Gaslighting, Signs in a Relationship
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
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The recordings are DEFINITELY for your own sanity...and you will be glad you have them.
Agree with this!
If you have to record then your probably the one who’s not sane because recoding shit to prove your right is psychotic, weird and pathetic cuz that just means you couldn’t just tell that person that they are wrong and a lier and walk away. and even if you were sane if you do that then your also extremely stupid considering you’ve stayed that long in a relationship where someone has to make recordings.
I deleted the recordings because I thought I hallucinated the conversations n the recordings weren't real lol Now I can't remember what happened✌️
It would be inevitable if this was published ONLINE
And put nothing on writing
If you are in a relationship where you’re questioning whether the other is gaslighting you and you feel you need to record that person … They Are. And you Should.
And you should also know by that point , You Need to Leave Them STAT !!!
They Are TOXIC
Exactly.
Unless you listen back to the recording and realize you remembered it totally wrong and they were right almost every time lol. That’s a different problem entirely.
Got a recorder. Brought it home. Felt a little guilty about it. Stored it. She was suspicious of me due to my already having been withdrawn. She found it. The went off about it. Laying all kinds of guilt trips on me. Threatening divorce if I ever used it. Sadly I never did. At the time I was gaslighting myself into believing that 2+2=3.75. Instead of accepting that it was 4. 15 years later. Thank God for finally bringing me to my knees without dying. Accepted the 4 and took my loss. This short has served to reconstitute my belief in myself. Thank you.
Btw. After I became highly reactive. I am positive that she recorded me.
@@melissasplitt158 nope. Not even close. I had to be both mommy and daddy to our daughter. Got up at 2:30 am went to UPS. Got out at 9:30 am. Worked up to 2 more jobs and cared for our daughter and the house as best I could till she walked in at 6-6:30 pm. I was ready for a break and she was ready for a drink after her hard corporate day. After I had put our daughter to bed and gone to bed myself. She would come to bed intoxicated and in the mood at 9:30 pm. And surprise! I also never did anything well enough. Just like you. I greatly empathize with you. And I hope that you are finding the help that you need.
❤
Yes, Spot on! Absolutely. If you feel you need to record what they say, it is sure sign of being gaslighted. We need to do it to protect our sanity. Thank you.
When you have anxiety you tend to forget
I said this to someone the other day about recording them so they can hear themself Im happy I came across this video this is confirmation
Me too! Best of luck to you ❤
My comfort wasn’t in video/audio recordings (though I did keep the enraged voicemails). My comfort came from holding onto the text messages. Every single one after the first rage-out. I found myself going back to text conversations we had just to prove what he’d said and what I said. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t tripping when he came back either acting like it never happened or claiming it never happened. I also wanted to always have a reminder of what I went through when he’d return to the Hoovering stage. Never directly thought about it until just now.
My ex would say “Imagine going into months old messages. You're scary.”
Unless you want to know how it feels to be the pinball in the machine never ever ever tell a manipulative person of any type that you are Mandela affected. Claims of multiple conversations even conversations the same day claims of multiple multiple locations that you have visited and commented on complete with using terms that you use daily claims of multiple agreements reached for literally anything under the sun that they want you to agree with and so so much more all under the guise of can you really trust your memory??? They speak with such authority on the topics to. You know, the authoritative tone of voice. Then the manipulative people start in with the we're worried about you routine. In fact the only thing you now have to go on is that they have been manipulative in the past and you're not really sure anymore whether it is a Mandela effect or not.
So, the bottom line is to just get away from the narcissist at all costs. If for some reason you're stuck with them (they're a parent or a spouse and you're financiallydependent) start making a plan to get away from them and make sure you stay in touch with someone who can help you keep your sanity until you can get away completely.
