5 Powerful Ways to Get Over Feeling Angry (Anger Management Techniques)
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- Managing anger can feel really hard sometimes. Especially when seemingly small things tend to set you off. But, learning some anger management skills to both help you manage the anger when it shows up, and going deeper to get to the root of the anger will help a lot.
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#anger #angermanagement #wellness
1. Curiosity
2. Ask yourself where the anger is originating from (triggers)
3. Keep a journal
4. Write a letter to people that wronged you (not necessarily sending it)
5. Self-regulating
❤
Writing down your resentment about people really helps so much, you suddenly feel the burden taken off. It's so simple but very powerful.
I agree 100%
Thank You..I like that idea!! ❤
Been doing that and it's helped me or I go somewhere by myself and start talking to the wall or sky or anything as they are the person and just let it out
I carry a lot of anger and bitterness towards myself and the world. Probably because I'm so disappointed about everything.. that life didn't turn out even close to how I wanted it to. I'm deeply exhausted by life.
My new years resolution for this year is to journal on a diary app, every day.
Wow, you posted this two years ago and I just saw it, and I totally agree with you, about my life being where it's at, and wishing I had done so much more.
The sad thing is, that I have only myself to blame, for my life being lacking
@@kurthanke5788 two years and still relevant..
I'm going to have to write an awful lot of letters ! I will start today.
This video couldn't come at a better time today feeling very frustrated and angry with life atm
Glad it connected Darius. Thanks for watching.
I do tend to have a bad temper when I'm really stressed out and frustrated with everything and it can be a problem. I can get defensive, aggressive and explosive when someone is rude to me, and I try to assert myself in an aggressive combative manner.
I'm learning how to have a better control of my temper and not let rude people or comments make my mood bad.
Thanks Julia
It can definitely be triggering when someone is rude to you. A helpful little tool I teach when responding to anyone about anything is to do your best to keep your response clean and classy. You don't have to be sugary sweet to someone who's being unpleasant, but we can work on being the mature one.
@@juliakristinamah Yes but...I find that perpetually angry people, people who get triggered often, tend to "imagine" rudeness from others and they tend to feel insulted when there is no insult present or intended by the person they are interacting with.
@@juliakristinamah Agreed 😊❤
@@eggsbeeped yup the rough life
@@eggsbeeped . Yes I used to have a statue that I wish now I didn't give away. " I WAS having a great day until some bastard loused it up!". Lol
Anger is like acid that does more harm to the container that holds it, than to which it is poured on🙏
very true.
I found this video and I want to know more. I am currently on the verge of loosing the only woman I have ever loved. My anger is taking things out of control. I don’t get physically I abusive but I do tend to say so many hurtful things. I regret it after and I feel so ashamed. I trully love my fiancé and there is nothing I would not do to make her happy. But this darkness in me always have me making her sad. To the point she wants to break up. She has stood by me for so long. I am really confused right now. I have been feeling so ashamed and guilty and I have been getting suicidal lately because of this. I don’t know if this darkness in me can be cured or if that’s how I was born. She thinks it’s my character and that I would never change. I do want to change. I do want to be the man she fell in love with and not the man she scares. I am loosing my mind over this and don’t know what to do. I need a therapist that can help me overcome this darkness. I am really in deep thoughts
Thank you. I get angry so often for many reasons. Usually when I am feeling tired which is frequently. I get triggered by simply having someone in my space when I want alone time. I get triggered by feeling jealousy or envy if my friends seem to be having a great time without me and appear to brag about it. I feel anger at my mother easily and rarely feel like visiting her because I feel the conversation is always constrained to the small number of topics she feels comfortable talking about. I feel compelled to be polite and respectful in her company - generally the only attitude she has ever tolerated from me, yet I am 52 with a husband and 3 children and she is 82. I still feel as though she sees me as a child or teenager and treats me like one. I feel angry if I am overlooked or not included, disrespected or betrayed by friends, something that has happened to me a lot. I feel angry when I’m tired and can’t think of what to make for dinner. I feel angry when feel compelled to attend a family event that I don’t want to attend. I do have a lot of anger from a stressful childhood growing up with narcissistic parents and older brother. It was a very emotionally toxic environment to grow up in.
