I know the algorithm is an evil thing that demands constant output, but I hope you both know there are so many people who love and support you and will continue to listen and adore you even if you both take a full month off. We don't want you to burn out, and having downtime and rest is so vital for creativity ❤️
My (maybe improbable) worry about the genealogy dna stuff is actually insurance companies getting their hands on the data to decide what to cover and deny based on genetic factors.
I work in the regulatory space and can tell you it's already happening. Also, once you hand over your genetic info, you may not have any control over how it is used. There are very real concerns. See "Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks"😢
I agree. The larger point being, why am I trusting these corporations not to abuse my data? Disagree with Caroline I don’t think it makes anyone look guilty in the slightest, it’s ok to value privacy in a world where nothing feels private.
definitely hard agree on this thread also, as someone who doesn’t engage too much with social media or rather the pool of apps I use is minimal (though most things will spill over content snippets from other platforms/apps, so indirect use), I already have the behavior of prioritizing privacy, not b/c I plan to cover future criminal tracks (though, inadvertently, is an unrealized benefit to doing so lol); its simply protection from known unknown (lol boondocks reference iykyk) possibilities. Its to feed that sense of security (even if arguably nothing is ever w/o risk or safe/secure), which helps maintain inner peace for me. And even if I’m “wrong” about it, hmm I trust my intuition to not trust certain things lol🤷🏻♀️💁🏻♀️💆🏻♀️😂
conversation is ultimately a collaboration, but i understand what Caroline is seeing in herself here! i see that in myself a lot too. i notice myself being the louder one in some conversations, and I'm never sure what I'm trying to prove, especially to a friend. I'm very lucky that i have incredible friends who also hold their own and kindly nudge me back to feeling normal and not like a performance.
This was such a helpful episode! Learning how to believe our partners when they say nothing is wrong or it's not about you, but to just let them feel and process the way they need.
I have been single for such a long time, and in some tumultuous situationships -- to the point where I do process and handle all my own feelings so much, that I will basically not bring a concern to someone. Like it all ends and begins with me. I broke this pattern last week and it was a wild experience. -- xoxo, love and appreciate y'all sharing with us. I can find angles on myself that I wouldn't have otherwise from hearing y'all. Y'all are da best
I’m soooo looking forward to the video about pausing! This is something I think about and fail at all the time. But I’m constantly trying to get better at. As an aside, i am Black, Mexican and White and I only knew the white part of my family growing up. I never met my dad who is Mexican and had no connection to the Black part of my family for various reasons. 23 and me helped me learn so much about my heritage- something I could not get from family members. It has also connected me to cousins on the Mexican and Black side I had no idea about and likely would have never been connected to otherwise. As a BIPOC woman growing up in a majority White space it has been an amazing resource.
I appreciate this episode! In a group setting, I do become more of an observer and often let others talk over me, however, the way some people recognize it and say “oh I’m sorry what were you saying?” Or “sorry i interrupted you. What was XYZ you were talking about?” show that they are excited about our conversation and wanted to share what they wanted to say in a moment but are also aware there are other people in the room. I do get tired if I keep getting interrupted, but recently, I started being more appreciative of people who can carry conversation like this. I don’t have to keep pressure to say something when I don’t have much to contribute 😊 My husband is just like Ryan, and I totally feel you, Jess! After having a good amount of fights about this and realizing it’s just how his brain works, I told him that I want him to keep taking his time to respond back to me, but he has to say “I’m thinking” so that I know he heard me and is listening to me. Once we had this agreement, we haven’t had any arguments about this. I tried to be like him too (taking my time to respond but yeah I purposely didn’t tell him I was thinking. I was being a little mean haha), and he got worried what was going on lol I was like dude this is exactly how you are but okay. 😂 So funny!
This was such an amazing episode! There are so many things that I've thought about with the podcast friendship dynamic. As well as the conflict in relationships communication skills. I have been like jess with the talking through my feelings in the moment, but I have noticed the way that can get us off course so quickly. And have been trying to pause which is also challenging when your partner is used to you talking through it. Thanks for frequently making me feel seen.
