Thank you Michelle At 70+ I have not only found my logical brain. With your video I can live it. I now after so many years of doubts Believe in My truth. Than you thank you 🤩
Record a few of those nasty conversations discreetly on your cellphone and that is another way that will “prove your truth”. Just having that without showing it to anyone is so comforting and takes a load off your shoulders. It’s like a diamond 💎. Great video - thank you
Laura C I've learnt that there are different types and a lot of them react automatically with no self-awareness at all though. I view it mainly as a self-defence mechanism and one highly narcissistic individual I used to know told me when he feels hurt it by someone it makes him want to immediately do it back whether he's wrong, or not. He also informed that his father used to put him down a lot and his sister has trauma related issues as well, which is extremely sad. 😥
When I screwed up in dance numbers in rehearsals I was picked on, but when I got everything right, not one word! I knew I was dealing with a narc a couple of months ago - now I KNOW. It makes it so much easier !
The last point resonated with me. My ex didn’t trust me. She thought that I couldn’t be friends with a girl without more intention. I do have a lot of friends that are girls. She just could never get it through. She has been cheated on in the past so I understand why. But trying to convince her otherwise did not ever happen. I’m allowed to have friends and be trusted. Afterwards I have had to revalidate myself with friends and others. People tell me how there was abuse and insecurity. I know this but I still needed to re hear it for my own thoughts.
As a result I wasn’t able to interact with my friends on social media. If I liked a picture of my friends I was “showing that I wanted them.” According to her. When I refuted that what about if you like a comment from a guy saying “oh you’re so beautiful” with her logic she said “that’s completely different.” I knew my truth, you can like a comment or picture without wanting to screw someone. -.-
I can maintain calmness in discussions with me person , however it's the next few days that I feel like I have a hangover in a sense. I've learned so much and appreciate your guidance, thank you
Mine would sit in silence and have a look of unhappiness on his face when we would go out to places where he knew no one. It would make me so uncomfortable. He knew I would ask what was wrong and he would pretend nothing was wrong. When we would go to places where he knew people he would be happy and jovial and act so happy. Anytime we would go out for family activities and have fun, the moment we pulled in to our driveway he would immediately act some way or do something to undo everyone’s fun, up set the kids, stress everyone out and disrupt the atmosphere.
Wow, you're awesome. I've been watching the u and others for awhile since I learned my husband is high on the scale. This is a great video. I'm resonating big time. Thank you. It's moments like this that make me feel like I'm going to make it. Just this morning I was thinking to myself, "I'm for sure the narcissist." I mean I know I have issues too and do some messed up stuff. Which he's always tried to and been successful at making me feel horrible. But this video is finally validating some things for me. Love the analogies with the hunger and the other one, I can't remember now. Bless you. ❤🌈🌞
The way you express and explain everything is so clear and helpful, thank you for your insight and work on this from all of us fellow survivors of this icky thing we struggle to understand and move beyond 😊
I am so grateful for this video right now thank you so much. You were the first person to have ever truly explained what has been happening in my life these past 10 years and especially since his mask has been exposed this past two years you were the only one who explains it in a way that I can understand relate to and, learn from. Every other person out there talks in terms of narcissism in a very generally broad way or classic textbook definition. You truly understand it and get it and I am so grateful for you sharing your knowledge. Thank you.❤
wow this is so true i didn’t notice the shift and the set up was good why not use that know how towards something positive. This is horrible and disgusting. It’s hard to have your truth validated when it’s all of her friends and family that she set you up around.. I guess you call them her flying monkeys right….
8:44 Yes they never will compliment me, I'm an artist in so many ways, so on my artist journey I also did music, they never seen nothing good in my music, wouldn't share it even if I begged and now years later they claim they were the one there for me supporting me when I was doing music, I realize narcissists rewrite the past...
One thing i have learned for myself to hold on to my own "sanity" is by keeping a diary. For a whole year i logged every disagreement, or discussion and event that had a not so logical or pleasant outcome. When i go back and read what i wrote down (when im all calmed down) and read what transpired, Its usually quite obvious Im not the crazy, manipulative one.
