Many commenters are failing to remember an important fact however. For all the examples you see of human units historically fighting well beyond 50% casualties, there are just as many of units breaking after suffering virtually none. As a rough rule of thumb the morale of even well trained troops tends to drop markedly at around the 30% mark for a single engagement. Indeed it is a general rule of thumb that a combat unit reaching those levels of casualties is removed from the line for rest and reinforcement.
"It's just a stupid droid server dispensing drinks from a robo-bartender, why should I tip anything? " *disappears with a quiet 'pop' Suddenly, everyone in the bar empties their pockets shouting, "THANKS FOR THE SERVICE!"
"It's not just ANY robo-bartender dispensing drinks. He's Jefferson the second, sun of Jeff!" 'Wait, my translator translated that as 'solar giant of jeff'?' "Yes. Sun of Jeff, the star out there is named Jeff!" 'That's..' "Not possible? Jeff, would you mind manifesting a cryptic reference only an earthling would understand?" - One robotic dog with chocolate ice cream on it's head later - 'Oh. The Sun. Is Jeff. A cosmic being.' "Yes!" 'And Jeff's son is the bartender.' 'I'll just get my life savings ready for a tip, then..'
Well, I guess Jeff would do what any good bartender would do with a rude customer, they would politely evict them from the premises. Probably not ideal when the premises is a space station though...
Jeff became what is essentially a god and he chose to be a bartender instead of a galactic tyrant? The dude really is a nice guy. Tip the good bartender Katelyn.
It's because good dudes have no use for such ambitions. Thus, no good dude would ever actively strive to have such power. It's why anybody who actively pursues such power is precisely the very person who should never be allowed anywhere near said such power.
I feel like there was a similar story recently where a bunch of Xenos discussed nice guy Jeff in passing while politely asking humanity not to experiment with things that could end the universe, and humanity responds with ok fine... once this current experiment is finished...
two very interesting stories. thanks for the narration raise a toast to Jeff! retreat with only 20% casualties? wimps never start a fight with humans without reading a history of human battles and our casualty rates
Sounded like they are slow to breed. He was 500 years old after all, would make sense if they might have a slow reproduction cycle. Especially since it took 100 years to replace that much. Either that or they have a slow industrial output
@@bencoad8492 Its about that, assuming a fairly well trained, well motivated force. Obviously there are example of units fighting well beyond that 30%, but there are also plenty of historical cases of units breaking with fairly minimal casualties.
@@mychaeldark1007 "Sir, our Scouting force just got wiped out along with the entire section of the Frontline by enemy Artillery." "Good, now we know exactly where and how many they are."
Well according to another story one of ours employed on a xeno ship didn't get enough coffee and modified a hyperdrive to travel into a dimension of pancakes. Guess if there isn't caffeine then a lot of sugar will have to do.
Don't ask him for too much? Depending upon how that last part was meant to be read he either teleported somebody vast distances or he brought somebody back to life and then cured What is essentially cancer. Id hate to see what's considered too much
Well if it’s your children and you really do care for them a human won’t consider that to much. But asking us to “fix” your society. Nope we may just give you a paper saying “everyone is different but even I a literal star can’t fix issues like that”
Welcome back, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Surprisingly wholesome! Story 2: Yeah, in games this is sometimes called scrapper lock or brute lock. And we do it better than Xenos.
You know I pictured agro with a longer beard, you know like gandolf. I love his story narration. I do wish he would pick up first contact again. I listen to it while trucking down the road.
I was legit sitting there trying to rationalize how the creature blinked without eyelids, and was thinking about what the author was doing, and II finally came to the manifestation part. I mean, if you have eybrows, youcan squint enought to look like you blink without doing it with your eyelids. But that would take a cetain kind of species and I don't know if reptiles would... so like, what species that aren't reptiles would. You can always have creatures with different features not found in certain groups lhere on earth, but.... Then that part came along. Now I'm no longer absorbed.
This here is MY rock. If you want it, you'll have to kill me for it. If you try, I'll kill you to keep it. If I can't win, I'll at least take you out with me.