My objection to genealogy data: not giving my insurance more fodder to deny me coverage and therapy. Not wanting to be catalogued and tagged on my DNA. I think it’s way worse than cell data.
I'm just gonna chime in as I watch. I like how open both of you are as you go through this process. I think we all change and adapt according to our environment so I'm not sure it's possible to 100% replicate a one on one personal call with a friend in the same way when you know thousands of people will watch this and there can be ramifications for what you say. I listen to a lot of podcasts and if we compare it to a top podcast like Joe Rogan he is himself it seems and I think it comes with time and also not giving a fuck. If you do care what people think that's okay. I think as the title says this isn't for everyone and I think you have to be okay with losing a few people if you do share something people may not agree with. As you build your core audience they will know what you stand for I assume and you won't have to explain yourself so much. Having a fear of losing your livelihood is a real fear so I think you just gotta do what you are comfortable with and portray yourself in a way that feels safe to you.
You guys are truly amazing women! I wish I had girlfriends I could talk with like you two. Please keep the podcast going but only if it brings you joy!
Thanks for the great conversation, I learned so much and related with you. We also do the relationship check-in and we've changed it from once a week to 5 minutes daily. It sounds daunting but believe me, it's a lot better. Do we really do it every day? No. But it's a lot easier to pick up again when you've forgotten to do it for a few days. And because it's just the stresses of one day, I have so much less to remember. I also felt bad to be like "on Monday you did this and it mildly annoyed me", as if I'm super petty and keeping tabs. So this works out better, we try to use it to be mindful, remember some good things that happened that day and what we're grateful for. So it's a nice end of the day
I wish I had a friend who I can talk to the way you two talk. You’re so lucky. How long did it take you to this point?? I’m beginning to realize the reason I don’t have this is because I wasn’t willing to commit and give it “mud”. It was seem too hard.
Hot Take: Conversations are meant to be collaborative, not "I have the stage and let me deliver my monologue in full before allowing any feedback." Within reason of course, I feel like you need to turn inward if you're getting really worked up over someone adding to the dialogue (Again, WITHIN REASON; don't come for a bitch).
I admire you both so much, and this podcast has been a bright spot for me-but I sometimes wish you would read up more on some of the topics you cover. I know you’re not scientists! And I know you both have a lot going on. But I would be way more interested in hearing what you have to say on genetic testing, for example, if you had read a brief article or something. I know these topics come up spontaneously, so maybe you could have a segment where you circle back to them a few weeks later after doing a bit of research? Again, I know it’s not an educational podcast…but sometimes I wish you would get a little more curious if you’re going to bring these things up 🤓
I was hesitant to do 23 and me for the same reason as you, Jess and it showed that my heritage is still 100%Lebanese. It was a major flex moment for me 😂
The reason I wouldn’t want my dna out there is because I wouldn’t want health insurance companies to know about genetic dispositions to certain diseases
This might be a back handed comment, but Caroline's insecurity in the beginning shows a lot of self awareness... I did lose some of my "infatuation" for her persona after watching a few podcast episodes. You realise that UA-cam content is mostly performative and tailored, although somewhat based in reality. Podcasts de- mystify the creator in a big way, but I wouldn't say it negatively affected how I enjoy the youtube content.
@@sarahtonin2517I don't see what they were saying as a huge insult or anything!! I do agree that the podcasts remove some infatuated feelings, and actually make her more real. it doesn't make either worse, it's just a different side to her!