You describe such a devastatingly complex situation so well. Normal logic does NOT apply, not at all - often just the opposite. And this is why so few understand. It's also why such abuse is a double whammy of pain because the odds of telling someone about it who GETS it are almost nil, and this includes many therapists. You are doing brilliant work, Michelle. BLESS YOU. ❤
Absolutely amazing video. This has been me, trying to get the narcissist in my life to stop twisting what happened into how he perceive things instead of what it really was. Drives me crazy and I can't anymore. I know my truth and I will not try to explain things to him anymore because he will always believe his twisted story.
The word narcissist is thrown around so flippantly by people. Im literally checking myself into a facility for my mental health at this point. I have nothing left and im in a state of complete breakdown. Ive been destroyed financially, emotionally, sexually. I cant believe i allowed this to happen to myself.
The information and advice in this message is invaluable Michelle! So very informative, accessible and true in every aspect you have discussed. I do not know how to Thank you. God bless you!
Michelle, your video is incredibly spot on. I didn't put it all together until our 14 year marriage was over. But, my ex used to sabotage me all of the time. Almost every time we got in a car to go somewhere he would find something to criticize or reprimand me with. I wasn't allowed to touch the radio, volume or climate controls. This always started something with him and opened the door to me "starting an arguement". By the time we got to where we were going, I was upset, cranky and sad. Then he would pop out of the car in a happy mood. Another incident was during girl scout cookie season. I miscounted the cookies on the tally sheet. I mean, who hasnt?! Well, it was only a 10 box mess up and I was calmly trying to figure out how to resolve. No biggie. But, he wouldn't let it drop. Over and over again he criticized me, told me that I was incompetent, that I screwed stuff up for people who expect the cookies they ordered. I stayed calm. But when he said that our daughter couldn't be in scouts the following year because of my small miscount, I snapped. I gave him what he was looking for. Then he blew up horribly. It was ridiculous and so out of line and unnecessary. He even went on and on about my parenting trying to crush me. LIED by saying the neighbors had an intervention to talk to him about how I let my child walk all over me and that I need to be better. I confronted the neighbors during the divorce and they were floored that he would say that and didn't agree at all with it. I know my truth. He just wanted me to snap and fall apart. SABOTAGE.
I actually went as far as doing this😢 but the place ended up not keeping me they felt nothing was wrong with me. Seriously thought i was truly crazy like my mother really was
Darlene Cane I don't have time to write as much as I'd like to now and it's probably best that I don't anyway, due to being triggered. I mainly want to mention that I did end up in a psychiatric ward after attempting to take my own life when I was about 15 years old, then was taken twice more in the country I've lived in for many years. Unfortunately, I was re-traumatised in a huge way though and nearly lost my life again in one of them! It seemed like most of the staff were highly narcissistic, or worse, so lacked empathy. They didn't seem to understand childhood trauma issues at all either. Mind you, it is the medical model and they believe in the chemical imbalance in the brain theory, which has been proven wrong. ❤
I got so over trying to speak my truth to narcissists in my life, i either cut them out or have little to do with them. Once you find your own strength and you know what happened and happens, you dont need them to recognise anything anymore. You dont deserve the abuse, you can stand on your own 2 feet. You can do it without bullying someone into doing your bidding and not freaking out if things dont go your way. People who cant take responsibility for their calculated actions, lack of boundaries, vindictive plots of revenge when they dont get what they want even if theyre doing the bad things, then cut them out.
I have definitely tried to hard to get the narcissists in my life to see the truth. It has destroyed the peace in me. But I can learn from this and not repeat those mistakes
They want to mold you in to them which means its energy exchange basically...take your good and give there bad toyou so that they can make you look bad and them good while actually being the bad guy themselves.tjey do this because they want to justify there behaviour with others.its very painful for the victim when he or she is aware of this. Knowing the truth .
He took me to his company Christmas party once, and I was so excited to go with him. I dressed really nice and looked my best. I got in the car and he was in a sullen, bad mood and didn’t tell me I looked beautiful or anything, Then we get there and he ignored me the whole time. I felt like crap. I went outside and called a friend it was so bad. Then at the end we got in the car and I mentioned it to him. He had a pseudo explanation and started acting nice. Gaslighting. Which is one of the many times he did it, which he admitted to during his discard bomb that he dropped on me out of nowhere. He admitted to every NPD tactic that is used. The only thing he didn’t say is, “bad news, I’m a Narcissist, and you’ve been punked.” However, it was like, “ok, the show is over.” He refused to discuss it with me any further and has basically no empathy for the fact that he just ended an 8 year relationship and engagement and said it was all a lie. I can’t believe how cold hearted he really is. This person actually works in the mental health industry! 😱🤷♀️
OMG! I wanted to comment that I know how you feel because the narc I suffered through did a similar thing. After two years of driving me crazy he said that he came back into my life for the sole purpose of destroying it and his work here was done and then he just left. I was floored! But your narc works in the mental health field??? That’s so friggin scary!
