Good Relationships: The Gottman Method | Drs John & Julie Gottman | Ten Percent Happier & Dan Harris

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  • Опубліковано 5 лют 2023
  • Dr John and Julie Gottman on the Gottman Method for Healthy Relationships. If you care about your long term health and happiness, the quality of your relationships is an area you should focus on. And the good news here is that love - as it applies to friends, family, and romantic partners - is not a factory setting, but instead a skill. Drs. John and Julie Gottman from @TheGottmanInstitute are the perfect guests to talk about how to cultivate good relationships in your life.
    World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute [www.gottman.com/] and Affective Software Inc.
    [affectivesoftware.com/] as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work [www.gottman.com/product/the-s...].
    Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of The Gottman Institute
    [www.gottman.com/] and Co-Founder of Affective Software, Inc
    [affectivesoftware.com/]. A highly respected clinical psychologist and
    author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert
    advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex
    marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular
    The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also
    co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples
    Therapy.
    This podcast episode explores: how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of
    conflict; what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together; why
    “there’s no such thing as constructive criticism;” the details of John’s
    research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy
    whether a couple will get divorced; how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes
    to operationalizing their findings/advice; how and why betrayal occurs; when a
    couple should consider separating; the role mindfulness can play in healthy
    relationships; and the role of humor in relationships.
    Content warning: There are a few mentions of sensitive topics, most notably domestic violence, which Julie discusses for a few minutes towards the end of the interview.
    Full Shownotes:
    www.tenpercent.com/podcast-ep...
    Learn more about Ten Percent Happier podcast at www.tenpercent.com/podcast.
    Check out guided meditations alongside practical teachings in the Ten Percent Happier app. Click here [10percenthappier.app.link/ins...] to get started.
    #gottman #danharris #meditation #mentalhealth #mindfulness #dharma #podcast #mindfulnessteacher #adults #anxiety #buddha #buddhism #fitness #health #interview #meditate #men #mental #help #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthtips #mindfulnessmeditation #science #selfawareness #selfhelp #selfhealing #tph #tenpercenthappier #tenpercent #panicattack #panicattackrelief #anxietyrelief #anxietytips
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 39

  • @dr.florence
    @dr.florence 7 місяців тому +62

    I love the Gottmans, bern following for a while. I wished John would say more often what I heard him say ONCE: that *none* of this applies when one of the partners has a deeper mental health issue like a personality disorder or other emotional immaturity. My ex-husband for whom I have no anger, pnly compassion, has borderline personality disorder. My dad is a textbook narcissist. None of the good communication skill methods work with such people who are so traumatised into hurting themselves and others like no tomorrow. So. It's crucial to remember and state clearly that this good stuff can only do its magic when the groundwork is stable.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Місяць тому +6

      Having a personality disorder or trauma does not define this. It's *not wanting to work on it* that's the issue.

  • @JaySims
    @JaySims Рік тому +17

    Im currently in counseling over the Gottman method. They are amazing- just marinating on everything I can find on them on YT- THANK YOU for posting!!!!

  • @matt96920
    @matt96920 3 місяці тому +9

    my fiancé and I are often sarcastic with one another, and we both kind of love it. I think there is a sharp distinction b/w general sarcasm and sarcastic contempt.

  • @andreatorluemke4982
    @andreatorluemke4982 10 місяців тому +5

    We decide to be loyal to cherish what you have! Moment to moment day to day. Exactly

  • @nancyhynes804
    @nancyhynes804 10 місяців тому +3

    Excellent, delightful interview and conversation. Thank you!

  • @elliegonzalez2300
    @elliegonzalez2300 11 місяців тому +3

    Thank you! I really enjoyed this interview😃

  • @desiemehrabian1133
    @desiemehrabian1133 2 місяці тому +3

    This is a really good podcast. I really like the concrete techniques. In my experience humor can also come out as sarcasm cynicism which can minimize what the other person wants to talk about

  • @robynwilliams766
    @robynwilliams766 2 місяці тому +2

    I love these two!!!

  • @loveswintertrees
    @loveswintertrees 21 день тому +2

    Why do they never talk about verbal and emotional abuse where the perpetrator doesn’t take responsibility. The victim can’t claim partial responsibility for it

  • @nadiar8244
    @nadiar8244 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you so much for this priceless opportunity to learn 🙏

  • @watercolourartincapetown2919
    @watercolourartincapetown2919 3 місяці тому +5

    15:11
    I feel
    I want
    I need
    🤗

  • @brendacole736
    @brendacole736 7 місяців тому +1

    I love ALL your video's 😊 I have learned so so much, I have hope that what I am learning can repair my marriage. Thank you so very much

    • @TenPercentHappier
      @TenPercentHappier  7 місяців тому

      We are so glad you enjoy them! Thank you for your kindness.

  • @amyrobeson
    @amyrobeson Рік тому +1

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @niksartain4090
    @niksartain4090 Рік тому +3

    Have y'all talked about doing video podcasts for YT? Would love to have a visual aid to take the conversations in through if possible!

    • @TenPercentHappier
      @TenPercentHappier  Рік тому +2

      Hopefully soon! Thanks for taking the time to comment and let us know!

  • @LysaDSmith
    @LysaDSmith 4 місяці тому +2

    29:17

  • @KellerLatina
    @KellerLatina 5 місяців тому +1

    Soo many ads on this video. Not conducive to happy listener.

  • @jaredvaughan1665
    @jaredvaughan1665 3 місяці тому +5

    John is INTJ.
    His relationship advice is more thinking and reason based than the emotional based advice of INFJ created Emotion Focused Therapy.

    • @TenPercentHappier
      @TenPercentHappier  3 місяці тому +1

      Interesting thought!

    • @j.3069
      @j.3069 23 дні тому

      Hm, I understood it's not his personal advice but research, recording and watching what couples did differently who stayed together happily.

    • @dragonfish888
      @dragonfish888 14 днів тому

      Which MBTI is Julie? I’ve always wondered who would date an INTJ?

  • @treplay8846
    @treplay8846 4 місяці тому +1

    That hat will do it

  • @rovalq1
    @rovalq1 4 місяці тому +5

    I don't know why, but listen to her. I feel annoyed.

    • @belindaborja8788
      @belindaborja8788 2 місяці тому +1

      She hardly let's him speak, kind of a know it all vibe. She's knowledgeable for sure but overbearing

    • @eagle2516
      @eagle2516 Місяць тому

      I think we can choose to be KIND despite how we FEEL

    • @eagle2516
      @eagle2516 Місяць тому +1

      ​@belindaborja8788 we don't know how they both agreed in speaking in the interview, we ought to be nothing but just kind, and grateful to receive their knowledge

    • @dragonfish888
      @dragonfish888 14 днів тому

      In other interviews, she dominates and often answers first. If John is an INTJ, then she might be extroverted which explains why she dominates the conversation.

  • @belindaborja8788
    @belindaborja8788 2 місяці тому +3

    Does she ever let him speak more than a few words?

    • @dragonfish888
      @dragonfish888 14 днів тому

      One way not to ruin relationships is to stay silent and follow the Happy Wife method. Sarcasm lol.