Hi I’m Rolonda . 3 minutes of watching and I’m already crying 😭 omg I have this deep anger that’s just been sitting in my gut for years . I just want to let it out so I’m looking forward to the rest of the video 🤞🏽
I thought momentarily about the 🌎 and what has happened I almost threw up
I'm feeling better listening 🎶 to you ❤
Anger can be a useful motivational tool because it can evoke the motivation and energy to change but not healthy for sustainable lifestyle because raging is abusive and detrimental. Pessimism is a good grounding tool because it slows us down enough to gain perspective and insight for gaining time to process on our own account vs someone else timeline but again, a tool, not a lifestyle. Anxiety is a tool for gaining empathy, because you are concerned about other's, not a good space to thrive but a useful tool.
Writing it down is amazing and phenomenal guidance!
I like to write it down, say it out loud, then setting it up in flames; literally, you can use flash paper, no residue, no Ash, no fire hazard ( unless done in excess, which is bad and a NO)
Thank you kindly Madame Kristina for sharing your incredibly helpful and wise words.
Happy New Year everyone! 🎉
This is so good! While you were talking I'm thinking, I get so angry when people don't do their job or follow through or when they procrastinate and it affects me. When I have to check people are doing what they're supposed to because it's affecting me negatively. That's childhood stuff for sure where I had to make sure some important things were getting done and that shouldn't have been my responsibility.
I love writing when I'm angry. Thank Julia. Your videos are always so informative. For those who struggle with anger, it doesn't make you a bad person. The good news is that the skills to manage anger are easy to learn - like writing. It's the best way to vent your feelings without censoring them in any way which can be freeing! It's so great to see so many willing to learn these skills! LOVE it!
This is great information. I have finally freed myself from a bad marriage. During my time in this marriage I found myself constantly on edge and short fused both at him and everyone else. It effected not only my home life but work. Now that I have let that go, I find myself a better team player at work as well. I think it is because I finally feel a sense of safety I didn't have before.
I can hold on to anger for a long time. I can see these tools really helping me out. Thank you. I get a little about women not being able to express anger without being called a b***h. I found in some of the religious environments I have been in that it was taught that anger was a sinful emotion. You don't have a right to feel anger. So what happens? You try to avoid it or ignore it which means you avoid or ignore why it's happening. Not healthy at all. I have come to accept that I have a right to feel anger, but I have the responsibility to manage it properly.
Thank you. I struggle a lot with my outward anger. Being triggered by almost anything. Or I am at the other side of the spectrum and I just cry. I am a 35 year old man and I didn't understand it was the shame from my reactions that is taking hold within me.
😢 Me too
The opening to this video explaining how you just feel like you're always about to explode at any minute, is the first time I've heard another human say exactly how I feel in words. I didn't even realize how bad my up bringing was until a few years back. I yelled at my 8 year old son lastnight and made him cry and realized I'm doing the same stuff to him that messed me up as a kid. His mother and I share custody 50/50. All the work I put into teaching him gets completely undone by time he comes back to me. Its very frustrating. Im just am getting to a point in my anger that it's making me a monster. My amazing wife and son are all I have and I can't keep taking my day out on them. I know I've needed help with my anger for a long time and I've just never known where to start. I think this is where I'll start. I just feel so helpless and bad for dealing with my boy like that. Tha ks for your video and I look forward to joining the shift society on pay day.
I struggle with anger when people don't take the time to understand me cause I don't understand things or explain things the way need!! An then I become the problem of someone's else's issue for not understanding..
An my spouse uses it for her accuses to get what she wants or to get her way with things...
Which lead to a separation from the first day of our marriage.. (5yr+1yr)..
I always felt like being used and gaslighted..
great insight!!
I'm feeling angry now because yesterday at work my supervisor said to me that I should've asked some questions when I was on the phone with a resident's doctor. She looked at me while I wasn't thinking straight. When I came to work I heard that there was a Corona virus going around from the other residents. That what was on my mind at work yesterday. It made me feel unsafe there. I felt overwhelmed and couldn't think straight. I am feeling angry about it.