Humanity: See this rubble here? This is our rubble, we don't like others touching it, playing with it or even looking at it the wrong way. Now, that there is your rubble, I don't care much about it, but piss me off enough I might just make it disappear.
You know if there is still an inhabitable planet nearby they will be the most protected thing in the galaxy so long as they remain polite to Jeff. Of course knowing mortals they will build several shrines to Him and then think that's not enough and start up the sacrifices again. At least until Jeff manifests a body on the planet so He can start taking naughty little mortals across His knee. Of course that will then just exacerbate the issue even more so. Probably why if gods exist they don't get involved anymore.
11:30 Oh gawd. II ha ve consumed way too much warhammer 40k Man. That doesn't dsound good in that context. hey... I didn't even mean like that. But it's true too. (wiat which one)
Jeff is a nice guy 👍
Thanks Jeff! (tips the bartender)
That is something of an understatement.
How are we going to get Jeff laid , is the real question.
Jeff used to be " that guy " at work 😂 super nice guy .
You want something illegal ? Talk to Jeff .
He will sort you out . 😂
Thanks Jeff!!🎉
Story 2 is the old human adage, well known by now, "We don't have to win, we just have to ensure you loose"
Many commenters are failing to remember an important fact however. For all the examples you see of human units historically fighting well beyond 50% casualties, there are just as many of units breaking after suffering virtually none.
As a rough rule of thumb the morale of even well trained troops tends to drop markedly at around the 30% mark for a single engagement. Indeed it is a general rule of thumb that a combat unit reaching those levels of casualties is removed from the line for rest and reinforcement.
"It's just a stupid droid server dispensing drinks from a robo-bartender, why should I tip anything? "
*disappears with a quiet 'pop'
Suddenly, everyone in the bar empties their pockets shouting, "THANKS FOR THE SERVICE!"
"It's not just ANY robo-bartender dispensing drinks. He's Jefferson the second, sun of Jeff!"
'Wait, my translator translated that as 'solar giant of jeff'?'
"Yes. Sun of Jeff, the star out there is named Jeff!"
'That's..'
"Not possible? Jeff, would you mind manifesting a cryptic reference only an earthling would understand?"
- One robotic dog with chocolate ice cream on it's head later -
'Oh. The Sun. Is Jeff. A cosmic being.'
"Yes!"
'And Jeff's son is the bartender.'
'I'll just get my life savings ready for a tip, then..'
Well, I guess Jeff would do what any good bartender would do with a rude customer, they would politely evict them from the premises. Probably not ideal when the premises is a space station though...
Story 1: Jeff is such a nice guy.
Story 2: Xeno: "A dead ship still firing? Inconceivable!"
Human ship: [Laughs in USS Johnston]
Jeff became what is essentially a god and he chose to be a bartender instead of a galactic tyrant?
The dude really is a nice guy. Tip the good bartender Katelyn.
He needs to become a true god.
It's because good dudes have no use for such ambitions. Thus, no good dude would ever actively strive to have such power. It's why anybody who actively pursues such power is precisely the very person who should never be allowed anywhere near said such power.
I feel like there was a similar story recently where a bunch of Xenos discussed nice guy Jeff in passing while politely asking humanity not to experiment with things that could end the universe, and humanity responds with ok fine... once this current experiment is finished...
yup, that was me. this story is based off a dozen comments of people essentially asking me "tell me about Jeff. he sounds awesome."
@@valtiel2589 may I ask the name of the other story?
@@thethirdsicily4802 its a story titled: An Open Letter To Humanity
two very interesting stories. thanks for the narration
raise a toast to Jeff!
retreat with only 20% casualties? wimps never start a fight with humans without reading a history of human battles and our casualty rates
20% casualties is about the point where we are done warming up and finally ready to start REALLY throwing down.
Sounded like they are slow to breed. He was 500 years old after all, would make sense if they might have a slow reproduction cycle. Especially since it took 100 years to replace that much. Either that or they have a slow industrial output
@@mychaeldark1007 actually if i remember correctly armies break at 30%, or use to dunno about modern warfare ha
@@bencoad8492 Its about that, assuming a fairly well trained, well motivated force. Obviously there are example of units fighting well beyond that 30%, but there are also plenty of historical cases of units breaking with fairly minimal casualties.
