Why Are the Chinese Not Getting Married?
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- Опубліковано 17 чер 2024
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00:00 How important is it to have a house in China?
03:16 How can Chinese men afford a house?
09:04 Why are Chinese people not having kids?
12:53 Why are there more single women than men in China?
16:12 Leftover women in China.
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@@L17_8
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (1 Timothy 6:10)
She looks completely Korean. are you sure she's Chinese.
Thanks Asian Boss for doing this but such a topic should have been a panel discussion between several Chinese consisting of at least 3 to 4 men and 3 to 4 women.
Such a panel could help show different POV on this issue.
Please also do another panel on this with 4 married Chinese married "vs" 4 unmarried Chinese.
Thanks again for this discussion.
STOP EATING EVERYTHING THAT MOVES U #nazis
I remember when I went to China in 2012 as a college student, and was talking to other men in a college in Wuhan they said they probably couldn't get married to their girlfriends for another 8-10 years at least. I was really surprised. One guy, who was so smart and handsome didn't think he could get married at all because he was from the countryside and his family didn't have any money. The conversation started because one of the guys in our group (we are Americans) was talking about how he was getting married in a couple months and they were looking for a cheap apartment to rent, and the guys were like, "Are you sure her parents are okay with that?!"
Western men are so disrespectful to other parents daughters. Women should have more self respect there and marry eastern respectful men in my opinion so these western men can learn how to be a real man.
It’s the older generation that’s really the obstacle to this country making any sort of real progress. Until they die off like flies, as cruel as it sounds, this country has reached its peak for the foreseeable future and will only continue to go downhill from here onwards. Of course the West isn’t much better, when you have essentially a gerontocracy in the States. A big obstacle for a lot of Chinese men is the “bride price” (reverse dowry), where the man’s expected to give a sum of money to the woman’s family as “compensation” for the woman’s family raising their daughter. It’s totally wrong and unacceptable to me, but at the same time I wonder whether the reason it’s allowed to continue is because people (both men and women) let it continue and don’t push back against it.
@@AbsoluteZero6714 True, I cant tell you how many times I have complained for example in University's that are paid with our tax money to be more flexible by offering videos of the lectures that they can do and there are teachers that do that in some courses. For the purpose of people with disability's, working person or has family life, or person socially inferior and has to work to have the ability to study. By the way its in our laws that its not aloud to discriminate people with disability's nore other people that are socially inferior position due to having to work. It seems to work to sue them to actually see a change and go to the media and call these people out!
@@AbsoluteZero6714As a modern Chinese girl, it is pity that the situation is an unsolvable issue at least in a decade. Our girls are willing to trust “true love”, there were many cases of “high quality girls” marrying “poor quality guys”, indeed. But they all turned to tragedies(at least I didn’t hear any exceptions), those girls who got married without any dowry or required for any material possessions were treated like babysitters by their husbands and parents-in-law… They looked down the girls and thought the girls were cheap which meant they would lose nothing if the girls left. That’s why our girls turn to require material things, it doesn’t mean we “want to” but we “have to”. Of course, it’s also true that there are many girls just want to marry rich guys.
@@AbsoluteZero6714 sometimes that's not the case. They have to register household there to get their children to school. It's a hukou problem.
I dated a girl in the mid 2010s whom had migrated from China. She has been here for over 5 years at the time we met. We only dated for 3 months. We were perfectly fine during our courtship, until she had "the chat" from her parents. Then one day, everything changed. The penny dropped. It wasn't about love anymore. The questions started. And as soon as she asked about my wage, it went downhill from there. I was 26 at the time. Driving a Toyota camry, having a full time job, I had just acquired some land and started laying the foundations. It was not enough for her parents. Her parents thought I should be driving a BMW by now, and have 3 properties under my name. She seemed torn and confused. I suppose it dawned on her that the money was more important. And that was that. I'm happily married now to a lovely woman. I drive that same Camry, live in the house I mentioned, still have a full time job, and building a side hustle. -Australia
Good for you man. Whenever it's about money, love goes out of the window. A good women will stick with you through good and bad days, money or no money.
Bro u really dodged a bullet trust me
lmao need to have a good depreciating asset. thats how you stay poor haha
@aznmarinex2 sorry, I don't understand what that is. I know what a depreciating asset is. But what is a "good" depreciating asset?
@@samlai5411 im assuming the BMW is a good depreciating asset
2024: "who can afford a house"
2029: "who can afford food???" LOL
They just banned lab-grown meat in some states already too
This is the century of consequences. That whooshing, flapping, rustling sound is the chickens coming home to roost.
The policy of socialism (small house for all) during the Soviet Union time , meant that 93% of the Russian🇷🇺 population owned houses and 7% rented houses. 40.000Homeless.
Meanwhile in the United States🇺🇸.63% own a home. 33.5% live in rental homes.0.5% / 500,000 people live as homeless .
No, just wait 2 years. Once it becomes too hard to bring Rural Hukou ‘immigrants’ into the city to perform manual labour, when costs rise too high to pay day labourers, food transport and restaurants will die off.
Delivery drivers are already getting 4 yuan to make a delivery, 12 hours of driving to make USD $50 a day, if you can afford to rent, eat, refuel and handle maintenance. When that population drops, they are going broke suddenly and quickly.
Supermarkets are already dying in major cities in China because they rely on these temporary workers to exist. Some city populations are halved if you remove immigrant workers.
ROFTL
in China, without owning your house, your kids has no school to go. House is associate all the welfare system(your kids school, medical care, pension) in China, renting doesn`t count. That`s the key why house price can be fully controlled to get this pike.
Thank you for this information, it has given more light to the situation
You do have options of schools just compromised
@@zhiyuangao7212 That's the greatest understatement of the 21st century so far. Thank you, I truly mean that.
Eh, no.
In Shanghai, you rent an apartment and you got a job, you have the right to attend kindergarten, elementary school and middle school in your school district.
As for high school, it has nothing to do with owning house, neither.
You need to have a Shanghai hukou.