I just rewatched this because I’ve had some over the top anger coming up. Thank you for this video Julia! I remember how to process it now!
I have struggled with anger for a lifetime. It destroyed a lot of relationships. It also led to a breaking point when I was younger and I used social media for Journaling. It was a fast downward spiral. I was out of control
Happy New Year Julia!! I like your idea of writing down how you feel to the person, but I like to take it 1 step further and burn it in a fire pit. What this does, it's a transference of negative energy...goes unto the paper and into the🔥fire. It's like purging all the anger out of your body, a clearing of sorts.
I like this. Thanks for sharing.
Thank You Julia for all the ways you communicate for a better world.
Hi Julia. Thanks for your help . My father passed away 2 years ago. He was emotionally abusive and I realize I still have anger from this. I am tired of carrying this around with me. Argh!!!
Thank you for this presentation. I found it very meaningful to me.
really glad it helped
Thank you so much julia you're doing an amazing job!
The "get curious " gets me, i love it. Thank you
This video caught me when I needed an answer I to how to treat my anger issues and dealing with my shame and guilt about treating myself and others poorly. And I am grateful for you making this video. I want to learn more
Great stuff Julia appreciate your wisdom 🙏
thanks for all your support Tamara.
Your a great presenter and communicator.
Hi. I'm Rob...thank you for your help. I've been struggling with anger all my life. After 57 years, I'm beginning to deal with my anger. Thanks again ❤
I really look forward to watching this, and it did not disappoint! I was glad to find out where I am in the offerings you gave, and intentionally focus on that area.
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Golda
Really needed to hear this. Thank you so much
Happy new year Julia thanks for this video I never thought about writing a letter and not sending it to anyone I'm going to do that every time I get mad at someone from my past next time & also Journaling as, have a great week.
This is a good video, Coach!
I am sorry you had felt belittle growing up.
Thanks coach.
#shifter #seniorshifter #shiftsoceity.
Working through a situation it has been so difficult. Not always handled well as build-up mounted until it just got to a bad place. Recently came up again and felt triggered by the situation so I realized I needed to figure out how to get past this. I came across your video and find this useful. Wish I had it earlier but I am gonna try to keep this in my tool box for the future! Thank you
Thank you for this 🥰
Wow, just wow. I feel like your talking directly to just ME ❤️
Thank you for your time and content!
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
so positive. Thanks Julia
amazing video!!!!
You’re my therapist in life!
Same!! My old therapist was also named Julia but UA-cam Julia is much better...and explains, and helps us understand. This channel is a blessing : )
First time here, Thankyou, you've helped someone in only a few minutes from this video.
Went on an anger management course years ago and slowly it's starting to come back due to the stress and the office environment I work in. These tips and channel is going to help me so much thank you.
No job is worth your stress. Try to leave when you can.
I took one too. It was helpful when I took the classes and shortly after. I did not realize I forgot everything, so I'm trying again. Except this time, I am feeling more "resistant" to doing it 😔
This is the most helpful thing I saw in the topic. Thank you Julia. I will start working on the writing thing 🙏
Wow! Thanks, I'm going to listen more.
I've written letters to them and never sent it to them. It made me feel better.
Best therapy session I got for free ever! Thanks!!!!
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
Great job Julia
Thank you Julia !
Tysm
Excellent video!
Thank you for support
This truly is what I needed and I really hope I can change 🙏
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
Thanks so much for the awesome and wonderful video JULIA! My day always gets off to a great start when I watch one of your amazing videos. You are light of my world ❤️🙏🌏🌈
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
Thank you!
Thanks for the support 🧡🤗
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
That’s so helpful to me thank you
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
Love your videos
Yes I totally agree 👍
🤍✌🏻🤍Thank you for this!!!! ✨
Thank you ❤
❤ I appreciate your efforts
Thank you so much
Thankyou so much
Amazing 😢
Just wanted to say thank you
Hello Julia Kristina happy New Years
Happy New Year Maria!