Im literally considering joining the military because its the only way i could provide healthcare and a decent income for my kids and myself. I dread the thought of them having to exist in a space with him if we were to share custody
I wanted to record and video my experiences with my abusive ex after the first year when the verbal/emotional abuse and gaslighting started happening, shortly after the first year of a false persona - he was horrible and I'm still overcoming the PTSD and CPTSD from it all
Omg I need someone to talk to immediately
Find a free helpline initially, they should have plenty suggestions, where to find continued support. ❤
I’m literally in this type of situation now. To the point, where it’s definitely impossible for myself or anyone to have a conversation with them.
I started recording my mother last year and keeping what I call a "crazy journal" lol when she starts losing her mind over being told no about something or accusing me of whatever thing she has made up that day and screaming at me and calling me names, I record it now. She likes to say that stuff doesn't happen and "I'm just exaggerating" when I am still understandably upset about the incident hours or days later. It helped soooo much in drawing and sticking to my boundaries and working on my self empowerment to do so to be able to play it back and hear that I am not crazy. And just like Dr. Ramani said, being confronted with the recordings doesn't help...my mom told me I was just doing it to try to make her look bad to other people. Like...I'm pretty sure you did that all on your own, but thanks for playing, lady! 😂
Yep and the reaction is exactly as you Foretold
I told my mom just this evening that I’m going to start recording our conversations. Today she told me, “Amanda you can’t have an opinion on this matter because you no longer live in this house” and after more arguing, not even 30 seconds later she goes, “you’re entitled to have your own opinions” 😂 makes me feel like I’m INSANE talking to her. She contradicts everything she says.
My narcissistic ex used to tell me he was gonna record me so I could see how absurd I was being. But he never did it.
I, however, did. And I still have a 10 minute exchange saved on my phone to remind me that I was the one being manipulated.
Lol my ex wife did the same. When she said it, I had been secretly recording her for months...
10 minutes show nothing
Even the best kindest people can be provoked into a 10 minutes tirade
I have 100s of hours and I am sure there is a 10 minute segment where I have lost it in there somewhere
Try recording from the time you walk in the house so you can hear how it starts
@@davidswink6653 Well aren't you a peach!
I'm glad JD and AH recorded so many of their fights. It was SO CLEAR that SHE was the one gaslighting and abusing him!
I remember a grieving person said something they don't remember saying at all and I counted it as part of a grieving process. There have been plenty of circumstances where people are grieving and at times overwhelmed. Gaslighting is a conscious effort to decieve.
I love this woman she knows her stuff
So is gaslighting in small cases normal in all or most relationships? I feel like i have encountered gaslighting in just about every relationship I've had.
Sometimes we just remember things wrong or completely forget that we said something. And some people are stubborn about the way they remember a situation. Gaslighters remember what happened but try to convince you otherwise in a way that makes you doubt yourself.
I'm recording almost every single conversation now and highly regret not recording the ones i dont. Edit: I had to put a lock screen on my phone because my wife was deleting the audio recordings.
I wish i had made recordings. I didnt know about the act of gas lighting till recently. Now im questioning my memory of all events. Is he right? Am i? Therapist might help i hope.
@@0xsergy if you're even doubting or in question, you're being gaslit.
I made secret recordings while my mom was brainwashing me when I was a teen. She got so furious she was about to explode. Little daughter is not so weak anymore, ay? She stared at me like the devil but she realised she was unable to react bc it was too late. I sent those recordings to my adult cousin. Not to "spill the tea" but to have a witness.
Wow, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story here.
Ohhh oh my goodness!! You said it so well. You infer it so so well. It’s for your sanity that you record so you can take next steps.
She is always spot on ! I enjoy listening to her discuss the concepts behind NPD abuse/other personality disorders.
Whoo...look how quickly God will answer your questions and prayers and requests...Thank you Lord for this divine direction and divine discernment.
My gaslighter went so far as to say themselves we would be recording our conversations because he was so fed up with me not remembering accurately what had happened. Took me a couple of years , a sudden change in behaviour and a resulting conversation with a mutual acuitance who was a subject of the guy’s continous lies for me to start questioning.
