I was married 33 years when my husband cheated on me. I thought that was the end of the world. I left him and I grieved like somebody died. And then I moved on. I met a narcissist in 2016. I didn't know what a narcissist was. I started looking up things he had done because I've never seen anything like it before in my life, and now he has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The man I lived with for 33 years was the Saint compared to what I'm going through. I know how bad he is for me yet I still struggle to move on. I'm watching your video right now. I just saw the very beginning and wanted to leave this message. Thank you for everything you help us with!
7:59 "It's frustrating to think that you have to do so much after a toxic relationship just to get yourself back to who you are, but ... you're worth it!"
100% we can get over they do not because they live in that perpetual cycle idealize, devalue,discard,rinse and repeat.The sun will shine for us not so much for Narcissist.
13:34. "Why am I not doing those things? For example, if you loved hiking, if you loved singing, if you loved a sport, instrument, anything, whatever the hobby was that you loved, think about what happened to it during the relationship. Were you able to do the things that you loved? No, not if you were with somebody high on the scale of malignant narcissism [because of] coercive abuse. ... You literally stop doing the things you love. ... You become erased as to who you really are. ... The person that stopped you from being you is out of your life, and yet now you are stopping you from being you because of these conditioned behaviors."
I've walked on eggshells, developed severe hyper vigilance, ruminated excessively, experienced anxiety, etc., etc., etc.!..... I have PTSD from my time spent in the military and each of these symptoms, that you described today, were exacerbated by the narcissist! Thank you Michelle for this very enlightening video! 💞
I feel so sorry for you , you need much more help and support, I wish you all the best , I want that for my kids n furbabies babies so il tell my child to do TikTok of her dog’s and my Romeo dog who’s had his eye taken away n he’s still loving 🥰 😭😭😭
My ex husband was a narcissist and a veteran ( which I have the utmost respect for!) But he became a narcissist from his family specifically his mother and stepdad. His mom had him so enmeshed with her which is very toxic on it's own. I wish you all the best with your recovery.
The strongest people I ever met was broken and shattered completely by a narccicist and has dealt with the horrible trauma bond even though it is sooooo soooo sooooo damn hard to do.i want you to know I think your sooo strong
trauma loops!💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 It is frustrating, it is sooo hard to heal from this all. Growing up with so much toxicity is like running into wall after wall after wall.
Superb explanation. But can you also add: The smearing The hovers The triangulation And the lack of resources and legal help while you're healing. We should add that bc too many of us are doing the work all the while dealing w relentless smears stalking triangulation and lack of adequate help in immediate community we reside.
Yes! How does one find local resources and legal help?! I am behind told that the state I live in favors women in divorce cases; and since it's so hard to prove narcissistic abuse (since there's no physical marks) then she would get custody of the children. They do not want to be with her, and I love them too much to let that happen.
@@forensicbadassprofiling So your great comment was fishing for a commercial plug? The man is right...most family courts, judges, lawyers, prosecutors/defenders, law enforcement, church-goers, and people generally favor and coddle abusive women, for all the under-the-radar crap they do and keep hidden. It's a biased, uphill battle when you're in the minority of being a man abused by a woman!
Help or even believed would be an improvement. She won. Her gaslighting is now the truth. Years of my life she’s reduced then and who I am into a fiction. One that i now have to work against. Show I’m not an insane stalker or creep. Because she pretty and popular and abused me in private cheated on me etc etc.
@@keithmace1 money. You need a lawyer who has dealt with female narcissists before. Think Johnny Depp. You need better than the low budget guy. Also try to film or record her if you communicate still.
I absolutely hate it when narcissistic parents damage their kids because they refuse to heal and now the kids have to do tons of work to fix, heal, & change our brains so much. There is so much that you lose.
21:15 - "... it's just not fair that I'm stuck and the abuser just moves on ...." I have been stuck in this place of resentment for years. While I agree that healing from this is the ultimate revenge against the abuser, I'm coming to realize that (for me) it will be the ultimate gift of proof that I actually care about ME, and therefore have value. I have felt worthless for so long, and the fact that I'm finally in a place of _wanting_ to heal from this trauma, proves beyond a doubt that I must think I have worth ... how else could I want to heal? I finally found a good therapist for me at the beginning of 2023, and have been progressing, but I continue to educate myself through various means. Michele, I really appreciate your videos, as you explain things in a very understandable and relatable way that just makes sense. Thank you for the information that you make available online ... it encourages and more importantly, it truly helps!
Thank you Michelle , we need time and patience to form those new nero-pathways in our brain to heal from narcisistic abuse. It is painful but worth it!
Fear of being hurt (though never realized) during one of my parents’ violent arguments is an early memory that prompted me to walk on eggshells (so as not to be a possible excuse for the next argument). Trembling uncontrollably in my bed during late night arguments and eating quickly to get at least a little dinner before an argument ruined it are early memories. Being forced to listen to my dad’s long tirades about those who did him wrong gave me the false belief that my voice was unimportant. As you say, these issues can be healed. For me, some residue always remains, e.g. becoming hyper vigilant when under stress, but learning to recognize that and apply loving attention to the cause lessens the distress and diminishes the frequency of the occurrences over time.
I have been in my fight or flight stage most ALL of my life! I suffer from GAD, Agoraphobia, PTSD and OCD...Not to mention I am a Cancer, Scorpio, Cancer signs. SO! With that said I have to admit I can be different and difficult! But I have been able to learn how NOT to flood everything.....it may seem like it to others, but no one has a clue to just how much I am still holding back! My mother was a Narcissist, and my last relationship of 5 years is the one that has brought my mother's worse to me BACK to MY NOW and Triples it with the Hell he put me through! I take responsibility for allowing it to happen over and over again! And the explanation of the replaying mind that you just gave is my Blessing! I have had to just try to figure it out on my own! Thank you for giving me a path to choose! I am still trying to figure out who I am....and I have Always tried to be a good person! But if I can't find a way to adjust my fight or flight!..... I'm going to cause premature death because body and mind can only take so much!! Thank You Again Many Blessings!!
The thing that baffles me is how you can have sooo much in common, so much potential for a great long term relationship but you see the narcissistic traits and now I'm always questioning how and what went wrong?!
Constant state or alertness, fight or flight, because she only knows defensiveness, criticism, angst, complaints, sarcasm, reverse guilt, dismissive, gaslighting, and in constant denial. She is reactive and constantly unstable. Its a nightmare. On top of the fact that she reminds me of a girl friend in the past who was murdered by her husband. She was the love of my life. 8 years forward, meet this girl that looks just like her, she loves me and shows certain "potentials" but the reality, she is not in her potential and it is hard to depart from someone who reminds me of the love of my life, all the while, is self serving, only cares about herself, knows men look at her constantly, and despite what she says and promises, does the opposite when things are going good and building. She says i "limit her", yet when my narcissistic supply diminishes because I travel and go live my life, her saddistic self tries to be sweet just to get attention and im just so sick of it. Im soooo sick of it. I am a great looking guy too, can get girls, but because of this past coming forward after a tragic situation for my ex, its a really difficult thing to handle. But i am now noticing she is who she is, and is not my ex. I dont want to ruminate anymore, she is completely self indulgant and I just dont want anything to do with this person anymore, even if it feels like my heart is broken at the idea of not marrying this women I feel has amazing potential, but is 25, and still in need to have space and find self healing on her own.