@@mingchen-bt8xiyes but that’s the problem, right? Getting a Shanghai hukou.
marriage is based on material possession and finances more than any other country over there.
most divorce occur as an result of economic difficulty. So the wisdom is to have stability financially before you settle down
You mean everywhere
that apply to every developed and devloping country too
@@levelazn nope
many many reason combined together
compatibility issues might be the biggest reason
cause rich people getting divorces straight up debunk your theory
also low income people should be getting divorced in all part of the world
When they are at the bottom rungs with low ethical and morality cultivated, maslow hierarchy applies.
As an Indian, I would say this issue is global, and not only for Chinese. In India, we are having a same kind of situation like this girl said 😢
Asians are conservative!!!
India doesn't have to worry. There are banana leaves and cow poop
India doesn't have to worry. There are banana leaves and cow poop
Here a lot of guys are not getting married because they don't have a proper(govt) job . Absolute poverty is no longer a problem . But getting good jobs and getting well settled is a problem now .
@@debanikgoswami4834 everyone is thinking about better and better... Greed of getting a luxury, beauty and certain standards effects the biological process of human being.
reason why young people have zero interest to marry
- high cost living.
- have lot commitment. Marriage is a big responsibility and many of them cannot carry this responsibility and duty.
- find suiteable partner is really difficult.
- marriage and children is expensive
I agree with this list.
Exactly same in korea
Don't forget Japan as well@@fedupwithbs1782
How about because the failure in education and cultural rot? The young are thought to be selfish and irresponsible.
@@turtlesoup8134 Selfish and irresponsable ? Responsable of what exactly ? Continuing the human specie ? We are 8 billion, no need for that...
it's exactly same the answer why Chinese not getting married as Korean, because cost of living , life in China is really exhausted and kinda depressed , the quality of life will drastically declined if someone got married even have any children.
Same reason with Japan too.
Wow east asia will collapse..
That’s the same in Korea! All the homegrown East Asians that never grow up outside in a foreign country like the US follow this folktale traditions. If the guy don’t own their own home, car, and have a career and money then no honey lol
But there are still many people getting busy entering marriage in China though the number has declined in recent years.
No, quite different reason. Chinese wife has a lot of power in normal and middle class families. Chinese works no where near as much as koreans do nor as expensive as the koreans because the gov makes most things much cheaper in China such as medical cost, housing etc. When the house price is too high, the gov purposely deflate the bubble, when the education cost is too high, they ban most tutoring that is responsible for most of the extra education cost. Chinese don't even have to pay for property tax and many get grey income that they don't report to the gov. Life can get seriously depressing if you are in the midst of the most capitalist place like Shanghai or Shenzhen, but in most Chinese cities, life pace is not that fast, not as competitive, and many people has spare time to do whatever they like.
I lived in China for many years and the financial stipulations that are tied to marriage are extremely toxic. Number one the boy has to produce a large sum of money, called a dowry to his girlfriend’s family, if they break up, she keeps the money. Another stipulation is that he hast to have a house, car, Stable job and everything in order to even be considered worthy. My wife and I got married at the time that we got married. I did not produce any of these things. Ironically we are still married with three children and doing extremely well. My point is what they are putting out there, as conditions for dating marriage are extremely unattainable in today’s society
I find the concept of dowry really interesting . So in places like China and arab nations in the middle East the boy gives the dowry while in places like India ,Pakistan and Bangladesh the boy gets the dowry
Its technically bride's price and not dowry.
In india dowry is illegal....in fact it's one of the things women accuse husband's family of during divorce just to torture the husband's family@@danischannel
no one really wants to get married more like a partner to help pay the bills
I think porn has destroyed the worlds life style, why have a women who speaks all the time when you can have a sexdoll that never speaks.
Actually I have spent a lot on time to solve this issue and it seems that the main reason of this situation is… Chinese woman itself. Because basically, nowadays with an access to an internet Chinese men have an insight to women across any countries. Now with the point of reference an average Chinese man is aware that Chinese woman is much below the average in terms of: personality, appearance (face and women features - they are basically flat), fashion&music taste, breath quality and general body odours, manners, genes, knowledge&IQ levels, soul, talent, teeth, freedom and social awareness. It’s lowkey sad that this video didn’t include any of this point which leaves the problem unsolved.
@@Dokuzu the same thing can be said of men, its actually a phenomena because of TV, after TV every man and women wants a partner like they see in the TV.
In India women now even want the groom to dance in the weeding because that is what happens in bollywood movies and shows, when I said to my to be wife I can't dance she said then the weeding is off.
@@polaris1985 in comparison to Europe.. Chinese and Indian women are completely other category… to say the least
@@Dokuzuugly?😂
Thanks Asian Boss for doing this but such a topic should have been a panel discussion between several Chinese consisting of at least 3 to 4 men and 3 to 4 women.
Such a panel could help show different POV on this issue.
Please also do another panel on this with 4 married Chinese married "vs" 4 unmarried Chinese.
Thanks again for this discussion.
yes，collisions requiring different perspectives
Yes,I totally agree
Sure, but like virtually any other topic, no one is going to engage in the discussion in good faith when they have a vested interest in it.
So what you have is men arguing that men are worse off because of the materliasm, and women arguing that this is men's responsibility and that men ought to provide.
Absolutely agree. This is interesting but I'm skeptical of how representative it is of the whole population
Saw a compilation of 'high value' Chinese women 30 to 35. They had the looks, the degrees, the careers, the actual BMW's, an investment property or two and every attempt at starting a relationship with a similar status guy ends with 'too old' or 'not serious'. It's just the rural farmer guys that really go for it. It's not representative, but it does paint a grim picture.
This is so informative and I like the conversation style. It bridges current experience with perceptions of non Chinese.
I'd recommend some caution in stereotype-based generalizations, which this video's perceptions certainly are. Even more so as this video presents a very narrow stereotype. Stereotypes are a nice, convenient way to understand the world, but generally inaccurate when it comes down to individuals. As you would probably experience around Chinese people who have rigid stereotypes of Americans.
Asking great questions. Excellent interview
It's surprising and sad because life was more miserable 200 years ago and yet people married and have a family. The real reason isn't what everyone thinks it is. The real reason is because modern life is incompatible with marriage and children. The real reason is because people no longer value having a family or see family as a means of survival.