Hi I am Mervat . You just describe me these few days 😩😩
The one person I can think of that benefits from being angry all the time is The Incredible Hulk. He might deal with it better if he didn't have to change his clothes all the time but even still, only in a comic book are you a hero if you lose your temper and smash something.
tears . thank you ,
Hey Julia I'm Nati Jackson from Erie, Pansalvenia. I love what you do and I want to be a part of the shift society. Also I'm interested in one on one therapy sessions. Let me know thanks 😊
How do you deal with negative andpeople who want to be in charge and have no patience
Anyway he did a great presentation good job keep up the good work
Becoming angry when needed is normal. But as I tell my own subscribers--staying in that state is not. Suffering from chronic anger causes a few problems. First it impedes your progress. By draining your energy that you should be using to advance yourself. Ever been angry all day at work then skipped that night workout? That's probably why. But it also isn't physically healthy and can lead to long term effects on the heart and doctors now think future cancer as well. Not to mention high blood pressure. There are two simple methods I tell my own people how to control anger. One you have with you--your breathing. You can breathe in a meditative state while walking down the street. You picture a coil slowly unwinding as if you were breathing through your stomach. Slow and in and out. Wind the coil and let it go slowly. It calms you down and if you do it every few hours for maybe ten reps then it keeps you calm. Second--reflect on what you are growing angry about. Is it really going to affect you even four months from now? You'll find many times it won't. So I would use these techniques to minimize anger so you can only progress forward. Hope that helps someone out there---Charles
manifested it?
was really trying to calm myself down and saw you uploaded
🌟 🌟 🌟
I love it when stuff like that happens!
Many of possibly grew up in cultures and families where it was quite normal for adults to vent their spleen and emotionally and physically abuse the kids ... all in the name of discipline and a kind of spare the rod and spoil the childattitde .
Older folks among us were quite used to thinking that being " on the boil " at all times was part of adult privilege !
Accordingly , we're ( wrongly ) copying that behaviour and consider it " normal " .
So glad at least some of us managed to break that cycle of abuse ... I didn't succeed and now , at almost 72 , look back at the many occasions when things could have been handled in a much kinder and peaceful fashion !
Thanks ever so much for showing us how !!
I’m 70. My dad’s side of the family actually admired family members who could tell someone off. A common expression was (said with admiration) “He opened up such a mouth!” It was like someone admiring a boxer for throwing a good left hook.
What would you recommend for a letter/an email that one actually sends?
Here and got your
6
🌟 ❤
True. Anger stems from hurt.
"Unfulfilled expectations"
Would the anger that surfaces to cover up my fear or shame have to do with one of my egos?
just wanted to thank you I wrote in the comments just a little bit ago but I did not enter correctly ha ( just me ) anyway what I said was I have a anger issue and this helps so much ! I am not very good at typing but so I dont want to repet what I wrote it was cleen but to write it down felt so uplifting and I gotta say I dddddddo feel better now not so gulity ok I lost my kool in front of a bunch of people last summer and I do feel terrable about it but now there is now help your the best!
Hi Stephanie here this was helpful
Feedback appreciated...👍
Wanting more info and insight..?
Whatapp the number above..
Endeavor to reach out..💬
I was physically attacked last October. Even before I felt a dark rage toward this person. . I still have the flashbacks and feel rage. I was punched in the head and I noticed I was feeling a lot of rage.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, how awful! I would be rageful if I was in your shoes, no doubt. Praying for you ❤
@@marygb777 I am doing good now and I just got into more quiet and creative activities. If I do get together with people I go to a spiritual organization to pray, meditate, or do volunteer work. 🙏Next time you meet someone who is overly complimenting or overly optimistic. You are dealing with a narcissist. Run away as fast as you can. This is what I have learned from all of this. I thank Hashem for the great people in my life now. I know I am in a better place.
Hi I’m new here but so far from this video I have some tools to try bc I feel like have a heavy 1000 pounds of anger on me at all times thank you
Thank you i try to figure out what is the feeling under anger and it is rejection bit it is belitle and looking down on my that am not important to listen to it is from my childhood and what to heal that wond but dont know exactly how ?
There’s no innocent reason like really just afraid etc. I’m just angry, and always have been.