Seems like you are not with her for her but for how she reminds you of your love of your life dead ex... Maybe moving on will set the lady free to find someone who loves her for being her... And you can find someone who you love for themselves!!!
The sad thing is the potential is a fantasy. We can be attracted and then see inside the package is a broken mess. It's helpful to write a list of things you desire is a partner. 🙏
We make great emergency medicine nurses & doctors, & soldiers. Growing up in a high stress environment with abusive parents means you're the one who keeps calm & takes control of a traumatic situation while most people are losing their mind
Even when I've kept myself busy and tried to forget about the narcissistic abuse, I can still get triggered years later without warning and having a freeze response and still have hypervigilance. One thing I do notice is I have encountered a few guys who have pressured me for sex and to drink and while I have never given in to their demands due to my personal values, those experiences of coercion, bullying and being pressured has made me afraid to approach any guy I find attractive because I don't trust that they could potentially be a good person.
Thank you Michelle, its crazy to watch you again now 2 years after the end of my toxic relationship. I have come such a long way, but there is still a road to travel. I honestly believe that at one point your videos saved my life when I was stuck and could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are so spot on with your advice as always, my body is still recovering after 7 years of living with my sympathetic nervous system activated 24/7. I was so sick, mentally and physically. I still have some weeds in my garden, I can see some of the flowers bloom again which is something I thought would never happen. I honestly cannot believe I am alive, it is a miracle what we are capable of. If anyone is out there who believes they will never recover, weed that idea out right now, recovery is possible and you are worthy of it!
Letting myself remember the things I loved so much. Re-meeting myself. Loving those things made the heart of me. Things I loved about myself. That I had to bury basically. If these abusers think that is not okay? Just Imagine. I love this video. Thank you. ♥️
I took your at home course in CPTSD and watched some videos. I thought experience with narcissists were x s and my xs family. Then a family situation came up and I came to visit parent's. The situation showed me my mom was the first familiar experience with a narcissist. I never saw it until this particular situation where I staying with her and cari.g for my dad. Anyways now that I figured out my mom is one I think I'm gonna watch ALL your videos. Even though I know some of this stuff, wow I didn't even know my mom had so many narcissistic traits. I'm gonna remove myself from her and this will isolate me even further from my family, which was her goal since I stood up for myself. So win win I guess
Thank you Very Much for that Explanation, I feel like I have been running in freaking circles trying to figure out why I Still Think Certain Things are going to happen, etc…. I feel like I can finally, FINALLY move Forward, I have felt Emotionally Imprisoned and you’re explanation was the Answers I have been looking for, Literally YEARS NOW!😁 THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MICHELLE, YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!😁🦋
We can do this Yes we can We can fight to live again without killing our self to live Thank you Michele and the good Lord for all good people that make life worth fighting for and a good reason to live
My mother physically and emotionally abused me and so I grew up accepting the unacceptable. As a child, I lived on eggshells all the time, I knew nothing else ... so it just seemed the norm to then live like that in a relationship. I had no idea how to set boundaries or what that was supposed to even mean. I had no idea if someone was manipulating me. I lived and still live on high alert, survival mode, it is all I've ever known. I believed and might still do in a new relationship, that the issues were my fault due to me living my life !! I'm prime target for narc abuse. However, I've educated myself hugely now and still doing so. I hope I do not make the same mistake again because my life is at risk of being shortened if I do. My body reacted to the last narc, as well as my emotions. I developed heart palpitations, stomach aches and severe muscle pain which no Doctor could find a reason for. These stopped once I left the narc for good. I knew he was killing me slowly. Narcs are insidious.
I've just recently discovered your videos and this one is very needed. I'm 5 months away from ex-narc and still struggling to heal. It is a brutal journey. He's moved on and I'm stuck ruminating. 😢
“ I domt take naps”she used to say to me as if i was the laziest man on the planet. I took her opinions of me as gospel. I was working, making sn album, taking care of my mother, doing chores that were her responsibilities (packing her belongings, building her furniture) this wasn’t our stuff. It was hers. I brought uo one on the ikra thing that had rsken hours to oit together on my own and she mentioned later after marrying a rich man. She’d thrown it away. The message was pretty clear.
Just hearing you mention so many things that are natural to feel and experience after narcissistic abuse is so relieving to me. Thank you, this is so helpful. But wow it is still so difficult for me to even believe and say (and write) that it is the reality. it feels so unreal that what I've experienced my whole life is this: narcissistic abuse. it's so unreal, but makes so much sense at the same time. so confusing.
I literally spent the better part of a decade reeling from this disastrous loop after being emotionally, physically and spiritually attacked by a women I loved. I was finally feeling whole and ready to date, but not looking and along comes a young, attractive, single mother who leads me to believe she wants to marry me and have a family. I shared my past story with her and expressed how important it was that I didn’t have a reoccurring or similar relationship and set boundaries right away. She looked me in my eyes with tears and said; “I will never, ever do that to you…I promise you and my promises mean everything to me!” Well…suffice it to say…she did everything and much more than the women from a decade ago. This has been the worst experience of my life. Getting sober and clean from 22 years of substance abuse was not as painful as this. I’ve been ruminating nonstop all day, everyday for over 2.5 years now…when I was with her and when I leave. I’ve been 5 months no contact, but sadly I’m not doing better really. My heart feels shattered in a million little pieces. I would never wish this in an enemy.
Yes to your questions...but I have had only narcissistic people and abuse my whole life...From mother to daughter to husbands!! Still raw and crying now and feeling raw.
I have hard time moving on because it's my whole family - parents, siblings, cousins that discarded me and we are NC. It's hard to just move on from your whole past and family. I wouldn't care that much if I just walked away from some boyfriend.
Yes, it's hard...but at the same time I think it's worth it, you probably don't want to wake up at 70years old realising you wasted your life and effort on somebody who did not really care about you, it's just a senseless sacrifice
I’m not quite sure that I’ve ever been truly happy. But there is a time that I knew myself and was doing what made me feel…as good as possible. It’s just that I was alone, not lonely, but want a marriage.
Something goes into the room when such thing happens, and it’s nearly impossible to leave the area. It mind controls people to argue and cause bad result.