Ladies I love you guys and your podcast but today I was listening to it on Apple podcast and the audio from Caroline’s microphone was horrendously bad. The podcast was good though.
love you to bits but "you should be willing and ready to give the most personal data imaginable to corporations who can and will use every aspect of your DNA and other personal information to their advantage if it can be used to turn a profit" is not the take you think it is
I'm hear to respond to your thoughtful IG post. You are right. The name-calling solves nothing. Worse, it's childish. However, a more introspective position is to review why has the majority of the US rejected the party/candidate you voted for? More than half of voters turned out to say we are fed up with the existing policies. We didn't hear anything we liked about what your candidate/party had to offer. No, the policies being promoted have gone too far. More than half of the voters found these ideas scary. It was the Amish who turned out in PA to push the vote Red. What do the Amish represent? Pacifists. Families. Mom & Dads. Babies. Their teens are exposed to our culture and have the option to leave their way of life. I'm guessing they haven't been too pleased with the results. Sure, this is a bit of an oversimplification. There are many more issues. Just food for thought. Finally, when you look at the 81 million people who elected the current president, that huge spike, and now those numbers, never before obtained by more popular candidates like Obama, not obtained in this cycle, well, it makes you wonder. Sure you got 4 years of printing money, etc., but the party is over.
The negative thing that I have learned about you from the pod after coming here from your YT is that you swear a lot. It’s kinda disappointing because you are smart and delightful and the cursing just doesn’t elevate you in any way.
She cursed on the other one too, sometimes. She is human... I actually like the fact that she curses because it's showing how vulnerable she is and being expressive and real. Plus, isn't it great that she has 2 different pages, so we choose? I thank her for that, giving us choices ❤
I don't mind the cursing...it's the number of times Jess says "like." I just can't with that. She's so intelligent and well-spoken. I wish they would edit it out so I can listen again 😢
I know the algorithm is an evil thing that demands constant output, but I hope you both know there are so many people who love and support you and will continue to listen and adore you even if you both take a full month off. We don't want you to burn out, and having downtime and rest is so vital for creativity ❤️
Agreed 🙌🏼
Agreed ❤
THIS
My (maybe improbable) worry about the genealogy dna stuff is actually insurance companies getting their hands on the data to decide what to cover and deny based on genetic factors.
I work in the regulatory space and can tell you it's already happening. Also, once you hand over your genetic info, you may not have any control over how it is used. There are very real concerns. See "Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks"😢
I agree. The larger point being, why am I trusting these corporations not to abuse my data?
Disagree with Caroline I don’t think it makes anyone look guilty in the slightest, it’s ok to value privacy in a world where nothing feels private.
definitely hard agree on this thread
also, as someone who doesn’t engage too much with social media or rather the pool of apps I use is minimal (though most things will spill over content snippets from other platforms/apps, so indirect use), I already have the behavior of prioritizing privacy, not b/c I plan to cover future criminal tracks (though, inadvertently, is an unrealized benefit to doing so lol); its simply protection from known unknown (lol boondocks reference iykyk) possibilities. Its to feed that sense of security (even if arguably nothing is ever w/o risk or safe/secure), which helps maintain inner peace for me. And even if I’m “wrong” about it, hmm I trust my intuition to not trust certain things lol🤷🏻♀️💁🏻♀️💆🏻♀️😂
Imagine guys on podcasts calling their devotion to their dream "selfish." Ladies it's not selfish to have a dream and go hard!
conversation is ultimately a collaboration, but i understand what Caroline is seeing in herself here! i see that in myself a lot too. i notice myself being the louder one in some conversations, and I'm never sure what I'm trying to prove, especially to a friend. I'm very lucky that i have incredible friends who also hold their own and kindly nudge me back to feeling normal and not like a performance.
Thursdays are my favorite because of you guys
I actually don't notice the interruptions that much, it feels more like Caroline's just excited. It's pure excitement and doesn't feel rude.
This was such a helpful episode! Learning how to believe our partners when they say nothing is wrong or it's not about you, but to just let them feel and process the way they need.
I have been single for such a long time, and in some tumultuous situationships -- to the point where I do process and handle all my own feelings so much, that I will basically not bring a concern to someone. Like it all ends and begins with me. I broke this pattern last week and it was a wild experience. -- xoxo, love and appreciate y'all sharing with us. I can find angles on myself that I wouldn't have otherwise from hearing y'all. Y'all are da best
I’m soooo looking forward to the video about pausing! This is something I think about and fail at all the time. But I’m constantly trying to get better at. As an aside, i am Black, Mexican and White and I only knew the white part of my family growing up. I never met my dad who is Mexican and had no connection to the Black part of my family for various reasons. 23 and me helped me learn so much about my heritage- something I could not get from family members. It has also connected me to cousins on the Mexican and Black side I had no idea about and likely would have never been connected to otherwise. As a BIPOC woman growing up in a majority White space it has been an amazing resource.