Another reason that is deeply unpopular and cannot be said in the mainstream is because life is getting better, people are becoming more educated, and human rights are improving. Places where there are war, zero education, and low human rights are where birth rates are high. It's a fact.
nope
i disaggree with you on every point
you're saying people don't wanna love and be loved
no amount of platonic love can replace romantic love
no alternate of husband wife and children relationship exist in world
life is getting better - for whom?
problem is money and free time
give ppl that
you will see abundance in marriage and baby boom
watch scott gallaway recent ted talks
people used to have 2-3 kids at 26
lovely spouse their own house
their own car
and people were so happy
our generation is efcked to the core
living pay check to paycheck
capitalism has brainwashed that money is very thing
@@Ghost-pb4ts People have more free time and expendable money than ever, at least in the West. The original comment, in regards to the West and western influenced countries, is absolutely correct.
@@roren4762 Scott Galloway: How the US is destroying young people's future
Ted talks
he quote data unlike TRUST ME BRO
i can quote you so much data source reference
that UA-cam will delete my comment on detecting it as spam
Education
Travel
Housing
Inflation
marriage ceremony
Food
Health
Will blow your expandable money out of the water
and regarding free time
i think you guys don't have real jobs
@@roren4762 scott gelaway ted talks
Having done tarot readings for quite a few Chinese women, mostly in Beijing, one thing I don’t hear in this program is the pressure on women after marriage to do everything! They are expected to work, have children and be responsible for the raising and schooling of them, do the cooking and housework, make sure the husband is king, look beautiful so he won’t stray, take care of both their parents and their in-laws and the death duties of both. The husband is supposed to work, go to office drinking parties, have parents who will provide a home, and do the death duties for only his own parents. What does the wife get out of all this? She’ll be more successful in her career if she is not married and can have nice things and a social life with friends. Loneliness may be the highest price - maybe.
At the end of it all , she’ll most likely be dumped for a trophy wife when her husband prospers with her years of faithful support 😂
Give me a tarot for when the sky starts crying, thanks.
your information is out of date now, girls are more like queens after getting married, I mean the current generations, which is the problem of fewer people getting married. education and tiktok ruin the decency of a woman being a woman or being a decent individual
No hell no we don’t live like 19th century Chinese 😳 I don’t know what you are reading but most educated Chinese aren’t misogynistic chauvinists like that
The policy of socialism (small house for all) during the Soviet Union time , meant that 93% of the Russian🇷🇺 population owned houses and 7% rented houses. 40.000Homeless.
Meanwhile in the United States🇺🇸.63% own a home. 33.5% live in rental homes.0.5% / 500,000 people live as homeless .
tbh, I think the house price is really the center of Not Getting Married. it's not only happend in China, I'm Chinese, living in Sydney, so many friends are facing this issue here. Local white couple, koeran and chinsese couple, etc.
Some ppl blame on gov, soem blame on immigrantion. But overall, Housing prices are indeed a bubble, but they are directly proportional to the local economy. You want more income, but in areas with more income, housing prices are unaffordable. This is a endless circle. n the later stages of the development of capitalism, there will gradually be a tendency to make it impossible to afford a house. What’s even more frightening is that things you think you can buy easily now may be sky-high in a few decades.
Some ppl alredy know this fact, so they refuse to have a baby.
The policy of socialism (small house for all) during the Soviet Union time , meant that 93% of the Russian🇷🇺 population owned houses and 7% rented houses. 40.000Homeless.
Meanwhile in the United States🇺🇸.63% own a home. 33.5% live in rental homes.0.5% / 500,000 people live as homeless .
I am not try to judge any politics, it's just the real life happend now....sadly. For 2 bedroom, ppl pay at least 900,000aud in Sydney, same in Beijing and Shanghai(maybe more). Compared to getting married and having children, young people will of course choose to be kinder to themselves
You gave all reasons, except for the main reason. Where is women empowerment? How can women contribute nothing in this world of gender equality? Why only men should bear the burden? Make these women contribute their share, in buying houses, in nurturing children, in daily expenses. Both should do jobs to achieve this. Then you will see a solution. Women's greed is the main problem here.
That is what communism is supposed to work. Everyone goes to work and government took the pay and redistribute so everyone gets a place to live etc. but people still prefer capitalism as communism won't work long term. But the drawback of capitalism is poor getting poor and rich getting richer.
@@vincentc7920 the probelem is that those who are in charge of resource allocation will eventually become the privilege, no matter it is capitalism or socialism.
there must be a new political system or enconmic system to replace them, In china, there are actually no room for communism now lol, it is capitalism for sure.
Maybe there will be new doctrines after the war, maybe hundreds of years later, but in this era we live in, the problem of resource allocation is probably difficult to solve. After all, people need motivation to survive.
no money, no honey.
是的。没钱就无法找到对象。
False. Women are easy when you know how to play
@@cooliipieThose men are not looking for easy women.
@@natashadickson4819
All women are easy for the right man
No Honey, No marriage
this is a great and honest explanation of the phenomenon, really appreciate the guest
Getting married and having a kid is about love and sacrifice. Maybe it is not a good idea to do it if it’s about finances 😂
Plan your financial stability before marriage and children.
Historically, marriage is about finance and security. Love marriages are fairly recent and is mostly a Western concept
idyllic, and I hope you find someone who doesn't care if you have a penny or a billion. As for myself, I'm not very interested in self-sacrificing lol 🤨
I really want to know, how much of it is a feeling among twentysomethings and thirtysomethings that "my upbringing was so miserable and insecure, I don't want to pass that pain on to a future generation".
Im 51, Westerner, and i think this way
@@cz2301it's been reported that objectively humans are the wealthiest they have ever been in the current generation. Especially in the west, now is the best time to be alive.
But subjectively people are more depressed than ever
If the twenty and thirtysomethings upbringing was miserable, what does it make of the sixtysomethings? Their generation went from zero post-Mao to literal millionaires, building the family wealth that the younger gens now benefit from. Miserable twentiesomethings? Hardly.
@@cz2301 haha yeah right, I can tell by your English 🤣🤣
I am.
Less than 1000 “eligible” bachelors exist in China out of 1.4 billion people. The wealth needed to buy an apartment or home at 20-25, while the average income is well below 50-80k yuan (under $10k USD) a year. You need to be a criminal or work for one. It’s a 40 year mortgage for a home that you don’t own. Think about that.