You explain things so well and I can relate exactly to them. It literally enables me to keep growing and changing to be able to deal effectively with living with a mad man. It is a life line. Thank you.
This is a huge learning lesson for me. I often go to a close friend to get validation and feel i need to prove my truth. When i get to talk about my traumatic relationship i feel better but the feeling of proving what happened to me doesn't stop.
After a long miserable marriage my narc managed to isolate me (we moved to a remote area) a little too much for a little too long. And that backfired on him. Because in that misery I learned to rely on my own validation of the events again. I started to notice the patterns of his behaviours - all that you described, the way you described it and even though I didn't understand yet what is happening and why, I started to understand and realise, it's not me and to work on leaving that relationship. Only much later I found a video on narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and baiting which suddenly made so much sense and I realised, what he is, why he did what he did to me and helped me to find ways to protect myself while I can't go no contact. Your videos are spot on and extremely valuable for everyone trying to figure out, what is actually happening to them. I can see the pain of that abuse still in your eyes as you speak about it, so even more thanks for overcoming that hurt and making this content for us.
My truth was that living with and growing up with a schizophrenic bpd adopted sibling, since infancy, was harming me in every way imaginable. Where his adopted mother let it happen and would not find a permanent solution to manage him. She never would admit that he was detrimental to my life, my mind, and my future and she kept him in the same home with us. I now take care of him as an adult. Got him as independent as possible. He was so manipulative he took her away from even me. Thank you for this video. It's wonderful to finally feel understood. Some times people's good intentions are not always the best idea when it hurts other people's innocent lives. My childhood? Chaotic. And I'm starting a new life. I see the reason why I always give in now. My advice to anyone thinking that this is a good idea, please don't for the healthy child's sake. It's just not right and was never fair to my mental health.
4:36 And no one on the outside sees it as defending yourself, they see it as you are arguing with them... Then others invalidate you by saying 'y'all arguing' when you are not arguing you are defending yourself against the lies, and it's usually after they have done so much and you finally give in to addressing it...
Some people even tell you to embrace the new damaged you without knowing the best beautiful you which u used to be..i have seen so many preachers telling you to embrace new u thinking and assuming that the past u was some how bad
They all need to be placed in straight jackets. I have several in my life but I’ve placed boundaries for me! They need help but will never get it! So happy God has revealed to me with WHAT I’m dealing with.
Oh my god!! Thank you so much! You just saved my life and the life of my daughter. My girlfriend, who unfortunately lives with me, has been doing all three of these things to me. I was losing my fing mind!! At least I thought I was
This is an excellent explanation and so helpful. Especially the part about them creating your reality ie no-one believes you simply because they created your circle and then got there first, saying those things about you instead. 🙄 Thank you 🥳
Ugh. I just spent the better part of the last 3 months learning a new job. I remember the day the mask first dropped and his (boss) demeanor toward me switched and never went back to the initial, kind, patient, supportive guy. In that short span of 3 months, I was quickly triggered into a state of confusion, brain fogginess, inability to retain what I was learning, freezing up mentally and feeling scared and emotional and really REALLY stupid and inept. Not how I normally am at all. Of course he fired me after I’d spent for hotel stays to get training that never materialized and now refuses to reimburse me. After one week I’m back to normal, and realize what happened, but for a time I truly thought I had lost my ability to work like a normal person! It was so subtle too and I know the other person in the office hadn’t a clue how he had put us against one another and was subtly messing with my mind. A horrid, demoralizing. experience
I lost my executive function 😂😂. I've been in survival mode all this time since at least 9/2022. "But Baby!!!!! I'm a Beast!!!" No, not really. REALLY, you are just a bad man. I am the beast now 😉🤫.