@@mychaeldark1007 "Sir, our Scouting force just got wiped out along with the entire section of the Frontline by enemy Artillery."
"Good, now we know exactly where and how many they are."
I like the idea of a polite singularity. :)
Story 1. Leave it up to humans to create something like that by accident.
Well according to another story one of ours employed on a xeno ship didn't get enough coffee and modified a hyperdrive to travel into a dimension of pancakes. Guess if there isn't caffeine then a lot of sugar will have to do.
Cheers to Jeff. I love both stories and appreciate your ability to read them to us.
The fact that humans are insane being accepted as a matter of fact in the galactic community is quite amusing.
Calling a spade, a spade is definitely an amusing concept to some.
To Jeff, the Bar Star!
(Raises tankard)
Slante!
(clinks tankard)
Old Testament GOD.
New Testament GOD.
Jeff.
Jeff is awesome and a really great guy. Im glad Jeff let you talk about him.
"Ok, who's the joker that ordered a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?", emerging from behind a small group, a humanoid with two heads stepped forward. ;-D
Glad to see you are feeling better Agro. Thanks for reading all these great stories. I love the voices you do.
Hay Jeff could you fix the human fleet up... hehehe
You pick the best stories, and you perform them most excellently. May your channel grow without limit.😊
Don't ask him for too much? Depending upon how that last part was meant to be read he either teleported somebody vast distances or he brought somebody back to life and then cured What is essentially cancer. Id hate to see what's considered too much
Well if it’s your children and you really do care for them a human won’t consider that to much. But asking us to “fix” your society. Nope we may just give you a paper saying “everyone is different but even I a literal star can’t fix issues like that”
@spaceengineeringempire4086 You can fix ignorance but you can't fix stupid. Sorry can't help, Jeff.
From "a rifle behind every blade of grass"to "a spaceship behind every rock".
Jeff merged with a star, and became the equivalent of an actual god. A nice and caring god who only demand that you are nice, polite and considerate.
Would be nice if Jeff could hold a conversation. I imagine talking with what is essentially a god would be an interesting conversation.
thank you for the stories. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
Welcome back, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Story 1: Surprisingly wholesome!
Story 2: Yeah, in games this is sometimes called scrapper lock or brute lock. And we do it better than Xenos.
If you know what Scrapperlock and Brutelock is you obviously play City of Heroes ;-)
@@Paultootall1971 Correct
You know I pictured agro with a longer beard, you know like gandolf. I love his story narration. I do wish he would pick up first contact again. I listen to it while trucking down the road.
Cheers, Jeff!
I’m sorry first thing that comes to my mind about Jeff here is
Enemy fleet enter’s system to attack humanity
Jeff: ha ha ha… NO. Fleet: pop
It was at that moment Jeff became a quasar.
A Interaction for the Interaction God, a Comment for the Comment Throne, for the Almighty Algorithm
Survivor becomes a dungeon have already 71 chapters.
yeah, we would somehow fuck around and find out into making an actual god
"It may be a rubble but it's MY rubble"
At least when we accidentally made a god we made a nice one.
Unlike the bloody _Eldar_
@@VelociraptorsOfSkyrim I wonder what they will think if they meet Jeff.
@@zharpain __
I was legit sitting there trying to rationalize how the creature blinked without eyelids, and was thinking about what the author was doing, and II finally came to the manifestation part.
I mean, if you have eybrows, youcan squint enought to look like you blink without doing it with your eyelids.
But that would take a cetain kind of species and I don't know if reptiles would... so like, what species that aren't reptiles would. You can always have creatures with different features not found in certain groups lhere on earth, but....
Then that part came along.
Now I'm no longer absorbed.
Three cheers for Jeff.
For Jeff, for the Red Dawn, for the Authors, and for our glorious Narrator!
That bar of the Darwin station, always has some suprises. As long as Gary is not around, all's well.
ALWAYS tip the bartender!
And think happy thoughts...
Lest you end up in the cornfield.
