Table News: What Was That Thud?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 28 чер 2023
- I've been on tour, but the world doesn't pause. We've got orcas causing havoc, a missing submarine (no, not the sandwich), and talk of revolution. And Florida... well, he's worried about sea cows. Strap in, it's news time!
--Patreon--
Do you want early access to my content and other benefits?
Sign up at / ben_brainard for as little as $3 a month!
--Next Shows--
6/30-7/1 - Rosemont, IL - Zanies
7/16 - Milwaukee, WI - Improv
7/19 - Appleton, WI - Skyline Comedy Club
7/26 - Omaha, NE - Funny Bone
7/27 - Des Moines, IA - Funny Bone
8/6 - Buffalo, NY - Helium
8/8 - Syracuse, NY - Funny Bone
8/9 - Albany, NY - Funny Bone
8/10 - Hartford, CT - Funny Bone
8/13 - Providence, RI - Comedy Connection
8/15 - Boston, MA - Laugh Boston
8/16 - Bridgeport, CT - Stress Factory
8/17 - West Nyack, NY - Levity Live
8/18-8/19 - Rutherford, NJ - Bananas Comedy Club
8/20 - New Brunswick, NJ - Stress Factory
8/22 - Philadelphia, PA - Helium
8/23 - Timonium, MD - Magooby's
8/27 - Washington, DC - DC Comedy Loft
8/30 - Richmond, VA - Funny Bone
8/31 - Virginia Beach, VA - Funny Bone
9/14 - Tacoma, WA - Tacoma Comedy Club
9/17 - Portland, OR - Helium
10/10 - Little Rock, AR - Loony Bin
10/11 - Memphis, TN - Growlers
10/17 - Greensboro, NC - Comedy Zone
10/18 - Raleigh, NC - Goodnight's
10/24 - Charlotte, NC - Comedy Zone
10/25 - Greenville, SC - Comedy Zone
11/4 - Wesley Chapel, FL - Side Splitters
11/5 - Tampa, FL - Side Splitters
12/22-23 - Orlando, FL - Improv
--Links--
Shows and Tickets: www.benbrainard.com/shows
Email List: www.benbrainard.com/sign-up
Booking: www.benbrainard.com/contact
Store: www.benbrainard.com/store
UA-cam: / ben_brainard
Facebook: / comedianbenbrainard
Twitter: / ben_brainard
Instagram: / ben_brainard
TikTok: / ben_brainard
Discord: / discord
Watch My Special "From Florida With Love" (CODE: BENB): www.drybarcomedy.com/benbrainard - Комедії
Upcoming Shows:
6/28 - Chicago, IL - Zanies
6/30-7/1 - Rosemont, IL - Zanies
7/16 - Milwaukee, WI - Improv
7/19 - Appleton, WI - Skyline Comedy Club
7/26 - Omaha, NE - Funny Bone
7/27 - Des Moines, IA - Funny Bone
8/6 - Buffalo, NY - Helium
8/8 - Syracuse, NY - Funny Bone
8/9 - Albany, NY - Funny Bone
8/10 - Hartford, CT - Helium
8/13 - Providence, RI - Comedy Connection
8/15 - Boston, MA - Laugh Boston
Thank You !!!😃😃😃Also Florida and Texas are under CDC advisery due to a Malaria out break which hasn't happened in 20 years # Table News.
I'd come to the MKE show, but I'm out of town that day. But WI, IL, IN, and OH have been under a thick blanket of smoke from the wild fires in Quebec. And yes, I did have to explain how fires in the east managed to loop around and smack us back here in the midwest to family members. We've had the worst air quality in the world for the last few days.
I can be critical of your grasp on the big picture of politics but honestly the only fault I can point to in this is the inaccuracy of the coast guard caring about a boat in the Mediterranean. This is the perfect balance otherwise.
@@lauraschilling5088 Its so smoky it looks the industrial revolution is going on.