Partner making you a drink & asking if your okay ...( first time in five years is insane ) 😳 just because someone is there and they want to look like a nice guy.. Makes me want to vomit 🤢
Before the event is negative crazy . During the event where people can observe it’s noticeable nice. But after the event it’s additional reinforcing the original crazy negative assumptions with some more…
You have no idea the magnitude of abuse i been through my whole life but nothing comes close to the wickedest of abuse that words cannot describe what Jehovahs witnesses did to my daughter mother and me for broadcast tv with plausible deniability every step of the way.
A baby just got burped that was amazingly point on lmao.i you.used that in my relationship as survivel .man child has been burped .now can we move forward .😏
thanks so much Michelle, i always try to proof my reality even if it is talking to myself. i wont do it anymore. my sis told me "if you have an deadlocked position and your Mom has that too you will not find together again" she doesent get the abuse so i let her live in her Beauty flower world. i love my sis and dont wanna get my reality twisted and secound get on her nerves.
Sure such nasty behaviour is wrong, but is it irrational ? If someone is flexing their body language at you and you stay calm or even do nothing then you actually reflect their body language. Since then someone needs to think about why that tactic does not work. It is like acting out to a mirror that is supposed to break because someone does not like the image. It is of course no fun but i don't think it is irrational.
Sorry that you were abused by a narcissist, but truthfully, I don’t think I could look for advice from someone, a therapist, who only knows about narcissistic abuse from books and courses.
You make no sense, first you say sorry you were abused by narcissist then you say hard to take advice from someone only learned from books .which is it ? Do you even know
@@claudiaeason9502, yes, this was poorly written. I believe I was saying my sympathies are genuinely with someone who has suffered Narcissistic Abuse, AND I couldn’t look for advice from someone who doesn’t have first hand experience with a Narcissist. It’s been a year since I watched this video and made this comment, but I absolutely respect Michelle’s UA-cam channel videos, and know that she herself has first hand experience with Narcissistic Abuse. I’ve had plenty of gaslighting experience with people who don’t understand Covert Narcissism telling me about how to handle myself when dealing with the Narc.
Hearing all this is starting to make me feel like I can breathe again. Its helping me to see things that were so confusing. My mind still wants to revert back to the illogical which is perplexing... 😕🤔🫥🫣😶
Thank you Michelle
At 70+ I have not only found my logical brain.
With your video I can live it.
I now after so many years of doubts Believe in My truth.
Than you thank you 🤩
This comment made my day! I am soooo happy for you =D You've got this!!!!
Hug hug!!!
Record a few of those nasty conversations discreetly on your cellphone and that is another way that will “prove your truth”. Just having that without showing it to anyone is so comforting and takes a load off your shoulders. It’s like a diamond 💎. Great video - thank you
This makes me furious that its intentional...like they can turn it on and off like a spicket or light switch.
Laura C I've learnt that there are different types and a lot of them react automatically with no self-awareness at all though.
I view it mainly as a self-defence mechanism and one highly narcissistic individual I used to know told me when he feels hurt it by someone it makes him want to immediately do it back whether he's wrong, or not.
He also informed that his father used to put him down a lot and his sister has trauma related issues as well, which is extremely sad. 😥
When I screwed up in dance numbers in rehearsals I was picked on, but when I got everything right, not one word! I knew I was dealing with a narc a couple of months ago - now I KNOW. It makes it so much easier !
The last point resonated with me. My ex didn’t trust me. She thought that I couldn’t be friends with a girl without more intention. I do have a lot of friends that are girls. She just could never get it through. She has been cheated on in the past so I understand why. But trying to convince her otherwise did not ever happen. I’m allowed to have friends and be trusted.
Afterwards I have had to revalidate myself with friends and others. People tell me how there was abuse and insecurity. I know this but I still needed to re hear it for my own thoughts.
As a result I wasn’t able to interact with my friends on social media. If I liked a picture of my friends I was “showing that I wanted them.” According to her. When I refuted that what about if you like a comment from a guy saying “oh you’re so beautiful” with her logic she said “that’s completely different.”
I knew my truth, you can like a comment or picture without wanting to screw someone. -.-
I can relate on so many levels
So messed up, but so true
I can maintain calmness in discussions with me person , however it's the next few days that I feel like I have a hangover in a sense.
