The Challenge of Anger While Grieving
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2024
- Who needs anger while grieving?? 😠 Most of us have anger show up when our hearts are aching. Leave a comment to normalize Anger in Grief! 🙏🏻
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Anger can be a difficult emotion. Anger while grieving is often inevitable. Leave us your thoughts to navigate anger while grieving. 🙏🏻
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I am almost 2 years out from my daughter's new life in heaven. I've never been angry with God or anyone else (except 1 person). I've been very upset this weekend and am angry at everyone for anything. I almost feel like my head is about to blowup. Been reading a Grief book and am beginning to believe I'm angry with DEATH! Keep thinking about all the grieving mama's in Turkey and Syria, on the news whose children are murdered. All of a sudden I feel surrounded & suffocated by it and past losses I've had as well. It's just another up and down of the rollercoaster. Glad I found you. Will be listening more. Thank you for your help.
I get enraged with almost everything.
I am enraged by lack of communication and support around grief. I am enraged and people's cluelessness and lack of empathy and acknowledgement of my pain. Grief, while personal to me, was heavily affected by my lack of support during my mother's illness and after. I was her sole caregiver and no one acknowledged me- instead I was judged at how poorly I was taking care of her- she was mentally ill and refused to do treatment despite the availability of it. I spent the 5 years she was alive with her diagnosis being her caregiver during my 20's. I lost my twenties and now, I deeply fear I will not even have my 30's due to the rage I can't have control over.
I was shushed during the funeral and I was told I should think my mother "went on vacation and isn't coming back" by an insensitive family member. It brought to light all the family dynamics that I never want to be a part of- the denial, the glossing over of problems rather than confronting, the lack of communication and honesty, the support that was never there. I am enraged and unable to contain my anger to the extent that I can't go to work anymore without my thoughts being distorted about coworkers or situations. I need a break. I need to put myself first.
I lost my husband suddenly 2 months ago. He was 58, and I just turned 60. We were living a very good life. I've been doing pretty good since he died (basically). Seeing a therapist, practicing self love, etc. But this morning when I woke up I was chock full of anger. Like wanted to punch a wall angry. Was very confused and sad and spent the whole day snarky. Now I'm glad to know that anger is a part of it, so I'll sit with it, I'll talk to my therapist on Wednesday. But I wanted to thank you because I thought I was losing my mind. Grief is so individual and universal at the same time. Thank you for your explanation of anger.
I get so angry at my husband of 28 years for leaving me! (He was 53). He was sick with diabetes but died suddenly of a massive heart attack. In a 10 minute span, my life changed forever. Some days I blame him for leaving and not being here to take care of me or "being" with me!! When I'm alone I yell at him. I still love him but now the life I once knew is gone. I hate this new life and I tell him all the time.
😢😢😢😢 I’m so sorry I feel your pain I lost my spouse 10/28/23. I feel like the ones that are here that’s married and are horrible spouses….why us ?!That’s my anger
I feel the pain. I was my mom caregiver. We needing each other. Then she took her life and about 20 minutes my life went into a tailspin. My life was out of control. People were not giving me a chance or process what had happened
Now I’m all alone outcast due to her taking her life people were saying lot of lies and quick to listen to untrue gossip. It’s a small town.
Hang in there. That's what he would want you to do. Be strong for him
Angry can be a huge mask. A wise person once told me anger is usually fear or pain and to try and determine which emotion was actually causing the anger. It has helped me several times. But in my recent grief it can be so difficult to handle. Sometimes I'm angry at everyone and everything for no actual reason, so I suppose it must be the pain of my loss and trying to cope.
🎉
How did you deal with anger ?