City Hukou is the main factor for the house negotiation.
There are “no single mothers” in China, because children can’t be registered to a single, unmarried woman. So the numbers are heavily skewed. Single mothers can’t access government services unless they have a husband, or a family member who is registered as the parent. So a lot of these unwed mothers register their children as “cousins” or “sisters” of their parents, neighbours or family members. Or they adopt their own children from an orphanage to get around the legal status problems of being unwed.
The idea that women are greedy ? Absolutely. It’s their lifeline if a boyfriend gets them pregnant because the children cannot be registered to an unmarried couple. The population control system of the Household Register is a massive Caste/Tier issue that creates a lot of greed and corruption. It’s fair to say that every crime in China, is partially due to the Hukou being in place. It doesn’t create crime, it’s just another factor to divide people and generate false prestige.
Pregnancy is a major factor for the Chinese to actually address, as the elderly population is above replacement rates. It also means the health care of these elderly is more expensive, as there is no retirement age or pension system that is scaled/indexed. The children are supposed to keep their parents and grandparents healthy, not health insurance or government.
Having a house in a City, and the Husband has a City Hukou, guarantees your children will have insurance, access to schools, access to medical care, etc. And it also guarantees your children can get married in the future as well.
Add to this, women want prestige and that’s going to University/College for 4 to 8 years during their “prime marriage years” of 20-24. After 30-35, these working women are considered “middle aged” or leftover. Same with men who go into work for 10 years or the military. They become leftover men. Employment and loans become harder to obtain.
Families step in to marry their children, under Hukou, are being gamed to want the 0.01% of society, and it isn’t very practical, because the men who can afford a house/apartment in a City area, need to be exceptionally wealthy due to family, and these boys become playboys, chased by models and gold diggers.
There isn’t a form of “settling” in the big cities. The affordability of city homes makes it impossible to have a stable population.
My parents were married through a matchmaker in the 60s in Hong Kong. And according to my mom, before she met my dad, he was first introduced to another girl, but that girl’s parents told him he had to buy a house for them (not for her, but for the parents) before marrying their daughter.
And that kind of entitlement typical of many Asian in-laws, yet they wonder why their kids don’t want to get married?
I can understand the dowry and maybe having a house for them... But for the parents.
Even YOUR own parents expecting you to build a house for them who be entitled to an extent but at least they raised you and took care of you in most cases but for a complete stranger like they are selling their daughter. And they won't refund you if she cheats, gets bored, let's herself go physically, denies her man intimacy. . . 🧐🧐🧐🧐
This was a wonderful discussion!
If a man can’t afford to support his family then it’s going to be stressful on him, his wife and children because they will struggle in society. Who wants to be poor?
The policy of socialism (small house for all) during the Soviet Union time , meant that 93% of the Russian🇷🇺 population owned houses and 7% rented houses. 40.000Homeless.
Meanwhile in the United States🇺🇸.63% own a home. 33.5% live in rental homes.0.5% / 500,000 people live as homeless .
What is the woman going to bring to the table, especially in the present world of women empowerment, gender equality? If only man provides, then women empowerment is useless, isn't it? Give up on that first, how about that!
If africans can have 12 children with 2 dollars a month then you can too
@@carkawalakhatulistiwaOkay, China has enough housing for twice its population. Still means nothing. China has to pay other countries for fuel, good, fertilizer, and raw materials. Without that, 90% of those houses become worthless to even live in because they’re in economically worthless areas. Soviet Union had plenty of natural resources, China doesn’t.
@@carkawalakhatulistiwafunny how the host scoffs at the sustainability of free housing for all, but thinks $1 million shacks are normal.
need betrothal money to give to bride's family (depending on the place), need house (ideally fully paid), need savings (certain amount depending on the place), need car, need a good paying job earning a minimum requirement, need certain height etc among the many other requirements.
Recently read somewhere that in Hanzhou they hosted a match making event where no males turned up and only females.
Exactly.
Sounds like some of the minimum criteria I would look for myself, except the betrothal part (there is no such tradition here in America), because I meet those requirements myself and plan to maintain the same style of living after marriage.
My junior in my lab is from China. He said he wants to marry his girlfriend but he feels like he's not good enough yet because her family is a bit rich. Which is why he went abroad to study in my lab to get a master's degree and get work experience. So that when he goes back he can use the work experience and degree to work for a good company in China, and then propose to his girlfriend.
There is a possibility that his girlfriend can’t wait that much long😢😢😂😂
@@Peppa-tf1ms Hmm not sure, he says his gf wants to call him like every other day. And come visit soon. Maybe she'll go crazy idk
His girlfriend will be 35 by the time he gets his degree, a good job and salary and then owns a house, car and enough savings for dowry and honeymoon . . . Unless he has some sort of side hustle to increase his earnings
@@ArmyWolves I'm not sure what his exact financial situation is but him and his girlfriend are in their early 20s (he's 22ish) so I think he can pull it off by his late 20s if he lands a decent job
This is such a typical Chinese thing that people make their lives miserable for BS. As a Chinese myself I can never relate. The first 18 years of my life when I was in China I’ve always felt like an alien😂 I’m so glad my parents never seen marriage in a Chinese way probably because they’ve spent years in different countries around the world. I used to almost marry a Spanish guy (we were engaged but didn’t happen eventually cuz I was too young and realized I wasn’t ready for marriage, now he’s happily married with my best wishes to him). Before the engagement, I’ve never asked about his or his family’s financials (I knew they’re middle class and that’s it), and my parents never talked about the dowry. They just told me as long as we really love each other & we’re sure about the marriage, they’ve prepared a large sum of money & some nice jewelry pieces which they will give us both as our marriage gift… 😢omg till now I’m so grateful.
I like your explanation, clear easy to understand, and informative, Great Thank You.
I dont think anyone is getting married anymore.. I know i'm not.
im just too broke to get marry
@@benweilu4839 it'll only get worse if you do. count your blessings. i'm not against marriage - just against it for me.
"If you're a regular guy, then you're screwed" - Stephen 15:25, Asian Boss.
Thanks!
This was very interesting.
The policy of socialism (small house for all) during the Soviet Union time , meant that 93% of the Russian🇷🇺 population owned houses and 7% rented houses. 40.000Homeless.