It is exactly what has happened to me. I was married to a covert narcissistic for 32 years. I have tried to heal. Ten years before I began my transformation dancing, practising sports and he got more hateful because I began feeling beautiful, happier and he envied me and began prioritizing others, triangulating , leaving in the cold, dark and I have to fight 4 years to convince him to leave. I knew that only separating the truth would pop up. Three years being separated he pretended He was becoming a better person to hoover me. I refuse and then he assumed publicaly a relationship with with an enemy to tried to destroy our marriage for 20 years. I knew through a photo in the Internet. I felt the pain similar to death because I deserved respect. This is a revenge he did to break my soul. After that I found out that a crush was also a covert narcissistic and I cut him off because I recognized the patterns before starting. I am traumatized and ask God to guide me to a healthy connection. I have worked on myself. Thanks for your work.
Thank you so much for this information. I am at the point of wondering how to deprogram myself of all the toxic input from the narcs in my life. My body does feel triggered these days which is a new thing for me. I am so used to the mental and emotional abuse from my subconscience that bodily triggers scare me now. So glad you brought that up in this video.
My dad was abusive narcissist. Eggshells. I get into a romantic relationship with a classic covert narcissist. Eggshells. I have been on edge my whole life and apparently attract the type that continue the cycle. The info available on UA-cam about narcissistic abuse did wonders for my peace of mind. I had no idea what in the hell was going on in the midst of chaos
Hi Michell you are 200 percent right I went through all of that For 60 years after I watch the videos about narcissist I learned what he is all about on Mother’s Day he punched me in the face bruised and all but I left Now i feel like I’m dead don’t exist I feel numb idont know what my last day’s holds im77 years not a spring chicken and I’m very tired Carmen thanks Michell
I would love it if you did more videos about the physiological effects of narcissistic abuse. Specifically hormones. And how to know if you’ve had a nervous breakdown and what the lingering effects of that might be. I haven’t been able to find too much info about it but the anxiety I feel now days is like nothing I’ve experienced before. Not sure how to manage it.
I definitely had a breakdown in 2016 after my friend of 30 years committed suicide. It took me to breaking point and depression. I never told anyone and definitely didn't want to talk to a doctor who was only going to put me on meds, one of the contributors to her death. I am married to a narc and my friend had her narc tendencies, had just gotten out of a religious cult led by a narc to realise the so called friend who coerced me into had only been using me and was a ripper covert narc. Problem is I am loyal and that gets me in trouble because they take advantage of that. I fell in a hole when I realised I had surrounded myself with them and then began to wonder if I was one too. Especially as my mother always gas lights me. Sorry big rant. It takes time and a lot of these videos to come to the understanding of what was happening and why. Menopause definitely did not help things! My health took a huge dive. Basically I now rely on God. If I didn't come to realise the importance of Jesus words I don't think I would have survived it all. Now I worry about the effects all of this has had on my children. I feel terribly guilty about that. I see certain behaviors manifest that are spot on in many videos. The narc husband is who he is and I have told them it's not right but still it's not really enough. I am directing them towards the Gospel and relying on God not man. My biggest mistake was trusting and leaning on man for all the answers to life. Best thing I ever did was stop that! These videos are definitely a huge blessing and helpful in understanding what has happened to us and why and direction to move on. The world is full of narcissists and these days you can't avoid them so learning to navigate them is really important. Wishing you all the best on your journey xx
@@m.j.2939 thank you for sharing. I too have suffered cult narcissistic abuse. It’s the most mind messing type because it comes in large groups. This pandemic is really reminiscent of a cult as well and thus super triggering. I totally hear you. We do the best we can until we know better then we do better. It’s all we can do. Lots of love 💕 💗💗💗💗 one day your children will understand just as I did with my own mother. I hold no resentment towards her. Only love, because I understand now just what was happening to her.
@@AmazonKC yes I know my Nanna was terrible to mum too. As for what is happening now on a global scale it IS a cult! Once you have experienced it you can spot it a mile away. Sadly it is easily done when you have all forms of MSM at your disposal. Over 12 months of abuse and gaslighting using illegal torture methods such as isolation and brainwashing on the hour every half an hour incessantly with no relief people didn't stand a chance. Demonizing anyone using critical thinking and logic outside of the mantra then using segregation and discrimination to punish anyone who doesn't follow. It's utterly disgraceful. Thanks for the reply 🤗
@@m.j.2939 Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing “global cult” and “High Control Group” tactics being used here. It’s like they’ve taken a page straight out of goebbles diary. The narcissistic abuse on a global scale is out of control and so many people are smiling and happy about it. It’s caused my anxiety to go through the roof. The standard self care techniques don’t quite seem to be enough to get through it anymore. I’m glad I’m at least not the only one noticing it.
Walking on eggshells.. apologizing for even existing. I always feel like my mother wants me to apologize for existing. Even to this day which is why I don’t think I can have much contact anymore. I’ve tried so hard and she’ll never get it.
Yes hyper viligence severely. The phone would ring and I'd literally jump so hard my whole body would jerk so hard. My family would haft to let me know they were coming up behind me b/c I would get so startled, I'd jump like someone scared the crap outta me!
TY Michelle. I've just been through 26 hrs of being married to a narcissist. Never knowing what I did wrong and feeling so used. I always knew something was wrong, but never knew what it was. You really opened my eyes to what I've been dealing with. Now I don't even know who I am, but i know I really need to get this person out of my head. This was a person that was sadistic, and I don't hear much about that type. Could you please tell us more about that type of personality.
Wow, I've just found your channel. This is my current situation. All of your words resonate with me, I'm feeling hopeful that your advice can help me xx
yes....for sure...emotionally unavailable entire ex, ex MIL, my dad, and even sons (my mom was very loving)..but all the men in my life- complete narcs.
Omg playing over and over never making sense of what I did wrong, even in each occurrence during relationship. Everything was always my fault in the relationship. So stuck!!! I live in heartbreak everyday and miss this man so bad & want to show this person I can be who he needs, I can do better when I know its not anything but toxic was a very toxic manipulative emotional abuse. I never knew what was gonna happen or what he'd find wrong. I could never question or even give an honest innocent opinion or suggestion about normal everyday things for fear of they'd flip out me! When will I get over this person! We have a child together and its a very nasty battle. It scares me for her.
This is my exact current situation!! Please find a community of women or safe people to talk to. Reading the Bible and prayer has helped me immensely and I was not religious at all in our relationship. Also going to start therapy!! Do things to help you grow don’t stay stuck please.
I've spent the last 15 years walking on eggshells, and even when you are in good spirits, the abuser looks to start some strife using one of the go to techniques like gaslighting.
It was so weird. I secluded myself from pretty much all people. I didn’t _want_ any “relationships.” The narcissist came and found me. Actually, she had had me on a leash for a long time. Only I didn’t know it. I guess I’m free of her now. Except for the legal liability she created for herself. 💼 But it’s still a big mess that I now have to mop up.