I've learned so much and appreciate your guidance, thank you
Mine would sit in silence and have a look of unhappiness on his face when we would go out to places where he knew no one. It would make me so uncomfortable. He knew I would ask what was wrong and he would pretend nothing was wrong. When we would go to places where he knew people he would be happy and jovial and act so happy. Anytime we would go out for family activities and have fun, the moment we pulled in to our driveway he would immediately act some way or do something to undo everyone’s fun, up set the kids, stress everyone out and disrupt the atmosphere.
incredible content thanks
Wow. Thank you. You are helping me heal. As I look back over events, I see things so clearly now.
4:15 I'm a martial artist, so I envision it like they are trying to make you put your fists up and get in that 'ready stance' to defend yourself...
Wow, you're awesome. I've been watching the u and others for awhile since I learned my husband is high on the scale. This is a great video. I'm resonating big time. Thank you. It's moments like this that make me feel like I'm going to make it. Just this morning I was thinking to myself, "I'm for sure the narcissist." I mean I know I have issues too and do some messed up stuff. Which he's always tried to and been successful at making me feel horrible. But this video is finally validating some things for me. Love the analogies with the hunger and the other one, I can't remember now. Bless you. ❤🌈🌞
The way you express and explain everything is so clear and helpful, thank you for your insight and work on this from all of us fellow survivors of this icky thing we struggle to understand and move beyond 😊
I am so grateful for this video right now thank you so much. You were the first person to have ever truly explained what has been happening in my life these past 10 years and especially since his mask has been exposed this past two years you were the only one who explains it in a way that I can understand relate to and, learn from.
Every other person out there talks in terms of narcissism in a very generally broad way or classic textbook definition.
You truly understand it and get it and I am so grateful for you sharing your knowledge. Thank you.❤
wow this is so true i didn’t notice the shift and the set up was good why not use that know how towards something positive. This is horrible and disgusting. It’s hard to have your truth validated when it’s all of her friends and family that she set you up around.. I guess you call them her flying monkeys right….
thank you .....
8:44 Yes they never will compliment me, I'm an artist in so many ways, so on my artist journey I also did music, they never seen nothing good in my music, wouldn't share it even if I begged and now years later they claim they were the one there for me supporting me when I was doing music, I realize narcissists rewrite the past...
😥
I'm stuck on trying to prove... Its almost beyond my control. How to resolve? With healthier connection? I need to meet my own craving
from one sociopath to another, girl it's in your eyes.
lol
Rosie Aeryn I've noticed that Michele has beautiful brown eyes, like me! ☺
@@cyndigooch1162 squad
Im grateful for this
Discribed my ex to the t
EXCELLENT VIDEO ….Thank You 🙏❤️
One thing i have learned for myself to hold on to my own "sanity" is by keeping a diary. For a whole year i logged every disagreement, or discussion and event that had a not so logical or pleasant outcome. When i go back and read what i wrote down (when im all calmed down) and read what transpired, Its usually quite obvious Im not the crazy, manipulative one.
You describe such a devastatingly complex situation so well. Normal logic does NOT apply, not at all - often just the opposite. And this is why so few understand. It's also why such abuse is a double whammy of pain because the odds of telling someone about it who GETS it are almost nil, and this includes many therapists. You are doing brilliant work, Michelle. BLESS YOU. ❤
This video makes me so glad my narc was overt. Everyone around me recognized the abuse long before I did
Me too. I was blind to it 😞
@@vexplays9461 we were trauma bonded
I went from a covert situation to an overt situation and my brain went "Wait? what?! You're not even trying to hide this shit?" xD
; l
Good point… it’s very hard when nobody believes u…
They’ll drive you crazy if you keep letting them run you over Thank you Michele 🕊Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁
Absolutely amazing video. This has been me, trying to get the narcissist in my life to stop twisting what happened into how he perceive things instead of what it really was. Drives me crazy and I can't anymore. I know my truth and I will not try to explain things to him anymore because he will always believe his twisted story.
I could have written this comment myself. It’s absolutely insane how they do that. And I have gotten to that same point. I will not!
He use to do that to me allllllll the time. 🤦🏽♀️ I thought I was really going crazy and experiencing early signs of alzheimers.
The word narcissist is thrown around so flippantly by people. Im literally checking myself into a facility for my mental health at this point. I have nothing left and im in a state of complete breakdown. Ive been destroyed financially, emotionally, sexually. I cant believe i allowed this to happen to myself.