Meanwhile in the United States🇺🇸.63% own a home. 33.5% live in rental homes.0.5% / 500,000 people live as homeless .
How's that working out lately?
Keep in mind, socialist countries had no imperative to honor or be accountable to inaccuracies. They all understood that they were being lied to, because the implication was… it was worse outside. Their survival required this lie.
Housing being a need, is not feasible in the long term. It means that the population has to decline rapidly. It requires thousands of people to go bankrupt or sell property on a monthly basis. Over 1% of the population has to sell or move house every year to make home affordability without renting work. There is no way to achieve this without modifying economic conditions enormously, or create artificial conditions for growth.
Putting every citizen in a home is deeply flawed. It makes sense… until you need to generate an economy in the population. Because owning the house isn’t the end, it’s the beginning of a series of ongoing costs and taxes.
It wasn’t. It was far worse if you knew, because that knowledge was not tolerated, understood or could be used. The entire system of socialism only works if you murder vast numbers of people who are unwilling to behave.
They regularly lied about their own results and used the work product of others to hide problems and faults. Crime was rampant, but it wasn’t reported or recorded. Serial killers regularly killed thousands of people a year without consequence, luring people away with work and offers of compensation. Police were often making money by selling stolen goods.
Even the Chinese don’t believe in their own statistics. Why would they. It doesn’t affect their own problems.
You also have to remember, peasants lived in squatter cities, built so that everyone could hear their neighbours talking. You would know when people had food to eat, what time they had a shower, etc. The modern cubicle office has more privacy and security than a Soviet era home.
The Soviet Union ended its existence with "Bush's chicken legs" (the name of the humanitarian aid that was delivered to the new Russia)
wait, I didn't quite get the argument... you vouch for the small house for all idea? Honestly, that sounds nice, unless you work smarter and harder, but are required to give up the fruits of your labor. I'd be pretty unmotivated under such a system.
The man providing the house is more deeply rooted in this culture than mentioned in the video. Since historical times women marry into the family and the man is expected to provide for the family. Also, China doesnt have alimony in divorce so I guess this is the only way that women who are cheated on can feel secure to provide for herself and especially any children if they get divorced in the future
Alimony doesn't work that way. It is not male providing to female. It works the way that high income provides to low income. And China does have alimony. The cheating side should provide a one time lump sum amount. And Chinese law protects women way too much and usually women cheating doesn't bear any consequence and also a lot of times men realized their children aren't their biological children years years after the children grow up and they still need to pay the child support and the women doesn't bear any fault by punishment from the law.
当然有离婚抚养费，怕离婚跟养孩子根本没关系
May not have alimony but property settlements still happens.
How about her getting a job, working 50h per week in menial, tedious, physical, exhausting, back crushing job till she's 70 years old?
Why not?
She's strong, brave and independent! Go girl, you can do it, and pay voluntary alimony to her ex-husband! You, go girl!
Men with money in china are expected to cheat on their wives
Actually she's already mentioned about why even though there's more dudes alot more of more married than her female friends.
It's simple women typically don't date down but guys will do it.
I like how open and direct she is! Pretty fast answering and that’s cool
marriage is quite about money isn’t it and not just in China
I'm surprised she didn't mention the hukou problem. In short, if the couple doesn't have a house they cannot send their children to public school. So they have to pay for expensive private one, bribe someone to register they children or send them far away to their grandparents or relatives.
bribe? lol that sounds so down-to-earth
To be honest, she is speaking from Shanghainese perspective. The same situation exists in New York, London.
Outside of Shanghai and the other tier 1 cities housing is not hard
No one expects you to have a house in NYC bro, I bet half the married couples have roommates 😂
Any place in the world where 1 year mid level office salary won’t buy you a car and 10 years worth of salary won’t buy you a house is a very hard place to live in.
isn't that like every country? 😅
Not the amount of money that can be saved a month, for example $3000 salary a month so x12 equals $36000
@@Meow3431 Dude no, in America that's very doable on a mid level office salary of $45k a year. It won't buy you a house depending on the area but it would at least get you enough for a 1st time house mortgage within 5 years.
Lol what kind of dreamy state do you live in ?
I live with roommates, make close to the amount, and have absolutely no savings.
@MK_ULTRA420
$45K is low wage, not mid level. Mid level is bare minimum $100K
Love from greece!!in greece if you have an apartment you must pay a lot of money to the government every year,so even if you own the house it is not really yours because you pay every year money to the government,if you cannot afford to pay it then after a few years the government will take your house!!the interest rate for taking a loan is off the roof and the basic salary is 700€-800€ while renting a small apartment one bedroom is usually 350-450 euros.shopping at the supermarket is like going at the jewelry shop!!owning and maintaining a car is very expensive because of the price of gasoline and the money that you have to pay to the government every year for having a car,even a minister said that rich people shoul own a car,all those years that everyone had a car was wrong...that is why young people in greece don't want to get married and have children,they can't afford it and most people migrate to other counties.
in VietNam, if you have 1kUSD salary, you might should pay about 250-300for renting
I lived in China for 5 years 2005-2010. First question people asked me - Where are you from? 2nd - How much do you make?.. rarely asked my name
Educated women can now earn to buy their own house
That's a great thing. We need more equality and chances for everone. However, it's also time to keep women more accountable financially
They can’t get the marriage from the guys that are her Top picks
@@TheShowOff2Iyes this is common knowledge. Guys who are rich marry rich w4m4n. But they are the m4st d4srirable m4n.
Yes but woman don't like to provide for most part so woman with money and houses are pointless plus most are financially irresponsible and waste money they can't help it, they can only provide for them selves Cas of modern times with cushy high education jobs yet they are still broke so who cares
@@danielgareth4205 It's not a great thing. It's destroying society.
I feel like people have become so self centered. Love is gone and people just want instant gratification. Me me me.
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
Yes. Totally agree with you. Especially women these days. You have to agree that "A man will leave his happiness for his family but a woman will leave her family for her happiness"
@@LebenDeutschland161 Bro stop being one-sided. Both sexes go for theirs and above their leagues.
based on this interview in this particular case i do not think it's out of narcissism or young ppl being self-centered. It may seem like that compared to socialist times decades ago, but right now things have changed. i see it more as putting your own oxygen mask first before partnering with someone. people move cities and countries and look for ways to a better life (including marrying a richer person) because life costs have risen immensely compared to income. it's a mechanism of survival, it seems, and China is not an exception in this trend, sadly. Thank you, Asian Boss.
