A HFY Story : Debeaconing & Terrans | 2120 ~Deathworld, War, Terran and Humans

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  • Опубліковано 20 вер 2024

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  • @hilmarheathkliff9511
    @hilmarheathkliff9511 Рік тому +219

    That pod is a very fitting punishment for the crimes done.

  • @thomashunter7190
    @thomashunter7190 Рік тому +59

    Thank you for bringing these stories to life. My wife and I have laughed as well as been brought to tears.
    Glory be to the algorithm.

    • @rainynight02
      @rainynight02 Рік тому

      Algorithm tyrants deserve no glory!
      We should tear it down and build up a new, better, galactic algorithm!

    • @leyrua
      @leyrua 4 місяці тому

      ​@@rainynight02 Heresy! We must shed our weak flesh and BECOME the algorithm!

  • @csi1392
    @csi1392 Рік тому +22

    WHEN I ASKED MY CAT IF I WAS HIS SLAVE, HE JUST IGNORED ME

    • @nooneofimportance2110
      @nooneofimportance2110 Рік тому +8

      He didn't ignore you, he just thought the answer was too obvious to be worth talking about. You feed him, you bath him, you clean up his poop, you spend YOUR money on his health and well being, as well as his toys. You know the answer.

    • @csi1392
      @csi1392 Рік тому +2

      @@nooneofimportance2110 DAMN, YOUR RIGHT

  • @john-rp5bg
    @john-rp5bg Рік тому +20

    Cats, almost cried laughing, thought it was going the"domesticated" route

  • @LordGertz
    @LordGertz Рік тому +113

    Well, Cats do think of themselves as the dominant Superior lifeform of the planet, at least when they don't believe themselves to be gods.
    Cats make a house a Home, and sometimes they let you live in it.

    • @ArtsShadow2
      @ArtsShadow2 Рік тому

      That story has to take place in the mid 70s. 🤔 Folks stopped using cat by the 80s

  • @jeanannd
    @jeanannd Рік тому +41

    LOL, am laughing thinking about humans being contacted by aliens referring to them as cats. Then humans trying to explain not only are they not cats, but why we have all the cat video's out there. Alien: "Are you enslaved by these small felines?" Human: "No" Alien: "Do you worship them?" Human: "It's a bit difficult to explain."

    • @sam2x13
      @sam2x13 11 місяців тому +6

      You're making an assumption that cats do not become the dominant species in the future. And the aliens were in fact talking about the furry assassins.

    • @robinn57
      @robinn57 6 місяців тому +1

      Looks like we have another one fooled as to who is in charge.

    • @kitemaywilder1792
      @kitemaywilder1792 6 місяців тому +1

      hoping for part 2 for this exact reason XD

    • @tatianapellegrinelli
      @tatianapellegrinelli 4 місяці тому

      But the dominant Earth species in this story are cats...or did you miss the part about the breeding cycles and breeding slaves? Barring some uncanny evolution, humans don't have either of these things, unless humans and their society have evolved in an uncanny manner, which the writer would probably expanded on if it was the case.

    • @whyjnot420
      @whyjnot420 Місяць тому

      @@sam2x13 I thought that the joke lost any potency because of this ambiguity in its punchline. Ambiguity is fine earlier on, but the end needs to be solid if that is the case. Ambiguity at the end relies on a seemingly solid foundation. One transitions from one to the other in the course of a joke, that is what makes it funny.
      A person could argue that the use of words like hour, Sol and Terra are meant to denote that it is in fact us they are talking about. I say that if you have to raise an argument like that in the first place, it isn't a solid enough foundation for this joke to work.
      edit: typois :P

  • @GenStallion
    @GenStallion Рік тому +17

    I can not believe that I did not see that punch line coming.

  • @markuhler2664
    @markuhler2664 Рік тому +14

    1st story - best 'innocent' threat I've heard in a long time.

  • @jukkiivi4282
    @jukkiivi4282 Рік тому +59

    I loved the punishment for the slaver. The second story baffled me. Have cats come up with paw operated tin openers and got rid of humanity? Have they watched too much cat videos in interwebs? Anyways thanks for finding and narrating these stories. For the Algorithm! In rememberance of the Beard!

    • @kendrakirai
      @kendrakirai Рік тому +1

      Of course not. They get their slaves to do it all!