The information and advice in this message is invaluable Michelle! So very informative, accessible and true in every aspect you have discussed. I do not know how to Thank you. God bless you!
Michelle, your video is incredibly spot on. I didn't put it all together until our 14 year marriage was over. But, my ex used to sabotage me all of the time. Almost every time we got in a car to go somewhere he would find something to criticize or reprimand me with. I wasn't allowed to touch the radio, volume or climate controls. This always started something with him and opened the door to me "starting an arguement". By the time we got to where we were going, I was upset, cranky and sad. Then he would pop out of the car in a happy mood. Another incident was during girl scout cookie season. I miscounted the cookies on the tally sheet. I mean, who hasnt?! Well, it was only a 10 box mess up and I was calmly trying to figure out how to resolve. No biggie. But, he wouldn't let it drop. Over and over again he criticized me, told me that I was incompetent, that I screwed stuff up for people who expect the cookies they ordered. I stayed calm. But when he said that our daughter couldn't be in scouts the following year because of my small miscount, I snapped. I gave him what he was looking for. Then he blew up horribly. It was ridiculous and so out of line and unnecessary. He even went on and on about my parenting trying to crush me. LIED by saying the neighbors had an intervention to talk to him about how I let my child walk all over me and that I need to be better. I confronted the neighbors during the divorce and they were floored that he would say that and didn't agree at all with it. I know my truth. He just wanted me to snap and fall apart. SABOTAGE.
Oh my gosh! I can't how fast he turned on you and got so dirty at being evil. The spiral they take us on is brutal!
I can identify. At one point I actually considered signing myself into a psych ward
I actually went as far as doing this😢 but the place ended up not keeping me they felt nothing was wrong with me. Seriously thought i was truly crazy like my mother really was
@@gingettesimpson984 that’s so sad!
Me, too.
Darlene Cane I don't have time to write as much as I'd like to now and it's probably best that I don't anyway, due to being triggered.
I mainly want to mention that I did end up in a psychiatric ward after attempting to take my own life when I was about 15 years old, then was taken twice more in the country I've lived in for many years.
Unfortunately, I was re-traumatised in a huge way though and nearly lost my life again in one of them! It seemed like most of the staff were highly narcissistic, or worse, so lacked empathy. They didn't seem to understand childhood trauma issues at all either.
Mind you, it is the medical model and they believe in the chemical imbalance in the brain theory, which has been proven wrong. ❤
I believe you.
I got so over trying to speak my truth to narcissists in my life, i either cut them out or have little to do with them. Once you find your own strength and you know what happened and happens, you dont need them to recognise anything anymore. You dont deserve the abuse, you can stand on your own 2 feet. You can do it without bullying someone into doing your bidding and not freaking out if things dont go your way. People who cant take responsibility for their calculated actions, lack of boundaries, vindictive plots of revenge when they dont get what they want even if theyre doing the bad things, then cut them out.
I have definitely tried to hard to get the narcissists in my life to see the truth. It has destroyed the peace in me. But I can learn from this and not repeat those mistakes
They want to mold you in to them which means its energy exchange basically...take your good and give there bad toyou so that they can make you look bad and them good while actually being the bad guy themselves.tjey do this because they want to justify there behaviour with others.its very painful for the victim when he or she is aware of this. Knowing the truth .
He took me to his company Christmas party once, and I was so excited to go with him. I dressed really nice and looked my best. I got in the car and he was in a sullen, bad mood and didn’t tell me I looked beautiful or anything, Then we get there and he ignored me the whole time. I felt like crap. I went outside and called a friend it was so bad. Then at the end we got in the car and I mentioned it to him. He had a pseudo explanation and started acting nice. Gaslighting. Which is one of the many times he did it, which he admitted to during his discard bomb that he dropped on me out of nowhere. He admitted to every NPD tactic that is used. The only thing he didn’t say is, “bad news, I’m a Narcissist, and you’ve been punked.” However, it was like, “ok, the show is over.” He refused to discuss it with me any further and has basically no empathy for the fact that he just ended an 8 year relationship and engagement and said it was all a lie. I can’t believe how cold hearted he really is. This person actually works in the mental health industry! 😱🤷♀️
Wow
OMG! I wanted to comment that I know how you feel because the narc I suffered through did a similar thing. After two years of driving me crazy he said that he came back into my life for the sole purpose of destroying it and his work here was done and then he just left. I was floored!