I have this feeling like i come o a holt every 5 seconds. Its like being stabbed in the stomach. Its awful i think this has been like this for over 30 years. Thank you for this information ❤
I would like to add, that it is difficult for me because we have been together for 45 years, it is the only life I know. Now at 63 I have to move on to what. I'm having a difficult time with this whole situation. Thanks for your video. Hope you help the youth.
My narc abusers were both parents mom is overt dad is covert ex husband also overt. I have healed enough to now have a healthy relationship but I can not break out of the loop and it is killing me I am also broke beyond so I cannot afford certain types of help. 😢
I thought I was all done being reminded of narc women. Then it happened again. I don't know when it's time to stop being reminded of this problem, but I got screwed over again and I don't like it. Help me!!!
How does one heal, after my abusive, narcissistic husband committed suicde. After his double life was exposed! And the people/women he was involved with lied to him. He said ' He could not live with himself, knowing what he has done to me.' He was cruel, abusive our whole marriage. At the end he was over the top evil. As he put it, playing cat and mouse games !
If anyone asked me the questions you posed to "us", I'd tell them to mind their own issues and get the heck out of my way RIGHT NOW...then disengage with them, they'd be dead to me.
Would you want to address the following. I’m not sure how to get the “fun me” back. Ex-husband had SUCH a tight grip on control that, even though one of the reasons he chose to marry me was that I could let go and let the silly, goofy me out, and he never could (or never would). The fun me Quicky got erased in the marriage. Then I was like him. Boring. Never being silly or truly being fun. He, however, at parties and such, gave the BIG IMPRESSION of being fun, because he “had” to be the center of attention. He “had” to keep the party moving. He was the self-appointed entertainer. Etc. But had they only known that all that show WAS…”just a show.” He just really did NOT know how to let go; or,…. More likely, was TERRIFIED of letting go. So, after a decade and a half of marriage, he had an affair with his assistant at work. And BOY! Did THEY EVER LET GO!! Beyond belief!! Where wild horses once could NOT get him out of his newspaper/football-watching chair,…now, wild horses would never be able to get him back IN that same chair! Naturally, he felt his soul was alive and awake (at its core). He combines the fun he flatly REFUSED to have with me…with his affair woman. So that was a GIANT WHAMMY of pain connected to “fun”. And now, I can’t seem to GET MY fun back. I can DO things (externally), sure. But on the inside,…I’m dead. How do I awaken and enliven MY Soul?!?
I am still walking on egg shells. My sister is a covert naracist who is also a retired consultant psychiatrist who relatives and friends simply seemingly have not the ability to see through. Flying monkeys just love to be around a retired consultant psychiatrist as this boosts their ego and status. There is absolutely no humility with naracists. They have a total false facade that nobody can see through. You have to cut yourself off totally from these negative comments and naracists. Naracists are all total liars and always will be. Never trust a charmer. Always remember your true value. Naracists are totally evil individuals who simply turn everything upside down. Your brain needs to be retrained to accept what is true and not the false narrative of naracists. Never believe a single statement that the naracist tells you. They mix lies and some truth together in an effort to totally confuse you. We need to fill our minds with positive thoughts. Today is today and yesterday is gone. This is a new day and there are new opportunities. Yes you rewire your brain and do new things. If you loved singing, you must also watch that you do not become part of a choir that is controlled by a naracist. These individuals always sow seeds of doubt in your mind. You are being 'conditioned' and manipulated by the naracist as a way to destroy who you are. You need to let who you where supposed to be shine through. This is exactly what the naracist hates. Not being allowed to show our emotions is another naracistic trick in order to keep you stuck in submission to them. Naracists are always angry because they have no empathy or regard for others. Making others feel unsafe and unsecue around them is just another way that they 'control' others. Put up totally high boundaries and 'move on'. Yes you may move forward slowly at first but remember that you are still moving forward away from your past. Yes it will take time, but you are moving in the right direction. There may be obstacles in the road that may temporarily 'trigger' your mind and start you ruminating about the past, but you must remember that an obstacle in the road does not stay there forever. All obstacles are either removed or there is an alternative route you can take to 'get around' the obstacles. Remember that it is your own 'personal' journey and not the journey of your best friend. Your journey is unique to you. There will be many who will want you to take the journey that they want you to take. Always be true to yourself and be very cautious when receiving 'advice' from others. Only you know all the details of your own situation in life. If others do not understand or do not 'get it', that's their problem and not your problem. Keep going forward and keep looking forward also. Life still has many opportunities for you and you will have an even richer and fulfilled life far greater than what you ever had in the past. Thank you for this video.
Its not just about what you dont do anymore, its the shell you become. I was a happy, funny outgoing person but my ex husbands abuse made me so sad and lost. I felt like a shell of a women.
“ Our subconscious mind is finishing what a narcissist started “ ! That’s so powerful !
I was married 33 years when my husband cheated on me. I thought that was the end of the world. I left him and I grieved like somebody died. And then I moved on. I met a narcissist in 2016. I didn't know what a narcissist was. I started looking up things he had done because I've never seen anything like it before in my life, and now he has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The man I lived with for 33 years was the Saint compared to what I'm going through. I know how bad he is for me yet I still struggle to move on. I'm watching your video right now. I just saw the very beginning and wanted to leave this message. Thank you for everything you help us with!
7:59 "It's frustrating to think that you have to do so much after a toxic relationship just to get yourself back to who you are, but ... you're worth it!"
Wow soooo right help us
100% we can get over they do not because they live in that perpetual cycle idealize, devalue,discard,rinse and repeat.The sun will shine for us not so much for Narcissist.
13:34. "Why am I not doing those things? For example, if you loved hiking, if you loved singing, if you loved a sport, instrument, anything, whatever the hobby was that you loved, think about what happened to it during the relationship. Were you able to do the things that you loved? No, not if you were with somebody high on the scale of malignant narcissism [because of] coercive abuse. ... You literally stop doing the things you love. ... You become erased as to who you really are. ... The person that stopped you from being you is out of your life, and yet now you are stopping you from being you because of these conditioned behaviors."
I've walked on eggshells, developed severe hyper vigilance, ruminated excessively, experienced anxiety, etc., etc., etc.!..... I have PTSD from my time spent in the military and each of these symptoms, that you described today, were exacerbated by the narcissist! Thank you Michelle for this very enlightening video! 💞
I feel so sorry for you , you need much more help and support, I wish you all the best , I want that for my kids n furbabies babies so il tell my child to do TikTok of her dog’s and my Romeo dog who’s had his eye taken away n he’s still loving 🥰 😭😭😭
Hey that's what I'm going through.
For your service thank you!!!