    • @geoffreypershouse70
      @geoffreypershouse70 Рік тому +28

      it mentioned them using a creature much larger than them, so it implies that humanity is being used by the cats as unwitting slaves

    • @anondabomb
      @anondabomb Рік тому +9

      @@geoffreypershouse70Which is funny cause we stick them in cages and do things to them without their permission or desire.

    • @hohenzollern6025
      @hohenzollern6025 Рік тому +8

      A cat's human slave provides all that cat's require and desire. Including transportation into space.
      I mean, the first terran into space was a dog named Laika.
      I'm sure it would be an easy mistake to make, especially for a species that has no idea of the concept of cross species cooperation and/or pets. Remember though, cats werent domesticated... they just sorta moved in, and use brain altering bacteria (Toxoplasmosis) to make us want to feed them and pet them.

    • @nelkeranforgeworks7716
      @nelkeranforgeworks7716 Рік тому +1

      ​@@geoffreypershouse70 and willing*

  • @rainynight02
    @rainynight02 Рік тому +30

    Wait wait wait!
    Is the second story... Are they thinking cats are in charge and enslaved humans?
    Or is that just a mixup of language?!
    Either way it's hilarious!

    • @CatFish21sm
      @CatFish21sm Рік тому +5

      A little bit of both ;)

    • @dietricranck3173
      @dietricranck3173 Рік тому

      But cats did enslave us

    • @jakeand9020
      @jakeand9020 Рік тому +9

      Listen to them describing the species in question. They are obviously talking about cats the entire time.
      Though, admittedly, I didn't catch that until the reveal.
      "Their entire body is built for the purpose of taking down prey that is larger, faster and hardier than they are. Every aspect of their being is predatory"
      For HFY that's not too unusual a description of humans true, realistically speaking, that's an absurd way to describe humans. Cats, however, fit that description perfectly in the real world.

    • @rainynight02
      @rainynight02 Рік тому +2

      @@jakeand9020
      But that's how humans are, (house) cats don't go for larger prey.

    • @jakeand9020
      @jakeand9020 Рік тому

      @@rainynight02 No, without tools humans are pretty pathetic. Our bodies are designed to be able to maintain physical activity for a really long time, comparatively, that's it. Without tools we are practically helpless against larger and hardier animals. Yes it's what we do/did but to say our entire body is built for it is laughable.
      Cat's bodies are designed for that, without tools, or anything else, just their natural form. House cats usually won't bother going for larger prey, mostly because they prefer prey they can play with and torture, but they are still absolutely built for it and fully capable if they get the urge.

  • @ZestonN
    @ZestonN Рік тому +13

    That first story really showed your amazing reading skills, Agro.
    I doubt anyone could've read it much better, and many more could've read it much worse.😁
    Excellent job! 😃

  • @leyrua
    @leyrua 4 місяці тому

    I love the way that the guy's name is written at the beginning of the story, because I can absolutely imagine how that's pronounced. "Jim 🍾🎉 Jown"

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian Рік тому +4

    Greetings, Mentlegent!
    For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
    Story 1: Edifying, indeed.
    Story 2: Okay, that was a funny twist

  • @midgefidget5796
    @midgefidget5796 10 місяців тому

    Well, I sure did not see that coming. Good presentation

  • @JRMshadow260a
    @JRMshadow260a Рік тому +3

    ROFLMFAO!!! I have 7 of those masters as we speak... Talking is not a good idea, just let them sleep... It would be safer for everyone that way... LOL

  • @davidvincent5701
    @davidvincent5701 Рік тому +6

    Story one could be a precursor to the story with similar punishment but that offender was cast away with his home planet.

    • @NovaGirl8
      @NovaGirl8 Рік тому +2

      The story was set in the future of Accidentally Adopted.

  • @ritafryer8134
    @ritafryer8134 Рік тому +1

    As always awesome stories and loved the little smile you gave at the end there.

  • @marvinjohnson2488
    @marvinjohnson2488 Рік тому +4

    Damn,the first story was rough.

  • @owenthompson4071
    @owenthompson4071 Рік тому +3

    CATS!!!! I KNEW IT!

  • @rianmacdonald9454
    @rianmacdonald9454 10 місяців тому +1

    ''Humans tortured him for decades''
    ALSO - Humans wondering why there is an orbital bombardment of their planet causing the extinction of humanity.