But your narc works in the mental health field??? That’s so friggin scary!
All this happens while "they" preach, "Oh i would never want to change you, I "love" you just as you are"...
This happens to me on a daily basis I can never get a word in edgewise it always gets turned around on and nothing gets solved😢😢😢
You explain things so well and I can relate exactly to them. It literally enables me to keep growing and changing to be able to deal effectively with living with a mad man. It is a life line. Thank you.
Everything you said is so so true. I am lucky to have you dear x.
Yes! I was set up every time we went out, so that I seemed like a moody b%$# and he was the outgoing fun loving guy.
This is excellent Michele, thank you. So well explained with such relevant examples. Thank you so much.
10:10 Painting a false image of you...
This is a huge learning lesson for me. I often go to a close friend to get validation and feel i need to prove my truth. When i get to talk about my traumatic relationship i feel better but the feeling of proving what happened to me doesn't stop.
After a long miserable marriage my narc managed to isolate me (we moved to a remote area) a little too much for a little too long. And that backfired on him. Because in that misery I learned to rely on my own validation of the events again. I started to notice the patterns of his behaviours - all that you described, the way you described it and even though I didn't understand yet what is happening and why, I started to understand and realise, it's not me and to work on leaving that relationship. Only much later I found a video on narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and baiting which suddenly made so much sense and I realised, what he is, why he did what he did to me and helped me to find ways to protect myself while I can't go no contact.
Your videos are spot on and extremely valuable for everyone trying to figure out, what is actually happening to them. I can see the pain of that abuse still in your eyes as you speak about it, so even more thanks for overcoming that hurt and making this content for us.
My truth was that living with and growing up with a schizophrenic bpd adopted sibling, since infancy, was harming me in every way imaginable. Where his adopted mother let it happen and would not find a permanent solution to manage him. She never would admit that he was detrimental to my life, my mind, and my future and she kept him in the same home with us. I now take care of him as an adult. Got him as independent as possible. He was so manipulative he took her away from even me. Thank you for this video. It's wonderful to finally feel understood. Some times people's good intentions are not always the best idea when it hurts other people's innocent lives. My childhood? Chaotic. And I'm starting a new life. I see the reason why I always give in now. My advice to anyone thinking that this is a good idea, please don't for the healthy child's sake. It's just not right and was never fair to my mental health.
4:36 And no one on the outside sees it as defending yourself, they see it as you are arguing with them...
Then others invalidate you by saying 'y'all arguing' when you are not arguing you are defending yourself against the lies, and it's usually after they have done so much and you finally give in to addressing it...
Would you ever have your live streams in the thrived school in the evenings? I work in the daytime and would never be able to participate otherwise.
In December our live meetings are at 4:00 p.m. EDT - Sunday, Tuesday and Fridays =D
Some people even tell you to embrace the new damaged you without knowing the best beautiful you which u used to be..i have seen so many preachers telling you to embrace new u thinking and assuming that the past u was some how bad
They all need to be placed in straight jackets. I have several in my life but I’ve placed boundaries for me! They need help but will never get it! So happy God has revealed to me with WHAT I’m dealing with.
They change your brain
Oh my god!! Thank you so much! You just saved my life and the life of my daughter.
My girlfriend, who unfortunately lives with me, has been doing all three of these things to me. I was losing my fing mind!! At least I thought I was
I need serious help now to get her out
My daughter thinks I’m nuts bc of this woman
Thank you for this ❤️
This is an excellent explanation and so helpful. Especially the part about them creating your reality ie no-one believes you simply because they created your circle and then got there first, saying those things about you instead. 🙄
Thank you 🥳
Happy Thanksgiving Miss Michelle 😘😘😘😘
Ugh. I just spent the better part of the last 3 months learning a new job. I remember the day the mask first dropped and his (boss) demeanor toward me switched and never went back to the initial, kind, patient, supportive guy. In that short span of 3 months, I was quickly triggered into a state of confusion, brain fogginess, inability to retain what I was learning, freezing up mentally and feeling scared and emotional and really REALLY stupid and inept. Not how I normally am at all. Of course he fired me after I’d spent for hotel stays to get training that never materialized and now refuses to reimburse me. After one week I’m back to normal, and realize what happened, but for a time I truly thought I had lost my ability to work like a normal person! It was so subtle too and I know the other person in the office hadn’t a clue how he had put us against one another and was subtly messing with my mind. A horrid, demoralizing. experience
I lost my executive function
😂😂. I've been in survival mode all this time since at least 9/2022. "But Baby!!!!! I'm a Beast!!!" No, not really. REALLY, you are just a bad man.