My ex husband was a narcissist and a veteran ( which I have the utmost respect for!) But he became a narcissist from his family specifically his mother and stepdad. His mom had him so enmeshed with her which is very toxic on it's own. I wish you all the best with your recovery.
🙋🙏
@WalkOutTV sorry to hear that, but ending up with narcissists and/or abusers somehow is true for many veterans and members of military families.
The strongest people I ever met was broken and shattered completely by a narccicist and has dealt with the horrible trauma bond even though it is sooooo soooo sooooo damn hard to do.i want you to know I think your sooo strong
trauma loops!💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
It is frustrating, it is sooo hard to heal from this all. Growing up with so much toxicity is like running into wall after wall after wall.
Superb explanation.
But can you also add:
The smearing
The hovers
The triangulation
And the lack of resources and legal help while you're healing.
We should add that bc too many of us are doing the work all the while dealing w relentless smears stalking triangulation and lack of adequate help in immediate community we reside.
Yes! How does one find local resources and legal help?!
I am behind told that the state I live in favors women in divorce cases; and since it's so hard to prove narcissistic abuse (since there's no physical marks) then she would get custody of the children. They do not want to be with her, and I love them too much to let that happen.
Well put !
@@forensicbadassprofiling So your great comment was fishing for a commercial plug?
The man is right...most family courts, judges, lawyers, prosecutors/defenders, law enforcement, church-goers, and people generally favor and coddle abusive women, for all the under-the-radar crap they do and keep hidden. It's a biased, uphill battle when you're in the minority of being a man abused by a woman!
Help or even believed would be an improvement. She won. Her gaslighting is now the truth. Years of my life she’s reduced then and who I am into a fiction. One that i now have to work against. Show I’m not an insane stalker or creep. Because she pretty and popular and abused me in private cheated on me etc etc.
@@keithmace1 money. You need a lawyer who has dealt with female narcissists before. Think Johnny Depp. You need better than the low budget guy. Also try to film or record her if you communicate still.
I've walked on eggshells for years.I am divorcing the narcissist now!!!🙏🙏
Definitely on eggshells, I was always anxious
I love how how authentic you are Michele. No music or annoying intros, or over editing or excessive b roll footage
I absolutely hate it when narcissistic parents damage their kids because they refuse to heal and now the kids have to do tons of work to fix, heal, & change our brains so much. There is so much that you lose.
21:15 - "... it's just not fair that I'm stuck and the abuser just moves on ...." I have been stuck in this place of resentment for years. While I agree that healing from this is the ultimate revenge against the abuser, I'm coming to realize that (for me) it will be the ultimate gift of proof that I actually care about ME, and therefore have value. I have felt worthless for so long, and the fact that I'm finally in a place of _wanting_ to heal from this trauma, proves beyond a doubt that I must think I have worth ... how else could I want to heal? I finally found a good therapist for me at the beginning of 2023, and have been progressing, but I continue to educate myself through various means.
Michele, I really appreciate your videos, as you explain things in a very understandable and relatable way that just makes sense. Thank you for the information that you make available online ... it encourages and more importantly, it truly helps!
Thank you Michelle , we need time and patience to form those new nero-pathways in our brain to heal from narcisistic abuse. It is painful but worth it!
Fear of being hurt (though never realized) during one of my parents’ violent arguments is an early memory that prompted me to walk on eggshells (so as not to be a possible excuse for the next argument). Trembling uncontrollably in my bed during late night arguments and eating quickly to get at least a little dinner before an argument ruined it are early memories. Being forced to listen to my dad’s long tirades about those who did him wrong gave me the false belief that my voice was unimportant. As you say, these issues can be healed. For me, some residue always remains, e.g. becoming hyper vigilant when under stress, but learning to recognize that and apply loving attention to the cause lessens the distress and diminishes the frequency of the occurrences over time.
I have been in my fight or flight stage most ALL of my life! I suffer from GAD, Agoraphobia, PTSD and OCD...Not to mention I am a Cancer, Scorpio, Cancer signs.
SO! With that said I have to admit I can be different and difficult! But I have been able to learn how NOT to flood everything.....it may seem like it to others, but no one has a clue to just how much I am still holding back!
My mother was a Narcissist, and my last relationship of 5 years is the one that has brought my mother's worse to me BACK to MY NOW and Triples it with the Hell he put me through!
I take responsibility for allowing it to happen over and over again!
And the explanation of the replaying mind that you just gave is my Blessing! I have had to just try to figure it out on my own! Thank you for giving me a path to choose!
I am still trying to figure out who I am....and I have Always tried to be a good person! But if I can't find a way to adjust my fight or flight!..... I'm going to cause premature death because body and mind can only take so much!!
Thank You Again Many Blessings!!
For me it is because the narcissists were my parents and as soon as I heal something more memories of abuse surface.
The thing that baffles me is how you can have sooo much in common, so much potential for a great long term relationship but you see the narcissistic traits and now I'm always questioning how and what went wrong?!
Constant state or alertness, fight or flight, because she only knows defensiveness, criticism, angst, complaints, sarcasm, reverse guilt, dismissive, gaslighting, and in constant denial. She is reactive and constantly unstable. Its a nightmare. On top of the fact that she reminds me of a girl friend in the past who was murdered by her husband. She was the love of my life. 8 years forward, meet this girl that looks just like her, she loves me and shows certain "potentials" but the reality, she is not in her potential and it is hard to depart from someone who reminds me of the love of my life, all the while, is self serving, only cares about herself, knows men look at her constantly, and despite what she says and promises, does the opposite when things are going good and building. She says i "limit her", yet when my narcissistic supply diminishes because I travel and go live my life, her saddistic self tries to be sweet just to get attention and im just so sick of it. Im soooo sick of it. I am a great looking guy too, can get girls, but because of this past coming forward after a tragic situation for my ex, its a really difficult thing to handle. But i am now noticing she is who she is, and is not my ex. I dont want to ruminate anymore, she is completely self indulgant and I just dont want anything to do with this person anymore, even if it feels like my heart is broken at the idea of not marrying this women I feel has amazing potential, but is 25, and still in need to have space and find self healing on her own.
Seems like you are not with her for her but for how she reminds you of your love of your life dead ex... Maybe moving on will set the lady free to find someone who loves her for being her... And you can find someone who you love for themselves!!!
Its the sarcasm for me
The sad thing is the potential is a fantasy. We can be attracted and then see inside the package is a broken mess. It's helpful to write a list of things you desire is a partner. 🙏
We make great emergency medicine nurses & doctors, & soldiers. Growing up in a high stress environment with abusive parents means you're the one who keeps calm & takes control of a traumatic situation while most people are losing their mind
Thank you so much for all your "support" through these videos, etc I tell everyone about your UA-cam channel ❤️
Even when I've kept myself busy and tried to forget about the narcissistic abuse, I can still get triggered years later without warning and having a freeze response and still have hypervigilance.
