide with mike pence.
Tommy don't build my hopes up.
my 5 year old nephew has better sentence structure than lil Donnie
All this talk about ratings and viewers...I think Trump may still be under the impression that he's hosting a reality TV show.