I am the beast now 😉🤫.
Partner making you a drink & asking if your okay ...( first time in five years is insane ) 😳 just because someone is there and they want to look like a nice guy..
Makes me want to vomit 🤢
Brilliant
Thank you so much for this it was so helpful 💯😁
Before the event is negative crazy .
During the event where people can observe it’s noticeable nice.
But after the event it’s additional reinforcing the original crazy negative assumptions with some more…
I’ve already begun to limit my time and self around my Thing One and Thing Two 👍
You have no idea the magnitude of abuse i been through my whole life but nothing comes close to the wickedest of abuse that words cannot describe what Jehovahs witnesses did to my daughter mother and me for broadcast tv with plausible deniability every step of the way.
“Like a baby that just got burped”. 😂😂. I’m gonna use that one.
Wow this is exactly my husband 😮everything here
This is my whole family
One of the best videos to describe the event behaviours. Etc. And I've watched a ton
There are no one to talk to about my narcissistic husband children my family and his 😢
This was one of the most helpful videos in a while. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for brilliant advice 😊❤
5:00 Wow love that illustration!!!
Exactly what i am going through but no one to share with
A baby just got burped that was amazingly point on lmao.i you.used that in my relationship as survivel .man child has been burped .now can we move forward .😏
I’ve been watching a ton of videos on narcissism lately. This video is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Wow. Thank you so much
Oh my goodness! This is exactly what happened to me. I never understood what happened until now.
Exactly you hit it right on the head girl
your today’s look + outfit 👍😊
Facts I live it 😢
This is stunning.
Thank you for all the videos it’s exactly my husband and he’s getting really worse and becoming more difficult to deal with 😢
absolutely , it is so good to hear , so very helpful...love your details , holy cow they all the same patterns thank you so very much.
For years my sister tried to drive me crazy when I finally realized she was a covert narcissist she believed in me completely
You remind me of a Disney Princess and intelligent
This is making me feel like I didn't just make it up
thanks so much Michelle, i always try to proof my reality even if it is talking to myself. i wont do it anymore. my sis told me "if you have an deadlocked position and your Mom has that too you will not find together again" she doesent get the abuse so i let her live in her Beauty flower world. i love my sis and dont wanna get my reality twisted and secound get on her nerves.
my Mother triangulated "he doesnt call me nomore" with my ex and my sis. thats why i wanted to explain that she is doing dirty on me. BUT now nomore!
What a woman you are
Sure such nasty behaviour is wrong, but is it irrational ? If someone is flexing their body language at you and you stay calm or even do nothing then you actually reflect their body language. Since then someone needs to think about why that tactic does not work. It is like acting out to a mirror that is supposed to break because someone does not like the image. It is of course no fun but i don't think it is irrational.
Thanks Michele for the messages hurt people hurt people, observe not absorb,I like your new hair style 👍 🙏
You are beautiful Michele
Sorry that you were abused by a narcissist, but truthfully, I don’t think I could look for advice from someone, a therapist, who only knows about narcissistic abuse from books and courses.
You make no sense, first you say sorry you were abused by narcissist then you say hard to take advice from someone only learned from books .which is it ? Do you even know
@@claudiaeason9502, yes, this was poorly written. I believe I was saying my sympathies are genuinely with someone who has suffered Narcissistic Abuse, AND I couldn’t look for advice from someone who doesn’t have first hand experience with a Narcissist. It’s been a year since I watched this video and made this comment, but I absolutely respect Michelle’s UA-cam channel videos, and know that she herself has first hand experience with Narcissistic Abuse. I’ve had plenty of gaslighting experience with people who don’t understand Covert Narcissism telling me about how to handle myself when dealing with the Narc.
@@claudiaeason9502 agreed! Even reading the elaborated reply makes no sense. It reminds of talking to my other half
Hearing all this is starting to make me feel like I can breathe again. Its helping me to see things that were so confusing. My mind still wants to revert back to the illogical which is perplexing... 😕🤔🫥🫣😶