I appreciate this episode! In a group setting, I do become more of an observer and often let others talk over me, however, the way some people recognize it and say “oh I’m sorry what were you saying?” Or “sorry i interrupted you. What was XYZ you were talking about?” show that they are excited about our conversation and wanted to share what they wanted to say in a moment but are also aware there are other people in the room. I do get tired if I keep getting interrupted, but recently, I started being more appreciative of people who can carry conversation like this. I don’t have to keep pressure to say something when I don’t have much to contribute 😊
My husband is just like Ryan, and I totally feel you, Jess! After having a good amount of fights about this and realizing it’s just how his brain works, I told him that I want him to keep taking his time to respond back to me, but he has to say “I’m thinking” so that I know he heard me and is listening to me. Once we had this agreement, we haven’t had any arguments about this.
I tried to be like him too (taking my time to respond but yeah I purposely didn’t tell him I was thinking. I was being a little mean haha), and he got worried what was going on lol I was like dude this is exactly how you are but okay. 😂 So funny!
This was such an amazing episode! There are so many things that I've thought about with the podcast friendship dynamic. As well as the conflict in relationships communication skills. I have been like jess with the talking through my feelings in the moment, but I have noticed the way that can get us off course so quickly. And have been trying to pause which is also challenging when your partner is used to you talking through it. Thanks for frequently making me feel seen.
My objection to genealogy data: not giving my insurance more fodder to deny me coverage and therapy. Not wanting to be catalogued and tagged on my DNA. I think it’s way worse than cell data.
I LOVE these authentic, vulnerable, therapeutic videos of all kinds of relationships ❤❤
I'm just gonna chime in as I watch. I like how open both of you are as you go through this process. I think we all change and adapt according to our environment so I'm not sure it's possible to 100% replicate a one on one personal call with a friend in the same way when you know thousands of people will watch this and there can be ramifications for what you say. I listen to a lot of podcasts and if we compare it to a top podcast like Joe Rogan he is himself it seems and I think it comes with time and also not giving a fuck. If you do care what people think that's okay. I think as the title says this isn't for everyone and I think you have to be okay with losing a few people if you do share something people may not agree with. As you build your core audience they will know what you stand for I assume and you won't have to explain yourself so much. Having a fear of losing your livelihood is a real fear so I think you just gotta do what you are comfortable with and portray yourself in a way that feels safe to you.
You guys are truly amazing women! I wish I had girlfriends I could talk with like you two. Please keep the podcast going but only if it brings you joy!
Thanks for the great conversation, I learned so much and related with you. We also do the relationship check-in and we've changed it from once a week to 5 minutes daily. It sounds daunting but believe me, it's a lot better. Do we really do it every day? No. But it's a lot easier to pick up again when you've forgotten to do it for a few days. And because it's just the stresses of one day, I have so much less to remember. I also felt bad to be like "on Monday you did this and it mildly annoyed me", as if I'm super petty and keeping tabs. So this works out better, we try to use it to be mindful, remember some good things that happened that day and what we're grateful for. So it's a nice end of the day
I wish I had a friend who I can talk to the way you two talk. You’re so lucky. How long did it take you to this point??
I’m beginning to realize the reason I don’t have this is because I wasn’t willing to commit and give it “mud”.
It was seem too hard.
Hot Take: Conversations are meant to be collaborative, not "I have the stage and let me deliver my monologue in full before allowing any feedback." Within reason of course, I feel like you need to turn inward if you're getting really worked up over someone adding to the dialogue (Again, WITHIN REASON; don't come for a bitch).
Love you gals ❤ thanks for making Thursdays the best day of the week. Would love to see each of your besties co-host an episode at some point!