One thing I do notice is I have encountered a few guys who have pressured me for sex and to drink and while I have never given in to their demands due to my personal values, those experiences of coercion, bullying and being pressured has made me afraid to approach any guy I find attractive because I don't trust that they could potentially be a good person.
Pray about it. Also going places where people with high values gather & make new friends. 💞
This all resonates with me Sooooo much!!! 🙌😚 (i am so glad i never gave up on myself!!) 😘👌 ty
Thank you Michelle, its crazy to watch you again now 2 years after the end of my toxic relationship. I have come such a long way, but there is still a road to travel. I honestly believe that at one point your videos saved my life when I was stuck and could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are so spot on with your advice as always, my body is still recovering after 7 years of living with my sympathetic nervous system activated 24/7. I was so sick, mentally and physically.
I still have some weeds in my garden, I can see some of the flowers bloom again which is something I thought would never happen. I honestly cannot believe I am alive, it is a miracle what we are capable of. If anyone is out there who believes they will never recover, weed that idea out right now, recovery is possible and you are worthy of it!
Beautiful comment! Thank you for sharing!🌿🌹🌿
Letting myself remember the things I loved so much. Re-meeting myself. Loving those things made the heart of me. Things I loved about myself. That I had to bury basically. If these abusers think that is not okay? Just Imagine. I love this video. Thank you. ♥️
I took your at home course in CPTSD and watched some videos. I thought experience with narcissists were x s and my xs family. Then a family situation came up and I came to visit parent's. The situation showed me my mom was the first familiar experience with a narcissist. I never saw it until this particular situation where I staying with her and cari.g for my dad. Anyways now that I figured out my mom is one I think I'm gonna watch ALL your videos. Even though I know some of this stuff, wow I didn't even know my mom had so many narcissistic traits. I'm gonna remove myself from her and this will isolate me even further from my family, which was her goal since I stood up for myself. So win win I guess
Thank you Very Much for that Explanation, I feel like I have been running in freaking circles trying to figure out why I Still Think Certain Things are going to happen, etc…. I feel like I can finally, FINALLY move Forward, I have felt Emotionally Imprisoned and you’re explanation was the Answers I have been looking for, Literally YEARS NOW!😁 THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MICHELLE, YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!😁🦋
Freaking awesome indeed !
We can do this
Yes we can
We can fight to live again without killing our self to live
Thank you Michele and the good Lord for all good people that make life worth fighting for and a good reason to live
This is the best information to receive. You are so kind to explain this so clearly. You’ve helped me turn a huge corner. Thank you.
I just feel sad a defeated and devastated all the time.
Grateful to be happy joyous and free from all the narc abuse. Healing, growth and recovery is a daily job for me. A work in progress.
My mother physically and emotionally abused me and so I grew up accepting the unacceptable. As a child, I lived on eggshells all the time, I knew nothing else ... so it just seemed the norm to then live like that in a relationship. I had no idea how to set boundaries or what that was supposed to even mean. I had no idea if someone was manipulating me. I lived and still live on high alert, survival mode, it is all I've ever known. I believed and might still do in a new relationship, that the issues were my fault due to me living my life !! I'm prime target for narc abuse. However, I've educated myself hugely now and still doing so. I hope I do not make the same mistake again because my life is at risk of being shortened if I do. My body reacted to the last narc, as well as my emotions. I developed heart palpitations, stomach aches and severe muscle pain which no Doctor could find a reason for. These stopped once I left the narc for good. I knew he was killing me slowly. Narcs are insidious.
I've just recently discovered your videos and this one is very needed. I'm 5 months away from ex-narc and still struggling to heal. It is a brutal journey. He's moved on and I'm stuck ruminating. 😢
“ I domt take naps”she used to say to me as if i was the laziest man on the planet. I took her opinions of me as gospel. I was working, making sn album, taking care of my mother, doing chores that were her responsibilities (packing her belongings, building her furniture) this wasn’t our stuff. It was hers. I brought uo one on the ikra thing that had rsken hours to oit together on my own and she mentioned later after marrying a rich man. She’d thrown it away. The message was pretty clear.
Just hearing you mention so many things that are natural to feel and experience after narcissistic abuse is so relieving to me. Thank you, this is so helpful. But wow it is still so difficult for me to even believe and say (and write) that it is the reality. it feels so unreal that what I've experienced my whole life is this: narcissistic abuse. it's so unreal, but makes so much sense at the same time. so confusing.
I get stuck in anxiety loops. You are saying everything thank you ❤ I needed these videos so badly 🙏
I literally spent the better part of a decade reeling from this disastrous loop after being emotionally, physically and spiritually attacked by a women I loved. I was finally feeling whole and ready to date, but not looking and along comes a young, attractive, single mother who leads me to believe she wants to marry me and have a family. I shared my past story with her and expressed how important it was that I didn’t have a reoccurring or similar relationship and set boundaries right away. She looked me in my eyes with tears and said; “I will never, ever do that to you…I promise you and my promises mean everything to me!”
Well…suffice it to say…she did everything and much more than the women from a decade ago. This has been the worst experience of my life. Getting sober and clean from 22 years of substance abuse was not as painful as this. I’ve been ruminating nonstop all day, everyday for over 2.5 years now…when I was with her and when I leave. I’ve been 5 months no contact, but sadly I’m not doing better really. My heart feels shattered in a million little pieces. I would never wish this in an enemy.
Beautiful work and I can’t thank you enough 😇
I always wondered this about people that loved narcissist. How come they still obsessed. I’m glad you answered my question.
Never know what is going to happen day to day. Very stressful as a small child.
Yes to your questions...but I have had only narcissistic people and abuse my whole life...From mother to daughter to husbands!! Still raw and crying now and feeling raw.
Again, thank you Michele ! ❤❤
I have hard time moving on because it's my whole family - parents, siblings, cousins that discarded me and we are NC. It's hard to just move on from your whole past and family.
I wouldn't care that much if I just walked away from some boyfriend.
Yes, it's hard...but at the same time I think it's worth it, you probably don't want to wake up at 70years old realising you wasted your life and effort on somebody who did not really care about you, it's just a senseless sacrifice
I’m not quite sure that I’ve ever been truly happy.
But there is a time that I knew myself and was doing what made me feel…as good as possible. It’s just that I was alone, not lonely, but want a marriage.
Something goes into the room when such thing happens, and it’s nearly impossible to leave the area. It mind controls people to argue and cause bad result.