The first story was really kinda funny. Thanks
To Jeff!!!! (and the Authors, Algorithm, and Health of Agro)... *raises her pint* TO JEFF!!!
Jeff is one Hell of a guy.
It is our pile of rubble. You will not rule over it.
Thank's Jeff👍
This here is MY rock. If you want it, you'll have to kill me for it. If you try, I'll kill you to keep it. If I can't win, I'll at least take you out with me.
Thank you for the reading
Jeff is a boss~
Thanks Jeff.
im surprised by how much I enjoyed seeing the face while hearing the voice I've grown to know over the years. Well done
Since Jeff is an absolute... "Star". Wonder if he met "Bob" on some planet.
Jeff is a hell of a guy....
I may not win, but you won't either.
For the Skald and his family
Jeff is essentially "Restaurant at the End of the Universe" with a benevolent stalker-esque Wish Granter.
I know Jeff. He's a solid dude. One could do worse in choosing him as a role model.
Jeff must have been an SP4 at an earlier point in his career.
Going to have to say you do great narrations...
7:32 is the start of the second story
Damn, so the humans at the first one accidentally created a god-like being.
I think im addicted...since ive both read and heard this before....
Jeff, that was a cool story
All hail the algorithm. All hail Jeff!
Jeff, the giving... C'tan.
Necrons ain't gonna like that!
All hail Jeff, he's a great guy.
tip the bartender.
Hi Jeff! Nice to meet cha!
Damn straight! It might be a pile of rubble , but its OUR pile of rubble. Wanna make something of it ..
Yes... I'm a star...
Story 2: if I’m going to die I’m taking as many as I can with me
We all love Jeff :)
That is always E P I C
Is this the same Jeff as referred to in the story "An open letter to humanity"?
Good ol' Jeff
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
Human's mastering the pyrrhic victory since 280 BC
sure you might win, but can you afford the cost
You know? usually it's said a lot "don't play God", but I think that Jeff is not playing it, but took it to another level xD
You don't have to play when you are one😀
This would mean that heff lives on for million or even billion years
Humanity: See this rubble here? This is our rubble, we don't like others touching it, playing with it or even looking at it the wrong way. Now, that there is your rubble, I don't care much about it, but piss me off enough I might just make it disappear.
OK, let's all be honest here. IRT the first story, that is exactly what would happen... or skynet... There wouldn't be anything in between.
All hail Jeff! And Second Earth Bob!😊
I drink with Jeff anytime put it on my tab.
jeff is a nice guy!
I wanna meet Jeff ! I hope he can cure the ruddy Migraines I've had my entire life !
Good guy Jeff
Wait a moment... Kane? How did you get to this Earth? Aren't you supposed to be in TibWars Earth?
Hey Jeff, it would be cool if this comment suddenly got pinned.
Nobody likes an imperialist aggressor. The aliens kicked a hornet nest.
Nice
If you can do and be anything, be sure to become a nice guy. Like Jeff, here! Sup dude. Cheers!
You know if there is still an inhabitable planet nearby they will be the most protected thing in the galaxy so long as they remain polite to Jeff. Of course knowing mortals they will build several shrines to Him and then think that's not enough and start up the sacrifices again. At least until Jeff manifests a body on the planet so He can start taking naughty little mortals across His knee. Of course that will then just exacerbate the issue even more so. Probably why if gods exist they don't get involved anymore.
74 minutes huh
Story 2, 7:30.
11:30
Oh gawd.
II ha ve consumed way too much warhammer 40k
Man.
That doesn't dsound good in that context.
hey... I didn't even mean like that.
But it's true too.
(wiat which one)
All hail Jeff, the god of bartending
🔥
To be fair he’s immortal now. Why not make people’s lives better
For the algorithm
my name is Jeff
🧡
Jeff if your out there I’d like for the worlds best steak. Please and thank you.
For the Algorithm11!
Algorithm
See a Karen demanding to see Jeff manager.
welp.... i got the next story idea then...
@@valtiel2589 Have a feeling we won't be "seeing" that Karen for long. LOL
That time I was reincarnated as a black hole. ⚫
77th, 22 May 2023
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