You got to talk about messi
"Billionaires are food, not friends"-Orcas
What do fish near the RMS Titanic eat?
Five Guys
I got that reference. 🤣
@@icarusbinns3156I just cackled so loudly 😂
😂
They believe in eating the rich....
"You were just in the closet"
"In JUNE?!"
10/10, golden
I'm really glad the skit got started with the states being upset that he'd been away for so long because that was exactly my reaction when I saw there was a new Table video
Same I was just talking about that earlier today with a family member when we were watching the Al one bc that'd where we live
@@thealabamiangirlAI one?
@@Traci_Websinger wdym
As soon as he said, "Gimme the hat," I shouted "Yes!!" 🤣
Ben calls for the hat, theme music intensifies....
As an ex puddle pirate…that “branch of military I forget the most” line damn near killed me. Coast guard doesn’t get nearly enough credit for the work we do.
We love the Coast Guard in Michigan!
I have more confidence with a Coastie than a Squid out on the Great Lakes .
@@MiishaKorvian I wish I was stationed in Michigan. I was in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. Retired now and working as a lifeguard at my neighborhood pool.
@@Winterborn5Do they have you paddle a kayak around the pool for old times' sake?
@@NavyVet9702 Nah. But my kids do occasionally pretend to drown while dramatically yelling "oh no, our navy battleship sunk and we cant swim!" Poor squids... Lol. o7
Picturing you in a room by yourself, talking to yourself, directing yourself, joking by yourself, is painful and funny and makes me realize how talented and gracious you are to do this for us, on top of your health issues. Thank you, and we appreciate it.
I read this like it was an opening monolog from a Twilight Zone episode
We really do.
Ben putting on the Florida hat is akin to Bruce donning the bat-cowl
"Let's get Dangerous"-Darkwing Florida man
He actually had the kind of face of a man that had to go back to work after he retired...
That’s the secret. I’m always mad.
I read that as bat-cow
@@patdevhill3456he fights crime by using his enemies lactose intolerance against them
"Wherever there's a revolution, there also I will be." I never thought I'd be so proud to be a Masshole but those words have won me over.
Florida with the pink tanktop equals chaos. But seeing these skits come back is a massive amount of serotonin.
Also, i love how the Coast Guard is portrayed here, as he's just pissed that they're not called upon a lot by GOV.
Not gonna lie though, seeing Texas and Florida's eyes light up at the mention of revolution was like two puppies hearing they're getting treats. (Thanks, Massachusetts)
...They want a right-wing revolution, though.
The ones who want that mostly don't realize what they're asking for
On behalf of my home state, you're welcome.
He got pissed once he was told he was forgotten about
As a Bostonian, you're welcome. We love a good fight. Especially if we get to stand on a soapbox about it lol.
Cannot explain how good it is to have the Table back! And how wonderful it is to see Coastie at the Table. He might be the forgotten stepchild of the armed forces but he has a place at the table
Semper paratus!
The kids' table.
If the Coast Guard is the forgotten stepchild what does that make the Space Force?
@@nohbody369the fledgling still working its way out of the nest.
@@nohbody369 The random unofficial foster kid who comes and hangs around the house a season or two after the youngest kid goes upstairs and is never seen again. Played by Leonardo DiCaprio
Hey, if Russia can train dolphins, Florida can train orcas. I put NOTHING past Florida.
Train orcas is the first step. Put a laser in the orca is the second step
But what about the Manatees?
From what I read the attacks started in the Mediterranean sea, so it could actually be Russia...
@@msmaria5039 Wouldn't you like to know . . .
Florida has got no time to train Orcas, Florida is still trying to train gators to be housebroken.
Welcome back Ben. I don't know how many people I can speak for, but for those that share the sentiment, we appreciate your making an effort to do these skits for us despite the chronic fatigue from, you know, having no thyroid anymore.
I am so glad that you mentioned the migrant boat situation with the whole sub thing. So happy to see our chaotic circus back in action.