@@LebenDeutschland161yes, a fat cat cases recently
Very interesting conversation ❤
The fact that I'm gay and I don't have these kind of struggle while my twin brother....
He's working in a top company as a director in shanghai, and he struggled no less.
in some place , girls family would ask for a huge amount of bride price as well , around 50k USD plus a decent house in the city as she mentioned . Basically its impossible for a lower class family to afford all these cost to get their son married . Even if they could , think about the cost of raising a child nowday , its just insane . Why would a man chose to get into a misable marrige if he could enjoy his life with all these money .
Refuse it and marry her.
vice versa. Chinese women who have a decent livelihood may not want to become family servants/housewives and are pickier with men
India, china, Korea all have so much similar tradition when it comes to marriage system. and the problems related to marriages are also the same.
Its hard to be a man in this generation
How
It only gets hard if your married or trying to get married. If you exclude women from your life then life becomes very simple and drama free.
for asians
Millions of female foetuses were aborted in China, as people favored boys. This society is highly patriarchal too and negatively impacts both men and women especially if poor/low status
It was harder before, in Ancient China.
The core of this issue is the deeply rooted mistrust between the two. And Chinese females are automatically treated themselves as the weak in the marriage, there is almostalways the need to keep themselves somehow protected, in case if the marriage does not work out. And Chinese guys tend to lack of the respect for the chastity of marriage. When cheating happens so commonly and there is neither legal or moral castigations for the faulty part, if it was the man most likely, the woman needs to grab tightly as much as money as possible for self protection.
Exactly.
Women cheats too, and men have absolutely no 'security' in that case.
Fellow shanghainese, but a man. I'm fortunate enough to study in the US, and that's rhe best thing that happened to me. I was able to avoid the extremely money focused and transactional dating scene. Had 4 girlfriends during undergrad and graduate school, had 4 girlfriends, the last one is my wife who is a Chinese student from Guangxi. Dating and marrying for love is the best thing in life. After graduation we both found jobs with American companies with 6 figure salaries and immigrated. And thanks to cheap housing in the US, we bought 2 houses, brought her parents to the US too, and we have 3 children. See, China, this is how you get people to have children.
China has 1.6 BILION people bro 😂 do they need more ??
What cheap houses?
@@qwkl2450 I think he means cheap compared to Shanghai .
@@qwkl2450 This is true. The houses in the states are much much cheaper and bigger than the ones in China. I'm a guy from Beijing living in a small apartment.
@@qwkl2450 We bought 2 house in a major city in Texas. The one we live is 300 square meters and in a 10/10 school district, the one her parents live in is 250 and meters in a 6-7/10 school district. The 2 houses only cost $600K total combined (still less than $1 million today). You can't even get a 2 bedroom apartment in Shanghai for that price. US housing is very cheap, especially since the prices are much cheaper while the wages are much higher.
In 1997 or 98 ,government started to promote privately owned apartments. People who got apartments from their companies, they were told they need to buy their current apartments. We paid about $3000 for our apartment. Before that people paid rent every month to their companies, the rent was very affordable.
That was the way to live
Before even getting married, ask yourself this one single question: what are you prepared to sacrifice?
I only partially agree on the reasons, the other reasons are not mentioned here, the life pressure: heavily competitive work environment with limited resources, people just live like work slaves who sell almost 24 hrs for the company, in return, however, they just get a small amount of payment. As a result, young people no time to socialise and feel no hope for future. It is the problem of imbalanced resource with too huge population in Asia. Not all of Asian girls are materialistic and ask guys to buy the house as pre-requisite to get married...........
Chinese marriage is not based on love,they are only looking for financial.if man without house or car he doesn’t has love too.
Because the woman is expected to bear his children and provide elder care for his parents. He's not offering love.
Almost all interviews, shows, surveys with China single ladies, their requirement not only asking for a house, or property, the lady will asked for the house to put under her name, she also wants to know his entire savings, any other loans etc all about money. Some even ask for a huge bride price money from the groom, and asked for a house for her sibling or education money or marriage money for her bro etc. Scary.
Actually my great grandfather prepared (built) small houses (in rural area of course) for all of his sons before they got married. The house tradition definitely roots in Chinese culture for hundreds of years.
I left China to study abroad when I was 17, never dated a Chinese guy -- not deliberately avoiding them, I guess they just found me overly independent and not easy to “handle”. Anyway, I married a Norwegian man. I’m pretty happy that I ended up with a Nordic guy, that I have never experienced the problems that my fellow females friends in China have to endure.
Oxford study. You're not special
笑死，对北欧男人就没有任何金钱上的要求了是吧
After seeing this interview and having a look around my surrondings here in India I think staying poor is a better option for India, because the fertility rate in Urban India has fallen to around 1.6 while it is still high for rural India 2.2. I am seeing a trend in Urban areas of not getting married and marrying very late because of the same reasons stated in the interview but in India there is still a huge supply of women from the rural areas where just becoming a houswife is the primary goal of their life while in Urban areas women are choosy now and want to work and want a husband who earns more then them, the trend can be easily seen in matrimonial sites in India.
(1950) My grandparents married at 14-15 years of age and marraige was just based on how much land the parents had, (1980) my parents were married after seeing the job profile of my father and how much land he had, (2024) I'm still unmarried beacause of my financial conditions I can't find a city women, can find an uneducated bride from rural India but I dont want to because I have always lived in a city, just to fcuk and have kids is not my goal in life.
Marry a educated woman from tier 2 cities. Village women are seldom uneducated.
@@deepalil1085 all women in cities want huge pay packages or look at family assets.
Your thinking is quite ridiculous... India's population is really too much high for context , we beat the china in terms of population but has 3 times less landmass than them. And of course , whole other things. Being poor is not going to be good for future of India
You should start a podcast
You should do an interview with Sarah Paine!
Very materialistic society, sadly.
Can you create a new household without money? Even an unmarried young adult needs money to move out of his parents' home.