Today’s episode gave me a sense of normalcy in the best way possible 💗 thank you for the work and time you put into this podcast.
I like your podcast, but I looooove this episode.
besides the point but i just wanted yall to know that you both look cute as heck today
I admire you both so much, and this podcast has been a bright spot for me-but I sometimes wish you would read up more on some of the topics you cover. I know you’re not scientists! And I know you both have a lot going on. But I would be way more interested in hearing what you have to say on genetic testing, for example, if you had read a brief article or something. I know these topics come up spontaneously, so maybe you could have a segment where you circle back to them a few weeks later after doing a bit of research? Again, I know it’s not an educational podcast…but sometimes I wish you would get a little more curious if you’re going to bring these things up 🤓
I was hesitant to do 23 and me for the same reason as you, Jess and it showed that my heritage is still 100%Lebanese. It was a major flex moment for me 😂
The reason I wouldn’t want my dna out there is because I wouldn’t want health insurance companies to know about genetic dispositions to certain diseases
This might be a back handed comment, but Caroline's insecurity in the beginning shows a lot of self awareness... I did lose some of my "infatuation" for her persona after watching a few podcast episodes. You realise that UA-cam content is mostly performative and tailored, although somewhat based in reality. Podcasts de- mystify the creator in a big way, but I wouldn't say it negatively affected how I enjoy the youtube content.
I completely disagree! I love Caroline's real personality on the podcast. She's the reason why I tune in. She is so funny and smart and raw.
@@sarahtonin2517I don't see what they were saying as a huge insult or anything!! I do agree that the podcasts remove some infatuated feelings, and actually make her more real. it doesn't make either worse, it's just a different side to her!
Such a good episode, especially the last third ❤
This ep was a banger
Ladies I love you guys and your podcast but today I was listening to it on Apple podcast and the audio from Caroline’s microphone was horrendously bad. The podcast was good though.
Women are especially adept at having these connections. It saddens me men seem to be incapable of this, but…at least we have this.
love you to bits but "you should be willing and ready to give the most personal data imaginable to corporations who can and will use every aspect of your DNA and other personal information to their advantage if it can be used to turn a profit" is not the take you think it is
Bff guest spot???
Your lighting/tones on camera look purple and orange too lol
Well then Im a rapist 😂
I'm hear to respond to your thoughtful IG post. You are right. The name-calling solves nothing. Worse, it's childish.
However, a more introspective position is to review why has the majority of the US rejected the party/candidate you voted for?
More than half of voters turned out to say we are fed up with the existing policies. We didn't hear anything we liked about what your candidate/party had to offer. No, the policies being promoted have gone too far. More than half of the voters found these ideas scary. It was the Amish who turned out in PA to push the vote Red. What do the Amish represent? Pacifists. Families. Mom & Dads. Babies. Their teens are exposed to our culture and have the option to leave their way of life. I'm guessing they haven't been too pleased with the results. Sure, this is a bit of an oversimplification. There are many more issues. Just food for thought.
Finally, when you look at the 81 million people who elected the current president, that huge spike, and now those numbers, never before obtained by more popular candidates like Obama, not obtained in this cycle, well, it makes you wonder. Sure you got 4 years of printing money, etc., but the party is over.
The negative thing that I have learned about you from the pod after coming here from your YT is that you swear a lot. It’s kinda disappointing because you are smart and delightful and the cursing just doesn’t elevate you in any way.
Why do you care if people curse or not?
@@laurag352Hi Laura, everyone is free to have their opinion and I feel like she explained it on her comment... Stay cool :)
She cursed on the other one too, sometimes. She is human...
I actually like the fact that she curses because it's showing how vulnerable she is and being expressive and real. Plus, isn't it great that she has 2 different pages, so we choose? I thank her for that, giving us choices ❤
I don't mind the cursing...it's the number of times Jess says "like." I just can't with that. She's so intelligent and well-spoken. I wish they would edit it out so I can listen again 😢
they're not for everyone so