I am so angry. Mostly at myself for failing to protect my son and failing to rescue him when he needed me most and for putting him in harm's way. He died at 27 years. I am angry with all the other enablers and cruel people that hurt my son and didn't care about him:- family court, social workers, justice system...I've fuelled my anger...it's safer to stay away from people. I feel grief, fear and anger in my stomach...also with the anger is mistrust of humans and disgust
I am so sorry that the system failed you and your son.🙏🏻
I am sorry for your loss and the difficulties you faced. Sending prayers to you ❤
I was never an angry person until my brother passed suddenly . I screamed so much, not enough for my anger relief.
I’m 20. I lost my dad who was never there on 12.15.2023 and then now I lost my baby at 8 weeks pregnant on 1.26.24. I feel so much rage. I didn’t even get the opportunity to go through the 5 stages of grieving over my dad. I immediately had to mourn the loss of my son. I feel really angry at the world rn 💔
My anger has been intense. My husband of 41yrs succumbed to injures sustained in a MVA. Our adult children, struggling with everything that comes with young parenthood and their own relationships, are devastated. His death set off a chain reaction that almost overwhelmed us. I’m not angry with him, I’m not angry with his dying. I’m angry because of other people’s insensitive, incomprehension and insouciance, and the willful harm that has been done. I miss him so much and haven’t had the time or space to grieve because just surviving has been all-consuming. I can almost see the light at the end of this long tunnel. He died 7 months ago on Saturday.
I so sorry over your loss. May you see sunshine at the end of your journey. God bless
:'(
I'm so deeply sorry. My heart breaks for you and your xhikdren.
May God comfort you as only He can.
It feels like I'm angry all the time. The moment I realise my husband is really gone, I'm angry at him for leaving, I'm angry at God for taking him so soon, at the drs as I don't feel they've done what they could to save him. I'm angry for waking up in the morning, alone for yet another day. Thank you Joe for your videos. It does help, sometimes it just take time to sink in.
James 1:13. God did not cause your husband's death to take him. Romans 5:12
I have been angry with my father for dying suddenly and having nothing in place leaving me and my siblings to figure out all the arrangements and how to pay for everything that goes with that. I'm angry with him for not having at least one emergency contact on file in the office at his apartment complex. I'm angry my brother found out that my dad was dead when the coroner called him to ask where to send the body. All this makes me angry because the storm of my grief for my father has been delayed and extended as a result.
Don't even get me started on my mother's death because it's much newer and my limit around people is still very brief.
Lost my dad to an overdose in jail thanksgiving day 11/25/21.. first I was heartbroken (still am ), then numb, now I'm angry for months on end and I'm so empty.. I don't know how long this stage lasts but to anyone who hasn't yet lost a parent please prepare urself.. the pain is like no other...and I've lost my child so that's saying a lot. Crippling pain
I lost my loved one of 17 years on 4.23.24 from a heart attack. I thought I was getting better but now I'm dealing with so much anger. Not at him but at not being able to take care of things on my own. It's overwhelming. I'm in therapy but that doesn't take care of everything. I miss him so much. I know it will take more time but the anger part is so exhausting.
My anger has no "source" and that's what frustrates me. It's like undirected rage. I get just filled with rage but i don't wave to take it out on anyone. I'm not mean to anyone. It's just there and can't be quelled.
I work a high stress, demanding job. I know anger. It's always got a direction it goes. This goes nowhere. I'm not even mad at my late husband. I'm just mad.
I feel as I am living in a nightmare. A horrible nightmare that i can’t get any. Reprieve from
I lost my Dad 4 months ago. I have always had issues with anger but I have been able to learn to control it over the years. I can't lately and I feel very aggressive, often without knowing why.
What would you tell someone that is angry because they feel they can’t grieve? I’m a mother that cannot let myself grieve my ex husband’s death because our 15 year old son needs me, if I miss work, we lose our home, food, clothes etc I don’t have time to grieve and I’m angry everyone else that loved him gets to
Grief needs space...please make some tiny invitation to your grief so it doesn't continue to accumulate. 🙏🏻
My 16 & 17 year old boys just lost their dad in a car accident 79 days ago and Hats off to you cuz I can’t hide my grief as well
I can stifle my words but they still see the pain in my eyes and how I’m responding to things around me
But it’s so hard watching my boys go through a loss I haven’t even experienced yet and I’m angry that there’s nothing I can do to stop their pain
My grief and anger comes unbidden , and I will cry at inopportune times but that is “me” and I’m not able or do I want to change it. Please take a little time to grieve, even if it’s planned….it helps.
