The 4 Main Attachment Styles in Relationships (+ The Attachment Theory)
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- Опубліковано 12 гру 2022
- Today I'm talking about the four attachment styles and how they play out in relationships. My name is Kati Morton, I'm a licensed therapist sharing how attachment styles affect our relationships, and how you can learn to recognize them and adjust your behavior accordingly. We'll be covering relationship attachment issues, styles and the attachment theory model. We will also talk about anxious attachment, avoidant behavior, and much more.
Also, if you're struggling with attachment and boundaries, I have a LIVE boundaries workshop that will be in January. You can find more details here: katimorton.com/the-shop/p/hea...
If you're looking to understand your relationship better, be sure to watch this video! It'll help you to understand how your attachment style affects your relationships, and how you can change it to improve your relationships.
BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP
katimorton.com/the-shop/p/hea...
If you're wondering if you're overly attached in your relationship, this video is for you! I will tell you about the four attachment styles and how they can affect your relationship. After watching this video, you'll be able to understand why you and your partner behave the way you do and how to best manage your attachments!
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I have an attachment workshop to help anyone struggling with attachment issues. For more information & to sign up, visit here:
I guess I've always been looking for attachment. Everywhere I go, I just want to feel good enough for people; and to feel loved, accepted and understood. I really can't stand the feeling of loneliness and insecurity.
Attachment theory has never been proven. It's still just that, a theory. People's attachment styles changes with life experiences, cultural influences and life stages - which is also highlighted in psychology.
Life is often an abusive relationship because the worst part of being a human is the fact that we have needs which we cannot meet ourselves and must be met through other people. So much love lost, and nothing but hate found. All I want for Christmas, is my experience of life to end.
I’m here because I keep running into the same issue in relationships where the moment I feel the other person likes me, I begin to value them less. Something is wrong with me and I want to fix it
I’ve struggled with attachment for a very long time. I’m extremely self sufficient, to the point where I’ve refused any kind of dependency on others. I’m in therapy now and starting to work through it. It’s scary, but I’m hopeful, as I’ve already become better at opening up to others and started being a bit more vulnerable around my close friends. I have a lot of work to do, but I think I might actually get better :)
My partner prioritized chatting with his online VR chat friends more than me. He'd come home from his full time job and spend hours holed up in his office in our house talking and talking. He said he was trying to build a platform and get views for money. Ignoring me. It got to the point where I had a meltdown after trying to communicate with him how much that bothered me. We never had sex anymore. I threw my engagement ring at him. And the next day he packed up and left. He said he needed to spend a month at his parents. At this point I'm burnt out. . As an Anxious-Attached person who sacrificed and invested a lot of time, it hurts so so much. I WILL NEVER DATE AN AVOIDENT EVER AGAIN.
I am #3 and #4, abusive, unattached and inaccessible parents. I finally got a wonderful, smart therapist who finally diagnosed me with CPTSD and had great insight to my past. After 5 years of therapy, she had to cut me off and it was SO hard for me, I kept putting it off. I was confused and thought I did something wrong, it was hard for me to trust her at the start. I am struggling without her insight and knowing I can count on her. I know intelligently, I have to count on myself and it’s unhealthy to be so attached, but emotionally I struggle.
Toxic Independance? I've seen many people who are quite happy on their own. Nothing toxic there.
Unfortunately I was adopted. In hospital for first 5 months. Just nurses taking care of me. Then foster care for 2 months. By the time I was adopted I didn't like being held. This has caused permanent harm to me as an adult.
i always heard of the first three categories and could never relate to any of those.. the fourth one honestly opened a world to me and i feel like a lot more things make sense now. thank you <3
Attachment Theory is such a powerful tool. It helped me put my most recent break-up into perspective and to get a better understanding of both myself and my ex-girlfriend. I strongly recommend checking it out to anyone who's been through a break-up that just didn't make sense or who finds themselves pushing away people that they love. It cannot replace therapy, but it's still very useful.
This was so helpful! I've heard/ read about attachment styles a lot, but usually, it's just about the parent-child dynamic, and that is hard to relate to because I don't remember what it was like back then. But when you relate attachment styles to these clear descriptions of adults, it's much easier to recognize where I fit in the most. So thank you!
I isolate and distance myself when I find myself being possessive.
Thank you Kati, I found this very intriguing and it made me think about my life. It seemed that I spent half my life in the Disorganized Attachment stage, having learned not to trust from a very young age into adulthood, having nowhere to turn, not even to myself for security, then drinking too much to avoid having to think about it.
Kati, you are one of (if not the) best therapist I’ve found on UA-cam. You have really helped me sort out some really difficult things and I just want to express how much I appreciate you and all the work you do on these videos. They are so informative, articulate, and well-done. Thank you for all you do! Looking forward to the boundaries workshop.
Kati - you might not ever read this but you help me fight my way through the enigma of my life and the way my brain works and I can never thank you enough. Especially your videos on attachment styles and emotional neglect have helped me understand that there is a
I just realised that I used to have the avoidant attachment , but these last years my sense of self has also been somehow distorted and low so , I might have started having Disorganized attachnment style . I might need to talk about it with my therapist.
This is an excellent video! Informative, concise, and direct about attachment. I really enjoyed it. Thanks Katie, keep up the good work!!
Thank you so much, Kati. With a few words you have given me clarity concerning a challenging relationship with someone who I deeply care for. I feel like I have been given a lens through which I can finally begin to comprehend what I've been seeing. I have a sense of direction but now I have work to do! 😅