Well that is everywhere.
money printing affect us all
The cost of marriage is truly high for the men in China whereby the men have to provide a house and car and some bride’s parents demand a household registration for the men in their city and a huge bride price that’s like over 150k RMB (average bride price in Shanghai) and it’s really cut throat. In other countries, both the men and women work together towards their planned future by paying for their house and car together. Even the bride price is like a token of gratitude paid from the men to the bride’s family.
There is also the issue of the 996, meaning the working hours. How much is left in the day to raise kids?
Well I’m gonna say it. In China women have it very difficult in life, and in turn they ask for ridiculous amounts of money as “compensation” in marriage. It’s very weird but that’s how it works
How do Chinese woman have it more difficult than any other country? Compare to Korea and Japan, Chinese woman have more options and less pressure.
@@99wilson That’s true, but especially in rural areas they still have it pretty hard
I think marriage rates are going down in a lot of places in the world. Cost of living has become too expensive for a lot of people everywhere. In the U.S., a lot of guys lost a lot of money in divorces or know people who have and don’t want to deal with that.
wow, very interesting.
Who is the "provider" in the "relationship" family or not partner or not who is the main person who "provides" in the "RELATIONSHIP"
Dowry the guy needs to pay few hundred thousand cny to the girls parents, he needs to own a car, needs to own a house.....guys solution is quite simple, just be born millionaires simple :)))
NOT REALLY TRUE, the real reason people don’t want so many children are the schools are EXPENSIVE and they can raise their prices and BRIBE YOU AT ANY TIME, FOOD, CLOTHING, THE COST OF HAVING THE CHILD AT THE HOSPITAL 🏥 IS EXPENSIVE
Nowadays almost every person has a smartphone and people get too much info every day including marriage lives.
And lots of info they get is negative.
They have been exposed to such info and affected for a long time.
As a result people have become negative towards things, of course including marriage.
What I found shocking was she said under socialism they got a house for free.
Capitalism-million dollar 2 bedroom apartment and no baby making .
Socialism -free housing and going to prison to make more than 1 baby.
Thats my wife's parents hate me, because i cant afford a house in China🤣 by the way im a foreigner.
Any society in which you cannot marry someone because their parents are against it is the worst. Dated lots of chinese girls in my time and when things got serious, it was the parents asking what kind of job or does he own a house? F'k that! People need to think for themselves and not what their parents want. There are enough chinese in the world, no need to keep breeding. Some people are happy to marry without having kids.
That's just your spineless exes lol
The problem is that all the people who know how this happened discuss it, complain about it, and condemn the issue. However, in reality, these same people are the ones buying the houses and the driving force of this housing price bubble.
En many countries people have no interest in getting marry and have children. One of my chinese friends said they want children to be happy having not a stressful life and live in freedom. They have two children who were born outside of China. Y en Hong Kong, los matrimonios y la natalidad descendieron desde el 2021. Qué mejor ejemplo!!
Culture is extremely materialistic and Chinese women seem to have unrealistic demands and expectations. It’s crazy because I thought the western world was materialistic and individualistic but modern China is in next level. Sad that’s now how ancient China was and it was more family oriented
This hyper materialism in China is what happens when you mix western capitalism with tradition and Confucianism. It is destroying the foundation of Chinese culture. It needs a reset and I am starting to see the young generation rebelling against this rotten mix bag of a culture. The way I see it, it is the transitionary period where Chinese discovered new wealth and no one wants to be left behind. SOmething else will replace it in 20 or 30 years. The gov also don't like the marriage culture in China and they seek to change it, but not sure if they can be successful. Its much harder than building up the economy.
and yet they still call the chinese communist
Can you give an example of unrealistic demands and expectations? And perhaps why modern China is more materialistic and individualistic than western countries as you say?
"Sad how ancient China was more family oriented"
LoL, It IS a traditional way of thinking, why people do people think that this is a new generation trend or thing.
If you wanna blame something, It has gotta be capitalistic aspect of the society and the housing prices overall.
@@yiluis1316 Yes, tradition has to change and evolve, however, the current trend of having to use an economic system learned from the west is not suitable for China which has no colonies, limited resource and huge population. Capitalism works when you have endless resources for endless growth, which we now know is a western fantasy. This is why they need new wars and new countries to exploit to grow. A new system must be found that does not punish people for having children and families.
12:57 Chinese parents sound delusional
my question, and it's a serious question. If the men are expected to have a car and a house and a secure job, what do the women bring to the table? Apart from their ability to give birth? I grew up in Shanghai so I know the stereotype of "car house job etc." but I honestly don't know how it ACTUALLY is nowadays. Although I don't know that many women in Shanghai (since I haven't lived there in a while), all of the ones that I know work and share the rent with their boyfriend.
Ouch... "pool of quality guys" - that's harsh 😅
I would say housing is a small potion of the reason. The big part of the reason is still universal actually, just like other countries. People in general are pickier when it comes to finding a life time partner compared with their parents' generation, which is an absolutely good thing. Some people get married to have an happy life. And some other people don't get married also because they want to have an happy life. That is total fine.
Except nobody is having enough kids now and the population decrease isn't sustainable
很简单。因为穷
你 该 知 道 ， 末 世 必 有 危 险 的 日 子 来 到 。因 为 那 时 人 要 专 顾 自 己 、 贪 爱 钱 财 、 自 夸 、 狂 傲 、 谤 ? 、 违 背 父 母 、 忘 恩 负 义 、 心 不 圣 洁 、无 亲 情 、 不 解 怨 、 好 说 谗 言 、 不 能 自 约 、 性 情 凶 暴 、 不 爱 良 善 、卖 主 卖 友 、 任 意 妄 为 、 自 高 自 大 、 爱 宴 乐 、 不 爱 神 ，有 敬 虔 的 外 貌 ， 却 背 了 敬 虔 的 实 意 ； 这 等 人 你 要 躲 开 。那 偷 进 人 家 、 牢 笼 无 知 妇 女 的 ， 正 是 这 等 人 。 这 些 妇 女 担 负 罪 恶 ， 被 各 样 的 私 欲 引 诱 ，(提 摩 太 後 書 3:1-6)
发展中的贫穷国家却是出生率较高。孩子很多。
@@user-vf7cn3oy8g 那是穷惯了，无所谓。 中国很多人见识过物质生活丰富，和就业机会相对好的时候，现在不好了，如果生孩子就得反贫，另外底层互害，大家也不结婚了。
The moment you realize that is is cheaper to own condo in NY than in Shanghai
Sounds like a blessing!