This subject on this video renders a book on and of itself. I could go on but this community probably knows. Thank you Michelle. You are pure gold
It is exactly what has happened to me. I was married to a covert narcissistic for 32 years. I have tried to heal. Ten years before I began my transformation dancing, practising sports and he got more hateful because I began feeling beautiful, happier and he envied me and began prioritizing others, triangulating , leaving in the cold, dark and I have to fight 4 years to convince him to leave. I knew that only separating the truth would pop up. Three years being separated he pretended He was becoming a better person to hoover me. I refuse and then he assumed publicaly a relationship with with an enemy to tried to destroy our marriage for 20 years. I knew through a photo in the Internet. I felt the pain similar to death because I deserved respect. This is a revenge he did to break my soul. After that I found out that a crush was also a covert narcissistic and I cut him off because I recognized the patterns before starting. I am traumatized and ask God to guide me to a healthy connection. I have worked on myself. Thanks for your work.
Thank you so much for this information. I am at the point of wondering how to deprogram myself of all the toxic input from the narcs in my life. My body does feel triggered these days which is a new thing for me. I am so used to the mental and emotional abuse from my subconscience that bodily triggers scare me now. So glad you brought that up in this video.
My dad was abusive narcissist. Eggshells. I get into a romantic relationship with a classic covert narcissist. Eggshells. I have been on edge my whole life and apparently attract the type that continue the cycle. The info available on UA-cam about narcissistic abuse did wonders for my peace of mind. I had no idea what in the hell was going on in the midst of chaos
Hi Michell you are 200 percent right I went through all of that For 60 years after I watch the videos about narcissist I learned what he is all about on Mother’s Day he punched me in the face bruised and all but I left
Now i feel like I’m dead don’t exist I feel numb idont know what my last day’s holds im77 years not a spring chicken and I’m very tired Carmen thanks Michell
I'm as fucked up as a football bat... But still healthier now on my worst days then I was on my best days with my narcissist ex-wife.
I would love it if you did more videos about the physiological effects of narcissistic abuse. Specifically hormones. And how to know if you’ve had a nervous breakdown and what the lingering effects of that might be. I haven’t been able to find too much info about it but the anxiety I feel now days is like nothing I’ve experienced before. Not sure how to manage it.
I definitely had a breakdown in 2016 after my friend of 30 years committed suicide. It took me to breaking point and depression. I never told anyone and definitely didn't want to talk to a doctor who was only going to put me on meds, one of the contributors to her death.
I am married to a narc and my friend had her narc tendencies, had just gotten out of a religious cult led by a narc to realise the so called friend who coerced me into had only been using me and was a ripper covert narc. Problem is I am loyal and that gets me in trouble because they take advantage of that. I fell in a hole when I realised I had surrounded myself with them and then began to wonder if I was one too. Especially as my mother always gas lights me.
Sorry big rant. It takes time and a lot of these videos to come to the understanding of what was happening and why. Menopause definitely did not help things! My health took a huge dive.
Basically I now rely on God. If I didn't come to realise the importance of Jesus words I don't think I would have survived it all. Now I worry about the effects all of this has had on my children. I feel terribly guilty about that. I see certain behaviors manifest that are spot on in many videos. The narc husband is who he is and I have told them it's not right but still it's not really enough. I am directing them towards the Gospel and relying on God not man. My biggest mistake was trusting and leaning on man for all the answers to life. Best thing I ever did was stop that!
These videos are definitely a huge blessing and helpful in understanding what has happened to us and why and direction to move on.
The world is full of narcissists and these days you can't avoid them so learning to navigate them is really important.
Wishing you all the best on your journey xx
@@m.j.2939 thank you for sharing. I too have suffered cult narcissistic abuse. It’s the most mind messing type because it comes in large groups. This pandemic is really reminiscent of a cult as well and thus super triggering. I totally hear you. We do the best we can until we know better then we do better. It’s all we can do. Lots of love 💕 💗💗💗💗 one day your children will understand just as I did with my own mother. I hold no resentment towards her. Only love, because I understand now just what was happening to her.
@@AmazonKC yes I know my Nanna was terrible to mum too. As for what is happening now on a global scale it IS a cult! Once you have experienced it you can spot it a mile away. Sadly it is easily done when you have all forms of MSM at your disposal. Over 12 months of abuse and gaslighting using illegal torture methods such as isolation and brainwashing on the hour every half an hour incessantly with no relief people didn't stand a chance. Demonizing anyone using critical thinking and logic outside of the mantra then using segregation and discrimination to punish anyone who doesn't follow.
It's utterly disgraceful.
Thanks for the reply 🤗
@@m.j.2939 Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing “global cult” and “High Control Group” tactics being used here. It’s like they’ve taken a page straight out of goebbles diary. The narcissistic abuse on a global scale is out of control and so many people are smiling and happy about it. It’s caused my anxiety to go through the roof. The standard self care techniques don’t quite seem to be enough to get through it anymore. I’m glad I’m at least not the only one noticing it.
@@AmazonKC stay strong💜 We are the lucky ones because of our experiences and self education we see!
This lady has really very good understanding of what she is talking about. Thanks Michelle.
Thank you Michelle
Constantly, a lifetime of walking on eggshells!
Walking on eggshells.. apologizing for even existing. I always feel like my mother wants me to apologize for existing. Even to this day which is why I don’t think I can have much contact anymore. I’ve tried so hard and she’ll never get it.
Yes hyper viligence severely. The phone would ring and I'd literally jump so hard my whole body would jerk so hard. My family would haft to let me know they were coming up behind me b/c I would get so startled, I'd jump like someone scared the crap outta me!
Me too-- I jump out of my skin when someone comes up behind me and I did not know that they were there.
Great Job!! ⭕❌💗 TY
This is my absolute favorite video on the web right now! Thank you 💜
TY Michelle. I've just been through 26 hrs of being married to a narcissist. Never knowing what I did wrong and feeling so used. I always knew something was wrong, but never knew what it was. You really opened my eyes to what I've been dealing with. Now I don't even know who I am, but i know I really need to get this person out of my head. This was a person that was sadistic, and I don't hear much about that type. Could you please tell us more about that type of personality.
Yeah walking on eggshells constantly I can’t even drive with him next to me-
i love the way you talked about this with so much empathy and understanding! thank you so much
I love all your videos thank you so much I wish I had a friend like you to tell me all of this take care of urself you save a lot of minds
Wow, I've just found your channel. This is my current situation. All of your words resonate with me, I'm feeling hopeful that your advice can help me xx
yes....for sure...emotionally unavailable entire ex, ex MIL, my dad, and even sons (my mom was very loving)..but all the men in my life- complete narcs.
You are an incredible healer. Thank you for your amazing insight, it helps me considerably
Thank you so much, Michelle. ❤️
Omg playing over and over never making sense of what I did wrong, even in each occurrence during relationship. Everything was always my fault in the relationship. So stuck!!! I live in heartbreak everyday and miss this man so bad & want to show this person I can be who he needs, I can do better when I know its not anything but toxic was a very toxic manipulative emotional abuse. I never knew what was gonna happen or what he'd find wrong. I could never question or even give an honest innocent opinion or suggestion about normal everyday things for fear of they'd flip out me! When will I get over this person! We have a child together and its a very nasty battle. It scares me for her.