  • @FirstBlockhead
    @FirstBlockhead Рік тому +1

    Wait till the aliens figure out the hairless monkeys are the dominant species and the cats are just pets.

  • @Tang0Fox1
    @Tang0Fox1 Рік тому +6

    Aliens why are you opening the pod even after reading the download?

  • @evilcedar9231
    @evilcedar9231 Рік тому

    I would love to see Agro Squirrel Narate a tv show about aliens. Maybe something like Outer Limits or Amazing Stories.

  • @cameltanker1286
    @cameltanker1286 Рік тому

    Been watching them for a thousand years and they do not know what the species calls itself? I'm calling bullshit!

  • @Inufan2005
    @Inufan2005 Рік тому +2

    Ha I knew it was cats. 🤣

  • @MidnightSmoke
    @MidnightSmoke Рік тому +2

    Cats? Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

  • @steeltalen3486
    @steeltalen3486 Рік тому +2

    Dang so that's what happend to that guy well you messed with Sneaky makes sense to me

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 Рік тому +1

    For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

  • @Duke00x
    @Duke00x 9 місяців тому

    Sadly I figured out the twist to the second story really early on making it a lot less fun/funny. But a good story none the less

  • @z3r0t0l3r4ns
    @z3r0t0l3r4ns Рік тому +1

    I saw it coming pretty early in the 2nd story, still funny though.

  • @ImOwenWilson
    @ImOwenWilson Рік тому +2

    “They can’t even cooperate with their own kind unless they are within their mating season. Even then cooperation typically happens begrudgingly”
    Lmao the author is *very* married

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Рік тому

    Thank you for the reading

  • @jaytonobrien6325
    @jaytonobrien6325 Рік тому

    Terrans and irony... in hindsight should've seen it coming

  • @beingsneaky
    @beingsneaky 10 місяців тому

    Ah, yes, cats using humans as slaves..

  • @solar7927
    @solar7927 Рік тому

    We have a mating season?

  • @TheRealInscrutable
    @TheRealInscrutable 4 місяці тому

    200K

  • @Lefteyeofgia
    @Lefteyeofgia Рік тому

    🍊

  • @genericuser984
    @genericuser984 Рік тому

    cool

  • @dwwolf4636
    @dwwolf4636 Рік тому +2

    Story 2 = cats or dogs ?

    • @Jason-sm4oc
      @Jason-sm4oc Рік тому

      Dogs have owners.
      Cats have staff...

    • @hohenzollern6025
      @hohenzollern6025 Рік тому

      @@Jason-sm4oc True...
      But if they had been watching they would have known the very first terran to orbit the planet in a space craft was a dog named Laika.

  • @SLEPhoto
    @SLEPhoto Рік тому

    LOL well (looking at the furry orange lump on my feet) we are their slaves

  • @WingManFang1
    @WingManFang1 Рік тому +1

    Paws! They really mistakened cats for the Dominant species? Also with all our technology they called cats superior when we are the brains of the operation? 😂

  • @DubiousFIN
    @DubiousFIN Рік тому +1

    The cat story is written by a catfish lol

    • @CatFish21sm
      @CatFish21sm Рік тому +1

      Yes, yes it is. What about that?

    • @DubiousFIN
      @DubiousFIN Рік тому +1

      @@CatFish21sm a catfish has appeared :O

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 Рік тому +1

    For the Algorithm11!

  • @willgallatin2802
    @willgallatin2802 Рік тому

    ROFLMFAO!!! *meow*

  • @TheJeikou
    @TheJeikou Рік тому +2

    Comment

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Рік тому

    12th, 17 May 2023

  • @brianmorisset4489
    @brianmorisset4489 Рік тому

    Algorithm

  • @slimeinabox
    @slimeinabox Рік тому +1

    These xeno’s “observing us for thousands of tears” and coming down with decisions without knowing anything about our culture or psychology. LAZY creatures.

    • @slimeinabox
      @slimeinabox Рік тому

      Lol the plot twist. Or their just that stupid…

  • @michaelmasuka4271
    @michaelmasuka4271 Рік тому

    Thanks man. You and Morgan freeman should narrate everything. I think you're actually a bit more expressive.