Every instant of your portrayal of the Coast Guard is perfect.
To be honest, I was sure he was calling Canada at the end.
BAHAHA IM LOSING MY SHIT THE GOV GOT CALLED A BOTTOM 😭😭
Man, its a testament to your skill and talent that so many of us see the states as different individuals instead of characters played by one person.
The mad, bad, news lad is back and I'm so glad.
Russia: *screaming*
Canadian wreck recovery unit operator: *screaming*
New York (and much of the US along the north) and Canada: *screaming*
Ben’s Table fans: *screaming*
“Something is happening here” Great detective work FL😂😂
So glad The Table is back
Holy shit NY's comment about Gov barely being a bottom sent me 😂😂
You should totally do a Midwest and New York skit on the air quality. Our alert (Wisconsin) just got extended again
Same here in Indiana. I do not like it.
Michigan too. It's like trying to breathe thru chowder. No Maine, not Clam!
I just want to go outside but I can’t without horrible headaches after. And I started having them when it was still only unhealthy for sensitive people. Stay safe my friends who are also in it, or will be in it
I live in Indiana and suffer from asthma. I have to wear a mask whenever I go outside or else I end up struggling to breathe. I hate it.
Only with the West Coast chiming in with "big deal, we've been living with this for years"
"give me the hat" that sentence had the same energy as "give me the gun"
All praise our Orca overlords!!!
"I gotta get another drink for this" - I love Lousiana
I know the extra work to do the table is a toll but I also wanted to let you know how much we love the way your brain works!!! Also come to Tulsa!!!❤
I love how Florida is willing to fight Texas for the sea cows. Even if his current governor is the type to remove their protections.
There's really only one thing we take seriously in Florida. It's the manatees.
As messed up as Florida is, it warms my heart to know that he cares about the manatees so much
*Let The Chaos Begin!"* 🤣
This was great Ben! As a Bostonian, I was so happy Massachusetts was this one, at the perfect time too. So glad you're feeling well enough to do videos again. Hope you keep getting better!
I was just thinking about how I haven't seen you in a second and then you showed up, thanks homie
Want to support me and also get exclusive early access to my content? You can subscribe to my Patreon for only $3!
Ben's alternates are getting restless. Don't let Florida get bored! I don't know why but that's a bad ideal.
*In NY accent* just (speaking new york) google Florida man, that'll tell ya why
Listen Ben, I moved to the US last fall from Iceland. You help me make sense of it all. So I thank you for bringing the table news back. P.S. Also, please always take care of yourself first. :)
I hope you've been feeling slightly less tired! It's really good to see this again.
So now its cannon the states's personalities are stored in their hats 😂
Texas (Austin) being a sliiiightly special case 😄
Welcome back Ben! Great to see you again! 😊
Sleeper cell orcas for the win!❤
I was wondering the same. Glad we got an update 😂 love your content Ben! ❤
Thank you for doing a Table Talk in the midst of your tour. It is so appreciated by all of us who cannot get enough you of, but are unable to see you in person for various reasons! I love all of your work and seeing your stand up shorts. You are hilarious Ben.
Ben you do great work keep on the fantastic job
Damn was it worth the wait! I have laughed out loud so many times, and I know I will rewatch it. At least a few times.
ive never clicked so fast on a notification in my LIFE, glad to have you back!
This fun series returns and it begins with everyone acknowledging what you missed, including Trump's second indictment, and the death of that creep Pat Robinson
Who was Pat Robinson?
@@diamondboy623a religious bigot who created The 700 Club and helped make the GOP into what it is today
I have no idea
Use my code “BENB” to watch my full special here: www.drybarcomedy.com/benbrainard
YOU DID DRYBAR???
It's not working for me. It says the promo is invalid.
@@kittyroid8123make sure you click “monthly” and not “yearly”
@@Ben_Brainard Thank you! It works now.
Great to have you back, Ben.
Also, I like Florida’s new tank top!