Poor lady my heart hurts for you... Been there
Poor lady... Such pain... I feel your pain
This is my exact current situation!! Please find a community of women or safe people to talk to. Reading the Bible and prayer has helped me immensely and I was not religious at all in our relationship. Also going to start therapy!! Do things to help you grow don’t stay stuck please.
I've spent the last 15 years walking on eggshells, and even when you are in good spirits, the abuser looks to start some strife using one of the go to techniques like gaslighting.
All of it… I can’t break away
TY Michelle, a very good advice, tell yourself what the truth was and is, regularely. (At the same speed as and when the reminiscing..)
ive been a victim myself for 5 months.. it is really difficult to move on even if it is just a short term relationship
My friend asked me why I'm still looking on his social media... I honestly don't know. I feel like I'm in a mental prison 😕
Thanks for these tips. Great info.
It was so weird. I secluded myself from pretty much all people. I didn’t _want_ any “relationships.” The narcissist came and found me. Actually, she had had me on a leash for a long time. Only I didn’t know it.
I guess I’m free of her now. Except for the legal liability she created for herself. 💼 But it’s still a big mess that I now have to mop up.
I have this feeling like i come o a holt every 5 seconds. Its like being stabbed in the stomach. Its awful i think this has been like this for over 30 years. Thank you for this information ❤
I would like to add, that it is difficult for me because we have been together for 45 years, it is the only life I know. Now at 63 I have to move on to what. I'm having a difficult time with this whole situation. Thanks for your video. Hope you help the youth.
This is really powerful.. thank you
My narc abusers were both parents mom is overt dad is covert ex husband also overt. I have healed enough to now have a healthy relationship but I can not break out of the loop and it is killing me I am also broke beyond so I cannot afford certain types of help. 😢
I am walking in a eggshells for about 30 years, and I can't get out. Help me please!!
I thought I was all done being reminded of narc women. Then it happened again. I don't know when it's time to stop being reminded of this problem, but I got screwed over again and I don't like it. Help me!!!
You resonate with me
Walked on eggshells as child because mother had migraines.
How does one heal, after my abusive, narcissistic husband committed suicde. After his double life was exposed! And the people/women he was involved with lied to him. He said ' He could not live with himself, knowing what he has done to me.'
He was cruel, abusive our whole marriage. At the end he was over the top evil. As he put it, playing cat and mouse games !
Eggshell master 🙋🏻♂️. Working to get past it.
Yes growing up and this pass relationship
Yes always on eggshells
If anyone asked me the questions you posed to "us", I'd tell them to mind their own issues and get the heck out of my way RIGHT NOW...then disengage with them, they'd be dead to me.
Would you want to address the following. I’m not sure how to get the “fun me” back. Ex-husband had SUCH a tight grip on control that, even though one of the reasons he chose to marry me was that I could let go and let the silly, goofy me out, and he never could (or never would). The fun me Quicky got erased in the marriage. Then I was like him. Boring. Never being silly or truly being fun. He, however, at parties and such, gave the BIG IMPRESSION of being fun, because he “had” to be the center of attention. He “had” to keep the party moving. He was the self-appointed entertainer. Etc. But had they only known that all that show WAS…”just a show.” He just really did NOT know how to let go; or,…. More likely, was TERRIFIED of letting go. So, after a decade and a half of marriage, he had an affair with his assistant at work. And BOY! Did THEY EVER LET GO!! Beyond belief!! Where wild horses once could NOT get him out of his newspaper/football-watching chair,…now, wild horses would never be able to get him back IN that same chair! Naturally, he felt his soul was alive and awake (at its core). He combines the fun he flatly REFUSED to have with me…with his affair woman. So that was a GIANT WHAMMY of pain connected to “fun”. And now, I can’t seem to GET MY fun back. I can DO things (externally), sure. But on the inside,…I’m dead. How do I awaken and enliven MY Soul?!?
I feel so sorry for you to ever get mixed up with a freaken sychopath like that. You deserve better.
Yes I treaded on eggshells daily during my time
Wow!!! This is SO good. Thank you SO much.
very good & to the point...thanks
I'm in the shock grip stage. 😐
Spot on! Thank you
it is difcult it takes time to heal
I am still walking on egg shells. My sister is a covert naracist who is also a retired consultant psychiatrist who relatives and friends simply seemingly have not the ability to see through. Flying monkeys just love to be around a retired consultant psychiatrist as this boosts their ego and status. There is absolutely no humility with naracists. They have a total false facade that nobody can see through. You have to cut yourself off totally from these negative comments and naracists. Naracists are all total liars and always will be. Never trust a charmer. Always remember your true value. Naracists are totally evil individuals who simply turn everything upside down. Your brain needs to be retrained to accept what is true and not the false narrative of naracists. Never believe a single statement that the naracist tells you. They mix lies and some truth together in an effort to totally confuse you. We need to fill our minds with positive thoughts. Today is today and yesterday is gone. This is a new day and there are new opportunities. Yes you rewire your brain and do new things. If you loved singing, you must also watch that you do not become part of a choir that is controlled by a naracist. These individuals always sow seeds of doubt in your mind. You are being 'conditioned' and manipulated by the naracist as a way to destroy who you are. You need to let who you where supposed to be shine through. This is exactly what the naracist hates. Not being allowed to show our emotions is another naracistic trick in order to keep you stuck in submission to them. Naracists are always angry because they have no empathy or regard for others. Making others feel unsafe and unsecue around them is just another way that they 'control' others. Put up totally high boundaries and 'move on'. Yes you may move forward slowly at first but remember that you are still moving forward away from your past. Yes it will take time, but you are moving in the right direction. There may be obstacles in the road that may temporarily 'trigger' your mind and start you ruminating about the past, but you must remember that an obstacle in the road does not stay there forever. All obstacles are either removed or there is an alternative route you can take to 'get around' the obstacles. Remember that it is your own 'personal' journey and not the journey of your best friend. Your journey is unique to you. There will be many who will want you to take the journey that they want you to take. Always be true to yourself and be very cautious when receiving 'advice' from others. Only you know all the details of your own situation in life. If others do not understand or do not 'get it', that's their problem and not your problem. Keep going forward and keep looking forward also. Life still has many opportunities for you and you will have an even richer and fulfilled life far greater than what you ever had in the past. Thank you for this video.
Thank you so mutch 💯
“Do the work” what does this mean? Memories stay with you forever
There is no such thing as erasing memories
Don’t forget to refer , Joe Dispenza on topics of brain automaticity or past Truma traped brain
Its not just about what you dont do anymore, its the shell you become. I was a happy, funny outgoing person but my ex husbands abuse made me so sad and lost. I felt like a shell of a women.