YUP this was LITERALLY my abusive parents when I recorded their abuse they totally denied it, but ive been no contact for years now, my ex was the same too BUT I HAVE freed myself from those toxic relationships 😊🕊🌅🧚🏽♂️
Gas lighting, it took me over 30 years. Trousers in dustbins. Lights, Gas cooker, keysets.
Drinking but bottlers in near shop or in the bin out side. Deleting phone numbers of his families and lying that I deleted them. Recorded events help me only to observe my brain.
I did this and recorded two conversations for my own sanity and I told her I had done this and it proves she gaslighted me. Her face dropped and you could tell by her face that the game was up and she asked me to get my stuff and leave
I did this! It really helps your sanity!
Medcicle
Thank you
Exactly on point! Ahhhh
So damn right. Real talk
Absolutely!!! Been through this and just got out !!
Love this idea of recording. Thank you.
Just trust your gut feeling, instincts, better judgment, common sense. Your body, mind and heart are telling you the truth. It's good to get space to get in touch with these things. It can be difficult to get away from these people, but you can do it. Hang in there!!!
It's the "how dare you" for me
Lol! Being in a relationship is gaslighting.
I was recording texts where he said he’d “ never “ do xyz again. And then he’d do xyz again and then when I would send the text messages from Jan, June, July where he said “ never “ … he would focus on some other point to deflect for sure. It just becomes sickening after you’ve dated so many really bad ones and then you find this really sweet one who has a sexual addiction and gaslights all the time.
I give tf up.
Ive caught gaslighters gaslighting me thanks to my car's dashcam before I even knew gaslighting was a thing. Thankyou my late baba for making me a techno nerd lol
Exactly what he would say!!!
Been there... so true!!!
Mine told me he was record me to show his “therapist” that I’m the crazy one when I was participating in reactive abuse.
You light the gaslighter up.
Wow 😯
This happened / is happening to me! I started recording conversations my now x and I would have. Because I knew he would deny anything and everything he ever said with * no I'm not, no I didn't, no I wasn't, no I don't etc* once he found out I was recording, he said I was petty, untrustworthy, overreacting, always starting trouble. Anything just to get out from under responsibility for his words and actions.
It's painful being related to one. Stay away!😢
I was waiting on someone to say this. Recently started to feel like i just should start recording
They recorded MY conversations. Really really devious person. Worried about my suing them for fraud. I may not come out shining with some of these conversations but I actually do not care anymore. Have gone no-contact forever. End of story.
So true
Something that those in abusive relationships or have narcissistic individuals in their life should do is have private recordings stashed away. Unfortunately you need to play dirty to protect your rights and safety with these types of people.
Record something that could be used as blackmail. If push comes to shove, you know they'll use everything they've ever learned about you against you. Its not stopping to their level when it's purpose it for counteracting their shit.
And record periods of abuse, rage, etc. whenever you leave and you get the urge to reach out or start to doubt yourself, listen to those recordings. It'll prevent the back and forth cycle.
Narcissist will DEFINITELY destroy people - they have no Empathy....🥺🤔
Hmmm ... tech companies already do this ...
Hey Google
Alexa
Siri
Google responds even on someone else's device if it knows your voice better. It's a bit funny to see reactions to that, although it's not planned.
?…Not understanding.
@@amykyns15 Google Assistant: "Hey Google!", Amazon's Alexa: "Alexa!", and Apple's Siri are all listening apps that respond to your voice. If the feature is turned on, it can pick up any conversation.
Google sent a nest ... for free ... awhile ago. I gave the free Echo away to a young female neighbor. A few months ago, I installed an app to pick up radiation sources in my home. I found there was a LOT of radiation in my apartment. There still is some, but I removed several items and alerted another person to the problem. The Nest device is emitting over 300 mH of radiation. That means someone connected it to something, but I never did. I don't have WiFi.