My guy, your surgery scar looks great (as in not noticeable)! Don't know if that's something that has been on your mind, but you can't even see it! Glad you're doing better and that the table is back!
I honestly forget it’s even there most of the time
I was missing my news! Thanks for coming back!
Welcome back to the table Ben! When are you coming to Seattle?
September 14th!
@@Ben_Brainard Sweet! Thanks for the reply!!! I look forward to it.
I was so excited to see there was a new table video! I’ve only watched about a minute so far but it’s great as always! Keep up the great work! (also I am relatively new to your channel, and I just want to say that your stand up comedy is criminally underrated.)
Thanks for pushing through the fatigue and giving us a skit. I appreciate it. Also, not everyone forgets the CG. Semper Paratus!
THE TABLE IS BACK
It’s confirmed Ben, the creative director and Florida are the same person
Table News is back!
The lobbyist remark was painfully accurate 😢
Glad ur feeling better that u started these again
Man I have missed The Table!
Love that the vid started that way 😂😂😂
Florida will always be my favorite character 😂
Bens back lesgoooo
I am a simple UA-cam viewer. Whenever I see PA in a 'Welcome to the Table' sketch, I hit like.
"Would I *not* be the top?"
"You're barely a bottom."
The way i rolled onto the floor laughing 💀
What a morning surprise!
As a Louisianan, I was too tickled at Cajun Navy? That’s all we know when it comes to water rescue 😂 glad The Table is back!
oh my goodness, the states are back. yay :D
Still laughing at Gov talking about the Coast Guard for half a minute straight, and then instantly insulting them. Great work!
Missed this sooooo much
Coast Guard: (inner thoughts) I don’t really have the equipment to search for it who can I call? James Cameron!
"give me the hat"
Glad that you and the states are back! I could not get tickets to show in Boston, but I didn't start a revolution about it.
BRUUUUUUUHHHHHH SO GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK!!! Take it easy though, don't burn out by jumping in too quickly
I imagine that Florida knows the USCG well with all the hurricane rescue and response stuff.
I need a sea cow shirt now!! So great!! Thank you so much you are wonderful and talented!!!
0:47 why do I fell like California is going to go full mad scientist to discover how Floridas brain works.
I actually love it when people actually acknowledge Louisiana lol
*torn between wanting to demand more table and sympathizing/empathizing with other RL struggles*
Thanks for another Table episode.
Omg, I've been binging your videos for days now, neglecting anime, which I usually watch every day, because your videos are that entertaining. I'm so glad I got to see a current The Table news video! I've just been binging the old news stuff. I just found you about a couple weeks ago, and I'm glad I did. You're funny as fuck! I totally wanna cosplay California, because he's my favorite character, and I'm Californian.
So glad for another table news script. Very happy this is back, hope the tours been going good well Ben.
Ahhh! So excited to see this back. Great update. Loved the addition of the Coast Guard and the spelling out of 'certain' words to not cause the South to get excited. Awesome Work Ben
The Table…the only time I want to watch the news!
The 1-second depiction of PA with that one-liner is so accurate!
Love these! Keep making them!😂
So glad to see The Table back. Thank you for appeasing us fan even though you've been dealing with health issues. We really do appreciate you and your work.
Glad to see this series return!
So glad the Table is back!
That was great, Ben. Thanks!!
"In June? REALLY?" You're totally getting the hang of Cali.
Good to see all y'all back at the table!
So glad to see everyone back together! More plz
So happy the table is back!!!
I swear that Titan bit was a boomerang joke - it came back to me after it ended and was even funnier the second time XD
Thank you so much!
So happy these are back, keep them up!
Glad to see the return of the Table! I hope your tour has been fun!
Yes! I've been missing this!
Glad you pointed that out
So glad to see these again.
Have missed these, thanks for bringing them back!
I've missed these. Welcome back table!!
waking up and seeing a new table video is an amazing suprise
Great episode Ben, thanks!