I'm looking fo your meditation in emails where do we sign up again ? 🤔 ty ❤️
I returned to college after 30 years outside of academics. My classes have not been going well. Just a "C" in Calculus I. I was furious because I know I should be making all "A"s. Furious for weeks. I wanted to flunk Calculus just to spite the teacher. To write zeros (0) on the exams and admit I was not ready (and it was "all their fault" so I wanted to hurt "them" - the professors and advisers - in devious, ugly, mean back-handed ways since class grades reflect on the teacher and staff.)
That was insanity. Completely self-destructive. I was helping create a toxic environment of hostility in class. I might have been able to make "A"s intellectually (I love to think and puzzle things out) but I was not able to do so emotionally. And that is what my grades reflected. My behavior, my state of mind, was unfit for success.
Anger is healthy, a good defense mechanism. But, not when it is used to avoid your own responsibility for the issues you are facing. The problem I am having - the only thing that is making me furious (or was) - is that I WAS NOT DEVOTING ANY F-ING time to college. And I had absolute craploads of time to devote. (Yes, I was being a lazy idiot.)
I wanted it to be easy, knew I could make easy "A"s, blamed my incredibly crappy parents (they had major issues of their own, which I understand, but understanding has not healed the hurt yet) and everyone else around me in my past life.
I was the one hurting me. I did not have a good childhood, but I am an adult. I am in control. If I am unhappy I have full means of making myself happy. I know what I want to make myself happy (a good relationship and nice job) and only I am preventing that.
I want anyone watching these videos, trying to deal with excess anger to ask themselves: are your steering your boat onto the rocks offshore so you can get out, merrily set it on fire, and watch it burn, baby, burn. Are you the one causing yourself to be angry?
And once you accept that, you are the one who can turn the rudder away from disaster and onto a happier, easier cruise of life. Explore your issues, look for answers, and hopefully you will realize you are the answer you are looking for. Chill out. Use the passion you are exhibiting through your drive to make yourself red-hot angry to deal with the issues you are forcing onto yourself and as such make yourself happy.
Brief, ordinary, anger is a good driving force. Listen to what it is telling you about yourself.
That is the only and biggest obstacle I face now: Myself.
Feedback appreciated...👍
Wanting more info and insight..?
Whatapp the number above..
Endeavor to reach out..💬
You had me on the first few lines
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.
I need this. I just accidentally hurt some close to me by pushing them. I need to control my anger asap.
I felt so much rage for toward this person because she would have this competition with others and would belittle and tear others down to make herself feel better.. She also thinks she is entitled and superior to others.
Yep. Too many bad people have invaded my life. I wonder what on earth made them do what they did. Manipulating, coercing. All to get their wants met. Fill the emptiness within. It had nothing to do with me. It was them attempting to fill in their 'holes'.
How about when you are angry and you say you are and say what you are angry about to the person and they say to you to calm down and then try to make a joke about what you are angry about..?
That is very triggering when people discount your feelings. I agree. Telling someone to " calm down" is rude .
Where do I find the mindfulness exercise?
Being professional with letters
Is essential
Ok ✌ ✌ ☮
Hi. I've only just come across this video, and it was quite helpful and insightful. However, I have a slightly different problem. I have an underlying feeling of anger, like you mentioned, and lately it is coming to the surface far more regularly than before. I am constantly raging under the surface. And I'm finding myself being triggered far more often and far worse. My problem is that I am a school teacher. So when I feel this anger rising, I don't have the option of removing myself from the situation, or putting my headphones on, and I certainly can't tell my students that I'm feeling this anger and I need a break. Do you have any advice or any ways in which I can deal with that situation? In the video you say it's not good to try ride it out, but what other choice do I have? Anyway, I hope you get to see this comment and hopefully there is some way you can help me out. Thanks for the great video.
thats me. my issue is that I'm in a toxic friendship and all my other friends are liars and none of my friend group actually likes me
What is the “Shift Society, please?
Charlie here. Thank you.
Feedback appreciated...👍
Wanting more info and insight..?
Whatapp the number above..
Endeavor to reach out..💬
Both people suffer w anger in more ways,none more than the other.point I’m trying to make is sometimes that is the only emotion a man can express express bc he can’t express the softer emotions.also anger for men nowadays can be labeled as “toxic masculinity “ from what I’ve observed