I lost my partner of nine years March 6th and I am angry at my self. I wished I could have said more done more. It was unexpected and I found her unresponsive. I have changed my relationships have changed. The people I needed the most like my mother and Father I realized they could not help or do not understand my grief even though they themselves have experienced tremendous loss. I am so glad that I found you because as I am learning to live with this pain I feel disconnected, angry, sad, and utterly lost. I have friends but I realized they too are broken. Now I realize that I need to heal and that I need healthy people around me to do so. I have a 16 year old daughter and she is like a breath of fresh air during this time. I am so glad that I have her because if not I would be able to keep pushing. Great channel keep helping those especially those whom may be suffering alone 🙏
Everything you said speaks to me, right down to my parents, including my young daughter. It will be a year soon, and it seems like the early stages have slightly come back. I miss my guy so much! 😢
I lost my son in July. I love listening to your videos. You've been a great help to me.
I get angry often at my son for being careless with his life. So many loved him. I'm angry at God for not answering all of his and my prayers to remove the alcohol craving. He tried so hard. Went to numerous programs but always relapsed.
Yes she has thank u for ur videos
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My pain is still fresh I lost my dad exactly one week after my birthday and now he has been gone less than two months so I have a lot of anger and regrets and lost on this earth without the man who made me who I am
Sometimes I am just so angry I feel like I can’t breathe and I am scared that I am going to cause my husband to want me to leave cause he can’t deal with the anger I take it out on him and I say I am sorry and I try not to and then it happens again
I'm always upset and crying hurting as I feel upset that my husband left me and I know it's not his fault but that's just how I feel at this stage
Yes, me too. Only my sweetie refused to go to the doctor's. He was always "just fine." Died suddenly of a massive heart attack at 58. I am sick with grief over his loss.
My father murdered my mom and he then committed suicide .So I live with that anger everyday .Missing her and him getting away with her murder
Yes. This describes me.
hink my death anger started when I answered the call my cousin died of Leukemia. In 2014 lost my Dad on operating table covered by a white sheet He told me he wouldn't make it.....I should have tried to stop him. Had to pay for funeral he had no insurance. Welcome 2015....I lose my right arm past elbow in an Industrial accident. In a span of 4 months buried my brothers wife, my oldest brother and just yesterday his mom ( step-siblings) Same Dad...I'm tired but I think I-m angry because I never said anything to talk our dad out of it.
Thank you for helping to normalize the anger in this process. Before I listened to this I had a very confusing outburst of anger and it made me feel so incredibly out of control and afraid. I guess because I was taught as a small child that my anger was not acceptable to express. I think that is a common thing, but I was not expecting the enormity of how it manifested. Anyway, deep love to all who are suffering in their heart and soul with the anguish of loss.❤
Thank you for all your talks about grief. I’m grieving so much right now, not only physical losses but also my health that I’m trying to get back and feels impossible, and I just lost my beloved loyal close friend as I’m my cat. It’s so intense and your talks help me when I feel hopeless x
I lost my husband from a motorcycle accident about a week and a few days ago now. I’m angry and upset but I know he wants me to be happy no matter what so I’m trying to understand everything I’m 20 almost 21 and I’m a younger one but the first love of my life I’ve lost and it’s the first lost I’ve had to deal with
Thank you so much these help
Me so much
Yes i did find myself angry at a few people after my husband died and i was in a state of shock for a few months. I woul despise what i consider to be inconsiderate or inappropriate words. I did try to just be polite, classy, but in my mind i was purging them from my life. I have decided that i dont have enough time for them. Having your spouse die creates a lot of paperwork, readjusting, and creating the new you.