If you can find the right person to get married, its even better. Nothing wrong being single though
Will be interesting to see what Japan and China do to tackle the problem. Korea doubled down and went the "4B Movements " way
Sent them our way🇺🇲. We need more Asians ❤
I no longer think getting married is the ultimate goal of people anymore. Or having children.
Marriage no longer equates " and they lived happily ever after"
As a mother not once did I ask my sons,"when r u planning on getting married?"
4B is barely known in Korea. It’s only popular on TikTok among white people lol
@@ceeIoc Damn😂😂
@@GodSpeed1105anime weirdo
Being a Turk born and raised in Germany and being a German citizen I often communicate with people from Turkey and they say the same about marrying. Apparently there's a shift in expectations which turn out to be a roadblock for young men when they want to marry.
I have heard this and read about it many times. The woman's family is demanding certain things before they agree on letting their daughter marry a man, often the bride to be or the mother in law to be formulates a list of things that need to be done prior marrying.
Many lists look like this: the man has to buy a house, a car, both need to be registered under the bride's name so it's hers, the groom also needs to buy 2-5 kilograms of gold for the bride's parents, and if she has brothers, the groom also needs to buy the brothers 500g to 1 kilogram of gold. The bride also asks for 10-15 gold bangles where one of those could be as much as 1000 USD each. In addition to this the groom needs to ensure that they will make at least 2 vacations in Antalya or similar high priced vacation resorts. As you can understand from this, the men can't cope with those demands as many are working with the minimum wage in Turkey. Mostly around 60% of the total workforce is on minimum wage and in tourism regions people only work during the summer. Many decide to not marry or take huge loans from banks or relatives and pay it back for the next 10-15 years. That's not what's good for a society. I think this is happening in many countries now and life is getting more and more complicated. I can imagine the problem is more severe in China as the population is much much bigger.
wow
@@user-vp1xr5yh6k I think it got totally out of hand. Yet I somehow understand where it comes from. If a society is struggling badly with a poor economy people want to make sure the woman is kept in economical safety. But at what cost? Nobody will be able to afford a wedding. I haven't even mentioned all the things that are being expected for the engagement, which is also a truckload of materialistic things for the upcoming house, like furniture, household items, a kitchen with all appliances, vacuum cleaners, cutlery, plates, pots and pans which adds to another huge bill. With high taxes on all electronics in Turkey you can basically almost double the prices of electronics compared to other countries. A basic laptop can easily cost 2000$, a premium computer is 4000-5000$. A BMW SUV manufactured in the US that goes for 80K USD turns into a 516.000$ SUV as soon as it hits the Turkish ground. So, when she wants that BMW SUV, you're done. With an average minimum wage of around 600$. You do the math.
Aye thats crazy!! 😢😮 I pray for yall.
Rent or own? Yen or usd?
I'm sorry but in the 90's in the U.S paying 3,000 a month for a 3 bedroom is crazy.
What kind of BS reason she was giving?!
It is nice to have an other perspective and a real conversation, loved this video. However, why don't you first explain who she is? At least say her name in the description. It was the same with your video about the Geiko, no name in description.
Wait, you're saying this isn't a thing in korea or japan?
It is. She is just not knowledgeable about history. Its Confucianism
As Chinese women are gaining more education and independence, their expectations for their potential partners are becoming more selective. Typically, the desired criteria for a match are a man who is above 5'9", earns more than 15,000 RMB per month and owns a car and an apartment in the city. Additionally, a big dowry to the bride's parents could also be expected. Although these requirements may seem reasonable, the number of men who meet these standards is quite low.
None of this are reasonable regard current situation
@@js00js56they are reasonable demands.
Whatever happened to falling in love with the person?? Not just if you can bring a house in and make her feel "secure".... sounds more like a contract arrangement
I get the impression that people are not paying attention to emotions. They want to know if you have money. I think families pressure their children to marry even when they don't want to. I have a feeling that is what is contributing to many spouses cheating and the increase in divorces.
Falling in love, being in love and getting married are 2 very different things. You can be in love forever and not be married. You can be married forever and be in love or not. A marriage is a contract that help 2 people to build and protect wealth or a legacy together as a family, for their children if they have them, for themselves or other family members. It also make those couples dependant and responsible of each other legally. So you better trust your partner before getting married. Being in love does not mean you trust this person to make life or death medical decisions for you one day.
I’m glad that I live in a country that none of that happens. Nobody ask anything from parents and parents almost don’t are who you marry as long as you can support yourself and husband or wife or partner. They can buy a house, rent and whatever they want.
I believe we take that last point for granted.
Socialism: buying an apartment for 3000
Capitalism: buy same apartment for 1 million dollar minimum.
Socialism takes it does not buy or produce, just simply takes and redistributes as the leaders see fit.
but there are 2-3 house to buy for 1k people in socialism haha
well... I hope you enjoy your socialist state.
No prenuptial?
mostly not. the Chinese marriage law is usually very fair for both sexes. This is why the female side always want the apartment name to be in their name or controlling the house finance after marriage to make up for their extreme need to control the relationship and feel secure.
I feel like this would be a good topic for Japan, too, considering the declining population
Government: Get married and buy a house! I don't know why it's so hard?!
Also everyone:
This is why we can't feel sorry for the women. They limit their own options. It's like being starving but only requesting they eat at a Michelin Star restaurant.
The women are trying to make sure their children don’t struggle in society. If a woman breeds with a man with no resources then it’s her fault for picking that man as the father of her children. Her children will not have an advantage ahead of other children, they’ll have to start from the bottom. Who wants their kids to struggle? Men only think about themselves not the children that will come out of being in a relationship with a woman.
It’s more like the women can afford rice and meat/veggies on their own merit, why would they settle for dumpster diving? Because of “love”? There have to be some standards considering women are still expected to work and give birth and raise kids and take care of his parents…
@@jzeng-pj4rp XD hahahaha
Exactly 😮
The only problem with your analogy is the assumption that women are thirsty. Then in reality they can be more than okay without intimacy.