Avoiding the Default Parent Trap | Dr. Julie Gottman on Parenting
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- In this insightful video, Dr. Julie Gottman, co-founder of @TheGottmanInstitute and renowned clinical psychologist, addresses a common concern for many parents: "I don't want to become the default parent. What do I do?"
Dr. Gottman delves into the dynamics that often lead one parent to take on the bulk of parenting responsibilities, exploring how this role can unintentionally become a default.
You can find more parenting resources at www.gottman.co...
Staying at home shouldn’t mean you’re the default parent. That just means you’re the parent while they’re at another job. When they get back home they should be prepared to share the load. Working outside of the home does not excuse you from parental responsibilities.
This misses the mark on what being the default parent means, at least today. It doesn't necessarily mean that you, the typically cisgender heterosexual woman, are a stay at home mother and homemaker and may not want to be. It could mean you're working the double shift of being a working parent and the one who not only performs the lion's share of the physical labor but also carries the mental and emotional load of managing the household and childrearing. It's being the one the school always calls when the kid is sick, the one who takes the kid to the doctor, buys the clothes, fixes the boo-boo and tantrum and meals... regardless whether the other parent is present. And it's not just about the other partner not doing their share--it's the societal expectation that you are the one who automatically (ie by default) are, and should be, the one handling those things.
People who love you don’t try to limit, box, belittle, hide, or degrade you. When someone wants you to only care for a home and children, that’s not love. That’s servitude. That relationship would end right then and there
MAN, WOMAN & the WOMB:
SSGFFFF = Submission, Servitude, Gratitude, Fit, Feminine, Friendly and Fun!
SSGFFFF are HER DUTIES to her MAN.
The Bible says it in just two words, "Help Mate".
His are PPPPP = Procreate, Protect, Provide, Preach/teach, Play (In that order)!
Note! To "Protect"means:
1st: To prevent her WOMB from any intrusions from any outside men or harming the being encapsulating it, the WOMB.
2nd - Protect his progeny.
3rd - Protect the home where the WOMB exists.
Notice it didn't say protect her. It's all about her WOMB. Her WOMB is HIS womb. His to provide & keep safe for him, for his use, his progeny, his pleasure. Not hers.
His woman, his womb, his property, his pleasure. Any other attitude towards the WOMB is a FAIL. She needs him to THINK and ACT as if it is HIS PROPERTY. Otherwise, he won't fully PROTECT IT! And that is an empirically proven FACT!
Sorry, sweetie. She, the wife, agreed to do it and made a vow to do it. It's called marriage. She signed up for it. It matters NOT if she didn't know what all she was getting into. IT'S A CONTRACT. Read the fine print. Where? The VOWS. "TILL DEATH." Read it and weep. No exceptions. Period.
@@byenzer5101 I think people want help when it comnes to their side of things while holding the other person to what their role should be
@@godsangel67able I edited my 1st comment. Thx for yours.
@@byenzer5101she the wife agreed to do what exactly? 😂😂
Dr Julie looks radiant in this video. Just received my pre-ordered "fight right" book and I can't wait to start reading! Thanks.