❤ thank you.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
I am angry all the time since I lost my husband
Hi I diffuse my anger through watching Bob Ross he has such a calming effect
Hi Jo thank you how on earth can u be angry with happy little clouds and happy little trees you know Bob Ross is wonderful for mental health
What happens during my intense grieving, i get an outside influence telling me things my husband was doing our saying over 11 years ago about me, hurtful things.. Then I'm angry and hurt at him, but i can't bring him back to ask. I'm left very hurt. 💔😢💔
Today is the 2nd year anniversary of the death of our middle son, he was 42yo. His death came at the end of a massive battle with drugs and alcohol. I find myself angry with the few people we have left in our family who should know this anniversary and yet don’t!! The year before he died I lost my brother and my husband lost his sister. This year we lost my husband’s mother! I’m angry for what we’ve been through and are still struggling with and that our 2 surviving sons and my only brother don’t seem to realise!
I literally feel angry and evil after losing my mother 2 weeks ago to bowel cancer, I don’t think I’ve processed the diagnoses and then all the way through to her passing in total 7 months -away a couple of days before Christmas - seriously am getting so peed off with everything especially where I live which is a pit of snakes and full of people who abuse their bodies but my young 65 year old mother was ripped away from me !!!!
I was so angry after my mother died and i took it out on my sdult daughter, who didnt deserve it. Four years later, my husband passed away, no anger this time, just sadness. I'm still trying to make peace with my daughter 😢
I am FUMING!!! Nevermind angry. Inside. Not outwardly. My 14 year old son died. I AM FUMING!!! SPITTING SNAKES!!!
I am furious at God for allowing the death of my 29 year old daughter.
I feel exactly the same way! I ask Him every day why He would do this to me, to us, ruined so many lives by taking my 28 year old son.
He had autism and was a beautiful, innocent soul with a pure heart. There are no words for how much I miss him.
I do know that I would never want him to feel the immense pain that I am feeling without him. He would have been devastated without me if I went first. So I guess God knows what He’s doing. But I am still so angry at Him.
I’m so sorry for your loss💜
I am too. Where was he?
Still furious at God and at my MIL who kept trying to quote that there were lessons I needed to leant from the Bible. Never acted like a grandmother.
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Understand how you feel. My daughter was 26. I will never accept that it had to happen.
1year later lost my son and am so angry
What about when I am grieving over losing 2 brothers in 5 months, and other family members are taking their anger out on me? I see no videos regarding this part of grief anger. I need to cope with the anger of others as I try to process my own grief. Things have been said to me that cannot be taken back as a result of uncontrolled anger (resulting from the grief of others)...
I have had some of these problems since my wife passed away in April last year. Everyone keeps saying to Journal. I have never done that and having trouble writing things down and I don't know how to type......
Jon I write down short words … mainly I say out loud to God how I feel ❤️ also just talking to a trusted person
Where did the word anger originate?
Etymology. From Middle English anger (“grief, pain, trouble, affliction, vexation, sorrow, wrath”), from Old Norse angr, ǫngr (“affliction, sorrow”) (compare Old Norse ang, ǫng (“troubled”), from Proto-Germanic *angazaz (“grief, sorrow”), from Proto-Indo-European *h₂enǵʰ- (“narrow, tied together”).
Don’t confuse anger with rage. They are very different. Rage is destructive while anger leads to change.
I was just on the receiving end of someone's anger as misdirected grief. It felt awful. And made me feel very sad and hurt, especially because I had been trying to be compassionate, accommodating, and forgiving to her. But I had to draw a line in the sand because she was so rude and cruel. Am trying to decipher how much "grace" I can accommodate.
Yes. My mother uses to say nice guys finish last
What an ingratitude to be mean and rotten when your giving her human kindness and attention.