Beyond that, it freaked out two acquaintances when Ask Google responded to my voice on their phones, because Google (the computer apps) knew my voice better.
What does that say? Go look at your Google account. There're files of recordings of your voice and precisely what you said if you have Ask Google turned on.
Then think about it. How many ISPs and browsers have a voice feature? Wireless providers? Hardware manufacturers? Software providers?
We are on record most of the time whether we want to be or not.
Spooky if you like your privacy. Then again, what privacy?
(You asked. My response is accurate and honest. Check techie websites. You'll find out just how true it is. I don't know how publicized the radiation thing is, but I do know that radiation is pervasive now. It's why some people hate cell phones, tablets, and computers.) Shrug. 🤷♀️ Facts are facts, no matter how much certain elements of society deny them.
@@reflectivemuse1223 Thank you for the reply. I understand the ‘no privacy’ concept with all these devices and the ability to listen in. I don’t like it but it is what it is, right? I prefer a landline and no Alexa or Siri. What’s more concerning to me, because of health reasons is the radiation you speak of. Is this the cause for headaches, ringing in ears and runny nose all the time or is that something else?
I’m super naive about technical stuff.
@@amykyns15 Yes, technology can be the source/cause of everything you mentioned. However, there are numerous potential causes for headaches. There are also several types of headaches. Tinnitis or ringing in the ear is either high pitched frequencies, an inner ear problem, or a sign of an impending stroke. I am not a doctor or other medical professional. My response is personal experience based mixed with credibly sourced reading to find answers to these questions.
Wow this is relatable
I simply cut them out of my life! If i have to interact with them , one word conversations!
From a legal perspective, it is important to determine the law of the state where you make the recording. Is it a “one party” or “two party” consent state?
Nothing worse than giving a narc a loaded gun with you commuting a violation of the state recording law.
What good is the recording gonna do if its not played to a third party to make the other person realize they are gass liting you?
Dude my friend records everyones convis shes so weird like i say hi and shes like wait i needa check my phone and she hits play
I heard this!!
Yep
Is gaslighting when someone starts an argument then blames it on you for starting it?
What should my next steps be???
This has happened to me before and I thought I was crazy
I’m literally questioning my sanity. And everyone at least 50 people tell me. I just don’t walk because well, I’m starting to think it’s all my fault. And it’s hard for people with real feelings to let 6 years just go.
Let go and run...what are you waiting for?
If a partner withholds sex for 7 years and also withholds hugs and closeness to someone with BPD is that partner still a Narc? Cause I'm just fed up
❤
fook recorder we need a BODYCAM
I have tried that but he was the one recording everyone he ever met then i started recording the police let him get away eith stealing my evidence now he is so smug as i jave no evidence
How about I suspected her having affairs outside our lives at her job shes a nanny and since I had been a private I I knew she would eventually do it in our place and I recorded 5 different guys while I slept and on the weekends she would be off I had to work 7 days a week.
Wow! Sorry you had to go through that.
He literally told me i doctored the video.. i.. what? I just took editing classes at night while you were sleeping?
Like Johnny Depp case? That he needs to record everything to prove he's sane
I dont record anything it's the people that know you that can vouch for you good or bad. If you're far awau from the people that know you understand the environment you're in.
its simple..a good person will listen,be acountable and responsable. narcisstic or an immature abusive person will attack, will be dismissive and try to put you in your defensive state...always keep in mind that a good or a mentaly healthy person will never turn against you , they can only advise you or tell you the facts, if you want to hear them..they will never force you to listen, they wont bully you or cross boundaries..they wont feed on your reactions,they will be upset if you are upset and try to help . they wont try to take anything from you, your energy your mind or yourself worth..they just wont try to make you hate yourself, thats the difference.they wont laugh at you when you are upset or distressed and they wont put themseleves first when you are hurt. narcisstist make everything about themselves..if you are sick, you are unable to be there for them, so they get angry. if you lose a job they will be angry because they cant get things they did. if anything goes wrong in your life they will make it as if you did wrong to them. so they will try to steal your self focus in any situation... good and helathy person will be suportive, understading and not dependant on your actions and choices. they will give you time and patience and wont make it about them since they have their own life and independance, and a helathy mature mind, they wont be making you feel like you have to put your emotions aside to prioritize them. a helathy person understands that everyone has the right for their own choices,failures and sucess independant from another person..also having their own perception, emotions and stuff to deal with. a narcisstist needs another for their living and they wont allow other people to focus on anything but them and their needs because they want others to solve stuff and do the hard work for them and keep them emotionaly happy, but they never are so they need a constant suply of your attention and everything. The solution is to assert your needs and create boundaries. you need to inform a narcisstist that you arent responsable for how they feel and you wont do anything you dont feel right doing. also you have to educate them if they are your family, of how a helathy comunication looks with lots of listening and talking from your own mental space...narcisstics try to make you upset to not see clearly and thats when you need to be strong and think for yourself first.
Doctors gaslight
100%
What do you do when the person doing the gas lighting, is in a self appointed HIGH POSITION in a family. In other words, if the person doing the gas lighting is in power of some sort over the victim, how can we overcome it, not emotionally, but in REAL TALK TERMS of cut and dry results going in our favor? It seems as though when we encounter these types, regardless of how perfect you live, they find something personal that serve as a wedge to open the door (conversation) basically? So it’s not so much a DIRECT EFFECT meaning results, changes, it’s more emotional as we suffer feeling crazy or what have you. More of an after effect where the INNOCENT and now burning victim suffers from a STAIN on his or her EGO. But they don’t touch us, we don’t loose anything, the most dangerous kind is the SLEEPING SILENT COVERT NARCISSIST. Because they deal only in FEELINGS. Specialists at digging deep wholes in a persons WELL BEING. Designed to pierce the heart with DOUBT, SHAME, tormenting the foe with feelings that are too strong for a person to handle without almost snapping.” ❤😂🤢💯
Men go through all this nonsense and end up in divorce and paying money for life time WTF!?
I just live this for the last 9 years all together maybe 7 pack and forth the last couple years can't take it move completely away and he took on another one and she will find out like all the others he's beat every single one besides gaslighted them believe I have a term to this my husband died in this man took me and built me Up and took me right down broke me as my friend said to another friend without me knowing I heard them talking about me another room I'm 8 months on my own now still having a little bit of a hard time feel like I'll always live in shadows when I used to be the light of the life I don't know if I'll ever get back there right now I became homeless because of all this broke after $40,000 gone but I will make it I'm doing okay the last 8 months and I'm 2,000 miles if not more away no contact whatsoever I don't want any since I moved away he doesn't know my moves and been looking I've been told but playing like he wants nothing to do with me I don't trust him
Or they will try to say you're crazy if you record them, and yes they will act better than you.
So basically like the depp&heard thing
So should you leave if you planned on maybe ordering some teensy cameras because you already record the convos but you also need visual proof of behaviors
I have a good story
What’s B?
I make picture where i am for him 😢
Block them on social media there toxic
You will pay deeply ...
Also they will destroy your credibility to everyone you know just in case you might share with someone
She ALWAYS talks about this. ALWAYS.... She muzt be messed up from someone.
Its all women telling other women there being gas lit lol .
This lady is crazy i wander how many divorces she has had .
But what was B???
Ohhh really
What if the people gaslighting you can change any video you take . Drug and poisen you with the help of the police and manipulate any recordings you get
How is she gonna start with "either A"
....then just leave that shit there with no "or B"‽‽‽
that's a fail. total. bush. league.
Omg 🫢…
I gaslight my girlfriend
🤍
How could you let yourself get that deep?
Or you're acting differently because you knew it was recording
She has no clue what shes talking abt
Satan is the ORIGINAL NARCISSIST.
duh.
Christian freeks